UGHHH! I hate having BV. I really, really do. I was chatting to my boyfriend about it and started to say, “It is truly one of the worst things that can happen to a vagina,” but then I started thinking about the things that humans do to vaginas (which I can’t go into without a trigger warning) and realized that the things our own bodies do to our vaginas are perhaps not that bad after all.
However. To borrow a gross turn of phrase, bacterial vaginosis sucks donkey balls. And I recently cured myself of it (for the time being?!) with at-home remedies rather than seeing my doctor for antibiotics, so I thought I’d write up a little guide for you lovely people about how you can do that too.
Disclaimer: I am not, in any way, a medical professional. All the advice in this post was gathered from online sources and my own experiments. Use this information at your own risk!
First of all… What the hell is BV?
It’s essentially the result of a bacterial imbalance in the vagina. The good bacteria, which naturally produce hydrogen peroxide to keep the vaginal environment healthfully acidic, lose some kind of battle (see below for ways that this may happen) and then the bad bacteria overpower your poor innocent vagina, wreaking havoc and making your pussy miserable.
You may have BV if…
• You’re experiencing typical symptoms of a urinary tract infection (a burning sensation when you pee, and the persistent feeling of needing to pee) but typical UTI cures aren’t helping.
• Your vaginal discharge smells different – fishy and strong, but not bread-like (that would be a yeast infection, which I can’t advise you on because I’ve never had one).
• It hurts a lot more than usual to be vaginally penetrated. This is often a burning pain.
• Your vagina feels generally sore and unhappy.
What causes BV? Well, anything that causes a bacterial imbalance in the vagina. This may include…
• Wearing underwear, pants, or other lower-body clothing that is too tight and restrictive. Prevent this by wearing looser-fitting clothes on your bottom half, and switching to 100% cotton underwear.
• Getting fecal bacteria in the vagina. Yecch. Always wipe from front to back, don’t wear thongs, and don’t let anything touch your vagina/vulva that’s recently been near an ass.
• Washing your vagina with soap. Some people can handle mild soaps; others can’t handle any at all. Please remember that the vagina is self-cleaning so all you need to do is rinse it with water and a washcloth.
• Leaving an object in your vagina for too long. This could be a menstrual cup, a set of kegel balls, or anything else that gets held in your vag for more than a few hours at a time. You need to take that shit out and wash it every few hours or bacteria will accumulate on it and fuck up your natural chemistry.
• Putting a dirty object or substance inside your vagina. This should be an obvious one. Keep your sex toys clean, don’t use shitty porous sex toys, don’t have sex with anyone who looks like they were recently rolling around in a pigsty, don’t use saliva as lube, and wash your hands before you do any fingerfucking.
• Plain bad luck. Some people are chronic BV sufferers for mysterious reasons. The above precautions may help, as can changing your diet and overall lifestyle, but there are some unknown factors at play for some people.
How do you cure it?
From what I’ve been reading online, it looks like there are 3 basic steps to fixing your vagina when it’s been hit with BV.
1. Kill off the bad bacteria.
2. Re-acidify the vagina.
3. Re-populate with good bacteria.
You will need…
• Hydrogen peroxide. I used a 3% concentration and that worked fine, though if your vagina is very sore and sensitive, you may want to dilute it with water.
• A syringe (the kind used for administering liquid medication to children) or another tool for getting liquid into your vagina, such as an empty/clean douche or even a turkey baster (again, please make sure it’s CLEAN).
• Acidophilus capsules. These should contain at least 10 million active colony-forming cultures of acidophilus, ideally more (I used one that contains 0.4 billion). It can be hard to find capsules that contain just acidophilus; it’s okay if these have other kinds of probiotics in them, as long as they don’t contain any weird additives like sugar, dye, or cranberry extract.
• Apple cider vinegar. (By my estimation, this is optional, though you can spring for it if you want to be really thorough.)
Here’s how to do it:
1. Douche with hydrogen peroxide. This kills off the bad bacteria and helps to balance the vagina’s pH. Use the syringe to insert about two tablespoons. Lie on your back and leave it in for about 3 minutes. It may sting a bit. If this is truly painful, dilute the hydrogen peroxide next time.
2. Then, douche with apple cider vinegar. This re-acidifies the vagina. I’m not convinced that this step is necessary, as I feel that the hydrogen peroxide does some re-acidifying as well – plus, vinegar burns like a bitch. If you decide to do this, I strongly recommend that you dilute the vinegar at least 2:1, or even just pour some into your bathwater instead.
3. Before bed, insert an acidophilus capsule. Cut it open or make some holes in it, so that the powder inside can get out. Shove it up as far as you can, so it’ll stay in all night. If it doesn’t come out on its own the next day, you should remove it yourself (I’ve been using my Fun Wand!).
4. Repeat every day until your symptoms are gone. This isn’t like a prescription medication; you shouldn’t continue to do it “just for good measure” if your symptoms are already gone, or you risk over-acidifying your vag, which can lead to its own host of problems. Try to leave at least a couple of hours between the douches and the capsule, so you won’t overload your poor vag.
This worked for me and apparently it’s been successful for others. What home remedies do you use for vaginal issues?
