A-spot

Review: Chalovelo Thrum rabbit vibe

Kate Sloan

I’m doing a weird thing today and reviewing a vibrator I’ve already reviewed, at the request of the company who sells it. But you know what? Maybe I’ll feel differently about it this time around. Me and my vagina have aged nearly a whole year since that last review, after all!

What is the Chalovelo Thrum?

The Thrum is a rabbit vibrator, i.e. it provides vaginal and clitoral stimulation simultaneously. The external arm is fairly standard – it just vibrates – whereas the internal arm vibrates, massages the G-spot area with textured beads that swell in and out on the shaft, and mechanically strokes the A-spot with its gently upturned tip. It’s an ambitious multitasker, that’s for sure!

The Thrum currently retails for about $60. It’s a rechargeable vibe made of silicone and ABS plastic, and is IPX6 water-resistant, meaning you can wash it in the sink or use it in the shower, but shouldn’t submerge it in water.

Things I like about the Chalovelo Thrum:

  • Excellent A-spot stimulation: Man oh man does my A-spot ever like this toy. The tip of the Thrum’s shaft – which is shaped vaguely like the head of a cock, complete with mild coronal ridge – moves up and down in a stroking motion, like a partner’s fingers can. There are 3 steady speeds followed by patterns, some of which are rhythmically consistent and some of which are more frustratingly off-kilter.
  • Individually controllable arms: As ever, I appreciate that you can control the external arm and the internal arm separately from one another, and can even use one while the other is turned off. My G-spot and A-spot may want a different intensity of sensation from my clit at various points in the arousal process, so it’s good to be able to control these components individually.
  • Clit arm shape: The external arm of this toy kinda looks like a dolphin balancing a ball on its nose. At first glance, it may seem odd, but it’s surprisingly versatile – depending on how I position it, I can get broader stimulation with the thickest part of the shaft, or more pinpointed stimulation from the tip. My desires in this regard might change throughout a session, so it’s nice to have options.
  • Clit arm flexibility: I truly think the (much pricier) We-Vibe Nova 2 revolutionized the rabbit-vibe category, by making its clitoral arm very flexible, so that you don’t lose clitoral contact if you thrust the toy in and out during use. Lots of other sex toy companies have taken cues from We-Vibe in this area and are making rabbits with bendy clit arms now – and it works really well here, giving me leeway to thrust the toy if I want to, and even to position the clit arm higher on my clitoral hood or lower on the tip of my clit depending on my mood.
  • Price: $60 isn’t bad for a body-safe, rechargeable rabbit vibe.

Things I don’t like about the Chalovelo Thrum:

  • Buzzy clit vibes: The external arm is a make-or-break aspect of a rabbit vibe, because most vulva-owners get off primarily (or exclusively) from clit stimulation. As such, I wish this toy’s clitoral vibrations were rumblier and stronger. As-is, their intensity is middling, and their buzzy timbre prevents me from being able to reach orgasm with this toy because my clit gets a little desensitized and disengaged after a few minutes.
  • Only 3 steady speeds: Both the internal and the external arm of the Thrum have 3 steady speeds followed by 7 patterns. I’m not a big patterns person and would prefer more basic speeds to choose from. There’s not much variation between the speeds, either, and the amount of patterns feels like an attempt to compensate for the lackluster motor.
  • Short battery life: Up to 50 minutes of use after a 2.5-hour charging time… ain’t great.
  • Loud: The mechanical whirr of this toy would definitely be audible by someone in the same room as you, and might even be audible through a closed door in some cases.
  • Linty: Whatever silicone formulation its makers picked for this toy, it’s wildly prone to picking up lint, dust, hairs, etc., so you may want to give the toy a quick rinse before each use.
  • Both modes are on by default: This wouldn’t bug everybody, but it bugged me – as soon as you turn on the toy, both arms turn on (as opposed to having a ‘standby’ mode from which you can choose which functions to turn on), and the sensation can be pretty jarring, especially if the toy is already inside you at that point. At one point this made me shout “Whoa! Jesus Christ!” so loud that my wife heard me through a wall.

Final thoughts

I wish Chalovelo made a version of the Thrum that was just the A-spot-stroking portion, because I loved that part of the toy! I kept thinking about how hard I would be able to come if I could just pair that stroking with a clitoral vibe that is actually rumbly, strong, and has more than 3 steady speeds, because unfortunately, the Thrum‘s clit arm just doesn’t do the trick for me.

I still think it’s a nifty rabbit vibe, though, with functions I’ve rarely seen elsewhere. The way the textured beads on the shaft massage my vaginal walls is cool, and the clit arm’s offbeat shape makes it versatile. I just wish they’d blessed this toy with a better, rumblier motor, and ideally a longer battery life. But for $60, the Thrum is a decent rabbit at a decent price – and it’s hard to hate a vibrator that looks like a dolphin doing a trick.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions on my own.

Review: XReverie Rilva rabbit vibrator

Kate Sloan

Every time I review a sex toy, I start by reading its instruction manual cover-to-cover – and one of the funniest parts of the manual is often the verbs that the sex toy company has chosen to express what its toy’s various functions do. I’ve seen everything from “slapping” to “squeezing” to “tickling”… and in this way, the XReverie Rilva rabbit vibrator stood out from the crowd, because it offers “digging” and “swelling.” What the hell does that mean? Let’s find out together, shall we?!

What is the XReverie Rilva rabbit vibrator?

Like most rabbit vibrators, this one has an internal arm that’s meant to be used vaginally, and an external arm that’s meant to be used clitorally.

In this case, the internal arm has a couple of different functions:

  1. The tip of the shaft strokes up and down in a “come hither” motion meant to stimulate the A-spot. (Yes, they specifically reference the A-spot in their product copy! Yay, more A-spot awareness!) Identified by XReverie as “digging,” I would moreso call this “stroking” or “massaging.”
  2. The middle of the shaft rhythmically undulates, expanding and contracting, or as XReverie calls it, “swelling.” It’s meant to stimulate the G-spot, and in practice, I’d say it feels more like light tapping against that area.

The external/clitoral arm of the toy is more straightforward – it just vibrates – but its shape is non-standard for a rabbit; it reminds me of a seal balancing a ball on its nose.

The Rilva is made of silicone and ABS plastic, and it currently retails for $54.99 USD. It lasts about 50 minutes on a 90-minute charge.

Things I like about the XReverie Rilva rabbit vibrator:

  • I’m always thrilled to see new toys coming out that target the A-spot specifically, and this one does a decent job of it! The tip of its shaft feels very similar to a partner stroking my spot with one or two fingers – which is my jam, man, as practically anyone I’ve ever fucked could tell you. There are 3 steady stroking speeds followed by some more erratic patterns; I liked that the steady speeds started relatively slow, instead of jackhammery (I often find myself saying “Slower, please!!” when partners are fingerbanging me). It’s a stroking motion, not a thrusting motion, but the sensation reminded me a lot of Fun Factory Stronic toys (RIP), in the way it hit my spot rhythmically again and again.
  • I dig that the internal and external arm can be controlled separately from one another, each with their own button. You can also pause one of the arms by double-clicking its button, if (for example) the clitoral vibrations start to overwhelm you and you want to focus on internal sensations for a while.
  • The Rilva comes with a lovely velvety storage bag… which is especially important because its soft matte silicone is very prone to picking up lint/dirt/etc.
  • It’s IPX6 water-resistant, meaning you can wash it in the sink or take it in the shower, but shouldn’t submerge it.

Things I don’t like about the XReverie Rilva rabbit vibrator:

  • Unfortunately the biggest issue with this toy is that its stroking function slows down under pressure. Even just the minor vaginal squeezing I do during mild-to-moderate arousal was enough to hinder its motion significantly – which was a bummer, because the stroking felt amazing until then! IMO, if you’re designing a toy for vaginal use, it should be able to withstand some basic Kegel flexing without buckling under the pressure.
  • The shaft of the toy also starts to overheat after a few minutes, especially if you’re putting extra pressure on the motor, by, uh, [checks notes] becoming sexually aroused while it’s inside you. It never got hot enough to hurt me or anything, but it was still unsettling.
  • The clitoral arm is fairly useless for me: its vibrations are irritatingly buzzy (albeit surprisingly strong, especially on the high end) and its shape inevitably focuses those vibrations onto the hypersensitive tip of my clit, rather than the clitoral shaft or hood. Some people would enjoy this laser-focused intensity, but I sure ain’t one of ’em.
  • I don’t know why soooo many toys I’m reviewing here lately have had 3 steady speeds followed by 7 patterns, but I’m tired of it!! Give us more steady speeds and fewer patterns!! Both the internal and external arms of the Rilva have this issue.
  • I can’t even really comment on the part of the shaft that “swells” against the G-spot, because I barely felt it. It’s inventive, though!
  • The Rilva is kinda loud, although that’s normal with mechanical stroking toys like this one.

Final thoughts

Wish I liked this toy more, but alas, the XReverie Rilka rabbit vibe has some significant mechanical issues, including its tendency to slow down under any pressure, its troubling habit of overheating, and its gratingly buzzy motor.

But I hope more sex toy companies (including XReverie!) keep making A-spot-focused toys, because this spot deserves more love. As in, the kind of love that doesn’t slow to a crawl the minute you get turned on.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Lusting for Lovecore: Matching My Outfits to My Favorite Uberrime Dildo!

Kate Sloan

I love sex toys, I love fashion, and I especially love opportunities to blend those two interests together. So I’m sure you can understand why I was so excited when indie sex toy company Uberrime reached out recently to ask if I’d like to write a post about…

…how custom toys can feel like an expression/extension of self? You have such a consistent and memorable collection of go-to colors in both your business branding and personal fashion, I figured if anyone would want a toy to “match,” it might be you!

Needless to say, I replied with an enthusiastic YES!

I’m a massive fan of Uberrime’s Night King dildo (here’s my review from 2019 if you’d like to read it), because its length, shape, and coronal ridge make it an absolute powerhouse for A-spot stimulation. The brand sweetly offered me a brand-new, custom-made Night King, in the colors of my choice, to highlight the extreme customizability offered on Uberrime’s site. Color isn’t the only thing you get to customize, either: you can also select your preferred firmness for your new toy, and decide whether you want a port in the base for a bullet vibrator or a Vac-U-Lock device. Gotta love a bespoke dong!

Choosing dildo colors can be a challenge for an indecisive femme comme moi, but in this case, I knew exactly what I wanted: red and pink. In other words, I wanted a “lovecore” Night King. I love these colors, but perhaps even more importantly for this post, I have a lot of clothing in these colors!

I started putting together outfits in my head before my new Night King even arrived on my doorstep – and when it did, it was so stunning in-person that I was even more excited to style it up. Ready to see the dildo-inspired ensembles I came up with?

Lounging in bed

When my friend Billy and I interviewed the kink writer Tina Horn on our podcast back in June, she said,

Part of the reason that I know I’m not femme is that I’ve learned so much about what ‘femme’ is to femmes… One of the defining things that I hear over and over again from femmes is that they’re femme when no one’s watching, or their resting state is femme, or they put on lipstick for themselves… You can put on lipstick for yourself, not because you’re brainwashed by the patriarchy!

While there are many valid definitions of femmeness, this one (among others) resonates with me – because not only do I frequently wear lipstick while alone, but I also frequently put together little loungewear ‘outfits’ that serve the sole purpose of making me feel cute while staying comfy. It’s an important outlet for my femme inclinations, especially since – what with being a chronically ill freelancer – I spend way more time in and around my bed than I do in most other places!

This is exactly the type of outfit I’d wear for a leisurely masturbation session on a Saturday afternoon, or even for a toy testing session during the week. Comfort is paramount when I’m hoping to get turned on, and this look takes that into account. (I’ve paired the Night King with a pink We-Vibe Tango X, because I – like most people with my anatomy – find dildos most pleasurable and effective when there’s some clit stimulation going on.)

What I’m wearing:
• Dark red modal slip dress – Calvin Klein Sleepwear
• Pink and red heart-print acrylic cardigan – Unique Vintage
• Bare feet

Party bimbo

Been a minute since I went to a kink conference or play party (’cause, y’know, pandemic + fibromyalgia), but I think this would be the ideal outfit to wear to something like a hypno munch or an intelligence-play workshop. Love a bimbo moment!

The lovecore Night King doesn’t exaaaactly fit inside my tiny heart-shaped purse, but that’s kind of part of the look, if you ask me…

What I’m wearing:
• Pink ribbed cropped tank top – Forever 21
• Pink and red heart-print velour trackpants – an Etsy shop that has since gone out of business
• Neon pink striped beanie – another Etsy shop that has since gone out of business!
• Raspberry pink leather heart earrings – Unicorn Collaborators
• Pink/red/orange custom Nike Air Force 1 sneakers
• Red heart-shaped bag – Kate Spade

Soft butch

One for the androgyny-enjoyers! (I count myself among your ranks…)

It’s been interesting observing the way that fluctuations in my chronic illness symptoms can influence my gender presentation. Sometimes a high-pain day will lead me to dress masc like this, because this type of outfit is more utilitarian and easier to throw together.

Occasionally my pain makes me feel so disconnected from my body that I only want to top, and not bottom, during sex – meaning that I want to do stuff to a partner, but don’t want to receive touch/pleasure directly myself, because keeping my awareness on my own body feels icky and depressing at those times. This is an outfit I might wear at a play party if I was in that type of mood, since it suggests the sex acts I am and am not up for, and gives me some soft-butch swagger that feels good when I’m in Top Mode.

What I’m wearing:
• Long-sleeved black shirt – gift from my mama
• High-waisted straight-leg jeans – Everlane
• Hot pink Doc Martens
• Aslan Leather Nicki Jaguar harness with Uberrime Night King dildo (read my review of this harness here – it’s been my fave for many years!)

Sex writer extraordinaire

Pre-pandemic, I used to write in cafés almost every day. I would tuck my laptop into a tote, throw on an energizing outfit, and then go hole up in the corner of a coffee shop to sip a latte and nibble a muffin while writing about dicks, dates, ‘n’ doms. I miss it! (I still do it once in a while, but definitely not as often.)

This would have been a perfect ensemble to wear while writing a blog post in public – say, a review of my lovecore Night King! I would toss the dildo into my bag before leaving the house, incase I needed to check its measurements or firmness, etc. while writing – surreptitiously and out of view of other patrons, of course!

What I’m wearing:
• “Run the Fuck” T-shirt – the Museum of Sex gift shop (the quote is a Betty Dodson-ism)
• Red pencil skirt – American Apparel
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell
• Pink leather satchel – Kate Spade (this was the first expensive/fancy bag I ever bought for myself, waaay back when I was like 22, and I still adore it)
• Red heart-shaped prescription glasses – Zenni
• Lovecore Night King + limited-edition “cherry blossom” Lamy Safari rollerball pen (gift from my spouse) + pink legal pad (gift from my brother)

Bonus outfit: Actual sex

I mean, it is a sex toy, after all…!

To tell you the truth, the Uberrime Night King has long been my spouse’s go-to dildo when she fucks me with a strap-on. As mentioned, it hits my A-spot with aplomb. You usually lose up to an inch of useable dildo length when you wear one in a harness, because of the thickness of the harness itself, but the Night King’s 8″ insertable length means it can still easily hit my A-spot even when strapped on. I chose the 12A/medium shore for this Night King, and I’m glad I did, because that firmness makes it feel incredible pounding into my spot again and again. (It helps a lot that my spouse’s strap game is top-notch, of course…)

The most recent time that my partner came to visit me, she had brought her harness, and we decided to try out my new Night King… and once she slid it into her harness and lubed it up, I was so struck by how hot it looked with her outfit that I asked if I could snap a photo for this post. Luckily for me (and for all of you!!), she obliged. And then, naturally, we had excellent strap-on sex 🤤

So, here is a very real-life example of how sex toy aesthetics can amp up excitement and arousal. Red is my spouse’s signature color, and one that looks exceptionally good on her, whether in the form of a lipstick, a mesh tank top, or (yes) a custom-made dildo – and I love that this dildo can easily be incorporated into both of our aesthetics, even though our styles are pretty different from each other!

What she’s wearing:
• Red mesh tank top – a fetishwear shop in Berlin called Schwarzer Reiter
• RodeoH briefs harness
• Uberrime Night King dildo, of course 😍

If this post has got you curious about matching your outfit to your dildo – or matching your dildo to your outfit! – then why not check out the Night King and the rest of Uberrime’s catalog, and pick the color(s) that make(s) your heart sing? Life’s too short for ugly toys in depressing shades; I want my toys to be bright and beautiful works of art, and Uberrime makes some of the prettiest silicone dildos I’ve ever seen. Pretty enough, even, to be a crucial component of some of my high-femme outfits. 💖

 

This post was sponsored by Uberrime, who I really, truly adore. As always, all writing and opinions (and outfits, except for my spouse’s!) are my own.

Review: VVD Rider Desire Sex Saddle

Kate Sloan

“Rideable vibrator” is a fun phrase to say out loud. Go ahead, try it!

I don’t often have occasion to say it out loud, because I don’t often review rideable vibes. They tend to be huge, and I live in a tiny apartment in downtown Toronto where space is at a premium!

But once in a blue moon, there will be a rideable vibe intriguing enough that I’ll make an exception… and the VVD Rider Desire Sex Saddle is one of those, not least because it’s quite a bit smaller than its most famous predecessors. Let’s talk about it.

Gratuitous thigh/tattoo shot for scale

What is the VVD Rider Desire Sex Saddle?

VVD, which stands for “Viva Desire,” is a women-led company that currently makes only one product (you guessed it: the Rider Desire). While I’d put it in the same general category as other rideable vibes like the Sybian and Cowgirl, the Rider Desire is much smaller, lighter, cheaper, and easier to set up. It’s also rechargeable rather than plug-in.

Shape-wise, it’s “inspired by the thrill of” horseback riding, in that it’s shaped like a saddle and you can rock back and forth on it, similarly to something like a Liberator Jaz Motion.

The Rider Desire has several functions: there’s a clitoral stimulator (called the “clit tapping” function) near the front for you to grind against, and there’s a “magnetic docking slot” where you can optionally insert one of the three penetrative attachments that comes with the toy. One attachment vibrates, one thrusts, and one “taps” against internal erogenous zones (more on that below). It also has a heating function.

Clit stimulator + magnetic docking port

Things I like about the Rider Desire

  • I appreciate that this toy has a clit stimulator and that it actually feels really good, since clit stimulation often seems to be an afterthought in dual-stimulation toys, despite it being absolutely central to most vulva-havers’ pleasure. The Rider Desire’s “clit tapper” technology reminds me a lot of the Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen, which similarly uses a tapping-esque sensation to stimulate the clit; it feels much rumblier, deeper, more impactful, more pleasurable and less numbing than standard vibration. As a matter of personal preference, I also like that it’s more pinpointed/focused here than the blunt-force clit stimulation you get from vibes like the Sybian or Cowgirl.
  • This toy can be controlled either via its included remote control, or via the toy’s own built-in buttons. VVD specifically asked me to talk about the potential kinky usages of this toy, and while it’s not intrinsically a kink toy per se, ceding the remote to your partner would put a lot of power into their hands, and I’m sure they’d enjoy watching you ride the vibe 😈 As for the buttons on the toy itself, I ended up preferring them over the remote, because they’re located right where my hand naturally rests when I’m grinding against the toy – and it took me only a few minutes of use to memorize their shapes and locations, so I could operate the toy without looking at the buttons.
  • I like that the Rider Desire can be used without an attachment if you’re ever in the mood for à la carte clit stimulation (which I frequently am), or if you just want to warm yourself up before moving on to penetration.
  • It’s really, really cool to me that the toy’s 3 attachments aren’t just shaped and sized differently – they actually do different things. This is quite unusual and I imagine it was difficult to program! My favorite attachment by far is the “tapping” one, which has an A-spotty shape and rapidly “taps” against that spot in a way that reminds me of top-notch fingerbanging. There are 13 tapping modes to choose from. My second-favorite is the thrusting attachment, which can be positioned to thrust against my G-spot or my A-spot, depending on how far I insert it; it has 6 different settings (3 steady ones and 3 patterns). The plain ol’ vibration attachment was less exciting to me, because I prefer motion over vibration when it comes to internal sensations, but its vibrations are rumbly and pleasant nonetheless.
  • The pelvic rocking ‘n’ rolling motion that this vibrator encourages is quite natural-feeling and fun, even for me, someone who is used to masturbating while laying down on her back. I think a toy like this would be even more enjoyable for someone who initially learned to masturbate by grinding against things and/or still regularly gets off that way now.
  • The Rider Desire is quite lightweight for a rideable vibrator, at just 4.24 lbs (or “no more than 3 bottles of water,” according to VVD). This has its pros and cons – the main “con” being that it doesn’t stay put as well as a heavier toy while you’re riding it – but for me it’s almost entirely a “pro,” because I physically can’t lug heavy vibrators around very often so this toy’s lightness makes it likelier I’ll actually use it. (Also, incase you were wondering, the toy has a max capacity of 330 lbs, but users tend to distribute some of their weight onto their knees when using a toy like this, so really it could probably be enjoyed by users up to 400 lbs or heavier, I’d imagine.)
  • There are some grippy traction strips on the bottom of the toy to help it stay in place while you’re riding it, which is a thoughtful choice on the part of the designers, although this feature doesn’t always work super great (more on that later).
  • The magnets that anchor the attachments in place are reasonably strong, such that I think you could safely use this toy for anal penetration without fear of an attachment popping off inside you and getting lost up there. (However, it’s designed for vulvovaginal use and works best that way.)
  • This toy is IPX5 splashproof. Normally this would be a “con” for me, because I like to use toys in the bath so I prefer them to be fully waterproof, but it would be kind of impractical to do that with this one, and I appreciate that it’s at least splashproof so I can wash it off in the sink without issue. (The attachments can be detached and washed separately.)
  • The Rider Desire’s $350 price tag will certainly be well out of the range of affordability for many people, but I think it’s a reasonable price for what you get – a sturdily-built vibe with multiple different attachments and functions – especially considering that heavier-duty rideable vibes will set you back $1,000–1,500. (Oh, and I’ve got a discount code for you, which’ll make it a bit cheaper. Check the end of this post for deets!)
From L to R: vibrating attachment, tapping attachment, thrusting attachment, charging cable, remote control

Things I don’t like about the Rider Desire

  • As with all rideable vibrators, I don’t think my body is especially compatible with this toy. I have fibromyalgia, which causes joint pain (among other things), but even before I developed fibro, my knees and hips just never had much flexibility/range of motion, so invariably, sitting astride a toy like this will make all the joints in my lower body start screaming with pain within a few minutes. I found it most comfortable to bend over/lean forward into an almost doggie-style position, as this didn’t require as deep of a knee bend as sitting upright on the toy, so I could sustain it for longer.
  • Unfortunately, I find it difficult to reach orgasm with this toy, because the clit stimulator only has one steady vibration mode. The other 12(!) of its modes are patterns (pulsing, escalating, and so on), which don’t give me as much direct control over what I’m feeling at any given time. The steady mode is the only one where I can guarantee it’ll stay consistent enough to get me off – except, because there’s only one (mid-level) steady speed, invariably I end up wanting more power at some point and have no way to simply turn it up. IMO all vibrators should have, at minimum, 3-5 steady speeds to choose from, especially since the majority of people prefer them over patterns.
  • Naturally, because this toy is rechargeable and not plug-in, you’re not gonna get the sheer power you’d expect from something like a Sybian. I still found it pretty impressively powerful for its size though, and surprisingly rumbly. Applying pressure and rocking back and forth didn’t seem to slow down the thrusting or tapping of the internal attachments, either.
  • Some people might have issues getting the clit stimulator to line up correctly while one of the attachments is inserted, for the same reason that all dual-stim vibes are tricky to get right: different bodies are different. However, I have a fairly wide clit-to-vag distance, and I could still get the clit stimulator to reach my clit without much difficulty; I just had to shimmy around sometimes, tilt the toy at a slightly different angle, etc. to get it positioned where I wanted it.
  • The grippy strips on the bottom of the toy don’t seem to anchor it very well if I’m only using the toy clitorally. I have to physically hold the vibe in place or else it slips ‘n’ slides all over the bed. (Once I’ve got an attachment installed in the toy and inserted inside me, though, the vibe doesn’t tend to move around much.)
  • Some of the attachment functions are loud and shrill-sounding when in use, especially the thrusting one. This tends to be par for the course for self-thrusting toys but is still worth noting.
Tapping attachment/A-spot whisperer

Final thoughts

When I agreed to review this toy from VVD, even though I barely have the space for more behemoth vibrators, it was because I had a feeling that this one might actually be good… and it is! I think the VVD Rider Desire is a thoughtfully-designed toy, ideal for anyone who likes to ride/hump/grind their way to bliss – or anyone who wants a dual-stim toy they can use hands-free, for disability reasons or otherwise.

That being said, I’m not the target audience for a rideable vibe like this one, because it necessitates a physical position that my body just can’t maintain for very long – and I found it challenging to overcome the lack of steady clitoral stimulation settings: the toy’s one steady clit stim setting feels pretty damn good, just not good enough to make me come.

But the tapping and thrusting attachments are so excellent that I’m willing to overlook these issues for an occasional session. I don’t think there’s any other toy in my collection that I can ride up and down on, and grind my clit against, while having my A-spot rhythmically tapped and massaged. It’s certainly the closest a toy’s ever come to replicating the hot moment during cowgirl-position sex where I get so lost in pleasure that I can’t even maintain my rhythm anymore, so my partner is forced to thrust up into me while I tremble atop them… 🤤

Aaaanyway… If any of this sounds good to you, maybe you’ll want to take the VVD Rider Desire for a ride, too. 😉

 

You can use the coupon code KateS20 to get $20 off your Rider Desire at checkout!

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Mr. Hankey’s Toys Captain’s Hook dildo

Kate Sloan

When I put the Captain’s Hook from Mr. Hankey’s Toys inside me for the first time, I said out loud, “Oh, this is gonna be my new favorite silicone dildo.” I think I was right. Let’s talk about why.

 

What is the Captain’s Hook, and how can it be customized?

The lovely folks at Mr. Hankey’s told me I could choose any 3 toys from their site to review (the other 2 reviews will be published in July and August, respectively, so keep an eye out for that!). Their catalogue of products is extensive, so it took me a while to pick some out – but the Captain’s Hook was a “fuck yes” as soon as I saw it.

It’s a realistic (i.e. dick-like) dildo, but with a strong upward curve not often found in human dicks. I am a fan of penises, to say the least, and this is a pretty perfect one if you’re looking for more intense G-spot or prostate stimulation than most flesh-and-blood cocks can offer.

Mr. Hankey’s products are almost all customizable, and this one is no exception. You can choose between 4 different sizes (S–XL), 4 different firmness levels, and about a zillion different colors, plus you can tell them whether or not you want a Vac-U-Lock hole in the base so you can use the toy with Vac-U-Lock-compatible harnesses, fucking machines, etc. (although the brand points out that this particular toy isn’t recommended for fucking machines because it might rotate due to being too heavy).

For my Captain’s Hook, I went with the small size, medium firmness, red color, and no Vac-U-Lock hole. (If you want some help choosing your desired firmness, check out this video the brand made. I went with the medium because I knew I wanted it to feel impactful enough on my G-spot, but didn’t want its veiny texture to feel overwhelming, as super-firm textured dildos often do for me.)

Like many other fantasy dildo companies, Mr. Hankey’s toys tend to be on the larger side – so even though I chose the “small” Captain’s Hook, it’s still one of the girthiest dildos I own, with a diameter ranging from 2″ just under the head to 2.2″ near the base. Its insertable length is about 7″.

 

My experience with the Captain’s Hook + some tips

As with any large penetrative toy, I’d recommend getting really turned on before you attempt to get this bad boy inside you. I always warmed up with a lot of clitoral stimulation, fantasy/erotica/porn, etc. when testing it. It’s like stretching before you climb a mountain – simply the sensible thing to do! Fortunately, the tapered tip of this toy makes it easier to insert than it otherwise would be, especially when drizzled liberally with a good water-based lube.

Besides comfort and safety, the other reason to warm up beforehand is sensitivity. The G-spot and prostate both swell with arousal, making them easier to access and stimulate. And hoo boy, does this toy ever stimulate my G-spot. The substantial girth, deep curve, and defined coronal ridge all come together to form a G-spot homing device – a phrase I’ve previously only used to describe the stainless steel Njoy Pure Wand. Now, don’t get me wrong, the Captain’s Hook doesn’t feel like the Pure Wand, exactly – silicone doesn’t feel like steel! – but their effects on my G-spot are similarly prone to knocking the wind out of me and making me squirt.

However, maybe the most amazing thing to me about the Captain’s Hook is that it can also hit my A-spot!! It’s rare for a toy to be good at G-spot and A-spot stimulation, because usually the pronounced curve required for G-spot stim is incompatible with comfortably sliding deeply enough to hit the A-spot. But because I chose the medium firmness, this dildo has juuust enough flexibility that it straightens out somewhat when I push it deep, so that it can stroke my A-spot when that’s what I’m craving. When I pull it back out to a shallower position, it immediately re-forms into its strongly curved shape, like it’s transforming back into G-spot mode. Fucking brilliant dildo design, if you ask me!

Thrusting hard and fast with this dildo, when I’m super turned on, is so intense that I’ve sometimes thought I could have a penetrative orgasm from it. This is particularly amazing because, like the majority of people with vulvas, I require clitoral stimulation in order to get off – so, even though I’ve still never had an orgasm from penetration alone and might never, it definitely impresses me when a dildo makes that type of climax feel within reach. Also, notably, this dildo is so stimulating internally that I don’t tend to need as much clit stim in order to get off – in one testing session, for instance, I came while my Eroscillator was on its first speed, an event so rare that I can probably count on one hand how many times it’s happened in the 12 years I’ve owned an Eroscillator. WTF!

I didn’t try the Captain’s Hook anally, because frankly my butt isn’t that accommodating or that brave, but I bet this would be a killer prostate dildo too, if the dimensions were manageable for you.

 

Chonky base alert!

Other cool things about the Captain’s Hook

I don’t tend to “ride” my dildos, but this one has a big, chunky base that would make it suitable for that type of play. It doesn’t have a suction cup, but its flat bottom and heavy base allow it to stay put relatively well during riding, at least if you’re on a flat, hard surface. The flared base also makes it harness-compatible. I imagine someone fucking me with this dildo in their harness would be a wild time.

I also gotta say, I love the red color. It’s very striking, and reminds me (fittingly) of the actual Captain Hook’s iconic red coat. I’ll show you, you cowardly crocodile!

 

Some potential drawbacks to consider

The possible “cons” of this toy are about what you’d expect: some users will find it uncomfortably large, and the veiny texture (while relatively subtle, as far as fantasy dildos go) might feel too intense for some people, especially in a hard firmness and/or with insufficient lube.

This toy is also somewhat heavy for a silicone dildo, owing in part to its hefty base. I have muscle strength issues from fibro and sometimes found that my arm would get tired when thrusting hard and fast with this dildo for a while. Switching arms helps, of course, and so does adding more lube, because the less friction there is, the less hard I have to push and pull the toy.

 

Final thoughts

I love the Captain’s Hook. There are a lot of girthy realistic dildos that I enjoy when I’m in the mood for them, but don’t think I’ve ever tried one that hits my G-spot and A-spot as relentlessly as this one. It leaves me breathless, and sometimes makes me forget my clit even exists (…for a few minutes, anyway… I’ll never actually forget about you, baby!).

While certainly this dildo wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea due to its substantial size and extreme curve, for me it’s the ideal toy when I really want to be filled up and pounded. No other realistic dildo in my collection is as deeply curved as this one; dick-like dildos tend to be enjoyable moreso for how they “fill up the hungry spot” inside me (to quote Nina Hartley), not for how they target specific spots. So to have a toy that can do both is just… *chef’s kiss*!

 

Thanks to Mr. Hankey’s Toys for sending me this product to review! This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.