Author: Kate Sloan

Review: Cupsland Twirl 1.0 adjustable stroker

Kate Sloan
Photos in this post via mb bischoff 💋

What is the Cupsland Twirl 1.0?

The Twirl 1.0 is a stroker, and it’s currently the only product made by Cupsland. (More like Cupland, am I right?!) I’m used to reviewing products from companies with wide catalogues, companies that throw spaghetti at the wall all year long to see what sticks; by contrast, Cupsland has put all of their, uh, cups into one basket. But I kinda respect that choice!

You might assume, from the Twirl’s space-agey aesthetic, that it vibrates or squeezes or, indeed, twirls – but this is actually a non-mechanical stroker, meaning that you have to either move it up and down by hand, or anchor it somewhere (like between your bed’s mattress and boxspring) so you can thrust in and out of it. It has a feature Cupsland calls its “patented three-level twirl,” which allows you to adjust the toy’s tightness while you’re using it, by rotating the cap at the end of the toy to one of three tightness settings.

Cupsland wanted me to put the Twirl to the test, so I asked my spouse if she’d mind sticking her dick in it, for science… Let’s discuss the pros and cons we discovered.

A peek at the toy’s internal texture, via Cupsland

Things we like about the Cupsland Twirl 1.0

  • I really do dig the aesthetic of this toy. I think it’s neat that they went with a hyper-modern, stylized look for the outer casing, and a more humanoid, vulva-esque appearance for the sleeve itself.
  • Further, I think the toy’s outer appearance is juuust different enough from your standard Fleshlight that it might not be immediately recognizable to any onlookers, so it’s a bit more discreet than a lot of other strokers I’ve seen.
  • The internal texture features ridges and nubs, and my partner said that these felt surprisingly similar to the naturally ribbed texture of vaginal walls around their dick during PIV. The texture itself is softer and less intense than those of some other strokers she’s tried (including some Fleshlights); she thinks this makes the Twirl more suitable for longer sessions where you want to draw things out, because the texture feels good but not overstimulating to the point of prompting a premature orgasm.
  • The sleeve gets tighter as you get deeper, which felt good for my partner – although she was only able to enjoy the full depth when she took the sleeve out of the toy’s outer casing, for reasons I’ll explain below.
  • Like more and more strokers being produced these days, this one comes with its own drying rod. It’s made of a super absorbent material; just insert it into the toy after washing it out with soap and water, and the drying rod will soak up the moisture, allowing the toy to dry faster and more hygienically. This makes normally-cumbersome cleaning into a somewhat easier process. The toy can even stand up by itself on the rod while it’s drying.

Things we don’t like about the Cupsland Twirl 1.0

  • Our biggest issue with this toy (so to speak) is that it’s simply too small for my partner’s dick. She’s on the larger side (about 7.3″ length x 1.8″ diameter) and was only able to fit about one-third of her cock into the toy, even on the loosest setting with a ton of lube, and it was too uncomfortably tight to be enjoyable. Even inserting 3 fingers felt tight, though, so I imagine this would affect some people with smaller dicks than my spouse’s as well. At one point, she tried removing the squishy inner sleeve from the hard outer case, and just using the sleeve itself as a stroker; this was much comfier/easier and felt a lot better.
  • While Cupsland’s description of the product claims that adjusting its tightness is “effortless,” my spouse found that it was actually really, really hard. It required all of her strength, and she’s the gal I ask for help when I can’t open a pickle jar/wine bottle/dildo box, so I gather it would be impossible for me to do it, with my chronically sore/weak hands. For this reason, this isn’t a very disability-friendly toy, at least if you plan on adjusting the tightness at all (which you should, since that’s the toy’s main feature).
  • As with many strokers, this one is made of a proprietary material (in this case, something called “NaturSKIN”) which is almost certainly porous. This is generally fine for penile toys, because dicks usually aren’t as prone to irritation/infection as vaginas are – but it does mean that the toy won’t last as long as a silicone stroker would, and will cling onto some amount of bacteria even with thorough cleaning.
  • Speaking of cleaning: it’s annoying with the Twirl, as it is with most strokers. The closed-end design of this one makes it slightly more of a hassle than it would otherwise be, although the inclusion of a drying rod (see above) helps make up for this, as does the fact that the sleeve can be flipped inside-out for cleaning.
  • The toy’s $60 price tag is a bit hard to swallow (so to speak), given that it’s non-mechanical and you can get plenty of great non-mechanical strokers for under $40, including some made of non-porous materials.

Final thoughts

While I think the Cupsland Twirl 1.0 has a really cool design and an interesting internal texture, it was ultimately too tight and difficult to use for my partner and I to really be able to enjoy it. She could reach orgasm from stroking herself with the toy’s sleeve, once it was removed from the outer casing, but the sensations weren’t as intense as those she gets with some other strokers.

However, if your penis is small-to-average, and you want a slick-looking, adjustable stroker with a realistic internal texture, the Twirl 1.0 might be exactly what you’re searching for. Why not take it for a twirl? …uh, I mean, a whirl?

 

[Edited to add, on 10/21/2024:] I have a coupon code you can use at Cupsland! Use code “KATESLOAN” at checkout to get 15% off your order 😘

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, everything I’ve written here is what I honestly think.

Review: We-Vibe Wand 2

Kate Sloan

Yep, I’m reviewing another wand. Can’t stop, won’t stop, baby!

Sex toy companies around the globe are always cranking out new wands, because this genre of toy is so popular. But it’s relatively rare that a new wand comes out which I’m actually excited about. The We-Vibe Wand 2 is definitely one of those wands.

As you might have intuited by the “2” at the end of its name, the Wand 2 is an updated version of We-Vibe’s first wand, which they released back in 2019. At the time, I liked it, but didn’t love it – its vibrations were powerful and rumbly, but its intensity was controlled via a joystick-esque button that could be hard to operate, so it didn’t earn a spot in my regular wand rotation.

However, the new Wand 2 has gone back to traditional buttons. It’s also 30 grams lighter and 1.4 inches shorter than the original Wand.

Oh, and it makes me come super hard. (You can listen to the first orgasm I ever had with it, if you don’t believe me.) Let’s talk about the We-Vibe Wand 2!

Things I like about the We-Vibe Wand 2

  • Let’s not bury the lede: this is one of the strongest and rumbliest vibrators I’ve ever tried. It makes me come easily, quickly, and hard, even on its low-to-middle intensity settings, because of how rumbly it is. On its highest setting, the Wand 2 feels stronger than the Fun Factory Vim, though not as rumbly. Its upper settings are rumblier than the Magic Wand Rechargeable‘s, though not quite as strong – I’d say that the highest speed of the MWR just barely exceeds the We-Vibe Wand 2‘s power output. Overall, I’m really, really impressed with this wand’s vibration strength and quality – and my clit enthusiastically agrees!
  • This vibe has 10 intensity levels and 10 vibration patterns; each pattern can be used at any of the 10 intensity levels as well. This gives you a ton of variety to play around with.
  • The controls scheme is easy to pick up: the plus and minus buttons can be held down to turn the toy on or off, respectively, and are also used to change the vibration intensity. The left and right arrow buttons are used to cycle through patterns (which is great, because it means that those of us who prefer steady vibration won’t accidentally stumble into pattern-land). The squiggle button can be held down for 2 seconds to turn Smart Silence on or off (more on that later).
  • While the potatoey shape of the Wand 2’s head is baffling at first glance, it’s surprisingly versatile in use. It’s rounded on one side, but the other side offers more pinpointed edges for those who prefer that type of stimulation (like me!). I find myself experimenting with different angles a lot when using this toy, because the vibration can feel quite different depending on what specific part of the wand’s head is touching your body.
  • Nearly the entire toy is encased in a soft, smooth, matte silicone that plays well with water-based lube and feels sexy to the touch.
  • The curved shape of this wand feels more ergonomic than a straight one, and also makes it easier for me to direct this toy’s vibrations onto my neck/shoulders/etc. for massaging sore muscles.
  • This toy is fully waterproof! That’s extremely rare for a wand this powerful. I could see this being a wonderful bathtime companion.
  • You can connect this toy to the We-Vibe app and control it that way, or even cede control to a long-distance partner. I don’t tend to use wands this way, but I’m glad the option exists!
  • It’s quiet! …for a wand. By which I mean: it would be audible from across a room, but probably not through a closed door, which is more than I can say for many other wands as powerful as this one.

Things I don’t like about the We-Vibe Wand 2

  • There’s a weird thing that happens around the 5th or 6th speed (of 10) where the ultra-rumbly vibrations will seem to glitch out, becoming noticeably buzzier all of a sudden, without me having pressed any additional buttons. The Lelo Smart Wand had this same issue, and I find it just as jarring in the We-Vibe Wand. Now, granted, even the glitched-out, buzzier speed is plenty strong and rumbly enough to get me off, so once I recover from the surprise of my vibrator seeming to malfunction, I just continue using it and it’s fine… but I wish this wouldn’t happen at all.
  • A significant amount of vibration transmits into the handle of the toy, which can feel a bit annoying for my hand/fingers after a while.
  • This toy has We-Vibe’s “Smart Silence” feature, wherein the toy senses whether it’s touching your skin or not, and automatically turns off when you lift it away from your body, then turns back on when it makes contact again. Some people might like this feature, but I find it a bit glitchy and temperamental, so I turned it off by holding down the squiggle button for 2 seconds.
  • I don’t love the look of this wand. It’s “sad purple,” and the (admittedly innovatively-shaped) head just doesn’t look as sexy or sophisticated as some other wands do.
L to R: Fun Factory Vim, We-Vibe Wand 2, Lovehoney Classic Wand, Magic Wand Rechargeable

Final thoughts

If you want sheer power above everything else, I’d still direct you to get a Doxy Die Cast (which plugs into the wall) or a Magic Wand Rechargeable (which can be used either plugged in or not), as those both edge out the We-Vibe Wand 2 in terms of vibration strength – albeit not by much.

However: the We-Vibe Wand 2 has the benefit of being very nearly as strong as those other behemoths, and much rumblier than both – not to mention, a whole lot quieter. And unlike the comparably rumbly Fun Factory Vim, the Wand 2 is fully waterproof. It also has a smooth head that’s gentler on the skin and easier to wash than the Vim’s ridgey one.

I have some minor quibbles with the Wand 2, including that one strange mechanical glitch, which doesn’t even stop me from coming (and coming hard!) with this toy. I also wish it weren’t quite so expensive.

But overall, I think this is an absolutely stellar wand. It’s strong as hell, rumbly as fuck, easy to use, waterproof, relatively quiet, and lives up to We-Vibe’s reputation as makers of high-quality vibrators.

The We-Vibe Wand 2 is available at:

This post was not sponsored, but Lovehoney did gift me the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Womanizer Vibe (Womanizer’s First Vibrator!)

Kate Sloan

What is the Womanizer Vibe?

You might know Womanizer as the inventors of pressure-wave technology, which uses rhythmic air pulses to stimulate the clit – or, occasionally, other bits, like the G-spot or even the frenulum of a penis. I reviewed the very first Womanizer back in 2015 and have been following their meteoric rise ever since.

The Vibe is their latest product, and it’s different from anything they’ve done before, because it’s a regular ol’ vibrator, not a pressure-wave toy. Specifically, it’s meant to be a “lay-on” vibrator, meaning that you can lie face-down on top of it, or sit on it, with the tip pressed against your genitals, and then grind against it while it vibrates. (You can use it in other ways, too, but that’s what it’s designed for.)

It’s shaped like your typical Womanizer, but there’s no air nozzle to put on your clit. Instead, there’s a softly pointed tip that’s firm but draped in silicone, which gives it a little squish, similar to the tip of the Dame Kip or We-Vibe Touch.

I’m not much for lay-on vibes in general, but when a big sex toy brand enters a new category, of course I’m gonna be intrigued! So I’ve put the Vibe through its paces and can tell you all about it.

Things I like about the Womanizer Vibe

  • Let it be said: this toy’s vibration is extremely rumbly – by which I mean that its vibrations are low-pitched and satisfying, they stimulate not only the surface of my body but also deeper clitoral structures, and they don’t cause numbness for me like buzzier vibes can. The rumbliness works well whether I’m holding the vibe manually on my clit or grinding against it, even with a fair amount of pressure.
  • This may well be the quietest vibrator I’ve ever used. Ever. Womanizer calls it “noiseless” and “silent,” and I wouldn’t go that far – it’s still a machine, so there’s still some noise involved – but even on the highest speed, I can only hear it at all when it’s less than an arm’s length away from me. Otherwise, it’s inaudible. So, if you’re looking for a super discreet vibrator, I can enthusiastically recommend this one! (It gets louder if you’re grinding against it while it’s pressed against a hard chair, a firm mattress, or similar, but not by much.)
  • The shape of the toy is well-designed for grinding against – as you might expect, since that’s what they made it for! I have a picky clit that prefers to be stimulated through the hood or inner labia, and this toy’s so-called “Pleasure Edges” allow me to line myself up right where it feels the best and grind away. It’s a stark contrast to Womanizer’s pressure-wave toys, which often feel too direct for me. I also love that they covered the whole grindable area of the toy in firm silicone that has just a bit of squish to it – it strikes the right balance between comfort and intensity.
  • Like some other Womanizer toys, this one has an “autopilot mode.” You can activate it by holding down the “~” button for two seconds. When in autopilot, the toy runs through a pre-set vibration program – sort of like a vibration pattern, except longer, more gradual/fluid, and (for me, at least), more enjoyable. I normally don’t like vibration patterns because I find them too jarring and not stimulating enough, but these ones are much more like being teased by an actual human being. And if you find yourself suddenly wanting to take back control of the toy, it’s as easy as pressing down that same button for two seconds again to switch back into manual mode.
  • The overall, uh, hand-feel of this toy is really pleasing. You can tell that these people have done user research and know a thing or two about ergonomics and design. I find this toy comfy to hold, even with my achy hands, and its buttons are placed well for easy access. The silicone is smooth and matte to the touch. It feels sexy in your hand.
  • Speaking of buttons: they’re great. While I wish that I didn’t always have to reach down to press them (more on that below), they are very easy to find by touch alone, because the “+” button is bigger and more raised than the “–” button, and the autopilot button is even smaller and set slightly apart from the first two. I really appreciate the thoughtfulness of this choice and I hope more sex toy companies follow Womanizer’s lead on this one.
  • I haven’t gotten to test it this way yet, but I imagine that the Vibe could work well on (some) penises, if the pointed tip – or the curve just below it – was pressed against the frenulum area, or wherever is most sensitive. It could be gender-affirming for some transfeminine folks to use it, although I still think the Hot Octopuss Pulse and Fun Factory Manta are the best penis vibrators on the market right now.
  • It’s fully waterproof! Yay!

Things I don’t like about the Womanizer Vibe

  • Womanizer has repeatedly emphasized that the Vibe is designed to “avoid overstimulation” and to be less intense than more pinpointed vibrators, and indeed, it’s not as powerful as I wish it was. Even cranked all the way up to the max (10th) speed, I think it’s only about as strong as the first speed (of four) on the Magic Wand Rechargeable, or maybe a little stronger. That being said – as I mentioned before, this vibrator is designed for the user to “lay on” it and grind against it, and it works well for me (i.e. feels good and can get me off) when used in that way. But when I’m just lying on my back and using it like a wand, without moving it against myself at all, it’s not strong enough to get me there.
  • In using the toy as intended (i.e. by lying on it and humping it), I reeeeeally wished it could be controlled via a phone app. It’s annoying to have to reach down between your body and the bed to locate the buttons whenever you want to change the vibration speed. Using the autopilot mode helped a bit with this problem, but sometimes I want more control than that.
  • I got the blue colorway, and while I normally love blue sex toys, this one is a weirdly depressing shade of navyish grey. It’s like the sex toy equivalent of a suit you’d begrudgingly wear to a temp job. But the good news is that it also comes in a springy pale green and a reddish pink.
  • I say this every time I review a Womanizer product, but: I still hate their name. I know changing your company name is a Whole Thing, but dear god, it’s just so bad. Womanizer? Really? In the year of our lord two thousand and twenty-fucking-four? Can we… not?
Size/shape comparison with the Womanizer Next (left) and my beloved Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen (right)

Final thoughts

I’m not a big grinder. Generally I prefer to lie back and let the toy do the work. So, while I may not be the ideal user for the Womanizer Vibe, I’m nonetheless delighted to own one. It’s ultra-rumbly, ultra-quiet, and clearly well-made.

For me, it works best when used as intended. When I’m not in the mood for the physical exertion of humping a vibe, I can still use this toy, but the “lay-on” position is where it really shines. It lacks the sheer power to be stimulating enough as a regular, handheld vibe, unless you’re moving against it – or are quite sensitive.

On that note: you might enjoy the Vibe if you’ve found that typical Womanizer-type toys feel too intense or direct. It allows for a wider variety of approaches and sensations than pressure-wave toys do, and its rumbly vibration is less overwhelming than focused air waves, but the toy is overall shaped very similarly to most Womanizers, so you’ll get all the ergonomic and aesthetic benefits of that.

You should also consider the Vibe if you want a toy that’s basically inaudible – like if you live with family or nosy roommates. And I think it’d make a great gift for beginners to the world of sex toys; it’s understated, easy to use, and starts at a very low speed, so it’s unlikely to intimidate even the newest of newbs.

We need more toys like the Womanizer Vibe in the world: simple, thoughtfully designed, well-made toys that just do what they’re supposed to do. It may not be as flashy as the leopard-print-and-rhinestoned Womanizer I reviewed back in 2015, but it feels a hell of a lot better – and will work for a hell of a lot more people, I suspect.

 

The Womanizer Vibe is available for purchase at:

 

This was not a sponsored review, although Womanizer did gift me the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

“Making Magic” is Nominated for an Award!!! (& You Can Help!)

Kate Sloan

For the year that I spent working on my podcast miniseries about the Magic Wand vibrator, Making Magic, I assumed that it would be meaningful to a small but passionate audience. I certainly never dreamed it would be nominated for awards.

And yet, that is exactly what has happened!! Can you believe?!

Making Magic is nominated for two different Signal Awards. It’s a top-3 finalist in the Limited Series – Health & Wellness category, and it’s also one of the nominees for the Signal People’s Choice award in the same category.

Here’s where you come in: it would mean a lot to me if you could click here and vote for Making Magic, which should take you 15 seconds or less.

Ever since being banned from Instagram and Facebook a couple months ago due to their sex-negative policies, it’s been harder than ever for me to promote my work and earn a living. So I’d really appreciate any help you can give in getting the word out to your networks, online and off, both about the podcast itself and about voting for it.

I want as many people to hear this show as possible, not just because I poured my whole soul into it for a year of my life, but because it conveys a message that our world sorely needs right now – about sexual freedom, equality, and the importance of pleasure. So I’d appreciate it to the depths of my soul if you could throw a vote my way, to help more people hear about this series!

Thanks, as ever, to the dream team who partnered with me on Making Magic, without whom this achievement would have been impossible: my editor extraordinaire, Jamie Pityinger; the folks at Vibratex, who believed in and funded this strange passion project of mine; and Addison Finch, who did the stunning album art. I am so lucky that I got to make this show, especially with such awesome people in my corner. 💖

Thanks, and keep on making magic! 🪄

Behind the Seams: Babely in Berlin

Kate Sloan

September 15th, 2024

What does one even wear for an international journey lasting 12+ hours?! I’m an overanalytical femme, so I thought about this question for way too long while gearing up for my recent trip to Berlin. Is it gauche to wear what basically amounts to pajamas in a public place like an airport or airplane? And if so, do I even care?

In this case, I decided that comfort mattered more than respectability. Travel makes my fibro symptoms flare up like nothing else – plus, I had just received these delightfully soft lounge pants in the mail, so why not wear ’em, decorum be damned?!

I was a very very lucky girl and had a business-class ticket for the longest leg of the trip (first time I’ve ever flown not-economy, wheee!), so my seat could recline fully flat when I wanted to sleep. With the hood of my cashmere hoodie pulled up over my head, my trusty Nidra Deep Rest mask over my eyes, and the airline-provided blanket and pillow swaddling me, I got a better night’s sleep than I ever dreamed possible on a plane. I have probably been ruined for all future flights… 😅

What I’m wearing:

• Black cashmere hoodie – a gift from my spouse’s parents
• Pink T-shirt with a dominatrix on it – the gift shop at the Leather Archive in Chicago
• Black/pink/blue heart-print lounge pants – MeUndies (I think you get 40% off if you buy through that link, btw!)
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Yellow leather Kate Spade Perry satchel
• Apple Watch with navy leather Hermès band – both gifts from my spouse

September 17th, 2024 (day)

This was my first day attending the work event that I’d been flown to Berlin for, and I was really nervous to meet all these new people in a totally unfamiliar environment. Big “first day of school” vibes!! Accordingly, I intentionally chose an outfit that made me feel more confident, powerful, and outgoing – and it actually kinda worked! I made some cool new friends and felt more like myself than I normally do in anxiety-provoking situations. (The years of therapy probably helped, too…)

As with my recent trip to Portland, I’d decided to theme my entire Berlin wardrobe around a unified color scheme; this time, it was green, turquoisey-blue, and yellow. In these photos, you can see that I’m holding a yellow reporter’s notebook by Leuchtturm1917, a German brand, which I bought specifically for note-taking on this trip (nerd!), along with a limited-edition teal and yellow Lamy Safari pen. God, I love pretty-looking writing tools.

In the afternoon, we got to go on a walking tour of the history of sex in Berlin. Our tour guide, Jeff Mannes, is a wildly knowledgeable sex educator and social scientist; would highly recommend taking their tour if you’re ever in town! We learned so much, especially since Germany is largely considered the birthplace of sexology and has fascinating histories with regards to queerness and sex work.

What I’m wearing:

• Teal T-shirt – Torrid (it’s gonna become abundantly clear that I placed a big Torrid order right before this trip, haha!)
• Black/blue/green plaid leggings – Torrid (I love the way these look, and how comfy they are, but they ripped after a single wear, unfortunately)
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Black leather jacket (on my arm) – Danier Leather
• Yellow leather Kate Spade Perry satchel
• Prescription sunglasses – Zenni
• Sex toy earrings – PleasurePunk (one of them is a Womanizer-style toy and the other is a rabbit vibe!)
• Apple Watch
• Name tag!
• …and a special shout-out to Paul Taylor for the fresh haircut

September 17th, 2024 (night)

I headed back to my hotel room to change, and caught up with my beautiful spouse mb, who was able to come spend the week in Berlin with me (yay!!). We got changed and went out for dinner with a big group at Knödelwirtschaft NORD, a place that specializes in traditional German dumplings called Knödel. They were delicious – pillowy, savory, comforting – and it was fun to share them with new pals while talking shop and gossiping about our lives.

Please observe, if you would, my new phone case (visible on the right side of the photo)! It’s by Bailey Hikawa and I am obsessed with it (thanks to May-Li Khoe for the recommendation!). I sometimes have issues with hand pain/weakness due to fibro, and have been known to get the dreaded “smartphone pinkie,” so I was intrigued by this phone case and how it helps you distribute the phone’s weight across multiple fingers more easily. It also functions as a stand, allowing the phone to be propped up at various different angles – perfect for watching videos in bed, setting the phone upright to face me while I’m working at my desk, etc. It’s also nearly the exact same shade of raspberry pink as the first gaming device I ever owned, a Game Boy Color my parents bought me when I was ~8, so this phone case feels sweetly nostalgic to me even though it’s new. (You can see mb’s new case from the same maker in these pictures as well – hers is the Nami and has a more flowy/rounded design.)

What I’m wearing:

• Red floral-print dress – H&M like 7 years ago
• White socks with rainbow hearts – gift from my mom I think?
• Black leather Chuck Taylor high-top sneakers
• Black leather satchel with rainbow panel – from the Zatchels Pride collection (this bag is really too small for my purposes, but damn is it ever cute!!)
• Rainbow earrings – 3Delightfulshop on Etsy
• Apple Watch

September 18th, 2024 (day)

Primary colors ahoy! Day 2 of the work event had me feeling slightly less nervous, and yet, more nauseous… My fibro was flaring up harrrrd from travel stress, and I didn’t have access to my usual medicine over there (if ya know, ya know), so I was raw-dogging all the full-body pain and malaise. I tried to pick an outfit that would make me feel better mentally, without making me feel worse physically – hence the bralessness (bras of any kind are a total no-go for me during flare-ups) and the bright colors to lift my mood! Clearly they hadn’t kicked in yet when I took these dour-faced pictures, however…

I wore this to take notes on some informative presentations, and then to a Shibari workshop taught by KOR Berlin. It was a lovely, meditative experience, complete with a gorgeous live demo. I love kinksters so much.

What I’m wearing:

• Red tri-blend T-shirt with Lickability logo – gift from my spouse (it’s merch for their company!)
• Blue pleated tennis skirt with built-in shorts underneath (!!) – Zhanchtong
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Yellow leather Kate Spade satchel
• Hitachi Magic Wand earrings – FUELifestyle on Etsy

September 18th, 2024 (night)

I changed into something more formal for the evening, because we were going to Tim Raue, which is ranked the 30th-best restaurant in the world and has 2 Michelin stars, so obviously I had to bring my A-game. (Uhh, have I mentioned that my spouse is a foodie?)

First, a group of us went to a local brewery called BRLO, where an experienced brewer taught us how beer is made. I had a glass of their Berliner Weisse and, damn – I’m not normally much of a beer gal, but that was one delicious sour!

And then was our fancy-ass dinner at Tim Raue. OMG. The menu incorporated a mix of Thai, Chinese, and Japanese flavors/ingredients/techniques, and was wildly good, a cavalcade of savory deliciousness. “A triumph,” as Starrina would say!

What I’m wearing:

• Green velvet dress – H&M
• Black leggings – Gap
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Black leather satchel with rainbow panel – Zatchels
• Rainbow earrings – 3Delightfulshop
• Apple Watch

September 19th, 2024 (day)

One of the places I really wanted to visit in Berlin was the Jewish Museum. My dad’s side of the family is Jewish, so I consider myself culturally Jewish if not religiously (I never had a bat mitzvah or anything), and I appreciate opportunities to feel more linked to that lineage. Knowing it would be an emotional experience, I skipped makeup entirely (it would just get cried off!), and I wore a scarf that my late Bubbie knitted for me. It was almost like having her there with me, holding my hand as I walked down hallowed halls of our ancestors’ histories.

Amazingly enough, there happened to be a sex exhibit on, which was all about Jewish views on sexuality, from queerness to gender-fuckery to menstrual sex to abortions. It was an extremely moving exhibit that left me with a lot to think about. The museum’s permanent collection is more focused on general Jewish history, including (of course) a lot of stuff about the Holocaust. The photos above were taken in the Garden of Exile, a work of architectural art unto itself, in which the ground is slanted, creating a sense of scary unsteadiness as you stumble between columns. It’s meant to evoke the feeling of uncertainty and disorientation that European Jews faced when they were driven from their homes during World War II.

Speaking of people being unjustly driven from their homes: I don’t know the museum’s official stance on Zionism, if it has one (there was a strange “Are you a Zionist?” flow-chart on one wall, which seemed to evade the question altogether of whether one should be a Zionist or not), so there were definitely times when it felt weird to read all these accounts of how the Nazis persecuted Jews, given how the Israeli government and military are now persecuting Palestinians to similar effect. If we’ve vowed to “never again” let anything like the Holocaust happen, then we must oppose genocide, in every instance – and seek to help those being targeted – even when we happen to share a religious or cultural background with the perpetrators. I wish (to say the least) that more of my fellow Jews understood this.

What I’m wearing:

• Yellow T-shirt – Torrid
• Black skirt – ASOS
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Green scarf – hand-knit by my late Bubbie
• Black leather satchel with rainbow panel – Zatchels
• Apple Watch

September 19th, 2024 (night)

What’s the best way to cheer yourself up after a day spent moping around the Jewish Museum? DESSERT FOR DINNER!!

…Okay, not exactly. On this night we went to Coda, a dessert-themed restaurant that has 2 Michelin stars and is currently ranked the 62nd best restaurant in the world. (Uhh, sorry for the many foodie brags in this post; I just think it’s amazing that my beloved takes me to so many ridiculously wonderful places, and I gotta yell about it sometimes!)

While they serve a full menu, including savory dinner options, Coda uses techniques and ingredients from the dessert world in all their dishes. Some of my favorites included a brioche donut stuffed with gouda and rutabaga, and a raclette-filled waffle dipped in kimchi powder and yogurt – but the real showstopper was an ice cream popsicle covered in caviar. I mean… what?! As a slut for all things salty-sweet, I was in heaven.

What I’m wearing:

• Navy skater dress – American Apparel
• Black cashmere cardigan – Gap
• Black leather satchel with rainbow panel – Zatchels
• Black leather Frye harness boots

September 20th, 2024

Living with fibromyalgia this past decade or so, I’ve come to value comfortable clothing more highly than ever before. So I was happy to find this dress at Torrid – it’s made of a super comfy cotton-spandex blend, has a 1950s-ish fit-and-flare silhouette without painfully constricting my midsection, and it even has pockets! I ended up wearing this same dress on my 8-hour return flight to Toronto a few days later, in fact, because it made me feel more presentable than the pajamas-esque flight outfit at the top of this post, but was every bit as comfortable.

I rocked this dress for many hours on this day as well. After a brief stop at the beautifully airy Concierge Coffee, we made our way over to the Schwules Museum – a.k.a. the Gay Museum. Yes, it’s a museum about gayness. Of COURSE we had to go!! Its current main exhibition is about sex work, and I loved it. We had already learned a bit about the history of sex work in Germany on our walking tour earlier in the week, but this exhibit was more focused on the present-day sex workers of Berlin, their struggles, and their joys. It was lovely to see.

After that, we set out to walk to Other Nature, a queer/feminist sex shop. Along the way, we happened to pass by the BRLO brewery again, and mb hadn’t been able to come with me on my previous visit there, so we stopped at their beer garden to have a drink in the sunshine – absolutely perfect. We also used their photobooth machine while we were there, because of course we did.

Then, at Other Nature, I was able to buy a German copy of my own book, 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do (a.k.a. Kinky Things, Prickelnde Spiele für 101 Nacht), which was surprisingly emotional for me! I knew that my publisher had printed the book in German, but had never really had a reason to own a German copy, but of course I wanted to buy one while I was in Germany – and it was cool to get it from the exact kind of shop that I most enjoy seeing my work carried at. 🥰 In the evening, we went to Rutz, the only restaurant in Berlin that has 3 Michelin stars, for a dinner that was – as you might imagine – transcendent.

What I’m wearing:

• Green A-line dress – Torrid
• Yellow leather Kate Spade satchel
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Apple Watch

September 21st, 2024

By our last full day in Berlin, I was feeling pretty worn down by all my fibro symptoms, and just wanted to dress for comfort… hence this braless-tee-tucked-into-jeans ensemble. After a great breakfast at Frühstück 3000 (I’m still thinking about their potato terrine), we went shopping for fetishwear at a store called Schwarzer Reiter, which translates directly to “Black Rider.” It very much reminded me of stateside fetish shops I’ve loved, like the Leather Man in New York and Northbound Leather in Toronto.

After that, we went to a museum called the Topography of Terror for their audiovisual guided tour, which told the story of Hitler’s rise to power, the horrors of the Holocaust, and its grim aftermath. Sounds bleak – and it was – but it was also thoughtfully curated and sensitively presented, and felt cleansing and cathartic for me to attend. And of course, I had my love there, holding my hand, during all the hardest parts.

What I’m wearing:

• Bright yellow Beatles T-shirt – Torrid
• Black high-waisted jeans – Madewell (a gift from mb a few years ago)
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Yellow leather Kate Spade satchel
• Black leather jacket – Danier Leather (featuring several enamel pins, including one with the German and Canadian flags intertwined, because someone back home had told me that Germans might treat me less warmly if they mistook me for an American, lol!)

 

Have you ever been to Berlin? What places/activities would you recommend there? And what did you WEAR?!