dildo

Review: BigShocked 8-Inch Silicone Wolf Dog Dildo

Kate Sloan

Content note: As this dildo is inspired by dog/wolf penises, there will be some discussion in this post of canine mating habits. No bestiality, just dog-on-dog stuff. I know. I’m sorry. Let’s get through it together.

So-called “fantasy dildos” have never interested me that much, although I do find other people’s interest in them to be, in itself, interesting.

Almost all of my fantasies are about humans, rather than being about animals, mythical creatures, supernatural beings, extraterrestrials, or anything else. And to be clear, I’m not saying that in a judgey way. I think fantasy is just fantasy, and that doing bestiality is unethical but you can fantasize about whatever you want. I also think it’s cool as hell that the human sexual psyche is so wide-ranging and inventive. This is just not a side of it that holds much appeal for me personally.

But then the folks at Bigshocked offered to send me a dildo to review, and I was amazed by their wide selection of alien dildos, monster dildos, horse dildos, and dog dildos, just to name a few. I figured, when am I going to get another chance to review something so odd and out-there? (Well, probably pretty soon, if my career history is any indication, but hey, it’s a figure of speech.) After much deliberation, I asked for the 8-inch silicone wolf/dog dildo in a luminescent shade of green.

 

Sent this photo to my partner to show them what I was working on today. Dating me is an adventure.

What makes this dildo doglike and why the hell did I choose it?

While working on this review, I did some research on canine mating habits. I had to, because almost all my knowledge on this topic comes from a source I wouldn’t necessarily trust for scientific accuracy: erotic fanfiction.

See, there’s a fanfic genre known as “omegaverse” which incorporates elements of dog reproduction alongside tropey misconceptions about how wolf societies work. (The concept of wolf packs containing “alpha males,” “beta males,” etc. has been debunked, as it was based on observations of wolves in captivity, not out in the wild where they would normally be.)

In omegaverse fanfic – or at least, in the stories I’ve read from that genre – typically there’s an “alpha” character and an “omega” character. Every so often, the omega goes into heat, at which time they become sexually irresistible to alphas and also become irrepressibly horny for alpha dick. When an alpha fucks an omega, the alpha’s cock goes through a process called “knotting,” whereby a portion of the penis near the base (the “knot”) swells outward, effectively locking the alpha and omega together because the alpha cannot physically remove their dick from the omega while the knot is swollen.

I looked into it and a lot of this is accurate to how dogs mate. Most notably, knotting is a real thing that happens to dogs – but it’s definitely not as sexy/sensual/romantic as omegaverse fic makes it sound. For instance, the male dog usually turns around mid-bang so that he’s standing butt-to-butt with his mate, dick bending back between his legs. (Ever tried to do this as a human fucking a human? Sounds painful.) Peep this paragraph from an informative webpage I unfortunately read in its entirety while researching this review:

Dogs new to mating may experience a bit of anxiety at being locked together, but it’s a natural process. Help your dog to remain calm and stand still until the two can safely separate. This will occur on its own once the male dog’s arousal subsides.

Anyway, not to prattle on too long about dog sex (oops, I definitely already have), but I mainly was drawn to this dildo because I’ve enjoyed omegaverse fic before and find it hot to imagine someone being so turned on by my pussy that their dick literally gets too hard for them to physically remove it. I mean, come on.

 

Stuff I like about this dildo

  • I think people who are into those canine/omegaverse-type fantasies will be satisfied by the shape of this,  both visually and tactilely. I didn’t subject myself to a Google image search of dog dicks (sorry, I can only be as intrepid a sex toy reviewer as my anxious mind and sensitive stomach will allow), but I think this one looks pretty legit and ticks all the right boxes, so to speak.
  • On that note, it’s one of the less expensive fantasy dildos I’ve seen, so if you’re thirsty for alpha dick but gotta stick to a budget, I think this is a perfectly serviceable choice.
  • Even setting aside the animal aspect of this toy, I find the shape pleasurable and interesting. It’s rare to find a dildo with a tapered tip and a thick knot-like swell in the middle, so it really doesn’t feel like many other dildos I have tried. Its pointed tip hits my A-spot easily, but gently, when inserted all the way. The knotted section doesn’t do much for my G-spot because it protrudes moreso sideways than up-and-down, but it massages my vaginal walls in unusual ways and creates sensations I’ve rarely felt before.
  • For me, the size is reasonable and enjoyable. The shaft ranges in diameter from 1.37″ to 1.77″, and the insertable length is 6.93″, so I can get most of it inside me when I’m fully aroused. It never feels uncomfortable size-wise, only texture-wise (more on that later).
  • The teardrop-shaped base is excellent. I prefer when dildo bases offer some way to tell how the dildo is oriented when it’s inside you, because otherwise mine end up rotating around without me noticing, and then suddenly I’m using a G-spot dildo sideways and wondering why it feels like I’m getting a pap smear from an angry and overcaffeinated doctor. The base of this dildo makes it immediately clear to me which way it’s facing, so I don’t have to worry about that.
  • The base is also flared enough that you could use this toy anally and/or in a strap-on. Hot.

 

Stuff I don’t like about this dildo

  • In terms of quality, this dildo is definitely lacking. This toy only costs $36.50 and you are getting what you pay for. The swirls of color in it are artless and kind of ugly (IMO), and it just doesn’t feel as thoughtfully designed or carefully made as pricier dildos I’ve owned from Tantus, Uberrime, and so on. That said, I did administer a flame test to this Bigshocked dildo and the results seemed to indicate it is indeed made of pure silicone, as it claims to be.
  • I kind of wish the knot was firmer! Hell, maybe I just wish the whole dildo was firmer (its silicone is “Medium Super Soft Shore 10A”). This is very much a matter of personal taste, but one of the reasons I was excited about the knot was that I figured it would make orgasmic contractions feel more intense – but actually, it’s squishy enough that it didn’t make much of a difference sensation-wise. The orgasms are still good (I mean, they’re orgasms!), but I feel I would come harder with a firmer toy.
  • For me, the ribbed texture on the shaft is a bit much. I’m talking mostly about the part of the shaft between the head and the knot. There are times when it feels amazing against my vaginal walls, but also times when it feels scrapey and overstimulating. I would definitely recommend using a thick water-based lube liberally with this toy.
  • The silicone is very glossy, which means it’s also very prone to collecting lint and hairs, and amassing static electricity. This is annoying but not a huge deal.
  • Assuming you’re using this dildo vaginally, you kind of have to be fully aroused to get the full experience of it, because of how long it is and how far down the shaft the knot is located. If you’re unable to insert a dildo more than 4″ into you, you won’t comfortably reach the knot, so I would recommend doing a fair bit of warm-up before using this toy to make sure your vaginal canal has lengthened enough to accommodate it.

 

Final thoughts

If you love the thought of getting fucked by a doglike dick – and hey, I’m not judging – I think the Bigshocked silicone wolf/dog dildo will have you howling with delight.

It’s not the fanciest toy in the world, and not one that especially appeals to my own sexual sensibilities, but I’m glad I own one now, so that it’ll be around any time I’m craving a… bone.

 

This post was sponsored. That means I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Realistic vs. Non-Realistic Dildos: Which Should You Get?

Kate Sloan
A Fleshjack dildo cuddling with the Easy A

Is there any type of sex toy as hotly debated as the realistic dildo?

Okay, yes, almost certainly there is. Moral panics arise perennially about people becoming “dependent” on vibrators, there has been much kerfuffle over whether sex dolls are inherently sexist, and “fisting dildos” often inspire medically-uninformed concerns about people’s holes getting stretched out. (That hypothesis is a myth, folks!)

But if we’re talking about the type of sex toy that is most commonly debated, argued over, and fretted about, obviously the answer has got to be the realistic dildo. Many cis men worry that they won’t be able to “compete” with a partner’s dildo if it’s cocklike, especially if it’s larger than their actual dick. Many lesbians have had their sexual identity questioned or dismissed if they use/like realistic dildos, despite the facts that 1) toys are not necessarily reflective of their users’ real-life desires and attractions, and 2) some women have penises so desiring dicks isn’t inherently un-sapphic at all. Straight men who use realistic dildos may be misidentified as gay or bi, because (again) many people falsely equate choice of toy with sexual orientation. Using a realistic dildo can be a clusterfuck in more ways than one!

Given all this fervent discourse/di(ck)scourse, one might assume that realistic dildos are the only dildos available, but that isn’t the case: many sex toy companies make non-representational dildos, designed to hit those tucked-away erogenous zones or fulfill wild fantasies. Basically, whatever image pops to mind for you when you see the word “dildo,” just be aware that there’s way more out there!

If you’re in the market for a new dildo but having trouble deciding which route to go, fear not – today I’m breaking down the key factors that might lead you to go realistic or non-realistic. Let’s begin this penetrating analysis…

 

Who should get a realistic dildo?

  • Someone who fetishizes dicks or just thinks they’re hot. (Hellooo, it me.)
  • Someone who wants their new strap-on dildo to look like a real dick, whether that’s for gender affirmation reasons or any other reason. I have many trans and nonbinary friends who initially explored their burgeoning Gender Feelings this way, whether or not they were fully aware that’s what they were doing at the time.
  • Someone who wants a dildo that has the comfortable squishiness/flexibility of a flesh-and-blood dick. Granted, not all realistic dildos have this (and some non-realistic ones do, too), but generally, realistic ones are gonna be toward the squishier end of the spectrum and therefore might be comfier for some folks.
  • Someone who finds that the shape of a penis works well for their anatomy. The coronal ridge on a cock can feel great on the G-spot or prostate, for example. Non-realistic toys can be stimulating in all sorts of ways, but if you know you really crave that “mushroom head” shape inside you, a realistic dildo is probably the way to go.
  • Someone who makes porn, does cam shows, etc. While some viewers may want to see you using non-realistic toys, in my experience the vast majority of porn/cam show consumers are cis straight men who want your toys to function as a proxy for their dick. Realistic dildos work well for this, whether you’re kneeling below the camera to shoot a POV blowjob scene, sprawled out on your bed fucking yourself with the toy, or affixing it via suction cup to a wall so you can bounce on it.
  • Someone who is in a long-distance relationship with a penis-possessing person and wants to be able to take sexy photos/videos with a silicone facsimile of their partner’s cock. (Or, alternatively, someone whose partner is transmasculine and might appreciate some gender-affirming custom porn.) If you like to have Zoom/FaceTime/Skype sex, it can also be nice to use toys that actually resemble parts of your partner’s body, so you feel like you’re physically together. If you can’t find a dildo that approximates your sweetie’s dimensions, ask them to make a Clone-a-Willy for you. It’s basically like copying-and-pasting a penis.

 

Who should get a non-realistic dildo?

  • Someone who is squicked out by penises or just doesn’t find them attractive. There’s no shame in admitting this – your sex toys are meant to turn you on, and to make you feel good, not to gross you out! (Unless you’re into being grossed out, that is…)
  • Someone who is threatened by (or has a partner who is threatened by) the thought of incorporating a penis-like toy into their play, and isn’t interested in interrogating or unlearning that reaction. As a reminder: sex toys are tools, not your competition… but I also understand that a lot of us have so much strife to discuss with our therapists these days (should we be lucky enough to have one) that dildo anxiety may not be at the top of your list at the moment!
  • Someone who likes to have specific internal erogenous zones stimulated intensely and specifically. Some non-realistic dildos may have, for example, a severe G-spot/P-spot curve, or a tapered tip that slips nicely into the A-spot. When sex educators say, “Some dildos can do things that dicks simply cannot do,” this is generally what we mean.
  • Someone who likes firm penetration. You can find firm realistic toys, but the body-safe ones tend to be made of silicone, and silicone (like human cocks) can only get so hard. Glass, metal, wood, and ceramic, on the other hand, can fuck you just as firmly as you please.
  • Someone who fantasizes about mythical creatures or sci-fi characters and wants a toy that mirrors what’s inside their head. Do you dream of getting dicked down by a dragon, rendezvousing with a robot, or being manhandled by a manticore? Chances are, there’s a dildo for that!
  • Someone who’s interested in temperature play. Materials like metal, glass, and ceramic hold their temperature better and longer than silicone, so generally you’re gonna find better toys for this purpose in the non-realistic category. Pop your toy into a bowl of cool (not ice-cold) or warm (not piping hot) water for a few minutes before playing, and you’ll experience the pleasures of temp play.
  • Someone who has an appreciation for art and aesthetics. That’s not to say penises can’t be gorgeous (my spouse’s is basically a Rembrandt), but they don’t tend to have the visual pizzazz of an elegant metal dildo or a colorful glass one. Plus you can’t exactly display a veiny dick on your nightstand and call it decor, unless you’re, like, Betty Dodson or Andy Warhol.
  • Someone who plans to post photos of their dildo on social media. (Look, I don’t know your life.) A lot of social media platforms will remove images that their algorithms flag as containing nudity, even if what’s being depicted is actually a silicone cock and not a flesh-and-blood one. You can even get banned for posting naughty pics like this, although non-realistic dildos tend to slip past the censors’ sensors uncensured.

 

Who could be happy with either?

  • Someone who just doesn’t have strong preferences either way, even after reading all of the above info.
  • Someone who wants to practice being penetrated, whether that’s because they plan to have sex for the first time soon and want to be prepared, or they haven’t had sex in a while and want to make sure it’ll be comfy when it happens, or they’re exploring a hole they haven’t had penetrated much or ever. You can get both realistic and non-realistic dildos in a broad range of sizes; it’s up to you whether you’d rather practice on something realistically cock-like or something smoother and simpler.
  • Someone who wants to wield a strap-on but has no strong feelings about what their penile prosthesis should look like. If that’s your situation, it might be best to defer to your partner(s) and get whatever they’d most like to be penetrated by. At the very least, you should take their size preferences into account, and ideally pick something that targets their fave internal erogenous zone.
  • Someone who intends to build a wide-ranging sex toy collection over time. You gotta start somewhere!

 

Do you have a preference for one type of dildo over the other? Why do you think that is?

 

Thanks to the folks at Honeysx for sponsoring this post! Check out their informational article, “Dildos 101: Everything You Know About Dildos,” for more details. As always, all writing and opinions here are my own.

I Designed an Accessible A-Spot Dildo, & It’s Available Now!

Kate Sloan
Photo via the Pleasure Tailor

I’ve been reviewing sex toys for nearly a decade, but with the exception of a surprise dildo-making party at an Oregon glassblowing shop, I’ve never made my own sex toy.

So you can understand why I practically jumped out of my chair with glee when the folks at the Pleasure Tailor emailed me to ask if I’d like to collaborate with them on a sex toy design. And I’m glad to say that the final product, the Easy A, is available for purchase now. But let me back up and tell you the story of how it came to be!

 

The person who emailed me, West, explained that his company was trying to “amplify underrepresented voices by enabling experts from various communities to design their own sex toys.” I knew immediately that I wanted to design a toy that would serve my needs as a person who lives with chronic pain and muscle strength issues due to fibromyalgia. I also knew I wanted it to be a dildo that targets the A-spot. (That’s the erogenous zone deep inside the vagina on the front wall, and the one that has been my #1 favorite internal erogenous zone for many years, for those who don’t know.)

Accessible toys and A-spot toys have some commonalities: there’s not very many of either, for one thing, but on the plus side, more are starting to pop up here and there. For example, the company Bump’n recently launched the Joystick, a product designed by and for disabled folks that allows hands-free usage of toys like vibrators, dildos, and strokers. On the A-spot side of things, companies like Uberrime and Tantus have multiple toys in their lineup now that can reach that spot with relative ease.

What I haven’t seen, however, is a toy that is both A-spot-targeted and accessible for people who have limitations like mine. So when West emailed me to ask what I’d like to design, I started making some sketches. I’m not much of a visual artist, but they gave us a good starting point.

Initially, I wanted to make a toy that had angled finger holes in the base, like the NobEssence Fling, while also boasting an A-spot-friendly curve at the tip, like the Tantus Tsunami. I had found finger holes to be a useful innovation during pain flare-ups when my hands could barely stroke my clit without pain, let alone pound a dildo in and out of me at the intensity I prefer. They allowed me to maintain control over the toy without having to grip/squeeze it in my hand. But I’d only ever seen them in toys aimed at the G-spot, so I hadn’t been able to harness their helpfulness in pursuit of A-spot stimulation.

West and I went back and forth via email for a while; he showed me designs, I made suggestions, he made adjustments, I tried a prototype, I sent more feedback, he made more adjustments.

Eventually, he said he wasn’t sure finger holes were the right choice after all, since they were difficult to make out of silicone in a cost-effective way, and would also limit the user in terms of what position their wrist could be in. If, for example, you like to lift one leg and loop your arm around it to grab your dildo, the finger holes would be at the wrong angle to do that.

But the Pleasure Tailor team had come up with a solution. They created a two-tiered base meant to be held between your fingers. This way, you can push and pull the dildo in and out with a fairly light touch and it’ll still move as responsively as it would if you were gripping it more firmly. This design still had the intended effect of increased accessibility, but was easier to manufacture and also easier to use from a variety of different angles. Have I mentioned that the folks at the Pleasure Tailor are geniuses?!?

Image via the Pleasure Tailor

Let’s talk about how this thing targets the A-spot, though… because, hoooo boy, it sure does. The Easy A is made of triple-density silicone, meaning that it has a firm silicone core that gives it its shape, covered by two layers of progressively squishier silicone. This is important because the A-spot is nestled in front of the hyper-sensitive cervix, so you don’t want to ram it with something super hard right off the bat – but once the toy is actually pressed against your A-spot, you may want (or at least, I certainly want) firm pressure. The Easy A is squishy enough to feel comfortable, but firm enough to actually do what it sets out to do: stroke the fuck out of your A-spot.

I have found this toy very effective for that purpose. Like all toys used for deep penetration, this one requires some amount of warm-up – but once I’m relaxed, turned on, and have inserted the toy all the way, it finds my spot with practically zero effort on my part. And when I locate it, I can hit it over and over again with a simple flick of my wrist or bend of my fingers.

One of my favorite features of the Easy A is a small raised marking on the base which aligns with the upward curve of the toy. This makes it so that the toy will never rotate around inside you without you knowing or noticing – you can always look down to check whether the marking is centered, and recenter it if necessary so that the toy will keep hitting your spot as intended.

Image via the Pleasure Tailor

Some other random features of this toy that I think are cool:

  • Presumably, if you were to rotate it 180°, you could use it to stroke the posterior fornix instead of the anterior fornix. I’m not a posterior fornix aficionado so I can’t 100% confirm whether it works well for that purpose, but I’d be interested to hear from someone who is, if they try this toy!
  • It doesn’t look like it would be harness-compatible, because the two-tiered base looks like it would make the dildo flop around too much in a harness, but actually, the core of the dildo is so firm that it works surprisingly well in a strap-on. So you can use it for easier masturbation or you can have a partner strap it on if they want to hit your deep spot too.
  • It’s fucking bright blue!! Just looking at it makes me happy!

You can buy the Easy A right now for $125.00. But fascinatingly, the Pleasure Tailor also offers the ability to customize this toy to your own specifications. If, for example, you like the basic idea of it but would prefer it in a different color, size, firmness, or finish, you can let them know and they’ll make it just the way you want it. How cool is that?!

If you try the toy I designed, I hope you love it! I’m certainly going to treasure mine forever 🥰

Review: Fun Factory Bouncer (+ a giveaway!)

Kate Sloan

The Fun Factory Bouncer is the type of toy that’s like catnip for seasoned sex toy reviewers like me, because… it actually does something markedly different than other toys in its category. And since the category in this case is “dildo,” that’s even more impressive. When overhauling a vibrator, you can tweak the material, motor strength and quality, motor location, control panel, and shape/size/design… but with dildos, your options for originality are much more limited.

So what did Fun Factory do? They took a fairly standard-looking silicone dildo and created 3 hollow spaces inside it, and in each of those spaces, they placed a weighted ball that rolls around as you move the toy – just like the kind you’d find if you cracked open a set of Kegel beads. Innnteresting!

The result is a dildo that looks unremarkable from the outside (albeit peppy and bright, as most Fun Factory designs do) but feels completely different in your hands – or your vagina or your ass – than any dildo you’ve ever felt before. Unlike Kegel balls, which tend to stay pretty stationary once inserted, a dildo is meant to be thrusted – so even if you’ve experienced this style of Kegel toy before, this dildo is likely to feel quite different. The weighted balls roll around in their little nooks with every thrust, creating a sensation that’s sort of like low-level motion-activated vibration. It also reminds me of that delicious feeling you get when a partner’s fucking you so hard that their balls slap against your vulva/butt/thighs – except in this case, that little extra “oomph” happens inside you instead. Neat!

The rumbling gets a bit muted when my vaginal muscles clamp down on the toy, and I have to admit I found this disappointing at first. The physics of it don’t even really make sense to me. But once I realized this was happening, it became almost like a fun sexual mindfulness game… If I noticed that the toy was feeling less impactful all of a sudden, it usually meant I was clenching my PC muscles, and could function as a nice reminder to relax, let go, and let the sensations wash over me instead of trying to eke out a speedy orgasm. (The late great masturbation expert Betty Dodson – rest in peace, you brilliant problematic fave – often recommended orgasming this way; she called it the “rock ‘n’ roll” method and insisted it produced bigger, better climaxes than most people’s go-to, the “tension” method. Something to think about!)

The Bouncer is well-designed for both solo play and partnered encounters, with its sturdy-but-squishy triangular base that you can grab between your fingers or gently punch with your fist (the internal balls roll around a lot more when you thrust hard and fast, so go wild!). There’s a strong suction cup on the bottom, though I think you’d barely reap the full benefits of the toy’s unique rumbles if you were bouncing up and down on this dildo while it was affixed to the floor or a wall. It can also easily be slipped into a harness for strap-on play, a notion that excited me and my partner from the jump.

While we both enjoyed the Bouncer a lot whether they were fucking me with it by hand or strapped into our RodeoH harness, my partner observed that in both situations, this dildo takes more energy, strength, and stamina to thrust for an entire session than a standard dildo would – at least, if you want to actually feel the signature rumbling it produces. Slower, more sensual thrusting tends to produce minimal – if any – ball-rolling inside the toy, so you really have to put some elbow grease into your thrusts if you want to experience the full range of sensations this toy has to offer. While this was perfectly doable in 10-to-20-minute bursts for my able-bodied partner, I think this might be a tricky toy for you to use to its full potential if you have chronic pain, muscle strength issues, fatigue, etc. This is the main reason I probably won’t reach for this toy very often during solo play, but will likely still hand to my partner once in a while for a thorough, resounding fuck.

It helps that the shape and size of this dildo are pretty perf for my body. It has 7″ of insertable length and a solid 1.57″ diameter – big enough to feel satisfyingly full but not so big as to require lots of warm-up. The gentle undulation of the shaft shape feels really good when thrusted in and out, swelling against my spots on every stroke. This dildo can target the G-spot and feels great that way, but that spot tends to crave a hard, fast pounding that’s difficult to achieve with a draggy silicone toy like this, even when it’s slathered in lots of lube – so I prefer to use it deeper, on my A-spot, where slower and more purposeful thrusts are appreciated. I do sometimes wish it were a little longer, particularly during strap-on play when it loses about an inch to the harness, but with careful angling, it can hit any spot inside me that a longer toy can.

I appreciate that Fun Factory knew this toy was already quirky AF inside and didn’t need to look quirky, too. They enclosed those show-stopping weighted balls inside a fairly basic, uncontroversial dildo that many people should be able to enjoy, which I think was the right call. As long as you can handle the size, this dildo will likely feel good-but-not-great in your vag or your butt (and yes, it is anal-safe!). Being mouth-fucked with it would also be an interesting sensation…

The Fun Factory Bouncer is a bit of a diva, in that it works best when you’re thrusting hard, relaxing your pelvic muscles, and maintaining rhythmic momentum – which is a lot to be aware of at once. But if you’re up for that amount of labor, by yourself or with a partner, I think this is a really fun and special toy that is truly unmatched on the current market. It has bounced, jiggled, rumbled, and rocked-‘n’-rolled its way right into my heart (and my vagina)!

 

Thanks to the good folks at SXY.co.uk for providing me with this toy and sponsoring this review! (As always, all writing and opinions are my own.) They have also offered up a Bouncer for one lucky reader in the UK or Ireland – here’s how to enter:

  1. Follow @sxy_uk on Instagram
  2. Follow me (@girly_juice) on Instagram
  3. Leave a comment on this Instagram post of mine answering the question “What would your dream dildo be like?” and tagging a friend

Please note that you must be 18+ and live in the UK or Ireland to win. I’ll pick a winner after one week. Good luck, babes!

Review: Laid D2

Kate Sloan

I was on the phone with a friend when the Laid D2 dildo arrived on my doorstep. “Should I open it now?” I asked him.

“Yes!” my friend said, so I did. I gasped. I oohed and aahed. I held it up to the light and said, “It’s so smooth and heavy and shiny!!” I could not contain my delight, even knowing that the person on the other end of the phone line had not asked for a play-by-play. Luckily, he was just amused.

I’ve eyed this dildo from afar for years, but was never quite intrigued enough to request it from a sex toy retailer before. Although it is made of smooth black granite (SWOON), its shape is very similar to those of the We-Vibe Rave and Lelo Ella, so I kinda felt like… been there, fucked that. But I shouldn’t have written it off, because in use it’s actually pretty different from those toys.

The main difference, of course, is the material. I cannot overstate how sexy this toy feels in my hand. It’s hefty and weighty – not quite so much as steel, but certainly more than silicone – and it feels naturally cold to the touch, like metal. The smoothness also makes it feel altogether different from a silicone toy; it can glide against your G-spot rather than roughly rubbing past it (which silicone sometimes seems to do even when adequately lubricated), and it doesn’t require as much lube as some other toys do because of the frictionlessness of the surface.

It’s also just beautiful. It retails for less than a lot of other “luxury” dildos – on KissKiss.ch, it goes for 98.90 Swiss francs, which is about $106 American or $143 Canadian – but still definitely feels luxurious. In fact, I’m sort of gobsmacked you can get a hand-crafted dildo of this quality for that price. I think this would make a great gift for a sweetheart you’re trying to impress, provided they’ve expressed interest in owning a dildo for vaginal penetration (the D2 is not anal-safe). You can tell them it’s a toy made of 500-million-year-old granite, because apparently it is.

The D2 has two ends, both of which are insertable – but the flattened head on one side is really the star of the show. It’s optimized for G-spot stimulation. Just like the Lelo Ella, the D2 makes it easy to hone in on your spot and rock against it – but unlike the Ella, its neck has no give whatsoever, so you don’t even have to push that hard to elicit intense sensations. I like a flattened head better for my G-spot than a smaller or pointier tip; stimulation that’s too intense or direct on that spot can overwhelm me and may even be painful, especially when I’m not warmed up. The D2’s wide head (a little over 1.5″ in diameter at its widest) lets you spread out the pressure over a bigger area, so your whole G-spot gets massaged, rather than just one area getting poked. That said, the bigness of the head also means some people may have trouble getting it past their pubic bone comfortably, or inserting it at all.

The most astonishing thing to me about this toy is the extent to which it makes me squirt. The first time I used it, I was squirting so continuously that I almost didn’t notice it at first; it was a constant, low-level gushing, rather than a big, climactic ejaculation. It’s also remarkable that this toy makes me squirt so much without often creating that painful/uncomfortable “need to pee” feeling that more pinpointed G-spot toys often do. All I have to do is ride the gentle wave of pleasure, and before I know it, I’ll have soaked through my sheets. (Lay a towel down before using this toy!)

The D2 has an asymmetrical shape that’s supposed to enable you to gently rotate/rock it against your G-spot rather than thrusting in and out, but I don’t find this terribly effectual once I get past a certain level of arousal. Teasing my spot is fine for early in a session, but as I get more and more turned on, I tend to want more pressure and speed. The D2 can be thrust in and out, but it’s awkward: the handle gets slippery easily and is tricky to grip and angle right (especially for my sore hands). I end up changing my hand position several times throughout any given session with this toy, because its handle just isn’t very comfortable or useful.

However, that same handle can also be inserted. “Won’t that be pokey/stabby?” a friend asked when I mentioned this, because the straight side of the D2 does indeed taper pretty sharply at its very end. In use, though, it doesn’t bother me at all, and can actually reach my A-spot very effectively. The combination of the slim tip, hard material, and easy angleability (that’s a word, right?) of this end of the toy makes it feel like I’m really getting fucked when I use it this way. It feels almost as impactful as heftier A-spot-friendly toys like the Njoy Eleven. Blessedly, this side is easier to thrust with, because holding onto the flattened G-spot end gives you a lot of leverage and a secure grip.

This toy, I have to say, is pretty blissful. It’s a gentle G-spot jubilator, an awesome A-spot annihilator, and a gorgeous granite gift. If there’s someone in your life who likes firm stimulation of either or both of those spots, and deserves to have their vagina totally spoiled with pleasure and beauty, get them a Laid D2 – even if that person is you!

 

Thanks so much to KissKiss.ch for sending me this product to review – they’re a Switzerland-based sex shop with a killer section of luxury sex toys! This post was sponsored, which means I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the toy. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.