music

5 Ways to Bring More Romantic Energy Into Your Life

Kate Sloan

Is it February already? Seriously?

Okay, I promise I won’t complain too much. Single people whining about Valentine’s Day = so boring and played-out. I refuse to fall into that trope!

However, yeah, if you’re single – and even if you’re not – Valentine time can be hard. But I’m here to help! Here are some ways to bring more romantic energy into your life in a jiff, even if you feel “forever alone” or unloveable. (Trust me, babe, you’re not.)

1. Change your phone background to a picture of someone who makes your heart flutter. Yes, we’re starting with a super easy one.

I don’t recommend doing this with a picture of a person you see regularly (e.g. your psychology professor, your best friend who you’re secretly in love with, or your older brother’s cute bandmate), simply because there is a small chance of them seeing it and thinking you’re a weirdo.

But if there’s a celebrity, fictional character, etc. who makes you feel a little blushy, giggly and swoony, load up your phone with their face. You’ll get a hit of juicy joy every time you spot your lock screen.

2. Tell someone cute that they’re cute. This one is harder, but I promise it’s worth it!

I think our high-tech world has made us shyer, more insulated from one another. I’m not gonna rant at you about the desensitizing effect of technology because, honestly, I’ve made some of my best and deepest social connections via the internet – but I do think a tech-centered lifestyle has the potential of making you meeker than you’d otherwise be. Fight that comfy impulse!

“You’re cute” is a really great starter compliment for shy folks (like me) because, although it’s bold, it’s not overly committal. It’s not “I have a crush on you” or “I want to date you” or anything that will make you too vulnerable for comfort; it’s just “You’re cute.” Which can be construed as romantic, or not. Go tell those words to a cutie; you’ll feel brave and powerful, and they’ll feel adorable and desirable. Win-win!

3. Consume media that features people you’re attracted to. You probably already do this. I know I do.

Type your actor crush’s name into YouTube or Netflix’s search box and binge-watch as needed. Read another book by that clever genius who lights up your heart and mind. Flick through the Instagram or Tumblr of that internet pseudo-celebrity whose tweets you find so hilarious.

Continually and deliberately fill your life with reasons to feel smitten. ‘Cause that shit feels good.

4. Switch up your soundtrack.

Music + the human brain = true magic. Or the potential for it, anyway. That’s what I think.

Go on Spotify, 8Tracks, Last.FM, or another music-discovery tool of your choice, and do a search for playlists that fit the juicy/sexy/crushy mood you’re trying to generate. Whether you end up listening to cute love songs or intense sexy songs, you’ll feel more in line with yummy romantic energy than you did before you started.

5. Visualize romance, whatever the hell that means to you.

I think visualization is a criminally underrated capability of the human mind. You can literally picture – and, in a way, experience – anything you want. Some spiritual worldviews say that visualizing a particular event can help attract that kind of event into your life – but even if you don’t buy that, it still feels damn good!

My mind wanders a lot so I often find it easier to write down a particular fantasy/daydream and then read it over. The act of committing it to paper helps focus my vision and get me deeper into the feeling I’m trying to create. But if freeform imaginin’ works for you, you can do that too. And wonderfully, you can do it pretty much any time you feel like it. Including while you’re commuting. Or sitting in a boring class. Or lying in bed trying to fall asleep.

If you’re not sure where to start, give these prompts a ponder… If (your crush/love) was with you right now, what would you want them to say to you? How would they look at you? What would that feel like? What’s the absolute best compliment they could give you? If they sent you a love letter, what would you want it to say? If they gave you the perfect kiss, what would that be like? How would they initiate sex with you (or you with them)? What kinds of sounds would they make? Where would they put their hands on your body, and what would that feel like? What kind of cuddler would they be? After sex, what would they whisper or moan or mumble into your ear?

Oh, good gracious. I am already feeling a heck of a lot better about the single life. Excuse me; I’ll be in my bunk.

What do you do to make your life feel sexier and more romantic on a regular basis?

Top 10 Songs to Ironically Have Sex To

Kate Sloan

I’ll be the first to admit that my taste in music is somewhat dorky. Not all of it is cringeworthy, but it’s been enough to make my lovers lift their heads from between my thighs to say, “Why are we listening to this?” I can’t help it – I love a good, sexy jam. So I’ve collected my ten favorites here, in the hopes that I can introduce you to a track that’ll take your sex life from good to groooovaaaay.

1. Usher – Twork It Out. This song makes Usher sound like the world’s most epic lover, as these R&B slowjams tend to do. And of course, the song is interspersed with occasional female moans of ecstacy. Now that I’ve got you all soaking wet, I’ll bet you know what’s coming next… You.

2. Snoop Dogg – Sexual Eruption. Gotta love a good euphemism for orgasm. This, again, is a song that mostly consists of male sexual braggery… but it’s kinda hot. I’m gonna take my time; she gon’ get hers before I.

3. Marvin Gaye – Let’s Get It On. On a list like this, there’s no way to avoid this classic lovemakin’ anthem. It’s sweet and adoring and pleading and honest. There’s nothin’ wrong with me loving you – and giving yourself to me can never be wrong, if the love is true.

4. Maroon 5 – Secret. I remember reading in some gross teen magazine that Ashlee Simpson thinks of this as the world’s sexiest song. I can’t disagree – it’s about straight-up sexual desire, and has that kind of groove that makes you want to grind on someone. I know I don’t know you, but I want you so bad.

5. Rihanna ft. Drake – What’s My Name? This is a song about cunnilingus. It’s about a woman demanding that a man prove himself to her via his sexual prowess. And it makes me want to sit on a sub fella’s face. Hey boy, I really wanna see if you can go downtown with a girl like me… I need a boy to take it over, looking for a guy to put in work.

6. Daniel Bedingfield – Without the Girl. This song really has nothing to do with sex (unless you count the subtext of unrequited love, which is sexual frustration and masturbation), but it has that “I could fuck to this” sound, so it made the list. She is my sunshine, but her heart belongs to another man.

7. Christina Aguilera – Loving Me For Me. (I know, I know. Don’t hate me.) “Xtina” has other songs which are more sex-centric than this one, but it’s still this one that I used to jerk off to, before I discovered porn… because this is a song about a comfortable relationship that happens to include great sex, and that’s hot. Your lips, your eyes, your smile, your kiss, I must admit, it’s a part of me… You please me, completely, filling me, like a melody.

8. O-Town – Sexiest Woman Alive. Genuine compliments will always be sexy. And the ensuing confidence will always be sexy. Ladies, if you need a pre-sex “get-pumped” song to make you feel like a bombshell, this might be it. When you walk into a room, the first reaction’s “Ooh” – every guy around just wants to sweat ya.

9. Lovage – Sex (I’m A). Lovage’s one album is entitled “Music to Make Love to Your Old Lady By,” so that should give you some indication of what this music is for. And it does the trick. It also includes a weird middle section where a woman with an Eastern European accent explains why men have affairs. I’m a man, I’m a goddess, I’m a virgin, I’m a blue movie, I’m a bitch, I’m a geisha, I’m a little girl, and we’ll make love together.

10. Reverie Sound Revue – One Marathon. Another unrequited love song? Yeah, apparently they contain a lot of unspoken sexual tension, which I dig. This one is jazzy and goes down smooth. But I know you know, I must swear you hear me say, “No – our misses are not a plan.” So I miss you, and I run through you.