Sextistics: An End-of-Year Sexual Stats Breakdown (2019)

Once again this year, I kept a sex spreadsheet – and once again, I have lots of stats to share! Gather ’round and let me tell you about my 2019 sex life…

Overview

In 2019, I had partnered sex 204 times.
That works out to an average of 17 times per month, 3.92 times per week, and 0.56 times per day.
I had 174 orgasms from partnered sex (not including phone sex, which has its own section below).
My partners had a total of 211 orgasms from sex with me.
An incomplete list, in alphabetical order, of the kink activities I incorporated into partnered sex this year: bimboification, biting, bondage, bootblacking, choking/gagging, cock and ball torture, DD/lg roleplay, electrostimulation, face-slapping, financial domination/sugar dating (simulated), forced feminization/gender play, hypnosis, impregnation (simulated), intoxication, knife play, medical roleplay, pegging, public play, punching, rimming/analingus, roleplay, sadomasochism, scratching, sensory deprivation, sleepy sex, spanking, squirting, trampling, watersports, wax play.

Compared to last year…

I had 38.8% more sex.
I had an orgasm in 85.3% of the sex I had, versus 98% last year. A large part of that is because I’ve been leaning more toward the ace end of the spectrum and becoming more comfortable with respecting my body’s wishes when it doesn’t feel like receiving genital touch.
My partners’ collective orgasm rate with me was 103.4%, ’cause I’m a sex genius, I guess.
I had 2 partners, versus 3 last year.

Partners

My 2 sexual partners this year were 1) my romantic partner and 2) a friend with benefits.
100% of my partners this year were non-binary people, making this the first year since 2010 that I’ve had zero sex with cis men. Wow.
One of my partners is 1.33 years older than me while the other is 8.42 years older than me, so they are, on average, 4.88 years older. The trend of me fucking predominantly or exclusively people older than me has continued for my entire adult sex life.
I met my 2 partners on Twitter and at our mutual workplace, respectively, which makes me feel pretty bleak about online dating.

Locations

I had sex in a total of 9 different locations this year, versus 12 last year.
These included: my current apartment in downtown Toronto, my old apartment in the west end of Toronto, my partner’s apartment in Manhattan, a sex club, and 5 hotels (2 in New York, 1 in Montreal, 1 in Portland, 1 in Toronto).
The locations likeliest to facilitate orgasm for me were the Heathman Hotel in Portland (100%), my current apartment (94.2%), and my old apartment (92.1%), continuing the pattern of me orgasming most easily in locations that make me feel comfortable. (Also locations where I have easy access to weed.)
The locations least likely to facilitate orgasm for me were the Oasis sex club (50%), the Gramercy Park Hotel (62.5%), and the Broadview Hotel (66.7%).
Of all the cities I had sex in this year, I was the most orgasmic in Portland (100%) and the least orgasmic in Montreal (68.8%). My hometown of Toronto’s orgasm rate was 91.6%.

Highs and lows

My most sexually active month was August (31 times) because I was with my partner for the longest stretches of time that month (totaling 14 days).
My least sexually active months were February, May, and June (all tied at 10 times) because those trips were shorter (4-5 days each) and also, in the case of those latter months, I was prepping for two moves and was very stressed and busy.
The day on which I had the most sex was June 22nd, at 5 times. I have no explanation for this silliness.
The most orgasms I had in a partnered sex session was 2, which happened 5 times.

Correlations

The sex acts most correlated with orgasm for me were using a vibrator and a dildo together (100 times), receiving oral sex sans penetration (25), and using a vibe while being fingerbanged (23).
Less common ways I got off were receiving oral sex while being fingerbanged (14 times), receiving oral sex while being fucked with a dildo (5), and using a vibrator during PIV (2).
The main thing that sticks out to me about these numbers is that I came more often from oral sex this year than any year since about ~2013 (wasn’t keeping a spreadsheet back then!) because of being with someone skilled and attentive for a long enough time that they could learn my body.

Sex toys

My most-used vibrators with partners this year were the Eroscillator (96 times), Magic Wand Rechargeable (35), and We-Vibe Tango (7).
My most-used dildos with partners were the VixSkin Bandit (34 times), Njoy Eleven (25), and Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble (19). It’s worth noting here that my partner and I each own our own Bandits and Double Troubles, so these dildos get a lot of use partly because it’s convenient that we don’t have to transport them on every trip we take to see each other.
My most-used kink toys with partners were my Weal & Breech purpleheart mallet (7 times), a candle for wax play (6), and my Weal & Breech purpleheart truncheon (6).
Some “pervertibles” that got used a fair bit this year were tweezers (for sadomasochism), high heels (for shoe worship and trampling), ice cubes (for temperature play), knives (for knife play), and Tarina Tarantino heart necklaces (for hypnosis).

Phone sex

In 2019, I had phone sex 246 times. (This was the first year that I kept track of this, so I don’t have any stats from previous years to compare it to, unfortunately.)
That works out to an average of 20.5 times per month, 4.7 times per week, and 0.67 times per day.
That means phone sex was 54.7% of my sex life this year.
I had 241 orgasms from phone sex. In cases where we had phone sex and I didn’t come, the reason was almost always that I was falling asleep. (Sometimes we stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning on these calls!)
The total amount of sex sessions I had this year (IRL sex + phone sex) was 450.
That works out to an average of 37.5 times per month, 8.65 times per week, and 1.23 times per day. Yeesh.