Beauty & Fashion

How to Look Like a Sex Doll

Kate Sloan

Being a sex doll is a recurrent fantasy for me. It’s hard to say whether I would actually like it – I haven’t tried pretending to be a doll in a scene yet – but it definitely holds some appeal. Being blank-brained and helpless while someone (consensually) handles and uses my body for their pleasure? Yes please.

That said, it’s possible a large part of my excitement about this fantasy really centers on the beauty and fashion aspects of it. What can I say; I’m a femme! I pored over the beautiful babes on Joy Love Dolls to figure out the best ways to make yourself look like a sex doll, if that’s something you want to do for kink reasons or just for fun, and here’s what I came up with…

Preparation

While obviously it’s not required for fulfilling this fantasy, because you and your partner can both suspend your disbelief a little, it could be fun to shave or wax large swathes of your body to play the role of a sex doll. They’re almost always hairless from the neck down, after all. Afterward, exfoliate the hell out of everything, with a body scrub or a dry brush, and then moisturize. That way your skin will be as smooth and uniform as it can be.

The skin on your face could use some love, too. A scrubby clay mask (like the rose clay mask from Origins) would be my go-to if I was prepping for a dollification scene, because it’ll gently exfoliate your skin while pulling some of the gunk out of your pores, leaving a smoother surface that’ll look slightly more like TPE or whatever sex dolls are made of. Don’t forget to moisturize!

Makeup

When sex doll designers aren’t opting for the youthful “natural look” (which, let’s face it, is boring for the purposes of this article), they tend to give their dolls lots and lots of eyeliner. You can smudge it for a sexy, rock-star vibe, or keep it precise if you prefer. It’s usually black or dark brown and goes all the way around the eye, sometimes with a winged flick at the outer corner. This serves to emphasize the eyes, one of a sex doll’s most prominent facial features. If you want to make your eyes look extra big and wide, you could run a white or pale skin-colored eyeliner pencil over your waterline (though I, admittedly, am too squeamish to do this because it feels like sticking an eyeliner pencil directly into my eye). Lots of mascara is also crucial.

As for the mouth: sex dolls usually have big, full, pouting lips. You can use mildly lip-irritating plumpers like Lip Venom to achieve this effect, or you can fake it by blending a lighter-colored lipstick onto the center of your lips on top of whatever other lipstick you’re using. This creates the illusion of fuller lips and is famously a trick that Marilyn Monroe’s makeup artist used on her (and if she isn’t an aspirational icon for sex dolls everywhere, then who is?!). Many sex dolls wear a lipstick shade that’s fairly natural and low-key, but you could also go with a bright pink or purple if you want to be bolder. In any case, a shiny gloss on top is a must.

The rest of your face is less important than those two major features, but you can still increase your “dollishness” quotient by doing a full face of foundation and concealer to even out your skin tone so it looks vaguely plasticky. Make sure to set these products with powder – sex dolls’ skin is almost always matte. Some subtle, well-blended blush on the apples of your cheeks completes the look.

A note for all the makeup you choose: assuming you’re not pursuing a smudgy look for kink reasons (some people love to see mascara streaks on a teary-eyed submissive’s cheeks, for example), you should choose products that are waterproof and rated well for longevity. (Look at reviews on the Sephora website or MakeupAlley for this.) Dolls’ makeup is firmly painted on and unlikely to flake or smear, so yours should be, too!

Hair

If you only need to look like a sex doll (say, for photos) and don’t plan on being touched/fucked/manhandled like one, a wig is the obvious route to take. Long blonde hair is a popular choice, but there are a million wig options out there waiting to be explored.

If, however, you plan on being “used” when you’re a doll, a wig probably won’t cut it, because your “user” might want to pull your hair. Wear your real hair down, or in pigtails if it’s long enough; those are the two easiest styles to pull on. (Securing the pigtails with cute, colorful hair ties is a nice touch, particularly if you’re going for a youthful look.)

Clothes

It goes without saying that most sex dolls are probably mostly naked most of the time. That’s fine if your dollification scene will be limited to your bedroom, but if you plan on going out first (or even starting the scene with some kind of seduction/warm-up), you’ll probably want to be wearing something.

Some popular choices for sex-doll clothes include shiny bikinis, tight cropped T-shirts, miniskirts, tiny shorts, matching lingerie sets, and low-cut form-fitting dresses. It’s best to wear something that another person could easily remove from your body without your cooperation, since you might want to remain perfectly still as part of the fun of a dollification scene. So, tight jeans and restrictive dresses are probably a no-go, unless your partner wants a challenge!

Most sex dolls are remarkably busty. If you want to beef up your boobs (so to speak), you could wear a padded bra under whatever else you’re wearing. By the same token, some shapewear can help give you the hourglassy shape sex dolls are known for, but it can be hard to remove and doesn’t always look sexy once all your other layers of clothing have come off, so keep that in mind when selecting your ensemble.

A lot of sex dolls are barefoot, but if your partner likes heels, boots, or some other specific type of footwear, you might as well give it a shot. Knee-high or thigh-high socks can also amp up a playful, girlish aesthetic if that’s what you’re going for.

Facial expression and behavior

The way you act and move when you’re in sex-doll mode really depends on what you’re hoping to get out of your scene, but generally, you’re probably gonna wanna be blank-faced and stationary. Practice letting your eyes “zone out” the way they do when you stare out the window of a moving vehicle, say, or when your mind wanders while you’re standing in line somewhere. (Not to be too much of a hypnokink evangelical, but staring at a gif of a spiral can help you unfocus your eyes in the sexy, mindless way we’re talking about.) You don’t wanna look bored, so keep your eyes open wide for the most part, but just soften your gaze a little.

As for the rest of your body, traditionally sex dolls are rigid and posable. Your partner doesn’t have to manipulate your whole body weight every time they want to move you around – you can agree beforehand that you’ll help them out when they move you, so long as it doesn’t ruin the illusion for either of you.

 

How would you attire yourself if you planned on doing a dollification scene? Or, alternatively: if you were going to fuck someone who was pretending to be a sex doll, what would you want them to look like?

 

This post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

27 Great Things to Own Before You Turn 27

Kate Sloan

I’m turning 27 tomorrow. Weird. I’m decidedly entering my “late twenties,” which feels a little shocking – I still think of myself as essentially a baby, still figuring out how to “adult.” A lot of that is due to mental illness having held me back longer than I’d prefer from typical milestones, and some of it is due to the overall trend of millennials taking longer to move out, get “real” jobs, etc. because of the world’s economic situation right now. But it still feels strange to be turning an age that feels decidedly grown-up without indeed feeling that I’ve grown up.

However, in thinking about it, I do have a whole lot of things that I believe I “ought to” have by this age. These absolutely aren’t prescriptive, and I think no less of you if you don’t have them. But they make me feel more assured in my adulthood, and they might be a useful checklist if you, too, are looking for ways to reassure yourself of your continual grown-upness.

1. A well-worn copy of your favorite book. Is it dog-eared? Have you underlined your favorite passages in pen and scrawled responses in the margins? Have you lent it out to at least three friends? Then it just might be your favorite book.

2. A good selfie mirror. Look, it’s 2019; we have to think about these things. A good full-length selfie mirror was one of the first items I bought for my new apartment when I moved out, and I’ve been glad every day since that I made that decision!

3. Several worthy role models. People who, when you’re stuck or scared, you can ask yourself, “What would ____ do?” Personally, I think my biggest one right now is Alexandra Franzen.

4. Playlists for getting pumped up and for winding down. Music is a major part of the texture of your life, and it can have a huge effect on your mood!

5. A place you can go when you need to be alone. I would tell you about mine, but that would be self-defeating…

6. A signature scent. This one’s tricky because of scent sensitivities and such – but even if you only put on your fave fragrance in the company of you and your beloved, or alone in your bedroom, it’s nice to have a comforting scent that really feels like You. Mine is Aimanté, the perfume my boyfriend had custom-made for me by Brooklyn perfumer Stephen Dirkes, and it still makes me swoon, more than a year into owning it and wearing it regularly.

7. A signature lipstick. For fans of wearing lipstick, there are fewer experiences more gratifying than finally finding one that suits you to a T. It makes your face light up (both for color theory reasons and for pure delight reasons), it coordinates with your fave outfits and accessories, its finish and formulation work for your lifestyle, and even the packaging sparks joy for you. Some of mine: “Violet” by Bite Beauty, “Lucky Red” by Armani, and “Midnight Rose” by Lancôme.

8. A few really good handbags. Okay, ignore me if you’re not a purse person – in which case, I salute you and your bulging pockets – but cute bags are one of the most fun parts of outfit assembly! I have a few I love by Coach, Kate Spade, and mid-century companies whose names have been lost to time, and they serve me very well.

9. A beautiful pen. For signing receipts with a flourish, writing thank-you notes on the fly, and scrawling your phone number on cute people’s arms, of course. My partner, a dyed-in-the-wool pen nerd, recommends JetPens – which is where I picked up my Retro 51 Tornado, the prettiest pen I’ve ever owned.

10. A distinctive and practiced signature. See above. I still haven’t perfected mine. I think there are few things classier than a lovely signature.

11. A job title that makes you feel important, even if you have to make it up and give it to yourself. Look, even if you’re a “sales associate” or a “customer service representative” at your dayjob, you can be the CEO, Editrix-in-Chief, or Creative Director of your side hustle!

12. Treasured nicknames/pet names. Both ones other people have given you and ones you’ve given to other people. This is a type of relational currency and is one of my favorite tiny ways to give and receive affection. (Three of the closest people in my life are “bean,” “bruddy,” and “beeb” – and some of my nearest and dearest call me “Sloany” and “little one.” Swoon!)

13. An idea of what you want to achieve in the next 5 years. You should have a list written down somewhere, even if the items on it seem outlandish and implausible. You’ll probably be amazed at your progress when you look back at it in a few years!

14. A manicurist, hairdresser, waxer, shoeshine, etc. who you would trust with your life. These professions are immensely honorable, in no small part because they have to carefully handle things which are either very susceptible to damage or very important to you or both. Having a service provider on speed-dial can give you so much peace of mind.

15. A go-to local bar or café, and a regular order there. These places are critical to my sanity (such as it is) – they are somewhere I can go when I don’t want to be alone but I can’t quite handle actual social plans. They can also be great settings for those social plans, if and when you’re so inclined. It’s such a comfort having a place where, as they say, “everybody knows your name.”

16. A list of qualities you require in every romantic partner, and one of qualities that would disqualify a person from consideration. (Replace with “friend” if you’re not looking for a romantic partner.) Personal boundaries are a crucial skill to learn as you grow older; good ones can transform your life. Somewhere around 27 is the age I figure I should stop wasting my time on fuckboys, brutes, and clods, and focus my energies exclusively on kind-hearted charmers.

17. Sexy-as-fuck pictures of yourself. Hire a pin-up photographer, enlist a partner, or just set up a tripod and a remote and take ’em yourself. You deserve to have a record of how gorgeous you are!

18. A chequing account, a savings account, and perhaps a credit card. Boring but true.

19. Good glassware. This is a small thing which can feel huge. I feel so much more settled in my home life now that I have a few decent old-fashioned glasses and big water glasses. A set of 4 cost me about $10 at a dollar store. Brilliant.

20. A nice set of towels. These are a fairly recent acquisition for me; previously I was rotating between a couple of cheap beach towels, but my boyfriend (rightfully) insisted I upgrade to something more adult. I was not prepared for how much more luxurious my life would feel once it had big fluffy towels in it!

21. Bedding that makes you happy. Unless you’re a significant outlier in terms of your lifestyle, you likely spend a lot of time in or around your bed. It might as well look and feel like a nice place to be!

22. At least a handful of excellent sex toys (provided, of course, that sex and/or masturbation are things you desire and enjoy). You don’t need to have a zillion like I do, but you should at least have enough to suit your needs. I tend to think almost everybody needs, at the very least, a vibrator, an insertable, and some kind of fun kink tool (e.g. nipple clamps, a paddle, some under-the-bed restraints).

23. Lube that works well for your body. If you have no idea where to begin, just buy a bottle of Sliquid Sassy (best for vaginas and butts) or Uberlube (best for vulvas, vaginas, and penises) and put it on your nightstand. Trust me, if you’ve never used lube regularly but you make yourself start, you’ll be amazed at what a difference it makes.

24. Exquisite loungewear/pajamas. Another thing that seems small but makes a huge difference. I’m ride-or-die for MeUndies lounge pants.

25. An archive of love letters. If you’ve never received any, then offer to exchange some with your friends!

26. A well-stocked medicine cabinet. A practical (a.k.a. boring) suggestion, but there you go. You probably need, at minimum, painkillers, nausea meds, cold and flu meds, Band-Aids, rubbing alcohol, Pepto-Bismol, and perhaps some vitamins.

27. A stress management toolbox. I don’t mean a literal box, although you could go that route. No, I mean a series of functional coping strategies you can call upon when times are tough. A journaling habit, a CBT workbook, an exercise routine, good friends to talk to, a soothing self-care ritual… All of these could be useful to have in place when stress comes a-knockin’.

 

What did you consider important to acquire or achieve before age 27?

Review: Honour Latex Skater Skirt

Kate Sloan

Wearing latex is one of many sartorial rites of passage for kinksters. If you want to flag as kinky with your outfit alone, you can pretty much wear latex (if you’re not allergic), leather (if you’re not vegan), or perhaps velvet (if you’re… me). Stretchy, shiny, skin-tight, and restrictive, latex oozes kink in the realms of both the visual and the tactile. When I see someone dressed in latex, I think, “That person’s a perv,” or maybe “That person’s a goth/punk/weirdo,” but I never once think, “Wow, that person seems totally conventional and vanilla.”

My first clear memory of latex clothing is the sexy nun costume my heroine Gala Darling wore for Halloween in 2008. Prior to reading her post about it, I had no idea that latex was so fussy: wearing it was “an arduous process, involving lots of baby powder… crazy shimmying antics… and rubbing the entire thing with liquid silicon to make it shiny,” she wrote. “It also feels like you’re wearing a swimming cap. And it makes a funny noise when you walk.”

Gala’s right that latex clothing is annoying to wear, and even just to own. Here’s a condensed version of the Holy Commandments of Latex Fetishwear (more info here):

  • Thou shalt wriggle into your latex with the help of silicone-based lube and/or talc powder.
  • Thou shalt not pull on or stretch the latex too much, lest thou fuck up its shape.
  • Thou shalt certainly not wear any sharp objects that could puncture or tear the latex, like rings, rhinestones, or even long nails.
  • Thou shalt not get any oils on your latex, including moisturizer, self-tanner, or even the small amount of oil that might seep out of leather.
  • Thou shalt NEVER FUCKING EVER put your latex in the washing machine; plain water in the sink is fine, or perhaps a small amount of soap if you spilled something on it.

In addition to all that, it’s usually recommended that you grease up the outside of your latex clothing with silicone-based lube to give it that signature shine, and that you skip underwear when wearing it because the shape will show through. And you have to be prepared to sweat, a lot, because latex doesn’t breathe. So. As I’m sure you’ve ascertained, this is a totally breezy and low-maintenance material to wear. *rimshot*

Nonetheless, I was excited when Honour Clothing offered to send me my dream latex item, a black skater skirt. Being fit-and-flare rather than body-hugging, this garment manages to avoid a lot of the most annoying things about latex, like the no-underwear thing and the oh-dear-god-I-can’t-stop-sweating thing and the how-the-fuck-do-I-get-this-onto-my-body thing. It seemed like a good introduction to this material, so I could see whether I liked it before considering buying more elaborate pieces. (This unbelievably sexy dress, for example.)

The thing that most surprised me about this skirt, when I first took it out of the packaging, was the way it smelled. It was – and still is, honestly – an onslaught on my nose, akin to someone opening a condom right in front of your face. While condoms are certainly a sexually nostalgic scent for me, I don’t know that I want to walk around smelling like one, you know?

I requested this skirt in size 2XL, because that seemed like the best fit for my measurements based on the on-site size chart, but I could have gone a little smaller. An XL probably would have clung to my 5’4″, 153-lb, size-12 frame a little better.

Aesthetically, I love it. It looks perfect with colorful crop tops and bralettes. The flirty shape twirls outward when I spin, sways when I walk, and makes me feel like an absolute vixen. It’s short, but not so short that I feel self-conscious in it – it lets my thigh tattoos peek out without also showing my ass. It’s not the sort of thing I would wear to, say, a family gathering or a church function, but for events where a little fetish flair is called for, it’s ideal. I like that it’s obviously BDSM-inspired while lacking the hard, severe aesthetic you see in most femdom fashion, because I am a softgirl at heart.

Sweetly and thoughtfully, Honour sent bottles of Skin Two Serum and Liquid Shine along with the skirt. The former is a dressing aid, to help you slide a latex garment onto your body more easily, and the latter is a spray-on liquid meant to bring out the shine of your latex. I couldn’t find ingredients lists for these anywhere, but as far as I can tell from reading latex kinksters’ how-to guides on the subject, silicone-based lube works just fine for both purposes. It is convenient to be able to spray the Liquid Shine directly onto my skirt, though.

Overall, my foray into latex clothing was a success! Aside from a sweaty waist and a nose full o’ condom smell, I’ve found no downsides of owning and wearing this latex skater skirt. It’s all fetishy sexiness, all the time.

 

Thanks so much to Honour Clothing for sending me this skirt to review! Check out their wide selection of latex clothing.

12 Days of Girly Juice 2018: 12 Femme Essentials

Kate Sloan

Hello! Today kicks off 12 Days of Girly Juice, my yearly 12-part wrap-up of the things I loved most throughout the year. Over the next month, I’ll be sharing my fave sex toys, events, sexual encounters, and so much more from 2018! Today’s edition, however, is about something much simpler: femme delights! Read on to find out which fashion and beauty items I most adored in 2018.

Aimanté

Last year I waffled about my preferred perfumes, writing about 7 different ones instead of picking One Scent to Rule Them All. This year, however, there is a clear choice topping my list of fragrance faves: Aimanté, the bespoke scent my boyfriend commissioned Stephen Dirkes of Euphorium Brooklyn to make me for my birthday.

Dirkes described the scent thusly: “The rich fragrance of ripe blood orange and brilliant red geranium create a feminine opening. Middle notes of sweet honeyed balsams and sparkling amber are given texture with a hint of dark cocoa and patchouli. The earthy roots of vetiver provide a dark grounding for the accord.” My nose isn’t sophisticated enough to pick out the individual notes; all I know is that it’s an impossibly feminine and sexy scent. It feels more “me” every time I wear it, and I’ve worn it a lot.

It feels like a miracle that I am the only person in the world who gets to wear this exact formulation and that I love it so much. It also feels like a gift, each and every time I spritz on some Aimanté, that someone in the world loves me enough to have given me this beautiful thing that brightens my days.

MeUndies lounge pants

These are the real MVP of my freelance-writer wardrobe. I own two pairs – one in basic black, and one in a Christmasy red plaid – and I wear them all the time when I’m bummin’ around the house. They are divine.

I must say, I’m not a fan of pants as a category, so I balked a bit at the idea of spending $60 for a pair. (It should go without saying that I was never a Lululemon or Adidas girl!) But I’ve worn these so much that they’ve become worth it to me on their cost-per-wear ratio alone. The modal is super soft, the cut is lovely and flattering, and each pair has FOUR POCKETS. (As a hyperfemme, I am always thrilled by pockets.) The holy grail of lounge pants, truly!

L’Amour-Propre collars

I would be remiss not to mention one of my most-worn accessories of the year, my collar. Strangely, I already owned a L’Amour-Propre collar before I even met my Sir – a turquoise one – but we decided, upon meeting and becoming serious about our D/s dynamic, that we wanted one that would be just ours. So we settled on a royal blue suede one, and later upgraded to a royal blue leather one.

These collars are lovely, simple, eye-catching, kinky-looking but not too over-the-top to wear in everyday situations, and comfortable enough for all-day wear. They’re everything I want and need in a collar.

CowCow dresses

I discovered this affordable brand on Amazon this year and was quickly smitten. They make flattering A-line dresses in a myriad of wacky prints and a wide range of sizes, for reasonable prices. Some of my favorites: a purple one with pink and purple kiss-prints, a rainbow one, and one in my signature turquoise and pink.

When I was younger, I resisted adopting a “style uniform,” because I wanted every day’s outfit to be eclectic and unexpected. But I’ve come around to the practice of dressing more-or-less all the time in a way I know flatters me and makes me feel great. No matter what’s going on in my head or in the world, a fit-and-flare dress and a pair of kickass boots are a combination I feel stellar in.

Coach Mercer satchel

I bought this late last year as a little self-care treat during the brief window of time when I had a sugar daddy and thought I might continue having one for the foreseeable future (womp womp). It’s a wee little open-top leather satchel, just barely big enough to fit my laptop, wallet, journal and pen – the exact right size, therefore, for my purposes.

I love the robin’s-egg blue color; it’s ladylike yet fun. I love the softness of the leather, always one of my favorite qualities of Coach bags. And I love that it’s a little piece of luxury I bought myself when I was able to. Sometimes you just gotta treat yourself!

Wythe Hotel T-shirt

I bought a commemorative shirt from the hotel where my boyfriend first told me he loved me, because I am a sap. I didn’t know, however, when I ordered it, that I would end up wearing it at least once a week. It’s soft and comfortable and it reminds me of a very happy memory. What’s not to love?

Lotta From Stockholm peeptoe clogs

I bought these on the advice of a foot fetishist, who is, shall we say, biased. They are yellow and sexy and comfortable and perfect. They are my new go-to summer shoe. Thank you, Lotta, whoever you are.

Sugarpill liquid lipsticks

I have a couple of these – one in hot pink, “Girl Crush,” and another that is equally bright pink but laced with gold glitter, from a limited-edition set Sugarpill issued this year. Both are packaged adorably and make me feel like a sparkly megafemme when I apply them.

Unlike many liquid lipsticks – and I’ve tried lots, being a blowjob lipstick aficionado – the formula of these makes them feel feather-light on the lips, so much so that I sometimes forget I’m wearing one. They’re not quite friction-proof enough to have passed the blowjob test, and they don’t even hold up that well through food and drink, but I don’t mind reapplying them in public. I mean, have you seen the cute packaging on these?!

Maybelline SuperStay Matte Ink in “Pioneer”

This was a recommendation from Rae and I’m so glad I listened to them. I’ve been looking basically all my life for a perfect red lipstick, one that’s bright and cool-toned and opaque and actually stays on, and this is it. As with many liquid lipsticks, it’s dry and drying, and takes a little while to dry once applied, but those are my only complaints about it. If this lipstick was a person, I would give it lots of kisses.

Gap cashmere cardigan

I’ve searched for the perfect black cashmere cardigan for a long time; it’s a surprisingly tall order. I prefer V-neck ones, because I usually wear cardis unbuttoned and don’t like how a high collar looks that way. I also need my cardigans to have long sleeves (though I often roll ’em up) and I like a classic, feminine, curve-hugging cut. Almost no one makes this type of thing!

However, the Gap made one briefly last year, and had a sale that made the $150 price tag slightly more palatable to me, so I bought it. It’s actually perfect. It’s exactly what I wanted. It goes with every outfit. Living in a cold climate calls for cashmere, IMO, and I usually get mine vintage ‘n’ cheap, but I was happy to spend more than I normally would on such a flawless, indispensable basic.

IT Luggage turquoise suitcase

Okay, you might not think a suitcase counts as a femme accessory, but when you travel a lot and/or are in a long-distance relationship, it does! Bored of the basic black one I’d been hauling around for years – and of squinting in vain at the luggage carousel post-flight, trying to figure out which bag was mine – I snapped up this one by IT Luggage, in my favorite shade of vivid turquoise. Upon receiving it, I immediately tied a hot pink bandana to the handle, making it truly mine.

This suitcase is light, roomy for its size, and aesthetically delightful. I get supremely stressed out when I travel, but this bag makes the whole experience about 12% more fun, so I consider it to have been a worthwhile investment.

Frye engineer boots

These are – it must be said – immensely kinky-looking. I feel like a lithe domme whenever I wear them: like someone should be kneeling in front of me, cleaning and shining my boots while I page through a glossy magazine.

My long-beloved Frye harness boots finally kicked the bucket this year – a cobbler pronounced their soles unsalvageable – so I’ve been wearing these engineer ones a lot instead. They’re more grown-up-looking than my usual style, but maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe this scrappy kinky femme is finally becoming a sophisticated kinky femme.

What fashion/beauty items did you love this year?

Behind the Seams: Fetishwear & Mean Girls

Kate Sloan

September 29th, 2018. A new-ish dungeon space in my city was having a hypnokink play party, and my Sir encouraged me to go. This is normally the kind of thing that would activate my anxiety a lot – and, indeed, it did – but, as per usual, having been instructed to do it anyway by my beloved dom made me feel better equipped to overcome my fears.

The event dress code said “fetishwear or all-black,” which I and the femme friend I invited both found daunting yet doable. I got dolled up, then trekked uptown to meet my friend walking-distance from the venue so we could head over together.

It ended up being pretty low-key and fun. We’re both on the shy side, so we didn’t play with anyone or even really talk to anyone, but we had a lot of fun sitting on the sidelines and catching up on each other’s lives while intermittently watching some of the scenes that happened. We didn’t see any hypno, but then, it can be a tough kink to spot. Instead, several impact scenes unfolded in front of us, including one that also featured rope suspension, forced orgasm play, and a mega-hot domly dom in a suit. Woof.

At the end of the night, I took a bus home, got McDonald’s as per my Sir’s instructions, and told him all about the party over the phone. Pretty sweet night out, all in all.

What I’m wearing:
• Hair in little buns
• Black skater dress – H&M
• Pink leather chest harness – Stockroom
• Pink and white striped kneesocks – American Apparel
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• Eyeshadow and lipstick – the Sugarpill Oh Honey! collection

October 2nd, 2018. I wore this to Tell Me Something Good, the monthly sexy storytelling event I love so much. My Sir chose my outfit, as he often does when I go to events.

The theme was open, so the stories told that night were a wild grab bag: a first sapphic experience, a chance meeting on a Megabus, ableism on dating apps, awkward Pride celebrations with homophobic parents, being outed by nosy bosses, and more. I sipped a double whiskey on the rocks and laughed/gasped all the way through the night.

I told a story too: the tale of my first knifeplay scene with Dick, way back in December of last year. I figured it was an appropriately scary story for this October event. I can’t believe I’d never told that one at TMSG before!

What I’m wearing:
• Orangey-red heart-print dress – CowCow
• Black Danier leather jacket
• Blue suede collar – L’Amour-Propre
• Black leather Coach Station handbag – vintage on eBay many years ago
• Black leather Frye engineer boots
• Revlon Fire & Ice lipstick (a classic, a legend)

October 3rd, 2018. October 3rd is Mean Girls Day and it was also a Wednesday – so, obviously, I wore pink.

My regular Frye harness boots had cracks in the soles so egregious that my socks got soaked when I walked in them on rainy days, so I’d set them aside for the time being. That meant that my rainbow glitter Doc Martens got to see the light of day again.

I wore this outfit to a local café to do some dayjob work, and then back home to write this post.

What I’m wearing:
• Pink T-shirt – Gap (it needs to be ironed!)
• Black Danier leather jacket
• Blue sparkly heart necklace – Tarina Tarantino (current fave jewelry item)
• Black leggings – H&M
• Rainbow glitter Dr. Martens – Urban Outfitters a while ago