G-spot

Review: Njoy Disco

Kate Sloan

When my friends at Peepshow Toys reached out and asked if I wanted to review the newest toy from Njoy, the Disco, I replied as soon as I saw the email: “YES PLEASE!! SEND IT OVER IMMEDIATELY!!”

…Okay, that’s not literally what I said. I was much more polite about it. I am a professional, after all! But the point is: my response was enthusiastic and unambiguous – because it’s been years since Njoy released a new toy.

Their existing lineup is legendary: the Njoy Pure Wand is widely considered the best G-spot/P-spot dildo, capable of inducing squirting and prostate milking; the Njoy Pure Plugs are the most comfortable and pleasurable anal toys I’ve ever tried; and the Njoy Eleven is a gratifyingly huge chunk o’ steel that reliably makes me come so hard I cry, and was also pivotal to how I met my partner. Needless to say, I have a lot of history with Njoy toys, so I was verrrrry curious about the first new product they’ve released in my entire time in this industry!

Njoy founder Greg DeLong reportedly used to bring prototypes of Njoy works-in-progress to parties at sex conferences, and the Disco is one he’s been showing off in this way for many years – so, while I’d heard stories from my sex blogger friends about its beautifully bizarre shape, I was eager to experience it for myself.

What the hell is the Njoy Disco? What is it for?

This was my main question about the Disco before I tried one, and it’s still my main question about the Disco now, although I’ve figured out some ways to use it that work for me.

Most Njoy toys have some descriptive text on their product page which explains what part(s) of the anatomy the toy is best-suited to target, such as the G-spot or prostate. No such information is provided about the Disco, on Njoy’s website nor in the catalogue booklet that comes with the toy. The only information we’re given says that the Disco “is designed to bring a touch of sophistication to your intimate moments,” which is true of all Njoy toys, IMO, so it’s not very helpful! While I appreciate the way this kind of vagueness invites customers of all genders and anatomies to try the toy (which they definitely can!), I also think that some instructional materials, or even just suggestions, can be helpful for users of all experience levels. That’s especially true if your toy does something innovative or unusual that the user is unlikely to have encountered before.

And indeed, most users won’t have encountered anything like the Disco before. It’s shaped like five interlocking discs, some oriented vertically and some horizontally. The discs are graduated in size, like anal beads, ranging from 1.18″ to 1.96″ across – but the Disco is wider, firmer, and more oddly-shaped than anal beads tend to be. It has a slim neck and a flared base, like a butt plug – but it’s far too heavy, long, and pokey to work well as a butt plug. It has comparable dimensions to dildos I enjoy, with its 6.2″ of insertable length – but its shaft is totally straight, so it doesn’t target internal erogenous zones by curving into them, like many dildos do.

So what is the Disco for? I was only able to answer this question through research and experimentation. Reading other people’s reviews – including Smash’s, Felicity’s, and Ruby’s– gave me more information about how the toy can be used, including the insight that it may have been named the Disco because it’s intended to be rotated, like a disco ball.

Indeed, twisting and twirling the Disco seems to be the most effective way to use it, at least for me and some other reviewers. Each disc’s rounded edge rubs my G-spot every time I roll it against that zone. The way I use it most often is: I angle it slightly so it’s pressed against my front vaginal wall, I hold the base between my thumb and two fingers, and I twist back and forth in short motions. Sometimes I also thrust in and out in short strokes at the same time, so that the Disco massages my G-spot in circles.

By the way, I didn’t try this toy anally, on myself or on a partner, because 1) my spouse and I are 500 miles apart right now and 2) I truly don’t think my butt could handle this thing. But if you want some thoughts from someone who did use it that way, check out this Reddit post.

Things I like about the Disco

  • When I get into a rhythm with the Disco, it provides a unique type of G-spot stimulation I haven’t experienced with other toys. Instead of pushing into my G-spot or thrusting over it, the Disco can roll sideways across it (or in circles, depending on how I’m using it). I associate this sensation moreso with human fingering than with dildos, so it’s cool that I have a sex toy now which can give me that feeling. It’s gentler than some other G-spot stim methods, and doesn’t feel direct enough to consistently make me squirt, but it still builds me up to intense orgasms when paired with clit stimulation. (Heed my advice, though: use a lot of lube with the Disco, and get turned on before inserting it, or else its shape will feel more abrasive than pleasurable.)
  • There’s enough length on this thing that I can reach my A-spot with the very tip of it, which is helpful when I’m getting close to orgasm and want to push myself over the edge with some deep pounding. (However, if I was specifically craving A-spot stim, I’d reach for a different dildo – the Disco just barely nudges that spot, and lacks the curve it’d need to really get in there.)
  • The Disco is a limited-edition release: only 1,000 have been made, and each one has its own unique number etched on the base (mine is #0406). This doesn’t really have any practical benefits, of course, but it does make the Disco feel like a piece of sex toy history that many sex toy nerds would be glad to own. (Incidentally, as a completionist, I really need to get my hands on a small Pure Plug eventually, as then my partner and I will own the entire Njoy lineup between the two of us!)
  • The Disco comes with a gorgeous storage/travel case, which is metallic silver to match the toy and has a luxe-feeling magnetic closure. The case is just the right size that you could store the Disco in there and also throw in a miniature bottle of lube or a bullet vibe when traveling.
  • I like the triangular shape of the handle; I find it a bit more comfortable and ergonomic to hold and thrust with than the oval-shaped handles on the Pure Plugs. The triangle shape also seems to make the twisting-back-and-forth motion easier to achieve.
  • The shape of the toy and its handle is such that you could use it on someone while going down on them. The back-and-forth twisting you can do with the Disco is a smaller motion than the thrusting you’d do with most dildos, so maybe it would be less demanding/distracting for the giver than other dildos when used this way.
  • As expected for any Njoy toy, the Disco is stunning to look at. It’s a literal work of art. You could display it on your mantelpiece. You could have a still-life portrait painted of it and hang it on your wall. Njoy wasn’t kidding around when they described the Disco as “a testament to the fusion of pleasure and artistry.”

Things I don’t like about the Disco

  • The main problem I have with the Disco is that the twisting motion it requires (if you want to use it that way) is very different from how most people will be accustomed to using a dildo. There’s a learning curve initially, during which you’ll need to experiment and figure out how to use the Disco in the ways that feel best for you. I find it most comfortable to orient the handle vertically and gently jiggle it back and forth, but even that can get tiring/painful for my sore fingers and wrists, in a way that reminds me of using an un-ergonomic computer mouse for too long.
  • It’s really heavy for a sex toy – 3.25 lbs, which is even heavier than the Eleven (2.75 lbs). Granted, the Disco is a toy that you’ll (probably) just gently twist back and forth, rather than thrusting it in and out, so the weight isn’t as cumbersome as it otherwise might be – but it still tires out my arm and hand pretty quickly on days when my chronic pain is flaring up in those areas.
  • It’s quite expensive, at $180 USD. Certainly not as expensive as the Eleven ($400), but significantly pricier than the Pure Wand ($120), which I think would be a smarter buy for most people because it’s easier to use.
  • As much as I love having partners fuck me with dildos, I’d hesitate to trust most people with the Disco, because its length, straightness, and firmness are a recipe for painful cervix-poking. Even I sometimes bump my own cervix with it when I’m using it.

Final thoughts

The Njoy Disco is an artistic triumph of a sex toy, one that wouldn’t look out-of-place in a glass case at a museum, but also looks fantastic on my nightstand.

I think you’re likeliest to enjoy the Disco if:

  • You like firm G-spot or prostate stimulation
  • You enjoy trying sex toys that do unusual/innovative things
  • You don’t regularly experience muscle weakness/fatigue/pain/etc. in your hands or wrists
  • You’re a diehard Njoy fan and want to own as much of their collection as you can get your hands on

As for me, I think it’s a magnificent-looking toy, with an interesting shape that leaves a lot of room for creativity and experimentation – but it’s not something I’ll reach for very often. If I’m craving G-spot stimulation, I tend to want it to be more direct and more foolproof, as with the almighty Pure Wand. Most of the time, I want A-spot stim, for which I prefer the straightforwardness of the Eleven. The Disco’s heaviness, and the finicky nature of the twisting motion, also make it difficult for me to imagine using it consistently, what with the chronic pain and muscle weakness I sometimes have in my hands.

But damn, am I ever glad I own one. Njoy toys are a sex toy nerd’s wet dream.

 

This review wasn’t sponsored; Peepshow just sent me the dildo and asked me to write about it, and since it’s an Njoy toy, I was thrilled to do so!

Review: Womanizer OG (A Pressure-Wave Stimulator For Your G-Spot!)

Kate Sloan

Ever since the first Womanizer launched years ago, consumers have had plenty of questions about the pressure-wave technology these toys utilized. How does it work? (It sends out rhythmic pulses of air to create a tapping/sucking sensation on the external clit.) Does it feel better than vibration? (Not “better,” exactly, but different, and some people might like it more.) Are pricey pressure-wave toys worth the money? (Possibly, but you’re better off trying a cheaper one initially to see if you like it.)

Another question that’s often been asked about these toys is: Can this technology be used to stimulate areas other than the clit?

The company that originated the technology proved that indeed it can be used for other purposes when they developed the Arcwave, a pressure-wave toy for dicks that focuses on the frenulum. But now, they’ve expanded the scope of their offerings and launched the Womanizer OG, a toy that uses pressure-waves on your G-spot. Is it any good? Let’s talk about it.

 

Things I like about the Womanizer OG

  • The OG combines pressure-waves with vibration, which has always been a pretty successful combination when Womanizer’s attempted it before, and is successful here too. They feel good together, though I have some concerns about the fact that they can’t be used separately from one another (more on that below).
  • On that note, the vibration quality is exactly what my G-spot tends to crave: deep and rumbly, no matter which of the three vibration intensities you’re on. This makes it less likely to activate an annoying or painful “need-to-pee” feeling when I press it against my G-spot, and makes blended orgasms easier to achieve.
  • The “mouth” of the toy has been expanded from Womanizers’ typical clit-sized dimensions; it’s longer, wider, and flatter, so as to stimulate your G-spot better. This could also potentially make it better for folks with bigger clits who want a pressure-wave toy they can use either internally or externally (the manual recommends warming up by using the OG on your clit before using it internally).
  • The curve of the toy’s body is well-designed: it’s ergonomic to hold, and to thrust with, but (at least for my particular anatomy) the handle doesn’t get in the way of my clit too much and I can still use a clitoral vibe or touch my clit with my fingers while the OG is inside me.
  • The OG has “Smart Silence,” a feature where the toy shuts off when you move it away from your skin and starts up again when you make contact. This isn’t super relevant for a G-spot toy because it’s (presumably) going to be inside you most of the time that you’re using it, but it’s nice if, for example, you need to suddenly pull the toy out of you and go answer the door for the mail delivery person or something, and don’t have time to hold down the “off” button for a few seconds. Also, Smart Silence can be turned off if you don’t like it.
  • The toy also has an “Afterglow” feature where, if you press the “minus” button for one second, the toy jumps back down to its lowest intensity. This feature is intended to prevent painful overstimulation that can happen during and after orgasm.
  • The manual and promotional materials for the OG are all very clear on two key points: that the G-spot is more of a G-zone, and that clitoral stimulation is crucial for most vagina-owners even if their G-spot is being stimulated well. I genuinely appreciate sex toy companies who provide accurate information to their consumers, instead of constantly hyping up their product’s virtues at the risk of making some users feel “broken” for not experiencing the toy as instantaneously orgasmic.
  • It comes in a few not-especially-gendered colors. The “slate” shade is your best bet if you loathe traditional sex toy pinks and purples.
  • The silicone covering the toy is smooth, soft, and plays well with water-based lube.
  • Like most pressure-wave toys these days, the OG is waterproof, so you can take it in the shower or bath and don’t need to worry you’ll ruin it while washing it.

Things I don’t like about the Womanizer OG

  • Most annoyingly for me, you can’t use the pressure-waves separately from the vibration – and I actually wonder if this was done on purpose, to mask the relative ineffectiveness of pressure-waves on the G-spot. I can’t feel much when the toy is in use aside from the vibration, which (don’t get me wrong) feels good, but isn’t exactly a revolutionary sensation. I asked Womanizer about this and they said the pressure-waves and vibration “are always simultaneous, but if you want to focus on one feature more than the other, you can turn it down to the lowest level,” and indeed, there are three different vibration settings which can be controlled separately from the intensity of the pressure-waves. But there’s no way to turn the vibrations off altogether, and even on the lowest level, the pressure-waves feel drowned out by vibration so I can’t give a definitive statement on whether they actually feel good alone.
  • The OG retails for $199–219 (depending on where you get it from) and I find that price hard to justify, given that – to my seasoned vagina, anyhow – it doesn’t feel that different from a great G-spot vibrator like the Lelo Mona 2 ($169), Swan Wand ($116) or We-Vibe Rave ($113). I understand that the pressure-wave technology must be more expensive to implement, but if it’s barely discernible over the vibrations then I’m not sure it was worth implementing, or that it’s worth paying extra for.
  • The phrase “simultaneous stimulation” is used a lot in the marketing for the OG, which – in conjunction with its almost C-shaped body – might make some consumers think it can stimulate your G-spot and your clit at the same time, which it can’t (or at least can’t do well). The “simultaneous stimulation” being referred to is the vibration and pressure-waves being applied simultaneously to your G-spot.
  • The marketing copy also says that the toy is “flexible,” allowing for “a comfortable, custom fit,” but it is not. I can bend it maybe half an inch, if that, before it starts to feel like I might snap it in half if I push harder. That’s enough flex to potentially make it more comfortable to thrust in and out, but since a lot of people’s G-spots prefer firm, steady pressure, I’m not sure flexibility was a good choice for this toy anyway.
  • The manual notes, “Smart Silence may not work when the stimulation head is wet. Therefore, please make sure not to apply lube into the Pleasure Air head.” This is baffling to me. If you’re designing a toy specifically to go into the vagina, all of its features should work regardless of how wet it gets – and if that’s not possible, that feature shouldn’t be offered on that toy.
  • The big, wide mouth is hard to clean, and inevitably gets caked with vag gunk in short order. This isn’t a detriment operationally because the toy is waterproof and will keep chugging away regardless of how much cum gets into it (except for the Smart Silence feature, as described above), but you will need to have some kind of scrub brush on hand when you wash it after use (an old toothbrush works great) and it can be hard to tell if you’ve actually cleaned it thoroughly or not.
  • Speaking of the toy’s mouth, it’s not well-shaped for clitoral stimulation (at least for my clit, which I’d say is on the larger end of average but not large-large), so despite what the toy’s manual recommends, I haven’t been able to get myself turned on for an OG session by first using it on my clit. It just doesn’t form a seal the way normal clitoral Womanizers do for me, so the stimulation is almost imperceptible.
  • The name is bad. “Womanizer” in itself is still a pretty shitty brand name, and “OG” (presumably a reference to “original gangster,” yikes) doesn’t make sense as a name because usually it means that something is “the original,” the first iteration of itself, whereas the OG is a much-evolved pressure-wave toy that bears little resemblance to the first Womanizers. But I’m a pedant, so.

Final thoughts

Don’t get me wrong: I can orgasm easily and consistently with the Womanizer OG, when it’s paired with a clitoral vibe. If you like G-spot vibrators, or have reason to believe you might, then you’d probably like the OG.

The problem is, I just don’t think it feels different enough from any other good-quality G-spot vibrator to warrant its hype and high price tag. Or maybe my G-spot just isn’t sensitive enough to detect a difference – but if that’s the case, I imagine that’s true of most people’s G-spots, since that area isn’t nearly as enervated as the external clitoris to begin with.

As with the Arcwave, I have to commend Womanizer for taking a big risk on a new and innovative way of utilizing pressure-waves, but I’m just not sure it works as well as they hoped. If they choose to make more pressure-wave G-spot toys in the future, I hope they’re able to focus on the pressure-waves themselves, not just vibrations, so that users can actually feel the fancy technology they’re splurging on.

If you want a fantastic Womanizer, get the Premium 2 and put it on your clit. If you want an excellent G-spot vibrator, get a Lelo Mona 2. If you want to feel pressure-waves on your G-spot and have some cash to spend, feel free to give the OG a shot – but I’m hopeful that this isn’t the last we’ll hear about G-spot pressure-waves, and that future iterations will emphasize the pleasures of pressure-waves instead of overpowering them with vibration, rumbly and pleasurable though it may be.

 

Thanks to Womanizer for sending me this toy to try! They didn’t pay me to write this review. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Can We Please Stop Inviting Freud Into Our Bedrooms?

Kate Sloan

There’s a debate in the sexual sphere that has raged for centuries, and that debate is: Are vaginal orgasms superior to clitoral orgasms? And further: Is everyone with a vagina capable of having vaginal orgasms, or are some of us “doomed” to only have clitoral orgasms – if that – as long as we live?

I find this debate annoying as hell, for three reasons:

  1. It shames a huge amount of people for the way they get off (or don’t get off), which we definitely don’t need more of.
  2. It implies that vulva-bearing bodies are something to be argued about and commentated on by others, when instead we could just listen to those people about how their own bodies work, since they’re the ones who would know.
  3. It’s largely the result of some theories Freud put forth in his day, and he was extremely wrong about a lot of stuff, not to mention frequently misogynist AF.

 

While I won’t deny that Freud was an important and influential figure in the psychology field, and that some of his ideas had merit, his thoughts on vaginal versus clitoral orgasms were utterly unhinged, and unsupported by any legitimate science I’m aware of. He wrote that part of a healthy transition to adulthood for (cis) women was unlearning the “phallic” desire for clitoral orgasms and instead starting to derive all their sexual pleasure from penetration. He believed that if someone remained “fixated” on having clitoral orgasms, it meant that they were repressed and “infantile.”

I suppose at the time, it would’ve been surprising for a stately male doctor to talk about female sexual pleasure at all – and certainly, his theories laid the groundwork for research that was done later on the G-spot and other sites of vaginal pleasure, hence the worldwide proliferation of A-spot dildos and G-spot vibrators, which I am definitely a fan of. (Freud was multilingual, and one wonders what he would’ve thought of these G-punkt-vibratoren and vibratori punto G if he’d been around to see them.)

Many theorists have also argued that the G-spot is part of the clitoris – its internal portion, which is much larger than what we see on the outside of the body – and that’s an interesting point that raises a lot of questions about how pleasure and orgasm function. But by and large, I think Freud really fucked us over with his thoughts on sexuality, especially those focused on the clitoris and vagina, and we’re still seeing the effects of that today.

See, anatomically speaking, the clitoris is analogous to the penis. This means that expecting someone to experience pleasure – let alone orgasm – from sex where their clit is completely ignored is every bit as unreasonable as expecting a person to get off without having their dick touched at all. It certainly happens, but only for a minority of people, plenty of whom still find it easier to come when, y’know, their main sexual pleasure organ is being stimulated.

Freud’s narrative of women “aging out of” clitoral orgasms and somehow magically starting to have vaginal orgasms instead is hyperfocused on heterosexual, penis-in-vagina sex. He confabulated upon and romanticized his notion of what penetrative sex “should” be like – i.e. effortlessly, mutually pleasurable for both participants all on its own – instead of listening to people about what that type of sex actually felt like for them. And his views have persevered into a whole new millennium, with mainstream publications and doctors alike still debating clitoral orgasms as if there’s anything less real, less legitimate or less good about them.

 

I’d love if we could fully shift, as a culture, toward viewing the G-spot and other vaginal erogenous zones as being more akin to the prostate than the penis – since, anatomically and pleasure-wise, they are. Many people love prostate stimulation but still need some dick contact if orgasm’s gonna happen, and this is understood to be normal and expected. The same should be true for folks who require clit stimulation in order to get off, which is entirely normal (I’ve seen various studies estimate this is the case for around 70-90% of people with vulvas).

Of course, the main reason this fact hasn’t gained more traction in the dominant culture is that it forces cis men to contend with the fact that their dick alone isn’t a fantastical orgasm-administering magic wand. It requires them to give pleasure intentionally and effortfully, instead of just assuming it’ll happen as a byproduct of seeking their own direct pleasure through intercourse. A lot of people with vaginas have also absorbed this messaging, such that they may feel “broken” or “high-maintenance” for having entirely normal sexual anatomy and sexual desires. Imagine a cis guy guiltily asking his girlfriend, “Hey, I know we don’t really do this, but would you maybe wanna touch my dick sometime? I think it would feel good for me.” This, sadly, is an exact parallel of the situation many sexually active people with vaginas are in.

 

But we don’t have to keep perpetuating this paradigm that tells us our bodies are faulty and our desire for pleasure is annoying or immature. We can decide to look at sex in a new way, one that’s actually supported by science and the anecdotal observations of millions of people around the world. We can kick Freud out of our beds, shouting this message back through the centuries: Our pleasure matters, our pleasure is real, and we can and will pursue our pleasure on our own terms.

How to Squirt

Kate Sloan

While I’ve written about squirting here on occasion, it occurred to me recently that I’ve never written an instructional piece on how I actually do it. And as someone who benefited from reading such instructional pieces before I learned to squirt, I thought it only fair that I pay it forward, like some kind of ejaculatory philanthropist.

 

FAQ

Q. What is squirting?

A. Squirting is sometimes also known as “female ejaculation,” but I don’t tend to use that term anymore because it’s trans-exclusionary. What we’re really talking about here is people with vaginas expelling a sexual fluid from their urethra (as opposed to from the vagina itself, where regular vaginal lubrication comes from), and not all people with vaginas are women so “squirting” is the more inclusive term. However, as with any other sexual language, it all really comes down to what feels hot and affirming to you and your partner(s), so if you want to call it something else, feel free.

Q. Is squirting really just peeing?

A. While I’ve no doubt that sometimes you might think you’re squirting and find that you’ve actually peed (and this has definitely happened to me), some science has shown – and I believe, based both on firsthand experience and on extensive research – that actual squirt is a chemically distinct substance from urine.

One of its defining features is that it contains – among other components – prostate-specific antigen (PSA), an ingredient also found in semen. A much-talked-about study which claimed to “prove” that squirt is urine actually did no such thing; you can read my explanation of why in this blog post (pay particular attention to reasons #6 and #1). Further, even if squirting was pee, in my view it would still be a sexual fluid since it’s emitted during sexual activity, and there’s nothing about pee that makes it any grosser than squirt or semen (especially since both of those fluids contain traces of pee due to where they’re emitted from).

Q. Does squirting feel good?

A. For me, it’s a pleasant release, but nowhere close to the intense pleasure of an orgasm. (On that note: squirting and orgasm don’t necessarily occur simultaneously, and experiencing one during a session does not guarantee you’ll experience the other in the same session.) To the extent that my partners and I enjoy it when I squirt, it’s usually more about the showiness of it and the sense of cathartic release than it is about the heights of pleasure.

Q. Is it still squirting if the liquid sort of gushes or leaks out, instead of spraying a great distance?

A. Yes. Assuming we’re talking about actual squirt (as opposed to just a lot of vaginal lubrication), the force at which it is expulsed will vary from person to person and from session to session, so there might not always be a big theatrical geyser like you’d see in porn. This is fine and doesn’t make you a less accomplished or less sexy squirter.

Q. When/how did you first learn to squirt?

A. I squirted for the first time in the summer of 2015, after trying to learn how for several years. Some resources which helped me were Deborah Sundahl’s book on the subject and my friend Epiphora’s blog posts about squirting, especially this one about her first time squirting. I was using the Njoy Eleven the first time I squirted; there will be more info about technique and toys below.

Q. Can anyone with a vulva squirt?

A. I don’t know for sure; I don’t think anyone really knows, as of yet (not least because vulvovaginal pleasure is a surprisingly understudied topic in science compared to, say, erectile dysfunction or sperm production – gee, wonder why). But if squirting is anything like the other various sexual responses the human body is capable of, then no, probably only some people can do it.

I would imagine that some of the factors involved in determining whether you can squirt are the distance between your vagina and your urethra, the sexual sensitivity of your G-spot, and the fitness and tightness of your pelvic muscles, but who the hell knows.

Q. Is this article a set of universal instructions that can help anyone learn to squirt?

A. Nope, it sure isn’t. This article describes the techniques that work for me when I want to squirt. I hope that they help you learn to squirt if that’s something you want to do, but they might not, and that’s okay too.

 

Preparation

Lay Down a Towel: One of the biggest hindrances to squirting for the first time is that the lead-up can make you feel like you’re going to piss the bed, and since most of us are literally trained from birth to avoid doing that, our muscles predictably tense up when we feel that feeling, preventing the squirt from flying free. For this reason, plus for general peace of mind and to reduce your laundry costs, I’d recommend laying down a thick towel (possibly folded over a few times, if it’s big enough) underneath yourself before you try to squirt. If you want to get really fancy, you can use a waterproof blanket instead, like the Liberator Throw.

Empty Your Bladder: Naturally, you’ll be less scared of pissing yourself if you know you emptied your bladder before you got started. (Side note: it’s also a good idea to pee after a squirting session, if you’re able to, as this can ward off UTIs. But some scientists think squirting’s evolutionary purpose is to ward off UTIs, so, who knows?)

Chill Out: Because squirting (in my experience) requires you to relax both your muscles and your mind, it’s worth doing some de-stressing before you attempt it. Take a hot bath, perhaps. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb. Play some relaxing music. Dim the lights. Draw the curtains. You get the picture.

Go Solo: When attempting anything new sexually, I often recommend doing it alone (if it’s a thing that can be done alone) before trying it with a partner. This is especially true when there is a risk of embarrassment or mess, and while there’s nothing intrinsically embarrassing about squirting, many people are horrified at the possibility of accidentally peeing on a partner. Unless you think your partner’s physical strength and/or emotional support would be vital in your squirting quest, I’d suggest keeping this a solo activity until you’re confident you know the mechanics of it and are ready to invite a partner into that experience.

 

Technique

Take Your Time Getting Turned On: In my experience, I will only squirt if I’m already very turned on and have been for at least 15-20 minutes or so. If I want a masturbation session to end in squirting, I’ll spend a long time warming myself up by watching porn or reading erotica, doing a lot of clitoral stimulation, etc. Likewise, if a partner wants to make me squirt, generally they’ll need to take their time with me. With rare exceptions, squirting is not a quickie-friendly activity for me.

Use Lube: The fast, hard thrusting often required for squirting is much easier to achieve if everything is well-lubed. Sutil Rich is my favorite lube and works with any toy material.

Warm Up the G-Spot: The G-spot, located 2-3 inches inside the vagina on the vaginal wall closest to your belly button, is usually considered the driving force behind squirting. But a lot of people report uncomfortable or painful sensations if they jump to intense G-spot stimulation before properly warming up the area. Start with gentle stimulation – I’d recommend using a finger or two to gently massage the G-spot while you use a vibrator or your other hand on your clit – and gradually increase the pressure and intensity as you get more turned on. If you start to feel discomfort, dial it back and re-focus on things that definitely feel good (usually clitoral stimulation) until your G-spot feels ready for more. Like other genital erectile tissue, the G-spot tends to swell up with arousal, which can be a useful clue that you’re on the right track.

Stimulate Your Clit: I’ve mentioned this several times already and will continue to mention it. Why? Because the clit is the centre of sexual response for most people with vaginas. It’s the anatomical equivalent of the penis, and just as it would be unreasonable to expect the average cis man to reach peak arousal levels with zero dick contact, it’s unreasonable to expect a vulva-possessing person to get highly aroused without clit contact. (It’s not unheard of, certainly – it just shouldn’t be your default expectation, unless you already know that clit stimulation doesn’t do much for you.) I usually stimulate my clit for several minutes before even attempting penetration, either with my hand or with a vibrator, and then continue stimulating it all the way through to orgasm. I’ll recommend some clitoral vibes in the toys section below. (Side note: while most people squirt most readily from G-spot stimulation, as described below, there are some people who report squirting from clit stimulation alone.)

Firm, Fast, Sustained G-Spot Stimulation: This is the key ingredient in squirting for most of the people I’ve talked to about it. Once you’re already super aroused, use upturned fingers or a firm G-spot toy (recommendations in the toys section below) to thrust against your G-spot, applying steady pressure. You might find that you want to thrust faster and harder as time goes on. If you notice a feeling of “escalation” or “building toward” something, lean into that feeling, even though it might be scary or overwhelming at first. Ditto with a feeling of “needing to pee” – remember that you already emptied your bladder and laid down a towel (right?), so you can follow that feeling and see where it leads you instead of worrying about it.

Bear Down: Although you might be used to clenching your pelvic muscles en route to orgasm, it’s often easiest to squirt if you bear down with your muscles, like you’re trying to push out whatever’s inside you. This has the effect of pressing your G-spot more firmly against the toy/fingers/dick you’re using and helping the squirt come out. If it feels unintuitive to do this, just keep practicing and it’ll eventually get easier, especially as you learn to associate that pushing-out feeling with pleasure.

Consider Trying Post-Orgasm: I actually most often squirt after orgasm, when my clit is satiated but my G-spot usually still feels hungry for more. At that point I’ll thrust a dildo (or have a partner do so) super fast and hard against my G-spot until I feel the release of squirting, then take a little break to catch my breath and do it again, repeating as needed until I feel that I’ve “emptied out” my G-spot/urethral sponge. I think the deep relaxation that sets in post-orgasm can be helpful for squirting, and so can the heightened levels of physical arousal/engorgement.

Remember, the Goal is Pleasure: Squirting is cool, but it’s not a big deal if you can’t do it, or haven’t learned yet. Beating yourself up about not being able to squirt (or, worse: a partner criticizing you for not being able to squirt) is pointless, because the point of all of this is to feel good and have fun. If trying to make yourself squirt is lessening your fun and/or pleasure, let go of that imperative if you can, and re-focus on feeling good. You might squirt, or you might not, but either way, it’ll be time well-spent if you were focused on enjoying yourself. And, as with falling in love, you might just squirt for the first time when you’ve released all expectations of doing so.

 

Toys

G-Spot Dildos:

  • The Njoy Pure Wand is widely considered one of the best squirt-inducing toys on the market. It has an intense curve that helps it locate your G-spot easily, is made of ultra-firm stainless steel, and has two differently-sized ends so you can experiment to figure out whether your G-spot prefers broader pressure or more pinpointed sensations. Its shape also makes it relatively easy to use on oneself or to have a partner use on you. Just keep in mind that you may have to test out different motions to find your favorite: if standard in-and-out thrusting feels weird, try rocking it in a C-shape, pressing the ball rhythmically against your G-spot, or massaging the ball in a circular motion against that spot. (Note: do not try to buy a Pure Wand from Amazon, as there’s no guarantee you’ll get an authentic one; most Amazon toys claiming to be the Pure Wand are low-quality counterfeit copies. And certainly do not get the Le Wand knockoff of the Pure Wand, as it’s a plagiarized design that is, incomprehensibly, more expensive than the real thing.)
  • The NobEssence Seduction is another toy that can reliably make me squirt. It’s quite firm and deeply curved like the Pure Wand, but is a lot lighter because it’s made of wood, so I find it easier to thrust with. Since it’s handmade in small batches and is therefore often sold out, I’ll note that the Dee Lee Doo Habu is similar, and cheaper.
  • The Pipedream Icicles No. 70 has a very similar shape to the NobEssence Seduction, above, but is made of glass and is much less pricey.
  • The Lelo Ella has a broad, flat head that might feel better for you if slimmer implements (like fingers or small dildos) have felt too pokey or triggered too much of that “need-to-pee” sensation for you. It’s also gentler than the other toys on this list because it’s made of silicone (albeit pretty firm silicone) and its neck has a bit of flexibility to it.
  • If your budget is very limited, try this $26 glass dildo – it has an excellent G-spot curve and is easy to thrust, plus you can use the other end if you’re ever in the mood for less G-spot-focused stimulation. Another great option is the Sinclair Institute Crystal G, which has an even deeper curve and costs just $30.
  • If you’re a size queen/king/monarch, you’d probably dig the legendary Njoy Eleven, the first toy that ever made me squirt. Like the Pure Wand, it’s made of super-firm stainless steel, but it gets its squirt-inducing powers moreso from its massive girth than from a curve (though it does have a slight curve to it). Of course, since this dildo is huge and made of metal, it’s pretty heavy and can be hard to thrust, especially if you have hand strength issues like me – but my partner loves to pound me with it, and can reliably make me squirt that way.
  • Speaking of hand strength issues, if you lack the ability to thrust a dildo fast/hard/for a sustained amount of time, I’d recommend investing in a Fun Factory Stronic G. This thing is an auto-thrusting device that trembles against the G-spot rhythmically, and it can usually make me squirt even if I’m having such a bad chronic pain flare-up that I can’t physically hold a dildo.
  • The Lelo Mona 2 is technically a G-spot vibrator, not a dildo, but its shape is so fantastic for G-spot stimulation that it can make me squirt with or without the vibrations turned on. Some people find that vibrations on their G-spot make squirting easier to achieve; I think this is the best tool for the job if that’s the case for you.

Clitoral Toys:

  • If you already have a clit toy you love, there’s no need to buy a different one for the sake of learning to squirt. It’s all about what reliably turns you on and feels good for you. So pair your favorite clit vibe with one of the G-spot toys listed above, or another G-spot toy you enjoy, and give it a shot.
  • That being said, my all-time fave clitoral toy is the Eroscillator Top Deluxe. It oscillates instead of vibrating, so it doesn’t cause me as much numbness/desensitization as many other clit toys do, and its oscillations also seem to get deeper into my internal clitoris, which I think helps with squirting.
  • The We-Vibe Tango X has powerful, rumbly vibrations, and is small enough to be unobtrusive when paired with a G-spot dildo, so I think it’s a fantastic addition to any squirting sesh.
  • For a budget pick, I like the BMS Factory Essential Bullet. It’s a simple bullet vibe with an impressive motor for its $25 price tag.
  • Some people prefer the more subtle sensations of pressure-wave stimulation over vibration, especially when trying to focus moreso on G-spot pleasure. In this category, I love the We-Vibe Melt, Womanizer Premium 2, Lora DiCarlo Baci and Lelo Sila.

 

Fellow squirters, what toys, tips and techniques helped you most in learning to squirt?

Busting 5 Common Myths About the G-Spot

Kate Sloan

The G-spot is one of the most misunderstood parts of sexual anatomy, so let’s dive into some of the most common G-spot myths and why they’re total garbage!

 

Myth #1: G-spot stimulation is always pleasurable for everybody who has a G-spot.

Here’s a pro tip when it comes to sex: literally any sentence that begins with “everyone likes…” or “no one likes…” is false. So, although the G-spot is often framed as this holy grail of pleasure for many people with vulvas, it’s important to know that it’s not a magic button that you can just press and expect fireworks.

Many people – including me, at one point – find G-spot stimulation uncomfortable, annoying, or even painful. This doesn’t automatically mean they won’t find penetration pleasurable at all, though; there are other internal erogenous zones worth exploring, such as the A-spot and the posterior fornix.

 

Myth #2: It’ll feel good from the get-go.

I especially need cis men to understand this: please do not start poking ‘n’ stroking the G-spot of someone who is not already turned on, unless you know for a fact that they want you to do so.

Like many other erogenous zones, the G-spot typically responds best to stimulation that happens once you’re already aroused, both physically and mentally. For me personally, it really is the difference between “ow ow ow stop that right now” and “oh my god please never stop.”

Get turned on (or get your partner turned on) using whatever methods reliably work for you. For most vulva-owners, this will involve some amount of clitoral stimulation – and in many cases it can feel good to continue stimulating the clit while you start to touch the G-spot. I would also suggest using a lot of lube and starting slowly, like with just one finger and minimal pressure against the spot, until you’re ready for more.

 

Myth #3: G-spot orgasms are superior to clitoral orgasms.

Remember that time a cis male neurologist from 19th-century Austria theorized that clitoral orgasms were “immature” and that becoming an adult meant getting off from vaginal penetration alone? And remember how this crackpot theory has continued to shape present-day sexual discourse, leading millions of women to feel like they’re broken because their bodies work in completely normal ways? Cool cool cool. Thanks, Freud, that’s super helpful of you. 😬

What we know now, based on modern science (including the practice of, y’know, actually listening to the stories and experiences of people with vulvas, rather than making up psychoanalytic lore about how their genitals are wrong), that the clitoris is the anatomical equivalent of the penis. The two structures literally develop from the same tissues in utero, and share some commonalities, namely: they both provide the majority of sexual pleasure for the majority of people who have them.

While we’re on the subject, let’s clear up a few more misconceptions about G-spot stimulation vs. clitoral stimulation. First of all, you can combine the two, and many people have their best G-spot experiences when the two are paired. Secondly, not everyone can have G-spot orgasms, and there is nothing wrong with you if you can’t. And thirdly, researchers have yet to firmly conclude whether the G-spot is its own structure or is in fact part of the internal clitoral network, but ultimately it doesn’t really matter because it’s still a spot that feels good for many people to touch. Let’s focus less on pedantic semantics and more on pleasure, mmkay?

 

Myth #4: G-spot stimulation always results in squirting, or squirting only happens from G-spot stimulation.

Nope and nope. Not everyone can squirt, either because they just haven’t stumbled upon the right technique to make it happen for them yet, or because they’re simply not set up for it anatomically. (For example, I once heard the porn star Nina Hartley, who used to be a nurse, saying that she believes the reason she can’t squirt is that her urethra is located too close to her vagina, so whatever’s stimulating her G-spot gets in the way of the spray and stops it from coming out.)

If you want to squirt, or to help somebody else squirt, typically the best thing to do is to build a lot of arousal beforehand and then stimulate the G-spot really hard and fast for long enough to induce squirting. The ejaculation itself does not automatically coincide with orgasm; I tend to squirt the most after I’ve orgasmed, for instance.

Some people are able to squirt without G-spot stimulation being involved at all – such as from touching their clit, A-spot, or perineum. This may have something to do with the G-spot’s aforementioned integration in the internal clitoral network.

 

Myth #5: You have to have a big dick to hit the G-spot.

This one really depends on anatomy. I’m not going to lie to you and say that nobody will require a dick to be big in order for it to hit their spot the way they like.

That said, the G-spot is only about 2-3 inches inside the vagina, so you don’t have to have a long dick to hit it – and in fact, I’ve often found that short-to-average-length dicks hit mine the best, because the head of their cock strokes over that spot without much effort on every thrust, whereas longer dicks tend to hit my A-spot instead.

A penis also does not necessarily need to be thick to stimulate the G-spot. Angles that tilt your dick toward the front wall of the vagina can achieve a lot. Not to mention – say it with me now – fingers and sex toys exist! If you’re thinking of your cock as the only sexual tool you have at your disposal, you’re limiting your partner’s pleasure, and your own, a great deal.

 

What G-spot myths have you heard?

 

This post was sponsored by the folks at Honey Play Box, who are offering Girly Juice readers 20% off all products right now with the coupon code JUICE20. As always, all writing and opinions here are my own.