All Reviews

My Ultimate Sex Nerd Reading List

Kate Sloan

You might expect a long-time sex toy reviewer to get asked about her favorite toys all the time – and I do! – but I also get asked surprisingly often about what books I recommend. I’ve been a lifelong devout sex nerd, and these are the books I most often recommend to people – at least, so far! Life is long, and there’s always more books to devour 🤩

 

Sex advice/technique

  • Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski is an absolute classic in the sex-nerd canon. Read it if you’ve ever struggled to understand your libido (or lack thereof), or if your relationship is suffering from a libido mismatch. It’s the original source text for numerous concepts I reference all the time, like “responsive desire” vs. “spontaneous desire,” and “sexual brakes” vs. “sexual accelerator.”
  • Nagoski’s newer book Come Together is also fantastic, and goes into more detail on science-backed ways to maintain a sexual spark in a long-term relationship.
  • Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon is a delightful guide to having sex with women (both cis and trans), for anyone who plans on doing that. It might also help you understand your body/sexuality better if you are a woman.
  • Sexting by Tina Horn is indeed a wonderful guide to sexting, but also contains great advice for anyone who wants to become a better sexual communicator in general.
  • Becoming Cliterate by Dr. Laurie Mintz is a good introduction to the orgasm gap and the importance of clitoral stimulation.
  • She Comes First by Ian Kerner is generally considered the best cunnilingus guide.
  • Juice by Stephanie Haerdle is the best book about the history and politics squirting, while Female Ejaculation & the G-Spot by Deborah Sundahl is the best instructional book on squirting.

 

Dating, flirting, & hooking up

  • Getting It by Allison Moon is a guide to casual sex, covering a wide range of skills, from broaching the STI testing conversation to asking for what you want in bed to ending things gracefully when you catch feels for your FWB. Cool to see a book that focuses more on the emotional/mental aspects of sex than the physical aspects.
  • The Offline Dating Method by Camille Virginia is a cute and fun (albeit quite hetero) guide to meeting potential partners IRL while out and about, and starting + sustaining conversations with strangers.

 

Love & relationships

  • Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel is a couples’ therapist’s guide to maintaining a good balance of safety vs. adventure in your relationship, which Perel convincingly argues is the key to keeping sexual desire alive in the long-term. Perel’s other book The State of Affairs is a good read if you’re seeking to understand (and ideally avoid) infidelity in monogamous or non-monogamous partnerships.
  • Love in a F*cked-Up World by Dean Spade is a great book on relationships in general – romantic ones as well as platonic, familial and communal ones. An especially good read for leftists who have butted heads with other leftists over interpersonal issues and would rather refocus on what matters most: love, connection, compassion, and liberation.
  • Why We Love by Helen Fisher is an informative read on the psychology of romantic love. I have some issues with it (mainly, it’s very mono-normative and uses flimsy evidence to support some of its points), but it’s a good primer on how romantic love works in the brain.
  • The Monster Under the Bed by JoEllen Notte is an amazing book on sex & depression – it covers how to keep your sex life strong despite the challenges of depression, how to adjust to the libido-dampening effects of certain antidepressants, and how to develop more compassion for yourself, among other things.

 

Polyamory & non-monogamy

  • Polysecure and Polywise by Jessica Fern are the two polyamory books I recommend most often. They’re about finding emotional security in polyamorous relationships, and offer actionable strategies for individuals, couples, and polycules to build more resilience and trust in their connections.
  • Building Open Relationships by Dr. Liz Powell covers some more advanced non-monogamy topics, like how to de-escalate a relationship, or how to handle grief in polyamorous relationships.

 

LGBTQIA+ identities & issues

  • 200 Words to Help You Talk About Sexuality & Gender is a book I wrote that defines 200 words from the sex & gender lexicon.
  • My New Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein is what I always recommend to people who are like, “I think I might be trans and/or nonbinary – now what?!” It’ll help you understand your gender more deeply and decide what you want to do with that information.
  • The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward is a fascinating study of how straightness as a construct is pretty damaging, especially to straight people themselves. Definitely one of the books that has stayed with me most after reading it.
  • Ace by Angela Chen is a good book on asexuality: what it means, why it’s so misunderstood, how ace people can connect better with their identity & community, etc.

 

Kink & BDSM

 

Sex toys

 

Philosophy, politics, & culture

 

Silly stuff

 

What books would be on your must-read list for sex nerds?

The BEST long-distance sex toys – at the best Black Friday prices!

Kate Sloan
All images courtesy of Lovense

The other day, I was on the phone with a far-away person I’m newly dating, and I whined, “How am I going to get through the next few months without fucking you?!” This person and I likely won’t be able to see each other IRL again until the new year, which is causing me great consternation, because frankly, I want them to tear me apart.

They laughed good-naturedly, like they understood exactly how I feel – and then they said, “Innovations like this will help,” while sharply buzzing the Lovense Lush Mini that was inside me at the time. I gasped when I felt their teasing touch from 2,500 miles away, just as I would if they had slid two fingers inside me while lying next to me in bed.

These ‘teledildonic’ technologies (as they’re called in the biz) still astonish me whenever I use them. I never could’ve dreamed, as a horny swoony young thing in the early days of the social internet, that someday even my most geographically distant crushes could fuck me senseless, without so much as setting foot in my country – and that it could actually feel intimate, romantic, and hot. The internet has certainly wrought many evils on the world, but I regard teledildonics as one of its more positive achievements, a massive step forward in the human ability to connect.

All this to say: long-distance sex toy company Lovense is having a Black Friday sale right now, and I am more than qualified to tell you which of their toys you should snap up, whether you plan on using them solo, with a nearby partner, or with someone who lives hundreds (if not thousands) of miles away from you.

L to R: Lush Mini, Edge 2, and Domi 2

Lush Mini G-spot vibrator (full review here) – $129

My current fave in the Lovense lineup, this one is comfy, quiet, and deliciously rumbly. My G-spot is very picky when it comes to vibration, but the deep resonance and wide range of these vibrations make it feel wonderful, even throughout lengthy sessions lasting up to 2 hours (!!). This toy is so well-shaped for G-spot stimulation that it can even make me squirt. Pretty amazing stuff.

Edge 2 vibrating butt plug – on sale for $89

This is one of my absolute faves to use on a partner – specifically, a prostate-possessing partner – because it has two different motors which you can control separately, one that massages the perineum and one that targets the prostate more directly. The angle of the plug is adjustable, so it’s a good pick whether you like a lot of prostate pressure or not much at all.

Domi 2 wand vibrator (full review here) – on sale for $89

It’s a known fact that I love wand vibrators, so of course I enjoy Lovense’s wand! It’s not as rumbly/powerful as some full-size wands I’ve tried, but its range of intensities is nonetheless impressive, and I enjoy its petite form factor, which makes it more accessible to me than those heftier wands. It’s even small enough to use during PIV sex in certain positions.

L to R: Ambi, Flexer, Nora, and Max 2

Ambi bullet vibrator – on sale for $35!!

Probably the best deal in this whole sale! The Ambi is Lovense’s answer to other rumbly bullets like my beloved Tango X. Its cool handle shape makes it easier to hold in various positions, and its shape gives you tons of sensation options, from broad to pinpoint pleasure. If you’ve been wanting to experience Lovense’s legendarily rumbly motors, $35 for an Ambi is probably the best deal you’re ever gonna get!

Flexer dual-stimulation wearable vibe – on sale for $89

Intrigued by the bestselling Lush, but prefer something with clitoral stimulation? The Flexer is for you! Its internal portion is shaped to curve right into your G-spot just like the Lush does, but it also has an external arm that delivers deep, rumbly clitoral vibrations. A must-have for fans of blended orgasms – plus it’s comfy when ‘worn’ out and about (especially with a good water-based lube, reapplied as needed) so it’s great for discreet public scenes.

Nora & Max 2 rabbit vibe + vibrating stroker bundle – on sale for $179

One of the coolest things about Lovense’s teledildonic toys is that some of them can ‘talk to’ each other, making long-distance sex feel even more like sex. For example, the faster you thrust the Nora rabbit vibe in and out of yourself, the more intensely your partner’s Max 2 stroker will vibrate… or, the faster you thrust in and out of your Max 2 stroker, the more intensely your partner’s Nora rabbit will vibrate. My wife and I have enjoyed using these toys both together and separately, and this Black Friday sale is a fantastic deal on the duo!

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write fair and honest reviews of these products. As always, all writing and opinions are truthful and are my own.

Review: Lovense Spinel app-controlled thrusting sex machine

Kate Sloan

What is the Lovense Spinel sex machine?

Regular readers of this blog already know that I adore sex toys made by Lovense, the leading company in the long-distance sex toys game. I was in an LDR with my wife for over 7 years before we were finally able to move in together, and I’m also newly dating someone who lives 2,500 miles from me, so trust me when I say: I have put these toys through their paces, and they hold up.

The Spinel is the latest release from this innovative company. It’s described as an “app-controlled multi-attachment thrusting vibrating & heating sex machine.” As you may know, a “sex machine” is traditionally a big, bulky behemoth that can piston a dildo in and out of you at top speeds. With the Spinel, however, Lovense is trying to bring you sex-machine-level power, at a way lower price point and smaller size than most of the classic sex machines.

The Spinel consists of many different parts, which can be paired and swapped out in various ways:

  • A base unit, which powers the thrusting and has buttons on it that can be used to control the toy in lieu of using the Lovense app
  • A “G-curve” attachment, which is shaped to target the G-spot with its deep curve and its broad, flat head
  • Another attachment which is straighter, longer, has some lightly rippled texture along its shaft, and can additionally heat up and vibrate (which the G-curve attachment cannot)
  • A “clitoral base” attachment which can be optionally paired with either of the other two attachments, to rub against your clit with each thrust
  • A detachable, angle-adjustable suction cup stand, which enables you to affix the toy to a flat, hard surface (like a shower wall or tile floor) for hands-free use
  • A detachable, angle-adjustable handle for handheld usage
L to R: handle, clitoral base attachment, G-curve attachment, non-curved attachment, and base unit

Things I like about the Lovense Spinel

  • Strong, fast thrusting: If you like to get well-and-truly railed, you’ll probably enjoy this toy. Its thrusting is much stronger and more decisive than something like a Fun Factory Stronic (RIP). Whether I’m targeting my G-spot with the “G-curve” attachment, or massaging my whole upper vaginal wall and A-spot with the straight-but-gently-rippled attachment, the thrusting feels really good. Pairing it with a good clit vibe leads to some intense orgasms, and this toy can even make me squirt. Yay!
  • Modular parts: I love how much customizability you get with the Spinel. You can use either of its two penetrative attachments, swapping them out as desired, and can also pair either/both of them with the included “clitoral base attachment” to add some clit stim into the mix (although it didn’t work so well for me – more on that later). The removable attachments also make this toy easy to wash – you can clean the attachments with soap and water, without having to get the base unit wet (it’s only splashproof, not fully waterproof, and only when the charging port cap is on).
  • Multiple functions: The intense thrusting served up by the Spinel would be enough on its own for many users, but it also has a heating function and a vibration function, albeit only when you’re using the non-curved attachment (the curved one only thrusts, for some reason). The vibration is nice: rumbly, good range of intensities, and doesn’t distract too much from the main event, the thrusting.
  • App controllability: As with all the other Lovense toys I’ve tried, this one connects quickly and easily via Bluetooth to Lovense’s app, which enables you to control the toy yourself or hand over control to a long-distance partner, among numerous other functionalities. In the Spinel’s case, you can control the vibration strength and thrusting speed independently from one another – although, if you’re using the “G-curve” attachment, you can only control thrusting, since that one doesn’t vibrate.
  • Noise level: It’s surprisingly and unprecedentedly quiet for a fucking machine. Usually they whir and creak intolerably, but this one just sounds like the gentle thwack-thwack-thwack of far-away helicopter rotors, even when you turn up the thrusting to high speeds.
  • Multiple ways to hold (or not hold) it: The Spinel’s removable suction-cup base works great, and it’s easy to adjust the angle the way you want it. It also comes with a different, handle-shaped base for those who prefer using toys in a handheld way. When using the non-curved attachment, I tended to just hold the base unit in my hand without a handle or base, and that worked well too. These different options for holding the toy (or using it hands-free) make it a lot more versatile, not to mention much more accessible for people who struggle with chronic pain/muscle weakness/etc. like me.
  • Portability: The Spinel is way smaller than your standard-issue sex machine, and could therefore be carted around to sex dates, vacations, etc. I wish that it came with a nicer bag or box to carry around all its various components in, but the box it came in works fine for this purpose. The Spinel is a good option for anyone who wants a fucking machine but doesn’t have much living space to spare.
  • Price: As far as fucking machines and thrusters go, the Spinel is (I think) fairly priced, at $199. It delivers a lot of thrusting power, and includes a versatile set of attachments and accessories, which makes it a particularly good deal compared to other high-powered thrusting toys like the Hismith Premium 3.0 ($420), the VVD Sex Saddle ($350), and the Velvet Thruster ($255).
  • Turbo mode: The Spinel’s “turbo mode” instantly speeds up the thrusting to 150% of its current speed, regardless of what setting you’re on. Normally I don’t like this type of feature because it’s usually implemented in a way that makes it too easy to trigger accidentally, but in the Spinel’s case, you can only activate this mode by either holding down the thruster button on the base unit for 3 seconds, or tapping-and-holding for 3 seconds on a specific part of the app interface. This pretty much ensures that the toy only goes “turbo mode” when you actually want it to – such as during the lead-up to orgasm, when it could be most useful.
  • Aesthetic: The Spinel’s base unit features a pale pink-and-blue gradient which I really dig (trans pride flag colors, anyone?). When it’s set up on its suction-cup base, it almost looks like a fancy podcast mic…
  • USB-C charging: Most Lovense toys use a proprietary charger instead, so it’s nice for once that I could charge this toy with the same charger I use for my laptop if need be.
Featuring clitoral base attachment + G-curve attachment on suction cup base

Things I don’t like about the Lovense Spinel

  • Clitoral base attachment: While it’s an awesome idea to include a clit-stimulating attachment with a toy like this (since, as I’ve written here countless times before, the majority of people with vulvas require clit stimulation to reach orgasm), in practice there is very little distance between the penetrative part of the toy and its clitoral stimulator, so the clit part ends up bumping my urethra/the underside of my clitoral shaft instead. It pummels that area pretty intensely, because of the strength of the toy’s thrusting, which isn’t my jam but might be somebody else’s.
  • Too fast: This is very much a matter of personal taste, but the Spinel’s lowest thrusting speed is faster than most humans could sustain. Could be great for you if you enjoy really fast thrusting (and I know lots of people do!), but I am a person who often says “Slower, please!” while partners are fingerbanging me (for instance), so I always wish there were some slow-but-hard thrusting settings on these things. I also find that the Spinel’s thrusts feel less impactful the more you increase the thrusting speed – as with many other thrusters, it just starts to feel like vibration after a while.
  • Sometimes stalls out: If I try to push the toy too deep inside me, or hold onto its handle too firmly, sometimes the mechanics stall out, interrupting the rhythm of the thrusting. The toy will then work extra hard to catch up, so the next few thrusts afterward are jarringly firm.
  • Slightly finicky setup: I’d recommend keeping the instructions handy the first few times you switch out attachments, etc., as it’s a little tricky to figure out initially, although pretty easy and fast thereafter.
  • Issues with the handle base: Try as I might, I wasn’t physically able to push down the button which presumably allows you to change the toy’s angle while using the handheld handle – but, as I mentioned, I have a disability which affects muscle strength, so maybe the average person would be able to do it. Sucked to not be able to use what would otherwise be a rad accessibility feature, though! Additionally, when you try to use the handle at the same time as the non-curved dildo attachment, the handle faces away from the person being penetrated – so it’s really more useful for partnered play than for solo play.
  • Probably not anal-safe: Listen, you could try it… but I wouldn’t recommend it. There’s always a chance, albeit a tiny one, that the attachment could untwist, pop off, and get stuck in you. Stick to vaginal use for this one.
  • Long charging time: You have to charge the Spinel for 2 hours and 40 minutes to get it fully juiced up, which is longer than most other Lovense toys take to charge (makes sense, given the power of the Spinel’s thrusts!). That charge will last you a maximum of 4 hours and 17 minutes.
  • Charging port cap: Much like my otherwise-beloved Magic Wand Waterproof, the Spinel has a silicone cap which covers its charging port, but which is not attached to the body of the toy in any way. This makes it super easy to lose the cap (in fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve already lost mine), which renders the base unit non-waterproof, so you’ll need to take extra care to avoid getting water in the charging port when cleaning. On the plus side, Lovense does include one spare charging port cap in the box incase you lose yours too.
  • Can only use included attachments: Since there are some fucking machines (like the Hismith mentioned above) that let you use dildo attachments from any brand that makes compatible ones, it feels worth mentioning that the Spinel can only be used with the two attachments Lovense makes for it, at least currently. These attachments top out at a 1.53″ diameter and 5.29″ insertable length, so users who prefer larger penetration are outta luck.

Final thoughts

I’ve been particularly adoring Lovense toys recently, as they enable me to connect with long-distance sweethearts almost as intimately as if we were in the same room together. My favorite lately has been the Lush Mini, which satisfies my G-spot just fine, most of the time… but there are other times when that spot craves to get truly and utterly fucked, in which case a powerful sex machine like the Spinel can give me what I want.

For myself personally, I found it a bit too fast, and wished it had some slower settings… but the Spinel has so many features to recommend it, like its versatile modularity, amazingly low noise level, small form factor, and accessibility for folks who struggle to thrust a dildo themselves. It’s also way more reasonably priced than a lot of sex machines on the market.

I’ll be interested to see if Lovense introduces any more attachments for the Spinel in the future. I could see it becoming a fan favorite, but based on what I know about the fucking-machine enthusiast community, I would imagine some users would prefer larger penetration than the Spinel can provide as-is. Just an idea, Lovense! 😜

Overall, though… The Spinel is a truly impressive toy, and it’ll be the first thing I reach for the next time I want to get railed at a distance.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Honey Play Box Vibrosa

Kate Sloan

What is the Honey Play Box Vibrosa?

Having been in long-distance dynamics for years at a time, I am no stranger to sex toys that are remotely controllable via Bluetooth. This is one of those – and while it looks, at first blush, like a pair of Kegel balls, it’s actually a vibrator designed to stimulate the G-spot and/or A-spot.

Each of the toy’s two “balls” has its own motor in it, and you can control those motors either separately or simultaneously using the Honey Play Box app. It’s made of silicone, and measures 4.64″ long by 1.45″ wide.

Things I like about the Honey Play Box Vibrosa

  • The HoneyPlayBox app is well-designed and has a bunch of cool features. You can use the 10 preset patterns (of which more in a second), or freely control each of the toy’s two motors separately; the interface is similar to that of Lovense toys. Connecting the toy to the app was quick and easy, too, and I didn’t experience any disconnection issues while testing.
  • While I normally dislike vibration patterns, the Vibrosa’s preset patterns are great, mostly because they’re all unrelenting rhythms with very little space between buzzes. To me, each of these patterns felt markedly more like being fingered than steady vibration would. You can also select songs from your music library to sync the vibrations to, if you prefer, which I found was another reliable way to strike the right balance between exciting variance and consistent rhythm.
  • The vibration quality is lovely: rumbly, deep, non-numbing. Each of the toy’s two motors seems to be tuned to a slightly different timbre, so you get some variety of sensation between the two. Somehow this makes it feel even more like someone is actually fingering my G-spot, which is cool.
  • The vibrations transmit somewhat into the toy’s “tail,” which sits on the outside of the body, so you get a bit of clitoral stimulation while using the Vibrosa – not enough that I could get off with it (as a member of the majority of vulva-owners who need clit stim to come), but enough that it noticeably adds to my pleasure.
  • The Vibrosa’s shape feels comfortable to me, and hits my G-spot well once I get it into the right position. Some of the vibrations transmit to my A-spot, too, if I insert the toy deeply enough – which feels really good and also offers more sensation options to whoever is controlling the vibe for me. Its grippy silicone ensures it doesn’t move around all that much, either, even when I get really wet.
  • It’s relatively quiet in use, as wearable Bluetooth-controllable vibes always should be, IMO, since you might want to use them discreetly in public places sometimes!
  • The toy can run for as long as 5 hours and 50 minutes on a one-hour charge – good news for those of us who hate when a vibrator dies mid-scene and want it to happen as seldom as possible!
  • It’s IPX7 waterproof, meaning you can safely submerge it in water while cleaning it or using it in the shower/bath, etc.

Things I don’t like about the Honey Play Box Vibrosa

  • Unfortunately a couple of the toy’s more interesting features just straight-up didn’t work for me. The “pressure sensitivity mode,” wherein squeezing your vag muscles around the toy is supposed to increase its vibrations, didn’t work at all, and the built-in A.I. chatbot kept erroring whenever I tried to speak to it.
  • The toy itself has only one button, which you can use to cycle through its 10 present patterns, none of which is just steady vibration. To control it any more granularly than that, you’ll need to connect it to the HoneyPlayBox app on your phone. I find this mildly annoying as someone who sometimes can’t be bothered to mess with apps when my hands are all lubey and I just want to concentrate on fantasies or porn, etc.
  • Minor gripe, but when using the preset vibration patterns via the HPB app, there is no visual feedback for the top (the person controlling the toy) as far as what the current pattern actually is/feels like. I would imagine most tops would want more precise control and would therefore stick to the ‘free control’ function.
The ‘free control’ interface in the Honey Play Box app, which enables you to control the toy’s 2 motors separately

Final thoughts

Lately I’ve had a few excellent long-distance vibrator sessions with a new sweetheart who lives on the west coast, and it’s been reminding me just how awesome these toys are. They allow you to connect sexually with someone who’s potentially thousands of miles away, and to feel almost like you’re actually being touched by that person. There are a lot of complaints I could make about being alive in 2025, but lack of good sex toy technologies is certainly not one of them!

The Honey Play Box Vibrosa offers the benefit of having two separately-controllable motors, unlike similar Bluetooth-compatible G-spot vibes such as the Lovense Lush. This allows its usage to feel more like I’m actually being fingered by a partner, since, in practice, most humans won’t finger you in the exact same spot for many minutes at a time; typically they’ll mix things up, trying out different depths and angles, and this toy allows for more variety in that way.

I wish that its pressure-sensor function had actually worked for me, but aside from that, I think this is a pleasantly rumbly vibrator that would work well for long-distance play and/or surreptitious public play, because of its comfy wearability and quietness. Shout-out to Honey Play Box for making such a solid toy!

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Funzze Pink “O” Clitoral Sucker

Kate Sloan

My preferences for clit-sucker toys are so specific, I can usually tell if I’ll like one just by looking at it. And as soon as I saw the Funzze Pink “O” Clitoral Sucker, I figured it would get along well with my clit – and I was correct about that.

(Don’t you wish it worked that way with human clit-suckers, too? Like gaydar but for pussy-eating skills… I’m sure my adventures on Tinder in my twenties would have been a lot more satisfying if I had cunnilingual clairvoyance!)

What is the Funzze Pink “O” Clitoral Sucker?

This cute little toy uses air-pulse technology, also known as pressure-wave technology, to stimulate the clit with rhythmic waves of air. While companies often refer to these toys as clit-suckers, they don’t actually apply suction in the way that something like a clit pump does – but some people describe them as feeling like oral sex nonetheless.

This Funzze air-pulse toy is made of silicone and ABS plastic, retails for $33.99, and runs for about an hour on an hour-long charge.

Things I like about the Funzze Pink “O” Clitoral Sucker:

  • It can get me off, no problem! To me, this toy’s air waves feel more like rumbly vibration that surrounds the tip of my clit. They’re low-pitched enough that I can feel them both on the surface of my skin and more deeply in the internally-buried parts of my clit. This leads to orgasms that are intense, deep, and fully felt – unlike orgasms from the buzzy vibration or weak pressure waves found on many other toys at this price point. I actually said “Whoa” out loud after coming with this toy for the first time, because I was that surprised 😂
  • The reason I requested this toy to review is that it has a larger mouth than most other toys in its category, a quality my clit tends to prefer. The hole has a diameter of 1.4 cm, or just over half an inch. That’s nearly as big as the mouth of my beloved Lelo Sila – although the Funzze toy’s mouth is only about 1.1 cm (0.43″) deep, versus the Sila’s mouth depth of 1.5 cm (0.59″), so I wouldn’t recommend this Funzze toy for anyone who has a large clit or who wants their whole clitoral shaft stimulated. The Sila is still better for those cases, albeit wayyyy more expensive.
  • This toy’s mouth has softly rounded silicone edges, which makes it comfortable to use and allows it to maintain a better seal around my clit, even if I writhe around a little during a session. (Always use lube – ideally a water-based formula – with pressure-wave toys, by the way! They feel a lot better and are less prone to causing irritation that way.)
  • It won’t be to everyone’s tastes, but I like this toy’s lovecore-y aesthetic! The heart-shaped button is cute, and I appreciate that it’s made of grippy silicone, while the rest of the toy’s body is made of glossy ABS plastic, so the button is easy to locate by feel and to keep a good grip on, even with lubey fingers.
  • At just 3.6″ tall by 2″ wide, this toy is petite and therefore arguably travel-friendly; it doesn’t have a travel-lock function, but it does come with a drawstring storage bag for travel.
  • It only costs $34! Honestly pretty rare for a toy at that price point to make me come 😆

Things I don’t like about the Funzze Pink “O” Clitoral Sucker:

  • This toy has 8 settings, with just one button to cycle through all of them – and bafflingly, the settings are 2 steady speeds followed by 6 annoyingly inconsistent patterns. The patterns could be good if you love tease & denial, but personally, I mostly reach for sex toys when I want satisfaction, not frustration! Those of us who prefer steady speeds (which is most users) generally appreciate having more than just 2 to choose from – especially since this toy starts off fairly intense, so I have to get myself turned on using my hand (or another toy) before I’ll be able to enjoy this one.
  • Like most pressure-wave toys, this one’s mouth is sized such that it’ll only focus on the tip of your clit, if your clit is medium-to-large. I prefer indirect clitoral stimulation so I usually prefer to use these toys through my clitoral hood, which, to be fair, is entirely doable with this toy.
  • This toy is louder than I was expecting, for how petite it is. Even when its mouth is full of clit, it makes a somewhat grating buzzing noise, albeit one that likely couldn’t be heard through a closed door.
  • I think this toy is slightly too bulky, depth-wise, to fit well between bodies in the missionary position (whether for PIV or strap-on sex). You could manage it with an adapted position that allows for slightly more space between your pelvises.
  • Confusingly, the toy’s product page says it’s fully waterproof, while its manual and product specs say it’s only splashproof. (I suspect this may be the result of poor A.I. translation, as is common these days, but who knows.) In any case, I wish this toy was fully waterproof as its webpage claims, because I like using clit stimulators in the bath sometimes.

Final thoughts

I am always on the lookout for pressure-wave toys at an affordable price point, because many people want to try them, but (reasonably!) don’t want to drop $150+ on a really nice one when they don’t even know if they’ll enjoy the sensation. To that end, I’m glad that the Funzze Pink “O” Clitoral Sucker only costs $34, because that means that more people get to access the pleasures of this type of toy!

That being said, only having two steady speeds is a pretty big flaw, since most users prefer them (according to various informal Twitter polls that I and my colleagues have run over the years, anyway). This toy’s noise level also makes it tough to recommend for anyone who needs utmost discretion or just prefers quieter toys.

But I can’t deny that this toy brings me to some sharply intense orgasms. Its laser-focused clitoral directness isn’t always what I’m in the mood for – but it’s a sweet, cute, ultra-portable little mouth that can make me come and only costs $34, and I think that’s pretty neat.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.