Beauty & Fashion

12 Days of Girly Juice 2019: 12 Femme Essentials

Kate Sloan

Hello! Today kicks off 12 Days of Girly Juice, my annual year-end wrap-up series where I highlight everything that captured my attention most all year, from songs to events to sex sessions. The first instalment of the series is always about my 12 favorite fashion and beauty items of the year – so here we go!

Keith Haring limited-edition Coach Rogue bag

This was one of my anniversary presents from my partner mb last year; I had tweeted about it many months earlier and I guess they made a note of that! The entire collaboration collection between Coach and Keith Haring was very up my alley – lots of pinks and blues, graphical hearts, and sequins – but this piece, in particular, really called to me. “You needed to own it,” mb told me later.

This bag is made of ultra-supple blue leather, and is roomy enough for the books and journals I like to cart around with me (though tragically, not my laptop). It has a paler blue heart on the outside, made of – get this – leather sequins. The entire thing is so thoughtfully constructed, and it’s one of the most unique pieces I own. I look forward to carrying it for many years to come!

Velvet

This year I examined the possibility that I might have a mild velvet fetish – based on the fact that whenever I went shopping, I was unavoidably drawn to velvet items, and often felt quite sexy wearing them or even just touching them. Later I was invited to submit a story to an erotica anthology on the topic of queer women’s fashion, and what I ended up writing was an XXXplicit XXXploration of velvet fetishism. By the end of that writing process, I was like, “Yup. Probably into velvet.”

Some of my fave velvet items this year were the simplest: a couple of Christmasy A-line dresses in red and green, a pink slip dress with lacy edges, a deep V-neck crop top in rich raspberry. I think my all-time favorite velvet item, though, is a purple blazer I thrifted in high school, which has since been lost to time. One day I’ll find another one!

The Ordinary skincare

I’ve always liked simple skincare products the best. CeraVe and Cetaphil are my jam, with an occasional Lush product thrown in there. So I don’t know why it took me so long to get around to trying stuff from The Ordinary, which is known for its super stripped-down products, but I’m glad I finally did.

With the addition of their glycolic acid toner, squalane, rose hip seed oil, “Buffet” serum, and salicylic acid masque to my routine, my skin looks better than it has in a whiiiile. Yay!

Pink cardigan

At some point this year I misplaced my favorite old hot pink cardigan from H&M, and it immediately became obvious how central this garment was to my personal style. So, with my partner’s adorable encouragement, I replaced it with a basic one from Amazon and it’s remained a cornerstone of my look.

Kate Spade Holiday Lane Page bag

I bought this structured black leather tote to be my new go-to carry-on bag when I travel, because my old one was falling apart, and so far it has served me very well. It’s roomy enough for all the shit I tend to take with me on planes – laptop, journal, Kindle, gum, wallet, headphones, meds, Kleenex, lipstick, passport, an occasional silly neck pillow – and it also looks sleek and professional and Businesslady Chic.

People sometimes ask me for travel tips, since I do a lot more of it now, being in a long-distance relationship – and one of the best I can offer is this: establish travel routines that you find comfortingly familiar. I always take the same route to the airport, always wear some variation of the same outfit, always prepare and pack in the exact same way. Having a reliably good carry-on bag is an important part of that routine for me – it contains everything I need to get me through the anxiety-provoking process that is travel. It’s not just a purse, it’s a lifeline!

Lickability T-shirt

This is a weird thing to include, because it’s not girly or fancy or remarkable, but: my partner gifted me a T-shirt bearing the logo of their company, and I wear it a lot. It feels like the grown-up, millennial equivalent of sporting your partner’s letterman jacket (or, um, leatherenby jacket) – it’s a reminder that I’m loved. It’s also very fucking soft, and goes with everything. Score.

NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer

Y’know, sometimes you gotta shout out the unsung heroes. I’ve been using this concealer all year to cover an unidentified red spot that’s sprung up between my eyebrows (is it psoriasis? Is it sebhorreic dermatitis? It’s one thing for sure: resistant to my medicated creams for both of those conditions, ugh!!). The vanilla shade, which I use, also has a slight yellowish hue which – on my skin tone – works well for concealing purplish under-eye circles. The formula is creamy enough that it doesn’t get crusty and gross-looking like so many other concealers do, and it stays put pretty well, especially under powder. I’ve pretty much stopped wearing foundation, but concealer is a must-have for helping me feel cute, which is (for me) basically the point of wearing makeup.

L’Oreal lipstick in “Devil’s Matte-vocate Red”

This one was a real sleeper hit for me… My mom brought this lipstick back for me on a whim after a New York jaunt, and I wasn’t expecting to love it, but I do! It’s a rich shade of ruby red that just works. It stays on longer and more evenly than lots of more expensive reds I’ve worn, and I feel cute as heck in it.

Sugarpill lipstick in “Girl Crush”

I’ve previously written about the liquid version of this lipstick, but the standard version has been a major fave this year. It’s one of the best cool-toned hot pinks I’ve ever found, along with previous faves, NARS Schiap and Bourjois Pink Pong. Plus the packaging is legendarily cute and the formula is decently long-lasting without being drying. Sugarpill really knows their shit.

High-waisted jeans

I used to think this style was unflattering on pear-shaped people like me. That might be true – I don’t really know – but I’ve reached a point where I don’t give a shit. I have a pair of high-waisted jeans from Madewell and one from the Gap, and I feel super cute, curvy, and babely in them. When I tuck a shirt into them, I feel more put-together than I usually do in jeans, which helps them feel more in line with my polished femme aesthetic (I’ve previously had trouble wearing jeans because they made me feel sloppy and boyish, which is… not my gender). All hail good, flattering denim!

Black and silver dress

I forget when I even bought this slinky dress from H&M, but it’s very much a fave. I’ve worn it to dinners, drinks, shows, and even a wedding. It feels sexy and fancy, but is also incredibly comfortable (an important consideration for someone with chronic pain and depression!). I can throw it on over a black lacy bralette and a pair of tights and I look like I put serious consideration into my outfit. Ideal.

Cute phone cases

It’s 2019, so your phone case is more a part of your outfit than ever before. In an age of mirror selfies, this shit matters! I had a super sparkly rhinestoned one from BlingsSupplyShop earlier in the year, and then got tired of leaving a trail of rhinestones in my wake everywhere I went, so I switched to a “Sick Sad Girl” case from LookHuman (it’s a Daria reference). It gets compliments nonstop and makes me happy, which is all you can really ask for.

 

Those were my fashion and beauty faves this year! What were yours?

5 Types of Lingerie to Incorporate Into Regular Outfits

Kate Sloan

Lingerie, like manicures and 9-step skincare routines, is one of those things I’ve always wished I was more into than I actually am. It seems like an important hallmark of a certain type of femme presentation, one I long to embody but just can’t be bothered to pursue most of the time. After all, lingerie is expensive, sometimes cumbersome, and not even guaranteed to be seen by many people – so when I have a little spare cash to spend on feminine treats, usually I’ll go for a new dress or lipstick in lieu of a new bustier or garter belt.

That said, I’ve read a couple of articles lately on incorporating sexy-wear into your everyday ensembles – this one by Rae and this one by Cora – and it got me thinking about the few types of lingerie I do like to wear, often outside the confines of my bedroom (scandalous!). Here are some of them…

Slips

I love slips, and their closely related cousins, babydolls and chemises. Not all of them are long enough – or opaque enough – to don as outerwear, but when I find one that is, I immediately start plotting outfits.

As you can see in these photos, you can wear a slip in various different ways to make it look like a dress, a skirt, or a shirt, depending on what you layer over top of it. It can appear casual with a T-shirt thrown over it, or you can emphasize the ornate formality of a lacy slip by pairing it with tights and heels. A cardigan is a good happy medium between the two: it “dresses down” your slip a little, so you don’t look like the weirdo who showed up to a frat party in fine silks (although: you do you!).

I particularly like to wear slips in the summer, when “real clothes” can feel oppressively excessive. They can look like a fully thought-out outfit when worn with ballet flats and maybe a coordinating hair accessory, but they’re actually super easy and quick to put on, and comfortable enough to wear all day.

One tip: since slips are intended to be underwear, they don’t always conceal stuff like nipples and panty lines very effectively. For this reason, you might want to layer an additional slip or half-slip underneath, or a bodysuit.

Bodysuits

Speak of the devil… There are tons of gorgeous bodysuits in the world that are only supposed to be worn behind closed doors. Fuck that! If a piece of clothing I own is beautiful, I want to wear it outside, dammit. It’s just a matter of figuring out how to make these items more appropriate for public wear.

My favorite way to do this is to tuck a pretty bodysuit into a high-waisted skirt or a pair of jeans. You’ll probably want to wear a bra or bralette underneath to prevent flashing people, and this admittedly isn’t an appropriate type of outfit for, say, a church service or your grandmother’s potluck luncheon, but it’s a super eye-catching style that makes me feel like a total babe.

Pro tip: when shopping online for lingerie you intend to wear outdoors, always check out the loungewear section first. In my experience, it tends to contain the most street-appropriate bodysuits, camisoles, slips and chemises you’ll find anywhere on the site.

Bikini tops

I think I originally picked this up from teen magazines in my youth and it’s never really left me… If you’re wearing a high-waisted garment on your bottom half, and don’t mind showing some skin, you can get away with wearing a bikini top as a sort of abbreviated crop top. It’s not the most mature or sophisticated look – it makes me feel like a blonde PacSun model circa 2003 – but it works for some casual summery occasions.

If subtlety is more your style, you can also wear a bikini top under a dress or shirt, like a bra (see the rightmost outfit pictured). They usually peek out a little bit, offering a visually appealing flash of color or sparkle, and giving you the air of someone who’s ready for beach adventures at a moment’s notice. Of course, if you do intend on dropping by a beach/lake/pool/whatever, it’s nice to be prepared in the chicest way possible.

Garter belts and stockings

These are usually too finicky for me to bother with, but it’s nice to have them in your toolkit for when you want to feel really sexy and fancy. While currently mostly relegated to the sphere of the bedroom, garter belts and stockings used to be daily-wear items for women in the mid-century and beyond. They add some timeless panache to your ensemble when they peek out the bottom of a skirt or dress.

If a garter belt is too much work for you (and I truly don’t blame you), look for “stay-up” or “hold-up” stockings, which usually have some kind of sticky material on the inside of the cuff to keep them from sliding down your thighs. Genius!

Corsets and bustiers

I wore these in high school when I would go to see Rocky Horror, and they were the ideal thing, styled with shiny skirts, high-heeled boots, and ever-present fishnet tights. But let’s face it: that’s not exactly office attire.

A beautiful corset or bustier under a blazer might be, though, especially if you’re also wearing an elegant skirt or pair of pants, plus ideally heels. A lot of high-end fashion houses have even pulled inspiration from the realms of lingerie and fetishwear in recent years (and, well, recent decades), so – depending on your field – it may not be that weird for your outfit to contain a pop of lace or silk or corsetry. You might even look like the most fashionable person there!

Do you like to incorporate lingerie items into your everyday outfits? How do you do it?

 

This post was sponsored by the fine folks at Honey Gifts, which has a robust lingerie section containing all sorts of lovely and luxurious items!

How to Look Like a Sex Doll

Kate Sloan

Being a sex doll is a recurrent fantasy for me. It’s hard to say whether I would actually like it – I haven’t tried pretending to be a doll in a scene yet – but it definitely holds some appeal. Being blank-brained and helpless while someone (consensually) handles and uses my body for their pleasure? Yes please.

That said, it’s possible a large part of my excitement about this fantasy really centers on the beauty and fashion aspects of it. What can I say; I’m a femme! I pored over the beautiful babes on Joy Love Dolls to figure out the best ways to make yourself look like a sex doll, if that’s something you want to do for kink reasons or just for fun, and here’s what I came up with…

Preparation

While obviously it’s not required for fulfilling this fantasy, because you and your partner can both suspend your disbelief a little, it could be fun to shave or wax large swathes of your body to play the role of a sex doll. They’re almost always hairless from the neck down, after all. Afterward, exfoliate the hell out of everything, with a body scrub or a dry brush, and then moisturize. That way your skin will be as smooth and uniform as it can be.

The skin on your face could use some love, too. A scrubby clay mask (like the rose clay mask from Origins) would be my go-to if I was prepping for a dollification scene, because it’ll gently exfoliate your skin while pulling some of the gunk out of your pores, leaving a smoother surface that’ll look slightly more like TPE or whatever sex dolls are made of. Don’t forget to moisturize!

Makeup

When sex doll designers aren’t opting for the youthful “natural look” (which, let’s face it, is boring for the purposes of this article), they tend to give their dolls lots and lots of eyeliner. You can smudge it for a sexy, rock-star vibe, or keep it precise if you prefer. It’s usually black or dark brown and goes all the way around the eye, sometimes with a winged flick at the outer corner. This serves to emphasize the eyes, one of a sex doll’s most prominent facial features. If you want to make your eyes look extra big and wide, you could run a white or pale skin-colored eyeliner pencil over your waterline (though I, admittedly, am too squeamish to do this because it feels like sticking an eyeliner pencil directly into my eye). Lots of mascara is also crucial.

As for the mouth: sex dolls usually have big, full, pouting lips. You can use mildly lip-irritating plumpers like Lip Venom to achieve this effect, or you can fake it by blending a lighter-colored lipstick onto the center of your lips on top of whatever other lipstick you’re using. This creates the illusion of fuller lips and is famously a trick that Marilyn Monroe’s makeup artist used on her (and if she isn’t an aspirational icon for sex dolls everywhere, then who is?!). Many sex dolls wear a lipstick shade that’s fairly natural and low-key, but you could also go with a bright pink or purple if you want to be bolder. In any case, a shiny gloss on top is a must.

The rest of your face is less important than those two major features, but you can still increase your “dollishness” quotient by doing a full face of foundation and concealer to even out your skin tone so it looks vaguely plasticky. Make sure to set these products with powder – sex dolls’ skin is almost always matte. Some subtle, well-blended blush on the apples of your cheeks completes the look.

A note for all the makeup you choose: assuming you’re not pursuing a smudgy look for kink reasons (some people love to see mascara streaks on a teary-eyed submissive’s cheeks, for example), you should choose products that are waterproof and rated well for longevity. (Look at reviews on the Sephora website or MakeupAlley for this.) Dolls’ makeup is firmly painted on and unlikely to flake or smear, so yours should be, too!

Hair

If you only need to look like a sex doll (say, for photos) and don’t plan on being touched/fucked/manhandled like one, a wig is the obvious route to take. Long blonde hair is a popular choice, but there are a million wig options out there waiting to be explored.

If, however, you plan on being “used” when you’re a doll, a wig probably won’t cut it, because your “user” might want to pull your hair. Wear your real hair down, or in pigtails if it’s long enough; those are the two easiest styles to pull on. (Securing the pigtails with cute, colorful hair ties is a nice touch, particularly if you’re going for a youthful look.)

Clothes

It goes without saying that most sex dolls are probably mostly naked most of the time. That’s fine if your dollification scene will be limited to your bedroom, but if you plan on going out first (or even starting the scene with some kind of seduction/warm-up), you’ll probably want to be wearing something.

Some popular choices for sex-doll clothes include shiny bikinis, tight cropped T-shirts, miniskirts, tiny shorts, matching lingerie sets, and low-cut form-fitting dresses. It’s best to wear something that another person could easily remove from your body without your cooperation, since you might want to remain perfectly still as part of the fun of a dollification scene. So, tight jeans and restrictive dresses are probably a no-go, unless your partner wants a challenge!

Most sex dolls are remarkably busty. If you want to beef up your boobs (so to speak), you could wear a padded bra under whatever else you’re wearing. By the same token, some shapewear can help give you the hourglassy shape sex dolls are known for, but it can be hard to remove and doesn’t always look sexy once all your other layers of clothing have come off, so keep that in mind when selecting your ensemble.

A lot of sex dolls are barefoot, but if your partner likes heels, boots, or some other specific type of footwear, you might as well give it a shot. Knee-high or thigh-high socks can also amp up a playful, girlish aesthetic if that’s what you’re going for.

Facial expression and behavior

The way you act and move when you’re in sex-doll mode really depends on what you’re hoping to get out of your scene, but generally, you’re probably gonna wanna be blank-faced and stationary. Practice letting your eyes “zone out” the way they do when you stare out the window of a moving vehicle, say, or when your mind wanders while you’re standing in line somewhere. (Not to be too much of a hypnokink evangelical, but staring at a gif of a spiral can help you unfocus your eyes in the sexy, mindless way we’re talking about.) You don’t wanna look bored, so keep your eyes open wide for the most part, but just soften your gaze a little.

As for the rest of your body, traditionally sex dolls are rigid and posable. Your partner doesn’t have to manipulate your whole body weight every time they want to move you around – you can agree beforehand that you’ll help them out when they move you, so long as it doesn’t ruin the illusion for either of you.

 

How would you attire yourself if you planned on doing a dollification scene? Or, alternatively: if you were going to fuck someone who was pretending to be a sex doll, what would you want them to look like?

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

27 Great Things to Own Before You Turn 27

Kate Sloan

I’m turning 27 tomorrow. Weird. I’m decidedly entering my “late twenties,” which feels a little shocking – I still think of myself as essentially a baby, still figuring out how to “adult.” A lot of that is due to mental illness having held me back longer than I’d prefer from typical milestones, and some of it is due to the overall trend of millennials taking longer to move out, get “real” jobs, etc. because of the world’s economic situation right now. But it still feels strange to be turning an age that feels decidedly grown-up without indeed feeling that I’ve grown up.

However, in thinking about it, I do have a whole lot of things that I believe I “ought to” have by this age. These absolutely aren’t prescriptive, and I think no less of you if you don’t have them. But they make me feel more assured in my adulthood, and they might be a useful checklist if you, too, are looking for ways to reassure yourself of your continual grown-upness.

1. A well-worn copy of your favorite book. Is it dog-eared? Have you underlined your favorite passages in pen and scrawled responses in the margins? Have you lent it out to at least three friends? Then it just might be your favorite book.

2. A good selfie mirror. Look, it’s 2019; we have to think about these things. A good full-length selfie mirror was one of the first items I bought for my new apartment when I moved out, and I’ve been glad every day since that I made that decision!

3. Several worthy role models. People who, when you’re stuck or scared, you can ask yourself, “What would ____ do?” Personally, I think my biggest one right now is Alexandra Franzen.

4. Playlists for getting pumped up and for winding down. Music is a major part of the texture of your life, and it can have a huge effect on your mood!

5. A place you can go when you need to be alone. I would tell you about mine, but that would be self-defeating…

6. A signature scent. This one’s tricky because of scent sensitivities and such – but even if you only put on your fave fragrance in the company of you and your beloved, or alone in your bedroom, it’s nice to have a comforting scent that really feels like You. Mine is Aimanté, the perfume my boyfriend had custom-made for me by Brooklyn perfumer Stephen Dirkes, and it still makes me swoon, more than a year into owning it and wearing it regularly.

7. A signature lipstick. For fans of wearing lipstick, there are fewer experiences more gratifying than finally finding one that suits you to a T. It makes your face light up (both for color theory reasons and for pure delight reasons), it coordinates with your fave outfits and accessories, its finish and formulation work for your lifestyle, and even the packaging sparks joy for you. Some of mine: “Violet” by Bite Beauty, “Lucky Red” by Armani, and “Midnight Rose” by Lancôme.

8. A few really good handbags. Okay, ignore me if you’re not a purse person – in which case, I salute you and your bulging pockets – but cute bags are one of the most fun parts of outfit assembly! I have a few I love by Coach, Kate Spade, and mid-century companies whose names have been lost to time, and they serve me very well.

9. A beautiful pen. For signing receipts with a flourish, writing thank-you notes on the fly, and scrawling your phone number on cute people’s arms, of course. My partner, a dyed-in-the-wool pen nerd, recommends JetPens – which is where I picked up my Retro 51 Tornado, the prettiest pen I’ve ever owned.

10. A distinctive and practiced signature. See above. I still haven’t perfected mine. I think there are few things classier than a lovely signature.

11. A job title that makes you feel important, even if you have to make it up and give it to yourself. Look, even if you’re a “sales associate” or a “customer service representative” at your dayjob, you can be the CEO, Editrix-in-Chief, or Creative Director of your side hustle!

12. Treasured nicknames/pet names. Both ones other people have given you and ones you’ve given to other people. This is a type of relational currency and is one of my favorite tiny ways to give and receive affection. (Three of the closest people in my life are “bean,” “bruddy,” and “beeb” – and some of my nearest and dearest call me “Sloany” and “little one.” Swoon!)

13. An idea of what you want to achieve in the next 5 years. You should have a list written down somewhere, even if the items on it seem outlandish and implausible. You’ll probably be amazed at your progress when you look back at it in a few years!

14. A manicurist, hairdresser, waxer, shoeshine, etc. who you would trust with your life. These professions are immensely honorable, in no small part because they have to carefully handle things which are either very susceptible to damage or very important to you or both. Having a service provider on speed-dial can give you so much peace of mind.

15. A go-to local bar or café, and a regular order there. These places are critical to my sanity (such as it is) – they are somewhere I can go when I don’t want to be alone but I can’t quite handle actual social plans. They can also be great settings for those social plans, if and when you’re so inclined. It’s such a comfort having a place where, as they say, “everybody knows your name.”

16. A list of qualities you require in every romantic partner, and one of qualities that would disqualify a person from consideration. (Replace with “friend” if you’re not looking for a romantic partner.) Personal boundaries are a crucial skill to learn as you grow older; good ones can transform your life. Somewhere around 27 is the age I figure I should stop wasting my time on fuckboys, brutes, and clods, and focus my energies exclusively on kind-hearted charmers.

17. Sexy-as-fuck pictures of yourself. Hire a pin-up photographer, enlist a partner, or just set up a tripod and a remote and take ’em yourself. You deserve to have a record of how gorgeous you are!

18. A chequing account, a savings account, and perhaps a credit card. Boring but true.

19. Good glassware. This is a small thing which can feel huge. I feel so much more settled in my home life now that I have a few decent old-fashioned glasses and big water glasses. A set of 4 cost me about $10 at a dollar store. Brilliant.

20. A nice set of towels. These are a fairly recent acquisition for me; previously I was rotating between a couple of cheap beach towels, but my boyfriend (rightfully) insisted I upgrade to something more adult. I was not prepared for how much more luxurious my life would feel once it had big fluffy towels in it!

21. Bedding that makes you happy. Unless you’re a significant outlier in terms of your lifestyle, you likely spend a lot of time in or around your bed. It might as well look and feel like a nice place to be!

22. At least a handful of excellent sex toys (provided, of course, that sex and/or masturbation are things you desire and enjoy). You don’t need to have a zillion like I do, but you should at least have enough to suit your needs. I tend to think almost everybody needs, at the very least, a vibrator, an insertable, and some kind of fun kink tool (e.g. nipple clamps, a paddle, some under-the-bed restraints).

23. Lube that works well for your body. If you have no idea where to begin, just buy a bottle of Sliquid Sassy (best for vaginas and butts) or Uberlube (best for vulvas, vaginas, and penises) and put it on your nightstand. Trust me, if you’ve never used lube regularly but you make yourself start, you’ll be amazed at what a difference it makes.

24. Exquisite loungewear/pajamas. Another thing that seems small but makes a huge difference. I’m ride-or-die for MeUndies lounge pants.

25. An archive of love letters. If you’ve never received any, then offer to exchange some with your friends!

26. A well-stocked medicine cabinet. A practical (a.k.a. boring) suggestion, but there you go. You probably need, at minimum, painkillers, nausea meds, cold and flu meds, Band-Aids, rubbing alcohol, Pepto-Bismol, and perhaps some vitamins.

27. A stress management toolbox. I don’t mean a literal box, although you could go that route. No, I mean a series of functional coping strategies you can call upon when times are tough. A journaling habit, a CBT workbook, an exercise routine, good friends to talk to, a soothing self-care ritual… All of these could be useful to have in place when stress comes a-knockin’.

 

What did you consider important to acquire or achieve before age 27?

Review: Honour Latex Skater Skirt

Kate Sloan

Wearing latex is one of many sartorial rites of passage for kinksters. If you want to flag as kinky with your outfit alone, you can pretty much wear latex (if you’re not allergic), leather (if you’re not vegan), or perhaps velvet (if you’re… me). Stretchy, shiny, skin-tight, and restrictive, latex oozes kink in the realms of both the visual and the tactile. When I see someone dressed in latex, I think, “That person’s a perv,” or maybe “That person’s a goth/punk/weirdo,” but I never once think, “Wow, that person seems totally conventional and vanilla.”

My first clear memory of latex clothing is the sexy nun costume my heroine Gala Darling wore for Halloween in 2008. Prior to reading her post about it, I had no idea that latex was so fussy: wearing it was “an arduous process, involving lots of baby powder… crazy shimmying antics… and rubbing the entire thing with liquid silicon to make it shiny,” she wrote. “It also feels like you’re wearing a swimming cap. And it makes a funny noise when you walk.”

Gala’s right that latex clothing is annoying to wear, and even just to own. Here’s a condensed version of the Holy Commandments of Latex Fetishwear (more info here):

  • Thou shalt wriggle into your latex with the help of silicone-based lube and/or talc powder.
  • Thou shalt not pull on or stretch the latex too much, lest thou fuck up its shape.
  • Thou shalt certainly not wear any sharp objects that could puncture or tear the latex, like rings, rhinestones, or even long nails.
  • Thou shalt not get any oils on your latex, including moisturizer, self-tanner, or even the small amount of oil that might seep out of leather.
  • Thou shalt NEVER FUCKING EVER put your latex in the washing machine; plain water in the sink is fine, or perhaps a small amount of soap if you spilled something on it.

In addition to all that, it’s usually recommended that you grease up the outside of your latex clothing with silicone-based lube to give it that signature shine, and that you skip underwear when wearing it because the shape will show through. And you have to be prepared to sweat, a lot, because latex doesn’t breathe. So. As I’m sure you’ve ascertained, this is a totally breezy and low-maintenance material to wear. *rimshot*

Nonetheless, I was excited when Honour Clothing offered to send me my dream latex item, a black skater skirt. Being fit-and-flare rather than body-hugging, this garment manages to avoid a lot of the most annoying things about latex, like the no-underwear thing and the oh-dear-god-I-can’t-stop-sweating thing and the how-the-fuck-do-I-get-this-onto-my-body thing. It seemed like a good introduction to this material, so I could see whether I liked it before considering buying more elaborate pieces. (This unbelievably sexy dress, for example.)

The thing that most surprised me about this skirt, when I first took it out of the packaging, was the way it smelled. It was – and still is, honestly – an onslaught on my nose, akin to someone opening a condom right in front of your face. While condoms are certainly a sexually nostalgic scent for me, I don’t know that I want to walk around smelling like one, you know?

I requested this skirt in size 2XL, because that seemed like the best fit for my measurements based on the on-site size chart, but I could have gone a little smaller. An XL probably would have clung to my 5’4″, 153-lb, size-12 frame a little better.

Aesthetically, I love it. It looks perfect with colorful crop tops and bralettes. The flirty shape twirls outward when I spin, sways when I walk, and makes me feel like an absolute vixen. It’s short, but not so short that I feel self-conscious in it – it lets my thigh tattoos peek out without also showing my ass. It’s not the sort of thing I would wear to, say, a family gathering or a church function, but for events where a little fetish flair is called for, it’s ideal. I like that it’s obviously BDSM-inspired while lacking the hard, severe aesthetic you see in most femdom fashion, because I am a softgirl at heart.

Sweetly and thoughtfully, Honour sent bottles of Skin Two Serum and Liquid Shine along with the skirt. The former is a dressing aid, to help you slide a latex garment onto your body more easily, and the latter is a spray-on liquid meant to bring out the shine of your latex. I couldn’t find ingredients lists for these anywhere, but as far as I can tell from reading latex kinksters’ how-to guides on the subject, silicone-based lube works just fine for both purposes. It is convenient to be able to spray the Liquid Shine directly onto my skirt, though.

Overall, my foray into latex clothing was a success! Aside from a sweaty waist and a nose full o’ condom smell, I’ve found no downsides of owning and wearing this latex skater skirt. It’s all fetishy sexiness, all the time.

 

Thanks so much to Honour Clothing for sending me this skirt to review! Check out their wide selection of latex clothing.