All Reviews

7 Reasons My Book Makes a Great Valentine’s Day Gift!

Kate Sloan

My first book, 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do, has been out for over 5 years, but I still hear from people regularly that it’s changing their sex lives for the better! (And yes, I do still cry every time I receive one of these emails… What can I say; I’m a sentimental pervert who loves helping other perverts become even pervier!)

Valentine’s Day is coming up real soon, and I know there can be a lot of pressure to buy your partner(s) the perfect gift. You could always go classic – flowers and chocolates, anyone? – but if you’re looking to get your sweetheart(s) something a little spicier, might I suggest 101 Kinky Things? Here are 7 reasons it makes a great Valentine’s Day gift!

1. It’s a conversation-starter

People are always asking me for advice on bringing up kinks with a seemingly vanilla partner. That leap of faith can be super scary, because of the risk of judgment or rejection – so why not let this book do the heavy lifting for you?

If you want, you can even mark certain pages with sticky notes so your partner knows exactly what you’re most curious about when they flip through it. And then you can ask them, “Which kinks appeal to you in this book?” There’s a wide range of activities, from mild (kissing, sexting, massage) to wild (electrostimulation, hypnosis, figging), so just about every reader will be able to find something in here to get excited about, regardless of their level of kink experience.

2. It’s full of actionable ideas for spicing things up

Does your sex life feel like it’s stuck in a rut? Not all ruts are bad, per se – sometimes it’s comforting to have a sex life built around acts you both reliably love! – but more variety often leads to more excitement. There’s an actual neurochemical reason for that: as anthropologist Helen Fisher explains in her book Why We Love, trying new things promotes more dopamine production in the brain, which can juice up your libido. Fun!

It’s a real point of pride for me that Kinky Things isn’t just a theoretical treatise on kink – three specific scene ideas are listed for each and every “kinky thing” in the book, so if you read about something that intrigues you, you can try it pretty much immediately. You don’t have to be a kink expert or do a ton of research for most of these activities, so it’s easy to get started, even if you’re a nervous newbie.

3. It’s fun to read together or separately

Some couples have told me that they enjoy leafing through 101 Kinky Things together, discussing each kink and whether it’s something they’d be willing to try. Some other couples have told me that they’ve each read it separately, maybe marking pages they wanted to ask their partner about, or making notes to discuss together afterward. Either way, this book can be a helpful communication tool and intimacy-booster!

4. It’s far more safety- & ethics-focused than Fifty Shades, etc.

Look, I love kinky erotica as much as the next literary perv, but there’s no denying that Fifty Shades promotes some pretty problematic ideas about kink. Consent contracts, creepy stalker behavior, non-consensual toast-eating… It’s a bit of a mess, ethically speaking! Erotica isn’t necessarily obligated to be ethical – it’s just fantasy, after all – but it can become an issue when (as often happens) someone views sexy media as an instruction manual, when it’s very much not intended as such.

To that end, I think 101 Kinky Things would be good to include alongside any kinky erotica you’re buying for your sweetheart. It addresses the ethics and safety considerations of each kink listed therein, and also contains good general information about basic kink concepts like negotiation and aftercare.

5. It adds to your kinky cachet

Look, I’m just saying… There is a certain type of sex nerd whose eyes would light up if they saw this book on your shelf, either because of its glamorously saucy aesthetic, or because they recognize my name from my podcast or somesuch. So if you buy a copy for your (non-monogamous) darlin’, maybe they can impress their other dates with it, you compersive cutie, you!

(On that note, I once saw a man on Tinder who was reading 101 Kinky Things in one of his photos. Obviously I SCREAMED and asked him out! He turned out to be a very good kisser, as you might expect… and I was struck by the socially intelligent move of “flagging” as kinky by including that photo on his profile!)

6. It’s beautifully illustrated

All these years later and I’m still swooning over the gorgeous illustrations Ewa Żak did for Kinky Things. They show a diverse range of body types doing all kinds of sexy stuff, and they set exactly the right tone for the book: classy-yet-depraved! Some of my faves are the ones for submission, medical play, and corsets… What are yours?

7. You can use it for impact play!

I love a good spanking, so naturally I was excited to try out Kinky Things as an impact implement as soon as the first proofs arrived in my hot little hands… and it turned out to be pretty awesome for that purpose! I’d recommend holding it by the outer edge and hitting someone’s ass with either the front/back of the book or its spine, so as to avoid pokey corners. It’s delightfully thuddy – my fave! Could be the perfect end to a romantic Valentine’s date… or maybe just the beginning? 😉

 

You can buy 101 Kinky Things on Bookshop.org or wherever you get your books! Thanks, babes, and I hope you have a rollicking good Valentine’s Day no matter how you spend it 💖

Review: Chalovelo Thrum rabbit vibe

Kate Sloan

I’m doing a weird thing today and reviewing a vibrator I’ve already reviewed, at the request of the company who sells it. But you know what? Maybe I’ll feel differently about it this time around. Me and my vagina have aged nearly a whole year since that last review, after all!

What is the Chalovelo Thrum?

The Thrum is a rabbit vibrator, i.e. it provides vaginal and clitoral stimulation simultaneously. The external arm is fairly standard – it just vibrates – whereas the internal arm vibrates, massages the G-spot area with textured beads that swell in and out on the shaft, and mechanically strokes the A-spot with its gently upturned tip. It’s an ambitious multitasker, that’s for sure!

The Thrum currently retails for about $60. It’s a rechargeable vibe made of silicone and ABS plastic, and is IPX6 water-resistant, meaning you can wash it in the sink or use it in the shower, but shouldn’t submerge it in water.

Things I like about the Chalovelo Thrum:

  • Excellent A-spot stimulation: Man oh man does my A-spot ever like this toy. The tip of the Thrum’s shaft – which is shaped vaguely like the head of a cock, complete with mild coronal ridge – moves up and down in a stroking motion, like a partner’s fingers can. There are 3 steady speeds followed by patterns, some of which are rhythmically consistent and some of which are more frustratingly off-kilter.
  • Individually controllable arms: As ever, I appreciate that you can control the external arm and the internal arm separately from one another, and can even use one while the other is turned off. My G-spot and A-spot may want a different intensity of sensation from my clit at various points in the arousal process, so it’s good to be able to control these components individually.
  • Clit arm shape: The external arm of this toy kinda looks like a dolphin balancing a ball on its nose. At first glance, it may seem odd, but it’s surprisingly versatile – depending on how I position it, I can get broader stimulation with the thickest part of the shaft, or more pinpointed stimulation from the tip. My desires in this regard might change throughout a session, so it’s nice to have options.
  • Clit arm flexibility: I truly think the (much pricier) We-Vibe Nova 2 revolutionized the rabbit-vibe category, by making its clitoral arm very flexible, so that you don’t lose clitoral contact if you thrust the toy in and out during use. Lots of other sex toy companies have taken cues from We-Vibe in this area and are making rabbits with bendy clit arms now – and it works really well here, giving me leeway to thrust the toy if I want to, and even to position the clit arm higher on my clitoral hood or lower on the tip of my clit depending on my mood.
  • Price: $60 isn’t bad for a body-safe, rechargeable rabbit vibe.

Things I don’t like about the Chalovelo Thrum:

  • Buzzy clit vibes: The external arm is a make-or-break aspect of a rabbit vibe, because most vulva-owners get off primarily (or exclusively) from clit stimulation. As such, I wish this toy’s clitoral vibrations were rumblier and stronger. As-is, their intensity is middling, and their buzzy timbre prevents me from being able to reach orgasm with this toy because my clit gets a little desensitized and disengaged after a few minutes.
  • Only 3 steady speeds: Both the internal and the external arm of the Thrum have 3 steady speeds followed by 7 patterns. I’m not a big patterns person and would prefer more basic speeds to choose from. There’s not much variation between the speeds, either, and the amount of patterns feels like an attempt to compensate for the lackluster motor.
  • Short battery life: Up to 50 minutes of use after a 2.5-hour charging time… ain’t great.
  • Loud: The mechanical whirr of this toy would definitely be audible by someone in the same room as you, and might even be audible through a closed door in some cases.
  • Linty: Whatever silicone formulation its makers picked for this toy, it’s wildly prone to picking up lint, dust, hairs, etc., so you may want to give the toy a quick rinse before each use.
  • Both modes are on by default: This wouldn’t bug everybody, but it bugged me – as soon as you turn on the toy, both arms turn on (as opposed to having a ‘standby’ mode from which you can choose which functions to turn on), and the sensation can be pretty jarring, especially if the toy is already inside you at that point. At one point this made me shout “Whoa! Jesus Christ!” so loud that my wife heard me through a wall.

Final thoughts

I wish Chalovelo made a version of the Thrum that was just the A-spot-stroking portion, because I loved that part of the toy! I kept thinking about how hard I would be able to come if I could just pair that stroking with a clitoral vibe that is actually rumbly, strong, and has more than 3 steady speeds, because unfortunately, the Thrum‘s clit arm just doesn’t do the trick for me.

I still think it’s a nifty rabbit vibe, though, with functions I’ve rarely seen elsewhere. The way the textured beads on the shaft massage my vaginal walls is cool, and the clit arm’s offbeat shape makes it versatile. I just wish they’d blessed this toy with a better, rumblier motor, and ideally a longer battery life. But for $60, the Thrum is a decent rabbit at a decent price – and it’s hard to hate a vibrator that looks like a dolphin doing a trick.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions on my own.

The Best Sex Toys of 2025

Kate Sloan

Yep, it’s that time again… I’m gonna tell you about my favorite sex toys of the year!

2025 has been a total shitshow politically, and was one of the most challenging (and yet also most joyful) years I have personally lived through, what with moving to New York, throwing myself back into improv, getting painfully rejected by a crush, and starting a new long-distance relationship. (Damn, did that all really happen in just one year?!)

But despite all the ups and downs of the year, one thing remained true: My sex toys were always there for me. It’s always calming to know that no matter how many cuties break my heart, and no matter how many fascists try to break my spirit, I can still enjoy the simple pleasures of a tool-assisted wank, and the positive neurochemical effects of an orgasm or three.

So, without further ado, here are the sex toys I adored most in 2025…

Most photos via the toys’ respective manufacturers; some via me

Old favorites

They may not be new, or flashy, or exciting (though some of them are!), but here are the top-drawer faves that I’ve owned longer than a year and still use regularly:

 

My favorite new toys of the year

I’ll be honest with you: There weren’t many new toys I liked enough this year to put on this list! Only a handful, really, but I still think they’re worth shouting out. Here are my picks…

#5: Valm 8-inch realistic dildo ($110 at Valm)

This is just a big ol’ realistic dick. And as regular readers of this blog know, I am a fan of dick!

As a colorful femme who eschews neutral shades, I always prefer a bright-‘n’-bold shade over skin tones, so I was thrilled that Valm custom-made this dildo for me in a delicious orange-to-fuchsia ombré. In use, the toy strikes a satisfying balance between firmness and softness, and its measurements are perfect for when I get into a size-queen-y mood. Big recommend (literally)!

Image via Peepshow

#4: Solina Aura ($50 at Peepshow)

Another silicone dick? Yep. What can I say; I know what I like!

I find this one a little easier to thrust with than some of the previous Solina dildos I’ve tried, because the Aura’s balls and suction-cup base act as a handle. Its 6.1″ of insertable length is ideal for hitting my A-spot. This dildo is also modeled after ‘uncut’ cocks, which I appreciate, as someone who has enjoyed both circumcised and uncircumcised penises in my sexual history but has rarely seen the latter represented in the sex toy industry!

L to R: Lush Mini, Lush 4, and Lush 3

#3: Lovense Lush 4 / Lush Mini ($129 and $129 at SheVibe, respectively)

I once again did a lot of long-distance play this year, and Lovense toys made it more intuitive and connective than ever.

The difference between these two vibes is their size; I find the Lush Mini easier to insert without necessarily being wet/aroused already, while the Lush 4 feels slightly more satisfying during orgasm. These wonderfully rumbly G-spot vibes can almost feel like a partner is fingering me, when controlled by someone with skill and patience!

#2: Lelo Switch ($200 at Lovehoney)

Before I compliment this toy, I gotta roast it. The Switch is a perfect example of why Lelo’s reputation has gone downhill: the Switch is overpriced, and boasts some gimmicky features that never quite work the way you want them to. In this case, they’ve made a mini wand vibrator that has two motors – one in the head of the wand (as you’d expect) and one in the handle, which can be used as a G-spot vibrator when you flip the toy around.

I didn’t like dual-ended toys when Tantus tried it back in 2014 and I still don’t like them now, for the same basic reason as back then: when you’re continually switching back and forth between the toy’s two ends (as the Switch’s name encourages you to do), you end up getting lube and/or bodily fluids all over your hands. I guess some people might be into that, but for me it’s a bit of a sensory nightmare.

That being said… This is a strong, rumbly, waterproof, and very quiet wand with a wide range of vibration settings. It’s also visually stunning, as Lelo toys often are. And it seems to have fewer mechanical issues than Lelo’s previous attempt in this category, the Smart Wand. It’s one of the better things Lelo has put out in years, which admittedly isn’t saying much – and yet, it has definitely earned its 2nd-place spot on this list with the amount of orgasms it’s given me.

#1: Magic Wand Waterproof ($190 at Peepshow)

I mean, let’s face it: nothing was ever gonna top this one. The launch of the long-awaited Magic Wand Waterproof was the most exciting news in the sex toy industry all year, if you ask me. (And yeah, I might be slightly biased, given that I spent a year of my life interviewing people about the Magic Wand and creating a podcast miniseries about it, but I still think I’m right!)

As if it wasn’t astonishing enough that they managed to engineer a waterproof version of this decades-old classic, Vibratex also gave this toy more power than any of their previous wands, making this the strongest rechargeable/non-electric wand I’ve ever tried. It actually ended up being a little too strong for me, so I still reach for my Magic Wand Rechargeable more often – but I’m soooo glad the Waterproof exists, especially for those of you who like your vibes jackhammer-strong.

 

What were your favorite sex toys this year, dear readers? Feel free to let me know in the comments!

Review: VVD RiderGo G-spot fingering vibrator

Kate Sloan

I’ve been really into having my G-spot fingered lately. Usually I prefer deeper penetration, but my G-spot received a lot of attention toward the end of a lascivious first date recently, and so that type of stimulation has been on my mind: the way it makes me gasp and twitch, the balance it strikes between “a little too much” and “yes please more,” and its tendency to make me squirt. G-spot play has a lot to recommend it!

I was intrigued, then, to receive an email from VVD – makers of the Vkini vibrating bra and the Rider Desire sex saddle, both of which I’ve previously reviewed and enjoyed – offering me their new vibrator, which is designed to mimic G-spot fingering. It’s called the RiderGo.

What is the VVD RiderGo vibrator?

VVD’s flagship product is their Rider Desire sex saddle, a rideable toy in the vein of something like a Sybian or Cowgirl, only a whole lot smaller, lighter, and cheaper than those plug-in behemoths of yore. Like many vibes of its type, the Rider Desire came with a few different interchangeable attachments, each with a slightly differing shape and function.

However, as I noted in my Rider Desire review, rideable vibrators are sometimes too bulky, heavy, and awkward to be practical, especially for those of us whose bodies have limitations – which is why it’s so neat that VVD has since launched the RiderGo, a handheld toy that uses the same magnetic attachment system as the Rider Desire.

If you’ve got both toys (which are conveniently sold as a bundle), you can use any/all of the attachments on either the handheld RiderGo base unit, or the rideable Rider Desire base unit, depending on whether you’re in the mood to hold the toy yourself or hump it hands-free. How versatile!

Interestingly, the RiderGo isn’t just a handle for attachments – it comes with its own attachment, the tip of which strokes up and down like a partner massaging your G-spot with their fingers. Its base unit also features a clitoral vibrator – so, in effect, the RiderGo is a rabbit vibrator that features the rare ability to swap out the vaginal arm for other attachments (not included), should you so choose.

Things I like about the VVD RiderGo vibrator:

  • Powerful stroking: This toy’s fingering-esque G-spot stroking function is genuinely great. The tip of the shaft moves up and down quickly in a manner that really does resemble strong human fingers. It doesn’t weaken or slow down under pressure at all, even when I squeeze my vag muscles as hard as I can – this is extremely rare among sex toys of this type! If you like having your G-spot fingered fast and firm, you should consider this toy.
  • Independently controllable functions: The finger-like stroking is controlled using a separate button from the clitoral vibration, so you can stick to using one or the other if you want. If you remove the attachment altogether, you can even use the base unit as a standalone clitoral vibrator, which is useful when you’re still getting turned on and aren’t ready for penetration yet.
  • Versatile clit stimulator: The RiderGo’s clitoral arm is highly flexible/bendy, so it moves with you when you thrust the toy, maintaining clitoral contact the whole time (yay!!). I also appreciate that it has a tongue-like protrusion which feels great on my clitoral hood and actually stays there instead of sliding around uncomfortably, because my clit’s really sensitive and prefers indirect stimulation.
  • Stimulates clit even without vibration: While we’re talking about clit stim – if I turn on this toy’s thrusting function but leave its vibration off, it stimulates my clit nonetheless, because the thrusting motion rubs the toy’s external arm against my clit on each thrust. It’s not enough to get me off, but it certainly gets me turned on/warmed up, which makes the ensuing vibration feel better.
  • Handle design: The looped handle is a great design choice for a thrusting toy, because these toys tend to wriggle their way out of your vag unless anchored in place somehow; I usually put a pillow between my legs for this purpose, but with this toy, I can just thread one finger through the handle’s loop and it takes very little hand strength for me to keep the toy stationary while it thrusts. A thoughtful touch!
  • Modular: It really is pretty cool that you can swap out this attachment for the ones that come with the Rider Desire for some additional variety… although, of course, not everyone will be able to afford both toys.
  • USB-C charging: I’m seeing more and more sex toy companies adopt USB-C for their products, and I’m always glad when they do, because it means one less cable to pack when I travel.
  • Waterproof: It’s IPX7 waterproof, meaning you can wash it in the sink or use it in the bath or shower without fear of ruining it.
  • Price: $79 is a decent price for a powerful, rechargeable dual-stim vibe that mechanically strokes your G-spot, but it’s an even better deal if you bundle it with the Rider Desire and use my coupon code (KateS) to get 12% off: the whole shebang comes out to $290 and they’ll even throw in a bottle of water-based lube for ya.

Things I don’t like about the VVD RiderGo vibrator:

  • Buzzy vibrations: I wish these clitoral vibrations were rumblier. As-is, they’re powerful enough to get me off – often enjoyably! – but just buzzy enough that I noticeably lose some clitoral sensitivity by the end of a session, resulting in weaker (albeit reliable/easy) orgasms.
  • Too few speeds, too close together: The RiderGo’s vibration and stroking functions both only have three steady speeds followed by a handful of patterns. IMO this is not enough steady speeds, especially since there’s not much variation between those three speeds, so I often don’t get the noticeable, immediate boost in arousal/stimulation I am used to getting when I turn a toy’s speed up.
  • Too straight: Despite VVD’s insistence that a gentle 15° curve is ideal for hitting the G-spot, I actually find that this toy’s shaft is too straight to consistently hit mine. It’s more of a teasing massage of the general area than a targeted G-spot onslaught. I wish there was enough shaft length for me to be able to slide this toy into my A-spot instead, because its shape is much better suited to that.
  • Loud: As with many toys that thrust or stroke in this manner, the RiderGo makes a fairly loud mechanical sound in use. That being said, the clitoral vibration is comparatively quiet; it’s only the G-spot “fingering” that’s loud.
  • Short battery life: The RiderGo’s battery only lasts about 45 minutes on a 90-minute charge, which is not ideal. I don’t like feeling rushed!
  • Ill-considered power button: Unusually for a sex toy, the RiderGo can be turned on or off by short-pressing its power button, not long-pressing (which does nothing). I accidentally turned the toy off a few times during testing by mistakenly hitting the power button while trying to change settings.
  • Not anal-safe: While the magnet that affixes the attachment to the base unit is pretty strong, I think there’s a chance the attachment could pop off inside you, so I wouldn’t recommend this toy for anal play.

Final thoughts

Even if the VVD RiderGo was just a rabbit vibe, as it appears to be, it would be plenty impressive. Its G-spot strokes are intense and unrelenting, its clitoral vibrations are strong (albeit somewhat buzzy), and its silicone and ABS plastic construction is high-quality.

But it’s not just a rabbit vibe – its shaft can be swapped out modularly for other attachments sold with VVD’s Sybian-esque Rider Desire, offering you extra versatility down the road. I find the RiderGo’s buzzy vibrations, high noise level, undervaried settings, and barely-curved shaft a bit disappointing, so this isn’t destined to be my favorite vibe – but even so, it was able to get me off reliably when I tested it, which speaks to the sheer power of its G-spot stroking. I think plenty of rabbit-vibe connoisseurs would really dig the RiderGo.

Oh, and I have some deals to share with my readers, courtesy of VVD! You can get the RiderGo, the Rider Desire, or a bundle of the two for a reduced price: my discount code KateS gets you 12% off, site-wide.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

My Ultimate Sex Nerd Reading List

Kate Sloan

You might expect a long-time sex toy reviewer to get asked about her favorite toys all the time – and I do! – but I also get asked surprisingly often about what books I recommend. I’ve been a lifelong devout sex nerd, and these are the books I most often recommend to people – at least, so far! Life is long, and there’s always more books to devour 🤩

 

Sex advice/technique

  • Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski is an absolute classic in the sex-nerd canon. Read it if you’ve ever struggled to understand your libido (or lack thereof), or if your relationship is suffering from a libido mismatch. It’s the original source text for numerous concepts I reference all the time, like “responsive desire” vs. “spontaneous desire,” and “sexual brakes” vs. “sexual accelerator.”
  • Nagoski’s newer book Come Together is also fantastic, and goes into more detail on science-backed ways to maintain a sexual spark in a long-term relationship.
  • Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon is a delightful guide to having sex with women (both cis and trans), for anyone who plans on doing that. It might also help you understand your body/sexuality better if you are a woman.
  • Sexting by Tina Horn is indeed a wonderful guide to sexting, but also contains great advice for anyone who wants to become a better sexual communicator in general.
  • Becoming Cliterate by Dr. Laurie Mintz is a good introduction to the orgasm gap and the importance of clitoral stimulation.
  • She Comes First by Ian Kerner is generally considered the best cunnilingus guide.
  • Juice by Stephanie Haerdle is the best book about the history and politics squirting, while Female Ejaculation & the G-Spot by Deborah Sundahl is the best instructional book on squirting.

 

Dating, flirting, & hooking up

  • Getting It by Allison Moon is a guide to casual sex, covering a wide range of skills, from broaching the STI testing conversation to asking for what you want in bed to ending things gracefully when you catch feels for your FWB. Cool to see a book that focuses more on the emotional/mental aspects of sex than the physical aspects.
  • The Offline Dating Method by Camille Virginia is a cute and fun (albeit quite hetero) guide to meeting potential partners IRL while out and about, and starting + sustaining conversations with strangers.

 

Love & relationships

  • Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel is a couples’ therapist’s guide to maintaining a good balance of safety vs. adventure in your relationship, which Perel convincingly argues is the key to keeping sexual desire alive in the long-term. Perel’s other book The State of Affairs is a good read if you’re seeking to understand (and ideally avoid) infidelity in monogamous or non-monogamous partnerships.
  • Love in a F*cked-Up World by Dean Spade is a great book on relationships in general – romantic ones as well as platonic, familial and communal ones. An especially good read for leftists who have butted heads with other leftists over interpersonal issues and would rather refocus on what matters most: love, connection, compassion, and liberation.
  • Why We Love by Helen Fisher is an informative read on the psychology of romantic love. I have some issues with it (mainly, it’s very mono-normative and uses flimsy evidence to support some of its points), but it’s a good primer on how romantic love works in the brain.
  • The Monster Under the Bed by JoEllen Notte is an amazing book on sex & depression – it covers how to keep your sex life strong despite the challenges of depression, how to adjust to the libido-dampening effects of certain antidepressants, and how to develop more compassion for yourself, among other things.

 

Polyamory & non-monogamy

  • Polysecure and Polywise by Jessica Fern are the two polyamory books I recommend most often. They’re about finding emotional security in polyamorous relationships, and offer actionable strategies for individuals, couples, and polycules to build more resilience and trust in their connections.
  • Building Open Relationships by Dr. Liz Powell covers some more advanced non-monogamy topics, like how to de-escalate a relationship, or how to handle grief in polyamorous relationships.

 

LGBTQIA+ identities & issues

  • 200 Words to Help You Talk About Sexuality & Gender is a book I wrote that defines 200 words from the sex & gender lexicon.
  • My New Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein is what I always recommend to people who are like, “I think I might be trans and/or nonbinary – now what?!” It’ll help you understand your gender more deeply and decide what you want to do with that information.
  • The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward is a fascinating study of how straightness as a construct is pretty damaging, especially to straight people themselves. Definitely one of the books that has stayed with me most after reading it.
  • Ace by Angela Chen is a good book on asexuality: what it means, why it’s so misunderstood, how ace people can connect better with their identity & community, etc.

 

Kink & BDSM

 

Sex toys

 

Philosophy, politics, & culture

 

Silly stuff

 

What books would be on your must-read list for sex nerds?