chastity

12 Days of Girly Juice 2020: 5 Sex-Savvy Superheroes

Kate Sloan
tfw you’re stuck inside most of the year because of COVID but you still wanna stay up-to-date on the latest sex news

Each December I write about 5 people whose teachings on sexuality were significant to me throughout the year. Since in-person workshops and conferences weren’t available to us for most of the year, sex education looked different for me in 2020 – most of it happened while reading books or blogs. However, I still feel like I learned a lot more about sexuality this year, including deepening my understanding of my own sexuality. Here are the 5 people whose expertise most impressed and uplifted me in 2020…

Angela Chen

I already wrote about Angela Chen’s brilliant book Ace in a previous 12DoGJ instalment, but it bears repeating: this is one of the best books in existence about asexuality. I know it will change many lives. In fact, I’m sure it already has.

In addition to being an outstanding author, Angela is a reporter who covers asexuality, technology, and health. Her essays on subjects like “curing” desire, discovering one’s own asexuality, and the overrepresentation of alloromanticism in fiction are full of ideas that challenge the status quo, both out in the world and within your own mind. She is consistently brave enough to question societal norms and eloquent enough to make me shout, “How can anyone write this well?!” I love everything I’ve seen from her body of work and can’t wait to see what she does next.

Velvet Veronica

2020 was the year that I discovered possibly the best handjob-giver on the planet, Velvet Veronica. Granted, I don’t have a penis so it’s hard to assess that for certain, but my partner does, and attests that Veronica’s skills are unmatched (or at least, they appear to be!).

Though she bills herself as a “soft femdom” porn creator, her style of dominance can actually be wonderfully strict and mean. Her videos show her “torturing” her submissive (whom she calls “pet”) with vibrators, chastity, edging, denial, post-orgasmic overstimulation, and much more. Though I enjoy her work very much on a purely entertainment-based level (what can I say, I appreciate a great HJ!), I also think her videos are remarkably educational for anyone looking to explore dominance. She never shows her face – or the mysterious thigh tattoo she covers up with a garter in every scene for anonymity reasons – but she doesn’t need to, because her power is all about her voice, her presence, and those magic hands.

Ana Valens

I don’t remember how I first became Twitter mutuals with Ana Valens, but I’m so glad I did. She’s the NSFW reporter for the Daily Dot, where she covers everything from gender-affirming sex toys to the healing power of BDSM to transphobia in video games. She’s also a delight to listen to on podcasts, whether she’s talking about social etiquette on my show Question Box or sex work stigma on Canadaland.

The more that internet discourse becomes a tug of war between the right and the left, between “cancel culture” and “free speech,” between “fake news” and true facts, the more I respect and admire journalists of marginalized identities who manage to do brilliant work despite all the pressures they face. Ana’s reporting is always incisive, with a side of humor and whimsy. Her writing makes me feel optimistic about sex journalism again in a way I don’t often feel anymore. She’s a must-read, in 2020 and beyond. (Oh, and she also makes porn.)

Denying Thumper

One thing my spouse Matt and I have in common: when we become interested in a new kink, we research the hell out of it. That’s how they stumbled upon Denying Thumper, who’s been blogging about his adventures in long-term chastity for several years.

As a sex educator, I often tell people who want to introduce their partner to a new kink of theirs that it’s important to be specific. Just because you’ve seen 800 videos about your fetish doesn’t mean that your partner has the slightest clue how to put it into action in a way you’ll enjoy. This is why I’ve found chastity blogs like Denying Thumper so useful as Matt and I have been exploring chastity together: they give me a model of what to do, what not to do, and even how to think about the kink in question. It helps enormously that Thumper is a cogent, witty writer with a clearly bottomless passion for chastity. Sex bloggers fucking rule, man.

My therapist

As I told you earlier in the year, I was lucky enough in mid-2020 to find a therapist who was not only accepting new clients (only over the phone – this is a pandemic year, after all!) but who also happened to be clued-in about kink, non-monogamy, LGBTQ+ issues, and trauma – all important puzzle pieces of my psyche. My therapist herself (who uses both she/her and they/them pronouns) has experience in these areas both personally and professionally, and they have been a total godsend for me this year.

Good therapists, who don’t stigmatize their clients’ natural and healthy inclinations but instead push them to explore their desires free from self-judgment or self-hatred, are so necessary in this world. I end every call with my therapist breathing a sigh of relief, feeling less frazzled, less broken, and less alone. I doubt they’ll ever read this (that would probably be ethically weird), but they helped me get through 2020, and I’m so grateful.

 

Who were your sex-savvy superheroes this year?

12 Days of Girly Juice 2020: 7 Bangin’ Selfies

Kate Sloan

Every December, I write about some of the most significant selfies I took throughout the year. Despite the fact that I spent most of 2020 sitting on my couch in my pajamas (anyone else?!), I nonetheless managed to take many photos of special moments with special people. Here are 7 of my faves!

January 13th

This was taken while Bex and I were on a work trip to Burbank, California. We had been provisionally hired to helm a sex magazine which never ended up happening (thanks, COVID) and had to spend a couple days chatting with fellow sex-industry professionals at ANME and learning about the latest innovations in the sex toy field.

They have legal weed over there, so we got a little silly. I snapped this selfie on our way back into our hotel after a smoke break in the parking lot; I had gotten wayyy too high on that legendarily strong California kush, and my childlike glee started to break through the veneer of polished adulthood we’d had to project all day at the tradeshow. Bex, sensing my over-intoxication, helped me plan my next steps, and when we got back to our room, he encouraged me to get into a hot bath and call my partner so they could take care of me over the phone.

I love this picture because it captures so much of what I love most about my friendship with Bex: our ability to make each other howl with laughter. It’s the reason our podcast has remained so fun to do all these years, and it’s one of the things I missed most about my normal, pre-pandemic social life while everything was up in the air this year.

January 17th

It’s still so wild to me that I wrote a book. It’s not coming out until September 2021, but at this point it’s been so long since I actually wrote the thing that sometimes I forget what my daily routine was like during that process. My calendar archives make it very clear, however, that I was surprisingly disciplined and productive for a chronically fatigued person, generally writing 2 short chapters every weekday for about 3 months. I’m proud of myself!

This photo was taken the night of my official book deadline. I’d submitted the completed manuscript a couple days earlier, because I have way too much anxiety to leave things like that to the last minute, but it still felt like a momentous day. My partner and my friends encouraged me to get dressed up and go out for a solo date to celebrate. I put on one of my favorite dresses and a full face of pretty makeup, and walked down to the Fairmont Royal York hotel, which contains the Library Bar, an ornate and auspicious salon filled with good books and excellent cocktails. It’s the same place Matt and I went when I ceremonially signed my book contract and had some celebratory drinks, so it made sense to return there when the book was finished, albeit by myself.

I have a lot of trouble acknowledging and celebrating my own achievements, even big ones. Part of me always believes I didn’t quite earn them, or that something will go disastrously wrong and I’ll embarrass myself somehow if I actually take ownership of what I’ve achieved. But it felt good to sip a dirty martini by myself and write in my journal about how proud I was to have written a whole goddamn book.

February 22nd

Doing shrooms for the first time was one of the oddest things I did all year. I took them (in tea form) in the early afternoon, and what followed was basically a full day of laughing, crying, dancing, marching, hallucinating, joking, and singing. Fortunately my trip-sitter and friend Brent willingly put up with all of it.

I think I took this selfie when Brent had stepped out of the room for a few minutes. His presence had been an anchor to my floaty mind, and I’d gotten mildly panicky every previous time he’d tried to step out, so this time I picked up my phone (even though my phone had been unofficially off-limits to me all day because of the loopy things I might tweet) and texted my partner so I could make it through the duration until Brent got back. But in classic “me” fashion, I also needed to take a selfie.

This picture really captures the childlike giddiness I felt for much of my shrooms trip. While I didn’t necessarily have any of the “epiphanies” many people report from psychedelics, the experience did lead me to reflect on the artifice and malleability of (some aspects of) identity – and truth be told, I like the part of me that’s silly and happy-go-lucky, whether she shows up in an age-play scene or during a shrooms trip. This photo shows a side of me I sometimes ignore or repress, but I’d probably be much happier if I let her out to play more often, like I did on that day.

March 8th

This picture is important to me because it was taken at the last big event I went to before the coronavirus shut everything down.

My mom and I went for dinner at Insomnia – y’all, I miss their kale salad with grilled chicken so much that my stomach made excited anticipatory noises as I was writing this sentence – and then we walked across the street to the Bloor Cinema, where Drunk Feminist Films was holding a screening of Cats. I had thus far avoided seeing Cats even though everyone was saying it was the most outrageously goodbad movie in decades, but I knew Drunk Feminist Films would be the best possible setting in which to see it, and I was right.

As far as “last major outings before a global pandemic” go, this one was pretty excellent. I was wearing pink sequinned cat ears. I was quite tipsy. I was with my mom, who I love and who makes me laugh a lot. There were whispers about “that coronavirus thing” but I wasn’t all that concerned yet. And I got to scream at the screen, along with hundreds of other raucous feminists, about Judi Dench breaking the fourth wall and Ian McKellen drinking milk from a bowl. I have a few coronavirus-related regrets from this year, but attending that screening of Cats is not one of them.

June 20th

After months of staying at home, the case numbers finally started to decrease to a level where I felt comfortable visiting my family, who had also remained at home except for essential trips to the grocery store or pharmacy. My mom picked up Matt and me and drove us to her house, where we drank martinis in the back yard with my mom and brother, told stories, and joked around.

I know I’m not alone in feeling that this year really emphasized the importance of family and togetherness (to the extent that such things are possible and enjoyable for you – I know not everyone is lucky enough to have a family they like, who likes them back). You can see in my face in this photo that this was no ordinary “sitting around drinking and chatting” kind of night – this was special, even though the tone was casual. I was so glad to finally get to see these people again who had seemed hundreds of miles away even when they were just across the city from me.

September 15th

This photo represents two of the major kinks Matt and I played with together this year: chastity and financial domination. While they were locked up in chastity, we decided it would be fun to do one of our long-distance “phone dates” – wherein we each go to a restaurant or bar in our respective cities and talk on the phone throughout – but for them to foot the bill for the entire evening, because sometimes it turns them on to spoil me.

I put on the set of blue Agent Provocateur lingerie Matt had bought me as an earlier financial domination task, and added (of course) the necklace on which I keep my key to their chastity cage. On top of that, I wore a blue dress and a yellow cardigan, and walked to a restaurant Matt had chosen for me in swanky Yorkville called Sassafraz. (I sat outdoors, away from other guests; me and the staff had masks on whenever possible; there was ample hand sanitizer available; etc. etc.) We chatted on the phone during dinner, and they paid for my whole meal and my Uber ride back home.

I like this photo because I look powerful in it, even though you can’t see my face. Being dominant doesn’t come naturally to me, but this year I’ve enjoyed finding new ways my dominance can manifest, and how those newer routes can help me access different sides of my dominance that feel authentic and restorative. Here’s to more kinky adventures in 2021 (hopefully also in gorgeous lingerie)!

November 14th

A wedding-day selfie was a necessary inclusion in this post, of course!

As I explained on a recent Dildorks episode about weddings, although it’s common for couples to avoid seeing each other before the event so as to preserve the surprise, Matt and I decided not to do it that way for our tiny COVID wedding. It just made more sense for us to both get ready at their apartment and then walk over to the wedding location together.

I had thought this might feel disappointing when we actually did it, but it was totally fine, and even kinda fun. On such a potentially nervewracking day, it was nice to be with the person who alleviates my nerves most skilfully – and also to share in our excitement together.

We took this selfie just before heading out to Madison Square Park to get married. We look happy, calm, and excited to continue our lives together. ❤️

 

In the comments, feel free to tell me about a favorite selfie you took this year, and what made it so special!

Using the Bestvibe Mermaid As a Chastity Device

Kate Sloan

A key skill to develop when you’re a sex toy reviewer is turning bad toys into useable products. Almost every sex toy has more than one possible way of using it (and if it doesn’t, it had better be damn good at the one thing it does do), and finding offbeat ways to repurpose sex toys for pleasure is always, at the very least, interesting.

The most common manifestation of this in my sex life has been shitty vibrators with good shapes. Some vibes – like the original Lelo Mona and Mona Wave – have a shape so good that it transcends their disappointing motor. If a toy is curved just right to hit your spots, you may not even need to turn on the vibrations to enjoy it (albeit perhaps while paired with another toy).

And so it is with the Bestvibe Mermaid (my shortened version of the full title as per the product page, “Tongue Mermaid Remote Sex Toys 9 Modes Wearable Vibrators”). When I unplugged it from its first charging session and turned it on, I sighed and said aloud, “Oh nooo,” because the motor is wildly, offensively buzzy. “I can’t use this,” I thought. But then I examined its shape again and thought… Wait. Yes I can.

I’ve been delving into chastity play with my partner as of late – listen to this recent Dildorks episode for more on that – and in talking about this online, I’ve received a slew of questions from readers/listeners/friends. One of the most common questions I’ve gotten is “Do you know anything about chastity for vulvas?” My partner, an intrepid researcher as ever, suggests the chastity belts made by Neosteel and Fancy Steel, but unfortunately, good-quality products in this category tend to be prohibitively expensive. It’s no wonder some vulva-owning chastity kinksters turn to makeshift options like leather belts and Scotch tape (!!) in lieu of shelling out for a specially-made device.

The terrifying tongues of the Mermaid

Here’s the thing: I think the Bestvibe Mermaid could be a decent “chastity-lite” product for someone who’s curious about the kink and just wants to try it out, someone who fetishizes chastity psychologically but doesn’t need the whole physical kit and caboodle, or someone who simply can’t afford a proper chastity belt yet but wants to approximate the experience as best they can. The Mermaid has three arms (or, as the product copy calls them, “urgent antennae”) – a G-spot-targeting vaginal arm, a tiny flexible anal arm, and a bizarre clitoral simulator made to look like three little tongues. At only $45.99, it’s probably one of the most cost-effective ways to get both your holes simultaneously stuffed with body-safe materials.

Some important caveats before we proceed: It isn’t good for your vagina to wear anything inside it for more than about 8 hours at a time, tops (which is why, for example, that’s usually the max number of hours recommended for leaving in a menstrual cup before you take it out and wash it off). The vagina is self-cleaning, and long-term vaginal obstructions prevent that process from happening and can lead to infections. I’d vehemently recommend that you not wear this as a day-in-day-out chastity device, even if you wash it every time you take it out to use the bathroom. It’s more of a once-in-a-while thing, so if that’s the only kind of chastity you want to do, maybe this would work.

Inserting this toy is a bit of a “Who’s on first?” situation. I kept inserting one arm and then finding I couldn’t get the other one in, and then reversing them, all while they slipped every which way under my lubey fingers. After much experimentation, I think the easiest way to do it is to insert the vaginal arm and then the anal arm; the latter is more flexible and thus more easily manoeuvred while the other arm is inside you. It’s kind of a slippery fucker because of its bendiness, but on the bright side, it’s comfier than something super firm would be, especially while walking around. The clitoral portion barely makes contact with my clit, because it barely reaches it – par for the course with many dual-stim (or in this case, triple-stim) toys, unfortunately. Depending on your anatomy and your chastity goals, you may want some kind of additional measure in place to block clitoral access when using this toy for that purpose.

This toy is a good balance of comfortable vs. noticeable; you definitely know you’re wearing it the entire time you’re wearing it, but it stays anchored in place well while I’m walking around (provided I’m wearing close-fitting underwear), and doesn’t typically get painful or uncomfortable unless I need to re-lube it.

The vibrations are the saddest part of the toy. They’re just so bad. They’re buzzy and frustrating and weak. But if you’re using this toy for chastity, that becomes a feature instead of a bug. Wearing this toy with the vibrations turned on for any length of time will likely result in some (temporary) genital numbness, perhaps further adding to your sense of being denied pleasure and orgasms. (I know that’s putting a “Look on the bright side!” spin on a legitimate problem, but y’know, I’ve always been an “ass half-full” kind of gal.)

This toy comes with a remote, which would be a cool feature for D/s play because your partner could randomly turn the toy on and off while you were, say, out on a dinner date. However, the instructions are inscrutable so I wasn’t able to test this. Ditto with the HEATING feature that apparently can only be enabled via the remote.

All in all, while the Bestvibe Mermaid lacks a lot of key things that would make it useable as the vibrator it purports to be (such as a decent motor or a comprehensible instruction manual), there are worse things you could shove in your holes if you’re looking to plug ’em up for a chastity scene. I can’t say I’ll be reaching for this one a lot, as chastity and orgasm denial aren’t kinks of mine (at least not as a bottom), but hey, I’m glad it exists. Go forth and obstruct your orifices if you so desire, my kinky friends.

 

Thanks to Bestvibe for sending me this product to review! This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this toy. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Guest Review: CB-6000 Chastity Cage

mb

My partner and I have been getting into chastity play over the past couple months. As one of their assignments for me, I recently asked them to write a guest review of their first cock cage. Here’s what they had to say!

I’ve long lusted after the CB-6000 from CB-X. It’s the latest iteration of the most popular chastity cage for penises on the market; you see it in chastity porn, posts on Reddit, and hanging on the wall of just about every sex shop you walk into. When it was on sale online recently for $100 USD, I asked Kate if I should order one, and she seemed almost as curious about what playing with “enforced chastity” in our dynamic would be like as I was. So I decided to pick one up. But first, I had to make two more choices: size and color.

CB-X makes their cages in 3 sizes: standard (6000), small (6000-S), and large (“The Curve”). Be careful when measuring your flaccid penis to decide on a size, because if the idea of locking up your cock appeals to you enough to buy one, you’ll probably get a little worked up like I did and accidentally order up a size. If you do, you can always purchase just the cage portion in the future for less than the cost of the entire set.

Prevailing wisdom suggests that almost everyone should order the 6000-S. It’s the best-selling size, and it fits many flaccid cocks – even if, just looking at it, you might think it won’t. In a cock cage like the CB models, you want a tight fit to make urination easier and to suppress and contain erections more effectively.

The cages also come in a variety of colors and finishes: classic clear, pink (especially popular among kinksters into sissification and feminization), red, polished chrome, gold, wood (?!), and (most bizarre of all) camouflage. I chose clear because there’s something even more erotic to me about the idea that I can “look, but not touch.” It also seems prudent to get a clear cage if you’re trying chastity for the first time and want to be sure you’re cleaning and drying your cage properly and avoiding any potential penile injuries.

The CB-6000 arrives in a black zip-up carrying case containing the polycarbonate cage, 2 bases, 5 U-rings, and 4 locking pins and spacers to control the width of the gap between the ring and the cage where your balls hang down. The kit also includes a brass Master lock (not that kind of Master), two keys (one for emergencies and one for your keyholder), 5 numbered plastic locks so you can wear it through a TSA screening, and a sample of silicone-based lube, which helps to get the cage on correctly and keep it from chafing day-to day. To use the tamper-evident travel locks: put one on, send a verification photo to your keyholder if they’d like one, toss your unlocked brass lock in your luggage, and go through security as normal. Once you’re through, you can switch back to the real lock and re-verify in the airport bathroom or your destination.

Unboxing and figuring out how to put on this device is… a process. With everything spread out on my bed, I watched this YouTube video from the company and thought I had the hang of it. The first step involves selecting the right ring size to fit around your cock and balls. You want something snug but not constricting, so you should be able to fit about one finger between it and your scrotum. Then you lube up the head of your cock (or use something called the stocking method) to slide into the cage. The problem, again, is rubbing lube all over your dick and thinking about chastity very well might make you hard, and the cage won’t be able to close correctly when you have an erection. So you’ll need to wait until you can keep your arousal under control for just long enough to slide a locking pin and spacer through the base and secure the lock. Getting the cage on is also much easier if you’re clean-shaven, but even if you are, there are still lots of spots where it can pinch your sensitive skin if you’re not extremely careful.

I initially wore it with the second-largest ring and largest spacer, but I quickly realized how important sizing is and adjusted to smaller sizes. If you pick too large a ring, the cage will slide down your shaft and be too easy to slip out of; too tight and you’ll constrict blood flow to your balls and they’ll end up feeling cold and turning purple (fine for a few minutes, not safe if it persists). After a few days of experimentation, most people will be able to find a combination that works for them. This ability to customize the size of the ring and gap is one of the best things about the CB series of cages and why I picked it as my foray into this kink. Rather than spending $300-$500 on a custom-manufactured steel cage, you can use this kit to figure out exactly how you want chastity to fit into your life – and onto your cock – before dropping that kind of dough.

The CB-6000 is a classic for a reason: it’s incredibly good at what it’s designed to do. It’s very difficult (but not impossible) to escape from if worn correctly, it makes touching your penis for the purpose of pleasure impractical via hard plastic and small slits that most fingers can’t penetrate, and it’s nearly undetectable under clothes, even my tightest jeans. Plus, it allows for easy cleaning and urination. While you can wash with a showerhead or under a bath faucet, I opted for a squirt bottle with an angled tip, and while some users can pee standing up while wearing it, I nearly always sit down and wipe after to avoid making a mess.

But it’s not without its flaws: there are two major downsides to this cage. First, it’s very difficult to sleep in, compared to other cages on the market. The circular shape of the ring causes tight compression of the scrotum during nocturnal erections which will wake you up a few times a night feeling like you’re getting (gently) kicked in the balls and stumbling out of bed to pee and walk off the pain. Second, there are tiny vents on the side of the cage that cause unsightly bulging when you get hard in this device, with thin strips of sensitive skin poking through the holes whenever your cock fills the cage. The latter is mostly an aesthetic issue for me, and some wearers tape over the holes to avoid this. But, those vents can also leave visible imprints on your shaft when you take the cage off that can last an hour or so at the very moment when you probably want to show off your cock to a partner who has just unlocked you. Not ideal unless you’re into seeing yourself pinched by plastic in a masochistic or CBT way.

Wearing the CB-6000 for 9 days straight last month was one of my favorite kinky things I’ve done all year, leaving me hypersensitive, attentive to my partner, and leading to an orgasm after I was unlocked that felt 5 times stronger than usual. Despite its flaws, it’s clear why it’s so many people’s introduction to chastity play. It’s the only sex toy I’ve ever purchased that’s guaranteed me fewer orgasms, and I’m certainly not complaining… or if I am, it’s all consensual.

5 Fun Things You Can Do With a Penis Pump

Kate Sloan
Pictured: the Max Width Penis Enlarger.

I only worked in sex toy retail for a few months, but I can’t even tell you the number of people who came in searching for penis enlargement products. In fact, it was explicitly part of my training to learn which products actually work on a long-term basis (answer: almost none of them) and which are basically bullshit – although, of course, being in retail, we wouldn’t have phrased it quite like that!

Penis pumps, I have learned, are somewhere in the middle of that spectrum – they offer some temporary enlargement by way of suction encouraging bloodflow to your dick, but that’s not their main or most effectual purpose. Penis pump results are usually more about engorgement, arousal, and pleasure than they are about size – and if you use them with that expectation held firmly (heh) in your mind, I think you’ll have a much better time with them. (Just make sure to read about the risks of using them, and maybe even discuss ’em with your doctor before you do, okay?)

To get you started, here are 5 ways to play with penis pumps in your sex/kink life…

 

Size play. I know I just said these pumps do other things much better than they do enlargement… BUT… they do create a temporary and usually minor enlargement of the penis that can be really thrilling, especially if you in any way fetishize “big dicks,” “monster cocks,” “raging boners,” and so on. (I mean, in our phallus-obsessed culture, it’s hard not to have internalized some of these ideas of hotness, even if you’ve later learned to reject them for the body-shaming beliefs that underlie them.) Whether the dick being pumped up into immensity is a partner’s or your own, it may be exciting to see it become bigger, veinier, and more intimidating for a few minutes. It might even change the penis-wielder’s sense of self (and/or their partner’s sense of them) enough that they’ll feel inspired to do some kind of roleplay scene that takes advantage of their newfound cartoonish hugeness.

Press a vibrator against it. I saw someone do this in a porn clip recently and now I can’t stop thinking about it… The combination of suction and vibration can be terrifically overwhelming, and if the chap in the video I saw is anything to go by, it seems like trying to wring an orgasm out of this method would be a long, slow, teasing process, potentially resulting in a climax half-ruined by the indirectness of the stimulation. If you’re into that, hey, I’m not gonna stop you.

Chastity/denial. It’s amazing to me that I’ve read so many screeds over the years about how “blue balls” are so painful that those tormented by this sensation should be given sex out of pity (oh, boohoo, Chad, go jerk off like an adult), given that there are tons of people who enjoy and actually seek out that sensation. Not just blue balls, either, but sometimes the overall sense of intense arousal with no resolution in sight. I think it would be especially cruel to take someone out of chastity for the first time in days or weeks, shove their dick into a penis pump, use it to crank up their arousal, and then… not let them come. Back into the chastity cage you shall go! (Just as soon as your boner deflates, that is… which, let’s face it, could take a while…)

Put on a show. Most penis pumps are transparent or translucent, making them the perfect prop for an exhibitionist moment. This could be particularly useful if, due to current global circumstances, you find yourself separated from the person/people you love to fuck. I have found few long-distance sexual experiences more intimate and bonding than watching my partner try out a totally new-to-them sex toy in front of their webcam for my viewing pleasure.

Medical play. If I’m into the fantasy of a Victorian-era doctor administering clitoral stimulation by hand in order to cure me of hysteria, I have to assume there are people with penises out there who relish the thought of a sexy doctor pumping up their dick to address erectile dysfunction. As a roleplay, this could be a small penis humiliation scene if you’re into that, packed with devastating jibes about your dick’s inability to function – or it could be an ASMR-style calming experience involving focused attention and caring concern. Sounds great either way to me!

What crafty ideas come up for you when you contemplate adding a penis pump into your kinky repertoire?

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.