Beauty & Fashion – Page 3

Behind the Seams: Solo Dinners, Writing Adventures, & Barbie

August 13, 2023August 13, 2023Kate Sloan

June 17, 2023

After recording my song video for the week, I changed into this for the rest of the day. (Not really sure why I almost always pick an outfit/”costume” for my weekly song videos; it’s just become part of the process for me at this point. That week’s song was a sardonic post-breakup anthem so I wore all black with a big red heart necklace.)

I wore this outfit to go to the park and write fanfiction while sitting on a bench. This has been one of my favorite pastimes these past few months – not just writing fanfic but specifically doing it while sitting outside, surrounded by people and birds and grass. The bustle of it seems to help with my creative flow, kind of like sitting in a café, only more summery. (Incase you’re wondering, the chapter I wrote on this day was a CBT-infused BJ scene.)

What I’m wearing:

• Dark green cropped T-shirt – Calvin Klein (it’s surprised me how often I’ve worn this since buying it – it’s just sooo comfy because it’s made of a modal blend)
• Dark blue plaid schoolgirl skirt – H&M; bought a size up from my usual size because I wanted it to sit at my hips and not my waist, so it wouldn’t be obscenely short on me (and honestly it’s still pretty obscenely short)
• Black leather Converse Chuck Taylor All-Star sneakers
• Tiffany & Co. dog collar
• Blue leather briefcase – Coach Outlet (it’s exactly the right size for me to slip my laptop, wallet, keys, phone, and headphones into it for jaunts to the park to write)

July 15, 2023

I wore this to go see a one-person show, starring and written by one of the kids who was on the high school improv team I coached in 2011-2012. I say “kid” but that was actually so long ago that they’re all adults now, doing amazing stuff out in the world.

I pretty much always have a great time when I go see theatre by myself. This particular theatre was enforcing a mask requirement so I didn’t feel too nervous about it COVID-wise. I laughed and cried and marvelled and it was a lovely night.

What I’m wearing:

• Hippo Campus T-shirt – a gift from my brother
• Navy A-line skirt – Old Navy like a decade ago
• Black leather Converse Chuck Taylor All-Star sneakers
• Coach Rambler crossbody bag
• Custom-engraved “Daddy’s” heart-shaped lock from L’Amour-Propre worn on a chain

July 21, 2023

All the Barbie fever had me feeling hype about the color pink, so here’s what I wore a couple days before going to see the movie.

My partner and I have developed a protocol for my current ~secret project~ where, when I hit certain milestones, they pay for me to have a nice solo dinner out somewhere. So on this night I got dressed up and went for a luxuriant meal at my local fancy steakhouse. I was reading a long Sherlock fanfic on my Kindle, and sipped cocktails while eating scallops, steak, and mashed potatoes. Perfect self-date, if you ask me!

What I’m wearing:

• Black dress – Grace Karin (bought when I dressed up as Bettie Page for Halloween a couple years back)
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell, a findom gift from my love
• Pink and blue silk headscarf – a gift from my friend Sarah
• Tiffany & Co. dog collar
• Coach Rambler crossbody bag
• Prescription sunglasses – Zenni

July 23, 2023

My outfit to go see Barbie with some pals!

Dressing to a theme is so much fun. Some people on my Twitter timeline observed that we should all dress up for movies more often (those of us who like doing that, anyway) and I agree. Sometimes choosing a theme or goal aesthetic is the best way for me to motivate myself to get dressed and get out of the house, because I relish the femme challenge of it.

The movie was great! I only wished there was more Michael Cera, but, y’know. We can’t always get what we want.

What I’m wearing:

• Pink sequinned dress – Grace Karin
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell
• Coach Rambler crossbody bag
• Pink sparkly heart necklace – Tarina Tarantino
• Pink KN95 mask – MaskC (I’m not wearing it in these photos but you can see it in my hand, and it was an important part of the overall look)

July 31, 2023

Another outfit for a cute solo date, this one a little more low-key – I went to my local British pub and had a delicious and indulgent meal while, again, reading Sherlock fic on my Kindle. I am a creature of habit.

The tote bag was a gift from the folks at Vibratex, the current makers and distributors of the legendary Magic Wand, and I love it. I’ve been putting various enamel pins on it, most of them Magic Wand-themed, to liven it up a little. I like that the message written on it is subtle enough that people don’t stare at me weirdly in public, but is a bit of a wink-wink-nudge-nudge to anyone who happens to know about the Magic Wand.

What I’m wearing:

• Navy T-shirt – Wythe Hotel (worn about a zillion times since I acquired it shortly after having my very meaningful 3rd date with my partner at said hotel)
• Black ruffly skirt – thrifted in 2007-ish; it’s been a loyal fave for many years
• Black leather Frye harness boots
• “I make magic happen” tote bag – gift from Vibratex
• My sub’s chastity key on a chain

August 1, 2023

A little androgynous flavor for ya!

I wore this to go have drinks with an old friend/FWB who I met when we both worked at the same sex shop. We had a lively discussion over dinner and drinks, and then drunkenly made out in front of a subway station for a while. Ideal.

Then I wandered over to my parents’ house and hung out with my mama for a bit, catching up on what’s going on with her.

What I’m wearing:

• White V-neck men’s T-shirt – Hanes
• Black high-waisted straight-leg jeans – Madewell
• Black leather Converse Chuck Taylor All-Star sneakers
• Hair styled in a way I’ve been doing it a lot lately, which involves applying pomade when it’s wet, combing it all back so it dries perfectly straight/flat, and then flat-ironing it to give it some extra polish

5 Summery Fashion & Beauty Products I’m Loving Lately

July 7, 2023July 7, 2023Kate Sloan

Yay, summertime! Here are some hot-weather-appropriate fashion & beauty items I’ve been enjoying recently.

American Crew pomade

I bought this because I’ve been stylistically very influenced by the character Roman Roy of Succession lately (more on that in the recent Dildorks episode about my evolving gender presentation), and his hair is one of the most striking elements of his signature look – it’s usually slicked back or combed to the side and very shiny with product, in a cool 1950s-throwback sort of way. I have this great asymmetrical short haircut now that I can do a bunch of different things with (shout-out to my long-time hairdresser Paul Taylor of Avalon Hair Design!), so I thought it would be fun to experiment with pomade, since I’d never really tried it before – I’ve used, at most, some gel or hairspray for certain elaborate styles, but more often just stick with a curl cream.

There are basically infinite ways to use this pomade, but my favorite lately is to smooth some through my towel-dried hair after a shower and neatly comb it all back with a tail comb. Sometimes I’ll add a little height in the front by pinning it into a pompadour shape with a bobby pin while it dries. This feels like a very summery look to me because it keeps my hair off my face (ideal in the heat) and the shine makes my hair look slightly wet, as if I perpetually just stepped out of a swimming pool. I also love the gender-weirdness of incorporating elements traditionally associated with men’s hairstyling into my otherwise femme-leaning look.

Clinique Chubby Stick Intense in “Mightiest Maraschino”

This is an old-school favorite of mine – I think I first bought it around 2015 and wore it a lot when I was in journalism school (largely because I was so busy and stressed all the time and often wanted to wear low-maintenance makeup, if any), and then in 2021 I remembered this lipstick existed, bought a new tube, and hopped wholeheartedly back onto the Mightiest Maraschino train.

I love red lipsticks of basically any kind, but in the summer, I tend to gravitate more toward reds that are glossy, sheer, and/or very quick and easy to apply – as opposed to the heavier, fussier, matte reds I’ll carefully paint onto my lips in the fall and winter. This Clinique lipstick feels as light and moisturizing as a tinted lip balm, but it’s a nearly-opaque bright red that looks good with pretty much everything. It doesn’t have the greatest staying power, but applying it takes so little time and effort that I don’t mind reapplying after drinks or meals as needed.

Coola face sunscreen in cucumber scent

I know this won’t be to everyone’s taste because a lot of people are sensitive to fragranced products, but I recently bought this solely because the standard non-scented version was sold out, and I’ve been surprised by how much I’m enjoying it.

Coola’s face sunscreen is the best formula I’ve ever tried, and I’ve tried a bunch. Way too many sunscreens are heavy, oily, and/or shiny, necessitating that I pat a lot of setting powder on top if I want to feel presentable. But this one dries to a reasonable level of dewiness, doesn’t make me feel oily and gross, and is a good consistency to apply quickly on my way out the door.

The cucumber scent is calming and cooling – ideal for summer – but it also only lasts maybe a minute or two, after which I can’t smell it anymore. Probably a good thing.

MeUndies eggplant-print modal shorts (use this link to get 20% off)

MeUndies had a sale a little while ago, and I basically live in modal loungewear when I’m at home, so I had to at least take a look. Imagine my delight when I saw that they are currently making their super-comfy modal shorts in a print emblazoned with the most notoriously phallic emoji.

I haven’t worn these out of the house, and probably won’t – they’re a bit of a statement, to say the least – but I’ve adored lounging around in them at home, writing in them, sleeping in them, etc. They’re as comfy as boxers, but they have POCKETS, so I can keep my phone with me while I walk around, or whatever. Plus, naturally, I love what the print represents (that being: dicks).

3Delightfulshop rainbow earrings

I’ve bought stuff from this Etsy store before and was happy with it, so I decided to get some gay-ass earrings to rock at Pride events. I’ve ended up wearing them a lot – they’re huge, and loud, and they seem to encourage people to see me as the queer weirdo that I am, which is always great.

What fashion/beauty stuff are you loving lately?

Behind the Seams: A Whole Lotta Pink!

June 4, 2023June 5, 2023Kate Sloan

October 28, 2022

This is maybe one of the most masc-looking outfits I’ve ever posted on here. I’ve been asking my hairdresser to cut my hair progressively shorter and shorter over the last couple years, and every time I get more of it chopped off, I feel queerer, in a really good way. It’s still sometimes a bit of a challenge to feel as femme as I want to when my hair is this short, but makeup helps – and I think that the colorful, bi-as-fuck eyeshadow look I did with this outfit balanced out the rest of it really well.

I wore this to run some errands and then record a bonus episode of The Dildorks (which are all available to $12+ patrons on our Patreon, incase you were wondering!).

What I’m wearing:

• “2 gay 2 live, 2 horny 2 die” tank top – made by Cayce Fisher but I can’t seem to find a link to it anymore, sorry!
• Black high-waisted jeans – Madewell
• Pink leather Coach Cashin Carry tote (I truly love this bag so you will see it a lot in this post!) – a gift from my love
• Black leather Converse Chuck Taylors
• Apple Watch with red leather strap
• Berry-pink KN95 mask – MaskC

January 28, 2023

I wore this to go with my friends Dan and Sarah to a birthday party we were all invited to. I wanted to dress in the bisexual pride colors (blue, purple, and pink) because both of the people whose birthday it was are bi (I think?) and both of them wear a lot of bright colors, especially purple. Love a themed outfit!

This blue shirt is a bit tricky to style because it’s so low-cut, but I liked the trick of wearing a bralette underneath that gave a little pop of color and a bit of cleavage coverage, because I was just not feeling up to showing that much boob!

What I’m wearing:

• Raspberry-pink merino wool cardigan – the Gap
• Blue low-cut tank top – a gift from my friend Sarah
• Deep pink lace bralette – the Gap
• Black skater skirt (with pockets!) – ASOS
• Black leggings – H&M
• My custom Nikes/high-femme clown shoes (more on them in this post)
• My sub’s chastity key on a chain

February 1, 2023

I wore this out to get my hair done. My hairdresser, Paul, has been doing my hair since I was about 12 years old (!!), and he’s a fellow member of the LGBTQ+ community who has wonderful style, so I usually like to dress a little wacky to go see him.

Later that night, my friend/roommate Sarah and I got together for one of our regular get-togethers over drinks. Always fun to sit around chatting with my pal, getting tipsy, catching up on each other’s lives, petting the cats, and (often) watching videos of our mutual favorite video-game YouTuber, QuinBoBin.

What I’m wearing:

• Pink knit beanie – Only, via The Bay (I bought the same one in a gorgeous kelly-green shade as well and wore both of them a ton in the winter and early spring)
• Black T-shirt – probably from the Hippo Campus merch store?
• Hot pink cashmere sweater – J. Crew
• Black skater skirt – ASOS
• Black leggings – H&M
• Pink leather Coach Cashin Carry tote
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell
• My go-to winter coat, a black wool/cashmere-blend Fairweather pea coat that I thrifted in 2007 (!!!) and have worn nearly every winter since then
• Black KN95 mask

February 4, 2023

I wore this to attend a lovely party held by the great Samantha Fraser. who always throws a hell of a bash. This one was summer-themed and had the vibe of a tropical vacation – complete with refreshing cocktails and leis! – and I had a fantastic time catching up with a bunch of people I hadn’t seen in ages.

However, unfortunately then I FAINTED! I was literally mid-conversation with someone and started to feel intensely dizzy and had to excuse myself mid-sentence, which was super embarrassing, and then I collapsed in the kitchen. Not my finest moment. In retrospect, I think it may have been a POTS-related incident (I’m not diagnosed with POTS yet but strongly suspect I have it, and am going to get checked out by a cardiologist soon to verify). Everyone was very nice and understanding about it, and my friends Sarah and Dan came to keep me company in a bedroom upstairs while I waited out the weird disorientation and dizziness, and then took me home. Oh well, at least I had a good time until I fainted!

What I’m wearing:

• World’s best jumpsuit – Le Chateau; I had it hemmed because I’m a shorty
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell
• Red heart-shaped bag – Kate Spade
• Blue ukulele earrings – 3DelightfulShop on Etsy

February 11, 2023

I wore this to the Erotic Arts & Crafts Fair, always a fantastic event. Some of the highlights this time were having a custom love poem written for us on the spot by a cool person with a typewriter, picking up another leather bookmark from L’Amour-Propre (I already had one but can always use more), and seeing some previews of the Vibrating Tarot, a sex toy tarot deck that’s in the works.

After getting home from the fair, I stayed in this same outfit to record the video for my song-of-the-week “Billionaire,” which is about Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos and how no one should be allowed to accrue that much money when there is so much needless suffering in this world due to poverty.

What I’m wearing:

• Pink knit beanie – Only
• Pink T-shirt featuring a cartoon of a dominatrix holding a whip (apparently the artist is named Etienne) – the gift shop at the Leather Archives & Museum, a must-visit for any kinksters who visit Chicago
• Pink cardigan – Beninos
• Black jeans – Madewell
• Pink leather Coach Cashin Carry tote
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell (they don’t seem to be making the pink ones anymore, unfortunately, but they are making red ones!)
• Teal-blue leather dog collar – Tiffany’s, a gift from my love
• Black KN95 mask because COVID is bad

Want more posts like this? Check out the Beauty & Fashion category!

3 Gorgeous Sex-Related Aesthetics I Admire

April 24, 2023April 24, 2023Kate Sloan

All images in this post were assembled using UrStyle

When I think of fetish aesthetics, I think of Bettie Page, and of the SuicideGirls. Although these two cultural phenomena hit their peaks decades apart from one another, I think it’s obvious that the SuicideGirl aesthetic was very much influenced by Bettie Page and other midcentury fetish models, and we also see these influences in aesthetics associated with pro dom(me)s and even with the later mania centering around Fifty Shades of Grey.

Sharp nails, sharp heels, sharp eyeliner wings – these are just some of the elements I associate with this type of look. One of the reasons it feels so transgressive is that women’s style is traditionally “supposed to” be subdued, soft, and conventionally feminine. When we incorporate elements that feel tougher, stronger, and scarier – think Sandy at the end of Grease – it can come across as threatening to traditional Western gender roles and even to Western conceptions of heterosexuality as a whole. For many of us, that transgression is exactly what is so appealing and sexy about this type of look.

Obviously the idea of a “sex worker aesthetic” is a problematic oversimplification, since sex workers are not a monolith by any means; even to break down the category of sex workers further and argue that, for instance, escorts in London have a particular sartorial style would be wrong, because they’re all individual human beings with individual aesthetics.

That being said, there are some stylistic elements that are often associated with sex workers in the popular imagination, whether or not these associations are accurate. Some of these come from Hollywood depictions (think Vivian’s thigh-high black leather boots in Pretty Woman) and some come from actual sex workers (such as the pops of red and pink often found in the looks of MF Akynos, founder of the Black Sex Worker Collective). Leather, leopard print, sky-high heels, and fishnets are just some of the stylistic elements commonly associated with sex workers, though of course one’s outfit selections will depend largely on geographic location, weather, the type(s) of sex work being performed, any safety concerns that may limit style choices (including the likelihood of being targeted by police), the type of clientele one is likely to have, and other such factors.

When I did online sex work of various sorts and was briefly a sugar baby, I enjoyed reflecting on the aesthetic legacies of sex workers, and incorporating elements into my look that I associated with them in order to subtly reference those who came before. Obviously these looks can be incredibly powerful and sexy, and they – like sex work itself – have a fascinating history.

Sundresses have come to be discussed as symbols of sexuality in and of themselves over the past few years; “getting railed in a sundress” has become a widespread idea and many women-attracted and/or femme-attracted people rejoice about the start of “sundress season” each year.

If kinky and sex work-influenced aesthetics are conceptually based around transgression, danger, and perversion, I think there’s a certain variety of sundress sexiness that is more about (the illusion of) innocence, inexperience, and immaturity. I don’t mean the fetishization of actual children, which is of course not okay, but rather the fetishization of a certain play-acted naïveté that is seen as feminine, youthful, and fun, but still quite adult in its manifestation.

The vibe, to my mind, is “getting fucked at a picnic,” or maybe “what if the Garden of Eden was a porn scene.” Pretty ideal aesthetic, if you ask me.

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

My Everyday Makeup + Skincare Essentials

January 7, 2023January 8, 2023Kate Sloan

As much as I love to try new beauty products, a lot of times I just come back to the same ones over and over again. Here are the skincare and makeup items that are in heavy rotation for me right now – some of them I use every single day, and some of them I use closer to once or twice a week, but all of them get used more than anything else in my collection.

Skincare

Cleanser: I love the soothing scent and light chemical exfoliation of Mario Badescu Enzyme Cleansing Gel. I also often use Cetaphil and/or CeraVe cleansers when I travel, because they can be found in most drugstores in Canada and the U.S.

Moisturizer: CeraVe moisturizing cream is just the best. So hydrating, so simple, so non-irritating, so affordable (considering that you get a giant tub of it).

Night cream: Mario Badescu seaweed night cream is my favorite for nights when my skin is feeling especially dry and needs some love.

Eye cream: I’m using Biossance eye gel at the moment but am not really in love with it. Still looking for the eye cream of my dreams.

Sunscreen: Coola face sunscreen dries down better than any other one I’ve tried, so I can wear makeup over top if I give it just a few minutes to soak in.

Lip balm: The LaNeige lip sleeping mask is divine.

Makeup

Eyebrows: Anastasia Beverly Hills Dipbrow Pomade in “Dark Brown” is one of my all-time favorite makeup products. I’ve been using it for about 9 years, and it is the product that makes me feel more like myself when I apply it. I like the pomade formula rather than an eyebrow pencil because it holds your brows’ shape better and seems to stay put better. (Make sure you get an angled brow brush with a spoolie if you want to try this stuff; use the spoolie to shape your brows and then apply Dipbrow in short strokes with the angled brush.)

Concealer: Maybelline Fit Me liquid concealer has a blendable consistency and buildable medium coverage. I actually prefer it over the pricier NARS concealer I was using before.

Powder: Most days I use either Laura Mercier translucent loose setting powder or Make Up For Ever Ultra HD pressed powder; they both work really well for setting concealer/foundation in place and getting rid of shine.

Blush: I have tried several but Tarte blush in “Natural Beauty” is my favorite one ever. It’s super pigmented but easy to blend, and the color goes well with both red and pink lipsticks. When I want something a bit more subdued, usually I go with MAC Sheertone blush in “Blushbaby,” which a MAC salesperson introduced me to many years ago when I started wearing blush for the very first time.

Eyeliner: MAC Liquidlast liner in “Point Black” is the only one I’ve found that stands up to all the sweating and crying I do. The gloopy texture is a little weird at first but you get used to it.

Lipstick: I have about a zillion of them, but some ride-or-die faves that I wear pretty often are: