squirting

How to Squirt

Kate Sloan

While I’ve written about squirting here on occasion, it occurred to me recently that I’ve never written an instructional piece on how I actually do it. And as someone who benefited from reading such instructional pieces before I learned to squirt, I thought it only fair that I pay it forward, like some kind of ejaculatory philanthropist.

 

FAQ

Q. What is squirting?

A. Squirting is sometimes also known as “female ejaculation,” but I don’t tend to use that term anymore because it’s trans-exclusionary. What we’re really talking about here is people with vaginas expelling a sexual fluid from their urethra (as opposed to from the vagina itself, where regular vaginal lubrication comes from), and not all people with vaginas are women so “squirting” is the more inclusive term. However, as with any other sexual language, it all really comes down to what feels hot and affirming to you and your partner(s), so if you want to call it something else, feel free.

Q. Is squirting really just peeing?

A. While I’ve no doubt that sometimes you might think you’re squirting and find that you’ve actually peed (and this has definitely happened to me), some science has shown – and I believe, based both on firsthand experience and on extensive research – that actual squirt is a chemically distinct substance from urine.

One of its defining features is that it contains – among other components – prostate-specific antigen (PSA), an ingredient also found in semen. A much-talked-about study which claimed to “prove” that squirt is urine actually did no such thing; you can read my explanation of why in this blog post (pay particular attention to reasons #6 and #1). Further, even if squirting was pee, in my view it would still be a sexual fluid since it’s emitted during sexual activity, and there’s nothing about pee that makes it any grosser than squirt or semen (especially since both of those fluids contain traces of pee due to where they’re emitted from).

Q. Does squirting feel good?

A. For me, it’s a pleasant release, but nowhere close to the intense pleasure of an orgasm. (On that note: squirting and orgasm don’t necessarily occur simultaneously, and experiencing one during a session does not guarantee you’ll experience the other in the same session.) To the extent that my partners and I enjoy it when I squirt, it’s usually more about the showiness of it and the sense of cathartic release than it is about the heights of pleasure.

Q. Is it still squirting if the liquid sort of gushes or leaks out, instead of spraying a great distance?

A. Yes. Assuming we’re talking about actual squirt (as opposed to just a lot of vaginal lubrication), the force at which it is expulsed will vary from person to person and from session to session, so there might not always be a big theatrical geyser like you’d see in porn. This is fine and doesn’t make you a less accomplished or less sexy squirter.

Q. When/how did you first learn to squirt?

A. I squirted for the first time in the summer of 2015, after trying to learn how for several years. Some resources which helped me were Deborah Sundahl’s book on the subject and my friend Epiphora’s blog posts about squirting, especially this one about her first time squirting. I was using the Njoy Eleven the first time I squirted; there will be more info about technique and toys below.

Q. Can anyone with a vulva squirt?

A. I don’t know for sure; I don’t think anyone really knows, as of yet (not least because vulvovaginal pleasure is a surprisingly understudied topic in science compared to, say, erectile dysfunction or sperm production – gee, wonder why). But if squirting is anything like the other various sexual responses the human body is capable of, then no, probably only some people can do it.

I would imagine that some of the factors involved in determining whether you can squirt are the distance between your vagina and your urethra, the sexual sensitivity of your G-spot, and the fitness and tightness of your pelvic muscles, but who the hell knows.

Q. Is this article a set of universal instructions that can help anyone learn to squirt?

A. Nope, it sure isn’t. This article describes the techniques that work for me when I want to squirt. I hope that they help you learn to squirt if that’s something you want to do, but they might not, and that’s okay too.

 

Preparation

Lay Down a Towel: One of the biggest hindrances to squirting for the first time is that the lead-up can make you feel like you’re going to piss the bed, and since most of us are literally trained from birth to avoid doing that, our muscles predictably tense up when we feel that feeling, preventing the squirt from flying free. For this reason, plus for general peace of mind and to reduce your laundry costs, I’d recommend laying down a thick towel (possibly folded over a few times, if it’s big enough) underneath yourself before you try to squirt. If you want to get really fancy, you can use a waterproof blanket instead, like the Liberator Throw.

Empty Your Bladder: Naturally, you’ll be less scared of pissing yourself if you know you emptied your bladder before you got started. (Side note: it’s also a good idea to pee after a squirting session, if you’re able to, as this can ward off UTIs. But some scientists think squirting’s evolutionary purpose is to ward off UTIs, so, who knows?)

Chill Out: Because squirting (in my experience) requires you to relax both your muscles and your mind, it’s worth doing some de-stressing before you attempt it. Take a hot bath, perhaps. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb. Play some relaxing music. Dim the lights. Draw the curtains. You get the picture.

Go Solo: When attempting anything new sexually, I often recommend doing it alone (if it’s a thing that can be done alone) before trying it with a partner. This is especially true when there is a risk of embarrassment or mess, and while there’s nothing intrinsically embarrassing about squirting, many people are horrified at the possibility of accidentally peeing on a partner. Unless you think your partner’s physical strength and/or emotional support would be vital in your squirting quest, I’d suggest keeping this a solo activity until you’re confident you know the mechanics of it and are ready to invite a partner into that experience.

 

Technique

Take Your Time Getting Turned On: In my experience, I will only squirt if I’m already very turned on and have been for at least 15-20 minutes or so. If I want a masturbation session to end in squirting, I’ll spend a long time warming myself up by watching porn or reading erotica, doing a lot of clitoral stimulation, etc. Likewise, if a partner wants to make me squirt, generally they’ll need to take their time with me. With rare exceptions, squirting is not a quickie-friendly activity for me.

Use Lube: The fast, hard thrusting often required for squirting is much easier to achieve if everything is well-lubed. Sutil Rich is my favorite lube and works with any toy material.

Warm Up the G-Spot: The G-spot, located 2-3 inches inside the vagina on the vaginal wall closest to your belly button, is usually considered the driving force behind squirting. But a lot of people report uncomfortable or painful sensations if they jump to intense G-spot stimulation before properly warming up the area. Start with gentle stimulation – I’d recommend using a finger or two to gently massage the G-spot while you use a vibrator or your other hand on your clit – and gradually increase the pressure and intensity as you get more turned on. If you start to feel discomfort, dial it back and re-focus on things that definitely feel good (usually clitoral stimulation) until your G-spot feels ready for more. Like other genital erectile tissue, the G-spot tends to swell up with arousal, which can be a useful clue that you’re on the right track.

Stimulate Your Clit: I’ve mentioned this several times already and will continue to mention it. Why? Because the clit is the centre of sexual response for most people with vaginas. It’s the anatomical equivalent of the penis, and just as it would be unreasonable to expect the average cis man to reach peak arousal levels with zero dick contact, it’s unreasonable to expect a vulva-possessing person to get highly aroused without clit contact. (It’s not unheard of, certainly – it just shouldn’t be your default expectation, unless you already know that clit stimulation doesn’t do much for you.) I usually stimulate my clit for several minutes before even attempting penetration, either with my hand or with a vibrator, and then continue stimulating it all the way through to orgasm. I’ll recommend some clitoral vibes in the toys section below. (Side note: while most people squirt most readily from G-spot stimulation, as described below, there are some people who report squirting from clit stimulation alone.)

Firm, Fast, Sustained G-Spot Stimulation: This is the key ingredient in squirting for most of the people I’ve talked to about it. Once you’re already super aroused, use upturned fingers or a firm G-spot toy (recommendations in the toys section below) to thrust against your G-spot, applying steady pressure. You might find that you want to thrust faster and harder as time goes on. If you notice a feeling of “escalation” or “building toward” something, lean into that feeling, even though it might be scary or overwhelming at first. Ditto with a feeling of “needing to pee” – remember that you already emptied your bladder and laid down a towel (right?), so you can follow that feeling and see where it leads you instead of worrying about it.

Bear Down: Although you might be used to clenching your pelvic muscles en route to orgasm, it’s often easiest to squirt if you bear down with your muscles, like you’re trying to push out whatever’s inside you. This has the effect of pressing your G-spot more firmly against the toy/fingers/dick you’re using and helping the squirt come out. If it feels unintuitive to do this, just keep practicing and it’ll eventually get easier, especially as you learn to associate that pushing-out feeling with pleasure.

Consider Trying Post-Orgasm: I actually most often squirt after orgasm, when my clit is satiated but my G-spot usually still feels hungry for more. At that point I’ll thrust a dildo (or have a partner do so) super fast and hard against my G-spot until I feel the release of squirting, then take a little break to catch my breath and do it again, repeating as needed until I feel that I’ve “emptied out” my G-spot/urethral sponge. I think the deep relaxation that sets in post-orgasm can be helpful for squirting, and so can the heightened levels of physical arousal/engorgement.

Remember, the Goal is Pleasure: Squirting is cool, but it’s not a big deal if you can’t do it, or haven’t learned yet. Beating yourself up about not being able to squirt (or, worse: a partner criticizing you for not being able to squirt) is pointless, because the point of all of this is to feel good and have fun. If trying to make yourself squirt is lessening your fun and/or pleasure, let go of that imperative if you can, and re-focus on feeling good. You might squirt, or you might not, but either way, it’ll be time well-spent if you were focused on enjoying yourself. And, as with falling in love, you might just squirt for the first time when you’ve released all expectations of doing so.

 

Toys

G-Spot Dildos:

  • The Njoy Pure Wand is widely considered one of the best squirt-inducing toys on the market. It has an intense curve that helps it locate your G-spot easily, is made of ultra-firm stainless steel, and has two differently-sized ends so you can experiment to figure out whether your G-spot prefers broader pressure or more pinpointed sensations. Its shape also makes it relatively easy to use on oneself or to have a partner use on you. Just keep in mind that you may have to test out different motions to find your favorite: if standard in-and-out thrusting feels weird, try rocking it in a C-shape, pressing the ball rhythmically against your G-spot, or massaging the ball in a circular motion against that spot. (Note: do not try to buy a Pure Wand from Amazon, as there’s no guarantee you’ll get an authentic one; most Amazon toys claiming to be the Pure Wand are low-quality counterfeit copies. And certainly do not get the Le Wand knockoff of the Pure Wand, as it’s a plagiarized design that is, incomprehensibly, more expensive than the real thing.)
  • The NobEssence Seduction is another toy that can reliably make me squirt. It’s quite firm and deeply curved like the Pure Wand, but is a lot lighter because it’s made of wood, so I find it easier to thrust with. Since it’s handmade in small batches and is therefore often sold out, I’ll note that the Dee Lee Doo Habu is similar, and cheaper.
  • The Pipedream Icicles No. 70 has a very similar shape to the NobEssence Seduction, above, but is made of glass and is much less pricey.
  • The Lelo Ella has a broad, flat head that might feel better for you if slimmer implements (like fingers or small dildos) have felt too pokey or triggered too much of that “need-to-pee” sensation for you. It’s also gentler than the other toys on this list because it’s made of silicone (albeit pretty firm silicone) and its neck has a bit of flexibility to it.
  • If your budget is very limited, try this $26 glass dildo – it has an excellent G-spot curve and is easy to thrust, plus you can use the other end if you’re ever in the mood for less G-spot-focused stimulation. Another great option is the Sinclair Institute Crystal G, which has an even deeper curve and costs just $30.
  • If you’re a size queen/king/monarch, you’d probably dig the legendary Njoy Eleven, the first toy that ever made me squirt. Like the Pure Wand, it’s made of super-firm stainless steel, but it gets its squirt-inducing powers moreso from its massive girth than from a curve (though it does have a slight curve to it). Of course, since this dildo is huge and made of metal, it’s pretty heavy and can be hard to thrust, especially if you have hand strength issues like me – but my partner loves to pound me with it, and can reliably make me squirt that way.
  • Speaking of hand strength issues, if you lack the ability to thrust a dildo fast/hard/for a sustained amount of time, I’d recommend investing in a Fun Factory Stronic G. This thing is an auto-thrusting device that trembles against the G-spot rhythmically, and it can usually make me squirt even if I’m having such a bad chronic pain flare-up that I can’t physically hold a dildo.
  • The Lelo Mona 2 is technically a G-spot vibrator, not a dildo, but its shape is so fantastic for G-spot stimulation that it can make me squirt with or without the vibrations turned on. Some people find that vibrations on their G-spot make squirting easier to achieve; I think this is the best tool for the job if that’s the case for you.

Clitoral Toys:

  • If you already have a clit toy you love, there’s no need to buy a different one for the sake of learning to squirt. It’s all about what reliably turns you on and feels good for you. So pair your favorite clit vibe with one of the G-spot toys listed above, or another G-spot toy you enjoy, and give it a shot.
  • That being said, my all-time fave clitoral toy is the Eroscillator Top Deluxe. It oscillates instead of vibrating, so it doesn’t cause me as much numbness/desensitization as many other clit toys do, and its oscillations also seem to get deeper into my internal clitoris, which I think helps with squirting.
  • The We-Vibe Tango X has powerful, rumbly vibrations, and is small enough to be unobtrusive when paired with a G-spot dildo, so I think it’s a fantastic addition to any squirting sesh.
  • For a budget pick, I like the BMS Factory Essential Bullet. It’s a simple bullet vibe with an impressive motor for its $25 price tag.
  • Some people prefer the more subtle sensations of pressure-wave stimulation over vibration, especially when trying to focus moreso on G-spot pleasure. In this category, I love the We-Vibe Melt, Womanizer Premium 2, Lora DiCarlo Baci and Lelo Sila.

 

Fellow squirters, what toys, tips and techniques helped you most in learning to squirt?

8 Reasons the “Squirt is Pee” Study is Bad

Kate Sloan

Recently I was chatting with some friends about the 2015 study that “proved” squirting is the same thing as peeing, and I got incensed afresh about it. You can read the study yourself online if you’re curious, though I’m about to make the case for why you probably shouldn’t.

To be perfectly clear: I am not a scientist, nor am I a doctor. I have, however, been a sex journalist for nearly a decade, so I’m pretty accustomed to reading studies and extracting key findings from them. I first became interested in this study when I wrote a piece about it for Maisonneuve years ago, and I interviewed many experts and key players in the field as part of that project. With all of that said, here are 8 reasons this study is, in my view, not to be trusted…

 

1. It only had seven (7) participants. SEVEN. Many experts agree that studies smaller than about 100 people are unlikely to be statistically significant or predictive of a general population. I asked the lead researcher, Samuel Salama, why he only studied seven women, and he said, “I wish [I had] more, but it is difficult to recruit women who accept to participate to the protocol [sic].” He also claimed that his study was nonetheless the largest one that had been done on the topic, which is in fact false; previous studies done on the squirting-versus-pee debate have included sample sizes as large as 27, and there was even a previous biochemical analysis study on this subject that had 11 participants. (Still not enough, but better than seven, I guess.)

In an interview, I asked a sexual health research coordinator what they thought about this study only having seven participants, and they said this:

“I think, if you only study seven people, that’s just ridiculous. Like, what the fuck. That is not statistically significant in any universe. It doesn’t prove anything. … It’s bonkers! Bonkers! Seven people is like, nothing.”

 

2. The lead researcher seems to have had an axe to grind. I asked lead researcher Samuel Salama why he decided to study this topic, and he told me it was his 3rd-year sexology thesis and that he chose the subject of squirting “because you can read a lot of bullshit on the topic.” This suggests to me that he had already formed an opinion about whether squirting is pee before he even began the study, since he felt all the previous research on it was “bullshit.” Scientists are supposed to keep an open mind about the potential results of their studies; otherwise, the results are prone to being tainted, just like Salama thinks ejaculate is tainted by pee.

 

3. Participants were recruited under odd circumstances. The study’s seven participants were all referred by physicians, which suggests to me that the women themselves, their doctors, and the study creators all viewed squirting as a medical issue rather than a normal part of sexual functioning. This creates a biased dynamic that no doubt would permeate the whole study. Participants were also required to have a BMI that falls within the “healthy” range despite BMI having been long ago debunked as a useful measure of body weight and health.

In an interview, I asked a postdoctoral research fellow at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health if it could be problematic that all the participants were recruited via their physicians, and she said this:

“It definitely creates limitations on the generalizability of the results. For example, since the sample is limited to a certain set of women who saw these particular physicians and were then referred, we have to consider whether or not there are systematic differences between a) women who choose and/or are able to visit a physician and those who do not or cannot, b) the characteristics of women who visited the specific physicians included in the study versus women who selected different physicians, or c) women who were referred to the study and actually participated, versus women who were referred and chose not to participate, to name a few issues. Thus, the interpretation of the results should be considered within these limitations.”

 

4. It’s cissexist. I mean, it’s certainly not unique among sexological studies in this way, unfortunately, but this is still worth pointing out. So-called “female ejaculation” is a phenomenon that can happen to anyone who has a vagina, not just cis women.

 

5. It took place in a lab setting. This, again, is definitely not unique among sex studies, but I do think it’s worth noting because we just don’t have the same sexual responses in cold, clinical environments as we would have in our own cozy beds. IMO it’s absurd to think that someone getting sexually stimulated in a lab room, while being monitored and measured, would have exactly the same experience of and response to that stimulation as she has at home. As Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., details in her book Come As You Are, stress has a physiologically inhibiting effect on sexual arousal, and thus I don’t think a sex study can be purely effective and accurate in a lab setting. The participants of this study even noted that the amount they squirted during the study was less than they tend to squirt at home, suggesting the results were in fact different than they would be in everyday life.

 

6. The results were inconclusive, but not described as such in the study. This, to me, is the most pressing and obvious reason this study is problematic. The study measured levels of urea, creatinine, uric acid, and prostate-specific antigen (PSA) in each participant’s pee both before sex and after sex, and also measured those levels in each participant’s squirt. Those first three ingredients – urea, creatinine, and uric acid – are found in urine, while PSA is typically not.

If you look at the graphs that lay out the data on what was actually in each sample (click the image to see it larger), you’ll see that the distribution is actually pretty all-over-the-place. Some participants’ squirt (represented by the red bar in each chart) contained medium-to-high levels of the components of urine, while some contained barely any at all. Most participants’ squirt contained a high proportion of prostate-specific antigen compared to other ingredients, which – if anything – supports the idea that squirt is a separate fluid from urine, containing its own unique ingredients.

The writers of the study note early on, “Because normality of data distribution could not be ascertained, we preferred to use the median as the measure of central tendency and minimum–maximum values as the measure of variability.” This is just not a fair or effective way to do a study like this. Even I, as a relative layperson, can glance at these results and see that some of the women’s squirt is scientifically similar to their pee, and some of the women (especially participant #5, and to a lesser extent, #4 and #6) clearly squirt a liquid that is demonstrably different from their urine. You can’t just “average out” the results and decide that a handful of women squirting something chemically similar to pee means all women who ever squirt are squirting pee – especially when the results of your own study don’t even bear that out!

 

7. There’s traces of pee in penile ejaculate, too. It is well-established that semen contains uric acid and urea, probably due to the fact that both urine and semen come from the same hole and will naturally intermingle to some extent. I would argue (as did many of my scientist interviewees) that the same happens for people with vulvas, and that this explains the overlap in chemical makeup between some vulva-possessing people’s urine and ejaculate.

 

And finally… 8. This study will damage, and has damaged, the lives of people who squirt. The hypothesis that squirting = pee has already caused so much pain, stigma, and even trauma in the world. I interviewed Spanish sex educator Diana J. Torres about squirting and they told me stories of women they’ve known who have had their G-spots surgically removed as treatment for “coital incontinence” that was actually just squirting. “Usually science is not separated from politics,” they said, “and in a patriarchal system, it has been instrumentalized to support it.” I have to agree.

In the aftermath of this study being published, headlines circulated worldwide, announcing that squirt was actually just pee. My friend Epiphora launched a “#NotPee” campaign on social media to fight against the stigma and misinformation. Many people replied to say that they’d been shamed for squirting in the past. I hate to think what happens when that shaming escalates to ostracization or even violence.

“I don’t know why they keep revisiting it. I don’t know what the political import is to prove that it’s urine. It seems weird to me,” said philosophy professor (and proud squirter) Shannon Bell when I interviewed her about this. “If you compare it to studies on [penile] ejaculate, there’s almost an investment in women’s ejaculate not being as sexual a fluid… and I would say that’s got a political component to it.” Like Bell, I see this entire debate as being yet another manifestation of the male-dominated science field refusing to believe women and other people of marginalized genders about their own damn bodies.

I’m tired of it. I want better, bigger studies on the subject, that are constructed in more compassionate and sensical ways. But mostly, I just want people to stop caring so much whether squirt is pee and whether pee is gross. There is a lot about sex that could be considered gross, and most of us continue to have it anyway. If you’re actually disgusted by your partner’s pleasure, maybe you should let them go so they can find a partner who actually wants them to have a good time in bed without feeling ashamed of their body and the fluids it produces.

Review: Laid D2

Kate Sloan

I was on the phone with a friend when the Laid D2 dildo arrived on my doorstep. “Should I open it now?” I asked him.

“Yes!” my friend said, so I did. I gasped. I oohed and aahed. I held it up to the light and said, “It’s so smooth and heavy and shiny!!” I could not contain my delight, even knowing that the person on the other end of the phone line had not asked for a play-by-play. Luckily, he was just amused.

I’ve eyed this dildo from afar for years, but was never quite intrigued enough to request it from a sex toy retailer before. Although it is made of smooth black granite (SWOON), its shape is very similar to those of the We-Vibe Rave and Lelo Ella, so I kinda felt like… been there, fucked that. But I shouldn’t have written it off, because in use it’s actually pretty different from those toys.

The main difference, of course, is the material. I cannot overstate how sexy this toy feels in my hand. It’s hefty and weighty – not quite so much as steel, but certainly more than silicone – and it feels naturally cold to the touch, like metal. The smoothness also makes it feel altogether different from a silicone toy; it can glide against your G-spot rather than roughly rubbing past it (which silicone sometimes seems to do even when adequately lubricated), and it doesn’t require as much lube as some other toys do because of the frictionlessness of the surface.

It’s also just beautiful. It retails for less than a lot of other “luxury” dildos – on KissKiss.ch, it goes for 98.90 Swiss francs, which is about $106 American or $143 Canadian – but still definitely feels luxurious. In fact, I’m sort of gobsmacked you can get a hand-crafted dildo of this quality for that price. I think this would make a great gift for a sweetheart you’re trying to impress, provided they’ve expressed interest in owning a dildo for vaginal penetration (the D2 is not anal-safe). You can tell them it’s a toy made of 500-million-year-old granite, because apparently it is.

The D2 has two ends, both of which are insertable – but the flattened head on one side is really the star of the show. It’s optimized for G-spot stimulation. Just like the Lelo Ella, the D2 makes it easy to hone in on your spot and rock against it – but unlike the Ella, its neck has no give whatsoever, so you don’t even have to push that hard to elicit intense sensations. I like a flattened head better for my G-spot than a smaller or pointier tip; stimulation that’s too intense or direct on that spot can overwhelm me and may even be painful, especially when I’m not warmed up. The D2’s wide head (a little over 1.5″ in diameter at its widest) lets you spread out the pressure over a bigger area, so your whole G-spot gets massaged, rather than just one area getting poked. That said, the bigness of the head also means some people may have trouble getting it past their pubic bone comfortably, or inserting it at all.

The most astonishing thing to me about this toy is the extent to which it makes me squirt. The first time I used it, I was squirting so continuously that I almost didn’t notice it at first; it was a constant, low-level gushing, rather than a big, climactic ejaculation. It’s also remarkable that this toy makes me squirt so much without often creating that painful/uncomfortable “need to pee” feeling that more pinpointed G-spot toys often do. All I have to do is ride the gentle wave of pleasure, and before I know it, I’ll have soaked through my sheets. (Lay a towel down before using this toy!)

The D2 has an asymmetrical shape that’s supposed to enable you to gently rotate/rock it against your G-spot rather than thrusting in and out, but I don’t find this terribly effectual once I get past a certain level of arousal. Teasing my spot is fine for early in a session, but as I get more and more turned on, I tend to want more pressure and speed. The D2 can be thrust in and out, but it’s awkward: the handle gets slippery easily and is tricky to grip and angle right (especially for my sore hands). I end up changing my hand position several times throughout any given session with this toy, because its handle just isn’t very comfortable or useful.

However, that same handle can also be inserted. “Won’t that be pokey/stabby?” a friend asked when I mentioned this, because the straight side of the D2 does indeed taper pretty sharply at its very end. In use, though, it doesn’t bother me at all, and can actually reach my A-spot very effectively. The combination of the slim tip, hard material, and easy angleability (that’s a word, right?) of this end of the toy makes it feel like I’m really getting fucked when I use it this way. It feels almost as impactful as heftier A-spot-friendly toys like the Njoy Eleven. Blessedly, this side is easier to thrust with, because holding onto the flattened G-spot end gives you a lot of leverage and a secure grip.

This toy, I have to say, is pretty blissful. It’s a gentle G-spot jubilator, an awesome A-spot annihilator, and a gorgeous granite gift. If there’s someone in your life who likes firm stimulation of either or both of those spots, and deserves to have their vagina totally spoiled with pleasure and beauty, get them a Laid D2 – even if that person is you!

 

Thanks so much to KissKiss.ch for sending me this product to review – they’re a Switzerland-based sex shop with a killer section of luxury sex toys! This post was sponsored, which means I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the toy. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Reviews: Fun Factory Stronic Real + Stronic G

Kate Sloan
The Stronic Real (purple) and Stronic G (blue).

It’s very rare, as a sex toy reviewer, to be able to say that any product is truly unique. The sex toy industry has been around for long enough now that hardly any products bring anything genuinely new to the table – most of them are just improvements on (or attempts to improve) toys that already exist. While that’s a noble goal, sometimes I find myself thirsting for invention rather than just innovation.

Fun Factory really did reinvent the wheel a few years back when they launched their Stronic line of products. These toys actually thrust back and forth using technology I haven’t seen elsewhere. You can get Stronic-style movement in a whole bunch of different shapes now, which is great news because it means more people can enjoy this seemingly magical thrusting!

Recently I was lucky enough to be sent two new(ish) Stronic toys, and I’m gonna review them for you today. They’re both rechargeable, waterproof, made of silicone and plastic, and not anal-safe (due to the lack of a flared base), and both have a wide variety of speeds and patterns, but other than that, they’re pretty different, as you’ll see…

The Stronic Real (sent to me by the lovely folks at Betty’s Toy Box) is, as its name suggests, Fun Factory’s take on a “realistically” shaped toy. But this company isn’t exactly known for realism, so this toy moreso gestures at the idea of a penis than actually depicts one. I don’t mind that – dicks’ coronal ridge and thrusting action are two of my favorite qualities of theirs, and both of those are present here.

The thing you need to know right away about the Stronic Real is that it seems to be the best choice from the Stronic line for those of us who enjoy A-spot stimulation. It’s long enough to hit the spot in question, and has the exact shape that works best for me when I’m trying to reach my A-spot while satisfying the rest of my vagina too: a thick shaft and a tapered tip with a slight upward curve. If I ease the Stronic Real into my vag as far as it’ll go (using lots of lube, because Fun Factory silicone is draaaaggy), and brace the base of it with my hand or a pillow so it doesn’t slip out as it thrusts, it can stay pretty focused on my A-spot so I can pay attention to whatever I’m doing to my clit. (Probably using the Eroscillator on it, let’s be real.)

The Stronic G, by contrast, doesn’t usually even need to be braced against something – because it locks onto my G-spot and basically stays there. This phenomenon sets it apart from other toys in the Stronic line, to a significant enough extent that I could see turning to this one when the chronic pain in my hands is flaring up and I can’t (or don’t want to) hold a penetrative toy.

I’m not known for my squirting the way some other bloggers are, but boy howdy, this toy sure makes me squirt a lot. In my inaugural Stronic G session with my partner, I soaked through their bedsheets so thoroughly that we decided to belatedly put down a towel – which I then promptly soaked through, too. The thrusting feels a lot like a skilled partner fingerbanging you at the high rate of speed that many people find causes squirting. I find that it’s more of a constant trickle, unlike the bigger, more theatrical expulsions prompted by something heftier like the Pure Wand. If you’ve been curious about learning to squirt, the Stronic G might be a revelation for you – but on the flipside, if you find G-spot stimulation overwhelming or unpleasant, you will likely hate this toy. It is a G-spot-focused jackhammer and is, as Epiphora would say, not for the faint of vagina.

Neither the Real nor the G can hit my internal spots with the amount of force, accuracy, and frankly, slowness that I tend to prefer when partners use their fingers on those spots. It’s sort of like the difference between tickling and massage. I can definitely have orgasms with the faster, more surface-level stimulation provided by the Stronic toys – and I have, many times – but they have a different, more frenetic and less profound quality than orgasms I have when my spots are being stimulated more methodically and firmly. (This is why, as I get closer to orgasm, I sometimes ask my partner to switch from fucking me with the Stronic G to using something with more chutzpah, like the Eleven, to finish me off.) However, for toys that are more-or-less hands-free, they do an excellent job replicating the sensation of being fingerbanged. If you like getting fucked fast – or if you tend to thrust your dildos in and out on the quicker side of the spectrum – you’ll likely enjoy these.

Do I think you need both the Stronic Real and the Stronic G in your collection? Certainly not. The latter is best for hardcore G-spot stimulation enthusiasts, while the former is likelier to satisfy those who like A-spot stimulation and/or general vaginal fullness. But I am, admittedly, quite glad to own both. They’re both very damn good at their core competencies – and when you’re craving a Stronic, nothing else will do.

 

Thank you so much to Betty’s Toy Box and Fun Factory, respectively, for sending me these products to try!

Monthly Faves: Spanking, Sexpo & Sideboob

Kate Sloan

mosaicdeb22b36bd4c1ef355611d902413fd5b4e1804c4

September was very sweet to me! (More like Sextember, am I right?!) Here’s what I enjoyed this month…

 

Toys

• It’s rare that I put a toy on this list that isn’t genitally-focused, but I would be remiss not to mention the glory that is the Tantus Pelt. I snapped one up this month after quietly lusting over it since its release, and it is absolutely the perfect paddle for me. The size, weight, thickness, and stingy-to-thuddy ratio are all on-point. Oh Tantus, you pervy geniuses.

• For one profoundly pleasurable evening, I borrowed a Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble from Bex, who was, in turn, borrowing it from Caitlin. I’m not sure I like it enough to drop $180 USD (~$240 CAD) on one of my own, but good heavens, the A-spot stimulation from the DT’s thinner/longer end made $240 seem like a small price to pay. Hmmm…

• I bought a Liberator Throe this month in a dark, glamorous New York sex shop. From my very first session with it, I could tell it was going to revolutionize my squirting adventures. It is a game-changer when you know you can actually relax and you won’t end up having to sleep on sodden sheets (or, worse, needing to wait until you finish your laundry before going to sleep). I used all my favorite G-spot toys with it and it valiantly protected my bed from squirt damage.

 

Fantasy fodder

• I’ve spent most of my adult life banging exclusively submissive and vanilla folks, despite knowing in my kinky little heart that I lean submissive. But then recently, I boned a handsome gent who is, as it turns out, very dom indeed. Needless to say, he occupied many of my saucier thoughts this month.

• My fave Toronto-based pornographers, Spit, put out a new video and it’s my favorite thing they’ve ever done. Granted, I know Jack and Lydia in person, so I feel a little closer to the action… but daaaamn, the subtle D/s dynamic in this scene is hot as hell and the performers’ playfulness melts my heart. (Side note: I dream of performing in a Spit scene someday… if I can find the right partner…)

• I am having aaaaall the little-girl feels lately. I mentioned “daddy kink” in my April faves when it first surfaced into my consciousness, and back then I felt very weird about it and struggled not to kink-shame myself every time it came up. However, I can’t deny that certain people just set off feelings of lusty littleness in me – like toppy partners who call me “good girl” and hot professors who teach me about child development. Unf.

 

Sexcetera

• In mid-September I went to a sexual health expo in New York, along with blogger pals Bex, Penny, Lilly, Lena, Hedonish, and more. We had some mixed feelings about the sexpo itself, but some of the presenters really blew my little sex-nerd mind. We learned about internal clit stimulation from Allison Moon, D/s boundary-setting from Mollena Williams, and sexual rut-breaking from Ducky Doolittle. It’s delicious to come home from an educational event with so many new ideas bouncing around in your brain!

• I’m writing a feature story about the Hitachi Magic Wand. As such, I’ve been carting my wand with me everywhere and occasionally delivering it to people’s homes so I can watch them use it as research. (Legitimate research… not pervy research… although, sometimes that too.) Life seems so much sunnier when you’ve got a Magic Wand in your inventory!

• I read through a lot of old journals this month, while trying to find one specific entry I wanted to reference in my blowjobs post, and I was struck by how gross it feels to read explicit descriptions of sex you once had with people you are no longer dating/attracted to. I’m glad I kept such a detailed history of my sex life from the get-go, because it’s crucial information when I want to look back and see how far I’ve come, but gawd it’s hard to slog through without gagging.

 

Fashion & beauty

• I did a lot of shopping in September. Whoops. Highlights: this Wednesday Addams dress from Modcloth (I was gonna wait til Halloween to show it off, but c’mon), a blue printed dress from H&M, and the glorious American Apparel acquisition I’ve been calling my “sideboob dress” (magically, it looks good on everyone). And speaking of my aforementioned little-girl inclinations: I ordered this from ASOS, and I think I need to put it on and convince some authoritative daddy-esque man to take me to a carnival and win me a stuffed animal or something. #LittleGirlSwag

• I am now the proud owner of a ring made to look like my vulva. Please give Catstache Accessories all your money because they did an incredibly beautiful job and got this masterpiece to me in a very reasonable amount of time. If you have fantasized about owning custom jewelry that resembles your genitals (and who hasn’t?!), I am telling you: now’s the time and Catstache is the place.

• Fall is officially here, and as such, dark lipsticks are my current jam. MAC Viva Glam 3 is the brownish-burgundy of my autumnal dreams.

 

What toys, fantasies and miscellany did you dig this month, lovelies?