silicone vibrator

Review: Fun Factory Stronic Eins

Kate Sloan

The Stronic Eins is one of the most interesting and truly new sex toys that has been launched in a long time. And unlike most “revolutionary” toys, it’s actually as amazing as it claims to be.

For those of you who don’t know, this is no regular vibrator: instead of buzzing or rumbling, it thrusts. It moves back and forth in small but very noticeable motions. When you masturbate with it, it basically does the hard work for you. Brilliant, right?

I chose the hot pink one. It’s a great shade of pink, so hot it’s almost red. The toy feels sturdy and high-quality. Fun Factory’s silicone is always a drag (both literally and figuratively), but it’s nothing a little water-based lube can’t fix. The toy doesn’t come with a storage bag (which is frankly a bit shocking for a $200 product), so you may want to wrap it in a plastic baggie or something when you store it, to avoid the dreaded lint attack.

A strange thing I love about the Stronic is its buttons. It has three buttons – “Fun” (which turns it on and off) and a regular set of plus and minus buttons. They are dome-like, fun to press, and difficult to set off accidentally. This is always a good thing.

Like many other FF products, the Stronic charges via Click ‘n’ Charge. My toy came with a charger but apparently some don’t; it may depend on the retailer. Many places carry the charger separately for about $5, so it’s not a big deal to add one to your cart.

There is a nub toward the bottom of the toy’s shaft that is meant to stimulate the clitoris. While the shaft is inside me, there is no position or angle which could ever allow this nub to hit my clit in a million years. Fortunately, this isn’t the type of toy that gets my clit going anyway. (I use my Eroscillator for that.)

The tip of the Stronic barely curves up, and yet it’s astonishingly effective. It has to be positioned juuust right in order to hit my G-spot, but once I get it into place, it’s heavenly. (Hint: this is not a toy you should insert all the way into your vagina, like you might with a dildo, unless your G-spot happens to be super deep.)

The Stronic has a variety of different pulsation speeds and patterns: “samba,” “rattle,” “gallop,” and so on. Some are a steady back-and-forth, while some vary. I prefer my thrusting steady, so I use those modes almost exclusively. The higher settings get so fast that they start to feel almost like weak vibration instead of like thrusts, so I’m not really a fan of those – but the lower modes work beautifully.

I was very, very surprised by how well my vagina responds to the Stronic Eins. I get that pleasurable “need to pee” feeling almost immediately once the tip of the turned-on toy comes into contact with my G-spot. Combined with a great clit vibe, I can have intense blended orgasms in a short amount of time – every time. This toy homes in on my G-spot and just keeps on truckin’ until I’m done, which can’t always be said for a lover’s penis or even a dildo I’m thrusting with my own hand.

But that’s not to say that it’s better than those things. It’s just different. The Stronic doesn’t feel like a lover fucking your brains out, nor does it feel like getting slammed hard with a dildo. It’s a smaller, more delicate, more precise, more concentrated motion, sweeping right over my G-spot with each thrust.

The Stronic needs to be held in place or it’ll wiggle its way out of your vagina. You can’t hold it too tight, though, or the thrusting motion will be impeded. I like to lightly brace a couple of fingers against the toy’s handle to keep it from shimmying out of me; a pillow can also be used for this purpose.

It may look like a girthy toy, but keep in mind that you probably won’t be inserting it very deeply. It needs to go in just far enough for the tip to hit your G-spot, no further.

I’ll be honest: it’s hard to recommend a $200 sex toy. This is the most expensive toy I’ve ever reviewed and I’m trying very hard to imagine whether I would plonk down that kind of money if I hadn’t been sent the toy for free. Knowing what I know now, though, I think I would. There is absolutely nothing else like this toy on the market and it is worth the money if you like thrusting.

Buy the Stronic Eins if you want some low-effort lovin’ for your G-spot, and if you can contend with the $200 price tag, sticky silicone, and lack of a storage bag. It is worthy of your money.

Review: Lelo Bridal Pleasure Set

Kate Sloan

I am certainly not the prime candidate for owning a Lelo Bridal Pleasure Set, being unmarried and having no plans whatsoever on changing that in the foreseeable future. But some part of me still wanted one, because let’s face it – Lelo is one of the titans of the sex toy industry, and this set is gorgeous as hell.

Heads up: this won’t be a standard sex toy review. Normally I wouldn’t put too much stock into how a product looks and how the company has presented and packaged it, but seeing as the Bridal Pleasure Set is intended to be a wedding gift, that stuff matters. You’ve been warned!

This set contains three items for newlyweds to use together: a blindfold, a “teaser ring,” and the Noa couples’ vibrator. I’ll talk about each item one by one.

First, the blindfold. When I first unpacked my Bridal Pleasure Set, this was the product that impressed me most, because it’s beautiful: it boasts pure silk ties, a softly cushioned eye area, and suede with pearl detailing.

Unfortunately, when I actually tried it, I was not nearly as impressed. This is one of those products that makes me wonder if the company actually tested it on real live humans before releasing it. The silk ties are so slippery that they are almost impossible to tie in an appropriately tight bow – I had to enlist my boyfriend to help me, and even then, it was difficult. Once the blindfold is on, it’s apt to slip off during your sex session, again because of those damn silky ties.

It also doesn’t do a great job of blocking out light in the nose area (though I have a large-ish schnoz, so your mileage may vary). I will say, however, that it is a hell of a lot more comfortable than the Intima blindfold that came with my Adore Me set.

Next up: the teaser ring. I didn’t know what to make of this thing when I saw pictures of it online. “Is it supposed to go on the penis?” I wondered. I still wasn’t sure when I received the set, but then I consulted Lelo’s illustrated “lovers’ guide” (included in the box) and saw that it is meant to be worn on the finger.

The “ring” part of the teaser ring has wire inside it, so it can be bent to fit practically any finger, regardless of size. Once it’s on, the “teaser” part (a group of long suede strings, sort of like what you’d see on a flogger) can be used to stroke and tickle your partner’s body.

Combined with the blindfold, this is actually mildly pleasant. And to the teaser ring’s credit, it can double as a small flogger if your partner has enough wrist strength to use it that way (a friend of mine did just that, when we made the drunken decision to test out my various spanking implements on one another one night). However, I feel it might’ve been a better use of space to include a more conventional sensory-play toy – like maybe a feather tickler, or even something more extreme like a pair of handcuffs. I know they were hoping to evoke matrimonial imagery with this “ring,” but it’s just not that exciting.

The main event of the set is Noa, a couples’ vibe. The Noa is a slightly reimagined and updated version of the Tiani, which I previously tried and wasn’t that thrilled with. Here’s a rundown of the key differences: Noa’s vaginal arm is wider and flatter, making it more comfortable and less pokey for both partners; Noa is stronger and rumblier than the original Tiani (though apparently still a hair weaker than the Tiani 2); Noa comes with a USB charging cable instead of a standard plug-into-the-wall charger; and Noa doesn’t come with a SenseMotion remote (which also means that it’s cheaper).

If you happen to have a SenseMotion remote from another Lelo toy, you can connect it to the Noa wirelessly and it will work. If you don’t, though, you can still control the toy’s functions by just pressing the button on the toy itself.

I really, really like the Noa’s vibrations. As I mentioned, they feel stronger and deeper than those of my Tiani, and I also think they’re stronger (or at least less numbing) than those of the other couples’ vibes I’ve tried, the FixSation and We-Vibe 3. The Noa is the only vibe of its kind that has actually been able to get me off, as I gleefully tweeted right after it first happened. I didn’t have to use my hands at all; I just slipped the vaginal arm inside me and my boyfriend started fucking me in missionary position with his pelvis putting some rhythmic pressure on mine to help the clitoral arm do its job. I haven’t made use of any of Noa’s various pulsating and rollercoaster-ing patterns during sex, but it does have some good ones.

My boyfriend reports that he, too, prefers the Noa to the We-Vibe; Noa’s vibrations actually felt good for him, rather than distracting or annoying. He also likes that the bottom of Noa’s vaginal arm is slightly indented to make room for his penis; this vibe is definitely the most comfortable couples’ vibe we’ve tried, for both of us.

As you might expect, the presentation of the Bridal Pleasure Set is impeccable. It comes in a lovely ivory box with a magnetic closure. When you first open it up, all the “ugly” items (e.g. the charging wire and warranty card) are tucked away, so all you see is the beautiful white pleasure objects. Included is a soft silky storage bag which fits the Noa; you could probably stuff the other two items in there if you didn’t mind crumpling them a bit.

One thing that worries me a little about this set is that it doesn’t come with an instruction booklet. The “lovers’ guide” just consists of a few images of a couple using the toys in various ways, accompanied by poetic text about love and marriage. Maybe I’m not giving beginners enough credit, but I feel that if someone was receiving their first vibrator ever as a wedding present, they’d probably want some information on how it works. But if you’re gifting this set to a couple with some vibrator experience, it may not be an issue.

The main problem with this set is that it costs $200. That’s pretty standard fare for a wedding gift, but I don’t know if the included items are worth that much. The Noa is great, but the other two pieces are mostly ineffectual and not that interesting. Silk and suede aren’t cheap, I know, but if you’re going to pay this much for a set, I still feel it should function fantastically instead of just looking beautiful.

So here’s my verdict: if you’ve got 200 clams to burn on a wedding present for a couple who’s open-minded and appreciates fine sexual and sensual pleasures, a couple advanced enough that they can use a vibrator without an instruction booklet but not so advanced that they’re going to be frustrated by an only semi-functional blindfold and a fairly goofy “teasing ring,” then sure, the Bridal Pleasure Set could be an impressive choice. For couples who are new to sex toys, or couples who would be annoyed by the kink-curious items in this set, maybe just get them the Noa on its own.

Many thanks to Lelo for supplying me with this set and for always being so good to me!

Review: Lelo Large Smart Wand

Kate Sloan

For a long time, reviewers have been complaining that Lelo vibrators just aren’t strong enough. They’re beautiful, elegant, ergonomic, rechargeable, and high-quality, but many clits-o’-steel have been unimpressed with their strength.

Well, no more. Because the large Smart Wand is one of the strongest vibrators I’ve ever tried, and also one of the best.

For all you Hitachi enthusiasts, take a moment to imagine how your sex life would change if your beloved wand didn’t need to be plugged into the wall in order to work, and if you could actually take it in the bath with you. Mindblowing and life-changing, right? In that case, you probably need a large Smart Wand, pronto.

Before I start sounding too much like an infomercial, let’s get some gripes out of the way. Yes, the toy is 100% waterproof, but the charging port is just an open hole on the end of the toy’s handle. It can be really anxiety-producing to watch bathwater slowly flow into an open orifice on your $135 sex toy. The hole is just as waterproof as the rest of the toy, but I still think Lelo should have at least put a little peel-back silicone plug in that spot, to set bath-bound consumers’ minds at ease.

As for the color… I must admit, I did not order the white wand and it wouldn’t have been my first choice; the one I chose was black but I ended up with the white one nonetheless. The white tends to show every speck of dirt or dust that makes its way onto the toy. However, I do think it would make a lovely bridal/wedding gift, what with being ivory-colored and luxurious.

Most of the toy is covered in satiny-smooth silicone, while the inner edge of the gently curving handle is made of metallic gold plastic that makes it easier to grip the toy. The Lelo logo is embossed into the handle, but it’s high enough on the toy that it would be difficult to accidentally get any lube or natural juices into the grooves of the letters, which is an improvement on some previous Lelo designs.

The head of the massager has a bit of flex to it, like most other wand-style vibes, but it’s minimal. If you like a lot of firm pressure along with your vibrations, this toy can provide it.

Like most massager-style vibes, the part of the Smart Wand that will be touching your genitals is very big and broad. I thought I wouldn’t enjoy it because usually I like something a little more focused, but it didn’t bother me in the end.

Can I just say how much it annoys me that Lelo steadfastly markets this toy as a body massager? Granted, it does work great for body massage, but let’s be real here – Lelo makes sex toys, and has always been upfront about doing so, so why suddenly change the game and act like this vibrator is meant for solely G-rated usage? There is literally no mention of genitals, sex, or masturbation in the Smart Wand instruction manual. This annoys me on principle, but luckily, doesn’t change the awesomeness of the toy itself.

And let me tell you, it is awesome. This massager has very strong vibrations. Though the Smart Wand has multiple speeds like all Lelo vibes, I usually only use the third and fourth ones, because the toy is that strong.

The first three speeds are rumbly, causing the toy to visibly tremble back and forth, while the rest are buzzier – but all feel great. Like the Hitachi, this toy may need to be muffled with underwear or a towel for some users to enjoy it, but it’s worth it.

Much fuss was made about the Smart Wand’s “SenseTouch” mode, in which the vibrations will stay on a low level until they touch your skin, at which point they will ramp up suddenly to a much higher level. This is supposed to feel like the gradual pressure that a masseuse’s hands can provide. I didn’t think much of this mode and won’t be using it, but I can see how it could be useful for someone who plans to use the wand primarily for actual massage.

It’s worth noting that my Smart Wand is the large one; other reviewers have found that the medium version is not nearly as strong. So if power’s what you’re after, get the large.

My final issue with the Smart Wand, which might just be a glitch in my particular toy, is that the buttons are very sensitive. Sometimes I press the “plus” button once, to move up to the next speed, and it skips a few speeds randomly, moving up to a much stronger one than I’m ready for. This can be remedied quickly by pressing the “minus” button until it goes back to a speed I’m comfortable with, but it might be worth considering if you’re very sensitive and would be horrified by sudden earthshattering vibrations on your clit.

But overall? Fuck, man, I love my Smart Wand. It’s absolutely gorgeous, it’s stronger than almost any other vibe in my collection, it can be used anywhere I want (including the bath), and it serves up some hella intense orgasms. Hallelujah, Lelo!

Thanks, Sex Toys Canada! You’re the best!

Review: JeJoue SaSi

Kate Sloan

Imagine how you would feel about a lover who was totally inept at getting you off, who always seemed to change their technique just as you were getting close to coming, and who approached your genitals with a grimace of apprehension, and you’ll understand how I feel about the JeJoue SaSi.

Several years old and probably discontinued by now (though still available through Sex Toys Canada), the SaSi seemed unbelievably innovative when it first launched. It’s an oral sex simulator consisting of a small ball moving around underneath a silicone covering in various patterns that are meant to be tongue-like. Most notably, you can actually “program” the SaSi using its “skip” and “don’t stop” buttons, so it’ll learn what kind of patterns you like and give you more of those.

In theory? Bravo, JeJoue, you brilliant geniuses! In practice? Ugh, fuck you, SaSi, I hate you.

Problem number one: the motions kind of suck (and not in the “oh, yeah, suck on my clit just like that” way, unfortunately). They’re random, erratic, and weird. My inner labia and the sides of my clit have never gotten so much lovin’ in their life – which is great for them, I guess, but those aren’t the most responsive parts of my pussy. There are only a few patterns that focus on the top-centre of my clit where most of my sensitivity is, and none of them are a steady back-and-forth or up-and-down motion. This makes no sense.

Problem number two: the ball is too damn slow. It has three speeds and even the highest one feels merely like teasing and not like actual competent tonguing.

Problem number three: the SaSi does have vibration in addition to its minuscule movements, and you’d think vibes would improve the sensation, but I actually can’t feel the ball moving when the vibrations are on. I suspect this is because the ball can barely be felt when the vibrations aren’t on.

To the SaSi’s credit, it’s an elegant-looking toy, it feels relatively ergonomic in my hand (like a computer mouse!), and its silicone covering is removable so you can wash and sterilize it without ruining the rest of the toy. These are all good things, but they’re not enough to make SaSi a good or even passable sex toy.

If you want an oral sex simulator that may actually be able to get you off, try the Sqweel 2 or the oscillating mode on the Jimmyjane Form 2. But please, for the love of all things sexy and orgasmic, do not buy the SaSi. It is 100% frustrating and cruel.

Thanks, Sex Toys Canada!

Review: California Exotics Silicone Jack Rabbit

Kate Sloan

When people ask me what I think about rabbit vibrators, I say, “It’s a brilliant idea, but it’s usually poorly executed.”

Many rabbits are made of disgusting materials – and the ones made of body-safe silicone basically fall into two categories: ridiculously expensive rechargeables, and cheaper, shittier vibes with power distribution issues.

I have pretty specific needs when it comes to rabbit vibes. First, the shaft needs to twirl, not vibrate, because my G-spot responds far better to motion and pressure than it does to vibration. Second, the clit stimulator needs to be strong enough and must have more than one speed. Thirdly, the shaft and clit stimulator need to be independently controllable, because sometimes my clit is momentarily hungrier than my G-spot or vice versa. And finally, the power distribution needs to work well – I can’t have a rabbit whose clit stimulator weakens considerably when you turn up the shaft speed.

To my great surprise, the California Exotics Silicone Jack Rabbit meets all of these criteria.

The Jack Rabbit is an updated version of the first rabbit I ever owned, which also happens to be the only jelly toy I purchased before I found out how awful jelly is. I loved that rabbit’s functionality, but after a few uses, it started to make my vagina burn, so I wistfully set it aside and haven’t used it since. Needless to say, I’m glad that CalEx decided to make a body-safe version, and that it rocks.

This rabbit’s spinning shaft is controlled with up and down buttons. It has three speeds: medium, fast, and very fast. Like most twirly rabbit shafts, it’s kind of loud and sounds like a kitchen appliance – and the sound level doesn’t seem to decrease even when the toy is buried in my vagina. Sorry, co-habitators.

The clit stimulator is basically the Goldilocks of bunny ears: not too floppy, not too firm. They stay put on my clit but don’t dig into it at all. The ears’ vibrations are controlled via one button; you can cycle through the three solid speeds, as well as a few patterns.

The shaft’s base also has those twirling beads embedded in it, which are apparently really popular. I’m not 100% convinced I can actually feel them, but it’s possible they’re contributing to my enjoyment anyway.

Real talk: this rabbit can get me off in two minutes flat. There are very, very few toys I can say that about. The combination of different types of stimulation is straight-up divine.

It’s apparently waterproof, but some other people who’ve reviewed it have noted that the silicone section started to separate from the plastic base, making it risky to take it in the bath. This hasn’t happened to mine, but I’m wary about putting it in water. If you really want a waterproof rabbit, it might be worth saving up for something by Jopen or Lelo.

The clit vibration is not the strongest in the world, and it’s pretty buzzy – but it gets me off, and I’d say I require a medium-to-high amount of stimulation depending on the day, so that’s something. The circling motion of the shaft causes the clit stimulator to gently and slightly move up and down on my clit on its own, which helps.

The Silicone Jack Rabbit costs $80, so if you want a luxe, high-quality rabbit, you could upgrade to the Lelo Ina for not that much more. But if, like me, you demand a spinning shaft and you don’t have the cash for a high-end Jopen rabbit, this one might be the way to go.