menstrual cup

5 Products Your Vagina Needs to Know About

Kate Sloan

I’ve had two cases of BV and countless UTIs in the past couple years, and as a result, I fret a lot about my vagina these days. There’s nothing actively hazardous about it; it just seems to be prone to problems. In a way, it reminds me of a child who’s particularly nerdy and sensitive, who makes you want to protect him from the bullies at school. Except in this case, the “bullies” are infections.

Because I love you, dear reader, and I care about your vaginal health (or that of the female-bodied folks in your life), here are some items that make my vagina’s life a whole lot easier.

DivaWash. Manufactured by the same people who make the DivaCup, DivaWash is a pH-balanced, all-natural, super gentle cleanser. It’s meant for “face, body, and the DivaCup,” but since one of those things is designed to go inside my vag, I figured the wash itself is vulva-safe. And it is. I’ve been using it as my exclusive vulva-cleansing product for years now (except for this one time when I was on vacation and had to use regular soap, which resulted in a scorching case of BV). It’s soooo gentle and has only the tiniest hint of natural fragrance, so it’s not irritating or drying at all. Of course, the best way to clean a vulva is with plain water, but if you like a leeeetle bit more oomph, DivaWash is the way to go.

D-Mannose. I used to get a urinary tract infection about once a month, seemingly brought on by sex. For those of you who have never had a UTI, trust, it’s miserable. And it can spread to your bladder and then to your kidneys (yes, this happened to me – it’s not fun, don’t do it!). Then someone told me about D-Mannose. It’s a tasteless, odourless powder which you stir into a glass of water and drink up. It makes the insides of your bladder and urinary tract all slippery so the bacteria can’t hang on. Every time I feel a UTI-like twinge of pain, I have some D-Mannose, and the discomfort melts away within hours. It’s a miracle product!

Menstrual cups. Obvi. But please be aware that there are options other than the ones you’ve probably heard of (DivaCup, SoftCups, and maybe the Keeper). I spent a lot of time in the LiveJournal community for cup users when my DivaCup started to fail me, and I found out that not everyone can or should use the same kind of cup. Vaginas come in many different shapes and sizes and the cup selection reflects that! After much experimentation, my cup of choice these days is a large Yuuki. It’s big and firm, never leaks, never feels uncomfortable to me, and basically I want to marry it. What’s your goldilocks cup?

Extra virgin coconut oil. This stuff is flawless. You can use it on your face, hair, body, and – yes! – your vulva. I like it as a lube for my glass and steel toys, and it also works wonderfully as a post-shave moisturizer. (Even better if you can convince your lover to massage it into your skin!)

Plain yogurt. Some people put it in their vagina. I haven’t quite been able to bring myself to do that yet. But, if you’re ever on antibiotics for anything, and you’re even slightly prone to yeast infections, you should get on a daily regimen of eating plain yogurt with active bacterial cultures in it, at least for the duration of your treatment. It’ll keep your vag full of happy bacteria that fights off the bad guys and prevents the Cottage Cheese Discharge of Doom. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

I wish you the best of vaginal health, always. ♥

Menstrual Sex: It’s About Bloody Time!

Kate Sloan

I think the only time I’ve ever used the word “squicky” in real life was while telling my friend how my new boyfriend felt about menstrual sex. “It’s just weird for me, I guess,” I said, “because [my ex-girlfriend] was so okay with going down on me during that time of the month, and [the new boyf] is soooo not.”

It’s true – this was a tough adjustment for me. My ex had a vagina too, so she understood that menstruation isn’t such a big deal – but it wasn’t just that; she was a messy, reckless person in many ways, the type of girl to slather herself in paint and make breast prints on big pieces of watercolor paper. I think she was more inclined to “ride the crimson wave” because sexuality didn’t scare her, not even a little, not even the weird parts. My new boyfriend wasn’t like that, and his apprehension made me feel shitty about my lady-bits.

But then I rubbed off on him. Me and my relentless sex-positivity and vagina-lovin’. He must have absorbed some of my feminist unabashedness, because soon enough, his blood-related worries dissolved.

Here are some things that changed his mind, and that might change yours or your lover’s mind about period sex too:

1. Menstrual cups. Embarrassingly, I have a cup collection – two DivaCups, a Yuuki, a Lunette, and a Meluna. I just like to have a variety of color and size options – the average woman will only need one cup.

These things are great for a multitude of reasons that don’t have to do with sex – better for the environment, for the body, for the wallet (if you don’t collect them like me) – but they make sex easier too. While it is possible to have intercourse with a reusable cup in place, I don’t recommend it – I use them to facilitate oral sex instead. They keep the blood inside, so as not to freak out a partner, but they don’t dry up natural juices the way a tampon would if used in the same way. Worry-free cunnilingus, yum!

2. Menstrual sponges. I have some by Jade and Pearl – they are fairly cheap and easy to use. Truth be told, I am not a fan of sponges for everyday menstrual use – they’re not much better than tampons when it comes to body-safety and drying me out, and I find that they leak when I sneeze or laugh too hard. But! They work very well for period sex. (I’ve never used Softcups, but I hear they work just as well for this purpose.)

When inserted, sea sponges feel remarkably similar to the surrounding vaginal walls – soft, textured, and, uh, spongy. So you can tuck one up by your cervix and it’s very likely that neither you nor your partner will even be able to tell you’re on the rag. Just one word of warning: don’t go trying to pry out the sponge immediately after sex to empty it – during arousal, the cervix pulls up and back, taking any surrounding objects with it, so give it a few minutes or you might start panicking about not being able to get the damn sponge out.

3. Thick, dark towels. Really, these should be a part of everyone’s sex arsenal; if you don’t need towels at least once in a while, you’re doing it wrong, if I may say so. At the moment, I just use knockoff pashminas I don’t care about, but in the future, I’d like to upgrade to a Liberator Throe, a sex blanket that can absorb anything you squirt at it.

4. Mental preparedness. Yeah, menstruating vaginas taste a bit like iron. That taste doesn’t mean you’re getting blood in your mouth (necessarily), it just means you’re licking a healthy, normal vulva, so don’t fret.

Not everyone has to be okay with every sex act. I’m definitely not going to judge anyone who really feels that menstrual sex is not for them. But I want people to feel more equipped to have it if they want to… especially since orgasms are such a wonderful cure for cramps!