summer

5 Summery Fashion & Beauty Products I’m Loving Lately

Kate Sloan

Yay, summertime! Here are some hot-weather-appropriate fashion & beauty items I’ve been enjoying recently.

 

 

Image via Amazon

American Crew pomade

I bought this because I’ve been stylistically very influenced by the character Roman Roy of Succession lately (more on that in the recent Dildorks episode about my evolving gender presentation), and his hair is one of the most striking elements of his signature look – it’s usually slicked back or combed to the side and very shiny with product, in a cool 1950s-throwback sort of way. I have this great asymmetrical short haircut now that I can do a bunch of different things with (shout-out to my long-time hairdresser Paul Taylor of Avalon Hair Design!), so I thought it would be fun to experiment with pomade, since I’d never really tried it before – I’ve used, at most, some gel or hairspray for certain elaborate styles, but more often just stick with a curl cream.

There are basically infinite ways to use this pomade, but my favorite lately is to smooth some through my towel-dried hair after a shower and neatly comb it all back with a tail comb. Sometimes I’ll add a little height in the front by pinning it into a pompadour shape with a bobby pin while it dries. This feels like a very summery look to me because it keeps my hair off my face (ideal in the heat) and the shine makes my hair look slightly wet, as if I perpetually just stepped out of a swimming pool. I also love the gender-weirdness of incorporating elements traditionally associated with men’s hairstyling into my otherwise femme-leaning look.

 

 

Image via Amazon

Clinique Chubby Stick Intense in “Mightiest Maraschino”

This is an old-school favorite of mine – I think I first bought it around 2015 and wore it a lot when I was in journalism school (largely because I was so busy and stressed all the time and often wanted to wear low-maintenance makeup, if any), and then in 2021 I remembered this lipstick existed, bought a new tube, and hopped wholeheartedly back onto the Mightiest Maraschino train.

I love red lipsticks of basically any kind, but in the summer, I tend to gravitate more toward reds that are glossy, sheer, and/or very quick and easy to apply – as opposed to the heavier, fussier, matte reds I’ll carefully paint onto my lips in the fall and winter. This Clinique lipstick feels as light and moisturizing as a tinted lip balm, but it’s a nearly-opaque bright red that looks good with pretty much everything. It doesn’t have the greatest staying power, but applying it takes so little time and effort that I don’t mind reapplying after drinks or meals as needed.

 

 

Image via Amazon

Coola face sunscreen in cucumber scent

I know this won’t be to everyone’s taste because a lot of people are sensitive to fragranced products, but I recently bought this solely because the standard non-scented version was sold out, and I’ve been surprised by how much I’m enjoying it.

Coola’s face sunscreen is the best formula I’ve ever tried, and I’ve tried a bunch. Way too many sunscreens are heavy, oily, and/or shiny, necessitating that I pat a lot of setting powder on top if I want to feel presentable. But this one dries to a reasonable level of dewiness, doesn’t make me feel oily and gross, and is a good consistency to apply quickly on my way out the door.

The cucumber scent is calming and cooling – ideal for summer – but it also only lasts maybe a minute or two, after which I can’t smell it anymore. Probably a good thing.

 

Image via MeUndies

MeUndies eggplant-print modal shorts (use this link to get 20% off)

MeUndies had a sale a little while ago, and I basically live in modal loungewear when I’m at home, so I had to at least take a look. Imagine my delight when I saw that they are currently making their super-comfy modal shorts in a print emblazoned with the most notoriously phallic emoji.

I haven’t worn these out of the house, and probably won’t – they’re a bit of a statement, to say the least – but I’ve adored lounging around in them at home, writing in them, sleeping in them, etc. They’re as comfy as boxers, but they have POCKETS, so I can keep my phone with me while I walk around, or whatever. Plus, naturally, I love what the print represents (that being: dicks).

 

 

Image via 3Delightfulshop

3Delightfulshop rainbow earrings

I’ve bought stuff from this Etsy store before and was happy with it, so I decided to get some gay-ass earrings to rock at Pride events. I’ve ended up wearing them a lot – they’re huge, and loud, and they seem to encourage people to see me as the queer weirdo that I am, which is always great.

 

What fashion/beauty stuff are you loving lately?

5 Yummy Summer Cocktails

Kate Sloan

Summer is well and truly upon us, and my city is reopening after lockdown, meaning soon I’ll be able to return to my solo-date tradition of sitting on a cocktail bar patio with a good book and not a care in the world. Blissful!

To celebrate, here are the recipes for cocktails I love to sip in summer, incase you, too, are craving refreshing libations. (Be sure to also check out my previous post of cocktail recipes to learn about the Southside, possibly my all-time favorite summer drink.)

Margarita

As a white lady, I won’t claim to be any kind of margarita expert. Really, the thing to do is go to the best Mexican restaurant in your city/town and order their margarita – just the basic/traditional version, nothing fancy. (Try as I might, I can’t seem to make a margarita as delicious as the giant ones served at Toronto’s El Catrin.)

That said, this drink is so classically summery that I appreciate being able to make one at home if I feel like it. Here’s the specs I use…

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 oz tequila
  • 0.75 oz fresh-squeezed lime juice
  • 0.75 oz Cointreau
  • 0.25 oz agave syrup (or simple syrup if you don’t have it)

Run the juicy part of a lemon slice around the rim of a glass to get it sticky, and then gently roll the lemony rim against a pile of salt on a plate until you get your glass as salt-rimmed as you want it. Then, combine all above ingredients in a cocktail shaker, add ice, and shake until well-chilled. Strain into glass over ice (or sans ice if you prefer).

Black Walnut

This is one of the house drinks at Northwood, a local bar I like very much. I have no idea what their actual recipe is, but this version was devised by my partner Matt when I told them I missed being able to sip this drink. They did a bunch of research on it and messaged with one of our bartender friends to try to figure out an approximation of the Black Walnut as served at Northwood, and I think it tastes very close to the real thing!

Ingredients:

Add all ingredients to a cocktail shaker. Add ice and shake until well-chilled. Strain into glass over a big ice cube. Garnish with a cinnamon stick.

*To make cinnamon demerara syrup: Bring 2 cups of water to a boil on the stovetop, then reduce heat to medium-low and add 1 cup of demerara sugar + a few crumbled cinnamon sticks. Stir continuously until all the sugar is dissolved. For maximum cinnamon flavor, let steep for anywhere from 1 hour to overnight. Then, strain mixture into a bottle.

**To make walnut tea-infused rum: Add ~2 tablespoons of black walnut tea to a bottle of white rum (I like Bacardi’s). Shake vigorously. Let infuse for at least 2 hours, then strain and return to bottle.

Daiquiri #2

This is a fruitier, even more summery take on the classic daiquiri, which traditionally contains just lime juice, rum, and a little sugar. I like this orange-centric version because it reminds me of tropical vacations.

Ingredients:

  • 2 oz white rum
  • 0.75 oz fresh-squeezed lime juice
  • 0.5 oz simple syrup
  • 1 teaspoon fresh-squeezed orange juice
  • 1 teaspoon curaçao

Add all ingredients to cocktail shaker with ice and shake until well-chilled. Double-strain into a coupe glass. Garnish with an orange twist.

Jungle Bird

My spouse introduced me to this formidable drink. It feels like a super grown-up cocktail due to the way it balances sweetness with bitterness so well, especially compared to other fruity drinks.

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 oz dark rum
  • 1.5 oz pineapple juice
  • 0.75 oz Campari
  • 0.5 oz lime juice
  • 0.5 oz simple syrup

Add all ingredients to cocktail shaker with ice and shake until well-chilled. Strain into an old-fashioned glass over a big ice cube. Garnish with a pineapple frond and/or orange slice.

Jasmine

This drink, too, is a nice interplay between sweetness and bitterness. I first had it when my partner and I decided to watch the movie Blue Jasmine together and wanted a thematically appropriate cocktail to sip during the film. Cate Blanchett’s character in that movie, Jasmine, probably would have liked this drink – it’s bright, refined, and a little quirky.

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 oz gin (ideally a London dry gin like Tanqueray or Bombay Sapphire)
  • 0.75 oz fresh-squeezed lemon juice
  • 1 oz Cointreau
  • 0.5 oz Campari

Add all ingredients to cocktail shaker with ice and shake until well-chilled. Strain into a coupe glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.

What have you been sipping lately?

5 Summertime Faves

Kate Sloan

Summer is upon us! Accordingly, I’m feeling extra grateful for some of the items that get me through the hottest season every year. Here are a few of them…

Revlon balm stain in “Sweetheart”

This pink tinted balm is the ideal low-maintenance lip for a summer night out. You can apply it messily in seconds and it looks fine, after which it stays on pretty well through food and drink. I can’t be bothered constantly reapplying a lip product, especially in summer when sweat/ice cream/kissing make that even more frequently necessary, so I often like to wear one that’ll hold up through whatever the evening brings.

Vornado air circulator

My partner bought me this last year when my room was constantly overheated and I was too overwhelmed by the wide array of fans available online to actually choose and buy one. He read numerous reviews and ended up sending me this one, and it’s served me very well in the year since. It keeps my room cool and livable!

Frederic Malle’s Carnal Flower perfume

The ideal summertime scent. It smells like sunscreen and flowers. I feel a bit like I’ve been dipped in coconut white chocolate when I wear this. It’s feminine (whatever the hell that even means – gender, amirite?) and sexy and summery and perfect.

Neutrogena UltraSheer Dry-Touch sunscreen

Wearing sunscreen is annoying, particularly if you want to wear makeup on top of it, but this is one of the best ones I’ve found. It leaves me only minimally greasy and the smell is relatively inoffensive (for sunscreen, anyway). Don’t forget to properly sunblock any skin that’ll be exposed when you go out, but especially your face and any visible tattoos!

Kleen Kanteen

I’m so into these big-ass water bottles. Staying hydrated is important, especially in summer, but it’s easy to forget about it. Having a cute water bottle near your bed/next to your workspace/in your bag can be a big motivator.

What are your summertime must-haves?

6 Summer Beauty Tips From a Sweaty Sex Blogger

Kate Sloan
This photo was taken in 2010 but it’s still an accurate representation of how I wish to live my life.

Summer is officially upon us. Ah, the season of chub rub, sunscreen, and constant sweat. How I have missed thee.

As a femme, I am well aware that summer necessitates a different approach to skincare, makeup, and hairstyling than the rest of the year – at least, if you live somewhere with extreme seasons, like my hometown of Toronto. Here are some of my favorite beauty tips that only (or mostly) come into play in the summertime…

Get you a decent longwear lipstick. Hassle-free lipstick is lovely all year round, but I find it’s particularly called for in summer: I spend a lot of that season sweating, kissing, drinking cocktails on patios, giving head, and eating messy street meat, among other potentially lipstick-obliterating activities.

I’ll be writing about this in more detail in the future, but for now, here are my top recommendations. If you want bold color, try a budge-proof liquid lip like Maybelline Matte Ink or Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lipstick. If you want a subtler look, try a tinted lip balm, or “balm stain,” like this one by Revlon or this one by GlamGlow. You’ll probably want to throw the lipstick, a compact mirror, and some tissues into your bag incase you need to reapply, but with some lip products (I’m lookin’ at you, Maybelline Matte Ink!), I find I almost never have to.

Make your hair a nest of bobby pins. God, I love bobby pins. They are ideal for a wide variety of hair issues that come up in the summer, and at lots of other times, too. I use them to keep flyaway baby hairs in check, to anchor pigtails and buns to my head, and to pin errant sections of fringe out of the way in case of sudden oral sex (hey, it’s important!).

Here are a few of my favorite bobby-pin-centric summer hairstyles:

  • Using hair elastics, pull your hair into two high pigtails, but only pull the hair partially through the elastic, so you end up with tight little pigtail buns. Position them how you want them and then pin them in place.
  • While the rest of your hair is in a ponytail, two braids, or really whatever style you want, comb the front part of your hair forward and then flip it back into a pompadour shape. (Back-comb the back side of this section of hair if you need some extra volume.) Position it how you want it, pin it into place, and add hairspray as needed.
  • Gather your hair into a loose bun on the top of your head using an elastic. (Brush and/or back-comb it before you do this if you want it extra floofy.) Pull parts of it out, move it around, etc. until it looks the way you want it, then pin it in place.
  • Fold a bandana (color chosen according to the hanky code, natch) diagonally, and again, and again, until it’s a thin strip. Tie it around your head, with the center of the bandana at the back/base of your skull and the ends just above the center of your hairline (or off-center, if you prefer). Anchor it in place with bobby pins (I usually do one in front of each ear and one through the knot at the top).

Slather on some coconut oil before shaving. Damn, I love this shit. Beauty experts will often tell you to moisturize after shaving, since your skin might be dry and/or irritated at that time, but I get even better results when I moisturize before I shave. For blissfully smooth legs, underarms, and labia, I like to rub some coconut oil into my skin 15-30 minutes before getting in the shower, and maybe add some more after I’m done shaving. Best!

Defeat your chub rub. For those unaware, chub rub is the irritation that can occur where skin rubs together on the body, particularly once you introduce heat, sweat, and/or a lot of walking into the equation. Between the thighs is a common spot, though it can happen in other areas too.

Different people have different ways of dealing with chub rub, according to the area(s) it afflicts them and how severe it is for them. Here are some solutions I can recommend:

  • Monistat Chafing Relief Powder-Gel is my go-to, ever since a friend insisted I buy some a few years back. It’s chemically similar to a thick silicone-based lube (see below), so it helps my thighs glide over each other rather than rubbing roughly together when I walk. It also supposedly aids with moisture control, cutting down on friction even further. Love love love!
  • My friend Bex recommends Uberlube – another silicone-based product – for chub rub. Like the Monistat gel, it’s slick but also a wee bit powdery, the ideal combo for this summertime complaint.
  • Some people swear by deodorant or antiperspirant as a chub rub cure. I used to put some between my thighs on summer days and it worked pretty well.
  • When I really need to ensure I’ll avoid chub rub – like when I’m planning on going for a long walk and don’t want to be in agony by the end of it – I’ll wear little bike shorts under my dress or skirt. These also, conveniently, prevent you from accidentally flashing bystanders if you happen to be rocking a short hemline on a windy day, or if you walk over a subway grate, Marilyn-style.

Wear a “bed scent.” I love this idea, which I first read about in the Dry Down. Rachel Syme recommends wearing perfume to bed, as “a comfort, a balm, a tangible curtain between the waking hours and the dreaming ones.” I would imagine this works best when you maintain some consistency: after all, a scent you spritz on only in bed at night could have a Pavlovian effect and drag you down into sleep more easily.

Notes typically associated with sleepytime include lavender, chamomile, and sandalwood; Syme also recommends oud. So try filtering by those notes on your favorite perfume site (I like IndieScents) and ordering some samples to try. (Also feel free to peruse my past writing on perfume if you need recs. And there’s always the Dry Down.)

Summer is a time when I crave quotidian glamour – when I’m likely to, for example, decadently moisturize my entire body while listening to chill jazz, or prance around my room in high heels having no intention of leaving the house – and the notion of a “bed scent” fits in perfectly with that pursuit. Sometimes you just want to feel beautiful, slinky, and delicious for purely your own sake.

Don’t forget your sunscreen!! I can’t always be arsed to put it all over my body, but at the very least, I put some on my face, my upper chest, and my visible tattoos when I know I’ll be getting some sun. I don’t want my face to wrinkle or my tattoos to fade any sooner than they have to! Plus there’s that whole “skin cancer” thing…

My top pick for sun protection is Neutrogena Ultra-Sheer Dry-Touch Sunblock. “Dry-touch” is a bit of a laugh – it’s greasy, like almost all sunscreens, in my experience – but if I put a little translucent powder over the top, I’m fine. This one doesn’t break me out like lots of other sunscreens have in the past. Consider lip balm with SPF in it, too; I like the ones by Nivea.

What beauty tips ‘n’ tricks get you through the summer?

25 Things I Absolutely Must Do This Summer

Kate Sloan

It is, at long last, warming up here in Toronto. I have been Googling “When will it get warm?!” for months, so I’m thrilled, obviously.

While Canadian weather leaves a lot to be desired, it does make me especially grateful for new seasons when they appear. I am always making dreamy lists in my journal of the adventures I hope to go on when the weather changes. Here are 25 activities I endeavor to embark on in the coming months…

Drink a mint julep on a patio. Mint juleps are my summertime boozy go-to. They are so refreshing and decadent when it’s balmy outside. Last I checked, you could get a good julep at Clinton’s during the warm months. I also keep hearing good things about Bar Isabel, and I love the classic cocktails and cozy vibe at Northwood. Here’s to lots of cold drinks on sunny patios this season!

Read lots of books. Speaking of patios: there are few leisures more pleasurable to me than sitting on a café patio with a big iced coffee (or mango smoothie) and a fascinating book. I’ve got plenty of good ones to work through this season: Love, Sex, and Awakening, The Remedy, and I Love Dick, to name just a few!

Make out on a sunny hillside. Look, no summer in Toronto is complete without kissing a cutie in Riverdale Park at sunset. It’s one of the prettiest views in the whole city, and being there with someone I adore always fills me with a sense of renewed hope and optimism. (The Chester Hill lookout, pictured, is also a great spot for makeouts if a picturesque view is your idea of romance.)

Swim naked. I spent several evenings this past winter making out naked with cuties in the heated pool at a sex club. Being naked underwater just feels primally right somehow, when you’re in the right environment and headspace for it. Hopefully I’ll be invited to some lascivious pool parties or beach days this summer. Or maybe I’ll just invite a handsome suitor into my bathtub with me. Whatever works.

Buy a great new lipstick. Summer is traditionally when I rock my brightest pinks and weirdest purples. Having a new lipstick to wear can give you a whole new lease on life. I love going shopping with fellow femmes, trying out a zillion shades on the back of my hand, and buying the one that makes me happiest.

Go dancing. You can really do this year-round but there is something particularly hedonistic about summertime dancey nights: you can wear a short dress or tiny shorts, adorn your face with a healthy sprinkling of glitter, and boogie til you break a sweat. Clinton’s has frequent themed dance nights, and there’s also the Queer Slowdance and so many other spots. I want the unmatched exhilaration of moving my body to beats well into the wee hours!

Get a tattoo. I’ve gotten new tattoos two summers in a row, and maybe I’ll continue that streak this year… I have some ideas percolating but I’m not totally sure yet. Hmm!

Host a party. My get-togethers are usually simple affairs involving pizza, cider, sex gossip, and maybe a few rounds of Use Your Words or “Which Would You Rather Bang?” But low-key though they might be, they’re still nourishing to my soul. Laughing with good friends on the reg is so important that you should pre-schedule it if that’s what it takes to make it happen.

Go on vacation. My main trip of the summer will be for Woodhull, but I’m going to try to get away at least one other time as well. Maybe I’ll go visit friends in Hamilton, Kingston, or Montreal. Maybe I’ll trek down to New York to see Bex. Wherever I end up going, I think it’s critical to escape one’s home for at least a few days in the summer, just to shake things up.

Stay up all night. This is a habit I picked up during high school, when my loosey-goosey summertime schedule enabled me to fuck up my sleep patterns all summer with no repercussions. Now that I’m an adult with responsibilities (not to mention an aging body), this is less possible – but it’s still doable if I time it right. Here’s to watching sunrises from rooftops with babes I adore, and fuelling my jangling brain with coffee that makes my teeth chatter when I smile.

Go on first dates. You can spark new romances any time of year, of course, but they feel particularly salacious and fresh when it’s warm out, I find. I plan to hop on Tinder, OkCupid, or SwingTowns and find some new cuties to romance. Even if none of your rendezvous lead to anything beyond one date, you can still make the most of those dates and have a fun time. Getting to know someone new is an exercise in empathy and communication skills, at the very least.

Celebrate Pride. There are certainly valid criticisms of Pride – its corporatization, its predominant focus on cis gay white men, its tumultuous relationship with police. I still love it, or at least the idea of it. It’s tradition. I love putting on a ridiculous outfit, slathering myself in sunscreen, and shimmying down the street with other rambunctious queers, shouting proud slogans and singing silly songs. I love taking up space as a queerdo and insisting on our importance in this world.

Get breakfast at a diner with someone cute. Grabbing an all-day breakfast after a night of bangin’ (or just platonic hangtimes) is one of my favorite simple joys. Eggs, toast, homefries, coffee, sausage, bacon, and good conversation. What’s not to love?! (My favorite spots for this are 7 West and the Detroit Eatery, but you knew that already.)

Go to an outdoor movie screening. Toronto always has plenty of these in the summer, at Yonge-Dundas Square and in Christie Pits Park and various other places. One of my fondest summer memories is laughing my ass off with a bunch of strangers at a public Anchorman screening years ago; I dressed up like it was the 1970s and we chorused our favorite lines at the screen. Communal movie-watching is so fun!

Try something new sexually. I first received oral sex one balmy July night in 2008, and I lost my PIV virginity on a sweaty evening in May of 2011, so I guess summers are entangled with sexual “firsts” in my mind. Maybe this’ll be the summer I finally get fisted, or go down on someone who has a vulva, or fuck on top of a grand piano, somehow…

Go on a long walk. I love exploring my city when it’s warm enough that I can do so without a coat. Podcasts or songs keep me company in my earbuds, and I go wherever my feet want to take me. Walks always calm my mind and sate my body – and I often have flashes of creative brilliance mid-walk that lead to fantastic blog posts, articles, or songs!

Visit a nude beach. I’ve never been to Toronto’s clothing-optional Hanlan’s Point Beach, and I can already hear my local friends groaning their dismay as I type that. Surely this is the summer when I finally make the trip! Being casually naked around other people is so good for your body image and self-acceptance.

Devour a TV show. In summers past, I’ve gorged on How I Met Your Mother, The Office, The L Word, and various others. It may sound trivial, but immersing myself in a fictional world always leaves me fulfilled and inspired. Each new lens through which you view your life gives you new tools and new ideas. I am always trying to broaden my horizons in any way I can, even if I do so by becoming temporarily obsessed with fictional romantic storylines!

Journal at sunrise. I don’t know why all my thoughts feel so much more poignant and important if I have them while the sun is coming up, but they do! I like sitting on a rooftop, café patio, or hillside as the day begins and meditating in my journal about whatever’s bothering me or whatever I’m grateful for. I always feel so cleansed and productive afterward.

Pose for gorgeous photos. Sometimes I think I hear the voice of Future Me whispering in my ear from decades ahead; she always tells me to appreciate what I have now. Part of that, I think, is appreciating what I look like now, because – shallow though this may sound – I’ll never look this young again! I’m lucky enough to have lots of photographer friends; maybe they’d like to indulge me in snapping some sunny glamor shots sometime this summer.

Go out for ice cream. This doesn’t have to be a date, but gosh, it’s cute when it is. You get to debate the best ice cream flavors and make fun of your date’s questionable tastes. You get to giggle at them when they get melted ice cream all over their lips, and then maybe kiss it off ’em. You get to banter wittily, or sit in comfortable silence, while crunching your cones. Like many food-related dates, it’s more about the ritualistic glee of it than the food itself – although, let’s be real, Baskin-Robbins’ peanut butter chocolate ice cream is a damn fine treat.

Wear high heels. I normally hate doing this, but hey, summer is the time for it. Even if I just end up gallivanting to the corner store or local café in my Sofft T-straps or Zara wedges, wearing heels in summer still feels crucial somehow.

Seek out new music. Spotify’s various music-discovery tools make this super easy, so I have no excuse! I love having specific soundtracks for particular times in my life, both because new music makes life feel more exciting and because it can act as a sensory time capsule when I listen to it again months or years later.

Get together with old friends. I have several pals who go to school in other cities but come back into town each summer, and I love catching up with them when I can. We go see improv shows or outdoor theatre productions, get dinner or drinks, and reminisce about old times. It always feels so necessary and uplifting!

Experiment with different identities. Summer is always the time when I try new perfumes or clothing silhouettes, push the limits of my personality, and consider launching bold new projects. The more relaxed climate lends itself better to identity shifts, somehow. I’m looking forward to seeing who I become this year.

What do you hope to do this summer, my loves?

 

Heads up: this post was sponsored, and as always, all writing and opinions are my own!