Balldo

Every so often, a sex toy comes along that is so unusual, so wild, so unprecedented that I feel the need to shout about it to nearly everyone I talk to.

There was the vibrating teddy bear. There was the blowjob mirror. There were the butt plug shoes. And now, there is the Balldo.

I first heard about the Balldo back in January, when a press release about it popped into my inbox. The email called the product “the first dildo that uses your balls for penetrative sex.” I laughed out loud and texted my partner about it, thinking that this product could not possibly actually do what it purported to do. I archived the email. I thought that would be the end of it.

But then I kept getting press releases about it every so often, and kept looking at photos and videos of it online, trying to understand how it worked. And I kept bringing it up in conversations with friends, like, “Can you believe the things that people in the sex toy industry come up with?!” And somehow, amid all of that, I became quite certain: I needed to try the Balldo. I just had to know: Did it work as advertised? More importantly: Was it good?

WTF is the Balldo, and how do you use it?

The Balldo is a stretchy silicone apparatus that you slip onto your (shaved, lubed) testicles. It’s essentially a dildo that you can attach to your balls, with some open sections that allow your scrotum and balls to be stimulated while it’s on. The product also comes with two “spacer rings” which serve to “make your balls rigid enough for penetration.” You can slip them over the Balldo and down to the base of your balls once the Balldo is already on, if need be.

Putting it on can be tricky, especially if you’re not used to using cock rings and other stretchy toys on your dick and/or balls. My partner is quite experienced with such things, though, being a chastity cage aficionado and cock-ring enthusiast, and it takes them about 30 seconds to a minute to get their Balldo on. But once it’s on, it stays anchored in place pretty well. We would recommend that the wearer be the person to put the Balldo on themselves, rather than having a partner put it on them, because it’s a challenging task in a delicate area – but when Matt puts their Balldo on, it’s not a painful process at all, just perhaps a bit uncomfortable for a few seconds.

Once the Balldo is on and lubed up, you’re ready to fuck your partner with your balls. You can use it to fuck someone vaginally or anally (or, I guess, orally too, although if you’re gonna do that, it’s probably easier to just lick/suck someone’s naked balls, unless the phallic shape is part of your fantasy).

What does “ballsex” feel like?

The first time my partner and I used the Balldo together, they came literally the moment their balls slid inside me. That is not an exaggeration.

They said that it felt like my cunt was squeezing the cum out of their balls, which is… quite a salient thought, for someone who has a “milking” fantasy like they do. We were in the doggie-style position and I heard their telltale orgasmic moans as their cum exploded across my back. Giggles burst out of me immediately. I had anticipated a number of different possibilities for how our first Balldo session would go, but this was not one of them. It was hot!

During that testing session as well as subsequent ones, my partner has definitely experienced the fabled “ballgasm” lauded by the toy’s inventors and testers. They’ve described it as an orgasm that feels centered in their balls, and is qualitatively quite different from penile or prostate orgasms. Depending on what position you choose, your dick might end up rubbing against your partner’s body with every thrust as well, adding further stimulation that might help push you over the edge if ball stimulation isn’t enough on its own.

From the receiving end of things, I have to say that the Balldo doesn’t feel all that impressive. It’s definitely cool that I can feel my partner’s balls in me, and I like that every little squeeze of my vaginal muscles feels highly impactful for them, but the actual dildo part of the Balldo leaves something to be desired. I wish it was a little longer and/or wider, although it’s likely there are legit physics-related reasons why it couldn’t be designed that way.

It’s unlikely I could reach orgasm while being fucked by the Balldo, because orgasm during penetrative sex is already pretty tricky/rare for me and the precarious nature of “ballsex” (as I’ll describe below) just makes that even more true. When we’ve tested it, generally my partner has gotten me off either beforehand or afterward, via oral, toys, or other means. However, the mental aspect of being fucked by a partner’s balls can be super exciting (depending on your kinks/turn-ons); orgasm is not the only indicator of whether a person enjoyed themselves, and I always do enjoy myself when we use the Balldo, because I like causing and witnessing my partners’ pleasure, even in unconventional ways.

Ease-of-use issues & things to keep in mind

Positioning is one of the trickiest aspects of using the Balldo. Both of us wish that the company’s website or the product’s instructions provided information about suggested positions. I’m sure it depends on individual anatomy to some extent, but we found that the Balldo is just too floppy and difficult to manoeuvre in many positions. Insertion seems to be easiest when the person wearing the Balldo is thrusting their balls downward into a partner’s hole, working with gravity rather than against it. The missionary and doggie-style positions can both be adapted to suit the Balldo well, but we’ve found that the best one (for us, anyway) is me at the edge of the bed and them standing in front of me on the floor. This seems to give them the best leverage and makes insertion feel easier than in other positions.

We have an ongoing issue where their balls will slip out of me if we’re not careful. It seems to help if I pull my knees closer to my chest (or even rest my feet on my partner’s shoulders) so that my vagina is angled further upward than usual. But partly, this slippage issue is just the result of the general awkwardness of trying to thrust with your balls when you’re used to thrusting with your cock. Like using a strap-on, using the Balldo requires that your thrusts take on a different centre of gravity, and you may need to practice several times before you’ll really get the hang of it.

My partner and I use condoms when we have PIV sex, but not when we use the Balldo. This is a personal decision based on our own risk tolerances, but it won’t necessarily be the right decision for everyone (and frankly, I’m not sure how one would go about having safer sex with the Balldo, if one was worried about herpes or another STI that can spread via skin contact – maybe an internal condom would work?). We both enjoy the comparative intimacy of their balls being inside me without a barrier – the softness and warmth add to the overall pleasure for both of us.

One thing I hadn’t thought much about before using the Balldo is the sheer amount of cum that can get on both of you when you use this toy. Naturally, when my partner’s balls are inside me, their dick is outside of me, and so, when they have a ballgasm, one or both of us get sprayed with their cum. This is fun and hot in some ways, but also introduces additional risk as far as STI transmission and pregnancy. I always get nervous, for example, that some of the cum will drip into my vag and knock me up. To reduce the odds of this, you could wipe up/wash off ASAP after sex (which is what we do), or you could take the extra step of wearing a condom on your dick while using the Balldo.

Aesthetics, packaging & marketing

I was delighted that Balldo sent us the purple version of their toy (which looks to me more like hot pink), as opposed to the standard grey version. My partner is nonbinary, and far too many toys for people with penises are marketed in a hyper-masculine way (more on that in a sec), so it’s nice to have a more “feminine-leaning” color option. It’s also just a fantastic shade of pink.

On the topic of gender… Balldo, like many other sex toy companies, uses a lot of unnecessarily gendered language in their marketing and product copy. So much so that, when our Balldo arrived while my partner was at work, I marked up the included press sheet to make them laugh and hopefully make them feel less othered by the product. It’s 2021, and by now, I really expect sex toy companies to know better than to assume that everyone who has balls is a man, or that all men have balls. Why go to the trouble of making a pink/purple Balldo, which could theoretically be gender-euphoric (or at least not actively dysphoric) for nonbinary and transfeminine people, if you’re not going to follow through on that inclusivity with the language you use?

The packaging in which we received our Balldo was not as nice as the reusable packaging shown on their website, but that’s not a huge deal in my view because I tend to get rid of most sex toy packaging anyway (it just takes up too much space once you own dozens+ of toys). I do wish it came with a storage bag, though, because it would be easy to misplace one or both of the spacer rings if I was transporting them loose in a purse or suitcase.

Final thoughts

Will the Balldo become a regular part of our sex life? You know, I actually think it might! Chastity play has become a significant part of my sex life with my partner, and it’s fun to experiment with various “dick substitutes” when they’re locked up, from strap-ons to fingers to the Balldo. It also fits nicely with our fantasies – among others, theirs for being “milked” and mine for having a magic pussy that makes people come uncontrollably.

I’ve just… truly never tried a toy like this, in all my years of sex toy reviewing. I am such a crotchety old sex writer sometimes, complaining about how hardly anyone does anything truly innovative in this industry anymore, and I’m impressed that the folks at Balldo managed to make something actually new. In doing so, they may even launch entirely new genres of sex, porn, and fantasies. The future has arrived!

If you already know you like having your balls stimulated, it’s quite possible you’d love the Balldo. But even if that’s not the case, I think it’s worth checking out if you and your partner(s) are sexually adventurous and driven by curiosity. Hey, even if it doesn’t work for you, at least you’ll have a great story to tell your friends!

Thanks so much to Balldo for sending me their product to review! This post was not sponsored – I was not compensated for writing it in any way, aside from receiving a free sample of the product. Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, however.