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Review: Chalovelo Lipsip pressure-wave stimulator

Kate Sloan

What is the Chalovelo Lipsip?

I am a femme, known for both wearing lipstick and writing about lipstick’s sexual applications – so it always catches my eye when sex toy companies make products that look like lipstick!

I’ve tried a few vibrators along these lines, the best of which is the Lovense Exomoon – but the Chalovelo Lipsip is different, because it’s a pressure-wave simulator, not a vibrator. That means it stimulates the clitoris with rhythmic air waves, creating a sensation that’s somewhere between tapping and mild suction. Let’s see if it performed as well as my favorite lipsticks do…

Things I like about the Chalovelo Lipsip:

  • Multiple attachments: The Lipsip comes with 3 different attachments: one for small-to-medium-sized clits (0.43″ diameter), one for medium-to-slightly-larger clits (0.55″ diameter), and one that is angled (0.51″ diameter). It’s great to have options for this type of toy, because clitoral size and shape are so variable. The better a pressure-wave toy fits your clit, the better it can form a seal, which allows these toys to stimulate you in the way they do. (I wouldn’t recommend this one for folks with large and/or testosterone-enhanced clits, though, unless you want a toy that mainly just focuses on the tip and not the shaft.)
  • 7 intensity settings: While the Lipsip’s website claims it has 9 intensity settings, it actually has 7 intensity settings followed by 3 patterns. However, even 7 is impressive for a toy at this price point ($50), and I appreciate the huge variance between the first setting’s low-and-slow tickle and the highest setting’s buzzier thumping. This toy could be a good option for people who have found other pressure-wave toys too intense, because this one starts out very mild and builds up from there.
  • Rumbly/thumpy: The quality/timbre of these pressure-waves is pleasantly low-pitched, so it stimulates my clit in a way that feels more full-bodied (and thus more enjoyable) than some other pressure-wave toys at this price point. It can feel really good, especially when I’m already turned on by the time I start using the Lipsip.
  • Low battery indicator: It’s rare for toys at this price point to have a way of notifying you when their battery is low, but it’s a crucial feature for avoiding ruined orgasms, IMO, so I appreciate that the Lipsip has one! (Its battery lasts about 1 hour on a charge, by the way, which is okay but not great.)
Size comparison with an actual lipstick (Cherry Lush by Tom Ford, my MVP)

Things I don’t like about the Chalovelo Lipsip:

  • Not strong enough: I repeatedly tried to get off with this toy, and it just wasn’t strong enough to get me there. It felt okay-to-good most of the time I was using it; it just didn’t have the chutzpah I needed, ultimately. This was made even more frustrating by this next drawback…
  • Patterns: Once you reach the Lipsip’s highest speed, clicking its one button again will switch to a rhythmic pattern. But there’s no way to know when you’ve reached the highest speed (and, as I just described, it isn’t even all that high), so it would be all too easy to ruin your orgasm by hitting the button at a crucial moment. Toy designers, I beg of you, make patterns accessible only via their own separate button, or don’t include them at all, please!
  • Lipstick-inspired design: Look, it’s a cute idea, and could theoretically make this product more discreet – if not for the fact that it’s about 50% bigger than an actual tube of lipstick, so only the most cosmetically inexperienced onlookers would ever mistake it for an actual makeup product. The “lipstick cap” could’ve been a useful innovation for keeping out dust/dirt when you travel with the toy, except that the cap pops off at the slightest provocation (unlike most real lipstick caps, which take their protective duties seriously!).
  • Not waterproof: The Lipsip is IPX6 water-resistant, so you can wash it in the sink or use it in the shower, but shouldn’t submerge it in water. I gotta ding this toy for not being waterproof because I love to use pressure-wave toys in the bath, and always wish I could!
  • Noisy: On its highest setting, the Lipsip would be audible (albeit faintly) through a closed door. Most of its settings would certainly be audible to someone who was in the same room as you.

Final thoughts

As a femme and a comedy fan, I enjoy the Chalovelo Lipsip‘s commitment to the bit – that “bit” being its resemblance to a tube of lipstick. That said, I’m not sure this is the ideal form factor for a pressure-wave toy – and if you’re gonna make a product with a removable cap on it, please ensure the cap will stay on when the toy is riding around in my pocket/purse!

Gotta say, though, I admire Chalovelo’s decision to include three different attachments with this toy, especially at a $50 price point (which is fairly low for a pressure-wave toy). It’s always lovely to see a sex toy company thoughtfully accounting for the broad range of bodies out there. To that end, I also love that the Lipsip starts low and slow, for those of us who like to increase stimulation gently and gradually throughout a session. Its pressure-waves also feel delightfully thumpy/low-pitched, in relation to some other comparable pressure-wave toys; my clit approves.

My clit is, however, less thrilled about this toy just not being strong enough to make me come. (Today I whipped out my Pulse Queen to finish the job, if you must know!) I also wish it had more than one button, to reduce the risk of ruined orgasms when you inadvertently switch from steady speeds into patterns. But if you’re shopping for a beginner-friendly pressure-wave toy on a budget, you could do worse than the sleek, chic Lipsip. Like a beautiful babe in a bold lip, or a sucker-punch right in the kisser, the Lipsip might just make you weak in the knees.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

How to Fuck Someone Like a Sex Doll (for Kinky Purposes)

Kate Sloan
I may not be a literal doll, but you can still keep me in the closet 😉

I adore the euphoric altered states that kink can produce, and one of my favorites in recent years is “doll-space,” the feeling I get when I pretend to be a sex doll. It’s a hot fantasy, being “used” by a partner who is (at least in-universe) wholly focused on their own pleasure. I also find it psychologically relaxing, since there’s no pressure for a doll to do anything or achieve anything, other than getting fucked!

If you’re intrigued by this type of play, here are a few quick tips for tops that I’ve gleaned from my experiences as a bottom…

Negotiate limits, safewords & safe-signals

Sex doll roleplay is essentially a form of consensual non-consent (CNC), in that you are ostensibly “doing whatever you want” to your partner. For many people, tops and bottoms alike, that freedom is what makes this fantasy hot – but to do that type of play safely, you need to pre-negotiate which sex/kink acts are allowed, and which are off-limits. You’ll also want to agree on a safeword that either person can say if they want the scene to end immediately. If you’ll be doing any play where someone may not be able to speak (e.g. using a ballgag, doing breathplay), then you should have a safe-signal as well, i.e. a non-verbal safeword, such as double-tapping on someone’s thigh or shaking your head “no.”

Loudly appreciate their body

Your doll is gorgeous, so act like it! Objectification kink can bring insecurities to the fore, especially since sex dolls and other such objects are often largely appreciated for their looks! Make sure to be vocally appreciative of your partner’s body during and after this type of play, so they know that even if they don’t look like a skinny sex doll or curvy supermodel, you still find ’em hot (and want to fuck ’em silly)!

Manhandle (or womanhandle or enbyhandle…) them

If your partner is cool with it – and if you are physically capable of it – it can really enhance sex doll roleplays to move your partner around the way you’d move a sex doll. Like maybe be a little rougher or brusquer than you’d normally be… or maybe shove them face-first into a pillow before fucking them (provided they can still breathe)… and maybe you growl while you do it… Uhh, yeah, this is definitely one of my kinks, huh 😂

Vocally enjoy your pleasure

A lot of people learn to silence their moans, so it can be tricky to re-learn to express yourself during sex, but I think it’s worth doing, especially for this type of play! More than likely, your partner finds your pleasure super hot, so the more effusive you can be about it during (and after) sex, the more you’ll both enjoy yourselves.

Leave time for aftercare

Aftercare is a must when doing psychologically intense play like this! Do whatever helps you both float back to earth together: you could cuddle, eat snacks, drink water, watch something funny on TV, talk about the scene you just did, listen to gentle music together, or anything else that feels right. Make sure your “sex doll” knows you see them as a whole person again, and not just a fuckable piece of rubber, hot as that idea may be to both of you!

Have you ever done this type of roleplay? Feel free to let me know in the comments!

 

This post contains sponsored links. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Chalovelo Thrum rabbit vibe

Kate Sloan

I’m doing a weird thing today and reviewing a vibrator I’ve already reviewed, at the request of the company who sells it. But you know what? Maybe I’ll feel differently about it this time around. Me and my vagina have aged nearly a whole year since that last review, after all!

What is the Chalovelo Thrum?

The Thrum is a rabbit vibrator, i.e. it provides vaginal and clitoral stimulation simultaneously. The external arm is fairly standard – it just vibrates – whereas the internal arm vibrates, massages the G-spot area with textured beads that swell in and out on the shaft, and mechanically strokes the A-spot with its gently upturned tip. It’s an ambitious multitasker, that’s for sure!

The Thrum currently retails for about $60. It’s a rechargeable vibe made of silicone and ABS plastic, and is IPX6 water-resistant, meaning you can wash it in the sink or use it in the shower, but shouldn’t submerge it in water.

Things I like about the Chalovelo Thrum:

  • Excellent A-spot stimulation: Man oh man does my A-spot ever like this toy. The tip of the Thrum’s shaft – which is shaped vaguely like the head of a cock, complete with mild coronal ridge – moves up and down in a stroking motion, like a partner’s fingers can. There are 3 steady speeds followed by patterns, some of which are rhythmically consistent and some of which are more frustratingly off-kilter.
  • Individually controllable arms: As ever, I appreciate that you can control the external arm and the internal arm separately from one another, and can even use one while the other is turned off. My G-spot and A-spot may want a different intensity of sensation from my clit at various points in the arousal process, so it’s good to be able to control these components individually.
  • Clit arm shape: The external arm of this toy kinda looks like a dolphin balancing a ball on its nose. At first glance, it may seem odd, but it’s surprisingly versatile – depending on how I position it, I can get broader stimulation with the thickest part of the shaft, or more pinpointed stimulation from the tip. My desires in this regard might change throughout a session, so it’s nice to have options.
  • Clit arm flexibility: I truly think the (much pricier) We-Vibe Nova 2 revolutionized the rabbit-vibe category, by making its clitoral arm very flexible, so that you don’t lose clitoral contact if you thrust the toy in and out during use. Lots of other sex toy companies have taken cues from We-Vibe in this area and are making rabbits with bendy clit arms now – and it works really well here, giving me leeway to thrust the toy if I want to, and even to position the clit arm higher on my clitoral hood or lower on the tip of my clit depending on my mood.
  • Price: $60 isn’t bad for a body-safe, rechargeable rabbit vibe.

Things I don’t like about the Chalovelo Thrum:

  • Buzzy clit vibes: The external arm is a make-or-break aspect of a rabbit vibe, because most vulva-owners get off primarily (or exclusively) from clit stimulation. As such, I wish this toy’s clitoral vibrations were rumblier and stronger. As-is, their intensity is middling, and their buzzy timbre prevents me from being able to reach orgasm with this toy because my clit gets a little desensitized and disengaged after a few minutes.
  • Only 3 steady speeds: Both the internal and the external arm of the Thrum have 3 steady speeds followed by 7 patterns. I’m not a big patterns person and would prefer more basic speeds to choose from. There’s not much variation between the speeds, either, and the amount of patterns feels like an attempt to compensate for the lackluster motor.
  • Short battery life: Up to 50 minutes of use after a 2.5-hour charging time… ain’t great.
  • Loud: The mechanical whirr of this toy would definitely be audible by someone in the same room as you, and might even be audible through a closed door in some cases.
  • Linty: Whatever silicone formulation its makers picked for this toy, it’s wildly prone to picking up lint, dust, hairs, etc., so you may want to give the toy a quick rinse before each use.
  • Both modes are on by default: This wouldn’t bug everybody, but it bugged me – as soon as you turn on the toy, both arms turn on (as opposed to having a ‘standby’ mode from which you can choose which functions to turn on), and the sensation can be pretty jarring, especially if the toy is already inside you at that point. At one point this made me shout “Whoa! Jesus Christ!” so loud that my wife heard me through a wall.

Final thoughts

I wish Chalovelo made a version of the Thrum that was just the A-spot-stroking portion, because I loved that part of the toy! I kept thinking about how hard I would be able to come if I could just pair that stroking with a clitoral vibe that is actually rumbly, strong, and has more than 3 steady speeds, because unfortunately, the Thrum‘s clit arm just doesn’t do the trick for me.

I still think it’s a nifty rabbit vibe, though, with functions I’ve rarely seen elsewhere. The way the textured beads on the shaft massage my vaginal walls is cool, and the clit arm’s offbeat shape makes it versatile. I just wish they’d blessed this toy with a better, rumblier motor, and ideally a longer battery life. But for $60, the Thrum is a decent rabbit at a decent price – and it’s hard to hate a vibrator that looks like a dolphin doing a trick.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions on my own.

7 Things I’ve Done That Unexpectedly Improved My Body Image

Kate Sloan

Feeling good about your body is a lifelong journey. Healing from systemic fatphobia, ableism, etc. is like healing from anything else: it’s not linear, and you might have backslides sometimes – but it’s exhilarating to notice an overall upward trend in how you feel about your body, even if it takes years, or decades.

Aside from more obvious things like reading the work of body-positive thinkers, getting rid of my scale, and swearing off commenting on anyone else’s body, there are 7 things I’ve done for my body image that helped more than I ever imagined they would… Here they are, incase they inspire anybody else to foster more body-positivity in themselves!

Got a bunch of tattoos

I have 7 tattoos, and each of them have pretty drastically changed my view of my body for the better. I’ve always admired the aesthetic of tattoos, so getting them has made me look more like the types of people I find hot – and it’s also hard not to love my body now that it’s got beautiful, bespoke works of art all over it! (Some people would disagree, but those people are wrong, and also, who cares what they think?!)

When I was younger, I used to dread the moment clothing would come off during sex with a new person, because I worried they’d judge my body harshly. But ever since getting my tattoos – especially the pink “good girl” bows on the backs of my thighs – I sometimes even look forward to that moment, because people are often delighted to discover the tattoos hidden under my clothes!

Dated people who fetishize the body parts I’m insecure about

They say you gotta love yourself before you can love anybody else, and maybe that’s true – but I know that I largely learned to love my ass by dating butt enthusiasts! I’ve never had huge boobs or any other particularly remarkable bodily features (at least in my view), but apparently my ass is notable enough that more than one devout butt appreciator wanted to date me. So that’s pretty cool. Helps a lot when they bury their face in it like a starving person at a pie-eating contest, too…!

Appreciated the things my body can do

Positive re-frame alert! I might not look like a runway model, but I can still strut down the street in a cool outfit. I may not have a big booty, but I can still dance to Sir Mix-A-Lot. I’m no hyper-athletic porn star or BBW sex doll, but I can still get fucked like a champ. Every human body is a miracle, whether or not it’s considered conventionally hot.

Took improv classes/performed in improv shows

On the note of appreciating what my body can do: it can make up scenes and songs on the spot, apparently, which is pretty fuckin’ impressive no matter what I happen to look like! (The brain is technically part of the body, after all… and without a body, none of my brain’s ideas could be expressed on stage or anywhere else!) It’s also nice to spend time in a community where someone’s dress size doesn’t matter anywhere near as much as their ability to crack jokes and roll with the punches.

Further: when I’m on stage, I barely think about my body. I don’t think about my aches and pains or my butt cellulite; there just isn’t enough spare time or mental energy for that shit. Improv’s fuckin’ meditative, dude. Big recommend!

Got a great body lotion

Simple yet effective: Get yourself a luscious moisturizer with a scent that makes your heart happy (or unscented if you prefer, dear chemically sensitive babes), and apply it liberally when you’re fresh out of the shower. This helps lock in moisture better, and also makes your regular workaday shower feel like a self-care ritual. I’ve been digging the “Vanilla Cashmere” lotion by EOS, which makes me smell like a slutty cupcake (ideal, obviously).

Invested in cuter loungewear

It’s hard to feel stoked about your body when you’re wearing a decade-old faded band T-shirt and baggy threadbare pajama pants. (I mean, for me it certainly would be. I don’t know your life!) Since I’m chronically ill, I spend a lot of my waking hours in PJs or loungewear, so I keep a perpetual eye out for pieces that are both comfy and cute, and wearing them makes a big difference in my day-to-day self-esteem.

Did psychedelics

Now, to be fair, some people find these more anxiety-provoking than soul-healing… but for me, during the half-dozen shrooms trips I’ve done, I’ve basically forgotten my body existed for the duration of the day. And I mean that in the most positive sense. Sometimes I would put on a kids’ movie from my youth, like A Bug’s Life or The Aristocats, and take extensive notes on the life lessons that seemed to leap out at me. I would get so absorbed in this task, and the ensuing self-reflection, that I totally forgot to worry about my body’s imperfections – all I could think about was the beautiful vastness of the universe, and my tiny-but-important role in it. Drugs rule, man.

 

Dear readers, have any of these strategies helped you love your body more? What else has worked well for you? Feel free to let me know in the comments!

 

This post contains sponsored links. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Are You Being Sexualized, or Just Flirted With?

Kate Sloan
Photo by mb

“Does this person actually like me, or do they just want to fuck me?”

This is a question I’ve pondered countless times in my life. It has been the source of much misery and angst. It has been dissected at length in many a journal entry. But I’m beginning to think that the question itself is based on a false premise – that sexual and romantic attraction are mutually exclusive.

It’s weird how often our culture – especially its more heterosexual side – depicts these feelings as a binary, where one cannot truly exist in the presence of the other. Growing up, much of the messaging I received about boys and sex (from media as well as from people in my own life) insinuated that if a guy pursued you for sex, he didn’t respect you as a person – and that if you “granted” him the sex he was seeking, he would respect you even less, and would never deign to date you. Conventional wisdom insisted that if I ever wanted a man to commit to me, I should deny him sex for as long as possible (thereby denying myself sex too, by the way!) – and that if a man was willing to endure a sexless interlude of indeterminate length, it meant he really liked me.

But I feel nauseous just writing that out! What an awful, depressing worldview! I don’t want human relationships to work that way – and I don’t think they actually do, in most cases. Sure, there are shallow cads (of all genders) who see sex as a prize to be pursued, rather than a pleasure to be shared – and there are also people who can and do separate sex from love (or even from liking), as in certain friendships-with-benefits and other casual arrangements. But for the most part, humans don’t experience lust in a vacuum – I think most of us would say our sexual attractions are informed by the non-physical traits we feel drawn to, whether those include intelligence, humor, charm, worldliness, dominance, submissiveness, or anything else.

I can definitely understand why we sometimes forget this, though, especially since being objectified for your body and sexuality can feel gross as hell. In my early twenties, I found it deeply off-putting when someone tried to leap into sexting when we’d barely just started messaging – not only because I felt this indicated poor social skills on their part, but also because it made me feel like a cardboard cutout of a woman, onto which one could project one’s fantasies (and jizz). They might as well have typed “porno babes in bikinis” or “lesbian sexy AI” into a Google search instead of sending me missives about their genitals. Of course their desire for me felt objectifying – they didn’t know me well enough to see me as anything other than an object.

But we have to be aware of when our past traumas are incorrectly coloring our view of our current situation. Although I’m in my thirties now, I still sometimes lapse into black-and-white thinking when someone expresses sexual desire for me early on. Alarm bells go off in my head: They just think you’re hot! They don’t care about your brain, your heart, your art! Once they fuck you, they’ll disappear forever, leaving you feeling worthless and alone!

When this happens, I try to take a deep breath and assess what I actually know. Usually, I come to the realization that the other person’s desire – much like my own – is fuelled and shaped by the specificities of who it’s aimed at. I long for the sweet golden-retriever softboy in a different way than I long for the sardonic dive-bar punk. My crush on the ballsy dominatrix with great eyebrows feels qualitatively different from my crush on the funny flannel-clad barista with fuzzy forearms. Every attraction is its own unique thing, beautiful and bright, and the sexual slant of a desire doesn’t preclude it from also having a romantic element. In fact, my solely-sexual crushes tend to blow away in the wind; it’s only the more emotionally substantive ones that stick around in my spank bank. Sex is so much more compelling when it’s not just skin-deep – and I don’t just mean that as a penetration joke!

So, the next time you find yourself reflexively wondering if someone really likes you or just likes the sex they could have with you, ask yourself: Do they seem curious about you, interested in you, eager to get to know you? Do their compliments (if they give any) reach beyond the realm of the physical? Do they value traits in you that you also value in yourself? Or does their desire seem to stem from who they think you are, who they see you as, or who they want you to be?

These things can be difficult to discern sometimes, but I think they’re worth reflecting on… if just because sex with someone who sees into your soul is one of the hottest experiences imaginable. 🥵

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.