Date Diaries: Montreal Adventures

Montreal is a great fuckin’ city. I’d put it in my all-time top 5, for sure, along with Toronto, New York, Portland and Chicago. So I was glad to have an excuse to go there for 10 days recently.

My spouse, mb, and I are knee-deep in the process of trying to secure my green card so I can move to New York to be with them. We’ve been in a long-distance relationship for six years, and married for three, so needless to say, we’d love to finally be able to live together!

As part of that process, I was recently required to attend an immigration interview at the consulate in Montreal. I don’t really know why I needed to trek out there when there’s a perfectly good U.S. consulate in downtown Toronto where I live – but my partner and I noted that the interview date was about a week before our wedding anniversary, so we decided it would be nice to make this bureaucratic necessity into a romantic vacation.

I last visited Montreal in 2019, also with my spouse, and wrote a Date Diaries post about some of my fave places we went while there. Here’s another such post, detailing some of the lovely Montreal spots we got to check out recently.

I have to give a huge shout-out to my spouse for choosing most (all?) of these places for us, and (in many cases) for spoiling me with meals and drinks I wouldn’t be able to afford on my own. The immigration interview itself ended up being somewhat anticlimactic because we were told we need to submit more documents and wait longer to get an answer from the government, and I was pretty sad about that, but going to all of these wonderful places really brightened my mood and helped me see the whole debacle in a more positive light.

mb and maple cotton candy

Jerome Ferrer

We went here on our first night in the city. My spouse had been on a plane for about an hour, and I’d been on a train for 5 hours, so we were both a little tuckered out, but they took very good care of us here.

The menu was wild, and very Québécois. One dish was essentially a lobster bisque with truffle, served with cold whipped cream on top to look like a cappuccino; I normally don’t like lobster but it was quite delish! There was also a French onion soup served inside an actual hollowed-out onion, and a fantastic steak course, among other things. One of my favorite parts of the meal, though, was a maple-flavored cotton candy that was served at the end. I just kept eating more and more – it was like a maple sugar cloud dissolving in my mouth!

Bar George

This place was near our Airbnb so we went there a couple times, once for evening cocktails and once for brunch, and it was great both times. My favorite thing I got there was my brunch dish, some slices of cured salmon served with blinis, capers, dill yogurt, and a quail egg. The flavor profile reminded me of so many meals I had with the Jewish side of my family as a kid, so it felt like home.

Le Musée des Beaux Arts

What a gorgeous museum! We spent an hour or two looking at art one afternoon and it was very relaxing and inspiring. One of the exhibitions was focused on pop art (a fave genre of mine), and it was also fun to peruse the museum’s permanent collection, which features many total showstoppers.

Unexpectedly, one of the pieces that’s stayed with me the most is Ron Mueck’s Dead Dad, a sculpture of a dead man, which was given an entire room to itself, intensifying its solemnity (not to mention creepiness).

Mon Lapin

This place was named the best restaurant in Canada, so of course my foodie spouse wanted to go. Every single thing we ate and drank there was incredible. I have very few photos of our night there because we legit just kept immediately eating everything they brought us 😂

Cloakroom Bar

This place reminds me of my favorite cocktail joint in Toronto, Civil Liberties – both bars have a “verbal menu,” meaning that instead of picking a drink from a pre-ordained list, you have a little chat with the bartender about your likes and dislikes, and they make something great just for you.

On this occasion we were served by a charming Scottish bartender who chatted with us amiably while making us stellar drinks. Cloakroom also has, unusually, a collection of vintage spirits; mb and I were able to sip some decades-old Fernet Branca, which normally tastes like mouthwash (to me, anyway) but which, in this case, had mellowed over the years into something subtler and sweeter. Really cool how booze changes as it ages, just like humans do, and how we can effectively reach back through time to taste retro delicacies.

The Coldroom

This was one of my favorite places the last time we visited, so I knew I wanted to go back. The Coldroom is hidden away behind an unmarked metal door; walk down some stairs inside and you’ll find yourself in an ornate basement bar that serves fabulous cocktails.

I’d had a really great Southside when we came here in 2019, so I ordered one again, even though it wasn’t on the menu. It was the Platonic ideal of a Southside, truly. Just perfect. Thank you, Coldroom.

Mount Royal

I’ve been to Montreal several times but had never climbed the mountain which gives the city its name. On this trip, we decided to hike up to the top. It was a challenging journey for me, since I’m chronically ill and not in shape at all, but I was really glad we did it. The hike featured lots of gorgeous views, and near the top of the mountain, there’s a huge, heated chalet that feels like reaching heaven after a long trek through purgatory. We sipped hot chocolate and looked out at the city, vast and dazzling, below. A magical adventure!

Beba

This place had a friendly, informal vibe, which contrasted nicely with the top-tier food they served. One of my favorite things we ate there was a knish (a traditional Jewish baked good) topped with a healthy mound of caviar. Like, damn.

They also have a Hemingway daiquiri on their cocktail menu – that’s a daiquiri sweetened with Maraschino liqueur, essentially – and it was one of the best drinks I had during the whole trip. Perfectly balanced, sweet and tart. Yum.

Place Carmin

I think this might’ve been my favorite meal we had in Montreal. Their duck à l’orange was just perfect, and dessert was a transcendent chocolate tart. The martini they made for me was also, hands-down, my fave martini I had the whole trip (and I order martinis pretty often!). Highly recommend.

Café Holt

We checked out the local Holt Renfrew department store, and got lunch at their in-store restaurant while we were there, which was fancier than I expected. I got a green pea risotto, the memory of which still haunts me because it was that fucking good.

The department store itself was nice too. We wandered around looking at wildly expensive coats, dresses, bags, and shoes, but all I bought was a tube of fancy toothpaste. All in all, a good shopping day!

Upstairs Jazz Bar & Grill

There’s just something about live jazz… I listen to a lot of jazz when I’m at home, but it’s always different to see it live. The energy crackles. The vibes are electric. The improvisation is (of course) unpredictable, which is exciting. It’s a pretty different experience. I often feel like I’m at church when I go to a jazz club, in the sense that it feels like communing with like-minded strangers while revelling in the near-universal magic of music.

Even though sometimes us anglophones couldn’t understand what Montreal’s many francophones were saying during our trip, seeing live jazz reminded me that music is a language we can all understand, which is beautiful and comforting in chaotic times.

Bar Dominion

This place holds a special place in our hearts, because the last time mb and I were there together, they told me for the first time that they were having “gender feelings” that they wanted to explore. A few months later, they came out as nonbinary. Accordingly, we wanted to return to this bar in celebration of that memory.

All the drinks we had were great; I’d especially recommend the Ramos slush, their unique take on the Ramos gin fizz, a notoriously hard-to-make cocktail.

Okeya Kyujiro

I’m a huge fan of sushi, as is my spouse, so we were excited to check out this “theatrical omakase experience.” Omakase means “I leave it up to you,” and so this type of meal involves trusting the chef(s) to serve you a tasting menu of sushi and other delights – great for an indecisive submissive like me, haha!

The “theatrical” aspect of the meal was cool too – we got a front-and-center view of the chefs while they worked, and they presented the dishes to us in various showy ways. Gongs were rung and sake was swilled. It was a memorable and delicious dinner.

Is my spouse gorgeous or what?!

L’Express

We went to this legendary restaurant for our anniversary dinner. It is the very essence of an old-school French restaurant – classy, ostentatious, and generous with butter. We split a bottle of champagne and raised our glasses to toast our love and togetherness.

Bota Bota

Earlier in the day on our anniversary, mb totally spoiled me by taking me to this place, which is a spa on a boat. We each got a blissful hot oil massage in the middle of our hours-long stay, and spent the rest of the time in the spa’s various steam baths.

Total silence is required in most of the spa, so we spent a lot of time sitting quietly in wonderfully hot water. It was unbelievably relaxing and meditative. At one point, my partner took my hand and pressed on my inner wrist, a spot that triggers me to go into trance. I drifted in that half-awake state for a few minutes, amazed at how my sweetheart can control me and relax me without saying a word.

Café Olimpico

I always come here when I go to Montreal, because their espresso is so damn good. We needed to kill a bit of time before my train ride home, so this is one of the places we hung out at. As ever, the coffee was A++ and so was the ambiance.

 

Have you been to Montreal? What are your favorite places there?

Salacious Sightseeing & Titillating Tourism

I’ve been lucky enough to travel quite a bit in my time. My parents did a lot of work-related travel when I was a kid (crisis management sojourns to foreign countries for my dad, press junkets in New York and Los Angeles for my mom), which instilled in me the sense that travel was freedom, adventure, excitement. They would always bring back presents from their far-flung visits – and now, when I travel, I sometimes bring back presents for them! Ah, the circle of (#jetsetter) life.

Today I want to talk about 5 sexy attractions or date spots I’ve been to in 5 excellent cities. There are more exotic sexual locales – you could, for example, visit the Red Light District in Amsterdam, get the best escorts for all tastes in Melbourne, or go hang out with horny moms on the Twilight tour in Italy – but these are some I’ve personally enjoyed. Check ’em out if you’re ever in the neighborhood!

Kink Shoppe (Philadelphia)

I secretly think most of the best sex shops have a heavy focus on kink. It’s not that “vanilla” sex toys aren’t important – they are – but I find that if a shop is run and frequented by kinksters, it tends to have a better and more thought-out selection of products, both kinky and not. After all, kinksters do love to be overanalytical and nerdy about their sex lives! Kink Shoppe in Philly is no exception: it has a wide array of toys ranging from mild (cute vibrators, colorful dildos) to wild (ball crushers, gas masks). My partner bought a pair of vampire gloves there and they have served us well! P.S. If you want dessert after your sex-shop date, walk a block west to the Franklin Fountain for ice cream. Yummm.

Drink (Boston)

This is supposedly the #1 cocktail bar in Boston and I believe it. The bartenders are brilliant and worth the wait. (There was about a 45-minute-long line when my partner and I went; we played Scrabble on my phone and people-watched while we waited.) They have no cocktail menu, so you just tell them what kinds of things you like and dislike in a drink and they’ll make you something great. And then, if you’re me, you go back to your hotel and do a watersports scene. *shrug*

Spartacus (Portland)

This is maybe the best sex shop I’ve ever been to, and I don’t say that lightly! I’d heard of the Spartacus brand of sex products before, but didn’t know they had an actual retail location – and OMG, it is amazing. You could easily spend a good 2-3 hours picking through the massive selection of stuff. My partner and I walked out with a bottle of Sliquid lube and a pair of scandalous fishnet underwear, but honestly, there were like 12 other things I could’ve bought. Plus the cashier didn’t unnecessarily gender us. Score.

Onoir (Montreal)

Some relationship psychology theorists say an easy way to “rekindle the spark” is to do something new and/or scary together. Roller coasters and horror movies are the commonly cited examples, but I don’t like jump-scares or loop-de-loops… Onoir served a similar function when my partner and I went there, though! It’s a fine dining experience in a completely dark room, where you’re led around and waited on by blind servers. It’ll certainly make you think differently about food, and maybe about your beau, too!

Museum of Sex (New York)

Periodically a friend of mine will go on vacation to New York and will message me to ask if I think the Museum of Sex is worth a visit. It really depends on what the current exhibitions are – I’ve seen some pretty good ones and some pretty boring ones – but for the most part, I’d say if you’re a sex nerd visiting NYC, you should check it out. The lobby is a sex shop stocked by someone who clearly knows what they’re doing, so you can cap off your visit by buying a luxury thruster, CBD lube, or a vintage copy of Playboy. Ideal.

 

What are your favorite sexy or date-y spots you’ve visited on your travels?

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Date Diaries: Montreal

Montreal is a beautiful city that I love. I’ve only been there a handful of times, but each time, I’ve fallen in love all over again with the bilingualism, the cultural flair, the low rents compared to Toronto (!), the beautiful restaurants and cafés. It’s a city I would love to live in, if my French were a little sharper.

My partner and I spent a week in Montreal recently, and he’s the type to seek out the absolute best places on Foursquare whenever we go anywhere new, so I got to experience a lot of MTL highlights. Here are some spots I think you should check out if you and your beloved(s) ever set foot in this city…

Toqué!

If you’re looking for fine food and great wine, this spot is a must-do. Their foie gras is absolutely divine, and I loved their duck. Their dishes are plated meticulously and artfully – “tweezified,” as my partner says. We were also charmed by how they brought over a portable hook to our table for me to hang my bag from!

Onoir

This was a recommendation from Rae and Piph, whose tastes I trust, so we knew we had to check it out. It’s a restaurant where you eat in COMPLETE DARKNESS. The waitstaff are all blind, and once you’ve been briefed on the protocol of the place and chosen your menu selections, they lead you into a pitch-black room as you cling to their shoulder with one hand. Then they bring you food and drink, bumping each dish or glass into your shoulder so you can take it and place it on the table in front of you, hoping against hope that you won’t lose it once you’ve set it down.

It was an absolutely wild experience having dinner across from someone I’ve had many dinners with but being unable to see him, or my food. It completely changed the way I experienced the meal, and the date. Certainly it gave me more empathy for the blind (though, notably, not all blind people think the restaurant is a great idea), and it also amped up my appreciation for the taste and texture of my food. However, by the end of the meal, my partner and I were starting to panic a little; we wanted to get back to our lit-up, visible world! I’ll always remember shouting our waiter’s name – “MAURICE!” – as we sat together in the dark, frozen in fear but also giggling in glee…

La Finca

This sweet little café was less than a block away from the hotel we stayed at, so we went here several times, and it was great every time. Great coffee, great baked goods, great vibe.

Boho

The classy and tropical vibe of this cocktail bar makes it feel like someplace Don Draper might go while vacationing in Hawaii. And my drink was served in a plastic pineapple, so I don’t know what else you could want from an establishment, really.

Le Cartet

Hard to go past this place for fancy breakfast/brunch! I ordered a big skillet full of eggs, bacon, sausage, ham, and toast – pretty much everything I could want from a breakfast – and a big ol’ maple latte. (When in Québec, consume as much maple stuff as possible. You gotta.)

Le Mal Nécessaire

While my boyfriend tells me this isn’t technically a tiki bar because we didn’t see any tikis, they do have a tiki-ish vibe and you can order a cocktail served in a full-size pineapple, so there’s that. I loved the atmosphere in this cute little underground bar.

Bagel, Etc.

Leonard Cohen supposedly hung out here a lot when he lived in Montreal. It’s an eclectically-decorated restaurant known for its breakfast and brunch offerings. I love to get a big breakfast special here – eggs, bacon, the works – with an obligatory locally-made bagel. Divine.

La Grande Roue de Montreal

If you think Ferris wheels are at all romantic or exciting, this one’s worth a visit. You get a fantastic view of the city, plus you get to walk along the lovely waterfront to get there. You’ll be placed in groups of 8 for the ride, so it’s not the most intimate experience, but it’s still nice nonetheless.

Moishes

This steakhouse obviously does steak quite well; their shrimp cocktail is also great and our meal came with GIANT PICKLES that delighted me to no end. Also, can confirm that Moishes leftovers hold up: the day after our dinner here, I shoveled cold steak and potatoes into my face while sitting in our hotel bed and they were honestly still delightful.

Olive et Gourmando

I’m still daydreaming about the sweet ricotta dish at this sweet brunch spot in historic Old Montreal. They also had fantastic fresh-squeezed orange juice, and staff who were attentive and (frankly) attractive as hell. We will definitely go back here next time we’re in MTL.

Dominion Square Tavern

This unassuming gastropub ranks among the best cocktail spots in Montreal, which I felt doubtful about until I actually tried one of their drinks. Their “Gin & Mint” – actually just a Southside, my fave, with lemon juice – was blissful, and they do a super-boozy “Canadian Old Fashioned” that led to some good sloshed conversations at their cozy bar. I bet their food is great too, but we didn’t try any.

Divine Chocolatier

If artisanal chocolate is your jam (so to speak), you gotta check out this little chocolate shop. Their truffles are adorable little bites of perfection, and their “secret bar” is intriguingly delicious. (I asked “What makes it a ‘secret’ bar?” and the owner smiled mysteriously and told me, “It’s a secret.”)

Belon

This oyster bar was a block from our hotel, and boy, were we glad. It’s spacious and sophisticated, with a fully-stocked bar and – of course – amazing oysters, with all the fixins. We were feeling indulgent and had two dozen – whoops.

Au Pied de Cochon

This very, very French spot has some weird-yet-delicious items on their menu. I got a squid ink risotto – definitely one of the strangest things I’ve ever eaten or even seen at a restaurant – and my partner got this odd “duck in a can” dish. The portions were big and the atmosphere was jovial. I mean, how can you not love a place that’ll serve you champagne and a jet-black risotto that “tastes like the sea”?

Café Olimpico

This Mile End spot is known for its excellent coffee. It’s also the spot where author Sean Michaels (my cousin) wrote his Giller Prize-winning novel Us Conductors, which I love, so I’m biased. Get an allongé and a biscotti and soak up the atmosphere.

Montreal Improv

Montreal has a robust improv comedy scene, and this theatre offers shows in both English and French. If you can see anything featuring their director, Marc Rowland, absolutely do – I’m a total improv snob and have rarely laughed so hard at a show as I did watching him do a longform set at Sunday Sunday.

The Coldroom

You have to ring a bell at a mysteriously blank door and wait to be let into this secretive underground cocktail bar, but it’s worth the rigamarole. They can make you any classic cocktail, as well as several drinks from their in-house menu. I’ve ordered a Southside at nearly every bar I’ve visited in Canada and the U.S. over the past year and a half, and the one a bartender made me here was one of my all-time faves.

Atwater Cocktail Club

Another must-visit if you love cocktails, especially classics. The bartenders here are skilled and personable – ours took the time to learn our names, and chatted with us in between bringing us stellar drinks (the margarita I had here was one of my fave drinks of the whole trip). It’s a bit tricky to find the entrance of this place, hidden away between two buildings, but it’s worth sleuthing out.

L’Express

This place is just a good old-fashioned classy French restaurant, complete with charmingly cordial waiters, an epic wine menu, and a killer cacio e pepe that rivals the ones I had in Italy. Their desserts are particularly magnificent.

 

Do you have favorite date spots in Montreal?