Author: Kate Sloan

Review: Seekheart G-Spot Slap

Kate Sloan
*slaps roof of sex toy* this bad boy can fit so many fucking flapping tongues in it

Be honest: How willing would you be to have sex with someone, if you knew that their signature move was called the “G-spot slap”?

You can understand, then, why I was somewhat trepidatious to review the pithily-named Seekheart G-Spot Slap… but it’s actually a pretty interesting toy with some unusual functions that set it apart from other dual-stimulation vibrators. Let’s talk about it!

Gif via Seekheart

What is the Seekheart G-Spot Slap?

This toy features two main functions:

  1. The titular G-spot-slapping! This toy’s internal/vaginal arm has a long, noodle-shaped piece of silicone positioned inside a little alcove, so that it flicks back and forth rapidly when its vibrations are turned on, “slapping” your G-spot (as well as your posterior vaginal wall) on each stroke.
  2. A “mouth,” meant to stimulate your clit, with a tongue that vibrates and “licks” up and down, and lips that move back and forth in sucking-esque motion (although it doesn’t produce actual suction – more on that later).

This toy is made of silicone and ABS plastic. It’s IPX6 water-resistant, meaning it can stand up to high-pressure water streams from any direction (like while being washed between uses) but shouldn’t be submerged in water. It lasts about an hour on a 2.5-hour charge, which is pretty typical for a multi-function toy like this.

Things I like about the Seekheart G-Spot Slap

  • There are many ways that sex toys attempt to imitate cunnilingus, from rhythmic air waves to suction to flappy silicone tongues; some are more effective than others, and I tend to prefer those which are motion-based, like the undulating “lips” of this toy, over the more stationary kind. Motion-based toys stimulate more of my clit (as opposed to just focusing on the tip), which is more satisfying and more authentically oral-like. To that end, I really liked how this toy could rhythmically massage my clitoral shaft with its lips in a way that very few other toys have managed to do. When well-lubed, it can even make me come (which I suppose is no surprise, given that I have an easier time coming with human partners when they suck my clit rather than licking it).
  • Unlike a lot of other motion-based toys, this one didn’t seem to slow down much when pressure was applied, or when my vag muscles squeezed around it. Hooray!
  • As violent as the word “slapping” might sound, in practice the G-spot slapping function pretty much just feels like vibration. It starts off rumbly-ish and gets buzzier as you turn it up, but adds a nice undercurrent of sensation that I enjoy. (I didn’t really notice any stimulation on my posterior vaginal wall, possibly because that’s just not a very sexually sensitive zone for me.)
  • The very tip of the toy’s internal arm also “taps” against the A-spot area when the flapping function is turned on. This function doesn’t seem to be mentioned anywhere on the G-Spot Slap’s website, but it’s there! I found that it seemed to vibrate the general vicinity of my A-spot, rather than intensely targeting the spot itself, though, so I’d look elsewhere if you’re hoping for a very A-spotty vibe.
  • Each of this toy’s two main functions can be controlled separately with its own button, so you can (for instance) crank up the power on the internal part while leaving the external part at the same setting, or vice-versa.
  • Further, the buttons are well-labelled and easy to locate, even in the dark, because they’re raised and they light up when the toy is on.
A-spot-tapping tip

Things I don’t like about the Seekheart G-Spot Slap

  • My main issue with this toy is that the lips don’t create suction and don’t apply much pressure… they just move back and forth, like someone open-mouth kissing your clit again and again. That feels good to a point, but just like when human partners do it, I tend to want a little more zeal once I get turned on, and this toy just can’t provide it. Any suction created by the lips’ motion is immediately broken as they continue to move. I was able to get off with this toy by holding it very firmly against my vulva to maintain clit contact as consistently as possible, but even then, the orgasm was hardly satisfying, because – again – there was no suction and very minimal pressure being applied to my clit while I came.
  • The “tongue” inside this toy’s “mouth” is quite pointy, rigid, straight, and uniform, which ultimately makes it feel pokier and far less pleasurable than, say, the more realistic tongue of the Seekheart Licker. To make matters worse, the vibrations conducted by this tongue are quite buzzy, and don’t add much (if at all) to the pleasure provided by the surrounding lips.
  • The mouth has 4 steady speeds followed by 6 patterns; the “slapper” has 3 steady speeds followed by 7 patterns. That is not enough steady speeds, especially since they start quite fast – it would’ve been nice to have several slower options as well. And also it’s irritating that you have to cycle through all the patterns to get back to the first speed.
  • The mouth function is distractingly noisy. When you first turn it on, it sounds like mechanical whirring. In use, it sounds more like somebody is grumbling against my vulva (rhythmically chanting something like “bubble bubble” or “rumble rumble,” to be specific!). Not exactly a mood-setter, unless you’ve got a mumblecore fetish.
  • Speaking of noise: Oddly enough, because this toy’s vaginal arm has a big cutout in the middle of it, it’ll induce the occasional queefing-type sound during use. This doesn’t bother me, and doesn’t cause me any discomfort or anything, but it might bug some users. On that note, the cutout itself also makes the toy minorly more annoying to clean than it would otherwise be, as does the mouth.
  • Unlike with some other dual-stim toys, there’s not really an easy way to use either function of this toy on its own if you wanted to. You can’t, for example, position the toy’s mouth on your clit without also inserting its vaginal arm (or at least, I couldn’t figure out a way to do so!). There isn’t enough flexibility in the shaft to allow for that.
  • At the time that I’m writing this, the G-Spot Slap is retailing for £43.99, which converts to about $58 USD or $81 CAD. I ultimately think that’s too pricey for the lackluster clit stim you get with this toy, at least if clit stim is important to you (which it is for most vulva-havers).

Final thoughts

I’m always saying how much I love it when sex toy companies take risks, creating innovative new ways to prompt pleasure – and the Seekheart G-Spot Slap does a bunch of stuff I haven’t seen elsewhere much, if at all, so I’ve gotta give the company kudos for pushing the envelope!

It mouths your clit with soft lips (“softer than men’s,” according to the Seekheart website!) while vibrating it with a tongue, albeit a pretty pointy one… and it also “slaps” your G-spot and A-spot with pleasing vibration, albeit without much precision. I wish its clitoral sensations were more intense and concentrated, but not every toy aims for intensity – and if the idea of having your clit sweetly kissed again and again is a turn-on for you, you should certainly consider the G-Spot Slap!

But as for me, I think I’ll stick to coming between human lips instead of mechanical ones, because they know me better and feel better – at least until the technology improves. 🤖😉

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As ever, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Seekheart Licker tongue-like toy

Kate Sloan

This tongue-shaped toy actually made me come.

That may not seem like big news, especially for anyone reading this who happens to have gone down on me before, and therefore knows how much I like receiving (good) head… but the truth is, while human tongues have an okay-to-good track record at getting me off, mechanical tongues tend to be less effective. Usually they weaken dramatically when any pressure is applied, leaving fans of forceful licking in the lurch – not to mention, most manmade tongues are eerily smooth and symmetrical, bearing little resemblance to the marvelous, muscular human organ they seek to replicate. You might as well jerk yourself off with a wilted flower petal.

But the Seekheart Licker is a rare outlier. Not only does it look and feel more like a human tongue than any other toy I’ve tried, but it exerts more force than I was expecting – to the point that during my first testing session with it, the tongue part finished me off so quickly and unexpectedly that I didn’t even get to test the toy’s other function, and had to adjourn for a while to reset my refractory period before I could finish testing. 😂

What is the Seekheart Licker?

The Licker is a dual-stimulation toy, meaning (in this case) that it has an internal part which is inserted vaginally for G-spot stimulation, and an external part for clit stimulation.

But as you can see, the Licker’s internal/vaginal part is a tongue! It has an upturned tip that flutters up and down in a motion resembling fast licking when it’s on. The external/clitoral part features a ‘tapping’ mechanism instead (Seekheart calls it ‘beating’). These two functions can be used either simultaneously or separately; each has 3 steady speeds followed by 7 patterns.

The Licker is made of silicone and ABS plastic, and lasts about 1 hour on a 2.5-hour charge.

Gif via Seekheart (I know this looks wild, but it really does visibly flutter like that!)

Things I like about the Seekheart Licker

  • I already sung its praises up top, but… that tongue, though! 👀 It’s made of soft, squishy pink silicone with a firm mechanical core, which gives it a realistic feeling that rivals dual-density silicone dildos. It bears a bumpy, tastebud-like texture, making it even more lifelike and pleasurable. It starts wide and narrows to a point, as tongues tend to do, allowing for vastly different sensations depending on how you angle/position the toy – I favor licks that massage my clit downward through the clitoral hood, for instance, which is easily achievable with the Licker. Rather than bending up and down mechanically, it seems to merely use rumbly vibration – but the tongue is so well-designed that these vibrations make its curved tip flick up and down quickly within an inch-wide range of motion, which feels fantastic on my clit (when the toy is properly lubed and positioned), like the enthusiastic tongue of a determined partner.
  • The clit-tapping function is cool too! It reminds me of the Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen, albeit less rumbly and therefore not quite as pleasurable. And because the clitoral arm has a bit of flex to it, I found that it lined up with my clit just fine (which can be an issue with dual-stim toys), and I could even position the tip of the toy up on my clitoral hood where I prefer it.
  • The internal and external functions of this toy can be controlled separately via their discrete buttons. I’d be more likely to use these functions separately than together, in fact, since I mainly masturbate clitorally. The buttons themselves are straightforward and easy to use: long-press the power button to put the toy in standby mode, then short-press that same button to cycle through clit-tapping modes, or short-press the other button to get that tongue a-flappin’.
  • This is a remarkably quiet toy, which is a very rare quality to find in anything featuring a mechanical tongue. Usually they creak and groan horribly, but this one produces only a soft, unobjectionable whirr that I doubt could be heard at all through a closed door.
  • At the time that I’m writing this, the Licker is priced at £39.99, which works out to about $53 USD or $73 CAD currently. I think that’s a fair price for what you get.
  • While this toy is designed for vaginal and clitoral use, the tongue part could really be used on any external erogenous zone – lube it up and try it on the frenulum of a penis, for instance, or on your nipple, taint, or butthole. Just make sure to sanitize it before using it on a vulva or vagina again, if you choose to use it anally. (On that note: Could you insert the tongue inside your butt? Sure. The rest of the toy would function as a flared base. Should you? Probably not, because it’ll likely just slow down/stop working, for reasons I’ll get into next…)

Things I don’t like about the Seekheart Licker

  • Fundamentally, I just don’t think a tongue (whether human or robotic) is the right tool for G-spot stimulation. While the Licker’s tongue does flap more strongly than many other tongue-like toys I’ve tried before, it can only handle a certain amount of pressure before it slows down or stops entirely – and apparently my vagina’s natural muscle contractions during the early arousal process (not even talking about orgasm here!) are enough pressure to make the tongue stall out. This defeats the purpose of having a dual-stim toy. For this reason, I enjoyed the Licker most when I was using its tongue clitorally rather than vaginally.
  • I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: 3 steady speeds is not enough. Most vibrator users prefer steady speeds over patterns, according to several informal social media polls run by myself and colleagues of mine over the years – so toys should ideally have at least 5 steady speeds, as a matter of far higher priority than any patterns. (Toy designers, take heed!). I haven’t yet been able to reach orgasm with the clit-tapping part of this toy because my clit is a diva requiring more gradation than a mere 3 speeds can offer. 💅
  • While the Seekheart website repeatedly describes the Licker as “waterproof,” it’s not. It is rated IPX5, which means it can withstand low-pressure water streams, but should not be submerged in water or exposed to high-pressure water streams. So, washing it in the sink should be fine, but don’t take it in the shower or bath.
  • Commonly for tongue-shaped toys, you’ll need to use a lot of (water-based) lube with this one for it to feel as good as possible, and you’ll probably need to reapply a few times throughout a session, because the tongue’s flapping motion seems to make lube dry up more quickly.

Final thoughts

I often implore sex toy designers to make products which do one thing very well, rather than overwhelming users with unnecessary bells and whistles. And if the Seekheart Licker were only a tongue, it would succeed at that assignment, because it’s realistic in look and feel, quiet, versatile, simple to use, and can bring me to orgasm easily and consistently. The orgasms even feel closer to those I get from oral sex than those I get from vibrators!

The Licker’s clit-tapping external arm could use some more steady speeds. As-is, it’s not stimulating enough to get me off on its own or in conjunction with the tongue, due to how the tongue slows to a standstill when inserted vaginally.

But when I limit myself to using the tongue on my clit, this toy works wonders – and actually feels almost like a human tongue. Frankly, given how rough these last few months have been personally and politically, I’ll take any excuse to receive some luxuriant head, even if it’s from a machine!

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

How to Customize Your First Fantasy Dildo!

Kate Sloan
Pictured: the Nothosaur Graptor, which I’ll be reviewing here within the next month or so!

Fantasy dildos are some of the zaniest toys on the market, boasting wild shapes, bold colors, and (often) extensive mythological lore. Their designs are impressively creative, and perhaps even more impressive is the way you can often customize a fantasy dildo to your particular specifications. Nothing makes me feel quite as fancy as a bespoke dong!

The customization process can be intimidating, though, especially if you’ve never done it before or just haven’t gotten a strong sense yet of your own sex toy preferences yet. So today I’ve partnered with the folks at Juliet Toys, a retailer that carries dozens upon dozens of fantasy dildos, most of which can be customized. Let me walk you through the main considerations when devising your dream dildo…

Shape vs. Fantasy

Before you even get to the customization part, you have to choose which dildo you actually want. The way I see it, there are two main ways to approach this decision: Do you want a dildo with a particular shape, or a dildo that suits a particular fantasy?

For instance, even if canine-inspired dildos don’t do anything for you mentally, you might enjoy the knotted shape for how it stimulates your G-spot or prostate. On the flipside, I’ve occasionally chosen fantasy dildos to review based solely on the intriguing fantasies they inspired in me, like a robot dick or an alien appendage, without caring too much about the shape. In the ideal situation, however, you’d find a dildo which ticks both your boxes, so to speak – one which appeals to you both psychologically and physically. That’s really the hole-y grail.

While we’re talking shape, it’s worth noting that a dildo needs to have a flared-base to be anal-safe. A flared base also makes a dildo harness-compatible, although so can a Vac-U-Lock hole in the base (more on that below).

Image via Juliet Toys

Size

Fantasy dildos tend to run large. To give you a sense of what I mean: I have occasionally been accused of being a size queen in the past, because I enjoy glass and metal dildos up to 2″ in diameter… which is the same width as the knot on the small size of this “Pooch” dildo. For this reason, always check and double-check the measurements of the size option(s) you’re considering, which will generally be listed on the product page.

If you already own a penetrative sex toy of some kind (or many of them, as the case may be!), you can measure them – or check their measurements in their manual or on the brand’s website – to get a sense of what sizes have/haven’t worked well for you before. Another method you could try, if you enjoy being fingered, is to measure your own fingers (or a partner’s) while bunched together into a fingerfucking formation, and compare those to the product’s dimensions. (This is easiest to do with either a tape measure, or a piece of string and a ruler.)

Firmness

Depending on its firmness or “shore,” a silicone dildo can feel like a fully-flaccid dick, or like the hardest erection you’ve ever felt, or anywhere in between. Since this is another hugely subjective consideration, here’s a bunch of rapid-fire questions to help you decide:

  • Are you new to dildos, or to penetration in general? If so, a softer toy may be comfier.
  • Do you know that you’re prone to vaginal/anal irritation or pain? If so, a softer toy may be comfier. (And please use a good water-based lube with it.)
  • Have you chosen a dildo size that’s larger than you’re used to? If so, a softer toy may be comfier.
  • Does the design of your dildo feature any irregular/jagged edges, intense ribbed/dotted/veiny texture, and/or stark and non-gradual changes in diameter along the shaft? If so, a softer toy may be comfier.
  • Do you like being penetrated hard/fast/rough? Then you’d probably prefer a firmer toy, especially if you’re seeking to target the G-spot or prostate.
  • Do you find that your orgasms feel better when you have something to squeeze/clench around? If so, you might prefer a firmer toy.
  • Would you describe yourself as a size queen/king/monarch? If so, you might prefer a firmer toy, because they feel bigger/more filling.
  • Do you plan on using the toy in a strap-on harness? If so, you’ll want it to be firm enough that it can stand up on its own, but not so firm that it could hurt someone if you get a little too zealous (especially if you’re a new/inexperienced strap-on top), so a medium firmness is probably best.
  • What fantasies do you plan on pairing with this dildo, if any, and would they be benefited by a particular firmness option?
Image via Juliet Toys

Color

Sex toy aesthetics are a very personal matter; I can’t tell you how to pick a dildo color any more than I can tell you what color to paint your bedroom, because that all depends on you, baby. However, some questions to ask yourself might include:

  • Do I plan on using this dildo in a strap-on at any point, and if so, do I want it to be close to the skin tone of the person who’ll be wearing it?
  • Do I care if this toy matches/looks good with any of my other toys, or my partners’ other toys (perhaps including a strap-on harness, as mentioned)?
  • Do I care if this toy matches/looks good with my bedroom decor?
  • Do I plan on taking any photos or videos that feature this toy, and if so, what color(s) would work best for the lighting and backdrop etc. that I’m envisioning?
  • Do I want a dark-colored toy to conceal any potentially “embarrassing” substances like menstrual blood or fecal matter, should those situations arise? (These can be easily washed off a silicone toy with soap and water, but some people feel uncomfortable at the thought of these substances being visible at all during sex, in which case darker toys may help, similarly to using black latex gloves for anal fingering.)

One more tip on colors: If you ever see a fantasy dildo that has some solid-color options and some gradient/multicolor options, generally the latter are gonna be prettier, not to mention more unique and eye-catching. I’ve never regretted choosing one over a more uniform colorway. (The purple-to-powder-pink fade on this butt plug, for example? Iconic!) Sometimes these are more expensive than single-color toys, however, so keep an eye on the price.

Base Features

Some fantasy dildos can be customized to have a hole in the base, which is compatible with Vac-U-Lock accessories (sold separately). These accessories include things like harnesses, dildo mounts, fucking machines, handles, and suction-cup bases. Even if you don’t plan on using your toy with any Vac-U-Lock accessories, though, you may still want to consider this customization option, because 1) maybe you’ll change your mind down the road, 2) you can jam a small vibrator into the hole for some extra sensation, and 3) using the hole as a “finger hole” (à la bowling ball) can be a more ergonomic way to grip the toy for some users.

I’ve occasionally seen other base options offered, like a suction cup – which is great if you want to use the toy hands-free – or a hole specifically sized to fit a standard bullet vibe. If you’re offered one of these options and you’re unsure whether to go for it, I’d lean yes, because you can’t really make your own hole in the base of the toy if you change your mind later, but it also won’t be disruptive if you end up never using it.

Cum Tube: Y/N?

Not all fantasy toys offer a cum-tube option, but some do, like the Luna squirting dildo. I think you probably already know in your heart whether a cum tube interests you or not; it’s just one of those things! But if you’re on the fence, consider the tube’s practical benefit as well as its aesthetic ones: It can be useful for adding more lube without having to take the dildo all the way out of you.

The way a cum tube looks during use is generally considered its main selling point, though – so if you, your partner(s), and/or your online audience are fond of the sight of an ejaculating cock, it might be worth checking off the cum-tube option when you place your dildo order. There’s also ovipositor dildos, for those of you who prefer a different sort of ejaculation…

 

Fantasy dildo lovers: Anything I missed here? Any crucial considerations that you’d urge newbies to consider before purchasing?

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

In Defense of Sex Dolls (Stigma Be Damned!)

Kate Sloan
Image via this post’s sponsor, Coeros, makers of cool custom sex dolls!

I’ve written quite a few articles about sex dolls and sex robots over the years, so I’ve encountered plenty of anti-sex-doll stigma while researching these products. One common argument, often made by people who are basically well-meaning, goes as follows:

“It’s fine if someone wants to own and use a sex doll, so long as it doesn’t interfere with their ability to form human relationships.”

Today I’m going to go on the record about a hot take of mine: I think it’s fine to use sex dolls even if they do disincentivize you from seeking a relationship – so long as you’re okay with that. Let me explain…

 

Not everyone wants romance or sex!

Yep: asexual and aromantic people might well enjoy a sex doll even if they don’t enjoy dating/fucking actual people. My allo (non-ace/aro) readers may be wondering, “Why would someone want a sex toy, presumably to be used during masturbation, if they’re asexual?!” and the answer is that sexual attraction is different and separate from sexual behavior and sexual desires. For instance, a straight woman might jerk off to lesbian porn sometimes because it focuses primarily on clit stimulation, but that doesn’t negate her heterosexuality – or a gay man might impulsively hook up with a female friend just to ‘try it out,’ and might even have a good time, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s gay.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by a lack of sexual attraction – but many ace people still masturbate and/or have sex. And since there’s a high degree of overlap between the asexual and aromantic communities, it’s entirely plausible that some ace and/or aro people might enjoy using sex dolls and other types of sex toys. These products supply sexual pleasure without the requirement of seeking human connection that may or may not be wanted.

There are also people who don’t identify as ace or aro but are celibate for various reasons – perhaps due to trauma or mental health struggles, or perhaps just as a matter of choice – and those folks could get a lot of value out of sex dolls too. If you’ve been in nonconsensual situations before that made you feel very out of control, for instance, I can see how it could be deeply empowering to get yourself a custom sex doll – you have full control over the doll and how you engage with it, which could be less scary and triggering than sex with a human being.

 

You don’t owe the world a cookie-cutter love story!

As queer, trans, kinky, and polyamorous people already know well, the world is full of harmful myths about what constitutes a ‘healthy’ or ‘acceptable’ relationship. There are infinite different ways to structure and label our relationships – so, although you may be drowning in cultural messages to the contrary, you have no obligation to get into a monogamous, long-term romantic relationship, or any other kind of relationship, for that matter. Your life is yours to design!

As disability and anti-fatness advocates often point out, our society mandates health as a moral good, which is why so many people feel justified in shaming fat folks and disabled folks for not ‘working hard enough’ to meet a particular definition of health. This practice is harmful and wrong-headed, not only because health depends on some factors we have no choice over (like disabilities and genetics), but also because no one is morally obligated to be healthy. Health versus illness is a practical consideration, not an ethical one.

Likewise, there’s nothing intrinsically good or bad about being in a relationship, or not being in a relationship – whether temporarily, or for decades at a time! Don’t get me wrong: humans are social creatures, and if someone lacks any meaningful social connection in their life (including friendships), that’s likely not healthy for them, and I would counsel them to join local hobby/interest-based groups to meet people. But romantic and sexual connection are not requirements for a life well-lived, and don’t let anybody tell you different.

 

Ultimately, it’s just a toy

I think what people tend to forget, when they clutch their pearls about sex toys ‘replacing’ human connection, is that these products simply… don’t replace human connection. A sex doll can’t make you laugh, fascinate you in conversation, or make you feel truly loved. Even as A.I. technologies get better, I don’t foresee humanoid robots ever fully overtaking humans as our preferred sexual partners. Real people are fallible, imaginative, imperfect, and human, and that’s why it’s dynamic and exciting to connect with them. I love knowing that a partner chose to touch me in a specific way because of a combination of their own preferences and their knowledge of my preferences – and I find it tough to believe a robot could ever replicate that, in large part because robots cannot experience desire. (Fight me, philosophy majors. No, seriously, feel free to fight me about this in the comments; I’m curious to hear your take!)

If someone truly feels that all of their romantic and sexual needs (to the extent that they have them) are sated by a sex doll, I’m happy for them! We all should be so lucky as to have our needs abundantly met. And if they find, instead, that something is missing and that they want to continue seeking human connection, I’m happy for them too. The more pleasures you pursue and experience, the closer you get to building your ideal life – by which I mean, the life that is ideal for you, specifically. You’re the only one who gets to decide that.

So no, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with owning a sex doll, even if it does lead to a change in your romantic and sexual priorities. That’s your choice to make, because it’s your life to live – and if you want to live it hand-in-hand (or dick-in-vag) with a sex doll, more power to you. Just make sure, for fuck’s sake, that you clean it properly after every use.

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: BeYourLover Fatima multi-functional detachable toy

Kate Sloan
Please forgive me for all the dust/lint in these photos, I didn’t feel like spending a springtime afternoon hunched over Photoshop 😂

I’ve never seen a toy like the BeYourLover Fatima before. And I’ve been in this business for 13 years (as of last week, in fact!), so that’s really saying something.

In fact, this toy breaks the mold so completely that I need to change up my usual review format, too. This is a multi-functional, detachable toy – it’s practically the Swiss army knife of sex toys! – so I’m going to write about each component of the toy individually, and then about how they all come together in a synergistic symphony. Let’s dive in…

 

One toy, two parts

Picture, if you will, a standard rabbit vibrator – except that the clitoral arm can be detached from the internal arm, so that each component can be used separately if you so desire. That’s the BeYourLover Fatima.

In this case, the clitoral portion of the toy uses pressure-wave technology (à la Womanizer/Satisfyer/Rose toys) rather than vibration. The internal/vaginal part of the toy (which is not anal-safe, FYI) vibrates and also thrusts. (That’s just an overview; more details to come in the sections below.)

Pros of the toy being made up of two detachable parts:

  • When you’re in the mood to, you can use either part of the toy on its own without needing to involve the other one. This is great if, for instance, you like to warm up with some clit stimulation before jumping straight to penetration.
  • That being said, although you can use the toy’s components separately, they are wirelessly connected to one another via Bluetooth, so the clitoral arm can essentially act as a remote control for the internal arm, which makes the toy overall easier to use.
  • Unlike most other dual-stimulation vibrators, this one will fit just about every vulva, regardless of the distance between clit and vaginal opening, because you can always detach the halves from each other.

Cons:

  • The way that the toy’s two parts can be ‘attached’ isn’t particularly secure; I don’t think there’s a magnet or anything else holding it in place, you just kinda jam the clitoral arm into its appointed hole as far as it’ll go and then hope it’ll stay. As you’d expect, it therefore dislodges a fair bit during use, especially when using the toy’s thrusting function – so I mostly ended up holding the clitoral portion in one hand, detached totally from the vaginal arm, which stayed inside me.
  • Naturally, when you’re holding the clitoral arm of the toy in one hand, you lose the ability to use the toy (as a whole) hands-free or one-handed, which sorta defeats the purpose of using a dual-stim toy in the first place.
  • Somewhat egregiously, you have to recharge each part of the toy on its own, as if they were two separate toys. I wish both could be charged at the same time while attached to one another instead.
  • When you turn off one component of the toy, the other component turns off too. You can turn it right back on again if you want to use it on its own, but it’s annoying that this happens at all.

Clit-warming technology

Quick-press the button featuring a thermometer icon on the toy’s clitoral arm and you’ll activate its self-heating function. Supposedly this heats up both the clitoral part and the internal part of the BeYourLover Fatima, although that wasn’t my experience.

Pros:

  • The clitoral heating function works quickly and pretty damn well. It never got too hot for my comfort (supposedly it reaches about 42° Celsius), but felt warm enough to pair well with oral sex fantasies. It was a relaxing sensation, too, like my clit was at a spa!
  • The heating button flashes to let you know when the function is activated, and you can turn it off whenever you reach your desired heat level.

Cons:

  • I wasn’t able to get the vaginal arm to heat up, although it’s supposed to. Only the clitoral heating function worked for me.
  • There doesn’t seem to be an auto-shutoff for the heating function, so theoretically it could overheat if you leave it on for too long, although I didn’t experience that in my testing.

 

Thrusting is a must

The internal arm of the BeYourLover Fatima has a self-thrusting function. It’s only the tip of the toy (2 inches or so) that actually thrusts. There are 2 steady thrusting functions, followed by 5 patterns which are more irregular.

Pros:

  • This thrusting function is unusually quiet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely still audible, but it’s not gratingly loud and mechanical-sounding like many other thrusters.
  • The thrusting feels good and adds to my pleasure, albeit not quite as intensely as I was hoping, for reasons I’ll describe below.

Cons:

  • Two steady speeds is really not enough, especially since the first one is already quite fast. My kingdom for even just one slower speed, so I don’t feel like I’m starting a session with jackhammer-esque speedy pounding. (I’d get back on Tinder if that’s what I wanted!) After the two speeds is a handful of patterns, most of which have too much space between thrusts to be useful as anything more than a frustrating tease.
  • If you try to control the thrusting via the button on the vaginal arm (rather than via the button on the clitoral arm), you have to double-click it every time you want to turn the thrusting function on or change to a different thrusting mode. I kept accidentally either single-clicking it (which engaged vibration instead) or long-pressing it (which turns the entire toy off).
  • I thought this toy was gonna hit my A-spot, but I think its shape and length aren’t quite right for that; it always feels like it’s almost hitting the spot but not quite. Your mileage may vary, since your vag may vary!
  • As with many self-thrusting toys, this one tends to slip out of your vag gradually over time, so you gotta either hold it in place by hand or anchor it there with a pillow or similar between your legs.

…Oh yeah, and it vibrates

The internal arm, that is. I don’t really care about vaginal vibration that much – my internal erogenous zones prefer motion and pressure over vibration – but some people dig it.

Pros:

  • There are 3 steady speeds, which is better than 2. That’s probably the most generous thing I could say here. (There’s also 5 vibration patterns, and as established, I don’t tend to like patterns much.)

Cons:

  • My biggest problem with the BeYourLover Fatima as a whole: If you want to use the thrusting function and the clit-stimulating function at the same time, then you will be forced to also use the vibrating function. There is no way to turn it off, so far as I can tell, without also turning off one or both of the other functions. This is battery-inefficient for those of us who’d rather just feel the thrusting + clit stim, and is particularly frustrating because of my next point:
  • These buzzyish vibrations drown out the subtleties of most other sensations, including the Fatima’s thrusting and especially its delicate pressure-wave clit stim. When I turn up the intensity of the clit portion in hopes of being able to feel it, it turns up the internal vibration too, drowning out the clit stim even more. This is ultimately why the Fatima can’t get me off.
  • The button that controls the toy’s vaginal arm is placed on the very tip of its handle, so I frequently bump it by accident when trying to push the toy deeper, resulting in an unexpected setting change, or sometimes in the toy shutting off altogether. Needless to say, this is irritating and distracting.

 

This thing sucks… your clit

As mentioned, the detachable clitoral arm of the BeYourLover Fatima uses pressure-wave technology, stimulating your clit with rhythmic air-waves. It has 7 modes.

Pros:

  • These pressure waves feel really good! They have a low-pitched ‘rumbliness’ to them that I find much more satisfying than many other air-pulse toys at this price point, which stimulates my clitoral network in super enjoyable ways.
  • The ‘mouth’ of the toy is well-shaped and well-sized, for my clit at least, with a diameter of about 1″. It creates a soft, comfortable seal around my clit when properly lubed, and stimulates more of the clitoral shaft rather than just the tip.
  • All 7 of this clit stimulator’s settings are steady speeds – no patterns to be found here. Hurrah! The gradation from speed to speed is gentle, not jarring.
  • The buttons on the clit stimulator also control the toy’s vaginal arm, if it’s turned on. This is a much easier and more convenient way of cycling through thrusting speeds or vibration speeds without having to move your hand. The buttons are also easy to locate by feel.
  • I like the ergonomic S-shape of this clit stimulator; it’s easy to hold onto and move around as needed. It’s sort of like a sperm-shaped little Satisfyer Penguin.

Cons:

  • Whenever I tried to use the Fatima with its two parts attached to each other, it didn’t maintain suction on my clit very well, because the thrusting action often caused the seal to dislodge. This is a pretty crucial flaw in the toy’s execution. As stated, I tended to use the two components detached from one another instead, for this reason among others.

More than the sum of its parts?

Man, I love when sex toy companies take a big swing, innovation-wise. I’ve never seen another sex toy company attempt anything quite like what BeYourLover has done with the Fatima. But did their gamble pay off?

Overall pros:

  • It is genuinely cool to have a toy that does so many things, and even does some of them well! With all the different configurations in which you could use this toy, it’s like having a few different toys in your arsenal for the price of one. That price, by the way, is currently $69.99, which I think is fair for what you get: a self-heating pressure-wave clit stimulator that acts as a remote control for a vibrating vaginal thruster.
  • The clitoral stimulation the Fatima offers is delightfully rumbly and pleasurable, with a nice variety of 7 speeds to choose from.
  • Being able to use one toy as a remote control for the other is really clever, and makes it so that using this toy feels like an integrated experience even when the parts are detached from one another.
  • It’s IPX7 waterproof! Yay!

Overall cons:

  • The toy’s vibration, which cannot be disengaged while other functions are engaged, drowns out a lot of the pleasure that those functions could otherwise provide. As a result, I was only able to get off with the Fatima if I either used the clit stimulator by itself (so I could actually feel it), or used the thrusting function by itself while using a different vibe on my clit.
  • It makes sense that this toy has a battery life of only about an hour, given its numerous power-hungry functions – but that’s aggravatingly short nonetheless, and one wonders if the toy would have a better battery life if its vibration function was separable from its other functions. It’s also annoying and inconvenient that each component of the toy has to be recharged separately.
  • The way the toy’s two components attach just isn’t secure enough, which results in mishaps like the clit stimulator losing suction or falling off altogether.

The Fatima is a thrillingly unique toy, and I’m sure it’ll make some folks very happy. But as for me, it mostly made me happy insofar as it’s a fascinatingly inventive design that could be an indicator of where sex toy technology is headed. 👀

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.