Mini Reviews: BeOne, Carter, & Star Delight

Time for some short reviews to catch up on my sex toy queue! Here are some toys I’ve been testing recently…


The Fun Factory Be-One caught my attention immediately when I spotted it at ANME, because 1) a new Fun Factory toy! yay! and 2) it looked like it might work well for someone with chronic pain in their hands, like me. So I asked Fun Factory to send me one, and blessedly, they did. It’s a rechargeable vibrator designed such that you can grip it between two fingers without the need for a lot of muscle strength or flexibility. The silicone-covered tip of the toy curves downward, so it can make good contact with my clit even on days when my fingers or wrists aren’t cooperating.

That ease of use on bad pain days is, for me, the major selling point of this toy – but there are others, too. It’s waterproof. It’s small enough to fit between bodies easily during penetrative sex. It’s made of non-porous and hypoallergenic silicone and plastic. It comes with a cute, hard plastic storage case, shaped somewhat like a computer mouse, which (especially paired with the toy’s travel lock function) makes me feel much more confident it won’t thrum to life in my suitcase, if and when we’re ever allowed to fly again. Its one button, which you can use to cycle through the toy’s four steady speeds and one “flirty” pattern mode, protrudes and lights up so it’s easy to both see and feel in the heat of the moment (you would not believe how many vibrators get this very important thing wrong).

Crucially, the Be-One has two motors (TWO!) packed into its tiny body, so it’s more powerful than you would expect for a vibe of this size. The dual motor situation also makes the Be-One’s vibrations feel rumblier than Fun Factory’s previous clit vibe offerings; it’s almost like the vibrations are bouncing back and forth from one motor to another at a very high speed. This is no Tango, but I’d pick it over something buzzier like the Lelo Mia or Jimmyjane Form 2 any day. My picky clit can orgasm fairly easily with the Be-One, albeit with a bit of grinding/rubbing/circling added to the mix.

Fun Factory says that with the Be-One, “once it’s in place, you really don’t have to think about it anymore,” and unfortunately that isn’t really true because of where the control button is situated. It’s on top of the toy, a spot I can’t reach when the vibe is positioned between my fingers as advertised. When I want to change the vibration speed, I have to either pause what I’m doing to hit the button with my other hand, or reposition the toy in my hand so I can reach the button – which sort of negates the comfort of its design. However, this is a pretty minor issue (for my particular body, anyway), and overall I think Fun Factory did great with the Be-One. It’s a cute and compact vibrator with two lovely motors, and I think it’ll make a lot of people happy.


The New York Toy Collective Carter was an anniversary gift from my very thoughtful partner. Mine is turquoise and pink, because I love those colors, but it’s also available in various skin tones, a gorgeous teal, and some other shades.

I became interested in this dildo when I read my friend Epiphora’s review of it, in which she says that she squirts every time she uses the Carter. I mean… sounds pretty good to me! Sinclair Sexsmith once called the Carter their “desert-island dildo,” and they know their shit when it comes to strap-ons. I was also curious about this toy because, while the Godemiche Ambit has been my go-to pegging dildo for years, occasionally my partner wants something bigger. With its chunky 2″ diameter and comfortable dual-density silicone, the Carter certainly fits the bill.

However, so far I haven’t used the Carter for pegging purposes, because, y’know, butts are fickle and you can’t rush this stuff. I have, however, gotten fucked with it numerous times, and it’s lovely. Its 7.5″ insertable length allows it to reach my A-spot, and its pronounced coronal ridge can also stroke my G-spot with every thrust. That said, if you’re looking for a dildo to target a specific spot, I don’t think this is the right one; it’s more of a blunt instrument, best for days when you really just wanna be filled up and fucked, rather than having particular internal spots satisfied with the exacting precision of something like a Pure Wand or a Seduction. The Carter, like many New York Toy Collective dildos, has a flexible core that allows you to bend the dildo into a curve that suits you, but I’ve found this feature more useful for visual purposes (e.g. posing for strap-on selfies) than for actual fucking, because my vag tends to straighten out the dildo in short order.

This isn’t the sort of dildo that leaves me breathless or weeping after an orgasm, like the Eleven or Double Trouble can. But it’s squishy enough to be comfortable for longer fucks (assuming you keep the lube flowin’), and it looks fantastic in a strap-on. New York Toy Collective is a fabulous, queer-owned company that makes gorgeous dicks and gender affirmation products; I’m happy to support them in any way I can, especially since doing so involves telling you that you absolutely deserve a stunning and satisfying dildo like the Carter.


I bought myself a Crystal Delights Star Delight dildo in late 2018 and have somehow never gotten around to reviewing it at length here. It’s gotta be one of the prettiest dildos in my collection: clear glass, with an aqua-colored gem set into the base. It can be easy to lose yourself in the quasi-hypnotic act of examining it from all angles.

This, I feel, is a good dildo for a lazy masturbator like me. The bumpy texture all along the shaft ensures you get plenty of stimulation with minimal movement and effort. The girth – 1.4″ at its widest – is slim enough that you may not need to warm up before inserting it, especially if you pair it with a good lube (and being made of glass, it pairs well with any type of lube). I can rest the heel of my hand against the base of the Star Delight and gently rock it against my A-spot without needing to think about it or work too hard. The base is unobtrusive enough that I can easily use a vibe with this dildo, and the firmness of the glass makes orgasms with it extra intense.

That low-profile base is also one of the reasons the Star Delight works so well for me during oral sex. It’s become a favorite for my partner to insert while they’re going down on me, because it allows them to stroke my A-spot with the delicious firmness I like, while also attending to my clit. Very few dildos can actually pull this off – most feel awkward for the giver, the receiver, or both – so I’m thrilled to have found one that works reliably well for this purpose. As my partner noted in an earlier blog post, the texture of the dildo is not only stimulating for me but also helps keep the toy anchored in place during oral sex, so they can focus more fully on what their mouth is doing.

My only issue with the Star Delight – aside from the $100+ price tag, about which I can only say, wait for a sale if you can – is that the bumps make it a bit tricky to clean. I usually have to scrub around each bump individually with an old toothbrush or somesuch. But overall this dildo is versatile, useful, and pleasurable – practically everything I want a dildo to be.

Monthly Faves: A Sparkly Dildo & A Smoky Eye

It’s been a rough month for my physical and mental health, but as per usual, I managed to find some comfort and joy in sex. Here’s some of what I loved in February…

Sex toys

• I mentioned it briefly last month, but: the VixSkin Bandit is rocking my vag’s world lately. It’s comparable, dimensions-wise, to one of my favorite flesh-and-blood cocks in the known universe, so of course I love it for that reason – but it’s also a knockout in its own right. Vixen Creations is always killin’ it. (Their latest, the Gambler, is hilariously massive; maybe I’ll manage to fit one into me someday.)

• If you’re in need of a new water-based lube, I can’t recommend Sutil Rich highly enough. It’s luxuriously thick and long-lasting for a lube of this type, and I love how elegant the bottle looks on my nightstand. I’ve gotta restock mine soon!

• I’ve been wanting a Crystal Delights Star Delight glass dildo for years, and it’s always been way out of my price range – but they were having a sale around Christmastime, so I bought myself one as a holiday gift and had it shipped to my boyfriend in New York to save on postage costs. It’s quite a simple shape, and it’s made of borosilicate glass rather than the fancier and weightier soda lime glass, and both of those facts make me doubt that it’s worth its ridiculously high price tag. But it’s become one of my favorite toys to have inside me while I’m receiving oral sex. It’s surprisingly hard to find toys that work well for this purpose, but this one fits the bill. Here’s my partner on why this toy is genius:

When I’m going down on you, and I want to fuck you with a dildo, it’s nice to have something that won’t jab me in the face. The Crystal Delights dildo is perfect for this because after it’s inserted, it has a wide/thin base that I can easily press on with my hand, but that doesn’t bump my chin while I’m licking and sucking on your clit. Pressing one or two fingers against the gem in the base allows me to find the center of the toy just by touch and control the angle more easily. And It stays in place really well because of the texture and length, so I never worry about it coming too far out right as I get close to making you come. Also it looks gorgeous sliding into your cunt, and when I take a moment to breathe and give your sensitive clit a break, I have a pretty glass cock to look at.

Fantasy fodder

(Content note for this one: incest roleplay.) Older brother/younger sister roleplay is something my partner and I experiment with occasionally. It’s an interesting dynamic because it allows for both nurturing-based and humiliation-based styles of dominance; I can be both bullied and loved, in the same scene, by the same person. Basically what I’m saying is that every way m’boyf ever dominates me is hot as fuck and I want more of it…

(Content note: intoxicated sex, faux-“drugging.”) After a visit to a local dispensary, my partner and I found ourselves in possession of a weed-infused Nanaimo bar, which of course we immediately used for sexual purposes. High sex is great; high sex specifically on edibles is, in my experience, especially great. More giggly kink 2k19!

• A recurring fantasy for me lately is a scenario where a dommy dude fucks me and commands a subby dude to go down on me during the proceedings, purely so I’ll be tight and wet for his pleasure. (Uhh, writing porny shit like this still embarrasses me even though I’ve been chronicling my sex life online for nearly 7 years.) I enjoy that this fantasy makes me feel simultaneously objectified and prized, both useful and unimportant in one fell swoop. The breadth of the human sexual imagination is a trip!

Sexcetera

• The Voices of the Walrus podcast read my piece on asexuality and also interviewed me about it on live TV. I thought their questions were really smart, and I hope I answered them well!

• This month was the five-year anniversary of Tell Me Something Good, my local sexy storytelling event. It was lovely to spend the evening with whip-smart sex-positive folks, sharing stories from our wacky-‘n’-wild sex lives. I told the story of my recent Library Bar roleplay with my partner and it was fun!

• Sextistics: This month I had in-person sex 10 times and phone sex 22 times, totaling 32 sex sessions.

Femme stuff

• Despite owning a zillion already, I bought a new red lipstick this month: Rouge D’Armani matte lipstick in “Lucky Red,” the matte version of my favorite red. (I don’t think they make the glossy version of this shade anymore?! Or at least, Sephora doesn’t seem to sell it.) It’s classic and luxurious and makes me feel like a movie star, which is exactly what a red lipstick should do.

• Many many months ago, I tweeted lustfully about Coach’s collaboration collection with Keith Haring. My very sweet boyfriend evidently filed that information away, because 10 months later, on our anniversary, he surprised me with the blue Rogue bag from that collection – engraved with my initials and a little blue heart, natch. It’s astonishingly beautiful and well-made, and I feel so sophisticated and vibrant every time I carry it anywhere.

• My best makeup look of the month was the navy smoky eye I did for a long-distance date celebrating our “collarversary.” Sir and I each went to a hotel bar in our respective cities (our first I-love-you was uttered in a hotel bar exactly one year earlier) and talked on the phone while sipping cocktails and snacking. It was romantic AF and I felt very glamorous!

Media

• If you’re at all interested in the subjective experience of mental illness, run – don’t walk – to buy Esmé Weijun Wang’s new book, The Collected Schizophrenias. It’s getting a lot of attention since its launch, and for damn good reason: the essays in its pages depict the sometimes-grim, sometimes-poetic realities of living with schizoaffective disorder, from stigma to self-care to death delusions. I loved every moment I spent reading this book.

• I absolutely tore through Raven Kaldera’s anthology on submissives with disabilities, Kneeling in Spirit. It’s a lovely and affirming resource. If you’re a submissive with physical limitations, or the dominant of someone like that, you should pick this up.

• At one point this month, I experienced an intense and random urge to listen to one of my favorite Missy Bauman songs, “Natalie.” Resultingly, I started listening to Missy’s music pretty much on loop for weeks. She has a new EP out – go take a listen!

Little things

Karaoke night with treasured pals. Selfies in bisexual lighting. Getting pitches accepted at dream publications. Seeing my bruddy perform live. Highly aesthetic peppermint tea. Using D/s as a tool to help keep me healthy. My new fancy pen (a recommendation from my pen-nerd boyfriend). Oysters and Manhattans. Hitting 10,000 Twitter followers! A tiny ruler I bought for impact play before I realized how tiny it was. Ridiculous over-the-top Valentine’s outfits. Spending V-Day evening at a children’s musical in the Distillery District by myself. Beauteous flowers from my beau. Hanging out with cats. My new rainbow menstrual cup. CXBO chocolates. Matching MeUndies. Really immersive hypnotic inductions. Jacobs & Co. Steakhouse. My Sir’s insistence on finding pancakes for me when I was craving ’em. Renewing my Soulpepper subscription. My sparkly new phone case. My new assistant (it’s a long story).