impact play

Review: Glittertops BDSM Gear Heart Paddle

Kate Sloan

Unique toys for impact play are one of my favorite types of item to collect. When you’ve worked in the sex toy biz for a long time, sometimes visiting sex shops can be monotonous, compared to the juicy joy it used to inspire – but the impact toy section is often nonetheless full of surprising treasures. Nine times out of ten, I’d much rather walk out carrying a new cherrywood truncheon made by a local artisan, or an exquisitely soft suede flogger with a bejewelled handle, than yet another silicone dildo or middling vibrator.

So, obviously, I was delighted when I learned about Glittertops BDSM Gear. This 100% trans-owned-and-operated business makes beautiful acrylic paddles full of glitter or rose petals or four-leaf clovers, which would be exciting enough on its own… but it gets better. You can ask them to put just about anything you can think of (within reason, and within the constraints of physics) into one of their products: as per the company’s owner, this may include “flowers, leaves, glitter, lettering, holographic stuff, inks, glow-in-the-dark pigments, UV pigments, etc.” So you can get yourself a paddle that is wonderfully, wackily unique to you and your tastes. Incredible!!

I was so overcome by the possibilities that it took me a while to decide what I wanted. I considered Reese’s Pieces, a favorite snack of mine. I considered blue flowers, since they’re an important symbol in my relationship. But ultimately, I couldn’t think of anything I’d want more in a paddle than Scrabble tiles. And what better words to have them spell out than my favorite honorific – the one I feel so strongly about that I got it tattooed on my thighs – “good girl”?

Jay at Glittertops asked me a few questions about layout and background, and then the finished paddle arrived in my hands sooner than I even thought possible. Y’all, it is STUNNING. Heart-shaped with a smaller heart cutout at the center, blue and pink glitter on a pale blue background, iconic Scrabble tiles down the whole length, and a lovely pink and blue braided handle. A true work of art, and unmistakably “me.” 😍

This is a fairly light paddle, though it has enough heft to feel impactful nonetheless. The design makes it slightly top-heavy, allowing for stronger hits with minimal effort, and the heart cutout makes it more aerodynamic so you can land harder hits. The handle is gently contoured and easy to keep a good grip on.

It’s pretty stingy, being as flat and light as it is, but has enough weight to it that the stinginess is grounded by some slight thud that makes it pleasurable instead of annoying (for me, at least). You can also turn it sideways for a much thuddier sensation, though it’s harder to hold that way.

I haven’t played with this paddle hard enough to cause bruising, but I think it would leave a nice heart-shaped mark, if your hits were consistently precise enough. Valentine’s gift, anyone?!

Perhaps my favorite thing about Glittertops Gear, however, is their Cannapaddle. It’s a paddle containing a dried marijuana leaf – so, perfect for the kinky stoner in your life! – and, wonderfully, 20% of the profits of each Cannapaddle are donated to the Washtenaw County Mutual Aid Re-Entry Fund, which helps cover the basic expenses of people returning from prison so they can get back on their feet. “Marijuana is recreationally legal in our state,” Jay told me, “but at Glittertops we believe it’s unacceptable that we can craft paddles that feature cannabis leaves but there are still thousands of POC in prison for minor marijuana-related offenses.” I could not agree more.

If you’re craving a Glittertops paddle – and they’re a reasonable thing to crave, given how excellent they are – you’re in luck! The code “GIRLYJUICE” (enter it at checkout) will get you a 20% discount on their products from now until Valentine’s Day (February 14th). Why not buy yourself (or a friend or partner) something pretty to get hit with?

 

Thanks so much to the folks at Glittertops Gear for making me this gorgeous paddle!

The Fine Art of the Romantic Bruise Selfie

Kate Sloan

Content note: this post discusses, and contains photos of, bruising – only the happy, consensual kind, but bruising nonetheless. I encourage you to take care of yourself and skip this one if that’s tough subject matter for you.

 

“Aftercare” in kink is a somewhat nebulous concept, deliberately so: its definition varies from kinkster to kinkster, as do its purpose and scope. I know people for whom aftercare is, by necessity, a lengthy cuddling session filled with kisses and compliments – and I also know people for whom it is “Thanks for the good time; see ya!” followed by street meat and a volley of texts to a friend. It can be whatever you want it to be, as long as it works for everyone involved.

It’s important to remember, too, that aftercare can be an immediately-afterwards thing, or it can be a quite-a-while-afterwards thing, or both. The blissed-out cuddle sesh after a kink scene might satisfy your body and your snuggly neurotransmitters, but your rational brain might want additional aftercare a few days later in the form of, say, a text dissecting what went right and what went wrong. Sometimes those texts contain pictures of bruises.

It’s been said (I think by Jillian Keenan?) that bruises are to kinksters what hickeys are to vanilla people: tangible proof that a particular encounter happened, that someone likes you enough to have marked you in this very romantic and/or erotic way, that you are desired and desirable. Sending “bruise selfies” the day after a scene – like sending “hickey selfies” the day after a makeout session – can convey a flirty message: I like you and I like what we did together.

But bruise pics also serve another, more kink-specific function: they’re a way that a submissive or bottom can communicate more info, post-scene, to their dominant or top. “Even though what you did to me probably would’ve looked scary, dangerous, or even abusive to an uninformed outsider,” these photographic missives seem to say, “I loved it, I’m glad we did it, and I love the results.” Tops are being immensely vulnerable and brave when they communicate their desires and then act on them; sending bruise pictures is one way of showing them that their bravery was well-received and was worth it. This can teach them, over time, that it’s okay to be even more brave, even more often.

“It makes me proud of our time together and I love knowing they’re thinking of me.” -@stryker_von

“When topping, it’s an affirmation that they had a Really Good Time and are still thinking about it. That’s a great feeling! As a bottom, it feels like a little wink to our complicity in a scene – “Look at what we did to my body, together. Isn’t it pretty?” -@tinygorgon

“I sometimes get self-conscious and worry that I have hurt them too much. My other reaction is wow, they endured that much for me and were so wonderful 😍” -@cewa1308

Once you go out into “the real world” with your bruises, you’re apt to encounter all kinds of pushback – family might scoff or stare if they spot the damage, doctors might pry or even assume you’re in an abusive relationship, and your other partners (if you have any) might wonder why you didn’t leave them more real estate on your skin for marks of their own! But in those first, pure moments of mutual bruise enjoyment that ensue when you snap a pic the morning after and send it to the bruise’s creator, you don’t have to feel guilty or self-conscious about the perverted masterpiece that has bloomed on your body – you can just bask in its beauty together.

Taking pictures of your bruises is also a gift to your future self, because – if you’re anything like me – someday you’ll love having a record of your kinky journey over the years. I’m less prone to bruising now than I was in my early twenties, in part because I simply don’t play as hard as I used to, so I love paging through my old bruise shots as a reminder of how strong I am and how much I am capable of enduring. The people who gave me those marks have mostly disappeared from my life, but the memories, and the photographic evidence, remain – allowing me to celebrate my own resilience whenever I revisit them.

I’m insecure and perpetually unsure if I’m actually a “good submissive.” But in those photos, I can see evidence that I am, in stark black and white. (Or black and blue, as the case may be.)

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

12 Days of Girly Juice 2018: 1 Fantastic Toy Company

Kate Sloan

Every December, I choose and highlight one company whose products tangibly improved my year, and that I think all my readers need to know about. Usually it’s a tricky decision, but the astute among you could probably already guess what company I chose, because I’ve been harping on about them all year long: Weal & Breech and L’Amour-Propre.

“But Kate!” you might be saying. “That’s two companies!” Yes, technically. But they’re run by the same duo, Josh and Tal, both excellent humans who make kinky trinkets here in my hometown of Toronto. And frankly, I couldn’t pick just one!

L’Amour-Propre deals primarily in acrylic pins and suede collars, each of which I have several of. My first item from them was a turquoise suede collar, bought basically as a fashion accessory late last year. However, as my relationship with my then-new partner developed, more and more products by this delightful little company became important in the story of our ~looove~. My darlin’ bought me a “Pun Slut” pin, for example, because he understands my soul. And when we decided we both wanted him to collar me, this royal blue suede collar was the only option we ever seriously considered. I still vividly remember the way he stared at me in the NoMad dining room as we discussed our collaring plans – like he couldn’t wait to wrap that suede around my neck and own me.

That collar was beautiful and served us well. But we were even more thrilled when, a few months later, we inquired about a custom upgrade because the suede wasn’t quite holding up to the sweaty wear-and-tear we’d put it through. Tal sought out a gorgeous blue leather at our request, and made a new collar for me that has thus far proved much hardier. We greatly appreciated Tal’s willingness to make our dream collar a reality.

Another fave kinky accessory of mine comes from L’Amour-Propre too: a heart-shaped lock we had engraved with the word “Daddy’s.” I wear mine on a chain around my neck to occasions where my regular collar might look out of place or not quite fancy enough. I adore it.

As a side note: Tal also does custom-engraved pins, which are ideal if you’re going to an event and want to clearly telegraph your name, Twitter handle, pronouns, or any other crucial information. And their new leather bookmarks are a kinky bookworm’s dream.

Weal & Breech, meanwhile, makes impact toys more gorgeous than any I have ever seen. I’ve collected several of their products over the two years they’ve been in business: a sturdy and stingy paddle, a sensually smooth truncheon, and a terrifying pair of nipple clamps. All of mine are made of purpleheart wood, because I enjoy the matchy-ness of that, and because it’s visually stunning.

Most recently, though, my partner reached out to W&B’s founder Josh to inquire about an anniversary gift for me. The company had recently Instagrammed prototypes of a hefty new mallet they had in the works, and both my BF and I had drooled over ’em and wanted one real bad. My partner asked if Josh could make one for me, and Josh – who I think of as the Ollivander of impact toys – knew, of course, that it should be made of purpleheart to match my other pieces. The final, perfect touch is a wrist strap made of the same blue leather as my collar – another thing my partner didn’t even have to request. Josh and Tal are sweetheart-geniuses. My mallet is unimaginably beautiful, and easily the thuddiest impact toy I own. Swoooon!

What was your favorite sex toy company of the year?

12 Days of Girly Juice 2018: 9 Best New Sex Toys

Kate Sloan

Today is one of the most exciting instalments of 12 Days of Girly Juice: I’m picking my top 9 favorite sex toys I acquired within the past year! These toys stood out from the slush pile, and are worth hyping up. Let’s start from the bottom of the list…

9. Liberator Axis. I already have plenty of Liberator products so I wasn’t expecting this one to change my life too much, but it turns out I don’t have anything quite like it. For something that seems so simple – it’s essentially a slanted piece of firm foam you can stick your Magic Wand into – it has many exciting uses. From spanking to doggie-style sex to jerking off with my head buried in a pillow, I’ve enjoyed each and every way I’ve used this neat little accessory. (Available at SheVibe, Peepshow, and the Smitten Kitten.)

8. Kronic Sensations turquoise and pink flogger. I hemmed and hawed over whether to get this when I saw it at Kink, because… how many impact toys does a girl actually need?! But after both a friend and my boyfriend said “You have to get that,” I succumbed, and I’m glad I did. It’s made of thick, heavy suede in my two favorite colors, it looks great hanging in my room, and it provides a reliably thuddy thwack that satisfies me as both a top and a bottom. Ya nailed it, Kronic Sensations geniuses. (Similar floggers available via the maker.)

7. Funkit Toys NoFrillDo B. I bought this late last year; I remember that I trekked home after the exhausting New York trip where I first met my Sir, and my new NoFrillDo was waiting for me when I arrived. I took a bath with it, and shortly thereafter, it became the first toy I ever used while sexting with my Sir – so it holds a special place in my heart! But beyond sentimental value, this is a sturdy silicone workhouse of a dildo that strokes my G-spot with precision and is girthy enough to feel really good when my vag clenches around it. (Available at SheVibe, Peepshow, and direct from Funkit Toys.)

6. We-Vibe Anniversary Collection. I only received this recently but it’s already one of my fave acquisitions of the year. It contains sparkly purple versions of what I think are We-Vibe’s two best vibrators – the Tango and the Sync – packaged in a travel-friendly carrying case that doubles as the toys’ charger. These vibes have thrillingly rumbly motors and look and feel beautiful in use. Thanks, We-Vibe! (Available at SheVibe and Peepshow.)

5. Viktoria Torments leather-wrapped baton. I bought this at a tradeshow late last year and it’s become one of my favorite impact toys. It’s possibly the thuddiest implement I own, and – uncharacteristically for this type of toy, in my experience – it also bruises nicely. If you ever want a stingy sensation at a moment’s notice, you can also flip the toy around and hit someone with the smooth wooden handle. What a dream! (Available at Kink.)

4. Neon Wand. I figured, before I tried electrostimulation, that I’d either love it or hate it; the reality is somewhere in between. Judged purely on its immediate physical sensations, it’s not my favorite type of pain – but it undeniably takes me down into subspace more quickly and effectively than lots of other sadomasochistic activities. Perhaps because I don’t fully understand it and thus am always slightly scared of it, it brings me into a helpless headspace with alarming efficiency. My sadistic boyfriend loves this, of course. (Available at SheVibe and Come As You Are.)

3. Doxy #3. As with many Doxy products, this one has some mechanical problems, which I outlined in my review and which have actually led to many shops ceasing to stock this wand. But I’ve basically learned to work around these issues, as one does with a beloved cardigan that’s missing a button or a TV that only works when its antenna is contorted just so. This miniature wand vibe’s travel-friendly stature and thrumming motor have made it a favorite companion when I travel to see my boyfriend. It’s also one of the first gifts he ever got me – an impromptu Christmas gift, a mere 12 days after we met – so I love it for that reason, too. Thanks, Sir. (Available at SheVibe.)

2. Uberrime Night King. My pals at Peepshow Toys sent this to me and I love it way more than I was expecting it to. It’s long enough to target my A-spot astonishingly well, and the shape is dick-like enough to allow me to fantasize about cocks but still has all that unique texture to keep things interesting. My Sir says I make good noises when I use this toy! Review to come in the new year… (Available at Peepshow.)

1. Weal & Breech purpleheart truncheon. Whoops, my #1 sex toy of the year is an impact toy; guess I’m kinky! I bought this at the Playground Conference in February, at my Sir’s behest, and it became a near-instant fave. The hefty wood feels thuddy, but the smooth finish gives it some sting, too. It’s easy to swing, and looks sexy as hell. I’m so looking forward to seeing what Weal & Breech come up with next – and hopefully trying one of their butt-punching mallets! (Similar products available at Come As You Are and from Weal & Breech directly.)

What toys did you love most this year?

Intimate Intercourse: Hypnokink (Part 3)

Kate Sloan

Hello again! Welcome back to Intimate Intercourse, a series where I interview my boyfriend/Sir/daddy, who goes by Super Sleepy Dude, about various topics related to sex and kink. This week we’re discussing hypnokink! This is the final part of a 3-part interview; you can read part 1 here and part 2 here. In this instalment, we discuss combining hypnosis with other kinks, how to ensure ongoing consent in a hypno scene, hypno aftercare, resources we recommend, how to cultivate a hypnotic voice, and the role intoxication plays in our hypno play. Enjoy! Content note for this post: hypnosis (obviously), impact play, Daddy Dom/little girl roleplay, sleepy sex, bondage, axe violence (!), and marijuana/intoxication.

Kate Sloan: So – we’ve been talking about this a little bit already, but – how do you like to combine hypnosis with our other kinks? I know we’ve combined it with impact a fair bit…

Super Sleepy: I think the best combination that we did with impact was pretty recently. You had said that impact I was giving you was already making you feel trancey – because, as you alluded to earlier, flow state, subspace, trance, they’re all names for gradations of the same feeling, the same state. And so, sometimes the brain recognizes it as one or another one or whatever, but it’s kind of the same. It’s a hyperfocused state where a lot of stuff fades away and things feel really good, and like they’re working. And the particular thing that you’re focusing on, and the particular emotional valence of it, are dependent on the context. But you were feeling like the impact I was giving you over the phone was pretty trancey. Maybe it was the rhythm, maybe it was just your mood that night, but we decided to lean into that and actually use that impact as an induction. I think that worked out really well, and I’m really looking forward to doing that in person, where we use impact as a way to make you really sleepy.

KS: We also combine hypnosis with DD/lg a lot, but not super overtly; just kind of ‘cause our relationship is DD/lg.

SS: Yeah. Daddy often wants to make his little girl sleepy before bedtime, and then often fuck her, maybe while she’s somewhat unaware of that. You know?

KS: [giggling] Mmhmm! A lot of people are concerned about consent with hypnosis…

SS: Same.

KS: So, you do the pre-scene negotiation, but how do you ensure consent when the scene is actually going on?

SS: Ongoing consent. Yeah. This is one of the toughest things to do. It’s similar to ensuring ongoing consent in any case where you’re gagging somebody or you’re taking away some obvious way that they’re able to show that – blindfolding them or putting a bag over their head or a mask or whatever. The best practice, and what I try to do, is phrase the suggestions with safeguards. So, your trance trigger, for instance, originally and every time it’s reinforced, is phrased like: “You will get sleepy and trancey and go into trance for me, as long as you’re in a place where it’s safe to do that.” If you’re not, you don’t have to do that, and also, if you don’t consent, then it’s obviously not safe, so you can opt out of it. The other thing you can do is, you can talk to somebody that’s in trance. They won’t quite be the same as if they’re in the negotiation mode, or fully aware of what’s going on. It’s sort of like talking to somebody that’s in subspace; you gotta phrase things very clearly, and you have to be aware of the differences in their mindset, but you can – while keeping somebody in trance – do check-ins, as long as you know how to talk to them about what you’re checking in about. So I do that a lot.

KS: What would be an example of that?

SS: An example of that would be, if you had somebody in hypnotic bondage, you could say something like, “It seems like you’re feeling really good right now, and that not being able to move is making you feel happy and comfortable. Is that right?” And if you hear an enthusiastic “yes,” that’s great. If you hear a hesitation, that’s when you might want to either press further or bring the person out of trance, because you’re not usually gonna get a “no” in that case. You’re using hypnotic language, and the person’s in trance; you wanna listen for the tiny hesitations. We’ve been in a lot of scenes where you’ve hesitated, and usually it’s like, “My phone is falling,” or “I need to charge my phone,” or whatever. It’s not a gigantic consent issue, but there’s these tiny hesitations, which, in a normal scene, would maybe be much easier to hear; you gotta listen a little bit harder in a hypno scene, though.

KS: And we established a safeword, which I don’t even remember now…

SS: Purple!

KS: Yeah? Okay. I think we should have it be any color that isn’t red, green, or yellow, because the fact that I couldn’t remember it now makes me worry that I wouldn’t remember it in trance.

SS: Sure, yeah.

KS: So that was just supposed to mean “I need to talk to you, so I need you to take me out of trance so I can talk to you.” I don’t remember what happened that prompted that, but there’s occasionally been stuff like, one of my roommate’s cats is in my room and I have to let her out, or…

SS: Yeah, there’s stuff like that, or, do you wanna talk about the time that you had an abreaction, like a really scary thing happened in a visualization?

KS: Yeah. You were making me picture going down in an elevator, as a deepener, and you had the elevator door open on a few different floors, and there was no reason for this to happen – I hadn’t been watching a scary movie or anything – but I saw this nun dressed in head-to-toe white on one of the floors, with the habit over her face, she had no face… It was really scary!

SS: That’s creepy, yeah.

KS: It was some American Horror Story shit. And then, when I got all the way down to the bottom of the building, I still felt like the nun was in my room, holding an axe over me. I couldn’t open my eyes, ‘cause I was in trance, so I couldn’t check to see if there was actually a nun in my room. But yeah, I got really freaked out, and I didn’t know how to communicate that to you, ‘cause that’s quite complicated and weird, and you were trying to do a sexy thing, and I was just panicking. Pretty weird.

SS: Yeah. Stuff like that can happen, especially if you’re having people visualize situations and you don’t control very tightly what you’re telling them. It’s good to have ways to communicate that, even if the person is in trance. Reminding people who are in trance that their safewords will still work, that they can still say them… I would be hesitant to ever take away somebody’s ability to talk in a hypno context. To make somebody unable to talk – that’s possible, but then you have to figure out alternate safe-signals, and that’s a pretty risky thing to do.

KS: Especially over the phone, yeah.

SS: Over the phone, don’t do it. Like, just don’t do it. I would never do it. One more thing on this: one thing I always worry about is getting disconnected. This comes from, I think, my Omegle experiences, also, because I would trance people on Omegle and they would disconnect at very random times, probably on purpose sometimes, probably accidentally other times – whatever, internet issues, people refreshing the page or whatever. But having somebody in trance and not being able to bring them up correctly and give them proper aftercare is not good. It’s not good for anybody. It’s not good for the top, it’s not good for the bottom, it’s not good for the brain, really. So, even though the physical risks are usually pretty low – the brain will realize that’s happening and usually wake itself up and it’s fine – it doesn’t feel good. So I’m always worried we’ll get disconnected, and it has happened a few times, but usually not in the middle of a situation where you’re bound and wouldn’t be able to answer the phone. That’s the times I worry about it the most.

KS: Yeah. I think it would be okay.

SS: It would probably be fine.

KS: Yeah. What does hypno aftercare look like?

SS: Hypno aftercare is pretty verbal, in my experience. Touch, if you can do it, but if you’re long-distance, it’s pretty verbal. It’s a lot of making sure the person is actually awake, if they want to be. Sometimes we do hypno and then you immediately go to sleep – I hypnotize you in order to make you go to sleep for real – but in the cases that it’s not like that, and we’re doing aftercare, you wanna make sure the person is awake and able to go about their night or their day in a way where they’re not gonna hear suggestions in the world and still feel really suggestible. You wanna get them back to a rational baseline for their personality, and you want to uninstall any temporary triggers and make sure that you leave them in an operable state.

KS: Yeah. I actually don’t really like the times when you put me to sleep and then we immediately go to sleep. I’m only just thinking about this now. Because what ends up happening every single time is, the phone going dead startles me, and then I wake up and I’m alone and we haven’t done aftercare, and I’m really sad.

SS: Okay, so let’s not do that.

KS: Yeah. ‘Cause it’s also subspacey me feeling like a failure because I didn’t do the thing I was supposed to do. So it’s just a lot of bad feelings.

SS: Yeah, let’s not do that anymore.

KS: Yeah. Anything else we didn’t talk about?

SS: Resources!

KS: Yeah. ‘Cause we’re not doing any kind of introductory or instructional stuff in this interview, really.

SS: Right, yeah. Go read Mind Play by Mark Wiseman. Hypnotic Amnesia by Pynch and Lee Allure. If you’re in a big city, there’s probably either a conference or a regular hypnokinky meetup on FetLife that you can find. If you’re not, go to one in a big city. There’s a lot of hypnokinky people out there. A final thing on resources: the Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive is really great, and there’s tons of great stories there, and you should read them and enjoy them, but what they say is kind of true – it’s erotica, it’s porn, it’s not how you should actually conduct yourself, in terms of actually running real hypno scenes. So, read it, enjoy it, jerk off to it, but if you actually wanna do stuff, there are practical resources that I just mentioned.

KS: Oh, I wanted to ask you about your voice.

SS: [sexy voice] What about it?

KS: Have I asked you about your voice in every interview we’ve done for this series?

SS: Maybe.

KS: Tell me about the hypno voice. What’s up with the voice? What do you do differently?

SS: I don’t know! I don’t know. What do I do differently, little one?

KS: I don’t know. I thought you would have a description on tap.

SS: People who do a lot of hypnosis develop a voice, generally, to do it with, that is different from their normal voice. It’s useful to do that because, if you want to get somebody trancey, you can just drop into that voice and they’ll start going there right away. [deeper, slower voice] Like, if I start talking to Kate like this, she’ll probably already start to blink, and get a little bit sleepy, and that’s okay… [regular voice] Open. Good. So… I have a voice! It’s useful! But I don’t know how to describe it, really, ‘cause it’s sort of just a slower, more calming version of my voice. You know?

KS: Yeah. I like it. Oh, one more thing! You often have me smoke weed before we do hypno stuff, because we found that it makes me more suggestible and go into trance more easily.

SS: We did. Most people don’t find that. Most people find that alcohol and drugs make them less susceptible to hypnosis, not more, because for a lot of people, it makes it harder for them to focus, or it dulls their senses or whatever. So that’s a very individualized thing, and I would say, if you do stuff with drugs and also hypnosis, it’s partner-by-partner and you gotta experiment. We have found, in our very particular case of you being a subject, that it generally makes it easier for you to drop for me.

KS: But there are limits. If I get too high then that’s not always good. Then I can’t focus.

SS: Right, exactly.

KS: That’s all my questions, unless there’s something else you wanted to talk about. I feel like you just wanna go trance me right now.

SS: Mmhmm. I do. One other thing is, the common misconception is that hypnosis is mind control; there’s a lot of media that reinforces that idea. And it’s not. It’s giving someone suggestions that they are consenting to. On the flipside of that, there’s another misconception, which is that you can’t make somebody do anything in hypnosis that they don’t want to do, which a lot of abusers use in order to cover up consent violations, and is also not true. So the consent ethics are complicated, as they often are, and I would encourage people, if they’re trying this for the first time, to go into it with really highly highly negotiated scenes.

KS: Yeah. I think of it like subspace, in the sense that you can also make people do things they don’t wanna do, of their free will, in subspace, because that’s just how abusive dynamics work sometimes, and I don’t think it’s any different.

SS: Yeah. It’s a very good analogy. I think that’s basically right. And so you should treat hypno scenes like kink scenes, in terms of consent, and you shouldn’t do what the non-kinky erotic hypnosis community does, which is, like, ignore everything that the kink community has learned about consent negotiations and stuff.

KS: Yup. I very much appreciate that you’re always very careful about that stuff.

SS: Yeah.

KS: Okay. Thank you!

SS: You’re welcome, little one.

KS: I love you.

SS: I love you too.