clit pump

I really love oral sex. It’s such a basic-bitch opinion to hold that sometimes I feel vaguely guilty or embarrassed about it. Like, girl, you wrote a whole book on kink and BDSM. Surely your favorite sexual activities are more interesting than “insert genitals into mouth”?! And yet, at the same time, oral sex isn’t boring at all – there can be power dynamics involved, and intricate technique considerations, and a meditative headspace for either giver or receiver. Plus, you know, it feels really fucking good. (Why am I pitching you on the merits of oral sex?! Probably preaching to the choir, huh.)

Anyway, today I’m reviewing yet another oral sex simulator, the YoYoLemon Vibrating Pussy Pump with Tongue Licking Motions. It combines suction with up-and-down flicks of a silicone tongue, to provide an experience that theoretically mimics the oral sex technique likeliest to get me off: sucking and licking the clit simultaneously. Is it any good? Let’s talk about it.

Things I like about this toy

The suction is much stronger than I was expecting, and certainly stronger than you’ll find in a lot of toys in this category. It’s much more akin to an actual fucking clit pump than a paltry oral sex simulator, in that I can feel – and see – it drawing more blood into my vulva with each suck, and it stirs up arousal very quickly as a result. Sometimes the suction can get a bit too intense for my tastes (more on that below) but the first suction setting out of three turned out to be the sweet spot for me, and I never used either of the other ones except to briefly test them out for this review.
The wide mouth of this toy (2.2″ across) sets it apart from a lot of other clitoral suction toys because (depending on the size and shape of your clit and labia) it will likely suck on not just your clit but some of the flesh surrounding it, which creates a very different sensation. I really liked how it essentially caused my outer labia to be stroked up and down on either side of my clitoral shaft with every rhythmic suck, which gave me a deeper, more full-bodied clitoral sensation than toys that focus more on the clit alone or even just the very tip of the clit. I also think the size of this toy’s mouth might make it suitable for transmasculine people with bottom growth, and since it’s a gorgeous shade of kelly green (rather than pink or purple), it might suit them from a visual gender affirmation standpoint as well.
The suction motion is so wide and strong that it ends up physically moving my clit around inside the “mouth,” so that the tongue inside lands on different spots on my clit at different points in the suction cycle. This creates a sensation that’s much more varied and dynamic than a toy is usually able to provide, which makes the stimulation feel a tad more human/realistic.
You can control the suction and licking separately from one another; they each have their own button to flip through their modes (3 suction intensities and 9 different licking modes, the first 3 of which are steady speeds), and you can also use only one of them at a time if you feel like it.
If you turn off the suction function at just the right moment, you can get it to maintain the exact amount of suction you want, while you continue using the tongue’s various settings. Personally I prefer rhythmic sucking but I think this is a cool feature for people who want more sustained suction.
The suction seems to automatically release when the toy is turned off, which is good from a safety standpoint. I also found that (when properly lubed) the toy would easily release from my vulva even when the suction was on, if I just angled it up or down a bit.
To some extent you can control the degree of the suction by angling it various different ways. I didn’t always want the full amount of suction the toy was producing, so I could tilt it slightly to prevent it from reaching its full potential in that regard for a subtler sensation, at least until I got turned on enough to handle the more intense suction.
This toy is IPX6 water-resistant, which means you can wash it in the sink or shower without fear of ruining it, but shouldn’t submerge it in water.

Things I don’t like about this toy

For me, the main problem with this toy is that the tongue is not stimulating enough. The suction is awesome, and gets me very turned on, but I need that little somethin’ extra from the tongue to get me over the edge, and it just doesn’t press hard enough (or maintain its rhythm well enough when pressure is applied) to make this a fully enjoyable experience for me. It also vibrates buzzily, which definitely contributes to the sense of nearly-numbing “not quite enough”-ness. I was able to reach orgasm with this toy but it was never quite as satisfying as I was expecting/hoping for. I think this could be fixed by removing the buzzy vibrations from the tongue, making them rumblier, and/or improving the tongue’s motor so its strokes feel more impactful.
The 3 suction settings differ only in intensity of suction and not in speed. This was a bit of a disappointment; at a certain point I wanted to be sucked faster, but still couldn’t handle more suction than was being doled out on the first setting.
This toy’s pretty big and bulky for its product category. It would be trickier to integrate into penetrative sex than some other clit suckers/lickers I’ve tried, and also didn’t always feel comfortable to hold after a while. I tried using it hands-free by holding it between my thighs but it didn’t tend to sustain a good enough suction seal on my vulva when I did this.
There are a couple of tiny holes at the far end of the toy which have something to do with the suction function, and I found that when I accidentally covered them up with a fingertip, the suction would become erratically more intense, sometimes uncomfortably so. These holes are in a place where they’re really easy to cover accidentally, inconveniently enough.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: all suction toys should have a manual-release button. If your toy dies or malfunctions mid-suck, you need to be able to release the suction without relying on the toy’s mechanics to do so for you.
It’s on the louder side of the spectrum. A lotta mechanical whirring.
It has a pretty short battery life – you’ll get 30-60 minutes of use from a 90-minute charge, depending on which settings you’re using.
As with most toys of this type, you gotta use a lot of (water-based) lube to keep it feeling good and mouth-like.

Final thoughts

At $55 USD, I think the YoYoLemon Vibrating Pussy Pump with Tongue Licking Motions is fairly priced for what it is: a powerful clit pump with added tongue-like stimulation.

For me personally, this is the type of toy I’d reach for if I wanted to get physically aroused fast, since its suction is very effective – but I’d switch to something else when I wanted to actually get off, because I just don’t find its tongue stimulating enough, what with its high-pitched vibrations and insufficiently strong strokes.

If you love having your clit sucked – or think you would – then I think this toy would be a good buy. To me it certainly feels more like a human sucking me than many other such toys have, and while the tongue wasn’t totally my clit’s cup of tea, it might very well be yours.

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

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Hot damn, it’s summer in Toronto! I can already tell that this is going to be a season of fun, flirting, makeouts on sunny hillsides and impulsive late-night fuck-dates. Let’s make it happen! Here are some of the things that made me happy in the early days of this glorious summer…

Sex toys

• On a Come As You Are mission with Lavender, I spotted a hot pink clit pump and had to have it. I’ve experimented with clit suction in the past, but the only pump I owned was terrible-quality and didn’t work for my body. This new one is Serious Business and actually does what it’s supposed to: increases bloodflow and sensitivity with pleasant (though intense) suction. Next I want a partner to use it on me!

• Tantus recently ran a sale on some of their long-discontinued products, so I snapped up a lime-green Sherbet in an impulsive fit of dildo materialism. It’s even better than I expected: the bulbous, ridged head does good G-spot things, and the chartreuse shade makes me smile. Tantus sure does know how to make sex toy geeks convulse with glee.

• Forever enamored with the Magic Wand Rechargeable (though not enamored enough, apparently, to call it by its proper name instead of “the Hitachi”). I use it so often that it stays on my bed at all times for easy access. Vibratex, ya done good.

Fantasy fodder

• I’m sick of crushing on people I’d have to buy a plane ticket to have my way with. There are far too many long-distance flames in my life as is, and it can be sheer torture for the heart and/or genitals. And yet I recently found myself sexting with a fellow who lives across the pond. One of my most intense orgasms this month happened when I used the Double Trouble‘s big end inside me, pretending it was his fist – after (and only after) I’d gotten his permission to come. (Y’all, I really need to stop writing about hot beaux while I’m in public. I am a mess at this café right now.)

• Are you tired of hearing me talk about blowjob porn yet?! I’ve discovered a subreddit dedicated to one of my favorite porn subgenres: scenes featuring deepthroat BJs where the receiver comes deep in the giver’s throat. Admittedly, I’m not into the term Reddit has given this act, “throatpie” – I’d rather think of it as advanced-placement swallowing. (If you’re not sure where to start, it’s hard to go wrong with Heather.)

• I often daydream about my ideal poly situation: two or three consistent partners who love me a whole lot and who each bring out different sides of me. This is mostly a whimsical, romantic line of thinking, but naturally, sometimes it takes a turn into sexytown too. This month I pondered that time I accidentally had two sex-dates in one night but imagined it happened with a primary and secondary partner… *sigh* Bring on all the compersion and cuties, please.

Sexcetera

• I’m addicted to Nick Jonas’s new album, Last Year Was Complicated. (Man, what a title.) It’s catchy, sexy pop music that makes me want to dance the night away and/or get fucked to a pulp – but, like a lot of modern mainstream music, it’s problematic from a feminist perspective. The song “Good Girls” was the impetus for me writing about my relationship with that phrase, because it felt psychologically painful for me to hear my favorite epithet thrown around so carelessly in Nick Jonas’s mouth. (“When did all these good girls decide to be bad? Dancing up on the table, getting back at your dad. Who’s the asshole that told you that’s what you have to do?”) Hey, Nick: your music makes me wet, but your politics dry me right back up again!

• With minimal fanfare (at least, for my attention-slut M.O.), earlier this month I officially linked this blog to my real-life name and identity. My About page now bears my name (hi! I’m Kate!) and links proudly to my other internet homes (journalism portfolio, music, personal Tumblr). Nothing’s really changed, and you can still call me “GJ” if you want! I was just getting sick of keeping my two identities so separate; it felt like I was hiding part of myself from the world, and I don’t want to do that anymore. I’m not ashamed of what I write here, and if some conservative rubberneck in my life finds my blog and is offended by it, that’s on them. Thanks to all of you for supporting me through this transition and always being the loveliest, sweetest readers!

Femme stuff

• I like to wear my collar when I’m feeling subby and small. It gives me a sense of calm and directedness. But it’s not always appropriate to wear what is clearly a kink accessory, so I’ve been experimenting with necklaces that act as “day collars.” My Tarina Tarantino pavé heart necklace is a current fave. I also own a pearl necklace that’d work well, especially given, y’know, the other meaning of “pearl necklace.”

• This month brought a couple of occasions for me to get all femmed up, rockabilly-style. I’m suuuuper into that look: simple matte eyeshadows, sharp-as-hell winged eyeliner, natural-looking blush, and an impeccable red lip. Every time I do my face this way, I think, “I should do this every day!” but then I remember how much I love other looks, like hot pink lipstick, smoky eyes, and even a bare face from time to time.

Little things

Making a “mental health contingency plan” for days when boys are setting off my mood issues. Iced soy hazelnut lattes. My black rhinestoned shorts. “There will come a day when I just order a BJ and a cuddle from you and put you in an Uber at your earliest convenience…” Smiley selfies your friends send you from bed where they’ve just banged each other silly. Shake, Rattle & Roll. Quoting e e cummings poems to people you’re about to kiss. Cute boys who cover my songs. Life advice from my mentors. Marijuana puns. People who use the word “date” when they ask you on a date. Planning a potential sexy tour of New England. Andy Shauf’s new album. Woodhull dreamin’. Femme-flagging. Exchanging saucy nudes with beautiful Twitter femmes. My new computer. “You can’t stop desire; I’ve tried, but you’re fuel to my fire.” Setting goals. Party-planning with Bex. The Adventure Zone. Writing residency proposals and book proposals. Dan McCoy. Peanut butter chocolate Haagen Daaz. “Touching you with no hands.” A cute boy thanking me for taking him on a “tour of [my] subconscious” and then saying, “I’m gonna go in for the kiss now.”