A-spot

6 Big Things I’ve Learned From 6 Years of Sex Blogging

Kate Sloan

Oh wow: this blog is six years old today. That is unbelievable to me. When I started Girly Juice, I thought it’d be a fun summer project. I never envisioned it’d still be going strong years later, a major source of professional opportunities, social connections, income, and glee.

It’s been a major source of self-revelation, too. Here are six big things I’ve learned about myself, my sexuality, and my approach to relationships in the years I’ve been writing here at Girly Juice dot net…

1. I’m kinky as fuck. When I started blogging, I identified pretty squarely as vanilla. I had submissive fantasies occasionally, but figured they were just fantasies – not anything I’d want to try in real life.

However, two and a half years into writing this blog, I ended my very vanilla long-term relationship, and started exploring other avenues – at first, just in fantasy, and later, in reality. I tried things out with a couple of domly FWBs, dated some doms who helped me see in myself the submissive cutie they saw in me, and learned more about what being a “good girl” means to me.

I still suffer from “impervster syndrome” from time to time, feeling like I’m too kinky for vanilla folks and too vanilla for (some) kinky folks – but for the most part, I feel secure in my kinky identity. And I’m looking forward to exploring new kinks for a long time to come!

2. I’m non-monogamous. At the start of my blogging journey, I was in a long-term monogamous relationship, and was very happy and in love. But as time went on, I started noticing twinges of dissatisfaction. It had nothing to do with my partner – I adored him, felt blissfully supported by him, and was satisfied with our relationship in all but one dimension. Monogamous strictures made me feel owned and confined – and not in the fun, kinky ways!

Though we experimented with low levels of don’t-ask-don’t-tell non-monogamy in that relationship, it was clear that we were both compromising past our comfort levels, and that it wasn’t going to work long-term. We parted ways amicably, for this reason among others, and I started pondering what I wanted from my future relationships, vis-à-vis non-monogamy.

In the years since then, I’ve experimented with lots of different relationship structures: open relationships, hierarchical and non-hierarchical polyamory, solo poly, casual sluttiness, less-casual sluttiness. Right now, I feel like non-hierarchical poly is the best fit with my approach to dating and my interpersonal ethics. But, as with most of this stuff, I’m open to seeing how that evolves in the future.

3. A-spot stimulation makes me come a lot. I’ve written plenty about the A-spot (a.k.a. anterior fornix) over the years, after discovering – mostly through the use of sex toys – that it’s fairly key to my orgasmic process.

It’s been fun to teach various partners about this spot, and watch them light up when they figure out how to stimulate it. It’s been even more gratifying, however, to receive countless emails and tweets from people who didn’t know they liked A-spot stimulation until they read my articles about it. I never shut up about this spot because I don’t want anyone to feel like their body is broken or weird, like I used to!

4. You gotta ask for what you want. I’m great at telling other people to ask for what they want. I’m great at journaling about what I want, telling my friends what I want from my partners, and whining about how I don’t have what I want. I have historically been less great about actually asking partners for what I want.

This can be anything from “I want you to fuck me deeper and harder” to “I want you to answer my texts in a more timely manner.” Asking for things can feel embarrassingly unchill, but really, it’s the only way to get the satisfying romantic and sexual relationships you desire and deserve. I keep learning this in new ways all the time and it serves me so well when I manage to do it.

5. I prefer quality over quantity when it comes to sex and relationships.

Okay, some caveats here. First off, it’s possible to be slutty and/or dating lots of people and have all of those connections be high-quality, healthy, and wonderful. I know people who manage it. Kudos to them! Secondly, for some people, having lots of partners is their idea of a high-quality romantic/sexual life, and that’s A-OK too. If your sex life makes you happy, I applaud you and celebrate it with you!

However, I went through a “slut phase” and came out the other side realizing having a lot of romantic/sexual connections at once isn’t really a good fit for my particular brain and relationship style. Same with casual sex and one-night stands. The way those types of connections have functioned in my life, they don’t offer me the depth, support, and consistency I’ve discovered I crave. I’m suuuper glad I went through a slutty chapter of life, because it taught me a lot, but that’s not where I’m at anymore, and that’s fine!

My current poly situation looks like this: a long-distance boyfriend I talk to every day and have a super intimate relationship with; a local, casual, somewhat romantic partner I see on occasion for rope bondage and giggles; and a highly casual but still much-adored friend with benefits who I fuck about once a month. My emotional and sexual needs feel pretty well taken care of, and it’s so nice!

6. Anything can change at any time. You can develop new kinks, or lose interest in old ones. You can have a sudden, radical shift in what you want out of your relationships. You can learn new ways to orgasm, and get bored of your former failsafe methods. You can notice strong feelings for a new person, or abruptly lose interest in someone you thought you’d love forever. You can think you know what you need, and then realize you need something totally different.

I have “this too shall pass” tattooed on my inner wrists to remind me that everything is ephemeral. When you truly, deeply know and believe that, you develop a Zen-like appreciation for the good things in your life at any given time, knowing full well that they might not always be there. It sounds bleak, but it’s actually liberating – uplifting, even. There are things that bring you pleasure and joy now, and there will be more things like that in the future, and they might not always be the same things, but that’s fine. Pleasure springs eternal. Isn’t that lovely?!

What have you learned about your sexuality and approach to relationships in the past few years?

Come Learn About Vulvas and Vaginas From Me!

Kate Sloan
Illustration of the internal clitoris from Dr. Laurie Mintz’s book Becoming Cliterate.

I’ve always loved teaching. A perpetual teacher’s pet, I used to help out other students in elementary school when they had questions about math curriculum, English texts, or the inner workings of the vagina (#SexNerdLyfe!). In high school, I was a “peer tutor” for a grade-10 history class and a grade-11 improv class, dutifully taking attendance, handing out worksheets, and answering kids’ questions. After I graduated, I coached my school’s improv team for a year, running scene drills and giving notes and cheering for those kids when they performed in improv competitions; the time I spent with that team is still, to this day, one of the proudest achievements of my life.

In recent years, I’ve befriended tons of sex educators – like my friends Bex, Taylor, and Sarah, to name a few – and started to think, “Hey, maybe I could do that too!” Whenever I see a pal wax poetic about blowjobs or kink or Tinder in front of a crowd, it stirs some itchy envy in me. The owner of local sex shop The Nookie, Veronica, kept asking me every time I saw her if I planned on pitching a workshop soon, and my answer was always the same: “I can’t think of any specific topic I know enough about to teach a workshop on!”

That all changed one day on a bus ride home from Hamilton. I’d spent the morning eating breakfast with my friend Suz at a diner, encouraging her to pitch some workshops and helping her brainstorm some ideas. As I sat squeezed into a window seat on a Go bus, staring out at the galloping highway, I suddenly had an idea for a workshop I could teach. And it was a good one.

See, I’m known, in my sex blogger circle, for spreading info on little-known erogenous zones. I’m all about the A-spot, the external G-spot, and the clitoral shaft, to name but a few. Beyond just enjoying stimulation of these spots myself, I also think it’s important we talk about zones like this, so that people don’t feel broken if their enjoyment doesn’t hinge on “typical” things like the G-spot or the tip of the clitoris. Plus, sex isn’t much fun without variety, and learning about different spots can help you achieve that!

I’d long considered teaching a workshop on the A-spot alone, but I wasn’t sure there was enough material there for a full hour-long or 90-minute session. So when it suddenly occurred to me to talk about not only the A-spot but also all the other little-discussed vulvovaginal hotspots, I knew I had my workshop pitch at long last.

I spent the rest of that bus ride frantically making notes, planning and structuring my workshop-to-be. I found that I am bursting with information about these spots, and so excited to share it with curious sex nerds!

So, without further ado: if you’re in Toronto, or can get here, you should come to the debut of my new workshop, Vagic Tricks: Hidden Hotspots of the Vulva and Vagina! It’s happening at The Nookie on Wednesday, November 29th at 8PM. You can buy your ticket online for $25. I hope to see you there, and I can’t wait to teach you what I know!

Review: Standard Glass S-Curve

Kate Sloan

Never buy someone a sex toy they haven’t specifically requested. You can’t know what someone’s tastes in toys are. You can’t know what will work for someone else’s body. It’s always better to buy them a gift card, or take them shopping, and let them pick out a toy for themselves.

Unless you’re my best friend Bex, in which case you can disregard everything I just said, apparently.

During my last visit to New York, Bex presented me with a handmade S-Curve dildo by Standard Glass. “It’s your favorite shade of turquoise,” they said, “and it’ll hit your A-spot!” I was stunned. It was a gorgeous, thoughtful gift – the kind of toy I would have picked out for myself. How did I get so lucky to have a friend as good as Bex?

We were hanging out with my FWB, with whom I had a sex-date planned for the following day. “You should fuck me with this,” I chirped at him. But he’s a Responsible Adult so he just nervously eyed the hard tile floor we were standing on and said, “Please don’t drop that.” I slipped the toy back into its gift bag to appease him: “Okay, dad.”

The next night, at the hotel we’d booked, I broke out the S-Curve. “So how does this work?” my fuckpal asked, and I shrugged and said, “I don’t know! Let’s find out!” He lubed the long, smooth end of it and slid it into me, curve facing up to access my A-spot. Moans spouted from my mouth immediately. Oh, yes.

As its name suggests, the S-Curve has a gentle sloping “S” shape. Many of my favorite toys do, in fact; I definitely have a “type” when it comes to dildos. The formidable metal Njoy Eleven, the heroically G-spotty NobEssence Seduction, and my beloved Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble all have this basic shape in common. What can I say? I know what I like.

The S-Curve’s similarities to the Double Trouble are all the qualities I love about it. It’s long enough, and has a subtle enough curve, that it can get all up in my A-spot without bothering my cervix. (It can also hit my G-spot if I thrust it more shallowly, though I usually don’t.) Like another S-shaped glass toy I love, the Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon, the S-Curve’s meager 1.25″ diameter is roughly equivalent to the size of two fingers – i.e. the exact number of fingers I request and enjoy most when partners are fingerbanging me – so it hits my spot brilliantly and I can fantasize about partners fingering me to my heart’s content when I use it.

My FWB calls the S-Curve “the Double Trouble on easy mode,” and for my intents and purposes, it is. It goes for my A-spot with the same precision and deftness, but because it’s slimmer, lighter, and has that bloopy end, it’s much easier to hold onto and thrust with. If I’m craving a side order of girth with my A-spot stim, I’ll still reach for the Dub Trubz – but if all I want is targeted stimulation of one particular internal spot, it gets the job done perfectly.

All S-Curves, while handmade, are basically the same dimensions – 8″ long and 1.25″ wide. It is a glass masterpiece, a beauteous work of art. I don’t need my sex toys to be beautiful, because I don’t spend a lot of time actually looking at them while I’m using them, but it’s nonetheless nice to have something so elegant-looking on my nightstand.

Bex is still the only person on earth I would trust to choose a sex toy for me. They knocked this one out of the fuckin’ park.

 

You can buy the S-Curve at the Smitten Kitten for $120 USD!

A Year With the Double Trouble (+ Win My Favorite Toy!)

Kate Sloan

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November. I creep to the post office with a harried desperation in my step. Once there, I slink to the service counter and slide my “missed delivery” notice toward the clerk, hoping she won’t ask me what’s inside the package she fetches for me. She doesn’t. I clutch it to my chest the whole way home, protecting it from the world and the prying eyes of others, like it’s my baby. It kind of is.

imageDecember. I’m enthusing about my new toy – the Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble – to an equally new fuckbuddy. “Why don’t you marry it?!” he jibes, and I think through this scenario like it’s an actual possibility. Already, the Dub Trubz has given me more orgasms than this fuckpal has, so it seems like a decent contender for spousal consideration.

A few weeks into fucking me on the regs, my FWB’s getting frustrated that he hasn’t been able to make me come. It’s not his fault, I tell him; it takes me a while to warm up to new partners, and for them to learn what I like. “Show me how to get you off,” he texts, and I come over to his house with my Double Trouble and Tango crammed into my bag.

Post-makeouts and foreplay, I lube up my favorite side of the D-Trub – the slightly thinner, longer side – and push it inside myself. I let him grasp the other side and take the reins, but I offer a running commentary of directions to help him along: “Tilt the handle down so the tip hits my A-spot better. Move it in small in-and-out motions. A little deeper, please. Harder. Just a liiiittle faster. There. Yes. Like that. Right there.” It doesn’t take long. I fall to pieces in front of him, the Tango handily handling my clit while he strokes the DT over my spot again and again. He finally got to see me come. He’s thrilled.

imageJanuary. I masturbate constantly with my not-so-new-anymore treasure. It’s like the honeymoon phase in a relationship; I just can’t see anything wrong with it, nor do I want to. It makes me squirt, it makes me giggle, it makes me come and come and come. I take it in the bath, to fuckbuddies’ houses, to coffee-dates with friends so I can show them my fave toy. Sometimes I’m lying in bed and I catch sight of it on my nightstand, and I have to use it immediately. It’s that good.

February. Planning my first anal sex experience, I’m sexting with a handsome hookup who loves using toys on me. “Any particular toys you want me to bring?” I ask him, nervous and excited. The hotel room is booked; this is really happening.

image“It’s about what you like,” he replies. “Even if I’m having a good dick night, that’s gonna be three rounds, max, with variable stamina. But if you want to get rammed with a toy for another 20 minutes, bring that. ;)” My heart quickens and I slide the Double Trouble into the toy bag I’ve already packed well beyond its capacity.

When the moment for toy-ramming actually arrives, there are really only two choices worth considering, and they’re both on the nightstand of our hotel room. “It’s up to you,” I tell him when we’re trying to decide which one should be the one to get me off. “The Eleven is more G-spotty, and the Double Trouble is more A-spotty.”

He fingered me a little, earlier in the night, so he’s bang-on when he intuits, “It seems like you’re in an A-spot kind of mood tonight.” (This is before I realize that I’m pretty much always in an A-spot kind of mood.) He fetches my Hitachi and lubes up the dildo, and I give him my same old detailed play-by-play of how to fuck me with this blue glass behemoth. He absolutely nails it. “I wish my dick was shaped like this,” he mutters, mere minutes before making me come so hard I practically black out.

March. “Some orgasms are quick, small, and barely noticeable,” I tweet. “And some orgasms involve the Double Trouble.”

April. I have a lacklustre Tinder hookup in Minneapolis. It sates my BJ craving but doesn’t get me off – one-night stands almost never do – so I wreck myself with my Dub Trubz after the dude drives me back to where I’m staying. Once again, a damn good dildo saves the day.

May. I’m on antidepressants for the first time in my life, and suspect that they might be affecting my sexual sensitivity. During a threesome with Bex and my favorite fuckbuddy, he uses his fingers and then the Double Trouble on my A-spot, and I don’t even get close to coming. That’s when I know for sure that my orgasmic capabilities have been stunted by the medication. If that dude’s fingers can’t get me off, something is wrong; if the D-Trubz can’t get me off, something is really wrong. I quit the pills the very next day.

June. I declare on Twitter that if my vagina were a polyamorous person, the Double Trouble would be its primary partner. (Truth be told, when I’m between partners, this toy feels like it’s my primary partner.)

28796671452_838a1a04bf_oJuly. I have a new kinda-boyfriend, and my fave fuckpal is in town. I have a lot of sex. No, really, a lot of sex. And a lot of it involves the Double Trouble. It’s fascinating to observe different partners’ approaches to using it on me.

One memorable afternoon, me and my fuckbuddy are gettin’ down to business in my bedroom in an Airbnb, while Bex shoots porn in the next room. While warming me up with his fingers, he reminds me in a low, vaguely dom-y tone, “We have to be really quiet.” I nod and pull a pillow over my face as a preemptive measure. He hands me my Hitachi, then lubes the Double Trouble and pushes it into me. I thought I could be quiet. Now I’m not so sure.

When we go out for dinner, I say to Bex, “You’re gonna lock the door, right?” and without missing a beat, they reply, “Duh. There’s a Double Trouble in there.”

August. I bring my Dub Trub to Woodhull so the other sex bloggers can ooh and aah over it. They do. One afternoon, horny and socially overwhelmed, I skip a session and sneak upstairs to my hotel room for an introvert break that is also a masturbation break. I work myself up with deft precision, Tango in one hand and Double Trouble in the other. It’s quick and easy. I feel instantly better.

Later in the month, I bring a new beau back to my place, and we hook up for the first time. “I want you to show me where your A-spot is,” he whispers darkly; he’s obviously been reading my tweets. I help him find it with his fingers first, and then I arm him with the DT. He picks up the necessary skillset admirably fast. After I come, he tells me, “That was hot,” and I radiate a glowy grin.

img_3885September. I’m miserable. Heartbroken over a recent romantic rejection, bitter over a couple of nasty break-ups, and as dour and depressed as I’ve been in recent memory. My genitals feel foreign to me, and most days, masturbation is too much work to contemplate. But when I need it, the Double Trouble is there. It sleuths out my A-spot. It makes me come. I don’t have to think, or try, or fantasize. Paired with the Magic Wand or Tango, it’s nearly instant. I’m unspeakably grateful for sex toys, because they make my life a little easier when it seems very, very hard.

October. I go to Malta and Italy for two weeks. Knowing I’ll be sharing a hotel room with my mom the whole time, I give minimal thought to masturbation. At the last minute, I decide to pack my Tango and G-Spoon, just incase. They end up being indispensable to me, since travel stress makes me horny as hell – but I still wish I’d brought my Double Trouble. True, I would’ve panicked the whole time that it’d get lost or stolen somewhere in an airport or a cargo hold, but nonetheless, I miss it. It’s my go-to guy.

November. I have an impromptu threesome with a handsome friend and a pretty lady. She plays with my nipples, kisses me, and tells me how cute I am, while he fucks me with the Double Trouble. He stands by the edge of the bed so he can fully harness the strength of his quads to ram me. At one point I start to get anxious and ask him, “Are you tired? Do you want to stop?” and he all but rolls his eyes, because he knows I’m prone to insecurities about taking too long to come. “You just lie back, relax, and feel good,” he instructs me. While I’m coming hard a few minutes later, he quips, “See what happens when you trust me?” and it’s one of the hottest things I’ve ever heard.

The next morning, Suz has to go home early, so it’s just me and Handsome Pal snugglin’ naked in bed. One thing leads to another, and once again, he’s got that big chunk of blue glass buried in me. “Harder,” I pant. I want more sensation. I want it to almost hurt. I want to come so hard for him. “If I go any harder, I might impale you,” he comments, “but I think you want to be impaled.” And then he presses the DT’s tip even more insistently against my A-spot, slamming the toy in and out of me faster. My yeahs and right-theres and don’t-stops coalesce into gasps and screams. The orgasm hits me like a train. I haven’t come that hard in months.

The 20th is the one-year anniversary of the Double Trouble’s arrival in my life. I decide I want to do something to mark the occasion. I ask the many-times-aforementioned friend with benefits – the person who’s handled my D-Trubz the most, other than me – for a mini-review to include in this post, and he writes back: “Fucking a partner with the Double Trouble fulfills my fantasy of having some kind of prehensile sci-fi alien penis… Recommended!” I simultaneously laugh and get turned on, a thrilling Pavlovian response. Unf.

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I have the most exciting news for you, my loves: you can win a Double Trouble!! Last week, I reached out to SheVibe and Fucking Sculptures to ask if they’d provide a gift card that one of my readers could win and potentially put towards a DT, but both companies are fuckin’ superstars and they each generously offered an actual goddamn Double Trouble for my giveaway instead. Amazing!!

If you win one, SheVibe or Fucking Sculptures will ship you the toy for free if you live within the U.S. If you’re located elsewhere, you’ll have to pay the shipping yourself (but trust me, it’s worth it).

The giveaway goes until December 1st. I’m so so happy I get to hook up two of my lovely readers with my very favorite sex toy!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

My Favorite Toys For Brain-Melting A-Spot Orgasms

Kate Sloan

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Sometimes people ask me why I don’t do much in-person sex education work – workshops, motivational speaking, and so on – and the reason is that I don’t feel I’ve really found my “niche” yet. My oeuvre doesn’t have a central focus within the sexuality field, the way, say, JoEllen writes about sex and depression or Drew talks about sex and disability.

However, if there’s one niche topic I’m uniquely known for, it’s the A-spot. I get tweets, comments and emails from people all the time, telling me I helped them identify that strange spot deep inside them that brings them so much pleasure. The A-spot barely gets any hype compared to its shallower neighbor, the G-spot – and yet, my interactions with readers have shown me that it’s a highly erogenous zone for a lot of people. I’m happy to be a one-woman PR machine for this underrated spot if it means getting the word out and bringing more pleasure to the world!

The number-one question I get about the A-spot is, “What are the best toys for finding and stimulating it?” So I’ve put together this guide to A-spot toys, because dammit, you guys deserve terrific orgasms.

General Shape and Size Considerations

So here’s the deal. The A-spot is waaaay deep inside the vagina, right in front of the cervix. This means that, as with G-spot toys, you’re going to want something that curves forward/upward, toward your belly button – but A-spot toys need to be longer, since your G-spot’s usually about 2-3 inches past the vaginal entrance and the A-spot will typically be another 2-3 inches past that (depending on arousal level, where you are in your cycle, and how high or low your cervix is generally).

The depth of the A-spot also means it responds best to toys with a gentle or small curve, not a drastic one. G-spot toys like the Pure Wand can’t do double-duty as A-spot toys, because they curve so intensely that they can’t get deep enough inside the vagina.

Additionally, because the A-spot is tucked away in front of the pain-sensitive cervix, you’re generally gonna want something with a narrow or tapered tip that can slide up in there. A toy that’s too wide will bump into the cervix and/or stop short of the A-spot. So, even if you’re ordinarily a girth enthusiast, you’ll want to size down somewhat if you’re seeking your A-spot.

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Silicone Toys

Edited to add (Dec. 6, 2021): A lot of the toys featured in this post have since been discontinued. My updated recommendations for the best silicone A-spot toys are the Easy A (which I designed), the Uberrime Night King, and the VixSkin Bandit.

The Tantus Tsunami will hold a special place in my heart forever, because it’s the toy that first introduced me to my A-spot. It has a slight curve right at the tip, which enables it to curl up in front of my cervix without bumping it. It’s also relatively slender at the tip and thicker through the rest of the shaft, which means the rest of my girth-loving vagina doesn’t have to go unsatisfied.

I also occasionally like realistic (read: cock-like) silicone dildos for A-spot purposes. The important factors are (as stated above) sufficient length, a slight curve, and a tapered tip. My faves are the Tantus Pack ‘n’ Play #1 and VixSkin Mustang. (The Mustang is also a killer G-spot dildo, when thrusted a little more shallowly, so it gets my Multi-Talented Toy seal of approval!)

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Glass & Metal Toys

Edited to add (Dec. 6, 2021): A lot of the toys featured in this post have since been discontinued. My updated recommendations for the best glass & metal A-spot toys are the Njoy Eleven, the Crystal Delights Star Delight, and the Icicles #53.

As with most internal erogenous zones, my A-spot likes a relatively firm touch, so glass is a good material for stroking it. The Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon is one of my all-time favorite A-spot whisperers: the slight curve at its tip lets it meander past my cervix just right. If you buy a G-Spoon for this purpose, make sure to order a medium or large one, so it’ll be long enough to get deep inside you.

Fucking Sculptures also makes the Double Trouble, arguably my favorite dildo of all time. Its thinner end hits my A-spot more consistently and pleasurably than any other toy in my collection. This is something of a mystery to me, since the Dub Trubz is super girthy (Sunny Megatron calls it “Fisting Lite“) and theoretically shouldn’t be able to slide past my cervix – and yet, it unmistakably strokes the fuck out of my A-spot. Something about its shape and angle just makes it inexplicably perfect for this task – provided you, like me, can handle its size.

For a cheaper and less dicey glass option, I recommend the Icicles #53. It has a tapered, slightly tilted head that can zero in on the A-spot with ease, and it retails for under $30. While it isn’t as luxurious as Fucking Sculptures’ artisanal offerings, it is simple and gets the job done.

Positioning

It can be tricky to reach the A-spot, whether you’re doing it yourself or having a partner do it for you. I’ve recently become obsessed with the Liberator Jaz as a solution to this problem. Slide it under your hips and it’ll elevate your butt and pelvis just right – not only for A-spot exploration but also for G-spot play, PIV sex, butt stuff, or pretty much any other precarious genital maneuver. (A pillow or two can achieve a similar effect for cheaper, but Liberator products hold their shape better than pillows and just do a better job overall, so I’d recommend ’em over pillows if you can afford it.)

Similarly to G-spot play, you might find you get a better sensation if you angle the base of your dildo downward (toward your butt) so that the tip makes better contact with your spot. I find it’s easier to have a partner do this than to do it yourself – plus it’s sooooo fun when someone is fucking you with a dildo and they find the perfect spot and get all excited about your sudden moans/screams/eyes rolling back in your head. (Umm, it’s possible that A-spot stimulation turns me into Regan MacNeil.)

Other Tips

Betcha could’ve guessed I’d recommend you use lube, huh?! “MORE LUBE” is basically the battle cry of the sex educator. But seriously, it helps. The more lubrication there is inside your vag, the more room you have to move around and the more comfortable you’ll tend to be.

That said: I’d also recommend you try A-spot stimulation sans lube at least a couple times, just to see if that feels different/better for you. I tend to skip lube when I use my Double Trouble because the presence of a little friction allows it to “pull” on my vaginal walls in a way that’s really pleasing to my A-spot. (Errr, this is a difficult thing to explain in words. Just trust me, sometimes strategic dryness is a good thing.) Extra lubrication is also a known effect of A-spot play, so don’t be alarmed if you find yourself juicier than usual when touching this spot.

The cervix is like the socially awkward friend who the A-spot brings to parties and sometimes has to babysit all night. Which is a roundabout metaphorical way of saying: unfortunately, your cervix has to be in a good mood for your A-spot to have any fun. For certain people, there are times in their hormonal cycle when their cervix might dip particularly low and/or be particularly sensitive to pain, and those times might not be ideal for A-spot play. It’s okay; you’ll just appreciate the pleasures of A-spot stimulation extra hard when you can experience them again.

When using toys on my A-spot, I tend to use small in-and-out motions, rather than big sweeping thrusts or scooping/rocking motions. However, as always, your mileage may vary, and you should experiment with different modes of movement to see what feels best for you.

I highly recommend incorporating clitoral stimulation when you play with your A-spot. These two things feel excellent separately and that excellence increases exponentially when you combine them. Like many people, I can’t come without clitoral involvement, so when I say I have “A-spot orgasms,” what I really mean is that I have blended clitoral/A-spot orgasms. And they are my very favorite orgasms my body is capable of. Unf.

Finally: please don’t feel bad if, despite knowing all this stuff and trying it out, you still don’t really respond to A-spot stimulation. Like any other erogenous zone on the body, it can be amazing for some people and totally “meh” for others. You are not broken or weird if your A-spot doesn’t respond to touch, or even if you actively dislike being touched there. Pursue what actually gives you pleasure, not what’s “supposed to” give you pleasure!

 

Those of you who have discovered the wonders of the A-spot: what are your favorite toys, tools and techniques for making your spot feel good?