My very first sexual experiences took place in a bathtub. I’m not talking about partnered sex; that came later. No, I’m talking about my earliest forays into masturbation, before I even fully understood what masturbation was. The source of all my sexual pleasure, for a period of at least a year, was not a sex toy or even my own hand – it was the water flowing out of the bathtub faucet.
I still sometimes wonder, many years later, how this influenced the development of my sexual tastes and responses. I look back on those masturbation sessions fondly, remembering having multiple orgasms under the warm stream. But I haven’t been able to utilize this technique in several years, because my creaky old fibromyalgia-ridden body simply cannot tolerate the position required (hips scooted underneath the faucet, legs up against the wall) for long enough to feel any real pleasure.
That’s why I was so excited when a press release for the WaterSlyde showed up in my inbox.
What is the WaterSlyde and how do you use it?
The WaterSlyde is a long piece of tubular plastic with a ribbon looping through one end. It focuses water from the faucet into a slim stream, and then aims that stream directly at your genitals. Provided that it fits your faucet (it’s designed to work with most standard-sized, forward-facing ones), you can tie the toy to your bath spout with its specially-designed grippy ribbon, and you’ve got yourself the water diverter of your wettest bathtub-wank dreams.
It is way simpler than your standard sex toy, in that you can set it up in seconds, never have to charge or replace any batteries, and can use it without difficulty while traveling (so long as the place you’re going has a bathtub). At just $27 (or $35 if you’re Canadian), it gives you a lot of bang for your buck.
How easy is it to use?
Setting up the WaterSlyde really does just take a few seconds – long enough to tie the ribbon in a sturdy bow around the bath spout, turn on the water, and get into the tub. It’s a well-designed product: it stays attached to the faucet easily, barely even swaying from the unrelenting water rushing through it.
This toy has no “controls,” per se; whatever options your bathtub offers are what you’ll be able to adjust. So, if your faucet enables you to make the flow of water stronger or weaker, then you’ll be able to do that with the WaterSlyde as well, but if your tub only dispenses water at one steady speed, then that’s all you’ll get on your bits too. Of course, at the very least, you can control the temperature of the flow by adjusting the knob(s) of your tub. I suggest experimenting with different temperatures to see what works best for you; for baths in general, I tend to like hot water, but I always use lukewarm-to-warm water with the WaterSlyde because that temperature makes all the accompanying sensations more discernible to my easily-overstimulated clit.
While the WaterSlyde is marketed as a more ergonomic alternative to the standard “legs up on the wall” bathtub masturbation method, I will say that for me and my chronically achy body, using it still wasn’t as comfortable as I would’ve preferred. I had to alternate between lying down flat, propping myself up on my elbows, and sitting upright in the middle of the tub; staying in one position got uncomfortable after a while. This didn’t bother me too much, but I don’t think bathtub masturbation will ever again be my most common method, for this reason among others.
My main annoyance with the WaterSlyde is that my small bathtub fills up too quickly, and then it becomes difficult for me to stay anchored in one place so that the stream maintains contact with my clit. This means that I end up periodically draining some of the water to keep it at a manageable level, which in turn means that using this toy definitely wastes some water. But that’s kind of par for the course anyway for a toy that works by pouring water onto you.
What does it feel like?
Warm water on my clit still feels just as lovely as it always has. It’s like a skilled tongue as soft as clouds, massaging the area. (It lends itself well to being paired with oral sex fantasies, if you’re into that!)
The amount of water pressure your tub offers will make a big difference in terms of sensation while using the WaterSlyde. Mine is middling, so there does come a point in my sessions with this toy when I begin to wish I could get just slightly more stimulation to push me over the edge. It’s then that I give my clit a break, so that it will be more sensitive when I begin again a minute or two later. This slow stop-and-start technique, necessitated by the very nature of the toy, takes longer than my usual methods but can lead to extra-intense orgasms when I finally get to that point.
Aside from the controls of your tub, your own body is the only tool you have to change the sensation of the WaterSlyde. The stream of water is strongest directly underneath the end of the toy, and gets gentler as you move away, so you can “adjust the intensity” by physically moving your body. As I get closer to orgasm with this toy, I find myself beginning to rock my hips back and forth a little – just enough to create a sense of motion on my clit, rather than the comparatively static stimulation of the water stream.
One of the most striking things to me in reading other folks’ reviews of the WaterSlyde was how many of them described having mega-intense orgasms with this thing. I was skeptical, being someone who usually gets off with high-end vibrators these days. But the WaterSlyde truly delivers. It’s something about the combination of the warm water, the slow-paced build of arousal, and the relaxing environment of a warm bath. When I reach orgasm with this toy, my head falls back, my eyes fall closed, my mind goes utterly blank and the literal only thing I can think about is the water beating against my clit. This toy produces some of the most intense clitoral orgasms I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve been having clitoral orgasms for two decades so I’m pretty damn good at them.
Anything else to keep in mind?
Depending on your specific setup, the WaterSlyde might be a good option if your living situation demands discretion around masturbation/sex toys. For example, if I had smuggled this toy into the bathroom under my robe while I was still living at my parents’ house, I could have jerked off surreptitiously in the tub and no one would be the wiser. The white noise produced by running water also helps muffle any noises you might make, which I find enables me to relax and feel my feelings instead of worrying about whether anyone can hear me.
If you prefer your clitoral stimulation with a side order of penetration, that might be tricky to do with the WaterSlyde because of the positioning it requires. I personally don’t think I could use a dildo while using the WaterSlyde because I need both of my arms to prop me up in the tub. If you have any penetrative toys that stay put once inserted, like the Hole Punch Fluke vaginal plug (which I love), that might be a good solution.
The makers of the WaterSlyde posit that it’s hygienic because the water cleans your vulva during use. I suppose this is true, although frankly my vag usually gets so wet from this toy that any cleaning effects are negated and I still have to wash the area how I normally would (i.e. with a very mild, pH-balanced cleanser called DivaWash).
You might wonder if there’s a risk of water flowing into your vagina and causing problems. I don’t think this is a significant issue, mostly because you’re generally gonna be aiming the stream of water at your clit, rather than the vaginal opening. (The WaterSlyde could also be used and enjoyed by folks with penises, theoretically, though I haven’t seen any penis-possessing folks review it yet.)
Final thoughts
The WaterSlyde quite simply gives me some of the best orgasms I’ve ever had, and it only costs $27.
It’s easy to set up and easy to use. It wastes some water, but uses no batteries or power, ever. It’s travel-friendly (though not small), and if I ever go on vacation again, it’ll be wonderful to use this in some fancy hotel bathtub like I’m in an X-rated version of Pretty Woman.
Clearly this toy won’t work for everyone – it may require a bit of contortion (depending on the size of your tub), and the stimulation it offers is only as intense as the water stream it conveys.
But those orgasms. Oh, those orgasms. They’re like eating a food you haven’t had since you were a kid, and discovering it’s every bit as delicious as you remembered.
Thanks to the folks at Lovability for sending me a WaterSlyde to try! The links in this post are affiliate links, but I was not paid to write about this product and, as always, what I’ve written is what I actually think.
