boobs

Review: VVD Vkini vibrating bra

Kate Sloan
By the way, if you want to see more of my tits, here’s a photo set and a video in which they’re prominently featured. Or you could email me to commission some custom content!

How do you feel about your breasts, if you’ve got ’em?

I feel neutral-to-mildly-positive about mine, most days. I don’t feel insecure or self-conscious about them like I did when I was younger (thank fuck!), and I certainly don’t have any dysphoria about them like some of my trans and nonbinary friends have experienced – but I also don’t think about them much, and it doesn’t often occur to me to request breast/nipple stimulation during sex, even though it usually feels good when it does happen. They’re just… not a big part of my self-conception, sexually or otherwise, and never really have been.

Part of the reason for that, I’m sure, is that there aren’t very many breast-centric sex toys (relative to other types)! Maybe I’d be more “in touch with” my boobs, so to speak, if I’d reviewed tits-focused toys in equal proportion to all the clitoral and vaginal toys I’ve tried – but almost all of the breast-y products in my collection are nipple clamps, designed to provoke pain, not pleasure. Don’t get me wrong, I like nipple clamps – but I have to be in a pretty specific mood to want my tits to be tortured.

So you can see why I was intrigued when VVD, makers of the rideable vibrating “sex saddle” I reviewed last year, reached out to tell me they’d created a vibrating bra and wanted me to review it. It’s called the Vkini (cute name!). Let’s talk about it.

What is the VVD Vkini?

VVD describes the Vkini as a “wearable nipple stimulator.” Structurally, it’s similar to a very skimpy bikini top, with adjustable back and arm straps – but instead of breast cups, it’s got spring-like silicone spirals which hold your breasts in place, while the heart-shaped vibrators in the centre of each spiral stimulate your nipples.

While it can be controlled directly via the buttons on the two nipple vibrators, the Vkini also optionally pairs with an app called MetaXSire which allows you to control the toy from nearby or afar. (More on that later.)

Included with the bra itself is two pairs of magnetic attachments, one shaped like little flowers and one shaped like little mouths, complete with tiny silicone tongue. These serve to vary the sensations you can get from the toy.

Attachments

Things I like about the VVD Vkini:

  • First of all, shout-out to VVD for this concept. I genuinely think it’s cool and unique. As I mentioned above, a lot of the breast-focused sex toys on the market are pain-based – think nipple clamps, “tit-tuggers,” and bondage bras – so it’s refreshing to see an entirely pleasure-based product in this category. I think it’s clever the way the spiral-shaped cup holds each tit in place so that the vibrator more-or-less stays put on each nipple.
  • The aesthetic of this product is very up my alley, as a lovecore fanatic! It reminds me of those LoveLife vibrators from back in the day, which I once found too girly-looking but have since come around on, because our world is so full of hatred and division that symbols of love seem more important and subversive than ever. The spirals embedded in this toy’s design also lend it a certain hypnokinky aesthetic; I think it would be particularly adored by those whose hypnosis kink crosses over into ‘bimbo’ play, like my pal Sleepingirl. (Actually… Sleepingirl, if you’re reading this and want me to send you this toy once I’m done with my review, let me know – it should belong to someone like you! 😂)
  • If you control the toy’s vibrations via its buttons, you can flip through 5 speeds and 5 patterns, which is a decent amount of variety. And unlike with most genital vibrators, I found myself actually enjoying the vibration patterns this toy has, because their rhythmic variation feels more like the type of nipple stimulation I like (having them stroked or licked) than standard vibration does. I also like that each nipple vibe can be controlled independently, as this allows for more variety of sensation.
  • If you want even more variation in the vibration intensity, you can download the MetaXSire app on your phone and control it that way. It has many of the functions I’ve come to expect from vibrator apps these days: long-distance control, syncing to music/sound, motion-sensor control, and the ability to try other people’s custom-designed vibration patterns and create some of your own. (Like many other vibrator apps, this one seems to borrow heavily from Lovense’s app in terms of design and functionality, and I don’t love when companies copy other companies, although I have to admit that Lovense has a damn good app so I understand why so many people crib from them.)
  • VVD claims proudly that the Vkini is “crafted for women of all shapes and sizes” (no love for nonbinary people…?!) but then also says it will only comfortably fit “small to medium chest sizes (A-C cups, some D cups).” That being said, my current bra size is approximately 30DD, and the Vkini fit me just fine after adjusting the straps, albeit with a bit of cup-runneth-over. My wife has much smaller breasts (an A cup or thereabouts) and it fit her too – and looked super cute, I might add! However, VVD is right that the Vkini isn’t entirely suitable for people with larger breasts than a D cup, as Sydney Screams describes in their review. Even if your boobs are small, having a wide chest may make it difficult to wear this product, because the length of the short strap between the two cups is barely adjustable.
  • The Vkini is IPX6 water-resistant, so you can use it in the shower (or in the rain… or in a waterfall… hey, I don’t know your life!) but you shouldn’t submerge it in a tub, pool, etc. Normally I prefer my sex toys to be fully waterproof so I can jerk off in the bath if I want to, but it matters less to me for a breast-focused toy because my boobs are usually above the waterline anyway.
  • I appreciate that this toy is priced at $50 (that’s cheaper than many actual bras!), and I think that’s a decent price for what you get: the vibrating bra itself, two sets of attachments, and a storage bag for the whole kit and caboodle.
  • Speaking of the attachments – while I have my issues with them (see below), I like that they’re easy and quick to magnetically attach and detach, and I haven’t had any issues with them falling off or moving around during use.

Things I don’t like about the VVD Vkini:

  • Unfortunately, the vibrations are pretty buzzy, i.e. high-pitched/surface-level, as opposed to deep/rumbly. This doesn’t bother me as much for nipple stim as it does for clit stim, since at least I can still get off if my nipples go numb (by stimulating my clit, as I normally would) – but it does make it hard for me to use this toy for more than 5-10 minutes at a time, after which the buzzy vibrations feel annoying, itchy, and desensitizing to my skin. (I will say, however, that these vibrations are rumblier than those of Lovense’s vibrating nipple clamps, which are so troublingly buzzy that they sometimes felt almost like heart palpitations to me – scary!)
  • On a similar note: the vibrations seem to be focused in the outer-facing part of the bra, not the part that actually touches your nipples. When I tried out the Vkini’s magnetic attachments, I found that very little of the vibration was conducted into them; the sensation was significantly dulled compared to using the toy without attachments. As a result, I wasn’t able to notice much of a difference in sensation when using an attachment vs. not using one, aside from the reduction in vibration strength.
  • It’s mildly annoying that each of the toy’s two motors has to be turned on and off individually and charged individually – although the toy does come with a double-pronged charger to make this more convenient, and many of the modes in the MetaXSire app allow you to control both vibes at once, after you’ve turned them both on.
  • Speaking of the MetaXSire app – it has a bunch of weird A.I.-porn functionalities built into it, which you have to pay extra for, in the form of “X-Coins” which can then be spent on things like A.I. image generation and text generation. There’s even a feature where you can clone your own voice (😬) and have it say whatever dirty talk you type in. Weirder still, there’s a bank of pre-existing A.I. voices that can talk dirty to you, including celebrity voices such as Matthew McConaughey, Lady Gaga, Anthony Hopkins, Demi Lovato, and… “King Trumpy,” a.k.a. the authoritarian sex-pest currently in the White House (YIKES!!). All of this feels unnecessary and off-putting, for reasons that myself and various anti-A.I. thinkers have previously articulated.
  • While the wearability and Bluetooth-controllability of the Vkini might lead you to believe it’d be a good toy for surreptitious public play, I think it would be EXTREMELY obvious under pretty much any kind of clothing. I’d wear it to a fetish party, maybe, but certainly not to the bank or the grocery store, etc.!

Final thoughts

If you’ve been looking for an easy, hands-free way to experience nipple vibration, I think the VVD Vkini would be an awesome choice for you, provided your boobs are within the A–D cup range. It’s a super inventive (not to mention cute-as-fuck!) product for targeted nipple stimulation.

Personally, I’d prefer if the vibrations were quite a bit rumblier, and transmitted better into my actual nipples instead of just buzzing dully on the surface of my skin. But this is the type of toy that’s probably best as a deliciously torturous tease, rather than a grand finale, so maybe it’s okay that it doesn’t entirely satisfy 😉 I especially think a toy like the Vkini would be fun for people who like long-distance teasing, since you can control the vibrations from afar using the app. Just imagine trying to carry on a normal conversation with someone while they intermittently surprise you with little buzzes, Hysterical Literature-style!

If you’re considering picking up a Vkini of your own, you can use my discount code GIRLY at checkout to get $5 off, which brings the price down to $45. That’s less than you’d spend on a new bra at Victoria’s Secret, and those don’t even vibrate. 😂

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Self-Isolating and Bored? Here’s 15 Pieces of Media to Entertain You…

Kate Sloan

Dear friends: This is a hard time. I’m proud of you for wherever you’re at, whether you can’t stop crying in bed or you’re doing pretty okay actually (or something else entirely). Whatever reaction you’re having is valid – as long as you’re not one of those “This virus is cleansing the planet!!” ecofascists or a “But people should still pay their rent somehow!!” capitalist.

My friend JoEllen recently published a list of “comfort media” to consume in These Trying Times. I wanted to do something similar, although I will say that not all of these works are necessarily comforting. Some of them are just cathartic, or absorbing, or all of the above. When I’m sad or anxious, sometimes I don’t want to turn away from those feelings – sometimes I want to walk right into them, revel in them, exorcize them from my body.

In that spirit, here are 15 pieces of media, across various genres and formats, that I think you might find helpful right now in one way or another. (A note: all the links to books in this post go to the Powell’s website. Powell’s is a great indie bookstore that you should absolutely support in these tough times if you can, instead of lining Bezos’s already-overstuffed pockets.)

Stephen King, it must be said, is a problematic fave. However, he has written some of the best apocalyptic fiction in the biz. I often find it useful to focus on his terrifying stories in times that are, themselves, also terrifying – because, I reason, I may be having a tough time but at least I’m not handcuffed to a dead man’s bed (Gerald’s Game) or running away from my axe-wielding husband (The Shining).

There are three King novels that feel particularly salient to me in These Times, and they are as follows. Under the Dome is one of my all-time favorite books – it’s a hefty 1,000 pages but the pace is snappy enough to make that seem reasonable, as is often the case with King. In this story, an invisible but impenetrable “dome” descends on a small town in Maine called Chester’s Mill, cutting off its residents from the outside world and plunging the population into a panic. You’ll see familiar moments in this story – grocery store riots, lying politicians – but also moments of hope, triumph, and the goodness of humanity. (P.S. If you like audio formats, you honestly owe it to yourself to read Under the Dome as an audiobook – it’s read by the ever-wonderful Raúl Esparza and is beyond compare in its genre, IMO.)

The King novel most prescient of our current situation is, of course, The Stand, his epic novel about a flu strain engineered by the army as a biological weapon which then gets leaked into the world by accident. It quickly infects and kills over 99% of Earth’s population, and the survivors are left to cobble together some semblance of a new society in the wreckage. There’s lots of good stuff in here about friendship, grit, and goodness – all balanced with plenty of that signature King darkness and evil. This book shows a version of pandemic response that’s far more drastic than anything our world will likely face due to COVID-19, so it’s escapist in the sense that it allows you to think, “Well, things are bad, but at least they’re not this bad.”

I also gotta shout out my favorite lesser-known King novel, the relatively recent Sleeping Beauties, which he co-wrote with his son Owen. This one’s also about an apocalyptic scenario of sorts: all the women on Earth start contracting a mysterious illness where, when they fall asleep, they essentially go into a coma and cannot be awakened. Hilariously, we then get to see what happens when the men of the world are left to fend for themselves. Chaos ensues, obviously. This one isn’t as well-reviewed as some other King novels, but I wonder how much of that is due to its vaguely feminist themes!

If you like podcasts and/or roleplaying games and haven’t yet dove into the amazingness that is The Adventure Zone, you’re in for a treat. It’s my favorite podcast of all time – maybe even my favorite piece of narrative media ever? It has made me laugh and cry more than any other podcast, certainly.

TAZ is the three McElroy brothers (of My Brother, My Brother and Me and Polygon fame) playing tabletop RPGs with their dad. The first campaign, Balance, follows a flamboyant wizard named Taako, a wholesome carpenter named Magnus, and a goofy cleric named Merle as they work to collect 7 dangerous relics from all over their magical world. Start with episode 1; after that, there’s still SEVENTY-SIX more episodes for you to listen to in the first campaign alone. (Yeah, it’s a hugely epic story.) One of the later campaigns, Amnesty, is also a gorgeous blend of comedy, camaraderie, and magical realism.

While we’re talking about immersive fantasy podcasts: have you heard of Hello from the Magic Tavern? It’s an almost entirely improvised narrative fiction podcast about a guy named Arnie who accidentally falls through a magic portal into a faraway fantasy land called Foon. Looking to understand the planet he’s landed on, Arnie sets up his podcast recording equipment at a nearby tavern and begins weekly interviews with various guests from around Foon – swordsmen, shopkeeps, goblins, and royalty – all while backed up by his two faithful cohosts, a self-aggrandizing wizard named Usidore and a horny shapeshifter called Chunt. Start with episode 1 and get lost in Foon – it definitely seems better than Earth right now!

Brilliant comedian and musician Lane Moore wrote a book called How to Be Alone which feels particularly needed at this time. It’s full of thoughts about anxiety, attachment, and the longing for intimacy, but its tone is ultimately hopeful – by the time I finished this book, I felt much better about the idea that I might not always have a partner, or tons of close friends, and that might be okay. If you’re struggling with feelings of loneliness and isolation, pick this one up; reading it is like having a profound chat with a good, smart pal.

Lane is also doing a nightly Twitch show (last I checked, anyway) at 8 p.m. Eastern time, also called How to Be Alone, that you can watch right here. She describes it as being like Pee-Wee’s Playhouse for lonely adults – and don’t we all need that right now?!

Looking for something uplifting to read? You really can’t do much better than Alexandra Franzen’s You’re Going to Survive, for which she interviewed professionals across multiple fields (cuisine! music! fashion! non-profits!) about the hardest moments of their careers and how they got to the other side. I’ve never seen a more striking illustration of the notion that “this too shall pass,” always.

If you’re less about distraction and more the type of person who likes to dive directly into your feelings and face them head-on, I highly recommend the movie Contagion (2011), a fast-paced thriller about a high-mortality virus that originates in bats and pigs and quickly spreads around the world. It’s topping the charts right now on streaming sites and whatnot; evidently a lot of people are turning to it, for one reason or another.

The main thing I found comforting about this film is that the scientific and medical professionals in it are incredibly competent and smart (and are, notably, mostly women). The science presented in the movie was thoroughly researched and the moviemakers consulted professionals in the relevant fields, so one could even say Contagion is educational. On an emotional level, watching the brilliantly-acted suffering of mb Damon’s character – who (mild spoilers here) loses his wife and son within the first few minutes of the movie – is cathartic in the most ineffable of ways. He is us and we are him. Hang in there, mb Damon.

If you like fanfiction – and even if you don’t – the novel-length Sherlock stories written by Katie Forsythe (a.k.a. Wordstrings) are worth looking into. She’s a brilliant writer who explores themes of mental illness through the familiar characters of the Holmes universe. I find it’s very hard to worry about my own problems (or even my own planet’s problems) when I’m tracking Sherlock and John’s journeys through crime scenes, drug hazes, and sexual tension.

All the Best and Brightest Creatures might be my fave. An asexual (but not sex-repulsed) Sherlock gets together with a bewildered-yet-horny John, all while they try to solve mysteries set in place by one Jim Moriarty. I’m not sure I’ve ever read a fanfic story so gripping. And conveniently, Archive of Our Own lets you export fanfic in formats that’ll work on your e-reader, so you can lounge in bed or in the tub with Sherlock and John to keep you company.

It’s all too easy to fall into a YouTube rabbit hole these days, consuming news videos and conspiracy videos galore about the current situation. But why not make your YouTube gallivanting into a more pleasant, educational, and uplifting endeavor? I can’t recommend Philosophy Tube highly enough – it’s a campy-yet-esoteric video series in which the dazzling Olly Thorn presents his ideas on topics as wide-ranging as sex work, witchcraft, and Jordan Peterson. He takes an honest look at the world as it is, and theorizes on ways it could be better, kinder, stronger. His videos are also plenty theatrical and silly at times – this isn’t some dry philosophy lecture!

While I’m talking about YouTube, I would be remiss not to mention the Bon Appetit channel, which is basically porn if you enjoy food, competence, and kindness. Our mess of a planet kind of fades into the background while you’re watching, for example, Claire Saffitz trying to make KitKat bars from scratch, or Amiel Stanek sampling every way to cook an egg. I wish the channel would start putting out videos of the BA chefs making quarantine-appropriate dishes from their own separate homes!

If you are a video game person, you’ve probably already been turning to your games of choice for entertainment and comfort. But if you’re looking for recommendations specific to this moment, I’ve gotta say that the immersive, competitive, and plot-driven nature of the Pokémon games has made them invaluable to me through all of this. You add “pocket monsters” to your team, train them, and battle with them, all while traversing strange lands and meeting interesting people. I would suggest starting with HeartGold or SoulSilver if you’re new to the series – they’re both fairly accessible and they also take longer to get through than most (if not all) of the other main-series games. If visuals are important to you, the X/Y and Sun/Moon versions look much nicer, though they are definitely less challenging than previous iterations.

There’s also the game everyone is talking about right now, Animal Crossing. A new version is out for the Switch but I’m also quite partial to the 3DS version, New Leaf. Animal Crossing is essentially the Seinfeld of games, in that it’s a game about nothing: you have a house in a small idyllic town, and you can make friends with your neighbors, decorate your home, go fishing, buy cute clothes, and just generally lead a low-stakes fantasy existence. If you need a whole other life to distract you from your real life, Animal Crossing is definitely a good option.

Along similar lines, it’s very easy to get absorbed in any Harvest Moon game. The focus of these is farming, which doesn’t seem like it would be that interesting – and indeed, sometimes isn’t – but it has clear goals, and sometimes you need that. You can also befriend (and even marry) other villagers, mine for valuable ores, upgrade your home, take care of livestock, and cook from recipes. My favorite in the series is the very simple and straightforward Friends of Mineral Town.

What media are you turning to these days?

Sharing the Sexy #9

Kate Sloan

• A study was done to determine average penis size by country.

• Would you buy alcohol that gets poured over a model’s naked tits as part of the production process?

• Looks like Tokyo is opening a bar devoted to female masturbation. You can buy vibrators over the counter and discuss your solo sex life with fellow bar-goers. Would you go?

• I had never heard of figging before this week, but it’s such an interesting BDSM practice!

• This month, the more boob videos you view, the more money PornHub will donate to breast cancer research!

I Have Small Boob Privilege

Kate Sloan

Today I was sitting around in the basement of the place where I volunteer, and some of the folks there were having a conversation about the plight of having big breasts. While internally rehashing my own insecurities about having small-ish boobs (technically 32D when measured properly, though they are more like the conventional perception of B cups), I listened to these women lamenting their sore backs, their limited clothing options. One of them said, “I wish I was one of those women who can just get up and go to work without putting on a bra,” and I realized – I am one of those women.

I can get away with not wearing a bra, and I almost always do. I never experience back pain from the weight of my breasts. I can run up and down stairs braless without incident (though I prefer to hold them against my chest when I do this). I can have cleavage when I want to, and can make it disappear when I want to. I know how to make myself look like a busty vixen or a practically flat-chested teenager, just by changing my clothing and undergarments.

I have to acknowledge to myself that this is a huge privilege I’ve been blessed with. My curvaceous lower body has often made me ache for bigger boobs, to balance me out and make me into a classic hourglass. I’ve never really considered the possibility that being smaller on top is more versatile and spares me from various possible health problems.

I guess my point is, there ain’t no shame in boobs, no matter what size they are. Being small and being big both have their privileges and their drawbacks, and if we understand that, maybe we’ll stop being jealous of other women for they way their racks stack up.

Tittyfucking for Small-Breasted Ladies: A Primer

Kate Sloan

I have small tits. No pity, please – I’m okay with it. I used to resent the way they failed to match up with my wide hips, rendering my figure imbalanced and pear-shaped – but I’ve grown to love my itty bitties.

There are, however, a few drawbacks to having smaller bazungas. You get fewer honks in the street (arguably not such a huge loss). You can never dress up as Joan Holloway for Hallowe’en. And, perhaps most importantly, you can’t be properly tittyfucked.

Or can you?

Having just wrapped up a tittyfucking session with my man, it struck me that I should write out a few tips for any minuscule-busted women who still want some penis-to-chest action.

1. Warm him up first. As any even remotely sexually experimental person knows, more arousal = more sensitivity. Try getting him riled up without touching his penis at all – make out with him, kiss his neck, play with his nipples, nibble his thighs… Whatever gets your man going, do it until he’s writhing and moaning for more.

2. Use lube. I would still use lube for this activity even if I had huge tits, because, well, chests don’t self-lubricate. As a general rule, lube improves any sexual activity – so if you have trouble with a particular act, throw some lube into the mix and see if it doesn’t help.

3. Hold your boobs together. Again, I’m sure this is something big-breasted women have to do as well, but it’s especially important if you’re less well-endowed. Gather ‘em up in your hands and use the heels of your palms to push them together around his cock.

4. Use your hands, too. If you’re using your palms to handle your breasts, as I just recommended, then your fingers are free to settle on top of his dick and do some stimulatin’. For example, my man likes pressure right at the base of his cock, so I can administer that with some of my fingers while using the rest to rub and stroke while he pumps away. It provides a little something extra that he loves.

5. Use your verbal and visual talents. Give him something to look at (a sexy gaze, a genuine smile) and something to listen to (dirty talk, moans, what have you). A very basic, but highly effective piece of pillow talk might be something like, “I can’t wait for you to come all over me.”

6. Have a backup plan. Let’s be real here: in our world of circumcised cocks and death grip syndrome, not every guy is going to be sensitive enough to reach orgasm from fucking a pair of teensy tits. It’s no biggie (pun intended!) – just make sure you know what to do next if your plan isn’t working out. You could jerk him off into your mouth, suck him off, or even push him back on the bed and climb on top for some cowgirl action. Whatever it is, don’t feel bad – just because something doesn’t induce an orgasm doesn’t mean it didn’t feel amazing.