Spit

Review: Upko Invisible Mouth Gag

Kate Sloan

Many people enjoy the power imbalance and sense of vulnerability that can be created when one partner wears a gag during a kink scene, whether it be a ballgag, a bit gag, or some other type. But a common issue with gags is that – of course – your mouth isn’t really useable or fuckable while there’s a big piece of silicone shoved into it.

Various makers of BDSM gear have attempted to address this with inventive open-mouth gag designs, and some kinksters even repurpose Jennings gags, which help dentists keep patients’ mouths wide open during oral surgeries. But a brand called Upko took an approach to this problem that I’ve never seen before, by selling an “invisible” gag that simultaneously prevents you from talking and keeps your mouth agape and useable. Let’s talk about it.

Image via Upko

What is this gag and how does it work?

The Upko Invisible Mouth Gag comes in two main pieces, which attach at the back of the head via a strap.

Each piece features a rounded-off silicone wedge that you’re meant to bite down on, so that the gag mostly stays in place due to the pressure of your teeth. As a result, the middle of your mouth is left wide open.

 

You’re welcome for these extremely attractive photos 😇

A note on drool

In my experience, all gags promote drooling. I think this is due to the combination of having a foreign object in your mouth and no longer having the ability to swallow your spit as much or as easily.

A lot of people get nervous about wearing gags because they’re embarrassed at the thought of drooling profusely. However, if your partner is into the idea of you wearing a gag, odds are good that they’re also into the idea of you drooling. A lot of the kinky pleasure of using gags is about the vulnerability they create in the wearer, which can (optionally) tie into kinks like humiliation and objectification. For many doms, it’s super hot to see their sub drooling uncontrollably with a gag in. If you’re not sure how your partner feels about drooling during sex/kink, ask them – you might be surprised at what they say!

For similar reasons, you probably don’t need to worry about looking weird/ugly while wearing a gag. Like, yes, it’s not the most flattering look by conventional beauty standards, but plenty of kinksters aren’t that interested in conventional beauty standards anyway, as evidenced by how many doms adore the appearance of smeared lipstick, ruined mascara, ripped tights, etc. during scenes. You’ll enjoy yourself more while wearing a gag if you can accept that looking pretty is not the point – or that maybe looking vulnerable and subby is looking pretty, in the eyes of your dom.

 

Things I like about this gag

  • While we’re talking about drool: I drool a lot with this gag in. I think the open-mouth design makes it much easier for drool to spill out, which my partner finds hot.
  • The gag is relatively comfortable during use, which I wasn’t expecting. I find it less invasive and unsettling to bite down on a gag with my teeth than to have it shoved far back on my tongue, which tends to make me gag in the not-fun way. It doesn’t hurt my teeth, either, because the silicone you’re biting into is very squishy.
  • With this gag in, my mouth is indeed open wide enough that I can get face-fucked or give oral sex, especially if I bite down on the gag with my very back teeth. I wasn’t able to continue a blowjob “to completion” with the gag in, though, because it eventually got uncomfortable and made me feel like I was gonna puke (which, to be fair, would probably happen with any gag), so I just took it out to finish the job.
  • I really like the idea of this gag, having never really seen a design quite like it. Since the effectiveness and comfort of a gag really depend on your specific mouth and what it can handle, it’s good that there are plenty of different gag styles out there for different people to experiment with. If ballgags and bit gags have been untenably uncomfortable for you, it’s possible that this style of gag would work better.
  • The back strap is adjustable, with 8 different tightnesses to choose from, so this gag should fit a broad range of head sizes and tightness preferences.
  • I like that the part that goes in your mouth is made of silicone. Rubber gags, which are still sadly pretty common, are porous, meaning that they hold onto any bacteria that gets into their pores and can never be fully cleaned. Obviously, this really isn’t ideal for something that goes into your mouth, especially since the bacteria build-up can also lead to weird tastes and smells. All of that is avoided when the gag is made of silicone, as this one is, because silicone is non-porous and you can wash it and/or sanitize it in the same ways you’d clean any other silicone sex toy (just make sure to separate the silicone parts from the leather parts first).
  • The aesthetic is classic and cute. Red, black, and gold is a color combo that reminds me (regrettably) of Christian Grey, but I have to admit it looks good and would match a lot of people’s bedroom decor and plenty of other bondage equipment.
  • This gag is small and slim compared to a traditional ballgag, so it might be better for tossing into a suitcase or purse for on-the-go kink play (and might not be as immediately recognizable as a gag to nosy relatives or TSA agents).
  • My only other association with biting down on a squishy-but-firm object that keeps my mouth open is being at the dentist, so I can see how this gag would work excellently for dentistry-related roleplays. (Horny dentist taking advantage of their innocent patient, anyone?)
  • It’s really, really easy for the person wearing the gag to just spit it out or let it fall out if they want to. This can be a good thing if you’re a beginner and/or nervous about using a gag, because you can un-gag yourself quickly and without assistance if you need to.

 

Things I don’t like about this gag

  • As mentioned above, it’s very easy for the wearer to spit the gag out or let it fall out at any time, which you might not appreciate if you’re into gagging that feels forced or inescapable. The gag also fell out accidentally a few times while I was testing it, which was annoying, as we had to pause the scene to put it back in, and would’ve had to go rinse it off if it had fallen on the floor.
  • For some unfathomable reason, the parts of the gag that you actually bite down on can be separated from the long pieces of silicone attaching them to the straps. This strikes me as a choking hazard, since – if you bit down hard enough and tugged on the gag straps at just the right angle – the parts could separate and then you’d have a big piece of silicone just… loose in your mouth. For that reason, this gag doesn’t feel super safe to me and I would be hesitant to use it during any kind of rough play.
  • When I gave my partner oral sex while this gag was in, they reported that it didn’t feel as good as usual because I couldn’t apply as much suction and my teeth were more in the way than they might normally be. The visual of my drooly gagged mouth made up for these deficits for them, though – and also, their dick is pretty girthy, so I think small-to-average penises would have an easier time fitting into the mouth of someone wearing this gag.
  • The instructions that come with the gag are minimal and poorly written. Since its design is unusual, I think clearer instruction is warranted. There’s also no safety info in the instructions, other than a warning that you should agree on a safe-signal (a non-verbal safeword) before you start. That’s good advice, but given that gags are risky to use and this one is especially so, it’s worrisome that there are no other safety warnings/tips in the instructions.
  • While Upko assures me that the straps are made of real Italian leather – and actually produced importation documents to prove it – the leather doesn’t feel as buttery-soft and high-quality as some of my nicer leather kink gear (for example, anything made by Aslan Leather). But it’s still nice that it’s actual leather.
  • I don’t think this product should cost $79.99, which is its current retail price on the Upko website. For comparison, a couple of other silicone gags I enjoy – the Zalo red rose one and the Unbound Bit – go for $65 and $39, respectively, and are better-constructed than this one. Personally I wouldn’t pay more than $40 for a gag like this.

 

Final thoughts

While the Upko Invisible Mouth Gag is beautiful and is certainly different from any other gag in my collection, I think it’s way too expensive and kind of a safety hazard. I’d only recommend it if you love its design and/or think it would be comfier for you than traditional gag styles. Or if you want to do a dentistry roleplay, in which case, open wide and say “aaah!”

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

12 Days of Girly Juice 2017: 4 Fun Events

Kate Sloan

Ah, sexuality events! Those saucy gatherings in dimly-lit venues, where I can be my truest self and wear my babeliest outfits. Here were my top 4 favorites of 2017… (Previously: 2016, 2015.)

Spit nights at Oasis. Local indie porno babes Spit put on a bimonthly night o’ magic at Toronto sex club Oasis Aqualounge. I’ve spent more time at Oasis this year than any other year of my life – mostly making out with my fuckpal in the pool, because damn that’s a good pool, and damn that’s a cute boy – and Spit’s events are always my favorite nights to be there. The crowd skews younger, there’s always a live porn shoot to ooh and aah over, and there’s often also a smutty variety show featuring comedians, poets, and musicians. (This year I performed in both a porn shoot and a variety show, because I am a well-rounded individual!)

Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit. This was on last year’s list but I couldn’t omit it from this year’s; it was just too damn good, once again. I made lots more blogger friends, cackling with them in clandestine hotel crannies until the wee small hours. We did a live Dildorks recording in front of a crowd. I learned so many interesting things at the sessions. Mostly, I felt a sense of community and solidarity with other Professional Sex People that I rarely get to feel throughout the rest of the year. Here’s hoping I can make it to this great event in 2018 as well!

Vagic Tricks. I was so excited this year to premiere my new workshop on little-known erogenous zones of the vulva and vagina. I don’t know if in-person sex education is really my medium – I feel like I convey my thoughts better through writing, which also incidentally makes me much less nervous! – but it was a fun challenge nonetheless. I was surprised by how many people came out to hear what I had to say, and I’ve heard from a few of them who told me my lessons have already upgraded their sex lives. Yay!

The Pink Market is a queer/feminist craft market. Yes, it is as great as it sounds, if not better. The booths are jam-packed with embroideries, leather goods, artisanal impact toys, art prints, pinback buttons, engraved pencils, and so much more. It’s the perfect place to stock up on holiday gifts for all your favorite weirdos and queerdos. I hope this event keeps happening year after year, because I love it so damn much!

What were your favorite sex-related events of the year?

12 Days of Girly Juice 2016: 2 Fears Defeated

Kate Sloan

After I chickened out on going down on a girl during a threesome this year, my male fuckbuddy – the other participant in said threesome – commented, “I wish I could hack your brain and cut your anxiety out of it.”

I could’ve been offended. I could’ve interpreted this as him wanting to circumvent my resistance and artificially coerce me into doing something I didn’t want to do. But I know him well, so I knew what he meant. He wanted to rid me of my sexual anxieties, not only because it would be more fun for him, but because it would be more fun for me.

I can’t argue with that. There are, no doubt, a lot of fun activities I could enjoy if I didn’t psych myself out of doing them. But we can’t control the mental illnesses we’re saddled with, and we can only do what we can do. So I try not to beat myself up for the hurdles I’m not yet strong enough to jump – and I try, instead, to celebrate the hurdles I have leapt over with flying colors. Here are two such hurdles I cleared in 2016.

Doing porn. I don’t even like my partners to look at me during sex. I don’t know why I thought I could handle porn, where the eyes on me would total not only my partner’s but also the cameraperson’s, any other crew members’, and those of the eventual viewing audience. But it sounded fun, to some deeply buried and uncharacteristically brave part of me, so I gave it a shot. It helped that I have a lot of friends who are involved in porn – most notably Caitlin of Spit and Taylor of Feisty Fox Films – so I knew I’d be safe and supported.

I kicked off 2016 by shooting a scene for Spit with the devastatingly handsome Dane Joe, who bent me over a coffee table in Caitlin’s cozy downtown apartment and spanked an epic bruise onto me with a paddle while I stared at a bowl of oranges artistically placed in front of me. And then I got to eat a cupcake for having been such a good girl. (This scene was later screened at Smut in the 6ix in front of dozens of people, to my blushy glee.)

A few days later, I got naked in the Glad Day Bookshop for Taylor’s camera, posing with goofy props gathered from around the store. The manager pumped Justin Bieber tunes through the stereo at my request and I wore an unshakeable smile as I sidled around the shop in my skivvies, still bruised from my last shoot.

Photo via Spit.

In February I performed in one of Spit’s live porn shoots at Oasis Aqualounge: Dane Joe bossed me around and fucked me with various toys for the crowd’s amusement, until I had a surprise orgasm while she pounded me with my Eleven.

In May, I skipped over to Taylor’s house with a tote bag full of sex toys and masochistic implements. He and his photographer pal Caroline Fox trained their video cameras on me, and I didn’t feel nervous at all – instead, I came alive, perked up, put on a show. I smacked myself silly with my stone crop, then fucked myself with toys until my body burst into climax.

In June, I showed up at Riverdale Park in full rockabilly garb. Caroline, shooting for CherryStems this time, helped me sleuth out a relatively secluded area in the middle of the park, and I saucily stripped off my clothes while she snapped away. Then she handed me an ice cream cone and I fellated it with the juicy joy of someone who loves sugary treats as much as she loves blowjobs. (A lot.) Being photographed for CherryStems felt like the fulfilment of a very old wish: I’d longed to do pinup modeling since I was a wee lass poring over SuicideGirls.com before I was legally allowed to view such materials.

Mid-year, I complained on Twitter that I’d never shot blowjob porn and wanted to – and to my surprise, I got a DM from the owner of one of my favorite dicks, volunteering his gorgeous cock for me to suck on camera. I contacted my friends at Spit and managed to organize things so both Bex and I could shoot scenes for them while Bex was visiting Toronto that month. Bathed in soft light and the giggly glow of a happy little princess, I knelt on the floor between my fuckbuddy’s knees and Spit’s artistic director John Bee shot us in a stunning POV BJ scene. Weeks later, me and my co-star huddled together in my bedroom with boozy ciders and watched the scene on my little laptop. “Do I look pretty?” I asked him, and he replied, “You look very pretty. And sexy. And determined.”

Porn has never been a career ambition for me, never something I took very seriously – I’ve always done it for the fun and thrill of it, more than for money or glory (both of which there is little of, in Canada’s small porn scene). So I don’t know if I’ll do much more of it, now that I’ve basically achieved what I wanted to achieve by gettin’ sexy on camera. Maybe in 2017 I’ll shoot a solo scene for MakeLoveNotPorn.TV, or spank a pretty girl for Taylor’s camera, or co-blow a handsome person for Spit. Only time will tell…!

One-night stands. Sometimes it’s hard to differentiate fear from regular ol’ dislike. Prior to this year, I’d always theorized that one-night stands would not be my jam (peep this old post where I wrote, “I’m soooo not interested in sex where the partner and I know nothing about one another… Boring!”), but this year I finally delved into them a little bit. I had one in Minneapolis and a couple more back home in Toronto.

Those experiences were okay, but they also confirmed for me what I’d already suspected: that one-night stands are not my preferred type of sex, not at all. I didn’t have an orgasm during any of those three encounters, and it wasn’t a coincidence: sex with a brand-new partner who’s a near-stranger is rough on my anxiety, making it hard for me to relax into pleasure, plus my genitals’ preferences are so specific that someone really needs to bang me a few times before they’ll learn how to get me off. With one exception (a porn shoot at a sex club, using amazing toys), all the orgasms I had during partnered sex this year were with steady romantic partners or consistent fuckpals – people who knew my body, and who I felt comfortable bossing around til they learned what worked.

Another factor that makes one-night stands not-so-great for me: there’s often alcohol involved! It isn’t necessary for us to drink before boning, of course, but it just shook out that way a lot of the time: either we went on a Tinder-borne pre-bang drinks-date, or we met at a bar or party where there was some boozin’. Alcohol numbs sexual sensation, which – for me, during one-night stands – just compounded my already-extant orgasm troubles in those situations.

It’s interesting how sometimes conquering a fear introduces you to your new favorite thing (that’s what happened for me with improv!), but other times, it just shows you how much you dislike the thing you once feared. It’s still always better to know than to suspect, though, so I’m glad I did the legwork and learned one-night stands aren’t for me. Sexual empowerment is a process, and part of that process is learning what you like and what you dislike.

I think in 2017, I’ll avoid one-night stands. (To the best of my ability, anyway. Sometimes you can’t predict when a sexual encounter will be a one-off.) The only reasonable exception I can imagine is if I’m desperately craving a dick in my mouth – in which case, I won’t be especially concerned with getting off, so it won’t matter if the non-BJ parts of the experience are subpar. I’m hoping my sexual situation in 2017 will involve some more consistent, longer-term sexual partnerships – but if not, I think I’d rather just double down on masturbation than risk terrible sex with a stranger!

What fears did you conquer in 2016?

Monthly Faves: Paddles, Porn, & Pompadours

Kate Sloan

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Not to be bragadocious, but July was a month of good, consistent, frequent sex for me. I am a lucky lady. I also gave more BJs this month than I perhaps ever have in my life. When it rains, it pours… Wink wink!

Sex toys

• I’ve loved my Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble ever since I got it, but this month my love for it was particularly intense. I had two different partners use it on me – it’s one of my favorite toys to get fucked with! – and they did a wonderful job every time. I love the moment when a partner tilts the Double Trouble just so and they find my A-spot; it’s a triumph for both of us. When Bex and I stayed in an Airbnb for a couple days to throw a party and make porn in mid-July, the only two toys I brought were the DT and my Magic Wand; I had a bunch of sex that weekend and those were the only toys I needed.

• A total sweetheart bought me a wooden hairbrush from my wishlist. It surprised me by becoming one of my favorite spanking implements almost immediately: it’s my ideal blend between thuddy and stingy. And, as a bonus, when my hair gets all messed up from a spanking and the sex that ensues, I can smooth it into submission with the brush. I have a feeling this toy will hold a place of honor in my purse from now on.

• Two impact-play toys in one list? Sure, why not… I bought a paddle from KinkMachineWorks that’s made of Lexan, a transparent material similar to plexiglass or acrylic. It’s unusually thuddy for a paddle (yes, good, yes please). My friend Georgia gave me some killer bruises with it, one sad drunken night, after which I felt a great deal better.

Fantasy fodder

• Remember when I told you I wasn’t that into PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex anymore? Yeah, turns out that when I’m seeing someone who’s really good at fucking me the way I like, I get right back on dat PIV train. There were even times this month when a partner was fucking me with a toy and I imagined it was his dick, which… isn’t how that usually goes for me.

• I love a good erotic audio. This one was a favorite of mine this month. God bless people who have the gift of a beautiful voice and put it to use in the form of kinky smut. (This one is also wonderful if you, like me, like to use sex and kink as motivators for productivity.)

• Binge-watching House always gets my sexual wheels spinning… I’ve gone through phases of being carnally obsessed with Chase, Wilson, and Thirteen, but I think my sexual tastes are growing up because it’s House himself who I’ve been fantasizing about a lot recently. Bex wrote up some of their dom-House headcanons and I kinda melted onto the floor. House is waaaay too much of an unstable asshole to date, but I’d sure as hell let him hit me with that cane while I was bent over his desk…

Sexcetera

• A sexual highlight of this month was when I made blowjob porn with a partner and then gave him another blowjob off-camera as aftercare. It’s interesting how much the mental context within which you perform a sexual act can influence how that act makes you feel. Giving head on camera was hot, fun, and a novelty for me, but it left me feeling a bit empty and sad because it lacked the validation and intimacy I’m used to when I go down on someone. Giving him a “real” BJ less than an hour afterward was exactly the fix I needed, and maybe that’s strange, but hey, it worked for me. (And he sure as hell wasn’t complaining.)

• It was a particularly spanking-heavy month for me. Various people – sexual partners and platonic friends alike – consensually spanked me with a wide array of items: a silicone paddle, a Lexan paddle, a suede flogger, a stone crop, a book about spanking, a wooden hairbrush, a glass dildo, and of course, hands. The deeper I dive down the rabbit hole of impact play, the more convinced I am that it’s vital to both my sexuality and my personal psychology.

• I had two important sexual anniversaries this month: the 5th marked five years since the first blowjob I ever gave, and the 22nd marked eight years since the first time I ever had sex. I didn’t really celebrate these milestones, except by having a lot of sex (including blowjobs aplenty, natch).

Femme stuff

• I am currently obsessed with doing my hair in a pompadour with lots of bobby pins and a bandana. It’s an easy and relatively quick style that keeps my hair off my face in this sticky summer heat. It involves a lot of teasing and smoothing, which I do with the aforementioned wooden hairbrush!

• Bex and I went shopping specifically for clothes to do porn in. We were very efficient: after quick stops at American Apparel and Ardene, I’d amassed some pink striped knee-high socks, a low-cut black crop top, a translucent pink tank top, a pink headband, a pink bow barrette, a pink dog collar, and a black lace-up crop top that I should probably wear to cosplay as Sexy Wednesday Addams. I feel more balanced now that the slutty section of my wardrobe is more thoroughly fleshed out.

• I was super into the lip combo I used when getting mega-glam for porn: ColourPop lip pencil in “Heart On” + a hot pink Bite Beauty gloss. Pretty, sexy, and obnoxiously pink. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Little things

Dramatic late-night back-porch nudes. Taking American friends to their first Toronto weed dispensaries. A boy telling me he wants to date me by sending me this song. “How did the clothes end up all on the floor? Didn’t we just break each other’s hearts?” Sharing a sundae with a handsome pal while thoroughly stoned. Sharing fuckbuddy disaster stories. Sasha doing my makeup for a kinda-date-that-wasn’t-a-date. Getting fingerbanged so good and then being told that making me come that way is “like wrestling with a little monster” because my vag muscles clench so hard when I’m close. The outpouring of support I got when my Establishment article went up. A boy giving me one of his shirts to wear home when we couldn’t find my dress. Accidental I-love-you’s. Sophie Delancey interviewing me on Sex City Radio. Lavender oil. Drunkenly discussing sexual astrology on the subway. Taylor misreading Georgia‘s Twitter handle (LikeYourSilence) as “Like Your Silicone.” Monster Factory. “I want you to come all over daddy’s cock like you did earlier…” Beautiful porn cinematography. Hippo Campus. Bravery. When vanilla partners inadvertently dom me. Friends who understand and accept my introversion and other psychological quirks. Kate McKinnon. Therapy spankings.

6 Reasons to Get Your Ass to SMUT in the 6ix

Kate Sloan

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Did you know that Toronto is one of the up-and-coming porn hotspots of the world?

Well, sorta. We’re no L.A., but there’s some exciting stuff happening here in the realm of indie porn. And there’s an event coming up that’ll prove it.

SMUT in the 6ix is a “magnificent celebration of perviness” masterminded by Caitlin K. Roberts of Spit, Samantha Fraser of Playground Sexuality Events, and Sophie Delancey of Tell Me Something Good. It’s happening next Saturday, the 14th of May. Here’s six reasons you should buy your ticket now and join me there…

The panels.

SMUT’s daytime programming consists of four panel discussions on topics related to porn. These sessions will cover several aspects of #PornLyfe, from social stigma to diverse representations to camera skillz.

They’ve got a ton of great speakers lined up, including MakeLoveNotPorn.TV curator Sarah Beall, CinéSinclaire bosslady Kate Sinclaire, and indie porn darling Rebecca Deveaux, among others. And – drumroll, please – I’ll be moderating one of the panels! So you’ll get to see me being a Smartypants McCutieface. Bonus.

The performances.

SMUT’s nighttime gala will feature burlesque, spoken word, live music and dance. All the performers are local and you can be assured their acts will be appropriately smutty. Emceeing the evening is Dane Joe, who I can tell you from firsthand experience is charming as hell. (And also knows how to wield an Eleven like a fuckin’ champ. Unf.)

Plus… I’ll be performing, too! I’m gonna bust out some dirty ukulele songs. You don’t want to miss that, surely?!

The party.

The gala will have DJs, dancing, and general merrymaking. S’gonna be a hoot!

In particular, I’m interested to see what everyone will wear! The sartorial intersection of “fancy” and “smutty” is always an interesting one.

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The babes.

There are soooo many attractive people in our local porn scene. And I’m using the word “attractive” in a deeper sense than just the physical one (though they are visually babely, too). If you (like me) are attracted to smart, funny, easygoing, sex-positive, feminist cuties, you’re not going to find a better event to get your flirt on than SMUT in the 6ix.

The porn.

Of course, no porn-centric event would be complete without, y’know, porn. Rebecca Deveaux and my pal Taylor J. Mace are curating and co-presenting a selection of homegrown porn at the event. If you’ve never watched porn in a roomful of people before, you should – it’s a unique experience, and can be a lot of fun!

The bragging rights.

Spit‘s going to be a big deal in the porn world one day, and so is the city of Toronto! Get in on the ground floor of our burgeoning indie porn scene, so you can say you liked Toronto porn before it was famous.

 

Check out the SMUT in the 6ix website and then buy your ticket! At just $37 for the whole day, it’s one of the cheapest sexuality conference tickets I’ve come across. I hope to see you at SMUT; make sure you say hi if you spot me!