silicone vibrator

Review: We-Vibe Wish

Kate Sloan

“It’s like two Tango motors in one toy,” said one of the managers at the sex shop where I worked, and my ears perked up so hard they practically fell off.

The We-Vibe Tango is my favorite vibrator. It’s my bedside buddy, my travel-size titillator, my ‘gasmic go-to. It comes with me on sex dates and on vacations. I use it solo, with partners, and various combinations thereof. It’s simply the strongest and rumbliest vibrator of its size (with the possible exception of the Swan Wand Mini, which I sadly don’t yet own), so nothing has yet unseated it as my number-one toy-bag essential.

You can imagine, then, how excited I was when I heard the We-Vibe Wish was like two Tangos in one. And in my favorite shade of bright turquoise, no less. “I Wish I owned one,” I started joking every time I showed it to customers at the shop, but it wasn’t really a joke.

The good folks at Luxury Vibrators sent me a Wish to try, and I’m sad to say it didn’t quite live up to my hopes. There’s a lot to love about it, but it’s not as flawless a fit with my personal anatomy and vibrator usage style as I had expected.

First, let’s talk about the motors. Yes, plural – because there are two of them. As it’s been explained to me, the vibrations shift back and forth quickly between the motors, creating what We-Vibe calls PowerPulse™: “a new, ultra-powerful vibration sensation that feels like waves of pleasure.” Indeed, it whirrs and rumbles unlike any other vibe I’ve felt of this size; the quality of vibration reminds me of the lower speeds on the Magic Wand Rechargeable, which is a very, very good thing.

That said, when I put pressure on the toy, I can feel the motors’ rhythm skipping like an arrhythmia. It doesn’t take much pressure to activate this flaw; sometimes it happens just from me lightly resting the toy against my clit. This is apparently a common problem with dual-motor toys: it was observed by many a reviewer about the Jimmyjane Form 2, for example. In the case of the Wish, it doesn’t interrupt the sensation on my clit too much, but it is definitely noticeable and often distracting, and makes me worry that the motors’ function will decline as time goes on.

As with most newer We-Vibe toys, this one is controllable via the company’s We-Connect app. While I love using my phone as an intuitive remote for more complex toys, it’s less useful for a simple vibe like the Wish: it’s easier and quicker to just cycle through modes using the vibe’s one button than to connect the toy to the app. You can use the app to let a partner control your vibe from across the room or across the planet, though, so that’s cool. And while the toy’s button lets you cycle through only three steady speeds (more on that in a sec), the app gives you more granular control: you can swipe or tap your way through 10 different steady speeds, plus several vibration patterns, plus make your own patterns if you are so inclined.

At the store, I used to tell customers that the Wish would be perfect for use during PIV – but now I regret that, because it isn’t really true. Despite its gentle, vulva-esque curve and squishy silicone housing, it’s just a little too big and bulky to comfortably fit between bodies, unless you’re intentionally leaving enough space between your pelvises. That curved shape also causes the Wish to make a rhythmic purring noise when a partner’s body moves against mine during intercourse. It sounds like a goddamn jaguar. “It was a bit distracting,” my beau said, tactfully, after a PIV sesh in which we were trying to be Seriously Kinky but just ended up Seriously Giggly because of those damn noises.

The other distracting factor: I was expecting the Wish to work like my ol’ faithful Tango, and it doesn’t. I thought it would have four steady speeds and four patterns, and that you’d have to cycle through all of them to get back to the beginning; that’s how the Tango works, and it’s not a perfect system, but I’m used to it and know how to do it in a hurry. The Wish has three steady speeds followed by seven patterns, which, as you might imagine, has been a bit of an adjustment for me. During PIV with a partner, I kept clicking to what I thought would be the highest steady speed, only to accidentally activate a pattern and fuck up my own impending orgasm. This is frustrating, but as with any vibrator, I could become accustomed to it if I was using this toy a lot.

It’d be less annoying to cycle through those ten modes if the Wish’s button was easier to locate and press in the heat of the moment. It’s smaller and flatter than the button on the Tango, takes a more thorough push, and feels tactilely similar to the magnetic charger port right next to it, so I have to look right at it when I press it, or I risk missing it altogether. This, again, would be mitigated if this was the only vibe I was using and I was therefore forced to get used to it, but that’s not the case. Even so: why does We-Vibe insist on only putting one button on most of their toys? I think everyone would be happier if they had an “increase speed/next mode” button and a “decrease speed/previous mode” button. It’d be way more intuitive than having to cycle through all the speeds and patterns to get back to the first one.

Shape-wise, the Wish is well-designed. Its pointed tip will appease those who like more pinpoint sensations like the Tango could deliver, while its edges and flat sides are ideal for broader stimulation or even full-body massage. In many ways, it feels like a wand vibe without the bulkiness and heaviness most of those toys suffer from.

It’s also just super cute. I love the way it looks in my hand: adorably turquoise, sensual but not overtly sexual, substantial but not massive. It’s the kind of toy that probably wouldn’t intimidate a partner (unless your partner is the worst), and that wouldn’t horribly embarrass you if you’d left it lying on your nightstand when company came over.

On top of all that, the Wish is 100% waterproof, charges magnetically (via a much better-developed system than the Tango’s frustratingly weak magnetic charger), and comes with a one-year warranty. I want to like it. We-Vibe tried so hard to make this a great toy. But the pressure-induced skips in vibration, plus the annoyance of having to cycle through all the modes, make it unlikely to join my roster of go-to vibes. It’s bigger than I’d prefer for usage with a partner, and more finicky than I’d prefer for usage alone. Dammit.

I’m still waiting for someone to make a decent competitor for the Tango. C’mon, vibrator industry. You can do it. I believe in you!

 

Thanks so much to Luxury Vibrators for sending me this product to review!

Review: 5 Vibrators Under $30

Kate Sloan

5 vibrators on a rainbow checked background

When it comes to sex toys, you get what you pay for. There’s a reason my favorite toys range in price from $79 to $299. True, many of these are so pricey that I’d have to save up for them for months if I wasn’t a sex toy reviewer, but they’re so good that they’d be worth it.

That said, not all cheap toys are bad. When people come into the sex shop where I work and want to buy a vibrator without spending an arm and a leg, I always recommend the Turbo Glider and the Orchid G, two low-end vibes that I know are actually pretty decent. My first-ever glass dildo cost me about $25, and made my vagina very happy for years. You don’t have to spend a zillion dollars to get something good; you just have to know what to look for.

I’ve partnered with Peepshow Toys to review five vibrators today, all under $30. I got to choose which ones I wanted to review, and aside from price, I had just two mandatory criteria: all the vibes had to be made of body-safe materials, because nary a phthalate nor a porous toy shall ever touch my bits again, and they all had to be waterproof, because I use toys in the bath fairly often. I picked five that met my standards, put ’em to the test, and was pleasantly surprised by (some of) my findings!

The B Swish Bcute Classic is the cheapest vibrator of all those mentioned in this post, at just $16. It requires one AA battery (not included) and is made of soft, smooth silicone and ABS plastic. The design is pretty classy and luxe-looking for a $16 toy, and I like the emerald-green color. Size-wise, it’s a happy medium between a bullet vibe and a classic insertable “smoothie” vibrator: you could use it internally if you like your penetration on the shorter, thinner side, but I only use mine externally.

Unfortunately, this vibe’s performance befits its low price point. It has the fewest vibration patterns of any vibe mentioned here (only two, plus three steady speeds), and it’s also the weakest and buzziest of these vibrators. Even on the highest speed, my clit barely registers that there’s a vibrator on it. This is exactly the type of vibe I try to steer first-time toy users away from, because if you thought this is what all vibration felt like, I wouldn’t blame you at all for thinking vibrators just aren’t your cup of tea. NEXT.

The Maia Twistty Madison invoked my rage instantly with that extra “T” that looks like a typo, but that’s not the only reason I hate it. First of all, it’s hot pink, which, no: enough already. It’s also got a ripply texture to it. There are definitely people out there who enjoy clitoral texture, or who would use a vibe this small internally, but I’m using it as a clit vibe and prefer those to be untextured. Thirdly, it’s got a showy LED light in the base that lights up brighter when the toy is vibrating more strongly, which is honestly pretty distracting and would be an actual goddamn health risk for people with epilepsy, I’d imagine.

The main issue, though, is the motor. (Well, what do I expect for a vibe that takes one AAA battery?) It’s weak. It’s buzzy. It induces numbness and itchiness in any body part it touches, including my hands as I hold it. It has 7 vibration patterns and most of them are too erratic and strobe-like to actually be pleasurable. Aside from the cute, silky, pink storage bag it comes with, there’s really nothing I like about this vibrator.

The Rocks-Off Bamboo is the last shitty vibrator I will rant about in this post, I promise. I really wanted to like it, because it’s so pretty: rose gold ABS plastic, angular and classy. I like the tilted flat tip (that same feature is one of the reasons I love the Tango), and I like that it’s thin enough to potentially fit between bodies during sex but long enough that I don’t feel like I’m clawing at it with a T-Rex hand.

But once again, the motor is a sticking point. While it’s slightly rumblier than the two vibes above, it’s still way too buzzy to get me off. In addition to its 7 patterns, it has 3 steady speeds, which – get this – you have to scroll through in order from highest to lowest. I fucking hate vibrators that work like this, because I never, ever use my vibrators that way: I always start at a low speed and work my way up, and I think that’s pretty common! So, while the Bamboo is gorgeous for a $21 vibe, I will definitely never use it again.

Okay, now let’s get to the good stuff. The ScreamingO Charged Vooom, despite its silly name, quite impressed me. It’s the rechargeable version of their standard Vooom bullet, and is so damn much better, as rechargeable vibes are wont to be. It’s pink, but it’s a deep, sexy, purply-raspberry pink that I actually like. It charges via USB with a cable that you have to stab through the little silicone hole at the bottom. Its one button cycles through 3 steady speeds (arranged goddamn properly, i.e. from low to high) and 7 patterns. Like the Twistty, the Charged Vooom has a light in its base which brightens and dims depending on the setting you’re on, so I wouldn’t recommend this one to folks with photosensitive epilepsy.

And the motor. HOORAY FOR THIS MOTOR. It’s not Tango-rumbly, but it is pretty rumbly for a $29 vibe. I can actually feel it thrumming against my clit and activating my internal clitoral structures instead of numbing me out. I can get off with this toy, consistently and easily, which is far more than I can say for any other vibe in this post thus far. It’s also the quietest one of the bunch. And because it’s the only one of these vibes that’s a standard bullet size, I’ll be able to use it with toys that have a hole for a bullet, like the Tantus Echo or the We-Vibe Dusk. YAY!

I saved the best for last, y’all. I got an excited email a while ago from a reader who said that the VeDO Bam rivals the Tango, and, well, you know me. I love my Tango. That shit got my attention. Like the Charged Vooom, the Bam costs $29, is rechargeable, and has 3 steady speeds and 7 patterns. But it’s thicker and longer – big enough that I could use it internally but small enough that I probably wouldn’t – and the motor is better.

It’s really kind of remarkable. I want VeDO to send their motor engineer(s) to give talks for other vibrator companies, to explain how you design a great motor for a cheap vibe (or for a vibe at any price point, frankly – even luxury toy companies sometimes fuck this up). It’s a little buzzier than the Tango, but still plenty rumbly and plenty strong. It gives me orgasms easily, quickly, and consistently. For TWENTY-NINE DOLLARS. Damn, VeDO! You done good!

Though the motor rules, the controls interface could be better-designed: you have to cycle through all the modes one by one to get to the one you want, the 3 steady speeds are arranged from high to low (?!), and I wish the patterns’ intensities could be adjusted. But that’s asking a lot for a $29 bullet. Aside from those quibbles, I adore the VeDO Bam; I’ve been using it almost as much as my Tango lately!

What are your favorite cheap vibes?

 

These toys were sent to me by Peepshow Toys in exchange for an honest review.

Review: Jimmyjane Intro 2

Kate Sloan

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I don’t think you quite understand the incongruity of shitty sex toy company Pipedream having bought out luxury sex toy company Jimmyjane. This is like if McDonalds bought out the Rainbow Room and started selling a deep-fried, mystery-meat bastardization of their filet mignon. This is a strange thing. This is a thing that should not have been allowed. And yet, it happened.

The Jimmyjane Intro 2 is, essentially, a deep-fried mystery-meat filet mignon of a sex toy. Pipedream took the bare bones of one of my favorite clitoral vibrators – the Form 2 – and made it cheap, battery-powered, awkwardly large, and even buzzier than before.

The Form 2 fit in my hand perfectly: small, smart and spartan. The Intro 2 is like the large-print version of the same toy – it feels unnecessarily big, to the point that I am always aware I am holding a sex toy and the vibrations can’t just melt into the periphery of my perception. This might make it a better choice than the Form 2 for people who struggle with hand dexterity – but for me, it’s just annoying.

But my main issue with the Intro 2 is the vibrations. I mean, it’s a vibrator; that’s always going to be the make-or-break factor. The Form 2 was buzzy-ish to begin with – moreso, certainly, than other blogger-revered clit vibes like the Tango and Siri 2 – but it had a rumbly base note that endeared it to my clit. The Intro 2 lacks that rumbly foundation, and is all buzz. That’s great if you like that, but I don’t. It numbs me out within a couple of minutes, leaving me to grumble gripes like “My kingdom for an Eroscillator!” and “Nah, that’s cool, I didn’t want to be able to feel my genitals or anything.”

imageThe Intro 2 also lacks my absolute favorite thing about the Form 2: a setting where the vibrations moved quickly back and forth between the toy’s two “ears,” creating what Jimmyjane termed “sensation in stereo.” To me, this setting felt more like oral sex than other toys that actually try to mimic oral sex; the vibrations flippity-flopping from one ear to the other were like the side-to-side flicking of a firm tongue. This setting’s been phased out in the Intro 2, and it really bums me out.

And we need to talk about the one button on the Intro 2, because it makes me want to throw this vibrator into a fire. Whereas the Form 2 had an elegant three-button control system (up, down, and change mode), the Intro 2 only has one button, via which you are forced to cycle through its multiple modes and speeds one by one. If there’s a particular setting or speed you love and want to get back to, you have to get through all the other ones first. No vibrator should be designed this way. Give me intuitive vibrator design or give me death.

It is, in some sense, exciting that Pipedream is trying to make fancy-ass Jimmyjane toys more accessible to lower-income folks. Not everyone can afford to spend $80+ on a luxury vibrator, and I get that. But even at a low price point, there are options that far outperform this buzzy, cumbersome facsimile. If you want a decent, rumbly clit vibe for under $50, try the Jopen L2 or Sensuelle Point. If you can afford to save up for something pricier but really excellent, grab the Tango for $79 ($71 with my discount code GIRLY10); it’s rumblier and more intuitive than anything Jimmyjane’s ever made, pre- or post-Pipedream buyout.

Babes, your clit deserves better than the Intro 2. Just like Jimmyjane deserved better than to be bought and rebranded by a company like Pipedream. Give your clit a happier ending than Jimmyjane got, please.

Thanks to Peepshow for sending me this toy to try!

Review: Lelo Mona Wave

Kate Sloan

There are a number of missteps that get sex bloggers up in arms. Conflating vulvas with vaginas. Sexist or racist toy marketing. Medical misinformation. We hate all of those things, but if you really wanna set off sex blogger tantrums galore, try telling us sex toys are a substitute for a human partner. Oh, we will flip our wigs.

So, what I’m about to say is somewhat sacrilegious, but: the Lelo Mona Wave is a sex toy which makes it glaringly, dishearteningly obvious that I am fucking a sex toy and not a person.

Normally this wouldn’t bother me. I’m under no illusions about sex toys needing to feel like real dicks, or mouths, or what have you. I know that human partners edge out toys in terms of spontaneity, excitement and responsiveness, but toys usually win when it comes to intense G-spot stimulation, hyper-efficient orgasms, or multi-tasking. But there’s something about the Mona Wave that routinely makes me sad it’s not a person. Like, deeply, disproportionately sad.

The Mona Wave is basically Lelo’s answer to Fun Factory’s Stronic line: automated thrusting for lazy masturbators comme moi. But while the Stronic thrums back and forth like a thrusting cock, the Mona Wave curls up and down like the come-hither-ing fingers of a G-spot-savvy lover. If that lover was extremely stoned or had just taken an elephant tranquilizer.

See, the Mona Wave’s motion is slooooow. There are two movement speeds, and they might as well be called “leisurely” and “tortoise-esque.” And that slowness is what makes me wish the toy was a human. It tries to directly imitate something humans do – that intense finger-curling that pleases so many G-spots the world over – but it does a bad job at replicating this act. If the Mona Wave were a human, I could sit up, give it a slightly exasperated look, and chirp, “Faster, please!” But it’s not a human, so I can’t do that. And it makes me feel… weirdly lonely.

Getting finger-fucked is one of my favorite acts. I fantasize about it frequently, and it’s often the way I get off with partners, their thick fingers stroking my insides as I hold a vibe to my clit. But what makes it exciting for me is the dynamism. It’s electrically hot to feel someone’s fingers quicken inside you when they sense that you need that, or ramp up the power of their thrusts as they feel you getting close. A well-attuned partner might slow down as you descend from the peak of your orgasm, or keep pounding at top speed if you prefer that. The Mona Wave doesn’t do any of these things, or even approximate them convincingly. And I know a toy isn’t a person, but it feels like Lelo has sent me a toy to do a person’s job.

Aside from the lacklustre motion settings, there’s not a whole lot to say about the Mona Wave. It vibrates, too, but as other reviewers have noted, the vibrations are disappointingly weaker than those on the standard Mona 2. I can rarely get off with the Mona 2 anyway – its vibrations are rumbly-ish but still just a liiiittle too buzzy for my demanding clit – so the Wave’s non-motion modes aren’t terribly exciting to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had several wonderful orgasms with the Mona Wave. But the G-spot stimulation is so tantalizingly slow that it feels like a partner is trying to keep me on the edge without letting me go over. If you’re into that sort of carefully meted sensation denial, you might enjoy the Mona Wave‘s lackadaisical stroking. But if your G-spot needs speed or pressure (and most need both), I’d recommend a Stronic thruster instead, or any decent G-spot dildo you can thrust by hand. You deserve better than a toy that almost gives you what you want.

Thanks for sending me this toy, Lelo!

Review: Shibari Mini Halo Wand

Kate Sloan

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I wanted to like the Shibari Mini Halo Wand. And there is so much that I do like about it. But it has a fatal flaw that I just can’t get past, no matter how much I try to convince myself it doesn’t matter.

So let’s get the Mini Halo’s hamartia out of the way right off the top. When you turn it on, it starts at the strongest vibration speed. If you want to get to the lowest speed instead, you have to hit the “change speed” button eight times.

Please take a moment to visualize yourself trying to press a vibrator’s button exactly eight times in the middle of a masturbation session – no more, no less. And then imagine yourself needing to do that multiple times during any given session. And then imagine yourself throwing the vibrator across the room in a fit of rage. Congratulations, you have just experienced a fraction of the aggravation I endured while trying to test the Shibari Mini Halo Wand.

See, when I use vibrators, I always begin at the lowest speed. My clit is sensitive so I need to start gentle and ramp up from there. If I start at a moderate or high power level, not only will it feel painful and uncomfortable, but it’ll also get me real numb real fast. And that significantly lowers my likelihood of reaching orgasm. So the lowest speed is the way to go, at least at first.

If you read that last paragraph and thought, “That’s not just you, GJ – that’s how most people use vibrators,” well, yes, I think you’re probably right. Which is why it’s so annoying that Shibari chose to design their wand this way. I could understand having the wand remember the speed you used last time and starting there, like the Doxy Wand does; I could even understand having the wand start at the top speed if there was also a “go to the lowest speed” button, to make that process instantaneous. But there isn’t. You gotta hit that middle button eight fucking times to get it to speed number one.

If it seems like I’m harping on this a lot, that’s because I am. And also because it irritates the fuck out of me. This wand could have been so great if not for this one issue.

The Mini Halo is a wonderful size for a wand vibrator. It fits in my hand comfortably, and is large enough to feel impactful but small enough to fit into a purse. The head is shaped such that you can get broad or narrower stimulation depending on how you angle it. The vibe feels solidly constructed, but retails for just $59, less than lots of “fancier” wands on the market.

The vibrations are excellent. They are deep, rumbly and penetrating. The intervals between each of the eight speeds are small, so the cranking-up process feels smooth and gradual rather than jumpy or jarring. The toy is rechargeable and holds its charge for a long time – I’ve had mine for over three months and have only needed to charge it once in that period. Although, admittedly, I probably only used it 7 or 8 times before deciding the deep, strong orgasms it delivers aren’t worth the hassle of dealing with its tragic flaw.

If you want a rechargeable wand vibe, get the Magic Wand, Iconic Wand or PalmPower. If you just want a strong, rumbly, awesome vibrator, get the We-Vibe Tango, Lelo Siri 2 or (again) Magic Wand. If you think you can forgive the Shibari Mini Halo for its major defect, then go for it, because it’s otherwise a top-notch toy – but as for me, I am far too lazy and uncoordinated to press a button exactly eight times after each and every instance of turning my vibrator on.

 

Thanks to Peepshow Toys for sending me this vibe to review!