female ejaculation

How to Squirt

Kate Sloan

While I’ve written about squirting here on occasion, it occurred to me recently that I’ve never written an instructional piece on how I actually do it. And as someone who benefited from reading such instructional pieces before I learned to squirt, I thought it only fair that I pay it forward, like some kind of ejaculatory philanthropist.

 

FAQ

Q. What is squirting?

A. Squirting is sometimes also known as “female ejaculation,” but I don’t tend to use that term anymore because it’s trans-exclusionary. What we’re really talking about here is people with vaginas expelling a sexual fluid from their urethra (as opposed to from the vagina itself, where regular vaginal lubrication comes from), and not all people with vaginas are women so “squirting” is the more inclusive term. However, as with any other sexual language, it all really comes down to what feels hot and affirming to you and your partner(s), so if you want to call it something else, feel free.

Q. Is squirting really just peeing?

A. While I’ve no doubt that sometimes you might think you’re squirting and find that you’ve actually peed (and this has definitely happened to me), some science has shown – and I believe, based both on firsthand experience and on extensive research – that actual squirt is a chemically distinct substance from urine.

One of its defining features is that it contains – among other components – prostate-specific antigen (PSA), an ingredient also found in semen. A much-talked-about study which claimed to “prove” that squirt is urine actually did no such thing; you can read my explanation of why in this blog post (pay particular attention to reasons #6 and #1). Further, even if squirting was pee, in my view it would still be a sexual fluid since it’s emitted during sexual activity, and there’s nothing about pee that makes it any grosser than squirt or semen (especially since both of those fluids contain traces of pee due to where they’re emitted from).

Q. Does squirting feel good?

A. For me, it’s a pleasant release, but nowhere close to the intense pleasure of an orgasm. (On that note: squirting and orgasm don’t necessarily occur simultaneously, and experiencing one during a session does not guarantee you’ll experience the other in the same session.) To the extent that my partners and I enjoy it when I squirt, it’s usually more about the showiness of it and the sense of cathartic release than it is about the heights of pleasure.

Q. Is it still squirting if the liquid sort of gushes or leaks out, instead of spraying a great distance?

A. Yes. Assuming we’re talking about actual squirt (as opposed to just a lot of vaginal lubrication), the force at which it is expulsed will vary from person to person and from session to session, so there might not always be a big theatrical geyser like you’d see in porn. This is fine and doesn’t make you a less accomplished or less sexy squirter.

Q. When/how did you first learn to squirt?

A. I squirted for the first time in the summer of 2015, after trying to learn how for several years. Some resources which helped me were Deborah Sundahl’s book on the subject and my friend Epiphora’s blog posts about squirting, especially this one about her first time squirting. I was using the Njoy Eleven the first time I squirted; there will be more info about technique and toys below.

Q. Can anyone with a vulva squirt?

A. I don’t know for sure; I don’t think anyone really knows, as of yet (not least because vulvovaginal pleasure is a surprisingly understudied topic in science compared to, say, erectile dysfunction or sperm production – gee, wonder why). But if squirting is anything like the other various sexual responses the human body is capable of, then no, probably only some people can do it.

I would imagine that some of the factors involved in determining whether you can squirt are the distance between your vagina and your urethra, the sexual sensitivity of your G-spot, and the fitness and tightness of your pelvic muscles, but who the hell knows.

Q. Is this article a set of universal instructions that can help anyone learn to squirt?

A. Nope, it sure isn’t. This article describes the techniques that work for me when I want to squirt. I hope that they help you learn to squirt if that’s something you want to do, but they might not, and that’s okay too.

 

Preparation

Lay Down a Towel: One of the biggest hindrances to squirting for the first time is that the lead-up can make you feel like you’re going to piss the bed, and since most of us are literally trained from birth to avoid doing that, our muscles predictably tense up when we feel that feeling, preventing the squirt from flying free. For this reason, plus for general peace of mind and to reduce your laundry costs, I’d recommend laying down a thick towel (possibly folded over a few times, if it’s big enough) underneath yourself before you try to squirt. If you want to get really fancy, you can use a waterproof blanket instead, like the Liberator Throw.

Empty Your Bladder: Naturally, you’ll be less scared of pissing yourself if you know you emptied your bladder before you got started. (Side note: it’s also a good idea to pee after a squirting session, if you’re able to, as this can ward off UTIs. But some scientists think squirting’s evolutionary purpose is to ward off UTIs, so, who knows?)

Chill Out: Because squirting (in my experience) requires you to relax both your muscles and your mind, it’s worth doing some de-stressing before you attempt it. Take a hot bath, perhaps. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb. Play some relaxing music. Dim the lights. Draw the curtains. You get the picture.

Go Solo: When attempting anything new sexually, I often recommend doing it alone (if it’s a thing that can be done alone) before trying it with a partner. This is especially true when there is a risk of embarrassment or mess, and while there’s nothing intrinsically embarrassing about squirting, many people are horrified at the possibility of accidentally peeing on a partner. Unless you think your partner’s physical strength and/or emotional support would be vital in your squirting quest, I’d suggest keeping this a solo activity until you’re confident you know the mechanics of it and are ready to invite a partner into that experience.

 

Technique

Take Your Time Getting Turned On: In my experience, I will only squirt if I’m already very turned on and have been for at least 15-20 minutes or so. If I want a masturbation session to end in squirting, I’ll spend a long time warming myself up by watching porn or reading erotica, doing a lot of clitoral stimulation, etc. Likewise, if a partner wants to make me squirt, generally they’ll need to take their time with me. With rare exceptions, squirting is not a quickie-friendly activity for me.

Use Lube: The fast, hard thrusting often required for squirting is much easier to achieve if everything is well-lubed. Sutil Rich is my favorite lube and works with any toy material.

Warm Up the G-Spot: The G-spot, located 2-3 inches inside the vagina on the vaginal wall closest to your belly button, is usually considered the driving force behind squirting. But a lot of people report uncomfortable or painful sensations if they jump to intense G-spot stimulation before properly warming up the area. Start with gentle stimulation – I’d recommend using a finger or two to gently massage the G-spot while you use a vibrator or your other hand on your clit – and gradually increase the pressure and intensity as you get more turned on. If you start to feel discomfort, dial it back and re-focus on things that definitely feel good (usually clitoral stimulation) until your G-spot feels ready for more. Like other genital erectile tissue, the G-spot tends to swell up with arousal, which can be a useful clue that you’re on the right track.

Stimulate Your Clit: I’ve mentioned this several times already and will continue to mention it. Why? Because the clit is the centre of sexual response for most people with vaginas. It’s the anatomical equivalent of the penis, and just as it would be unreasonable to expect the average cis man to reach peak arousal levels with zero dick contact, it’s unreasonable to expect a vulva-possessing person to get highly aroused without clit contact. (It’s not unheard of, certainly – it just shouldn’t be your default expectation, unless you already know that clit stimulation doesn’t do much for you.) I usually stimulate my clit for several minutes before even attempting penetration, either with my hand or with a vibrator, and then continue stimulating it all the way through to orgasm. I’ll recommend some clitoral vibes in the toys section below. (Side note: while most people squirt most readily from G-spot stimulation, as described below, there are some people who report squirting from clit stimulation alone.)

Firm, Fast, Sustained G-Spot Stimulation: This is the key ingredient in squirting for most of the people I’ve talked to about it. Once you’re already super aroused, use upturned fingers or a firm G-spot toy (recommendations in the toys section below) to thrust against your G-spot, applying steady pressure. You might find that you want to thrust faster and harder as time goes on. If you notice a feeling of “escalation” or “building toward” something, lean into that feeling, even though it might be scary or overwhelming at first. Ditto with a feeling of “needing to pee” – remember that you already emptied your bladder and laid down a towel (right?), so you can follow that feeling and see where it leads you instead of worrying about it.

Bear Down: Although you might be used to clenching your pelvic muscles en route to orgasm, it’s often easiest to squirt if you bear down with your muscles, like you’re trying to push out whatever’s inside you. This has the effect of pressing your G-spot more firmly against the toy/fingers/dick you’re using and helping the squirt come out. If it feels unintuitive to do this, just keep practicing and it’ll eventually get easier, especially as you learn to associate that pushing-out feeling with pleasure.

Consider Trying Post-Orgasm: I actually most often squirt after orgasm, when my clit is satiated but my G-spot usually still feels hungry for more. At that point I’ll thrust a dildo (or have a partner do so) super fast and hard against my G-spot until I feel the release of squirting, then take a little break to catch my breath and do it again, repeating as needed until I feel that I’ve “emptied out” my G-spot/urethral sponge. I think the deep relaxation that sets in post-orgasm can be helpful for squirting, and so can the heightened levels of physical arousal/engorgement.

Remember, the Goal is Pleasure: Squirting is cool, but it’s not a big deal if you can’t do it, or haven’t learned yet. Beating yourself up about not being able to squirt (or, worse: a partner criticizing you for not being able to squirt) is pointless, because the point of all of this is to feel good and have fun. If trying to make yourself squirt is lessening your fun and/or pleasure, let go of that imperative if you can, and re-focus on feeling good. You might squirt, or you might not, but either way, it’ll be time well-spent if you were focused on enjoying yourself. And, as with falling in love, you might just squirt for the first time when you’ve released all expectations of doing so.

 

Toys

G-Spot Dildos:

  • The Njoy Pure Wand is widely considered one of the best squirt-inducing toys on the market. It has an intense curve that helps it locate your G-spot easily, is made of ultra-firm stainless steel, and has two differently-sized ends so you can experiment to figure out whether your G-spot prefers broader pressure or more pinpointed sensations. Its shape also makes it relatively easy to use on oneself or to have a partner use on you. Just keep in mind that you may have to test out different motions to find your favorite: if standard in-and-out thrusting feels weird, try rocking it in a C-shape, pressing the ball rhythmically against your G-spot, or massaging the ball in a circular motion against that spot. (Note: do not try to buy a Pure Wand from Amazon, as there’s no guarantee you’ll get an authentic one; most Amazon toys claiming to be the Pure Wand are low-quality counterfeit copies. And certainly do not get the Le Wand knockoff of the Pure Wand, as it’s a plagiarized design that is, incomprehensibly, more expensive than the real thing.)
  • The NobEssence Seduction is another toy that can reliably make me squirt. It’s quite firm and deeply curved like the Pure Wand, but is a lot lighter because it’s made of wood, so I find it easier to thrust with. Since it’s handmade in small batches and is therefore often sold out, I’ll note that the Dee Lee Doo Habu is similar, and cheaper.
  • The Pipedream Icicles No. 70 has a very similar shape to the NobEssence Seduction, above, but is made of glass and is much less pricey.
  • The Lelo Ella has a broad, flat head that might feel better for you if slimmer implements (like fingers or small dildos) have felt too pokey or triggered too much of that “need-to-pee” sensation for you. It’s also gentler than the other toys on this list because it’s made of silicone (albeit pretty firm silicone) and its neck has a bit of flexibility to it.
  • If your budget is very limited, try this $26 glass dildo – it has an excellent G-spot curve and is easy to thrust, plus you can use the other end if you’re ever in the mood for less G-spot-focused stimulation. Another great option is the Sinclair Institute Crystal G, which has an even deeper curve and costs just $30.
  • If you’re a size queen/king/monarch, you’d probably dig the legendary Njoy Eleven, the first toy that ever made me squirt. Like the Pure Wand, it’s made of super-firm stainless steel, but it gets its squirt-inducing powers moreso from its massive girth than from a curve (though it does have a slight curve to it). Of course, since this dildo is huge and made of metal, it’s pretty heavy and can be hard to thrust, especially if you have hand strength issues like me – but my partner loves to pound me with it, and can reliably make me squirt that way.
  • Speaking of hand strength issues, if you lack the ability to thrust a dildo fast/hard/for a sustained amount of time, I’d recommend investing in a Fun Factory Stronic G. This thing is an auto-thrusting device that trembles against the G-spot rhythmically, and it can usually make me squirt even if I’m having such a bad chronic pain flare-up that I can’t physically hold a dildo.
  • The Lelo Mona 2 is technically a G-spot vibrator, not a dildo, but its shape is so fantastic for G-spot stimulation that it can make me squirt with or without the vibrations turned on. Some people find that vibrations on their G-spot make squirting easier to achieve; I think this is the best tool for the job if that’s the case for you.

Clitoral Toys:

  • If you already have a clit toy you love, there’s no need to buy a different one for the sake of learning to squirt. It’s all about what reliably turns you on and feels good for you. So pair your favorite clit vibe with one of the G-spot toys listed above, or another G-spot toy you enjoy, and give it a shot.
  • That being said, my all-time fave clitoral toy is the Eroscillator Top Deluxe. It oscillates instead of vibrating, so it doesn’t cause me as much numbness/desensitization as many other clit toys do, and its oscillations also seem to get deeper into my internal clitoris, which I think helps with squirting.
  • The We-Vibe Tango X has powerful, rumbly vibrations, and is small enough to be unobtrusive when paired with a G-spot dildo, so I think it’s a fantastic addition to any squirting sesh.
  • For a budget pick, I like the BMS Factory Essential Bullet. It’s a simple bullet vibe with an impressive motor for its $25 price tag.
  • Some people prefer the more subtle sensations of pressure-wave stimulation over vibration, especially when trying to focus moreso on G-spot pleasure. In this category, I love the We-Vibe Melt, Womanizer Premium 2, Lora DiCarlo Baci and Lelo Sila.

 

Fellow squirters, what toys, tips and techniques helped you most in learning to squirt?

8 Reasons the “Squirt is Pee” Study is Bad

Kate Sloan

Recently I was chatting with some friends about the 2015 study that “proved” squirting is the same thing as peeing, and I got incensed afresh about it. You can read the study yourself online if you’re curious, though I’m about to make the case for why you probably shouldn’t.

To be perfectly clear: I am not a scientist, nor am I a doctor. I have, however, been a sex journalist for nearly a decade, so I’m pretty accustomed to reading studies and extracting key findings from them. I first became interested in this study when I wrote a piece about it for Maisonneuve years ago, and I interviewed many experts and key players in the field as part of that project. With all of that said, here are 8 reasons this study is, in my view, not to be trusted…

 

1. It only had seven (7) participants. SEVEN. Many experts agree that studies smaller than about 100 people are unlikely to be statistically significant or predictive of a general population. I asked the lead researcher, Samuel Salama, why he only studied seven women, and he said, “I wish [I had] more, but it is difficult to recruit women who accept to participate to the protocol [sic].” He also claimed that his study was nonetheless the largest one that had been done on the topic, which is in fact false; previous studies done on the squirting-versus-pee debate have included sample sizes as large as 27, and there was even a previous biochemical analysis study on this subject that had 11 participants. (Still not enough, but better than seven, I guess.)

In an interview, I asked a sexual health research coordinator what they thought about this study only having seven participants, and they said this:

“I think, if you only study seven people, that’s just ridiculous. Like, what the fuck. That is not statistically significant in any universe. It doesn’t prove anything. … It’s bonkers! Bonkers! Seven people is like, nothing.”

 

2. The lead researcher seems to have had an axe to grind. I asked lead researcher Samuel Salama why he decided to study this topic, and he told me it was his 3rd-year sexology thesis and that he chose the subject of squirting “because you can read a lot of bullshit on the topic.” This suggests to me that he had already formed an opinion about whether squirting is pee before he even began the study, since he felt all the previous research on it was “bullshit.” Scientists are supposed to keep an open mind about the potential results of their studies; otherwise, the results are prone to being tainted, just like Salama thinks ejaculate is tainted by pee.

 

3. Participants were recruited under odd circumstances. The study’s seven participants were all referred by physicians, which suggests to me that the women themselves, their doctors, and the study creators all viewed squirting as a medical issue rather than a normal part of sexual functioning. This creates a biased dynamic that no doubt would permeate the whole study. Participants were also required to have a BMI that falls within the “healthy” range despite BMI having been long ago debunked as a useful measure of body weight and health.

In an interview, I asked a postdoctoral research fellow at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health if it could be problematic that all the participants were recruited via their physicians, and she said this:

“It definitely creates limitations on the generalizability of the results. For example, since the sample is limited to a certain set of women who saw these particular physicians and were then referred, we have to consider whether or not there are systematic differences between a) women who choose and/or are able to visit a physician and those who do not or cannot, b) the characteristics of women who visited the specific physicians included in the study versus women who selected different physicians, or c) women who were referred to the study and actually participated, versus women who were referred and chose not to participate, to name a few issues. Thus, the interpretation of the results should be considered within these limitations.”

 

4. It’s cissexist. I mean, it’s certainly not unique among sexological studies in this way, unfortunately, but this is still worth pointing out. So-called “female ejaculation” is a phenomenon that can happen to anyone who has a vagina, not just cis women.

 

5. It took place in a lab setting. This, again, is definitely not unique among sex studies, but I do think it’s worth noting because we just don’t have the same sexual responses in cold, clinical environments as we would have in our own cozy beds. IMO it’s absurd to think that someone getting sexually stimulated in a lab room, while being monitored and measured, would have exactly the same experience of and response to that stimulation as she has at home. As Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., details in her book Come As You Are, stress has a physiologically inhibiting effect on sexual arousal, and thus I don’t think a sex study can be purely effective and accurate in a lab setting. The participants of this study even noted that the amount they squirted during the study was less than they tend to squirt at home, suggesting the results were in fact different than they would be in everyday life.

 

6. The results were inconclusive, but not described as such in the study. This, to me, is the most pressing and obvious reason this study is problematic. The study measured levels of urea, creatinine, uric acid, and prostate-specific antigen (PSA) in each participant’s pee both before sex and after sex, and also measured those levels in each participant’s squirt. Those first three ingredients – urea, creatinine, and uric acid – are found in urine, while PSA is typically not.

If you look at the graphs that lay out the data on what was actually in each sample (click the image to see it larger), you’ll see that the distribution is actually pretty all-over-the-place. Some participants’ squirt (represented by the red bar in each chart) contained medium-to-high levels of the components of urine, while some contained barely any at all. Most participants’ squirt contained a high proportion of prostate-specific antigen compared to other ingredients, which – if anything – supports the idea that squirt is a separate fluid from urine, containing its own unique ingredients.

The writers of the study note early on, “Because normality of data distribution could not be ascertained, we preferred to use the median as the measure of central tendency and minimum–maximum values as the measure of variability.” This is just not a fair or effective way to do a study like this. Even I, as a relative layperson, can glance at these results and see that some of the women’s squirt is scientifically similar to their pee, and some of the women (especially participant #5, and to a lesser extent, #4 and #6) clearly squirt a liquid that is demonstrably different from their urine. You can’t just “average out” the results and decide that a handful of women squirting something chemically similar to pee means all women who ever squirt are squirting pee – especially when the results of your own study don’t even bear that out!

 

7. There’s traces of pee in penile ejaculate, too. It is well-established that semen contains uric acid and urea, probably due to the fact that both urine and semen come from the same hole and will naturally intermingle to some extent. I would argue (as did many of my scientist interviewees) that the same happens for people with vulvas, and that this explains the overlap in chemical makeup between some vulva-possessing people’s urine and ejaculate.

 

And finally… 8. This study will damage, and has damaged, the lives of people who squirt. The hypothesis that squirting = pee has already caused so much pain, stigma, and even trauma in the world. I interviewed Spanish sex educator Diana J. Torres about squirting and they told me stories of women they’ve known who have had their G-spots surgically removed as treatment for “coital incontinence” that was actually just squirting. “Usually science is not separated from politics,” they said, “and in a patriarchal system, it has been instrumentalized to support it.” I have to agree.

In the aftermath of this study being published, headlines circulated worldwide, announcing that squirt was actually just pee. My friend Epiphora launched a “#NotPee” campaign on social media to fight against the stigma and misinformation. Many people replied to say that they’d been shamed for squirting in the past. I hate to think what happens when that shaming escalates to ostracization or even violence.

“I don’t know why they keep revisiting it. I don’t know what the political import is to prove that it’s urine. It seems weird to me,” said philosophy professor (and proud squirter) Shannon Bell when I interviewed her about this. “If you compare it to studies on [penile] ejaculate, there’s almost an investment in women’s ejaculate not being as sexual a fluid… and I would say that’s got a political component to it.” Like Bell, I see this entire debate as being yet another manifestation of the male-dominated science field refusing to believe women and other people of marginalized genders about their own damn bodies.

I’m tired of it. I want better, bigger studies on the subject, that are constructed in more compassionate and sensical ways. But mostly, I just want people to stop caring so much whether squirt is pee and whether pee is gross. There is a lot about sex that could be considered gross, and most of us continue to have it anyway. If you’re actually disgusted by your partner’s pleasure, maybe you should let them go so they can find a partner who actually wants them to have a good time in bed without feeling ashamed of their body and the fluids it produces.

Monthly Favorites: Smulder Smut & Cumshots

Kate Sloan

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Toys

• I’m still diggin’ on the rechargeable Magic Wand. When you want an easy, quick orgasm to alleviate stress, the Magic Wand is the natural choice. That was my situation this month: I had so many deadlines and work gigs that most of my orgasms were of the perfunctory sort. And the Wand was, indeed, Magic in that respect.

• My G-spot’s favorite plaything this month was, once again, the Njoy Eleven. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it. Sometimes I fall asleep cuddling it. Sometimes I take it in the bath and stay in there for an hour or more. Sometimes it makes me come so hard that I fall off my bed. What can I say? I’m smitten.

• When I could convince myself to use a dildo that wasn’t the Eleven (a rarity), I usually reached for the Tantus Uncut #1 this month. Its girth is ideal for my current preferences, and its realistic-ness went well with all my recent Fox Mulder fantasies (see below).

Fantasy fodder

• I binge-watched season 1 of The X Files in July, and, well, you know me: if I love a show, I love its fanfic too. Archive of Our Own is absolutely rife with Mulder/Scully smut and I am 100% on board. Of particular interest? Scrabble-fuelled fucking, sexual tension + nipple orgasms, and asexual Mulder/bisexual Scully. (I have a thing for oral servitude, obviously.)

• I feel like I say this in every Monthly Favorites post, but I watched a lot of amateur blowjob porn this month. (There’s that oral servitude kink rearing its head again.) At one point, I typed “best blowjob” into XTube’s search box, and it gave me this. I hit the replay button more times than I care to divulge.

• Do you have dirty-talk phrases that haunt you in your pre-orgasmic moments? Particular words and turns of phrase that, for whatever reason, push you over the edge? Some of mine this month: “You like that?” “Let me make you come.” “Come all over my cock.”

Sexcetera

• SO, I POSSIBLY SQUIRTED. I know I should blog about this properly, but I’m still so paranoid that it was just pee (hence the word “possibly”) that I’m hesitant to write about it in depth, incase it was a total fluke. But here’s the combo that seemed to make it happen: an upright position (as opposed to my usual supine pose), James Deen porn, very fast thrusting of the Eleven, the aforementioned Magic Wand, and a longer-than-usual build-up to orgasm. I looked down right after coming and the handle of the Eleven was dripping, as though my lady-come had spurted down the length of the toy. And then I slid the Eleven out and some more liquid sprayed out onto the floor. Hmmmm. Cool!

• I’ve been noticing lately that it feels best to position vibrators on the upper-right quadrant of my clit, instead of in the middle where I’ve traditionally preferred to be stimulated. Interesting how bodies and preferences change over time! Right now, the closer I can get to my internal clitoris, the better it feels for me. Innnnteresting.

• I started a new dayjob this month and it is in the sexual realm (I can’t say any more than that, unfortunately). It is making me think a lot about the way sex work affects our feelings toward sex in our personal lives (though I should clarify that the work I’m doing probably doesn’t count as sex work, or is at least one of the mildest possible forms of it). It’s strange that I can spend an entire 6-hour shift talking and thinking about other people’s sexual experiences and fantasies, but it isn’t until I’m home with the toys and fantasies that get me off that I actually get turned on. (If you know of any good resources about sex workers’ real-life sex lives and how their work affects it, let me know! I’d love to read about that.)

Femme stuff (fashion + beauty)

• I want to wear MAC Red lipstick every damn day. The satin formula is very comfortable and I love the shade on me. It doesn’t last as long as I would like it to, but it’s so perf that I don’t mind.

• I’ve been wearing my GAP 1969 legging jeans a lot. They’re a faded black color so they go with everything, and they’re stretchy enough to feel good whether I’m working all day, shopping, hanging out, or even doing yoga. Hell yes.

• MAC pigments are soooo glittery! I got one in the color “Rose” recently and I just want to rock sparkly copper eyelids all the damn time.

What turned your crank the most this month, my loves?

Shannon Bell: Poli Sci Professor + Squirter Extraordinaire

Kate Sloan

I recently researched and wrote a big news feature on female ejaculation for a journalism school assignment. (Man, I love my life.)

I got to interview a lot of terrific babes for the piece. Superhero sex blogger and squirting champion Epiphora. Porno administrator and mega-hottie Jesse Rae West. A sexual health researcher who chose to remain anonymous and gave me the best quote about the squirting-is-pee study (“It’s bonkers! Bonkers! Seven people is, like, nothing!… That’s just ridiculous. Like, what the fuck. Like, that is not statistically significant in any universe. So it doesn’t prove anything”).

As if all those folks weren’t awesome enough, I also got to talk to Shannon Bell. And, holy fuck, was I nervous.

If you’ve never heard of Shannon Bell, let me enlighten you.

• She’s a political science professor at York University here in Toronto, where her students have variously called her “the first professor to ever use the F word in an intelligent way,” “the most enlightened person I’ve ever had the pleasure of receiving instruction from,” an “interesting dresser [who] likes anarchists,” “obscene and gross,” and “wildly intelligent, HILARIOUS, gregarious, and extremely helpful” on her RateMyProfessors page.

• Western Standard magazine profiled her as one of “Canada’s nuttiest professors” in an article, in which she’s quoted as saying that she likes to dress provocatively for her students’ benefit, starting off the semester dressing femme and then moving into a “solid leather” aesthetic around October when “things are getting intense in terms of their assignments.” (I also had a feminist sociology professor last term who mentioned that sometimes Shannon wears a skirt without panties to class, but I was not able to confirm this…)

• She’s a performance artist and a lot of her performances have focused on female ejaculation as a political statement. She talks about one such performance in her book, Fast Feminism, one entire section of which is entitled “The Female Phallus” (her badass name for the G-spot/urethral sponge/female prostate). In the performance, she squirts all over a mirror that’s angled to give the audience a good look at her genitals and what she’s doing to herself. She also recalls a time when she did a live squirting demo on a radio show, narrating the whole process herself as she did it. (That takes skill and focus, dude.)

• She teaches female ejaculation workshops from time to time in Toronto, complete with live demos, of course. A friend of mine went to one of these workshops and described it to me as “very wet.”

• Shannon also appears in one of the earliest on-screen examples of squirting, a 2002 Isis Media DVD called How to Female Ejaculate. In the movie, she and three other women (Carol Queen, Deborah Sundahl, and Baja) talk about squirting’s role in their sex lives, how they learned to do it, what it means to them personally and politically, etc., and then they get out sex toys and towels and jerk off together on camera. Shannon squirts three separate times, using a pink dildo and her fingers. At one point, she says, “I wouldn’t want to live without [being able to ejaculate]. I find it incredibly empowering. It really changed me, both physically and intellectually. It gave me an incredible sense of power and control over my body – as well as a hell of a lot of fun.”

• Her book Fast Feminism is an absolutely incredible resource for anyone who’s interested in female ejaculation, female sexual power, and/or feminism. It’s a rollicking good read. And the cover isn’t explicit so you can read about urethral sponges and mirror-squirting on the subway and no one will look at you funny.

• In the book, Shannon details how she once gathered a sample of her own ejaculate, took it to her doctor, and convinced him to run chemical analysis on it. Her results confirmed previous findings about the differences between ejaculate and pee: that they are indeed different, and have mostly different components and a different pH from one another.

• She started squirting when she was EIGHT YEARS OLD. That blew my mind. EIGHT!

• When I asked her if any woman can learn to ejaculate, she said, without skipping a beat, “Sure. Any man can learn to ejaculate. There’s really no difference.”

Seriously… What an unbelievably awesome person. I’m still starstruck.

Progress Report: G-Spot Orgasms

Kate Sloan

Last week, I bought Deborah Sundahl’s book on squirting, ordered a Pure Wand, and stacked up a couple of thick towels on my bed. It was time.

I’ve been interested in exploring my G-spot for years and years – pretty much ever since I realized I had a vagina – but I’ve never fully gotten around to it until now. I guess, like most women, I was discouraged by mainly three things:

1. The idea that it just wouldn’t work for me. I’ve been having clitoral orgasms since I was a kid and it’s hard to wrap my head around the idea that there could be a whole different kind of orgasm waiting for me to figure it out.

2. The “need to pee” feeling. It can be a very unsettling sensation, especially since clitoral pleasure is so straightforwardly pleasurable and G-spot stimulation isn’t always.

3. The time and energy required. I find G-spot play much more exhausting and time-consuming than clit play, mainly because my G-spot needs to be stimulated for a long time before it’ll swell up enough to become sensitive.

Yes, I’ve been resistant. Yes, I’ve been lazy. But all that is beginning to change.

My recent ponderings and explorations began a few weeks ago, when, during oral sex, my boyfriend slipped a finger inside me and began to feel around. This is common for us, but for some reason, on this particular day, my G-spot was very responsive. I moaned and writhed wildly as he stroked it. Eventually, the pleasure got so great that I pushed his head away to stop him from tonguing my clit – I wanted to focus on the G-spot stimulation alone.

Over the next 40 minutes or so, we experimented with my spot. There was plenty of lube, and very fast thrusting, and vigorous “come-hithering,” and lots and lots and lots of moaning. It was a pleasure unlike any I had ever felt during my own masturbatory adventures – I could never reach my spot like he could, nor could I rub it as firmly or speedily as he could. (My boyfriend attributes his dexterity to a lifetime of playing video games.)

When we paused to rest and re-hydrate, I reached inside myself with a couple of fingers and found that my G-spot was more swollen than I had ever felt it before. It was bulbous and ridgy and surprising. I was elated: new sexual territory to explore!

Since then, I’ve taken matters into my own hands. I’ve used various curved toys to hit the spot, thrusting faster than I thought my arms could handle – and that insane pleasure has returned on a few occasions. It’s deeper and really does feel like I’m stimulating the back end of my clitoris – a new angle on the orgasmic pleasure I’ve been experiencing all these years.

I still haven’t been able to orgasm from my G-spot alone, nor have I squirted (as far as I can tell), but it’s been very fun to try. I’m going to keep working on it and I’ll report back, if and when I become a multiorgasmic sex goddess with a deliciously swollen and satisfied G-spot.