rabbit vibrator

Review: AcmeJoy 3-in-1 Rabbit

Kate Sloan

What is the AcmeJoy 3-in-1 rabbit?

Okay, technically its name is the AcmeJoy 3-in-1 7 Vibrating Modes Rabbit G-Spot Stimulator Anal Dildo Vibrator, but I won’t be calling it that, obviously.

This toy is essentially a standard rabbit vibrator – vibrating shaft with a G-spot curve, fluttery bunny ears for clitoral stimulation – but with an added arm for anal penetration, so it stimulates three erogenous zones at once.

Triple-stimulation toys are always a bit, shall we say, ambitious. Given how many toys only attempt to do one thing and still fail at it, it’s a confident move – almost cocky – for a sex toy company to make a toy that they claim can do three things well. Can AcmeJoy rise to the challenge?

 

Things I like about this toy

  • There are two separate motors in this rabbit. Many dual- or triple-stim vibes only have one motor, trusting that the vibrations will travel throughout the toy to stimulate all the zones it targets, but those toys usually fall short power-wise, and it’s annoying not being able to control the components separately. By contrast, this AcmeJoy rabbit’s two motors can each be controlled individually, using their respective buttons. The motors are located in the clitoral arm and the vaginal arm; the anal arm doesn’t get its own motor, which I think was the right call, because the vibrations are easily conducted through the anal arm as-is and it probably would’ve been overkill to add a third motor.
  • The motor in the vaginal arm is surprisingly strong and even kind of rumbly. I would place it at a 4.5 out of 10 on the rumbly-to-buzzy scale, at least on its first setting; it gets buzzier as you turn it up. I found that the vaginal arm actually felt really good when I tried it out clitorally, for this reason, and it also felt excellent vaginally because the lower-pitched vibrations stimulated my G-spot/internal clit without numbing them out or irritating them with buzziness.
  • I don’t normally care for vibration patterns, but the ones in the vaginal arm of this toy are actually great. There are various types of pulsing which can all feel surprisingly similar to someone thrusting against my G-spot. Despite the disappointments of the clitoral motor (more on that below), these vaginal vibration patterns were so stimulating that this toy could theoretically get me off on a particularly sensitive day, even though I normally need top-tier clitoral stimulation for that.
  • The vaginal arm’s G-spot curve is well-designed. It reminds me of the Lelo Mona (which is excellent), its big head pressing up into my spot insistently but not annoyingly or aggressively. It feels good when kept in one place but can feel fantastic when it’s being thrusted.
  • On that note, this is a rabbit that I found works surprisingly well for thrusting, albeit only with short and relatively deep thrusts (the kind I tend to prefer anyway). The clitoral arm has some flex to it, as do the rabbit ears topping it off, so it moves with my body when I thrust – and the anal beads feel awesome as they move in and out, adding significant stimulation into the mix. I’m not normally the biggest fan of double penetration, as it can be overwhelming or uncomfortable, but it works well here, even with motion involved.
  • Related: One of the reasons I don’t usually like double penetration is that it makes me feel overstuffed down there, which makes it hard to focus on vaginal or anal pleasure. But the internal arms of this toy are well-shaped and well-proportioned (for my body, anyway) so I don’t experience any of that “Thanksgiving turkey” overstuffedness. The anal arm starts out at a diameter of about 0.55″ and is only about an inch at its widest, so it’s beginner-friendly and was comfy for me despite me not using anal toys super often.
  • Usually with double-penetration toys, it’s hard to figure out which order to insert the arms in – do you go vag first, butt second, or vice-versa? This difficulty can be compounded by a floppy anal arm writhing around as you’re trying to insert it. But those problems aren’t present here – the anal arm is firm enough to be inserted easily, but still flexible enough to feel comfortable, and it never took me more than a few seconds to slip it into my ass once the vaginal arm was already inside me. (You just gotta use a lot of lube on both arms, but that’s par for the course, especially with anal toys.)
  • Speaking of lube, the “beads” of the anal arm hold onto lube pretty well, so it doesn’t drip all over the place when I’m getting the toy ready for insertion. (I use a thick-ish water-based lube, though, so your mileage may vary if you’re using a thinner/runnier formula.)
  • I had no issue getting the clitoral arm to actually reach my clit, which is frequently a problem with other rabbits. The flexibility of that arm no doubt helped with this. Actually I found that the rabbit’s head, moreso than its ears, usually landed on my clit, but that’s fine with me and probably even feels better for my pleasure preferences.
  • The buttons are well-placed, intuitively organized, and can’t easily be pressed by accident. They also light up when the toy is on, so you can find them in the dark.
  • When you first turn the toy on, only the vaginal motor is engaged – you have to manually turn on the clitoral motor if you want to use it. I actually prefer this, because it works well for a warm-up; I can still feel the vibrations from the vaginal arm traveling through to the clitoral arm even when the clit motor is off, so it’s a good tease before I’m ready to use full-fledged vibrations on my clit.

 

Things I don’t like about this toy

  • My main complaint is that the clitoral motor kinda sucks. It’s not awful, but it’s definitely not as strong as the vaginal motor and is noticeably buzzier as well. I get that you have to pick your priorities, power-wise, when designing a multi-function sex toy, because motors only have so much power available to them – but IMO clitoral stimulation is more important for most people (and the research bears this out) so I’d prefer if companies allocated more power to the clitoral motor in these sorts of toys, if they have to choose one component to privilege in that way.
  • Relatedly, each motor has only 3 steady speeds of vibration before it switches to patterns – and while this doesn’t bother me on the vaginal arm because I actually prefer the patterns, I always find myself wishing there were more clitoral speeds and that the jumps between the existing speeds were less huge. It’s jarring, especially with the vibrations being buzzy.
  • When I angle the vibe so that its vaginal arm makes the best contact with my G-spot, the anal arm tends to slide out of me. This is a pretty predictable hazard of triple-stimulation toys: it’s really hard (if not impossible) to design a toy that will hit these 3 different erogenous zones regardless of anatomical differences between users, like the distance from the clit to the vaginal opening, or from the vag to the butthole.
  • It’s only splashproof, not waterproof.

Final thoughts

I was surprised by how close the AcmeJoy 3-in-1 rabbit got me to coming. Its blend of rumbly internal vibration patterns, consistent clitoral contact during thrusting, and extra-stimulating anal beads is… a lot, in a good way.

The problem is the clitoral motor, which is (for me, and many others) the most important part of a toy like this, and often the part that turns out to be a letdown. It needs to be stronger, rumblier, and to have a wider range of settings with smaller jumps between them.

But aside from that, this is pretty close to the ideal triple-stimulation rabbit, so it’s worth considering if that’s an intriguing idea for you. Especially at its current sale price of $27.99, I think it’s a good deal for how much sensation it serves up. You’d probably like it more than I did if you’re really into G-spot stimulation and/or anal play and find those activities stimulating enough on their own, or with minimal clit stim. ‘Cause let’s be honest, the clitoral bunny on this vibe is really not pulling its weight.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Bestvibe Seven Rolling Licking Rabbit Vibrator

Kate Sloan
All images via Bestvibe

I like vibrators. I like tongues. I like being fucked. Why not combine all those things into one toy?!

That’s exactly what the Bestvibe Seven Rolling Licking Rabbit Vibrator aims to do. Let’s find out how it performs!

 

What is the Bestvibe Seven Rolling Licking Rabbit Vibrator?

This is a dual-stim vibrator that has three different functions: vibration in the external part (though this is falsely advertised as “licking” – more on that below), vibration in the internal part, and the back-and-forth rolling of some small balls under the surface of the toy’s shaft.

Things I like about this toy

  • There are three buttons on this toy and each corresponds to one of its three functions, so you can control them independently from each other. You still have to cycle through each function’s 7 settings by pressing its one button, which can be annoying, but is probably less annoying than it would be to have an “up” and “down” button for each of the three functions.
  • The “rolling” function is easily my favorite, because it’s the most unique: little balls or beads move in tandem under the surface of the shaft, but instead of rotating around the shaft like they do on many standard rabbits, these ones move up and down the shaft. This creates a sensation that feels surprisingly like thrusting when it’s inside me, despite the fact that the shaft itself is staying still. This is an interesting way of approaching the “it’s hard to thrust with rabbit vibes without losing clit contact” problem.
  • Furthermore, amongst the rolling function’s 7 settings are some that focus more toward the base of the shaft, some that stay closer to the head, and several that traverse more length than that. This makes for an interesting variety of sensations and is something I don’t often see implemented in toys for vulvas (some “blowjob simulator”-type toys do similar things for penises, allowing you to focus on specific parts of the shaft at any given time).
  • While the marketing copy for this toy claims that its internal portion targets the G-spot, I actually find it to be more A-spotty, which I love. The long shaft and very slight curve at the tip are classic features of an A-spot toy. When I push this one deep enough, the rolling balls on the shaft can get pretty close to my A-spot while still rolling across my G-spot, which feels awesome and unlike any other toy I can think of.
  • It’s waterproof!

Things I don’t like about this toy

  • I feel it’s misleading for Bestvibe to call the clit-stimulation function of this toy “licking,” because – while that part of the toy is made out of little silicone “tongues” – the tongues just vibrate, and don’t actually move/flap/lick, the way something like a Sqweel does. Moreover, because the tongues’ vibrations are so overwhelmingly buzzy, they don’t tremble up and down to any significant degree while vibrating, the way a rumblier motor might cause them to. In fact, focusing these wildly buzzy vibrations into such small, pointed shapes is downright uncomfortable at times, at least for my relatively sensitive clit.
  • On that note, the vibrations – both internally and externally – are so buzzy as to be basically useless for me. Any body part that stays in contact with them for more than about 30 seconds starts to feel numb and itchy. Not my cup of tea at all, but if you like buzzy vibrations, you might enjoy this toy.
  • Each of the vibration settings only has 3 steady speeds followed by 4 patterns. Generally I need a wider range of steady speeds to be able to get off with a vibrator. There’s not even that much of a discernible difference between the speeds on this toy, possibly because my bits are so numb by that point that I can’t tell when the vibrations get stronger.
  • The clitoral arm is too short for me. If I get it into a position that actually feels okay for my clit, then the internal arm loses contact with the spots that feel good inside, and vice-versa. For similar reasons, you can’t manually thrust this toy in and out, at least not if you want the clit arm to stay in contact with your body.
  • As often happens in multi-function toys with less-than-stellar engineering, each of this toy’s functions noticeably loses power when you turn on another one of the functions. This often has the effect of ruining orgasms because (for example) if I’ve been using the rolling + clit vibration functions and need a little more power to get me there, turning on the internal vibrations would just weaken all three at that crucial moment.
  • The rolling function is pretty loud, and mechanical whirring isn’t exactly a turn-on, but what can ya do.

Final thoughts

I can’t stand aggressively buzzy vibrations so I really didn’t get along well with the Bestvibe Seven Rolling Licking Rabbit Vibrator. I wish its motor was way rumblier, largely so that the tongues on its clitoral arm would flutter pleasantly, rather than just aiming a concentrated beam of discomfort at my clit.

However, I really like the toy’s rolling balls function and wish more dual-stim toys made use of technologies like this, to create sensations that are more interesting and unique than just G-spot vibration. I also dig the length and shape of the toy for A-spot stimulation; it’s hard to find dual-stim vibes that do this well.

Overall though, I can’t really recommend this toy, especially since it costs £52.99 (about $65 USD or $86 CAD). That’s too much to pay just to have your genitals numbed out.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: SnailVibe

Kate Sloan

I was recently tasked with writing an article about the best rabbit vibrators on the market. As per my usual process for such articles, I dug deep into the annals of my own memory to find this information, as well as interviewing several experts in the field: sex toy reviewers, sex educators, and so on.

I did six interviews for this piece, and when asked what rabbit vibes they would recommend, almost every interviewee said some version of the same thing: “I know the We-Vibe Nova 2 is good. Can’t really think of too many others.” This was, unfortunately, the exact same opinion I myself had held before I began the research process for the piece.

My wonderful interviewees were able to give me useful recommendations, and I do think that that article covers the cream of the crop when it comes to rabbit vibes, a notoriously difficult category of toy to execute well. But it really is true: the We-Vibe Nova 2 is one of the best rabbit vibrators released in the last 5 years, if not more, for one major reason. It maintains firm contact with your clit even when you thrust with it.

There are other reasons too – it has a great motor, many settings, a travel-lock function, is rechargeable, is made by a reputable company, etc. But I think the main thing the Nova got right was its approach to clit contact, and the new-ish SnailVibe is astounding for exactly the same reason.

 

What is the SnailVibe & how do you use it?

The SnailVibe is a dual-stimulation vibrator, i.e. a vibrator that offers vaginal penetration and simultaneous clitoral stimulation. (One could also, theoretically, use it for anal penetration, with the external portion stimulating the perineum.)

What sets the SnailVibe apart from all other dual-stim vibes is its spiral-shaped external portion, which is designed to roll/furl and unfurl every time you thrust the internal portion in and out. The spiral offers enough resistance that it remains firmly in contact with the clit (or at least, my clit) for the entire thrust.

I cannot overstate how important clitoral pleasure is to many vulva-havers’ sexual response, and to my own. The clitoris is the anatomical pleasure equivalent of the penis, so for many of us, it is absolutely central, potentially much moreso than penetration. It always baffled me that so many toy companies seemed to put all their resources and inventiveness into bells and whistles on the penetrative parts of rabbit vibes – rotating beads, come-hither stroking, and so on – while assuming a pair of flimsy rabbit ears would be enough in the clitoral stimulation department. The SnailVibe seems, comparatively, much more focused on clit pleasure, and I appreciate it.

 

via GIPHY

How does it feel?

The SnailVibe has two motors and both of them are excellent. I don’t even have that much to say about them because they’re just… satisfyingly good, at the level one would hope and expect from a vibrator at this price point ($150 USD or about $200 CAD). I will say, there are some surprisingly huge jumps between vibration speeds, which are sometimes jarring, but mostly it doesn’t bother me that much.

The toy is designed such that the clitoral portion not only remains in contact with the clit during each thrust, but maintains pretty firm pressure on it. So if you’re not a fan of clitoral pressure, this might not be the toy for you – maybe the fluttery ears on standard rabbit vibes are more your speed.

Another sex toy reviewer, Felicity of Phallophile Reviews, disliked the SnailVibe intensely because its penetrative shaft is long, straight, and rigid. This is one of the key qualities that could make a user either love or hate this toy. If you want intense G-spot stimulation, it’s true that this is not the right toy for the job. But if you tend to enjoy thrusting for how it stimulates your vaginal walls more generally, and/or if you like deep, firm penetration that strokes your anterior fornix or posterior fornix, I think you’re likelier to appreciate this toy.

The shaft is also pretty long – 8 inches insertable – which could be off-putting for some folks, but I don’t think it has to be. You don’t have to use the full length of a sex toy in order to use it at all, and this vibe is designed such that you’ll get clitoral contact if you insert the vibe as shallowly as 2 inches inside you.

The buttons that control this toy are intuitively-placed, IMO, and thus great for finding and using in the heat of the moment. You can control the internal and external motor separately, and set each to any of several steady vibration modes and patterns at any time.

 

Drawbacks & things to keep in mind

YOU HAVE TO PUT LUBE ON THE EXTERNAL PART. If you found this review while idly googling the sex toy you just bought, I hope this is the main thing you take away from this review. PUT LUBE ON THE EXTERNAL PART.

The external part doesn’t just sit there statically; it spins/rotates against your clit, so if it’s unlubed, it’ll just scrape over the area uncomfortably. This toy literally feels completely different when the external part is lubed. It’s non-negotiable as far as I’m concerned. (Don’t forget to add some additional moisture to reactivate your lube every so often if you’re using a water-based one.)

I find that thrusting with this toy is the only way I can get myself off with it. Its straight shaft and firm clit stimulator don’t quite do enough to get me there without additional motion. If you want a rabbit vibe you can use without needing to move it or hold it, I’d suggest a rabbit that thrusts or strokes the G-spot.

 

Final thoughts

I’m not generally a huge fan of dual-stimulation toys, but I have to say that the SnailVibe is in the top 3 I’ve ever tried in terms of sensation (the others being, I think, the We-Vibe Nova 2 and the CalEx silicone jack rabbit). It’s rumbly as hell, feels lovely when thrusted, and gets me off easily every time. It’s also entirely unique and hella cute-looking.

It won’t work for everyone – you gotta like (or be okay with) firm clitoral pressure, thrusting, and rigid penetration that targets spots deeper than the G-spot – but there is no vibrator that would work for everyone, and that’s like 10 times as true when it comes to rabbit vibes. I’m glad to have found another one that works for me, even though it looks like a damn snail.

 

Thanks to the folks at Lovers for sending me the SnailVibe to review!

Review: V for Vibes Bia Ejaculating Rabbit Vibrator

Kate Sloan

When I told my friend Bex I was going to review an ejaculating rabbit vibrator, he said, “I’ve heard all of those words, but never quite expected to hear them together in that order.” My thoughts exactly.

This was, pretty universally, the reaction of everyone I told about the V for Vibes Bia ejaculating rabbit vibrator. Friends wondered, as I was wondering: Aren’t “ejaculating” toys usually realistic dildos, since most people who are into the fantasy of seeing dicks come are into, well… seeing dicks come? What is the overlap, if any, between people who want a rabbit vibe and people who want a squirting toy?

One of the first things I noticed about the Bia was that it’s adorable as hell. It’s a bright blue, silicone, rechargeable rabbit vibe with a simple silhouette and a diameter of about 1.35″. It looks like the rabbit of my dreams – but how does it feel?

Like many rabbits, this one has two separate motors – the inside one that presses on your G-spot, and the outside one that tickles your clit with its li’l rabbit ears. There are 12 different vibration patterns you can scroll through with one button; the patterns are pre-selected and pretty chaotic, and the motors can’t be controlled independently. (I think all dual-stimulation vibes should allow you to control their two functions independently of each other, but I’m a snob, so your mileage may vary.)

Both motors are, unfortunately, quite buzzy. They have enough power to feel impactful, but start to cause some numbness pretty soon after I put ’em on/in my bits. That said, this is a rabbit that lends itself unusually well to thrusting, which is especially important for buzzy vibes. I find that the slight desensitization caused by this toy can be combated by thrusting it in and out slightly, since the motion and rhythm make up for the loss of some sensation.

There are only a few rabbit vibes I’ve found I could thrust with, the We-Vibe Nova being one of them. The Bia achieves its thrustability by having a firm-yet-flexible clitoral portion that stays put reasonably well on top of my clit while I move the rest of the toy in and out. This is the way I come most easily with this toy. If you prefer to hold your rabbit vibes static, I would recommend a rumblier one instead, like the aforementioned Nova. I’d also recommend one that will press more firmly against your internal spots while staying still; the Bia’s curve is quite gentle, so I only really get G-spot pleasure from it while I’m thrusting, which is fine with me but won’t be everyone’s preference.

The handle of the Bia also aids in said thrusting. It’s surprisingly ergonomic, curved downward to allow for an easy, steady grip while you manipulate the toy. As someone whose hands often hurt, I appreciate this feature!

But what about the ejaculation?! Well, you should know upfront that it doesn’t look how a flesh-and-blood cock looks when it comes. There is no rhythmic spurting, no Olympian long-distance spraying – so it’s probably not what you need if you’re interested in this toy for exhibitionistic or porn-making purposes. But I like it anyway.

You load the toy’s “cum chamber” by twisting off its base and pouring a liquid of your choice into the receptacle. Theoretically, you could use any liquid that’s thin enough to be squirted out of the toy (think hand-soap consistency or runnier), but my personal fave for this purpose is FuckWater’s hybrid lube. It’s mainly water-based, so it’s safe to use with a silicone toy, but contains just enough silicone lube to give it a slipperier feel and a more cum-like appearance. You don’t need to fill the entire chamber with lube in order for the squirting to work – and in fact, you shouldn’t, unless you know you’re gonna use a fuckton of lube, because you’ll just have to clean the excess out of the toy when you’re done, effectively wasting any you haven’t used.

The actual “ejaculation” happens when you press and hold the “raindrop” button on the toy. The way it works reminds me of one of those mechanized soap dispensers; it whirrs loudly, and slowly dispenses lube through its cum-hole for the duration of however long you press the button. Rather than looking like an actual ejaculation, it’s more like when someone has already come but their dick still drips a little residual semen afterward. Personally, I found the look of it hotter than I expected to, although the loud mechanical whirring kind of dampens the magic. So does the fact that you have to dissemble and rinse out the toy after every use and let it dry fully before reassembling it.

Besides the hotness factor, this squirting feature is potentially useful as a lube dispensation tactic. Should you notice that you’re drying out a bit while you’re using the toy, you can hold down the squirt button to pump a bit more lube into your body without needing to go through the whole rigamarole of removing the toy, re-lubing, and re-inserting. It’s pretty cool, and not something I’ve been able to do with any other toy before.

I wish the Bia rabbit vibrator had a far rumblier vibration quality and that its two motors could be controlled separately of one another, both features I think are reasonable to expect of a $100 vibrator. I also wish it was quieter and had more of a G-spot curve. But the squirting function is inventive and fun, the aesthetic of the toy is delightful, and I have had orgasms while thrusting it quickly in and out of me. When I first started using it, I didn’t understand why anyone would want a squirting rabbit vibe – but now, having used it a handful of times, I think I finally get it.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning that I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Tracy’s Dog Craybit

Kate Sloan

My relationship with the sex toy company Tracy’s Dog didn’t exactly start off on the right foot. Er, the right paw.

They’ve sent me a bunch of pitch emails over the years, often containing weird glaring missteps, like accidentally addressing me as Emmeline (she was my roommate at the Woodhull conference once, but we’re not the same person!) and – in the most recent case – kiiinda plagiarizing my own writing back at me.

I got an email from Tracy’s Dog a while ago about their new rabbit vibe, the Craybit (so called because its strange tagline is “Let’s get crazy a little bit”). This toy’s claim to fame is that it has three motors: one to target the clit, one to target the G-spot, and one to target one of my very favorite erogenous zones, the A-spot. “You might be familiar with the G-Spot stimulation from toys and fingering, but have you ever experienced A-Spot orgasm?” their email asked. (Uh, yes, I have been known to.) “The feeling of hitting A-Spot is totally different from G-Spot [sic]. It is a more intense, molten-hot, addictive sensation that melts your soul and your body!”

That phrasing gave me déja vu, so I googled it, and… the only instance online of the phrase “molten-hot, addictive” is in an article I wrote for Glamour about the A-spot. Guess this company liked the piece. 😂

While this is aggravating, it also made me reflect on how this points to the little-known-ness of the A-spot. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen someone crib language from my own writing on this topic when extolling the virtues of the A-spot – especially since, aside from a few other sex writers I know such as Zoe Ligon and Cy of Super Smash Cache (both of whom are excellent), not many people go into detail about this spot on a regular basis.

The only reason I can think of for this linguistic borrowing is that the companies’ copywriters haven’t experienced A-spot pleasure themselves. If they had, they would be able to write about it in their own words. And while part of that is due to the simple fact that not everyone likes A-spot stim (just as not everyone likes G-spot or prostate stim), another part of it is due to how seldom the A-spot is discussed and explained compared to erogenous zones whose names show up more often on Cosmopolitan and Men’s Health covers.

All this to say, it’s always a thrill for me to see new toys being developed and released that specifically mention the A-spot in their marketing copy (ideally in the companies’ own words). It means that not only is the desire for A-spot stimulation being affirmed – it’s being actively catered to. Hooray!

The Craybit rabbit comes in an elegant black cardboard gift box with the company logo lettered on it in silver script. Inside is a charging cable for this USB-rechargeable toy, and an instruction booklet which details the vibe’s 15 (!) modes. These are pretty unique as far as vibrator patterns go, because the Craybit is juggling three motors at once. Some of the modes are more basic – all three motors on a steady speed, or all three thumping in synchrony – but some are more complex: the clit vibe can thrum in hills and valleys while the internal motors pulse erratically, for example, or each motor can throb in turn, like they’re singing in a round together.

Unfortunately none of these patterns do what I really want this type of vibe to be able to do: vibrate steadily on my clit while the internal motors pound rhythmically. My erogenous zones each crave a different type of stimulation, and I know I’m not alone in that. What my A-spot and G-spot want is always gonna be different from what my clit wants, and these patterns get it frustratingly almost-right. The closest to my ideal is the 8th one, which alternates between a low and high speed on the clit, stays steadily low on the G-spot, and pulses for a few beats on the A-spot before vibrating normally for a few more beats and then starting over at the beginning. As such, this vibe works better for me as a foreplay tease than as a “finisher.”

The motors are pretty decent – or possibly they just feel like they are because there are three of them. (Kinda like how three mediocre actors reciting the same Shakespeare monologue in unison would impress me more than just one of them stumbling through it.) I can’t actually isolate them to test them each on their own because all 15 of the toy’s modes utilize all three motors at once. This is ultimately the toy’s main flaw – that you can’t control the motors individually. I realize it would be a lot of buttons to have to cram onto the handle of a vibrator, but I really wish it were an option, even just via a Bluetooth app on your phone (and I am not normally one to say vibrator apps are good!). The perennial problem with rabbit vibrators is that everyone’s body is different so it’s hard for a dual-stimulation toy to get the stimulation right in both its motors for any particular person, and that problem is, of course, compounded once you introduce a third motor.

That said, my G-spot and A-spot appreciate the strong rumbliness of the Craybit’s internal motors. I just wish the clit motor was less buzzy (as far as I can tell, it’s the buzziest of the three), and that there were some lower speed settings. Even the lowest steady pattern feels overwhelming if I’m not warmed up – in much the same way as those three bad Shakespearian actors would be overwhelming if you were only expecting one or two to show up.

The clit stimulator is one of those classic two-pronged “bunny ears” situations. I actually like this one better than most others of its type, because the ears are made of solid, substantial silicone so they don’t flap around as much as these usually do, and it’s easier to get them to stay put on my clit. However, I know that’ll make it less appealing for people who find the flapping-around pleasurable.

The relative solidness of the bunny ears also introduces some problems, mainly that when I do need to adjust their positioning, I often end up accidentally slingshotting them onto my clit in a way that feels like a tiny slap. Not ideal… unless you’re into that.

The handle of the toy buzzes annoyingly when it’s on, but honestly I can’t really fault the designers for that – it’s a lot of vibration in one product, so I can see how it would be hard to keep the toy’s handle issues, uh, handled. Fortunately the toy is shaped such that it stays anchored in place pretty well in my vagina, snug against my G-spot and A-spot, so I can use it hands-free if I want to. The shape also makes it so that the most natural-feeling way to thrust this toy (if indeed you choose to thrust with it) is to use short, deep motions, which are exactly what my A-spot likes anyway. It’s a very thoughtful design.

There are a lot of weird things about Tracy’s Dog’s overall branding and marketing that I need to address. First of all, does anyone else immediately start singing “Tracy’s Dog has got it going on“ upon reading this company’s name? Secondly, did they really need to evoke a dog in the name of their, um, SEX TOY company? Thirdly, why do they have a YouTube channel where a hot tattooed man dressed like a cowboy answers frequently asked questions about the toy while shirtless, drinking whiskey, lighting a cigarette, playing a guitar, playing the chimes, staring pensively into a mirror, and giving problematic misinformation about the hymen while playing pool? …Okay, I have to admit I like the tattooed cowboy. But he raises even more questions for me than he answers. Is he supposed to be Tracy?! Is the dog in this video therefore the eponymous Tracy’s dog? Why is he always hanging out in what appears to be the world’s coolest saloon/motorcycle garage/house? Is he an actor who the company hired to perform in these videos? If so, where can I see the rest of his filmography in its entirety? Enquiring minds need to know.

I also noticed in my research for this review that some of the Craybit’s marketing copy says it’ll give you “an orgasm so intense that it straightens your legs out like a fainting goat,” which is how I ended up reading the whole Wikipedia article on fainting goats while absent-mindedly thrusting the toy in and out of me during a testing session. (Thanks to my friend Sarah, who loves goats, for enlightening me on this topic.) I don’t think I developed an odd fetish as a result of this episode, but who the hell knows. I also noticed that the same page contains a graphic that again uses my “molten-hot, addictive” turn of phrase. Guess it’s hard for an old dog to learn new tricks.

Overall, I like this vibe, and I love that it exists – yay, A-spot rep! – but I can’t say I’ll be reaching for it a lot. The Tracy’s Dog Craybit is an overwhelming vibrator that assails three of my major erogenous zones with strong simultaneous vibration. It does that very well, but that’s not really what I want out of a sex toy – I want to be able to control the sensations each spot feels at any given time, and that includes being able to start on a low speed. However, I can recommend this toy for you if you want a vibrator that will rock your entire internal clitoris with powerful patterns and va-va-voom vibrations – in other words, a vibrator that’ll make you feel, I guess, like a fainting goat.

 

This post was sponsored, which means that Tracy’s Dog paid me to write an honest and fair review of their product. As always, all writing and opinions are entirely my own.