silicone vibrator

Review: LoveLife Dream

Kate Sloan

Happy Valentine’s Day, cuties!

I feel bad for disliking the LoveLife Dream. It could have been so good. It has the bare structural bones of a vibrator that could do something other than suck. And yet it kind of sucks.

LoveLife is a new-ish line of toys made by OhMiBod, formerly best known for its vibrators that sync up to the music on your iPod (dear god why). It was definitely a good step for OhMiBod to move toward producing “normal” sex toys, i.e. ones without silly gimmicks. But if the rest of the toys in the line are similar to the Dream, I think the collection has missed the mark and OhMiBod should go back to the drawing board.

First of all, every toy in this line is obnoxiously pink. I realize that pink is a top-selling color in the sex toy industry, that it’s “romantic” and “girly,” etc., but none of that can make me like the overwhelming pinkness of this collection. It feels overly gendered and a little juvenile. And despite the fact that I’m visually quite attached to heart shapes and what they represent, the hearts sprinked throughout the LoveLife line feel cloying and silly. These toys look appropriately saccharine on Valentine’s Day, maybe, but that’s it.

I was prepared to set aside my distaste for the Dream’s aesthetics if it felt good, but it couldn’t even meet me halfway on that one. It is sooooo buzzy, you guys. And buzzy just doesn’t do it for me. The vibrations stay right at the surface of my body and don’t rock my internal clitoral network. Inserted vaginally, this vibe feels almost pathetically weak to me, even turned up to the sixth and highest speed. Buzzy vibes don’t stimulate me the way I like, and they cause fast numbness for me, so I just can’t use ‘em.

There were literally times when I got bored midway through using this vibe and gave up. I didn’t just give up on using this particular toy; I gave up on the entire masturbation session. More than once. Because buzzy vibrations make me feel like all vibrations must be boring and awful like they are. (However, if I forced myself to use an über-rumbly vibe immediately afterward, I remembered why vibrations rock and all was well again.)

I will say that the Dream’s control panel is easy to use, which can’t be said for all sex toys. You press a squiggly button to turn it on and off, and plus and minus buttons to change the speed. The toy is rechargeable and comes with a USB cable so you can charge it that way, which is always convenient (for my life, anyway – you might feel differently if you share a computer with your grandmother or something). The toy’s gently sloping shape feels nice inside me, though not so nice that I’d want to use it as a dildo. It’s reasonably quiet. The silicone is soft and smooth but requires significant lubeage.

I just can’t get excited about a vibrator if its motor doesn’t thrill me, and this toy’s motor is a major letdown.

The major standout of the LoveLife line, according to some reviews I’ve read, is the Adventure, a three-pronged vibe that can stimulate the clit, vagina, and anus all at the same time. Each prong has its own motor, so it’s got to be stronger than my disappointing Dream. If you, for some ungodly reason, adore the cavity-inducing aesthetic of the LoveLife line and really want one, it seems like the Adventure is the way to go.

As for me, I’m going to file this one away under “vibrators so buzzy, they’re utterly incompatible with my genitals.”

Thanks to OhMiBod/LoveLife for the toy!

Review: Wake-Up Vibe

Kate Sloan

I am a notoriously deep sleeper. I have been known to deactivate alarm clocks in my sleep and then wake up hours later saying, “What the hell? Why didn’t my alarm clock wake me up?!” I have missed many a morning class because the quality of my sleep is akin to that of a hibernating bear.

So I was intrigued by the Wake-Up Vibe, though admittedly skeptical. If loud radio announcers or blaring calypso music couldn’t get me up-and-at-‘em, how could vibration do it?

The Wake-Up Vibe is made of ABS plastic covered in soft, smooth silicone. It has a little display which shows the time and allows you to set the alarm. There are five buttons: left, right, up, down, and middle. It’s not immediately obvious how to go about setting the clock, setting the alarm, and turning the vibe on, but the accompanying instruction booklet explains all this stuff very clearly, so read it and you’ll be good.

It comes with a black storage bag which leaves little black smudges on the toy’s surface (you can sort of see this in the photo above). I don’t know why it does this; it shouldn’t, if it’s real silicone, so maybe it isn’t. It also comes with a cute pink sleep-mask and several international adaptors for its charger.

The vibe is shaped in a gentle curve that matches the shape of my mons, coming to a halt in a little ball that is meant to rest on the clit. (You can also position the vibe so that the tip is against your vaginal opening, if that’s more your style.) It stays in place very well all night long if I’m wearing underwear, but it’s totally impossible to wear this vibe without panties or some other close-fitting lower-body garment. I sort of wish there was another way, since I prefer to sleep naked or at least bottomless, but any other way would probably involve all-night vaginal penetration, which wouldn’t be ideal either.

You can set the vibe to start at a low speed and work its way up, thereby waking you up gently and slowly. You can also increase the minimum speed so it’ll start stronger, waking you up with more of a jolt (which I need). It has several patterns – pulses, waves, etc. – so you can pick the one that works best for you. While I’m normally not a fan of vibration patterns, I do find them more effective than straight vibration for shocking me out of a deep sleep. Nothin’ like sudden quick pulses right on your clit to rouse you from slumber.

And rouse me, it does. Sometimes I have some kind of sexual mini-dream just before waking as a result of the vibrations, something weird like Jim Parsons tapping a pen against my clit or my best friend inexplicably going down on me. But then I’m awakened.

The Wake-Up Vibe doesn’t turn me on. I don’t wake up with a ladyboner, even when I’ve had one of those illicit dreamlets. I just feel shocked out of sleep, adrenaline-flooded, just like when your alarm clock suddenly starts blaring pop music at precisely 7:00 AM.

You can also use the Wake-Up Vibe as a regular vibrator, though I don’t see why you would want to. It’s an awkward shape to hold onto with your hand, and the vibrations are buzzy and passable but not especially satisfying. I have tried in vain to get off with this thing and it has not happened – but, to be fair, that isn’t necessarily its goal. If this toy did turn me on in the morning, which it doesn’t, I’d just shut it off and reach for another vibe to finish the job.

I don’t think the Wake-Up Vibe is ideal for someone who needs to get up at a specific time; there’s too much risk that you’ll stay asleep, or that you won’t wake up until the vibrations ramp up to their maximum strength. This is really a better choice for those days when you can sleep in and want to be awakened sweetly, slowly, gently. And if you’re expecting to have an orgasm just as you open your eyes to greet the day, well, look elsewhere, ’cause this vibe can’t finish what it starts.

Merci, PinkCherry!

Review: Jimmyjane Form 4

Kate Sloan

I can’t even count the number of times that a toy ostensibly designed for penetration has ended up making friends with my clit. It’s not that I hate internal vibrations; I like ‘em when they’re rumbly. The problem is that most penetrative vibes seem to have been designed with no knowledge of how the vagina works at all.

The Jimmyjane Form 4 was sent to me by the lovely ladies at Sensual Intelligence, an eco-friendly, women-run, health-conscious retailer. (Y’all know I don’t normally make a hullaballoo about particular retailers, but a company with such great ethics is worth making an exception for, am I right?) While I do enjoy the Form 4 overall, it’s laughable that it’s been marketed as a penetrative vibe.

First off, it has no upward curve for accessing my G-spot, nor does it have the big, defined head that so many successful G-spot toys have. I can turn it around and use the larger end to penetrate myself, and indeed that feels better, but then the toy’s controls are inside my vagina – so it’s not really a workable solution.

The Form 4 is also too short to reach my anterior fornix unless I shove it all the way inside of me – which, once again, presents the problem of “How do I operate a toy whose controls are buried in my vag?”

As a clit vibe, the Form 4 does much better. Its motor is smartly located right in the tip of the toy where it ought to be, so my hand doesn’t get vibrated into numbness while I’m holding the vibe and my clit gets the brunt of the sensation. Its five speeds and three patterns are nicely varied. The vibrations are fairly buzzy, so I start to go numb if I use it for too long, but this can be remedied by using some of my usual techniques for dealing with overly buzzy vibes.

As for the vibration strength, it’s remarkable for a rechargeable, as per usual for Jimmyjane Form vibes. It’s in more-or-less the same range as the Lelo Siri and We-Vibe Tango, though it’s buzzier than both of them.

Like all the toys in the Form collection, the Form 4 charges by sitting upright in a dock. All the Form toys use the same dock, which is handy. This charging system feels futuristic and easy; I’m a fan.

The toy’s noise level is low-to-medium – it can be heard throughout the room it’s in, but not through a closed door. Annoyingly, it has a seam that wraps around its entire perimeter. The toy is waterproof, though being surrounded by bathwater dampens its vibrations somewhat.

Can you tell from this unimpassioned review that I feel pretty ambivalent about the Form 4? It works, it gets me off, it’s fine, but it doesn’t excite me. I don’t crave it; it’s not a go-to. When I want internal vibrations, I choose something rumbly instead, and when I want a clitoral orgasm, I grab something hella strong or wonderfully shaped or unusually stimulating. At $150 (depending on which retailer you get it from), the Form 4 seems overpriced for what it is: a dependable but ultimately boring clit vibe.

Review: Lelo Gigi 2

Kate Sloan

Lelo really cares about making excellent products. Some companies churn out crappy toy after crappy toy, seeking only to pad their bottom line and not to make anyone really happy in the pants – but others, like Lelo, give a shit. They want to contribute something meaningful to the sex toy industry.

That’s why Lelo has been gradually producing updated versions of their best-selling toys for a while now. Usually their updates make only two big changes – more power, and waterproof – but those two changes make all the difference, and can take a toy from “okay” to “excellent.”

The Gigi 2 is a great example of this. I tried the original Gigi and didn’t like it much; my review complained, “Gigi feels weak and buzzy… If you’re looking for power, this toy will disappoint you.”

If you need a primer on the difference between buzzy and rumbly when it comes to vibrators, I welcome you to read Epiphora’s thoughts on it. To sum up: buzzy vibes feel surface-level and can lead to fast numbness, while rumbly vibes shake the entire internal clitoris and therefore lead to stronger, deeper orgasms for many folks – myself included.

This is important info to understand when you’re talking about the Gigi and its update, because the difference between the two – at least as far as my clit can tell – is more about vibration quality than vibration strength. Pressed against my hand or held up to my ear, I can barely tell the difference between them – but one gives me orgasms, and the other doesn’t.

Gigi 2 is the same as its predecessor in terms of shape and size. Gigi is one of Lelo’s all-time best-selling toys so it makes sense that they wouldn’t want to mess with a functional formula. My new Gigi has a white ring around the button panel that was grey on the old one, and it doesn’t have a little piece of silicone covering the charging port like the old one did, because Gigi 2 is waterproof. Other than that, they look identical (though I did choose a different color for my Gigi 2, to avoid confusion!).

It continues to make me feel weird that there is no silicone covering over the charging port. I know the toy is waterproof – I have even taken my Gigi 2 into the bath and had orgasms there without issue – but it is still strange to see water traveling into a hole on my expensive sex toy. Doesn’t mess with my overall enjoyment of the toy, really; just weirds me out. I might prefer a little slit that you pierce with the charger when the toy needs some juice, like what’s on Leaf toys.

The other issue with taking Gigi in the bath is that the smooth plastic handle gets very slippery when wet. Whether it’s water, bodily fluids, or lube, this can be a problem. You might want to keep a towel or washcloth handy. Or Lelo might want to think about making their handles grippier.

A problem I have with many Lelo toys, which seems (but maybe isn’t actually) more prominent on the Gigi 2, is the way you have to press the buttons to get them to work. Apparently in attempt to fix reviewers’ past complaints about pressing buttons by accident while maneuvering the toy, newer Lelo vibes’ buttons need a good, solid press before they’ll respond. When I push a button for a shorter length of time – say, half a second instead of the full second – the control panel still lights up momentarily like it usually does, but the setting doesn’t change. I have to press it again, properly. And while I’m sure there are people who appreciate this feature, I mostly just get annoyed by it. When I change my vibrator’s settings, I’m often on the brink of orgasm, needing just a little more power – and a failed button-press can mess that up for me.

Other than that issue, I really enjoy Gigi 2 as a clit vibe. The handle is comfortable to hold, my clit loves the flat, broad-but-not-too-broad head of the toy, and it has enough power to get me off.

Sometimes I get up to the highest setting and wish there was just one or two more beyond that – just a little more power. But the vibrations are fairly rumbly (at least, rumblier than older Lelo toys) so I will eventually have an orgasm if I keep at it. I won’t just go numb and have to stop.

As a G-spot toy, Gigi doesn’t do much for me and never has. It’s too short to reach my G-spot without me having to awkwardly grasp it by the very end of the handle. It’s also just not strong enough to please my G-spot, which feels very buried in my vaginal wall and so needs a lot of vibration. Something like the Fun Factory Patchy Paul, with its insanely strong and low-pitched motor. Gigi just feels like gentle buzzing inside my vagina, and it doesn’t even really find the right spot most of the time.

Someone wanting better G-spot stimulation in a Lelo toy should look at the Mona 2. I find Mona’s shape and size – especially its length – waaaay superior to the Gigi when trying to locate my G-spot.

That said, I do hope Lelo eventually comes out with a super-curved G-spot toy – something like the Jopen Comet II, but with that classic Lelo elegance. I think they could knock it out of the park.

I’m overall pretty pleased with my Gigi 2. It’s become one of my go-to clit vibes, even though that’s not what it’s designed for. It’s versatile, and small enough to slip into a purse or maybe a pocket. But if you want real G-spot stimulation, spend a little more and get the Mona; it’ll do a better job.

Thanks so much to the wonderful people at Lelo for sending me this toy to try out!

Review: Fun Factory LayaSpot

Kate Sloan

I was happy when I got offered a Fun Factory LayaSpot, because I’ve been wanting one ever since I saw one used in Sex is Fun’s “How to Use a Dildo” video. (Thanks, SiF, for teaching me how awesome it is to combine dildos with clit vibes when I was only 14!) I trusted that it would be a good toy if my favorite sex educators had used it.

Wrong. It’s actually just an average battery-powered vibe.

I’ve recently had the opportunity to try out a couple of Fun Factory’s older vibes, from back when they were still making battery-powered toys (as opposed to the amazing creations they churn out nowadays). I tried the LayaSpot and the old version of the Ocean, and both disappointed me. They are lacking in power and it makes my clit sad.

The LayaSpot’s first speed is so low, it’s laughable. It feels like there is an insect buzzing somewhere vaguely close to my skin.

The other speeds border on passable – they’re akin to the middling speeds on a rechargeable vibe, I guess – but they’re so buzzy that I go numb very quickly when I use ‘em. It also feels like the vibrations are somewhat buried in the toy, instead of being located at the surface where they should be.

There are a total of 8 speeds and 3 different modes of vibration. None of them have been enough to get me off, but my clit needs a fair amount of power. More sensitive anatomy might have an easier time with this toy.

To the LayaSpot’s credit, it is a very ergonomically and cleverly shaped toy. It feels good in the hand and curves nicely against the pubic mound, arcing right into the clit. I would have no objections whatsoever if Fun Factory was to update the LayaSpot and make it rechargeable, strong, and rumbly. I think it would easily be one of the best clit vibes available if they did that, especially for people who like their clit stimulation neither broad nor pinpointed but somewhere in between.

The non-porous and phthalate-free exterior of LayaSpot comes in about a zillion different colors. Mine is light pink and dark pink, but you can also get it in various other quirky combinations. Fun Factory’s color choices are always appreciable, as my lime green Patchy Paul and bright turquoise Ocean can attest.

Overall, while I really enjoy the LayaSpot’s shape, size, and appearance, its motor just doesn’t cut the mustard. The vibrations are too weak and surfacey to get me off, plus they’re fairly loud, despite FF’s marketing claims of a “strong, quiet” motor. I really wish they would overhaul this vibe as a rechargeable, because I would buy the shit out of that.