Review: Bodywand Midnight Plug-In Massager

Astute readers will recall that the quest for a rumbly, reliable, petite wand vibrator has occupied a lot of my sex toy testing time over the past year. Seeking a travel-friendly wand capable of getting me off in hotel rooms, I’ve tried colorful contenders, sleek silver selections, and rose-gold gadgets. But all of them have come up short: most often, they’re too buzzy or weak; sometimes they have mechanical problems that make them short out at crucial moments; sometimes they just don’t feel sexy enough to slot into a fantasy-like hotel tryst.

But I’m elated to announce that I’ve finally found the compact wand of my dreams: the Bodywand Midnight plug-in massager.

Sometimes I feel like Bodywand is a secret I’m keeping from the sex toy world. They just don’t seem that widely known about; they’re almost never recommended in the same breath as the Magic Wand and the Doxy. I’ve had an original plug-in Bodywand for years and it remains a staple of my collection, a failsafe for times when many other vibrators just aren’t up to snuff, because its vibrations are strong enough, rumbly enough, and it has a DIAL.

Let me tell you about the dial, because it’s a big fucking deal. The vast majority of wand vibrators – and indeed, vibrators in general – have buttons (or sometimes, infuriatingly, just one button) which you use to navigate through the various speeds and settings. This system probably works fine for most people, but my clit is easily numbed and easily overstimulated, so sometimes a too-big jump between speeds can desensitize or overload my bits before I even realize what’s happened. I almost always wish I had more granular control over vibration strength. With Bodywand, I finally fucking do.

Both this smaller Midnight edition and my older, bulkier Bodywand have a dial, and it’s a fucking godsend. I can edge up their power just the tiniest bit at a time, and slide it back down again when I need to. I can control my entire experience, second by second, with the smallest flicks of my thumb. It makes me feel empowered where a lot of vibrators leave me frustrated and defeated.

The quality of the vibrations, too, impresses me. I find them deliciously rumbly – but I should note that they’re only really rumbly for the bottom one-third to one-half of the vibration range. Friends who need more power have described these vibes as buzzy, but I tend to stay on the lower side of this vibrator’s capabilities so I only ever encounter rumbliness for the most part. Sometimes I nudge up into buzzy-land toward the end of a long session, but at that point it’s the type of buzziness that pushes me over the edge, rather than numbing me out.

This vibrator’s flexible neck works fine for me because I don’t put a lot of pressure on my clit when I use vibes, but if you do like pressure, you’ll probably find this vibrator unworkable. While we’re talking about the neck, I should also mention that the head is apparently made of thermoplastic rubber – a bummer, for sure. It would have been so easy to make it silicone and it would have improved this product substantially. Since TPR is porous, I’ll have to stick a condom on this wand if I ever want to share it with a partner I’m not fluid-bonded with, use it anally (which I wouldn’t recommend, but hey), or use it while menstruating or while getting over a vaginal infection. It’s not the biggest deal but it is annoying.

But for the most part, I’m over the moon for this vibrator. At 10″ long, it’s a reasonable size for my carry-on luggage, and also doesn’t take up much room on my nightstand when I’m using it at home. The dial makes a satisfying clicking noise when it kicks on, and gives me sublime control over my experience. The vibe being electric might inconvenience some people, but for me, it just means I don’t have to worry about batteries and charging. The head thrums faithfully against my body and gives me easy, consistent orgasms, which I appreciate all the more because so many other vibrators have utterly failed at this task.

The Bodywand Midnight massager is the best new vibe I’ve tried in a long time, and I’m sure that it and my suitcase are about to get closely acquainted.

 

Thanks so much to Bodywand for sending me this product to try!

Review: Lelo Loki

Photos by Matt – thank you, Matt!

Being a service sub, I relish opportunities to shower my dominant in gifts – but being a freelance writer, I don’t always have the financial resources to make this happen (to say the least). So I was happy when Betty’s Toy Box sent me a Lelo Loki for my partner to try. I suspected he would love it, and he did!

Prior to acquiring the Loki, he had a Lelo Billy, which is pretty but has never been updated to have one of Lelo’s much rumblier 2nd-generation motors like some of their other toys have. The Billy’s diameter is also on the slimmer side – 1.37 inches – and he’s been preferring slightly larger penetration lately. Its minimal curve, too, leaves something to be desired.

The Loki, by comparison, boasts a 1.5-inch diameter, a more extreme curve for hitting the prostate, a better flared base, and a stronger and rumblier motor. It’s an upgrade in every way, so long as you can contend with the size.

The Loki is basically a butt-friendly version of the much-revered Lelo Mona 2, its G-spot-focused cousin. Frankly you could use either toy for either purpose, so long as you were careful not to let the Mona slip too far inside you during anal play – but it is nice to have an anal-specific toy when that’s what you’re in the mood for. The Loki’s curve also means it could hit the G-spot through the vaginal wall when used anally, if that’s the anatomy you’re working with.

My partner likes a lot of things about the Loki: the pretty blue color, the excellent motor, the many varying speeds, the prostate-targeting shape, the travel lock, the silky silicone, and the size, which he describes as “really, really perfect: don’t need a lot of warmup but feels full.”

His complaints about the toy are as follows: Some of the pulsing settings are too annoyingly unpredictable to be pleasurable. There are visible seams on both the handle and the insertable part of the toy, which are ugly and potentially hard to clean. The charging cable is too short, and is – for some reason – beige, which really doesn’t jive with the otherwise sleek aesthetic of the toy and its accoutrements. The toy rotates easily during use. It’s difficult to tell what each button does simply by feel, so he has to look at them while adjusting the toy’s speed. And button-pressing is consistently finicky on this toy: the buttons will light up when clicked but the setting won’t always change, which is an issue I’ve also experienced with the Doxy and can confirm is very annoying.

Overall, though, m’dude is very happy with his Lelo Loki. He says it’s become his favorite vibrating anal toy. He’ll frequently plug it in before we start having phone sex so it’ll be ready for him whenever he wants to use it – and I love hearing how hard he comes when it’s in his ass. Lelo certainly has their problems, from poorly-designed toys to weirdly exclusive toys to ethical abominations, but when they try to make vibrators that are simple and simply good, they often succeed. Now if only they would develop their entire product line and marketing strategy as thoughtfully and well as they developed the Loki.

 

Thanks to Betty’s Toy Box for hooking us up with a Lelo Loki to try!

Review: Le Stelle Perks EX-C

I’m always on board with new luxury sex toy companies popping up to fill the shoes of Lelo and Jimmyjane, now that those brands have well and truly jumped the shark. So I was excited when Le Stelle reached out to offer me a vibrator to try.

I chose the Perks Series Ex-C – and no, I’m not sure why it’s called that. It’s a rechargeable vibrator in a lovely shade of cornflower blue, and it comes with two interchangeable attachments: one for external/clitoral use, and one for dual stimulation (G-spot + clit at the same time).

Switching the attachments out is easy – you twist one counterclockwise to remove it, and twist the new one clockwise to lock it in place. They’re both made of smooth, matte silicone that feels luxurious to the touch. The attachments feel fancier than the plastic vibrating base, which is lightweight and doesn’t feel as substantial, but they look pretty together.

The clitoral attachment, I will admit, did next-to-nothing for me. The vibrations are buzzier than my clit prefers, making my genitals start to get numb and my hand start to get itchy within a minute or so. They also start too high for me – I like a lot of gradation in my vibrator speeds – and there are only 3 steady speeds before you start cycling through the 7 patterns. Scrolling through modes with only one button is annoying as hell, but Le Stelle is hardly the first company to use this system – my beloved We-Vibe does it too – so I can hardly fault them for that. The clit attachment is also bendy/squishy/flexible, so if you like any pressure whatsoever on your clit, you’ll have a hard time using this. And as icing on the cake, the vibrations this toy produces are loud – think mini-buzzsaw – even though its marketing copy says it’s “discreet and quiet.” Nope.

With all that in mind, I was ready to write this vibe off, but then I tried the dual-stimulation attachment. It’s got a big swollen G-spot head, a slim tapered shaft, and a little ridged nub that’s supposed to sit on your clit. I found, to my surprise, that this attachment works really well for my body: it lines up just right with both my G-spot and clit at the same time, which is a feat in itself, and it strikes a good balance between firmness and squishiness and between broadness and slimness for my particular G-spot. The buzzy vibrations feel less annoying when they’re inside; my G-spot evidently likes buzziness more than my clit does, because I was actually able to squirt with this toy by thrusting it while the vibrations were on. Neat!

The clitoral nubbin stays in place pretty well when I leave the vibe still, but, as I mentioned, these vibrations aren’t my clit’s favorite. It tends to go numb after a little while, and I can’t imagine getting off with this vibe alone. Luckily, though, the attachment is flexible enough that I can bend it backwards a little, to keep the internal portion in contact with my G-spot while freeing up some space in front of my clit for my hand or another vibe. Using the Perks Ex-C this way, orgasm is possible – and often quite intense, with all that G-spot pressure and vibration going on.

While this attachment looks like it might be anal-safe, I wouldn’t recommend using it that way – I’d be too scared the attachment would pop off and get lost inside you. A reader on Instagram also reported to me that they owned the anal-friendly version of this toy and it broke while they were switching the attachment, exposing the wires underneath. If that’s anything to go on (which it might not be – I haven’t confirmed this case and I don’t know if it’s a one-off or not), these vibes might not be the most durable, and they’re only splash-proof, not waterproof, so I wouldn’t trust these for particularly strenuous or wet sessions.

That said, for $69.90 (nice), I think the Le Stelle Perks Ex-C is a pretty decent G-spot vibrator, if nothing else. I have a hard time finding toys that don’t make my G-spot want to curl up and die, and this pleased it better than anything new I’ve tried in quite a while. Plus it’s pretty, and I’m a sucker for a good blue.

 

Thanks so much to Le Stelle for providing this toy for me to review! This post was sponsored, and as always, all writing and opinions are my own.

It’s a Wand Vibe Throwdown!

Recently SuporAdultProduct.com reached out asking me to review some toys for them, and I noticed that they had a super robust wand vibrators section. I haven’t seen this many wands in one place since the last Harry Potter movie! Here are some mini-reviews of the 3 rechargeable wands they sent me…

The Original Rechargeable Magic Wand Vibrator (a.k.a. “the pink one”)

Pros:

  • Most importantly: the vibrations are pretty good. Strong, relatively rumbly, everything I want.
  • It has 6 steady speeds – more than most wands of this size. Well, it actually has 3 different steady-speed modes, each of which has both a high and a low setting. (Sound complicated? Yeah, I’ll get to that when I list the cons…)
  • It’s a truly electric, Pepto Bismol shade of pink. Delightful.
  • It has a bendy neck, which I’m told some people care about.
  • At $28.99, it’s much cheaper than I would generally expect for a vibe this big and strong.

Cons:

  • As you can probably infer, it’s an obvious knockoff of the official, Japanese-made Magic Wands we know and love.
  • As such, it feels light and insubstantial – not at all the hefty luxury item that a real Magic Wand Rechargeable feels like to me. The ABS plastic casing feels like it could fall apart at any moment.
  • While the website claims the toy’s head is made of silicone, to me it looks, feels, and smells more like whatever cheap foamy substance made up the heads of original Magic Wands (read: probably porous).
  • The controls aren’t exactly intuitive. There’s a power button, a speed-change button, and a button for cycling through several patterns. Some of the patterns’ speeds can be changed, some can’t.
  • This wand is as loud as the original Magic Wand, which is to say, loud.

Bodywand Plug In Multi Function Massager Black (a.k.a. “the black one”)

Pros:

  • The vibrations of this one, too, are strong and rumbly – though they do get slightly buzzier as you increase the speed.
  • It has a stellar eight speeds, and several patterns.
  • I like how its ABS plastic body feels in my hand: substantial and smooth, sort of like the original Doxy.
  • Also like the Doxy, it has a subtly curved/tapered body which makes it comfortable to hold, and feels sexy to the touch.

Cons:

  • Once again, I’ve gotta say, this appears to be a knockoff. I doubt Bodywand made this.
  • The head – which may or may not be made of silicone – picks up lint, dirt, and hair constantly, so I need to carefully rinse it off a lot.
  • The seam on said head is slim and thus tough to clean.
  • The shape of the head is too broad and round to suit my tastes; I prefer something with an angular edge I can use to focus the vibrations onto my clit in a more pinpoint way.
  • Most annoyingly: this wand, for no apparent reason, starts at its highest speed when you first turn it on. You have to press the speed button seven times to get down to the lowest setting if that’s where you want to start, and then it starts building back up again.

Pipedream USB-Rechargeable Silicone Mini Body Massager (a.k.a. “the purple one”)

Pros:

  • Most amazingly, you can use EITHER END of this toy. It has one button which controls the motor in the head, and one which controls the motor in the shaft/handle. (You can’t have both on at once, but you wouldn’t really ever need to.)
  • Both motors are impressively strong and rumbly (though the head’s motor is rumblier).
  • Each end has 3 steady speeds and a bunch of patterns.
  • The toy appears to be covered in a body-safe silicone casing.
  • I love the petite size of this wand.
  • It’s got a fair amount of flexibility and squishiness to it, especially in the shaft/handle, setting it apart from most traditional wands.

Cons:

  • I’m sensing a theme: this is definitely a knockoff. Pipedream did not make this.
  • The controls aren’t intuitive. Several times, when I thought I was turning the vibrator off, its buttons just lit up in inscrutable rainbow colors and didn’t shut off until I pressed more buttons.
  • The toy feels somewhat poorly constructed: I can feel mechanical pieces sliding around a little underneath the silicone outer casing, and some of the buttons on the casing don’t quite line up with the places you actually need to press to get the toy to do anything.
  • The vibe occasionally overheats during use, to a worrying degree.
  • The floral texture all over the toy would be a bitch to clean.

Overall: the purple one is my fave. It’s somehow the rumbliest of the bunch, despite being the smallest, and I love the dual motors. I was surprised by how much I liked these vibes, given that they’re all under $40 and somewhat sketchy!

 

Thanks to SuporAdultProduct.com for sending me these toys and sponsoring this post. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Reviews: FemmeFunn Diamond Wand + Bunny Massager

I’ve never been much for aesthetics when it comes to my sex toys. The way I see it, if all I’m doing with an object is shoving it inside me or holding it on my clit while I stare at porn or my partner, then who really cares what it looks like?

But of course, that view is reductive, and doesn’t take into account the broad range of ways sex toys’ aesthetics can feel affirming or exciting to their users. Just because I don’t look at my sex toys during use doesn’t mean nobody does. A toy that feels in line with your gender presentation and ideal aesthetic can take a sexual experience from good to delightful. That’s part of why I’m so glad FemmeFunn exists.

FemmeFunn makes – as their name suggests – whimsical, feminine-looking sex toys. While there’s some debate about whether femme means feminine and whether a sex toy can, in fact, be femme, I have sometimes felt my femme identity being affirmed by toys like these. Not all of this company’s products are super girly – they have a range of realistic cocks and some masculine-coded butt toys – but girliness is what they’re known for and it’s what they do best.

I requested two toys from their line: the insertable Diamond Wand and the clitorally-focused Bunny Massager. Let’s get into it, shall we?

It’s easier for me to talk about the Bunny Massager because my opinion on it is simple: I’m not a fan. I’d hoped I would like it because I’ve previously liked other two-pronged clitoral vibes, like the We-Vibe Gala and Jimmyjane Form 2. I like the way they wrap around the clitoral shaft rather than attacking the head of the clit like so many vibes do. It often makes them a better option for those of us with hypersensitive clits that protest when touched too directly.

This bunny’s flexible ears are optimally shaped and spaced for this type of stimulation: my clit fits comfortably between them, and their soft oval shape lets them stimulate both my clitoral shaft and the internal portions of my clit with aplomb. Or rather, it would, if this toy’s vibrations were rumbly at all.

But alas – this toy is buzzy as fuck. There’s very little gradation in intensity between the 7 different speeds and patterns, so it starts too strong and just gets stronger. The high-pitched, surface-level vibrations just annoy my clit and make it feel battered by sensation. I could get off with this toy, maybe, but it would take forever and wouldn’t even feel good, so what’s the point?

The Diamond Wand, by comparison, is a dream. Its bigger motor is rumblier, though still probably too buzzy to satisfy devotees of the Tango or Mona. Despite its name, it’s not a wand in the traditional sense – it isn’t Hitachi-sized or designed solely for external stimulation – but it does serve up power the likes of which I’d expect from a wand. My friend JoEllen even liked it, and she usually favors big-ass wands like the Doxy.

The Diamond Wand’s shape makes it useable either clitorally or vaginally (but not anally – no flared base), and I’ve enjoyed it both ways. Inserted, it lacks the curve it would need to please my G-spot or A-spot, but its vibrations are powerful enough that it still quakes those zones indirectly. Used externally, its pointed tip, bulbous head, and textured shaft all seem to conduct the vibrations equally well, so you can position it however feels best for you. It’s also got a fair amount of flexibility to it, which, as JoEllen points out, allows it to “wrap” around the body a bit, so you can stimulate, for example, the labia and vaginal opening at the same time.

Like the Bunny Massager, the Diamond Wand has very little variation in intensity between its many speeds and patterns – but it’s less of an issue with this toy because I can move it to different spots of my vulva more easily if I want to mitigate the sensation. The most annoying thing about this vibe, which is true of the Bunny Massager too, is that you have to scroll through all the modes using only one button. A single-button system is fine if your toy only has a few modes, but the Diamond Wand has twenty-one. Yes, that’s right: if you get overstimulated on a high vibration setting and want to get back to a lower one, you have to click a button about twenty times. I am someone for whom moment-to-moment shifts in vibration strength can make or break an orgasm, so this is a huge drawback for me and is the main thing keeping this toy from achieving top-drawer status.

So what’s my final verdict? At $74.99, the Bunny Massager is way pricier than a cheap watch-battery bullet and will numb you out just as badly, so you might as well not bother. FemmeFunn’s bestselling Ultra Bullet is much rumblier and only costs $69.99 (nice). The Diamond Wand is $89.99, and I think that’s a fair price for this versatile, vivacious vibrator – though if you tend to decrease and increase vibration speed a lot when you use vibes, you’d be better off with something that has more than one button, like the Lelo Gigi 2 or Jimmyjane Iconic Wand.

While these toys haven’t made their way into my top drawer, they do look nice on my nightstand. I’m pretty sure no object has ever distilled my gender identity quite like FemmeFunn’s bright pink and turquoise vibrators.

 

Thanks so much to FemmeFunn for sending me these products to try! This review was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.