kink

Review: Tantus Pelt

Kate Sloan

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I once read about a French tradition in a fashion magazine, where you buy a red Chanel lipstick for a baby girl when she’s born and then give it to her when she’s old enough to rock it.

I was reminded of that custom when I got my Tantus Pelt paddle, because I want to buy one for every spanking enthusiast in my life. Top or bottom, dom or sub, casual dabbler or full-on kinkster: they all need one of these.

You might remember that I own a few Tantus paddles. I wasn’t a big fan of the Snap Strap – too long and stingy for my liking – so I gave it to a friend, and I hear she digs it. I was more partial to the Wham Bam, but even that was stingier than I typically prefer. And while the actual paddlin’ end of the Plunge works well for me, I was perplexed by the handle-that-doubles-as-a-dildo.

The Pelt, however, is my Goldilocks paddle.

I’m not the only one who feels this way about it. I used it on Bex, and Penny used it on me, live on Periscope right after I bought it, and we all adored it. When I brought it to Playground Prom and folks tried it out on each other on the dance floor, more than one person asked me where I had gotten it. I’ve brought it to my dom fuckbuddy’s house on multiple occasions and we’ve loved using it together. I even brought it to my first porn shoot and ended up with a tasty bruise.

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There is just so much about the Pelt that Tantus got perfectly right. For one thing: the material. All of Tantus’ paddles are made of matte black silicone. It looks and feels sexy and understated, and it can be boiled or bleached if you need to sanitize it between partners. The matte finish gives it enough grippiness that you probably won’t lose your grasp on it unless you get very sweaty or lube-y. The silicone is thick and firm enough to pack a real punch, but flexible enough that it gathers momentum with every stroke.

That momentum is the secret to the Pelt’s success. You don’t have to put much muscle into your swing to get a sizeable smack out of it. Its small size also makes it easier to manoeuver than the longer paddles Tantus makes, so I think this is the best paddle in the range for someone who has issues with strength or mobility: you don’t need a ton of brawn or co-ordination to use it. But if you do put some serious vigor into a Pelt wallop, you’ll get even more bang for your buck than you would with a rigid paddle.

As I mentioned, I’ve been on both sides of the Pelt, so I’ve come to appreciate its virtues both in the hand and on the butt. Aside from the aforementioned momentum awesomeness, I also like using it as a top because it’s just so damn comfortable to hold. The handle is slightly thicker and firmer than the business end, so it doesn’t flop or squish – Tantus’ designers are geniuses. The handle has squared-off edges but they don’t dig into my hand uncomfortably. Sometimes I like to pull the paddle’s end back toward me with one hand and then let it pop forward, like a slingshot, and that’s super fun and highly effective. And the Pelt makes some of the most satisfying impact sounds I have ever heard.

Bottom-wise, I get all swoony for the Pelt. It’s stingier and often more painful than traditional hand spankings or fist poundings, but if I’m properly warmed up, I can handle it. I sometimes like to have my skin stroked in between hits so I don’t get overstimulated, and the Pelt’s silky surface is lovely for that. This paddle warms and reddens my skin pretty quickly, which I totally dig. And while it can leave bruises and welts if used in the right way, it’s not so thuddy that marks are unavoidable.

In addition to all these great qualities, I also love that the Pelt is easy to wash, squishy enough that you can fold it up to fit it into a small bag, and (don’t make fun of me) has a sexy name. (I could never get down with the name of the Plunge. It reminded me of clogged toilets.)

The Pelt is my favorite paddle. My desert-island spanking implement. My interest in spanking has really ramped up over the past few months, and this wonderful tool has been my right-hand man during that journey. I own a lot of paddles but this is the one I most often tuck into my bag before sex-dates or pull out of my storage drawers for sex-visitors. It’s my one true paddle love, and I know it’s going to see me through plenty more adventures in my lifetime.

Monthly Faves: Spanking, Sexpo & Sideboob

Kate Sloan

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September was very sweet to me! (More like Sextember, am I right?!) Here’s what I enjoyed this month…

 

Toys

• It’s rare that I put a toy on this list that isn’t genitally-focused, but I would be remiss not to mention the glory that is the Tantus Pelt. I snapped one up this month after quietly lusting over it since its release, and it is absolutely the perfect paddle for me. The size, weight, thickness, and stingy-to-thuddy ratio are all on-point. Oh Tantus, you pervy geniuses.

• For one profoundly pleasurable evening, I borrowed a Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble from Bex, who was, in turn, borrowing it from Caitlin. I’m not sure I like it enough to drop $180 USD (~$240 CAD) on one of my own, but good heavens, the A-spot stimulation from the DT’s thinner/longer end made $240 seem like a small price to pay. Hmmm…

• I bought a Liberator Throe this month in a dark, glamorous New York sex shop. From my very first session with it, I could tell it was going to revolutionize my squirting adventures. It is a game-changer when you know you can actually relax and you won’t end up having to sleep on sodden sheets (or, worse, needing to wait until you finish your laundry before going to sleep). I used all my favorite G-spot toys with it and it valiantly protected my bed from squirt damage.

 

Fantasy fodder

• I’ve spent most of my adult life banging exclusively submissive and vanilla folks, despite knowing in my kinky little heart that I lean submissive. But then recently, I boned a handsome gent who is, as it turns out, very dom indeed. Needless to say, he occupied many of my saucier thoughts this month.

• My fave Toronto-based pornographers, Spit, put out a new video and it’s my favorite thing they’ve ever done. Granted, I know Jack and Lydia in person, so I feel a little closer to the action… but daaaamn, the subtle D/s dynamic in this scene is hot as hell and the performers’ playfulness melts my heart. (Side note: I dream of performing in a Spit scene someday… if I can find the right partner…)

• I am having aaaaall the little-girl feels lately. I mentioned “daddy kink” in my April faves when it first surfaced into my consciousness, and back then I felt very weird about it and struggled not to kink-shame myself every time it came up. However, I can’t deny that certain people just set off feelings of lusty littleness in me – like toppy partners who call me “good girl” and hot professors who teach me about child development. Unf.

 

Sexcetera

• In mid-September I went to a sexual health expo in New York, along with blogger pals Bex, Penny, Lilly, Lena, Hedonish, and more. We had some mixed feelings about the sexpo itself, but some of the presenters really blew my little sex-nerd mind. We learned about internal clit stimulation from Allison Moon, D/s boundary-setting from Mollena Williams, and sexual rut-breaking from Ducky Doolittle. It’s delicious to come home from an educational event with so many new ideas bouncing around in your brain!

• I’m writing a feature story about the Hitachi Magic Wand. As such, I’ve been carting my wand with me everywhere and occasionally delivering it to people’s homes so I can watch them use it as research. (Legitimate research… not pervy research… although, sometimes that too.) Life seems so much sunnier when you’ve got a Magic Wand in your inventory!

• I read through a lot of old journals this month, while trying to find one specific entry I wanted to reference in my blowjobs post, and I was struck by how gross it feels to read explicit descriptions of sex you once had with people you are no longer dating/attracted to. I’m glad I kept such a detailed history of my sex life from the get-go, because it’s crucial information when I want to look back and see how far I’ve come, but gawd it’s hard to slog through without gagging.

 

Fashion & beauty

• I did a lot of shopping in September. Whoops. Highlights: this Wednesday Addams dress from Modcloth (I was gonna wait til Halloween to show it off, but c’mon), a blue printed dress from H&M, and the glorious American Apparel acquisition I’ve been calling my “sideboob dress” (magically, it looks good on everyone). And speaking of my aforementioned little-girl inclinations: I ordered this from ASOS, and I think I need to put it on and convince some authoritative daddy-esque man to take me to a carnival and win me a stuffed animal or something. #LittleGirlSwag

• I am now the proud owner of a ring made to look like my vulva. Please give Catstache Accessories all your money because they did an incredibly beautiful job and got this masterpiece to me in a very reasonable amount of time. If you have fantasized about owning custom jewelry that resembles your genitals (and who hasn’t?!), I am telling you: now’s the time and Catstache is the place.

• Fall is officially here, and as such, dark lipsticks are my current jam. MAC Viva Glam 3 is the brownish-burgundy of my autumnal dreams.

 

What toys, fantasies and miscellany did you dig this month, lovelies?

Feminist Porn Week Diary, Part 2: Dildo Platters & Tampon-Twirling

Kate Sloan

On Wednesday April 15th I went to the Royal Cinema to see Erika Lust speak about her vision for the future of porn. After her brief talk, she screened several scenes from her inspirational paysite XConfessions – which, as you might remember from my review, I loooove!

Erika’s porn is aesthetically gorgeous, undeniably feminist, and often quite funny. When “I Wish I Was a Lesbian” started playing, I turned to my friend and said, “This is the one with the platter of dildos!!” and I think she thought I was joking… There was also a scene where a man fellated a penis-shaped lollipop in the middle of a public park, during which the audience laughed uproariously. Erika’s sense of humor really shows through in her porn, in addition to her sexual and artistic proclivities!

I think my favorite scene I saw at that screening, however, was “Dude Looks Like a Lady,” in which a seemingly straight cis man starts dressing up in drag and is surprised to discover his partner gets turned on by it. This scene is such a perfect example of how Erika refuses to shy away from topics other porn companies might find distasteful or just hard to categorize.

My outfit that night included a navy and white striped shirt tucked into a black and white polka-dotted skirt, with red tights, red lipstick, and black Doc Martens. I was kind of going for a “50 shades of grey” theme, because of where my evening went next…

After the XConfessions screening, I literally sprinted to the streetcar stop so I’d be on time for the Drunk Feminist Films screening of 50 Shades of Grey. Drunk Feminist Films is a new screening series at the Revue Cinema and it is exactly what it sounds like: a bunch of clever intersectional feminists crowd into a theatre, load up on wine and beer (if they want to), and watch a movie through an analytical lens. Now that’s my idea of fun!

DFF’s 50 Shades event began with a brief talk on BDSM and consent given by kinkster, trauma survivor, and game-maker Soha Kareem. She contextualized the abuse perpetrated by Christian Grey by contrasting it with how real kinksters operate. I felt so proud and fortunate to be at the kind of event where this potentially life-saving information was expressed.

We were all given fliers bearing the drinking game rules for the movie. They encouraged us to drink every time Christian employed abusive tactics, every time Christian ignored something Ana said, every time Ana said something self-effacing, and so on. Needless to say, most of us got pretty drunk. (That movie is a fucking mess.)

My favorite thing about this event, however, was the feeling of feminist sisterhood directed at Ana’s character. Lots of 50 Shades critics have targeted Ana as complicit in her own abuse, or stupid and naive – but at the Drunk Feminists screening, we were encouraged to yell “AGENCY!” and twirl tampons in the air* every time Ana stood up for herself. And, contrary to what I remembered from the last time I saw the film, there were plenty of moments like this. I found myself practically crying each time Ana pushed back against Christian and the whole theatre of feminists erupted in applause and celebratory tampon-swinging.

*Yes, tampons were provided. Yes, it was awesome.

Then I rode home on the subway while sleepily resting my head on the shoulder of a feminist male friend of mine, who asked for my consent before stroking my hair in a comforting manner. So overall it was a pretty fantastically feminist evening!

The next and last part of my FPW wrap-up will cover the Thursday night screening and the Friday night awards gala, so watch out for that!

Porn Review: SPIT

Kate Sloan

Some friends of mine have started a feminist porn collective, and it is blowing my mind and titillating my genitals.

Spit calls itself “alternative porn for the aroused mind.” It’s photographic porn featuring performers who have never or rarely made porn before, so it feels authentically sexual – because it is.

Most of the photosets on the Spit website thus far were shot at play parties (i.e. sex parties) held with the explicit intent of generating porn imagery. Participants can have sex privately anywhere in the space, and if they want to get involved in the porn, they can sign up in advance, get partnered up with another performer based on mutual attraction, and fuck in a porn-specific room in front of photographers.

I have friends who have modeled for Spit, and I can confirm from their stories that they’ve been treated ethically and have had a great time doing their shoots. Ongoing consent is valued and is clearly communicated through the photos. That’s important to me in the porn I consume. My conscience needs to be at ease before my pussy can get in on the arousal party. If you’re that way too, you’ll dig Spit.

Straight sex, queer sex, hard-to-define sex. Some sex without kink, some kink without sex, and a whole lot of kinky sex. Cocks, twats, hands, toys. You’ll see all of this on the Spit website.

The photographer of each set is identified along with the performers, so if you find yourself digging a particular photog’s style, you can look at other sets they’ve shot. I find it especially fun to see different photographers’ takes on the same erotic event: while one artist might focus more on genitals, another might pay more attention to facial expressions. It’s so cool to see.

I’ve never been a huge fan of still-photo porn – it calls to mind stuff like SuicideGirls, which is beautiful to look at but (at least for me) not nearly as arousing as video – but some of Spit’s sets capture passion and movement wonderfully.

The folks behind Spit also mentioned to me that they will be moving into the realm of video in the future. I can’t wait.

I’m in an interesting position in that I know a lot of the people who are in these shoots. I’ve talked with them, I’ve sipped wine with them, I’ve cuddled with them – so it’s surreal and magical and cool to see them fucking each other in porn.

But I think, even if you’ve never met any of these people, there is a neat sense of “Huh, these people look like average, regular people.” They’re sexy as hell, in a “I could actually fuck a person like this” sort of way. I love that.

The website’s interface isn’t the best. Each photoset is laid out all on one page, so it’s not terribly friendly for people with slow internet connections. I’d prefer a system that allows for flipping through sets using arrow keys, or viewing a set of thumbnails and choosing just the pictures I want to see. Spit is still in its infancy, and I’m looking forward to seeing its functionality improve as it gets bigger.

Membership is $9.99 a month, which gets you unlimited access to the photos. (Spit also hosts some erotic stories, but the photos are really the main event. You can find sexy stories all over the internet, but these photoshoots are one-of-a-kind.)

If we’re betting on what’ll be the Next Big Thing in the feminist porn genre, my money’s on Spit.

Thank you, lovely Spit folks, for letting me look at your porn!

Book Review: Serving Him

Kate Sloan

I felt pretty starstruck when I saw Rachel Kramer Bussel at the Feminist Porn Conference, because I’ve been reading her erotica anthologies for years and I’ve determined that we are more-or-less sexually in sync – at least, if her story selections are anything to go by. We dig the same sexual acts, the same turns of phrase. So I always gravitate toward RKB over any other anthology editor, because I know I can count on her to deliver something that’ll turn me on. Serving Him is indeed edited by RKB, but I don’t feel quite the same about it as I feel about some of her other works.

I judge erotica anthologies by how many stories bore me versus how many make me put my hand in my panties, and this book has a medium score on that scale. As the title suggests, it’s full of juicy short stories about dominant men and submissive women (yes, this is a hetero-oriented tome).

Some favorite stories of mine include Lori Selke’s “What You Deserve,” which features fancy food and spanking; Maxine Marsh’s “Tackling Jessica,” in which a football move becomes a fantasy; and J. Sinclaire’s “Duo,” a delightfully smutty MMF three-way.

Some stories in this book contain elements that drain the arousal right out of me – breath-play, humiliation, and dubious consent, for example. While there are obviously folks for whom these things are the height of hotness, it actually made me somewhat anxious to read about them. The Tumblr social justice community has embraced “trigger warnings” wholeheartedly, and I’m wondering if it’s time for kinky/edgy erotica anthologies to do the same thing – sort of in the same vein as how Yes Means Yes uses themed keywords to help you decide which chapters you want to read and which you want to skip.

I also found there were some stories which focused overwhelmingly on the psychological aspects of Dom/sub dynamics, with very little actual smut. This, again, is something that doesn’t hit the spot for me, but may be perfect for folks who find the non-bedroom parts of D/s relationships just as exciting as the actual sexual encounters. To each their own, right?

I should note that I like Dom/sub scenarios, contrary to what this review might indicate. But I guess I only like ‘em when they’re focused on sex and maybe a little spanking – the other stuff is peripheral or antithetical to my personal sexuality, while it might be central to others’.

Thanks so much to Cleis Press for sending me Serving Him to review!