flavored lube

Why Everyone Should Own Lube

Kate Sloan

There are very few immutable truths when it comes to sex. Here are a few I think are important: No matter how weird you think your sexual tastes are, there are people out there who are into the same things as you. Informed, ongoing consent is mandatory for any activity. And lube makes everything better.

It seems to me that most queer and trans folks and vagina-having folks are aware of this fact, but a worryingly high percentage of straight cis men are not. That’s largely because the quintessential “straight” sex act – peen-in-vag intercourse – is often depicted in our culture as “not requiring” lube, even though, as with most sex acts, it can be substantially improved by throwing some lube into the mix.

There’s a common cultural narrative that you won’t need lube if you’re aroused “enough,” but of course, that’s bullshit. As sex-positive writers and thinkers like Sarah Jane and JoEllen Notte have pointed out, high arousal doesn’t always lead to high lubrication. It can depend on your body, where you are in your hormonal cycle, medications you’re on, and various other factors. There is no shame in needing or wanting to use lube! In fact, I think just about everyone’s sex life would be improved with the addition of lube if they’re not already using it (and more lube, if they are).

Have I convinced you yet? If so, here are some of my favorite lubes for various fun activities…

For PIV: Good ol’ vaginal intercourse, I find, pairs well with a vag-friendly water-based lube like Blossom Organics. Water-based lubes are ill-suited to predominantly external activities like handjobs, because your body absorbs the water after a few minutes and so you gotta keep reapplying – but since the vagina is self-lubricating for many of us, I find a little water-based lube is often enough to get me started, and then my vag supplies the rest of the moisture I need as I get more and more turned on. I like this one in particular because it’s designed to minimize vaginal irritation (no glycerin or propylene glycol here!) and its taste and smell are inoffensive (a surprisingly difficult quality to find in lubes). Plus it just looks cute on my nightstand.

For butt stuff: I’m ride-or-die for Sliquid Sassy; it’s a known fact. Recently I told my boyfriend I like lots of different lubes and he clarified, “But you’re a Sassy girl at heart,” because he knows me. Sassy is a water-based lube with a thicker consistency than most, so it’s longer-lasting than your average water-based lube and tends to more-or-less stay where you put it instead of dripping all over the place. This makes it a pleasant choice for lubin’ up anything that’s gonna go in your butt, though I use Sassy vaginally a lot too. I appreciate that this lube has only five ingredients and is effectively odorless and tasteless: sometimes you just want a lube that works well without adding any bells or whistles to the experience.

For oral sex: Sliquid Swirl is one of the only actually good-tasting flavored lubes I’ve ever tried – and, crucially, unlike almost every flavored lube on the market, it’s glycerin-free. It comes in lots of different flavors and all the ones I’ve tried have been at least passably tasty, if not outright delicious. Some people find flavored lubes confusing as a concept; I’d invite them to remember that we all get a case of dry mouth from time to time, so sometimes you need a little help with lubrication while going down on your sweetheart. Flavored lube can also just be a silly novelty, for when you want to mix things up – ’cause sex is supposed to be fun!

For handjobs: Whether you’re strokin’ a dick or a vulva, I would heartily recommend The Butters. It’s a smooth, whipped lube made of natural ingredients like aloe vera gel, apple cider vinegar, shea butter, coconut oil, and grapeseed oil. It’s long-lasting and its texture feels divine on the skin. As a bonus, its taste isn’t objectionable at all (to me, anyway), so you can transition from hand stuff to mouth stuff without much trouble. And your skin will feel moisturized as hell afterward!

What are your favorite lubes? Which uses are they best suited for?

 

This post was sponsored by Peepshow Toys, who are generously helping me get to the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit this August! Check out their fine selection of lubricants. As always, all writing and opinions in this post are my own.

Review: Sliquid Swirl

Kate Sloan

At first blush, Sliquid Swirl seems too good to be true. It’s a natural, hypoallergenic lube that also happens to be flavored and glycerine-free. On top of all that, it also doesn’t contain any parabens or propylene glycol, both gross health offenders that are found in most lubes.

As a result of being devoid of all these nasties, Swirl is a legitimately vagina-friendly flavored lube, a title that’s pretty much akin to “unicorn” in the world of commercial lubricants. So before we go any further, I have to tell you: I approve of this lube. It’s automatically better than 99% of the lubes you will find, if you and/or your partner have a vagina, purely because of its ingredients.

The flavor I scored from PinkCherry.ca is pink lemonade; Swirl also comes in other delicious-sounding varieties like green apple and cherry vanilla. Considering how many flavored lube brands produce only one-note tastes like vanilla, strawberry, and mint, it’s refreshing to see Sliquid trying out cool variations you won’t find anywhere else.

My pink lemonade Swirl has a pleasant scent that reminds me of grapefruit, apple, and a hint of soap, all mixed together. The taste is subtler, less punchy, but still sweet and kind of fruity (my boyfriend says it reminds him of konjac jelly candy). It’s sweetened with aspartame, in order to avoid the enemy of vaginas everywhere, sugar – so if you have sensitivities to aspartame, or just don’t like the ever-so-slightly artificial sweetness it creates, you might not enjoy this lube as much as I do.

The taste plays well with genital flavors, though I think that’s more a result of the aspartame than anything else. Pouring a packet of sweetener on just about anything will make it taste like a more pleasant version of itself. The pink lemonade taste is not always super obvious, but the sweetness is. Be warned, this lube won’t stick around if your oral technique is wet and sloppy (and whose isn’t?) – there are better choices for a lasting flavor during oral, though they’re not usually vagina-safe.

Used for its intended purpose of lubrication, Swirl’s formulation makes it last about as long as any other water-based lube will, i.e. not a very long time. Without any added moisture, it dries down after about two minutes. With added moisture, it’ll typically last long enough that I can get through all or most of a masturbation session with it (ten to twenty minutes or so) without needing to reapply. I don’t like its texture or lastability as much as my “old faithful” lube, so Swirl won’t be my new favorite, but it’s pretty okay as far as water-based lubes go.

One thing I really like about Swirl is that it truly is both functional and flavorful – so I can use it on a dildo or my boyfriend’s cock, and afterwards, my vag still tastes sweet, allowing for a cooldown oral session.

Also, whoever designed the Sliquid packaging is brilliant. It’s slightly reminiscent of a shampoo bottle, with its easy-to-open top and easy-to-hold body. And it never leaks. You have to give the bottle a very firm squeeze to get it to dispense any lube. Bravo! (Maybe not the best choice for people with weak hands, sore wrists, etc., though.)

While Sliquid Swirl isn’t my favorite lube in the world, it’s certainly my favorite flavored lube, and one that I’ll be using regularly. It feels good to know that I can sweeten up my junk without fearing for my health.

Thanks very much, PinkCherry.ca!

Review: ID Frutopia mango-flavoured lube

Kate Sloan

Flavoured lubricant has never particularly excited me. Maybe it’s because, the second time I ever had sex with anyone, my then-girlfriend thoroughly doused both our vulvae in blueberry cheesecake-flavoured lube just for fun, resulting in a giggly and unsatisfying scissoring session. I’ve since tried a few other kinds and have never found them all that thrilling. But I can honestly say that ID’s “mango passion”-flavoured offering has completely changed my mind about what flavoured lubes can do.

Before “taking it for a spin,” my boyfriend and I both tasted the ID lube on our fingers and agreed that it is totally delicious. It really does taste like what it’s supposed to taste like – not a watered-down, medicinal version of that flavor. I practically wanted to drink the stuff out of the bottle, so I was excited to see how it would perform on my man’s already-yummy cock.

I squeezed out a few pumps of mango goodness onto his shaft. (The pump bottle dispenses a pretty perfect amount of fluid each time, without squirting or clogging – victory!) I immediately noticed that this lube’s scent carries a fair distance – I could smell mango from arm’s length, an appetizing fragrance that made me want to dive right in.

A lot of flavoured lubes fail when blended with the natural taste of genitalia, but this one is just fine in that respect. Warmed up by my man’s skin, ID tastes like a rich mango liqueur. It sweetens and partially masks some flavours that are occasionally less than sweet, like pre-cum, “balls musk,” and even semen.

The simple fact is, this lube does what a flavoured lube should do – it makes a lover’s junk into candy. And that, of course, translates into increased enthusiasm from the partner giving oral. Everyone wins! My boyfriend can confirm that the BJs I’ve given using this mango deliciousness have been some of my best performances, leading to hot, spurty, convulse-y orgasms on his part.

Still, though, ID’s lube isn’t flawless. It gets gummy within two or three minutes if left alone – this is common for water-based lubes – but can be revitalized with a little moisture (which, trust me, you’ll be licking it a lot, so this won’t be a problem for most people). It also tends to get really sticky and doesn’t wipe off easily – I have to go wash my hands after finishing up, when my boyfriend really just wants to cuddle with me. The mango scent lingers on my hands even after washing, which may be a pro or a con for you, depending on how you feel about having fruity fingers.

Because this lube contains glycerin, I don’t recommend that anyone put it on their vulva, for oral sex, penetration, or otherwise, as glycerin can lead to nasty yeast infections for those of us who are susceptible to them. However, us ladyfolk can still reap the benefits of this lube by smearing it on our nipples and commanding someone to lick it off, which I’m sure they’ll be delighted to do.

ID’s Frutopia collection contains several other flavours, including banana, raspberry, strawberry, and watermelon. It’s a great addition to foreplay, making your sexytimes even more pleasing to the palate!

Thanks so much to Sex Toys Canada for making my sex life sweeter!

Ask Girly Juice: Dos and Don’ts of Lube

Kate Sloan

I volunteer regularly at a sex and relationships hotline. Many of the questions we get are repeats; a lot of people same to have the same worries and inquiries. One thing I’ve been asked on multiple occasions is, “Is it okay to use [insert substance here] as lube?” Since it’s perplexing that so many people don’t know what are and are not suitable lubricant choices, I decided to compile my knowledge on the subject here.

Lube and vaginas:

If you’re planning on having vaginal sex, avoid lubes which contain sugar and/or glycerin. These ingredients can cause nasty yeast infections because of the way they interact with the naturally occurring bacteria in a vagina. You can use flavored lube while going down on your lady, as long as you make sure that it’s free of sugar and glycerin.

This also means that you shouldn’t use chocolate, peanut butter, or any other sweet food or drink in your sexytimes if a vagina will be involved. I know it sounds sexy to dribble chocolate sauce all over your lover’s vulva and lick it off, but she won’t think it’s so sexy when she wakes up a couple days later with a raging case of the yeastie beasties.

It’s also not a great idea to use non-natural oils as lube for vaginal sex, because that kind of oil can trap bacteria in the vagina and cause infections as well. Lightweight, natural oils like coconut and grapeseed are fine, but stay away from heavier options like mineral oil/petroleum jelly. Many silicone-based lubes feel and behave like oil, so they might be a better option if you like that oily consistency.

Lube and condoms:

Condoms cannot be used with oil-based lubes (petroleum jelly, coconut oil, what have you) because oil causes the latex to disintegrate. It can be fun to watch this happen, but you know what’s not fun? Realizing that you might have been exposed to an STI or sperm because the condom dissolved.

Lube and anuses:

Many people prefer to choose a thicker, longer-lasting lube for their anal sex needs, because anuses don’t self-lubricate and so you’ll want something that can last the entire length of the sex act.

Make sure never to use “numbing” products that claim to make anal sex easier, because if you (or your partner) can’t feel the pain, you won’t know if and when you’re seriously injuring yourself.

Lube and toys:

If you’re not sure what material your sex toys are made of, now would be a good time to check. Some silicone toys are incompatible with some silicone-based lubes – the toy may become permanently sticky or tacky in the place where the lube touched it. If you’re not sure, do a spot test on the base of the toy and wait a few minutes to see if anything disastrous happens. In any case, water-based lube is probably a better choice for you if you use silicone toys a lot.

If a toy is made of glass, stainless steel, wood, or plastic, however, then have no fear – just about any kind of lube should work on these toy materials. But again, if ever in doubt, do a spot test.

My lube recommendations:

Water-based: Blossom Organics, a Canadian-made, female-oriented, aloe-heavy lube that’s very soothing and has a realistic texture.

Silicone-based: Pjur Bodyglide, a sexy, smooth lube that is my go-to choice for handjobs especially.

Oil-based: unrefined coconut oil, available at your local health food store. Can conveniently double as a moisturizer, hair conditioner, even deodorant.

If you have a sex-related question for me, please don’t hesitate to ask!