New York

Behind the Seams: Summer in the City

Kate Sloan
Photos by pax

May 30th, 2026

It was nervewracking to go back to Toronto for a few months when I’d just begun dating someone new in New York. I’m used to maintaining emotional closeness with my wife when we’re in different cities, because our relationship was long-distance for over seven years before we were able to move in together – but I had no such long-distance experience yet with pax, the person who is now my boyfriend(!!), so I was nervous about staying connected while far apart.

Thankfully, he was just as committed to making it work as I was. We had phone dates once a week or so, texted throughout every day, and he even booked a weekend trip to come visit me in Toronto, which made me feel very loved! On this day, I showed him around Kensington Market a bit (my old stomping grounds and one of my favorite Toronto neighborhoods), and then we took the subway to my favorite cocktail bar, Civil Liberties, for drinks. Then we walked down the block to Electric Bill for dinner – highly recommend; I always have a fantastic meal any time I go there!

What I’m wearing:

  • Red fit-and-flare dress – H&M
  • Red leather jacket – Danier Leather
  • Black leather Frye harness boots
  • Vintage red leather Coach Willis bag – Etsy
  • Black prescription sunglasses – Zenni

June 19th, 2026

Back in Brooklyn! I wore this to a fancy dinner with my wife mb and a couple of her pals who were visiting from the west coast (it was at The Modern and was delicious), and then mb and I went to the SoHo Playhouse to see improv legends TJ & Dave perform. They did shows in New York for four nights in a row and mb had generously gotten us tickets to all four shows! On this night I happened to spot an actor I recognized in the crowd, and worked up the courage to tell him afterwards that I love his film Threesome. New York is a wild city.

What I’m wearing:

Photos by either mb or pax, not sure!

June 21st, 2026

Another TJ & Dave show night! This time I got to go with both of my partners 🥰 We went for dinner at the Minetta Tavern first. During the show I ended up getting emotionally overwhelmed because the themes of the set happened to relate to some difficult family stuff I was going through, so I went home right after, which probably would’ve been the correct call anyway – there was a heat wave happening and I am prone to fainting under such conditions, hence clutching a Gatorade for dear life in these photos!

What I’m wearing:

  • Pink tank top – the Gap
  • Red pencil skirt – American Apparel
  • Pink/red/white striped socks – gift from my mom
  • Pink/red custom Nike Air Force 1 sneakers
  • Vintage black leather Coach Willis bag – eBay
  • Black prescription sunglasses – Zenni
  • Gatorade in the superior “Cool Blue” flavor

June 25th, 2026

I was super nervous while taking these photos, and I feel like it shows! I was on my way to meet pax for dinner at Roberta’s (pizza, yum) to discuss relationship labels. I really wanted him to be my boyfriend but was worried he’d say no. But I needn’t have worried – the answer was a resounding yes! ❤️🍕

What I’m wearing:

  • Red leather jacket – Danier Leather
  • “2 gay 2 live, 2 horny 2 die” tank top – designed by Cayce Fisher
  • Denim shorts – the Gap
  • Pink & blue unicorn kneesocks – gift from my mom
  • Pink/red custom Nike Air Force 1s
  • Black prescription sunglasses

June 27th, 2026

Attending the New York City Dyke March with my wife and boyfriend was truly a queer polyamorist’s dream come true. I slathered on the sunscreen and then marched through the streets surrounded by beautiful sapphics and sapphic-adjacent folks. At one point I felt so inspired that I took out my pocket notebook and started drafting a song about how glad I am that I’m queer, as happy tears streamed down my cheeks. 🏳️‍🌈❤️

What I’m wearing:

  • “Queer & Kinky” T-shirt – Kink Academy merch; I cut the sleeves & neckline off
  • Denim shorts – the Gap
  • Red leather jacket – Danier Leather
  • Blue socks – the sex toy brand Dame
  • Pink/red custom Nike Air Force 1s
  • Rainbow earrings – an Etsy shop called 3Delightfulshop
  • Rainbow eye makeup – mostly Sugarpill
  • (In one photo) Turquoise & purple snapback – Etsy
  • My wife’s chastity key around my neck

June 30th, 2026

Look, sometimes you have to dress slutty to survive a heatwave, okay?! I wore this adorably skimpy little dress to the Nitehawk Cinema in Williamsburg, where pax and I met up to have dinner + see Backrooms (liked it, didn’t love it). I took notes throughout, like a nerd.

What I’m wearing:

  • Orange skater dress – American Apparel (I have several of these in different colors)
  • Black leather Chuck Taylors
  • Vintage black leather Coach Willis bag
  • Black prescription sunglasses

July 3rd, 2026

Another slutty heatwave outfit… Wore this out to a group hang at a bar, where I ate an amazing hot dog. Have you ever eaten a hot dog while just drunk enough to appreciate it as deeply as it deserves? Big recommend.

What I’m wearing:

  • Turquoise racerback crop top – technically a bralette; bought in a bulk pack from Amazon
  • Denim shorts – the Gap
  • Pink Doc Martens
  • Pink sex toy earrings – a maker at the Erotic Arts & Crafts Fair in Toronto

July 4th, 2026

Wore this to a sex-date! Didn’t think about the fact that it was Independence Day; I just felt like wearing red 😂 My clothes didn’t stay on for long, anyway…

What I’m wearing:

  • Red cropped T-shirt – gift from my mom
  • Red shorts – the Gap
  • Red socks – the Gap
  • Pink/red custom Nike Air Force 1s

July 5th, 2026

Kind of a witchy vibe! Wore this out to dinner at Gage & Tollner, where I got the second-best Grasshopper I’ve ever had. (First-best was Jeffrey Morgenthaler’s version, prepared by Morgenthaler himself when we went to his bar Pépé Le Moko in Portland. Simply unparalleled.)

What I’m wearing:

  • Dark green cropped “Calvin” T-shirt – Calvin Klein, natch
  • Black pencil skirt – the Gap
  • Black leather Doc Martens
  • Vintage black leather Coach Willis bag
  • Turquoise velvet headscarf – gift from pax 💙

July 11th, 2026

Cute boy pax was cohosting a rooftop party, the dress code of which was “lush”; here’s what I wore. Had a lovely time and drank many delicious drinks while the blazing sun slowly sunk below the horizon in the distance. What a gorgeous night. I love New York.

What I’m wearing:

  • Black floral-print crop top – American Apparel
  • Red shorts – the Gap
  • Red peeptoe clogs – Lotta from Stockholm (RIP)
  • Vintage black leather Coach Willis bag
  • Black prescription sunglasses
  • Orange beaded earrings – an artist’s stall in Mexico many years ago

What’ve you been wearing lately, loves?

Behind the Seams: Summertime in Bushwick

Kate Sloan

July 10th, 2025

I wore this to a launch party for the latest issue of Poetry is Gay magazine! My very talented wife had a poem published in it. A few poets read their pieces aloud and it was all beautiful, not to mention queer as hell.

I had moved to New York only 8 days previous, so my body and brain were still pretty exhausted – hence dipping before the afterparty commenced. But at least I got to take this cute tipsy smiley selfie on my way home, clutching a stack of gay poetry mags, when a friend from back in Toronto texted to ask me what I was up to.

What I’m wearing:
• Black tank top that says “2 gay 2 live, 2 horny 2 die” – made by Cayce Fisher (the perfect shirt to wear to a horny gay poetry reading, if you ask me!)
• Denim shorts – the Gap (you might recall I wore these a lot in my last outfits post too – my movers still hadn’t brought my stuff yet, so I was still getting dressed out of a little suitcase every day at this point!)
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Black leather vintage Coach Station bag
• Red triangle earrings – some craft fair back home, can’t quite recall!
• Red heart-shaped glasses – Zenni

July 12th, 2025

One of the first things I did upon moving to Brooklyn was attend the Fun & Dumb Improv Festival at the Brooklyn Comedy Collective. My wife had correctly intuited that I would be exhausted and depressed after the ordeal of the move and could use as many laughs as possible, so she bought us both weekend passes to the festival in advance. Am I spoiled or what?!

This particular day was packed with musical improv above all else – we saw performances by Angus, Thongs, & Perfect Singing and Baby Wants Candy, who were both stellar. Later that evening, we went back to the BCC for more improv: Padma Lakshmi was the guest monologist for one show, and then the legendary ASSSSCAT closed out our evening. Highly recommend going to see a cavalcade of comedy when you’re stressed/sad/depleted!

What I’m wearing:
• Orange tank top – the Gap
• Black high-waisted pencil skirt – the Gap
• Pink/red/orange custom Nike Air Force 1 sneakers
• Red triangle earrings
• Apple Watch with navy leather Hermès band – both gifts from my wife
• Black prescription sunglasses in one photo and red heart-shaped glasses in the other – both from Zenni
• Fun & Dumb Festival admission wristband! (I kept it afterward, naturally, because I am a sentimental dweeb)

July 19th, 2025

Here’s what I wore to have drinks with part of my polycule (wife + wife’s boyfriend + wife’s boyfriend’s husband) at the Sunken Harbor Club, a fancy low-lit bar specializing in tiki drinks. I had a few too many, but what can I say – they were delicious!

What I’m wearing:
• White/pink/blue toucan-print button-down shirt – borrowed from my wife; I originally bought it for her as a gift
• Blue lace bralette underneath – Aerie
• Denim shorts again
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell
• Navy earrings in the shape of a diagram of the internal clitoris – an Etsy shop called MadeInMira (I think I want the dangly ones next…)
• Vintage black leather Coach Station bag
• Apple Watch

July 23rd, 2025

I wore this to attend the closing-night performance of King!, a piece of wacky-beautiful theatre created by/starring Gabriel Gara Lonning and Mariposa Coalson. It’s hard to even describe, but perhaps these photos my wife took will give you a sense of the vibe! I’d been invited to the afterparty too, but declined in favor of going home to take a bath, because having fibromyalgia is fuckin’ rough, dude.

What I’m wearing:
• Black & silver bodycon dress – American Apparel many years ago
• Navy knee-high socks
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Black leather vintage Coach Station bag
• Red triangle earrings

July 25th, 2025

I wore this to happy hour with some polycule members + pals at Barely Disfigured, a bar with a weird name and great drinks. Big recommend for The Harlot’s Progress, which contained blackberry liqueur and smoky scotch, a combo I never knew I needed until I tasted it!

What I’m wearing:
• Orange/pink fit-and-flare dress – Modcloth over a decade ago
• Red/pink/white striped knee-high socks – gift from my mama
• Custom-color Nike Air Force 1 sneakers
• Rainbow earrings – an Etsy store called 3DelightfulShop
• Coach Station bag
• Tiffany & Co. leather dog collar – a gift from my love

July 26th, 2025

I’ve been wanting to meet up with somebody from the /r/RandomActsOfMuffDive subreddit for a long time, since no-strings-attached, no-reciprocation-required cunnilingus from a self-professed pussy-hound has always sounded like a pretty sweet proposition to me. A couple days prior to this, I had met up with a man from there for drinks, and we hit it off sufficiently that he invited me to his place for the aforementioned “muffdive” (god, I hate that term) later that week… so here’s what I wore to that!

It was important to me that I felt both comfy and cute, hence wearing this literal nightgown and my favorite boots. And actually, the nightgown stayed on for the whole encounter, which was kind of nice – it meant I didn’t have to directly confront my discomfort about letting this near-stranger see me naked. (He was so complimentary of my body that I needn’t have worried, though!)

What I’m wearing:
• Black modal nightgown – Calvin Klein Sleepwear (I literally have 4 of these, because they’re so simple and comfy… Chronic illness wardrobe ahoy!!)
• Pink & blue unicorn-print knee-high socks – probably bought at The Great Canadian Sox Shop back when I lived near Queen St. W.
• Coach Station bag
• Frye harness boots
• Apple Watch

July 27th, 2025

Attending the improv show Raaaatscraps is a near-weekly tradition for my wife and I, although usually (before I moved to New York) I would watch it on a livestream while she attended in-person. However, now that I live here, I can attend the show every week if I want to – and I often do want to! On this occasion I went alone because my wife was busy, and I had a great time, as always. Those rats (by which I mean the very clever people in the Raaaatscraps cast) are so damn funny.

What I’m wearing:
• Black & red floral-print dress – H&M about a decade ago (I wore it on my first date with my wife, incidentally)
• Black leather 10-eye Doc Martens
• Coach Station bag

July 30th, 2025

I wore this out to eat fancy sushi with my beloved. Among other things, we discussed a protocol to help motivate me to unpack my belongings at a speedier rate. However, one thing I had already unpacked was my collection of dresses (can you believe I own 50+ of them?!? Just ridiculous!!), hence revisiting this one, which I bought for an anniversary date in 2018.

What I’m wearing:
• Blue velvet dress – Forever 21
• Black leather Doc Martens
• Coach Station bag
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather

I 🍑 New York: My Favorite Sex-Nerdy Spots in NYC

Kate Sloan
Outside the Museum of Sex on Magic Wand Day earlier this year

Ah, New York. What is there to say about this city that hasn’t been said already, by Frank Sinatra or Joan Didion or, hell, even Carrie Bradshaw?

I’m not a New Yorker myself (yet!) but my spouse is, and I am awaiting a green card that will allow me to move there, something I’ve low-key wanted to do ever since my first visit to the city at age 9. It’s a city known for tourism (an industry that had an economic impact of $74 billion last year!), and I myself have visited there 20 times in the last decade, sometimes staying weeks or months while visiting my partner – so while I’m far from an expert, there are many places in the city that I adore. People frequently ask me for recommendations when they’re visiting either Toronto or New York, and I’ve already written about Toronto extensively, so let’s talk about my other favorite city, and what I’d recommend there for sex nerds like you and me!

 

Bluestockings

Described as “New York’s only queer-, trans- and sex worker-run bookstore,” this is a fantastic shop, not only in terms of what they carry but also in terms of what they do for the community. (For instance, they were unfairly threatened with eviction in 2023 for distributing life-saving naloxone kits and fentanyl test strips to people who need them.)

Whether you want to learn about grassroots activism movements, queer art, trans joy, the history of NYC escorts, or just lose yourself in some kinky poetry, this is the place to go.

 

Lady Konfidential

Located on the 12th floor of an office building on West 57th St., this store used to be called Eve’s Garden before it rebranded, and it was the first feminist sex shop in the United States. A woman named Dell Williams founded it in 1974, after having a terrible experience at a Macy’s department store, where a male sales associate shamed her for buying a vibrator. (You can hear more about this in episode #3 of my miniseries Making Magic!)

It’s always fun to visit various different sex shops and see what they choose to carry, but this one is particularly interesting since it’s literally a piece of sex toy history. And they carry my favorite lube brand, Sutil, even though Sutil is a Canadian company, which makes me like them even more.

 

The Leather Man

Gotta love an old-school fetishwear shop with a basement full of sex toys! It’s clearly a must-visit.

The Leather Man is on Christopher Street, surrounded by a lot of gay history, including the Stonewall Inn, so it’d be a good pitstop on a queer-themed tour of the city. And the Magnolia Bakery is a few blocks away, incase you want cupcakes for aftercare. 😉

 

The Museum of Sex

Located on 5th Avenue, this institution is exactly what it says on the tin: a museum of sexual culture and history. Some of their exhibits are (I believe) permanent, including some displays of vintage vibrators – but most are short-term exhibits that come and go. I’d always suggest looking up their current offerings online before buying tickets, because they’ve been hit-or-miss for me in the past – but by and large, I tend to have a good time when I go here, and always come away with some new knowledge to ponder or a new fantasy to consider.

Their gift shop, located in the lobby, is also a pretty well-curated sex shop, carrying many toys, lubes, and novelties. I still find it kind of baffling that they stopped carrying (most?) books a while ago, since they’re a museum, but hey, what can ya do.

 

House of Yes

This is a performance venue in Bushwick, but that’s sort of like saying the Eiffel Tower is a building in France… It has to be experienced to be understood!

Their circus-themed shows are my favorite ones I’ve been to; people do all kinds of wacky burlesque, aerial acrobatics, poledancing and more. The audience gets really raucous and there’s always tons of cool queers everywhere. They also hold parties of various kinds here, including sexy ones 👀

 

What are your favorite sex-related spots in New York City?

 

This post contains sponsored links. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Salacious Sightseeing & Titillating Tourism

Kate Sloan

I’ve been lucky enough to travel quite a bit in my time. My parents did a lot of work-related travel when I was a kid (crisis management sojourns to foreign countries for my dad, press junkets in New York and Los Angeles for my mom), which instilled in me the sense that travel was freedom, adventure, excitement. They would always bring back presents from their far-flung visits – and now, when I travel, I sometimes bring back presents for them! Ah, the circle of (#jetsetter) life.

Today I want to talk about 5 sexy attractions or date spots I’ve been to in 5 excellent cities. There are more exotic sexual locales – you could, for example, visit the Red Light District in Amsterdam, get the best escorts for all tastes in Melbourne, or go hang out with horny moms on the Twilight tour in Italy – but these are some I’ve personally enjoyed. Check ’em out if you’re ever in the neighborhood!

Kink Shoppe (Philadelphia)

I secretly think most of the best sex shops have a heavy focus on kink. It’s not that “vanilla” sex toys aren’t important – they are – but I find that if a shop is run and frequented by kinksters, it tends to have a better and more thought-out selection of products, both kinky and not. After all, kinksters do love to be overanalytical and nerdy about their sex lives! Kink Shoppe in Philly is no exception: it has a wide array of toys ranging from mild (cute vibrators, colorful dildos) to wild (ball crushers, gas masks). My partner bought a pair of vampire gloves there and they have served us well! P.S. If you want dessert after your sex-shop date, walk a block west to the Franklin Fountain for ice cream. Yummm.

Drink (Boston)

This is supposedly the #1 cocktail bar in Boston and I believe it. The bartenders are brilliant and worth the wait. (There was about a 45-minute-long line when my partner and I went; we played Scrabble on my phone and people-watched while we waited.) They have no cocktail menu, so you just tell them what kinds of things you like and dislike in a drink and they’ll make you something great. And then, if you’re me, you go back to your hotel and do a watersports scene. *shrug*

Spartacus (Portland)

This is maybe the best sex shop I’ve ever been to, and I don’t say that lightly! I’d heard of the Spartacus brand of sex products before, but didn’t know they had an actual retail location – and OMG, it is amazing. You could easily spend a good 2-3 hours picking through the massive selection of stuff. My partner and I walked out with a bottle of Sliquid lube and a pair of scandalous fishnet underwear, but honestly, there were like 12 other things I could’ve bought. Plus the cashier didn’t unnecessarily gender us. Score.

Onoir (Montreal)

Some relationship psychology theorists say an easy way to “rekindle the spark” is to do something new and/or scary together. Roller coasters and horror movies are the commonly cited examples, but I don’t like jump-scares or loop-de-loops… Onoir served a similar function when my partner and I went there, though! It’s a fine dining experience in a completely dark room, where you’re led around and waited on by blind servers. It’ll certainly make you think differently about food, and maybe about your beau, too!

Museum of Sex (New York)

Periodically a friend of mine will go on vacation to New York and will message me to ask if I think the Museum of Sex is worth a visit. It really depends on what the current exhibitions are – I’ve seen some pretty good ones and some pretty boring ones – but for the most part, I’d say if you’re a sex nerd visiting NYC, you should check it out. The lobby is a sex shop stocked by someone who clearly knows what they’re doing, so you can cap off your visit by buying a luxury thruster, CBD lube, or a vintage copy of Playboy. Ideal.

 

What are your favorite sexy or date-y spots you’ve visited on your travels?

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.