Beauty & Fashion

5 Summery Fashion & Beauty Products I’m Loving Lately

Kate Sloan

Yay, summertime! Here are some hot-weather-appropriate fashion & beauty items I’ve been enjoying recently.

 

 

Image via Amazon

American Crew pomade

I bought this because I’ve been stylistically very influenced by the character Roman Roy of Succession lately (more on that in the recent Dildorks episode about my evolving gender presentation), and his hair is one of the most striking elements of his signature look – it’s usually slicked back or combed to the side and very shiny with product, in a cool 1950s-throwback sort of way. I have this great asymmetrical short haircut now that I can do a bunch of different things with (shout-out to my long-time hairdresser Paul Taylor of Avalon Hair Design!), so I thought it would be fun to experiment with pomade, since I’d never really tried it before – I’ve used, at most, some gel or hairspray for certain elaborate styles, but more often just stick with a curl cream.

There are basically infinite ways to use this pomade, but my favorite lately is to smooth some through my towel-dried hair after a shower and neatly comb it all back with a tail comb. Sometimes I’ll add a little height in the front by pinning it into a pompadour shape with a bobby pin while it dries. This feels like a very summery look to me because it keeps my hair off my face (ideal in the heat) and the shine makes my hair look slightly wet, as if I perpetually just stepped out of a swimming pool. I also love the gender-weirdness of incorporating elements traditionally associated with men’s hairstyling into my otherwise femme-leaning look.

 

 

Image via Amazon

Clinique Chubby Stick Intense in “Mightiest Maraschino”

This is an old-school favorite of mine – I think I first bought it around 2015 and wore it a lot when I was in journalism school (largely because I was so busy and stressed all the time and often wanted to wear low-maintenance makeup, if any), and then in 2021 I remembered this lipstick existed, bought a new tube, and hopped wholeheartedly back onto the Mightiest Maraschino train.

I love red lipsticks of basically any kind, but in the summer, I tend to gravitate more toward reds that are glossy, sheer, and/or very quick and easy to apply – as opposed to the heavier, fussier, matte reds I’ll carefully paint onto my lips in the fall and winter. This Clinique lipstick feels as light and moisturizing as a tinted lip balm, but it’s a nearly-opaque bright red that looks good with pretty much everything. It doesn’t have the greatest staying power, but applying it takes so little time and effort that I don’t mind reapplying after drinks or meals as needed.

 

 

Image via Amazon

Coola face sunscreen in cucumber scent

I know this won’t be to everyone’s taste because a lot of people are sensitive to fragranced products, but I recently bought this solely because the standard non-scented version was sold out, and I’ve been surprised by how much I’m enjoying it.

Coola’s face sunscreen is the best formula I’ve ever tried, and I’ve tried a bunch. Way too many sunscreens are heavy, oily, and/or shiny, necessitating that I pat a lot of setting powder on top if I want to feel presentable. But this one dries to a reasonable level of dewiness, doesn’t make me feel oily and gross, and is a good consistency to apply quickly on my way out the door.

The cucumber scent is calming and cooling – ideal for summer – but it also only lasts maybe a minute or two, after which I can’t smell it anymore. Probably a good thing.

 

Image via MeUndies

MeUndies eggplant-print modal shorts (use this link to get 20% off)

MeUndies had a sale a little while ago, and I basically live in modal loungewear when I’m at home, so I had to at least take a look. Imagine my delight when I saw that they are currently making their super-comfy modal shorts in a print emblazoned with the most notoriously phallic emoji.

I haven’t worn these out of the house, and probably won’t – they’re a bit of a statement, to say the least – but I’ve adored lounging around in them at home, writing in them, sleeping in them, etc. They’re as comfy as boxers, but they have POCKETS, so I can keep my phone with me while I walk around, or whatever. Plus, naturally, I love what the print represents (that being: dicks).

 

 

Image via 3Delightfulshop

3Delightfulshop rainbow earrings

I’ve bought stuff from this Etsy store before and was happy with it, so I decided to get some gay-ass earrings to rock at Pride events. I’ve ended up wearing them a lot – they’re huge, and loud, and they seem to encourage people to see me as the queer weirdo that I am, which is always great.

 

What fashion/beauty stuff are you loving lately?

Behind the Seams: A Whole Lotta Pink!

Kate Sloan

October 28, 2022

This is maybe one of the most masc-looking outfits I’ve ever posted on here. I’ve been asking my hairdresser to cut my hair progressively shorter and shorter over the last couple years, and every time I get more of it chopped off, I feel queerer, in a really good way. It’s still sometimes a bit of a challenge to feel as femme as I want to when my hair is this short, but makeup helps – and I think that the colorful, bi-as-fuck eyeshadow look I did with this outfit balanced out the rest of it really well.

I wore this to run some errands and then record a bonus episode of The Dildorks (which are all available to $12+ patrons on our Patreon, incase you were wondering!).

 

What I’m wearing:

• “2 gay 2 live, 2 horny 2 die” tank top – made by Cayce Fisher but I can’t seem to find a link to it anymore, sorry!
• Black high-waisted jeans – Madewell
• Pink leather Coach Cashin Carry tote (I truly love this bag so you will see it a lot in this post!) – a gift from my love
• Black leather Converse Chuck Taylors
• Apple Watch with red leather strap
• Berry-pink KN95 mask – MaskC

January 28, 2023

I wore this to go with my friends Dan and Sarah to a birthday party we were all invited to. I wanted to dress in the bisexual pride colors (blue, purple, and pink) because both of the people whose birthday it was are bi (I think?) and both of them wear a lot of bright colors, especially purple. Love a themed outfit!

This blue shirt is a bit tricky to style because it’s so low-cut, but I liked the trick of wearing a bralette underneath that gave a little pop of color and a bit of cleavage coverage, because I was just not feeling up to showing that much boob!

 

What I’m wearing:

• Raspberry-pink merino wool cardigan – the Gap
• Blue low-cut tank top – a gift from my friend Sarah
• Deep pink lace bralette – the Gap
• Black skater skirt (with pockets!) – ASOS
• Black leggings – H&M
• My custom Nikes/high-femme clown shoes (more on them in this post)
• My sub’s chastity key on a chain

February 1, 2023

I wore this out to get my hair done. My hairdresser, Paul, has been doing my hair since I was about 12 years old (!!), and he’s a fellow member of the LGBTQ+ community who has wonderful style, so I usually like to dress a little wacky to go see him.

Later that night, my friend/roommate Sarah and I got together for one of our regular get-togethers over drinks. Always fun to sit around chatting with my pal, getting tipsy, catching up on each other’s lives, petting the cats, and (often) watching videos of our mutual favorite video-game YouTuber, QuinBoBin.

 

What I’m wearing:

• Pink knit beanie – Only, via The Bay (I bought the same one in a gorgeous kelly-green shade as well and wore both of them a ton in the winter and early spring)
• Black T-shirt – probably from the Hippo Campus merch store?
• Hot pink cashmere sweater – J. Crew
• Black skater skirt – ASOS
• Black leggings – H&M
• Pink leather Coach Cashin Carry tote
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell
• My go-to winter coat, a black wool/cashmere-blend Fairweather pea coat that I thrifted in 2007 (!!!) and have worn nearly every winter since then
• Black KN95 mask

February 4, 2023

I wore this to attend a lovely party held by the great Samantha Fraser. who always throws a hell of a bash. This one was summer-themed and had the vibe of a tropical vacation – complete with refreshing cocktails and leis! – and I had a fantastic time catching up with a bunch of people I hadn’t seen in ages.

However, unfortunately then I FAINTED! I was literally mid-conversation with someone and started to feel intensely dizzy and had to excuse myself mid-sentence, which was super embarrassing, and then I collapsed in the kitchen. Not my finest moment. In retrospect, I think it may have been a POTS-related incident (I’m not diagnosed with POTS yet but strongly suspect I have it, and am going to get checked out by a cardiologist soon to verify). Everyone was very nice and understanding about it, and my friends Sarah and Dan came to keep me company in a bedroom upstairs while I waited out the weird disorientation and dizziness, and then took me home. Oh well, at least I had a good time until I fainted!

 

What I’m wearing:

• World’s best jumpsuit – Le Chateau; I had it hemmed because I’m a shorty
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell
• Red heart-shaped bag – Kate Spade
• Blue ukulele earrings – 3DelightfulShop on Etsy

February 11, 2023

I wore this to the Erotic Arts & Crafts Fair, always a fantastic event. Some of the highlights this time were having a custom love poem written for us on the spot by a cool person with a typewriter, picking up another leather bookmark from L’Amour-Propre (I already had one but can always use more), and seeing some previews of the Vibrating Tarot, a sex toy tarot deck that’s in the works.

After getting home from the fair, I stayed in this same outfit to record the video for my song-of-the-week “Billionaire,” which is about Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos and how no one should be allowed to accrue that much money when there is so much needless suffering in this world due to poverty.

 

What I’m wearing:

• Pink knit beanie – Only
• Pink T-shirt featuring a cartoon of a dominatrix holding a whip (apparently the artist is named Etienne) – the gift shop at the Leather Archives & Museum, a must-visit for any kinksters who visit Chicago
• Pink cardigan – Beninos
• Black jeans – Madewell
• Pink leather Coach Cashin Carry tote
• Pink metallic cowboy boots – Jeffrey Campbell (they don’t seem to be making the pink ones anymore, unfortunately, but they are making red ones!)
• Teal-blue leather dog collar – Tiffany’s, a gift from my love
• Black KN95 mask because COVID is bad

 

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3 Gorgeous Sex-Related Aesthetics I Admire

Kate Sloan
All images in this post were assembled using UrStyle

When I think of fetish aesthetics, I think of Bettie Page, and of the SuicideGirls. Although these two cultural phenomena hit their peaks decades apart from one another, I think it’s obvious that the SuicideGirl aesthetic was very much influenced by Bettie Page and other midcentury fetish models, and we also see these influences in aesthetics associated with pro dom(me)s and even with the later mania centering around Fifty Shades of Grey.

Sharp nails, sharp heels, sharp eyeliner wings – these are just some of the elements I associate with this type of look. One of the reasons it feels so transgressive is that women’s style is traditionally “supposed to” be subdued, soft, and conventionally feminine. When we incorporate elements that feel tougher, stronger, and scarier – think Sandy at the end of Grease – it can come across as threatening to traditional Western gender roles and even to Western conceptions of heterosexuality as a whole. For many of us, that transgression is exactly what is so appealing and sexy about this type of look.

Obviously the idea of a “sex worker aesthetic” is a problematic oversimplification, since sex workers are not a monolith by any means; even to break down the category of sex workers further and argue that, for instance, escorts in London have a particular sartorial style would be wrong, because they’re all individual human beings with individual aesthetics.

That being said, there are some stylistic elements that are often associated with sex workers in the popular imagination, whether or not these associations are accurate. Some of these come from Hollywood depictions (think Vivian’s thigh-high black leather boots in Pretty Woman) and some come from actual sex workers (such as the pops of red and pink often found in the looks of MF Akynos, founder of the Black Sex Worker Collective). Leather, leopard print, sky-high heels, and fishnets are just some of the stylistic elements commonly associated with sex workers, though of course one’s outfit selections will depend largely on geographic location, weather, the type(s) of sex work being performed, any safety concerns that may limit style choices (including the likelihood of being targeted by police), the type of clientele one is likely to have, and other such factors.

When I did online sex work of various sorts and was briefly a sugar baby, I enjoyed reflecting on the aesthetic legacies of sex workers, and incorporating elements into my look that I associated with them in order to subtly reference those who came before. Obviously these looks can be incredibly powerful and sexy, and they – like sex work itself – have a fascinating history.

Sundresses have come to be discussed as symbols of sexuality in and of themselves over the past few years; “getting railed in a sundress” has become a widespread idea and many women-attracted and/or femme-attracted people rejoice about the start of “sundress season” each year.

If kinky and sex work-influenced aesthetics are conceptually based around transgression, danger, and perversion, I think there’s a certain variety of sundress sexiness that is more about (the illusion of) innocence, inexperience, and immaturity. I don’t mean the fetishization of actual children, which is of course not okay, but rather the fetishization of a certain play-acted naïveté that is seen as feminine, youthful, and fun, but still quite adult in its manifestation.

The vibe, to my mind, is “getting fucked at a picnic,” or maybe “what if the Garden of Eden was a porn scene.” Pretty ideal aesthetic, if you ask me.

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

My Everyday Makeup + Skincare Essentials

Kate Sloan

As much as I love to try new beauty products, a lot of times I just come back to the same ones over and over again. Here are the skincare and makeup items that are in heavy rotation for me right now – some of them I use every single day, and some of them I use closer to once or twice a week, but all of them get used more than anything else in my collection.

 

Skincare

Cleanser: I love the soothing scent and light chemical exfoliation of Mario Badescu Enzyme Cleansing Gel. I also often use Cetaphil and/or CeraVe cleansers when I travel, because they can be found in most drugstores in Canada and the U.S.

Moisturizer: CeraVe moisturizing cream is just the best. So hydrating, so simple, so non-irritating, so affordable (considering that you get a giant tub of it).

Night cream: Mario Badescu seaweed night cream is my favorite for nights when my skin is feeling especially dry and needs some love.

Eye cream: I’m using Biossance eye gel at the moment but am not really in love with it. Still looking for the eye cream of my dreams.

Sunscreen: Coola face sunscreen dries down better than any other one I’ve tried, so I can wear makeup over top if I give it just a few minutes to soak in.

Lip balm: The LaNeige lip sleeping mask is divine.

 

A pretty standard “everyday” makeup look for me

Makeup

Eyebrows: Anastasia Beverly Hills Dipbrow Pomade in “Dark Brown” is one of my all-time favorite makeup products. I’ve been using it for about 9 years, and it is the product that makes me feel more like myself when I apply it. I like the pomade formula rather than an eyebrow pencil because it holds your brows’ shape better and seems to stay put better. (Make sure you get an angled brow brush with a spoolie if you want to try this stuff; use the spoolie to shape your brows and then apply Dipbrow in short strokes with the angled brush.)

Concealer: Maybelline Fit Me liquid concealer has a blendable consistency and buildable medium coverage. I actually prefer it over the pricier NARS concealer I was using before.

Powder: Most days I use either Laura Mercier translucent loose setting powder or Make Up For Ever Ultra HD pressed powder; they both work really well for setting concealer/foundation in place and getting rid of shine.

Blush: I have tried several but Tarte blush in “Natural Beauty” is my favorite one ever. It’s super pigmented but easy to blend, and the color goes well with both red and pink lipsticks. When I want something a bit more subdued, usually I go with MAC Sheertone blush in “Blushbaby,” which a MAC salesperson introduced me to many years ago when I started wearing blush for the very first time.

Eyeliner: MAC Liquidlast liner in “Point Black” is the only one I’ve found that stands up to all the sweating and crying I do. The gloopy texture is a little weird at first but you get used to it.

Lipstick: I have about a zillion of them, but some ride-or-die faves that I wear pretty often are:

 

What are your everyday skincare and/or makeup essentials?

12 Days of Girly Juice 2022: 12 Femme Essentials

Kate Sloan

Today marks the start of my annual year-end feature, 12 Days of Girly Juice! In the coming weeks, I’ll be writing about my favorite songs, sex toys, books, articles, selfies, events, and sexual encounters of the year – among other things. It’s how I process the events of my year, and the ways I’ve changed over the course of these twelve months.

As is tradition, the first 12 Days of Girly Juice post is about my femme essentials this year – the twelve fashion and beauty items which brightened my days, inspired me aesthetically, and helped me express my inner self to the outer world. In no particular order, here they are.

 

Elemis Pro-Collagen Cleansing Balm. I bought this on the recommendation of a beauty YouTuber named Spencer, who knows his stuff. It’s a slippery, viscous product that you massage into your skin to dissolve all the day’s makeup so it can then be removed. I usually rub this balm into my skin while it’s dry and then add water, which makes its consistency thinner so it can then be gently wiped off with a washcloth or tissue.

There are a couple reasons I love this product, aside from the simple fact that it works. Firstly, it smells so good that it makes me feel like I’ve been transported to a spa – it’s fragranced with eucalyptus, lavender, rose, and chamomile – but there’s also a fragrance-free version for folks who prefer that. Secondly, as someone living with a chronic illness that routinely saps my energy, I appreciate having a super low-effort way to remove my makeup at the end of the day when I’ve already used up most of my spoons and don’t have enough fortitude left in me to wash my face properly. Lazy skincare is valid!!

 

“Love Shack” heart-shaped bag by Kate Spade. I love Kate Spade bags and they’ve showed up on this list before, but this bag is really special. I wanted a small clutch or crossbody bag I could take with me to Matt’s sister’s wedding in September, and as soon as I saw this, I wanted it bad. Fortunately, it was on sale.

It’s definitely not the roomiest bag – it can fit my wallet, phone, keys, gum, and a couple other small things, but can’t handle my Kindle or any notebook larger than pocket-sized. But it gets so many compliments, and brightens up my outfits so much, that I’m okay with it.

 

Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask. This is basically just a really great lip balm. I’m including it because, in another year of Zoom calls and intermittent isolation and working from home – not to mention chronic illness and fatigue – I didn’t always have the wherewithal to put together a flashy look, but fancy skincare products helped me feel beautiful nonetheless.

I got this one as part of my Sephora birthday gift last year but used it way more this year. The subtle berry scent and shea butter-based formula are luxurious and lovely. I’m a fan.

 

Make Up For Ever Ultra HD Microfinishing Pressed Powder. This stuff is aggravatingly expensive, so I only ever buy the mini size – but it’s a must-have for me when I travel. Normally at home, I use a loose setting powder to set my concealer and take care of any shininess in my T-zone, but loose powder just isn’t practical when you’re doing your face in airport bathrooms or on trains or planes!

While it doesn’t come with an applicator (bummer), there is a little mirror inside the compact, which makes it convenient for applying on-the-go. I usually put it on with a Real Techniques brush that I’ve had for years.

 

GXVE matte lipstick in “Original Recipe.” Annoyingly, I discovered this lipstick via a targeted ad on Instagram. What can I say; the algorithm knows my soul.

Gwen Stefani founded makeup company GXVE (pronounced “give”), and as anyone who’s ever seen a No Doubt video can tell you, she knows her way around a red lip. I bought this lipstick thinking it’d become just another red in my collection, but it was actually my favorite lipstick of the entire year! The formula is matte without being drying, and lasts a long time, fading minimally and evenly through meals. The “Original Recipe” shade is a perfect, old-fashioned-yet-totally-timeless true red. I’m pretty picky about my lipsticks, especially red ones, and this one has exceeded my expectations.

 

MAC lip pencil in “Cherry.” Who knows why, but there were long periods of time this year when nothing made me feel more confident and put-together than a precisely-executed red lip. When I bought this lip liner, my lip application process became ritualistic: I would dab on a bit of lipstick in the center of my lips, carefully outline their edges with this just-sharpened pencil, fill in the rest of my lip with the pencil, and then apply more lipstick over top. This method is finicky and may seem excessive, but I’ve found that it helps my lips retain their hue much better for much longer, even if I’m going out for dinner or sipping coffee at my desk all day.

There are times when I prefer a more casual approach to lipstick, quickly slicking on a tinted lip balm before I dash out the door. But for the times when I want to be almost painfully precise about my lip, like Marilyn Monroe prepping for a magazine photoshoot, I always reach for this liner.

 

MAC matte lipstick in “De Vil in the Details.” This lipstick is from the limited-edition line that MAC did in collaboration with the movie Cruella, starring Emma Stone, and I bought it while I was watching that movie, because the beauty looks in it were so fucking good that I felt inspired in a way that felt immediate and urgent.

While there are smart internet commentators out there who have their issues with Cruella for various valid reasons, one thing I know for sure is that its approach to costumes and makeup was bold, playful and glamorous. This lipstick, one of a handful of shades MAC released as an homage to the film, is an orange-leaning red – not my usual jam (I prefer a cool-toned red), but high-quality and surprisingly wearable. There were many times this year when I had to get on a Zoom call or record a podcast and didn’t feel put-together enough to be seen, and quickly applying this lipstick was often enough to change that.

 

Coola organic sunscreen. I’ve been trying to get better about wearing sunscreen on my face and visible tattoos whenever I go out, since it’s apparently one of the most impactful ways to keep your skin looking great into middle age and beyond. I certainly don’t remember to do it every time, but I do my best. And it helps enormously to have a face sunscreen that is neither greasy nor chalky. This Coola one is easily the best I’ve ever tried.

As a femme, I really can’t deal with sunscreens that make it difficult or impossible for me to apply makeup on top of them. Coola has somehow created one that seems to dry down just as well as a good moisturizer, creating a smooth canvas for whatever I choose to apply next. Incredible.

 

Converse black leather Chuck Taylor All-Stars. I had wanted these for yeeeears before deciding to finally spring for them. I always worried they were too androgynous-looking for my high-femme style, but over the past several years I’ve been leaning into more of a “soft-femme” or “casual-femme” vibe, so they’ve actually been a fantastic fit with my existing wardrobe.

Chuck Taylors are such an iconic shoe, instantly recognizable on anyone who wears them, and I love that Converse created a black leather version. To my eye, it looks a little more polished, grown-up and (yep) kinky than the standard shoe. It’s ideal and goes with pretty much every casual outfit!

 

Zatchels rainbow midi satchel. This little black satchel has a rainbow panel on the front that’s assembled from various brightly-hued pieces of leather. The craftsmanship of it is beautiful, and I love its little magnetic faux-buckle closures.

It’s not very roomy either, barely having enough space in it for my Kindle, wallet, earbuds and phone, but it goes with almost any outfit and works just as well for casual coffee shop jaunts as it does for fancy soirées. I love Zatchels!

 

Custom-color Nike Air Force 1 Low sneakers. Another pair of sneakers?! Who am I becoming?!

Nike lets you customize the colorways of some of their shoes, through a cool customization tool that lets you pick various different shades for the laces, vamp, sole, etc. While obsessing over the “lovecore” aesthetic, which focuses on pink, red, and hearts, I decided I wanted a lovecore-lookin’ pair of casual shoes for running errands, going on walks, and so on, so I customized a pair of these low-tops that is aggressively pink and red. I call them my “high-femme clown shoes”!

They’ve been great for walking around the city, or just for jazzing up otherwise boring outfits.

 

Unique Vintage pink & red heart-print cardigan. Speaking of lovecore… In seeking out cozy items with a romantic aesthetic, I kept coming back to this cardigan. It’s long and oversized, in a cute slouchy way, and has pockets! After staring at it during multiple late-night online window-shopping sessions, I finally bit the bullet and bought it.

Since then, it’s usually lived on the back of my desk chair, ready to be draped around me whenever I get chilly while working. But I’ve also incorporated it into countless cozy outfits. It goes so well with a lot of my wardrobe and always makes me feel adorable. I wish the material was higher-quality – it’s a viscose/polyester/nylon blend – but hey, what can ya do.

 

What fashion and beauty items thrilled you most this year?