fantasy dildo

Review: Mr. Hankey’s Toys Oni

Kate Sloan
(Soda can for scale)

Realistic dildos are great, but I’ve tested a lot of them, and, well… they’re all dicks, so even with all the many variations in size, shape, texture, and tone, they get a little samey after a while.

So I’m sure you can understand why my interest was piqued by the ultra-textured, wildly fantastical Oni dildo by Mr. Hankey’s Toys. Let’s talk about it.

 

What is the Oni, & how can it be customized?

The Oni feels conceptually similar to those hentai-inspired tentacle dildos that are so popular: it’s vaguely tentacle-shaped and has a ton of texture all along its shaft. But that’s where the similarities end: there’s no actual aquatic imagery in this dildo’s design. Mr. Hankey’s describes it as an “ogre-like demon” dildo, featuring a “demon’s face [that] lick[s] you from the inside.”

As is standard for toys from Mr. Hankey’s, this one can be customized to your heart’s content: you get 4 size options, 4 firmness options, 25 color options, and you can indicate whether you want there to be a Vac-U-Loc-compatible hole in the base of the dildo or not.

For my Oni, I went with the small size, 75% soft firmness, metallic green color, and no Vac-U-hole. In classic Mr. Hankey’s fashion, even this “small” Oni is quite hefty: it’s got 7.1″ of insertable length, and its diameter starts at 1.3″ near the head and widens to 1.9″ as you get closer to the base.

Front & back of the Oni’s shaft

A caveat on texture & firmness

I specifically chose the “75% soft” firmness for this toy because it’s so intensely textured. Firmer textured dildos can feel scrapey, annoying, and even painful – but the softness of this one gives its texture some cushion, so that my vaginal walls feel like they’re being stroked and massaged, not scraped. Generally I’d recommend that you, too, go for one of the softer options if you end up getting your own Oni – I think most vaginas and butts would prefer this particular toy soft and squishy.

That being said, the trade-off is that softer toys are much less capable of applying targeted pressure to erogenous zones like the G-spot, A-spot, or prostate. Many people prefer a firmer touch on these spots because they are somewhat buried in the vaginal or anal wall, so they tend to respond better to pressure than gentle surface-level touch.

So it really comes down to whether you want to hit specific spots (in which case, firmer is better), or just experience a diffuse, textured sensation along your entire vaginal/anal wall with each thrust (in which case, softer is better). I’m a person who generally prefers to target specific spots with firm pressure, so a squishy, textured dildo like the Oni is more of an occasional craving for me, not the bread and butter of my dildo rotation. But that’s just me.

 

Things I like about this toy

  • The design, it must be said, is intricate and gorgeous. The front bears the aforementioned demon face, the back looks like something out of a monster-of-the-week comic, and the tip resembles a regular penis head, but stylized and elongated. It really is a work of art.
  • I love that the tip is so tapered, for two reasons: it makes this toy much easier to insert, despite its challenging texture, and it can also nudge up into my A-spot fairly easily. I also love that it’s shaped vaguely like an actual dick head, as this combines well with a lot of my fantasies when I’m using a dildo.
  • The curve seems to perfectly ensure that the entire front of the shaft rubs against my entire vaginal wall on every stroke. I don’t think it holds its shape very well once it’s inside me, because of the softness of the silicone, but it nonetheless keeps the toy mercilessly in contact with my G-spot and the surrounding area.
  • The texture is enjoyable – when I’m properly warmed up for it.  This is not the type of dildo I can rush into using, even with lube (which it requires a lot of). If I go too fast, my vaginal walls get irritated – but if I take the time to make sure I’m really turned on before inserting it, the texture feels decadent, maximalist. It doesn’t give me the same breathless gut-punch orgasms as toys that press firmly into my internal spots, but the soft texture allows for a thrilling slow-build that feels great along the way, even if the orgasm itself isn’t as explosive.
  • The squishiness is fun to squeeze around, like a vaginal stress ball.
  • The base is chunky and easy to grip onto and thrust with. I also like that a part of it juts out in such a way that you can mash it against your clit when you thrust extra deep. Normally I pair dildos with a clitoral vibrator so I can get off, but sometimes it’s nice to tease myself first by grinding against the base of the dildo.

Things I don’t like about this toy

  • As mentioned, the texture can be a bit much if I’m not sufficiently turned on and/or not using enough lube. And you will go through a fair amount of lube when using this thing, at least if you want to use it comfortably.
  • As the company points out themselves on their product page, the design of this dildo makes it prone to tipping over when stood upright on its base, which could be annoying if you tend to ride your dildos.
  • Commonly for super-textured dildos, this one is a bit trickier to clean than smooth toys, sometimes requiring a scrub brush (like an old toothbrush) to get into all the little seams and crannies. But if you like texture then it’ll be worth it.

 

Final thoughts

Mr. Hankey’s Toys allowed me to pick 3 different dildos (check out my Captain’s Hook review!), and the Oni was really the wildcard of my selections, the one that’s the biggest departure from my typical taste in dildos. It’s squishy, textured, and fantastical, while most of my faves are firm, smooth, and simple.

But the design of the Oni is both beautiful and ingenious; its curve makes its texture feel more dynamic and even more stimulating than it would be on its own. It massages my entire vagina from the inside, in a way that I haven’t often experienced before.

So, shout-out to Mr. Hankey’s for creating the elegant Oni. It’s funny how a demonic dildo can feel so heavenly.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Nothosaur Graemen fantasy dildo

Kate Sloan

Content note: Some discussion of canine sexuality.

 

Being in the media industry, I frequently receive press releases on topics that have nothing to do with my niche. Usually I just ignore these, but sometimes they’re so incongruous as to make me burst out laughing.

That’s what happened when I received an email from a company that makes dog treats. They wanted me to promote their products on my blog. Yes, this blog. The blog where I write about dildos, lipstick, and spanking. This is not a dog blog. I’ve never even owned a dog. I don’t know anything useful about dogs, nor do my readers expect dog-related content from me. What would I even write? Something about puppy-play kink? Useful kink principles adapted from dog training protocols? The best dog names that also work well as submissive honorifics? Who the fuck knows.

I sent off a reply email to the dog treats company, explaining my apprehension. But then, after hitting “send,” I glanced over at my nightstand, where I keep the toys I’m currently reviewing. There, I saw the Nothosaur Graemen, a dildo specifically designed to look like a canine dick. Oh, I thought. I guess I do write about dogs sometimes…

Anyway, this toy is lovely, and I am much more qualified to write about dildos than about dog treats, so let’s dive right in.

 

Custom size & color

The thing I love most about Nothosaur toys is the extent to which you can customize a toy to your specifications. They let me pick whatever toy I wanted (!!), so I spent far too long perusing their entire website. I eventually landed on the Graemen because I’ve been curious about these dog-inspired dildos before (for reasons I’ll get into below) but haven’t found one I’ve really loved.

Like many Nothosaur toys, the Graemen is available in five different sizes, ranging from small (3.93″ useable length x 1.44″ knot diameter) to XXL (8.07″ x 2.93″). I went with the large size, which is right in the middle: it has a useable length of 6.10″, a head diameter of 1.29″, and a knot diameter of 2.14″.

I chose the “Night Blue” colorway, which is gorgeous: the balls and base of the dick are a deep blue, while the shaft is more of a cyan shade. I love blue, so this color combo makes me really happy. That being said, you can also get this dildo made in pretty much whatever color(s) you want.

 

Firmness

Many Nothosaur toys allow you to customize the firmness of the silicone they use when making it, as well. The Graemen is only listed as being available in medium-firmness silicone, though I imagine they might be willing to custom-make one in a different firmness if you reached out to them. Nothosaur has this absolutely awesome firmness guide on their website, which features several gifs demonstrating the different firmness options, and should be helpful for anyone trying to figure out which option to go with.

Like I said, my Graemen is technically “medium” firmness, but I’d say it’s softer/squishier than that makes it sound. I’m used to using silicone dildos that are quite a bit firmer, like those made by Tantus or Uberrime. Even dual-density silicone, the likes of which is found in VixSkin dildos, tends to have a core that is significantly firmer than my Graemen.

I generally prefer dildos on the firmer side – hence my long-standing love of glass and steel toys – but I was actually glad this one was softer, because I think the shape of it would’ve felt too extreme if it was firm. When I’m aroused enough to take the whole length of this toy’s shaft, the knot fits into me easily with a bit of lube, because of how soft and squishy it is. This results in a less intense orgasm for me, because my muscles don’t encounter much resistance during the rhythmic contractions at that time, but it makes the dildo much more comfortable and adaptable to my body for the entire rest of the session before that, so it’s a trade-off I’m happy to make some of the time.

 

[chanting] dog dick dog dick DOG DICK

Okay, technically the Graemen is supposed to be the dick of a human/wolf hybrid, not a dog. But that’s still a canine. Sort of.

If you don’t know, dogs “knot” when they mate, meaning that a section near the base of their dick swells up, locking them into place for the duration of insemination. (Sorry, I’m trying to write about this in the least gross way possible without also writing dog erotica. Being a sex writer is a hell of a ride!!)

As I’ve told you before, the concept of knotting appeals to me in fantasy when applied to humans – and I’m not alone in that, as evidenced by the huge number of people reading and writing “omegaverse” fanfiction, in which knotting is a frequent feature. The idea of your own biology “forcing” you to complete the sexual act is hot to me, in a consensual-non-consent kind of way.

But also, the knot on this dildo serves a practical purpose: once it’s inside my vaginal opening, it kind of “locks in place,” making it easier for the dildo to stay deep inside me even when I’m not physically holding it there. This is great when I’m watching porn or reading erotica, or when my hands are in too much pain to keep a good grip on the base of the toy.

 

All about that A-spot stim

This dildo has a pointed tip that makes it suitable for hitting my A-spot. It doesn’t feel as intense on that spot as something firmer would, but because it’s so soft and squishy, it causes my cervix much less pain/discomfort than firmer toys can. I often have to skip A-spot stimulation at the height of my period, for instance, because my cervix gets too sensitive and angry to tolerate much poking around up there – and a dildo like this one is a great workaround at that time, because it’s so forgiving that my cervix doesn’t get mad.

 

Balls!!!

Dildos with balls are controversial. I know people who hate ’em; I know people who love ’em. Personally, I never really cared much either way until I developed fibromyalgia, at which point holding sex toys became more challenging for me at times, due to pain and muscle weakness. As a result, I appreciate toys with proper “handles” much more now than I used to, and honestly, balls can be handles. (My apologies to the testicled among you, who may be cupping your crotch protectively upon reading that. I promise I will not yank your scrotum unless you ask me to.)

The “handle” of this dildo is particularly great because it’s got some texture on it (seemingly meant to emulate wolf pubes), which enables me to keep a better grip on it even when my hands are covered in lube.

 

Final thoughts

Some orgasms feel like (the pleasurable equivalent of) getting punched in the stomach; they knock the wind out of you and are so intense they almost hurt. Orgasms with the Nothosaur Graemen are not like that for me, because the material is so squishy; they’re more like a nice hug from a friend, comforting and cozy. I can get down with that sometimes, for sure.

I’m really impressed with the broad range of products Nothosaur offers, and the customization you can do on nearly any toy in their catalogue. I mean, hell, if you like the look of the Graemen but you want it with a cum tube, they’ve got you covered. This is a company that really lets you take control of your own pleasure, and I think that’s neat.

Knotted dildos aren’t a frequent craving for me, but when I’m in the mood to use one, this is the one I’ll reach for. It’s beautiful-looking, feels great in my hand and in my cunt, and is fun to squeeze. I mean, I’ve been playing with it like a stress ball at my desk intermittently while writing this review… and honestly? I do feel less stressed than I did before!

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write an honest and fair review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: BigShocked 8-Inch Silicone Wolf Dog Dildo

Kate Sloan

Content note: As this dildo is inspired by dog/wolf penises, there will be some discussion in this post of canine mating habits. No bestiality, just dog-on-dog stuff. I know. I’m sorry. Let’s get through it together.

So-called “fantasy dildos” have never interested me that much, although I do find other people’s interest in them to be, in itself, interesting.

Almost all of my fantasies are about humans, rather than being about animals, mythical creatures, supernatural beings, extraterrestrials, or anything else. And to be clear, I’m not saying that in a judgey way. I think fantasy is just fantasy, and that doing bestiality is unethical but you can fantasize about whatever you want. I also think it’s cool as hell that the human sexual psyche is so wide-ranging and inventive. This is just not a side of it that holds much appeal for me personally.

But then the folks at Bigshocked offered to send me a dildo to review, and I was amazed by their wide selection of alien dildos, monster dildos, horse dildos, and dog dildos, just to name a few. I figured, when am I going to get another chance to review something so odd and out-there? (Well, probably pretty soon, if my career history is any indication, but hey, it’s a figure of speech.) After much deliberation, I asked for the 8-inch silicone wolf/dog dildo in a luminescent shade of green.

 

Sent this photo to my partner to show them what I was working on today. Dating me is an adventure.

What makes this dildo doglike and why the hell did I choose it?

While working on this review, I did some research on canine mating habits. I had to, because almost all my knowledge on this topic comes from a source I wouldn’t necessarily trust for scientific accuracy: erotic fanfiction.

See, there’s a fanfic genre known as “omegaverse” which incorporates elements of dog reproduction alongside tropey misconceptions about how wolf societies work. (The concept of wolf packs containing “alpha males,” “beta males,” etc. has been debunked, as it was based on observations of wolves in captivity, not out in the wild where they would normally be.)

In omegaverse fanfic – or at least, in the stories I’ve read from that genre – typically there’s an “alpha” character and an “omega” character. Every so often, the omega goes into heat, at which time they become sexually irresistible to alphas and also become irrepressibly horny for alpha dick. When an alpha fucks an omega, the alpha’s cock goes through a process called “knotting,” whereby a portion of the penis near the base (the “knot”) swells outward, effectively locking the alpha and omega together because the alpha cannot physically remove their dick from the omega while the knot is swollen.

I looked into it and a lot of this is accurate to how dogs mate. Most notably, knotting is a real thing that happens to dogs – but it’s definitely not as sexy/sensual/romantic as omegaverse fic makes it sound. For instance, the male dog usually turns around mid-bang so that he’s standing butt-to-butt with his mate, dick bending back between his legs. (Ever tried to do this as a human fucking a human? Sounds painful.) Peep this paragraph from an informative webpage I unfortunately read in its entirety while researching this review:

Dogs new to mating may experience a bit of anxiety at being locked together, but it’s a natural process. Help your dog to remain calm and stand still until the two can safely separate. This will occur on its own once the male dog’s arousal subsides.

Anyway, not to prattle on too long about dog sex (oops, I definitely already have), but I mainly was drawn to this dildo because I’ve enjoyed omegaverse fic before and find it hot to imagine someone being so turned on by my pussy that their dick literally gets too hard for them to physically remove it. I mean, come on.

 

Stuff I like about this dildo

  • I think people who are into those canine/omegaverse-type fantasies will be satisfied by the shape of this,  both visually and tactilely. I didn’t subject myself to a Google image search of dog dicks (sorry, I can only be as intrepid a sex toy reviewer as my anxious mind and sensitive stomach will allow), but I think this one looks pretty legit and ticks all the right boxes, so to speak.
  • On that note, it’s one of the less expensive fantasy dildos I’ve seen, so if you’re thirsty for alpha dick but gotta stick to a budget, I think this is a perfectly serviceable choice.
  • Even setting aside the animal aspect of this toy, I find the shape pleasurable and interesting. It’s rare to find a dildo with a tapered tip and a thick knot-like swell in the middle, so it really doesn’t feel like many other dildos I have tried. Its pointed tip hits my A-spot easily, but gently, when inserted all the way. The knotted section doesn’t do much for my G-spot because it protrudes moreso sideways than up-and-down, but it massages my vaginal walls in unusual ways and creates sensations I’ve rarely felt before.
  • For me, the size is reasonable and enjoyable. The shaft ranges in diameter from 1.37″ to 1.77″, and the insertable length is 6.93″, so I can get most of it inside me when I’m fully aroused. It never feels uncomfortable size-wise, only texture-wise (more on that later).
  • The teardrop-shaped base is excellent. I prefer when dildo bases offer some way to tell how the dildo is oriented when it’s inside you, because otherwise mine end up rotating around without me noticing, and then suddenly I’m using a G-spot dildo sideways and wondering why it feels like I’m getting a pap smear from an angry and overcaffeinated doctor. The base of this dildo makes it immediately clear to me which way it’s facing, so I don’t have to worry about that.
  • The base is also flared enough that you could use this toy anally and/or in a strap-on. Hot.

 

Stuff I don’t like about this dildo

  • In terms of quality, this dildo is definitely lacking. This toy only costs $36.50 and you are getting what you pay for. The swirls of color in it are artless and kind of ugly (IMO), and it just doesn’t feel as thoughtfully designed or carefully made as pricier dildos I’ve owned from Tantus, Uberrime, and so on. That said, I did administer a flame test to this Bigshocked dildo and the results seemed to indicate it is indeed made of pure silicone, as it claims to be.
  • I kind of wish the knot was firmer! Hell, maybe I just wish the whole dildo was firmer (its silicone is “Medium Super Soft Shore 10A”). This is very much a matter of personal taste, but one of the reasons I was excited about the knot was that I figured it would make orgasmic contractions feel more intense – but actually, it’s squishy enough that it didn’t make much of a difference sensation-wise. The orgasms are still good (I mean, they’re orgasms!), but I feel I would come harder with a firmer toy.
  • For me, the ribbed texture on the shaft is a bit much. I’m talking mostly about the part of the shaft between the head and the knot. There are times when it feels amazing against my vaginal walls, but also times when it feels scrapey and overstimulating. I would definitely recommend using a thick water-based lube liberally with this toy.
  • The silicone is very glossy, which means it’s also very prone to collecting lint and hairs, and amassing static electricity. This is annoying but not a huge deal.
  • Assuming you’re using this dildo vaginally, you kind of have to be fully aroused to get the full experience of it, because of how long it is and how far down the shaft the knot is located. If you’re unable to insert a dildo more than 4″ into you, you won’t comfortably reach the knot, so I would recommend doing a fair bit of warm-up before using this toy to make sure your vaginal canal has lengthened enough to accommodate it.

 

Final thoughts

If you love the thought of getting fucked by a doglike dick – and hey, I’m not judging – I think the Bigshocked silicone wolf/dog dildo will have you howling with delight.

It’s not the fanciest toy in the world, and not one that especially appeals to my own sexual sensibilities, but I’m glad I own one now, so that it’ll be around any time I’m craving a… bone.

 

This post was sponsored. That means I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Bestvibe Rhinoceros Horn Dildo

Kate Sloan

Bestvibe calls this dildo the Rhinoceros Horn, but I’ve looked at a bunch of pictures of rhinos in writing this review, and I feel I can definitively say: this thing is way closer to a tentacle than a rhino horn. But I know a lot of people are into that. (Is there a fetish subculture centered around horned animals being able to fuck people with their prehensile horns?! Almost certainly.)

This veiny, bumpy, blue and white silicone dildo caught my eye because it’s unlike anything else I’ve tried before. I’ve never been big into “fantasy dildos” the likes of which companies such as Bad Dragon make (in part because Bad Dragon is notoriously awful), but that’s for reasons more psychological than physical; many dildos of this type probably feel great, even if the thought of having sex with some kind of sentient sea creature (or rhinoceros) does nothing for me.

This dildo is a little over 7″ long. Its diameter gets as wide as 2.5″ toward the bottom, but the tip is a much more manageable size, so you can work your way up to its girthiest parts. The top side of the dildo is sparingly decorated with protruding “veins,” while the bottom side boasts three rows of super-stimulating bumps.

The silicone has a good amount of squish to it; I can bend the dildo in half with some effort. While this toy isn’t dual-density, the thickness of the silicone – especially toward the bottom – is such that it feels squishy on the surface and simultaneously firm enough to deliver a solid ramming. However, this silicone formulation also attracts lint and hairs constantly, and requires re-lubrication every so often during use.

While I wanted to like this dildo, it doesn’t quite work for my body. Theoretically it should be long enough to reach my A-spot – the main reason I use dildos these days – but even my seasoned vagina can’t comfortably take the girth toward the bottom of the toy’s shaft, so I have to choose between inserting it deeply enough to hit my spot or keeping it shallow enough to avoid irritating my vaginal opening. Using it on my G-spot is better, but it doesn’t have the firmness that spot craves, so the sensations are lacklustre.

If you’re a texture fiend, you’d probably enjoy this toy – but I find that the combination of extreme texture with extreme girth is just too much sensation for me. Getting pounded with this toy didn’t feel deliciously overwhelming like my partner fucking me with the Eleven or Double Trouble can; it just felt uncomfortable and slightly painful, unless they avoided thrusting the toy deep.

On the plus side, the base of this toy is a decently strong suction cup that also functions as a perfectly fist-sized concave cavity that makes it easy to thrust this toy by punching it, something my partner is very good at. They liked that the Rhinoceros Horn gave them enough leverage to fuck me hard and fast – I just wish my vagina could handle that much texture and girth so I could enjoy it more fully.

At $70, this dildo’s only gonna be a good investment for you if you really love thick dildos that have a lot of texture. I know there are a lot of people who want that kind of thing but don’t have $120+ to shell out on a huge Bad Dragon or Uberrime toy, in which case I think the Bestvibe Rhinoceros Horn could be a good substitute; the craftsmanship isn’t anywhere near as beautiful as those toymakers’, but with sex toys, usually you get what you pay for. As for me, this dildo didn’t quite make me feel… uh… horny.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning that I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this toy. As always, all writing and opinions are my own. Thanks to Bestvibe for supplying me with the toy!