Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Spartacus Blown Large Realistic Glass Dildo

Kate Sloan

You might think being a sex toy reviewer for nearly a decade would’ve expanded my sexual horizons – and in many ways, it has. But in other ways, it’s just allowed me to hone in on which types of toys I really, really like, and skew my collection more and more in the direction of things I specifically adore.

On that note, I will confess to you that there are basically only 2 categories of insertable toys I unreservedly love: glass dildos, and realistic silicone dildos. Sure, there are outliers – chief among them, the stainless steel Njoy Eleven and the lacquered wood NobEssence Seduction – but for the most part, I know what I like and I stick to that.

That’s why it’s such a surprise that it’s taken me this long to acquire and try the Spartacus Blown Large Realistic Glass Dildo (phew, what a mouthful… and a vag-ful). As far as I’m concerned, it’s the best of both worlds: a realistic cock, made of glass. The good folks at Mindful were generous enough to send me one from their extensive smorgasbord of dildos.

Let me say this right upfront: you will not enjoy this dildo if you like internal stimulation that is all soft strokes and satisfying squish. If that’s your deal, but you want something of comparable dimensions, get a VixSkin Bandit instead. This glass dildo is for people who like to get fucked hard, with large, unforgiving objects. People, in other words, like me!

See, the thing is, I love realistic dildos because I love flesh-and-blood cocks. I eroticize the shape of them, the idea, and – sure – the actual physical sensations of them. I know dicks aren’t everyone’s jam, so I won’t try to argue that something about the shape of the coronal ridge and veined shaft of a cock is “designed” to “naturally” pleasure the inside of a vagina. But for me, that feels true. The right dick – paired with lube, a good vibrator, and a partner with decent stamina, patience, and aim – can get me off easily and excellently. This is why I gravitate toward dildos that look like this much-revered human appendage.

But on the other end of the spectrum are glass dildos. Obviously, there are some things dildos can do that flesh dicks simply cannot (and vice versa), and those differences are particularly apparent in toys made of glass. My most sensitive internal spots – the G-spot and the A-spot – tend to like firm pressure once they’re turned on, and sometimes even the hardest of erections just isn’t as hard as I would prefer. It’s not through any failing of these cocks’ owners; it’s just a fact of human biology.

This toy, by contrast, is if like you were hooking up with someone who had one of the biggest* and most pleasurable cocks you’d ever experienced, and suddenly a witch cast a spell on them and turned them to stone (or, in this case, glass). Yeah, that would be horrifying. But also… for me at least, their dick would suddenly start feeling at least 20% better. (Now that I think about it, this sounds like a fantasy that my death-fetishist friend Dick Wound might be into…)

*Important note for those of you who might be worried: bigger does not always equal better. Big dicks are just one item on the menu at the sex buffet. For some people, it’s their favorite item and all they ever prefer. Some people will always like smaller penetration, or none at all. As for me, I’m sometimes a size queen and sometimes I want something smaller, gentler, and/or more targeted. Don’t @ me about this. Your dick is great no matter what size it is, I promise. I just… don’t need to hear details about it in the comments section, okay? 😘

Love a realistic frenulum and coronal ridge.

This Spartacus glass dildo boasts 8 inches of insertable length and a diameter of 1.75 inches at its widest point. That’s pretty hefty, especially if you keep in mind that glass toys tend to feel bigger than silicone toys of the same dimensions because they have no give. I have to be pretty warmed up to take this one, but once I am, it’s incredibly satisfying: the tight fit enables me to feel all the subtle-yet-important veins running along the toy, and there’s more than enough length to reach my A-spot with the tip while the shaft strokes against my G-spot. I find that orgasms, especially, are enhanced by the hugeness and hardness of this toy: my vag clenches around it, pushing it yet more firmly against my erogenous zones in a rhythmic manner while I come. It reminds me of some qualities I love about the Double Trouble, only without the spot-targeting curves.

Yes, this Spartacus dildo is straight as fuck. (I am not commenting on its sexual orientation, which I don’t know. I mean its shape.) Normally I think it’s a bad idea for a toy to be this firm and this curveless; toys along these lines have caused me great pain and discomfort before. Indeed, I do have to be rrrreally turned on and rrrreally lubed up before this toy will start to feel good. But once it’s comfortably inserted, I can use the balls at the base to easily angle the tip upward, into my A-spot, so it bypasses my cervix and rams into only the area that likes to be rammed. However, obviously your mileage may vary – I would be wary of this one if you’ve had a lot of trouble with cervix-bashing toys before and haven’t found angling to be helpful in that regard.

Let’s talk about those balls, though… Balls on realistic dildos are highly controversial among sex toy nerds. Some people hate ’em, some love ’em, some don’t pay the slightest attention to ’em. I’m mostly in that latter category, but I do think that in this case they were a wise choice. As someone whose chronic illness sometimes manifests as pain and weakness in my hands and arms, it’s really important to me that dildos be easy to thrust and manipulate. The base of this dildo – which is wider than normal bases, due to the inclusion of balls – makes it possible for me to angle the toy as needed and thrust it just by rhythmically bumping the heel of my hand against the bottom, even on bad pain days. With the addition of the toy’s prominent veins, this can create a lot of sensation with minimal effort – score. If you want a similar toy without balls, Spartacus makes a ball-less one that’s just a little bit smaller (7″ by 1.5″).

The flared base of this toy makes it anal-safe – and also, fascinatingly, makes it harness-compatible. It’s really hot to think about getting fucked by someone who has a glass cock strapped on – although, if you try this, please be careful; it would be all too easy to painfully ram someone with this toy if you couldn’t feel what you were doing.

My partner has fucked me with this toy by hand and they noted that it’s easy to thrust (thanks again, balls!) and very pretty to look at. The veins make it a bit of a nightmare to clean, but if you scrub it with a washcloth or scrub brush while you’re soaping it up, you should be alright.

Overall I’m quite enamored with this Spartacus glass dildo. I hope we start to see more toys crop up in the “realistic glass” category. Dicks are lovely; glass is lovely; the combination of the two is a joy.

 

Thanks so much to Mindful for sending me this dildo to review! They have a fantastic selection of dildos in countless different shapes, sizes, and materials for you to peruse. Did you know that they rebranded recently? They used to be called My First Blush; I gotta say I like the name Mindful better! Their mission is all about providing high-quality products and exceptional customer service. Sounds good to me!

This post was sponsored, which means I was paid to write a fair and honest review. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Hot Octopuss Amo

Kate Sloan

I always find it amusing when a sex toy company makes both a product I hate and a product I love. Why does the Dame Kip satisfy my clit while the Dame Eva buzzily tumbles from my labia in laughably short order? Why does the We-Vibe Tango make me swoon while the We-Vibe Wish distracts me to the point of rage? Why does the Fun Factory Stronic Eins give me deep, throbbing orgasms while the Fun Factory LayaSpot just makes me sigh and give up?

Well, the answer is that not every sex toy works well for every body – and that’s a good thing. It means there’s enough variety within the sex toy industry to accommodate almost anyone, at least pleasure-wise.

I bring this up because today’s blog post is about a Hot Octopuss toy. Hot Octopuss previously made the Queen Bee, a vibrator that ticks several of my “I hate this” boxes: it creates far too much noise and far too little sensation, and it has a frustratingly and unnecessarily cissexist name. But Hot Octopuss shouldn’t be written off entirely, because they’ve also made several top-notch toys, like my partner’s beloved penis vibe, the Pulse, and the toy I’m reviewing today, the Amo.

The Amo is a really fucking good vibrator. Hot Octopuss is known primarily for the rumbly motors in their penile toys, and they seem to have brought that technology into the clitoral sphere. The Amo visibly and tangibly rumbles from the moment you turn it on. This is not at all a wimpy vibrator like so many on the market.

It’s also a really pretty toy. I like the black-with-red-ombré aesthetic, and the top-heavy shape sets this vibe apart from standard bullets, albeit while preventing it from being useable in, say, the bullet-vibe hole at the base of some dildos. The shape allows for a lot of different types of sensation: you can position the squishy, pointed tip on your clit if you like focused stimulation, or use various other spots on the toy’s shaft for broader and/or firmer touch.

The aforementioned squishiness is worth keeping in mind if you’re used to using hard plastic bullet vibes like the We-Vibe Tango or ScreamingO Charged Vooom. Silicone – the material that the main body of the Amo is made of – has more give to it than plastic, and also muffles vibrations slightly. The Amo’s motor is strong enough to make up for it, but if you like full-strength, focused vibrations that are almost sharp in quality, hard plastic will still probably be your best bet.

The Amo has 5 steady speeds and 5 patterns. This should be plenty for most users, although I have found myself wishing on a couple of occasions that there was just one or two extra speeds on the top end.

For me, the controls of this toy are a little awkward. One small button on one side of the shaft turns the vibe on and off, while two equally small buttons on the other side control the vibration intensity. None of the buttons are placed where my fingers naturally want to rest while holding this toy, so there’s always a bit of reaching and readjusting involved. However, if you’re someone who tends to accidentally bump buttons while using a vibe, disrupting your own pleasure, you might find this layout functions better for you.

I wish the USB-rechargeable Amo’s battery life was better – you get up to 40 minutes of use for every charge, and charging takes 2-3 hours. However, given that its best-known competitor, the Tango, has a notoriously shitty battery that has necessitated me replacing mine once every couple of years, I don’t mind needing to charge a toy more often in the short-term if it will last me longer in the long-term. (This, however, remains to be seen, as I’ve only owned my Amo for a couple of months.)

Overall, the Hot Octopuss Amo is what all too many clitoral vibrators wish they were. It’s strong, rumbly, quiet, elegant, portable, waterproof, and relatively inexpensive – just $49, versus $79–99 for toys of similar type and quality. I’m still married to my bedside bestie the Eroscillator, but the Amo has definitely entered my rotation of favored small vibes for travel and overnights. Congrats to Hot Octopuss for making something that’s not only better than their abysmal Queen Bee, but actually genuinely excellent.

 

Thanks to Hot Octopuss for sending me this toy to review!

Got Chronic Pain But Love Giving Handjobs?

Kate Sloan

I remember the first time I realized my chronic pain disorder might seriously mess up my sex life. I was kneeling in front of a dominant gentleman friend, sucking his cock while he tugged at my hair, when a telltale twinge of pain began to creep up in my knees. They were, at that time, my most painful and volatile body part – and blowjobs were, at that time, my most beloved and calming sex act. I shifted around, tried putting a pillow under me, tried sitting on my ass instead, but it was a lost cause. My knees had cockblocked us both. Defeated, I finished out the encounter with a handjob.

Handjobs have long been one of my favorite things to do to a partner, so this wasn’t exactly a consolation prize, at least for me. But in recent years, pain in my hands has plagued me even more than pain in my knees. It’s a bummer to realize that the sex act I once turned to when I was in too much pain to do anything else is now sometimes off-limits to me due to pain.

Fortunately, I’ve always had partners who were very understanding about this issue. They’ve typically been fine with me cuddling up to them and kissing their neck while they jerk themselves off, or playing with their nipples while they fuck a Fleshlight. But as any handjob-giving aficionado will tell you, sometimes the joy in acts like these isn’t just about observing your partner’s pleasure, but in directly causing and controlling it. And in that regard, there was only so much I could do.

So when a company called Handy emailed me about their new product, I was intrigued. Designed by a Norwegian engineer, the Handy is an electrically-powered mechanical stroking device, much like the unfortunately-named Sybian Venus for Men – but it only costs $169, while the Venus costs a whopping $956. Okay, Handy; I’m listening.

To be fair, the two products aren’t really as comparable as I initially thought: the Venus is custom-constructed to fit your exact dick measurements, and uses different mechanics to create a sensation I have to assume is pretty different from the Handy’s. But if using a Venus is on your bucket list despite clearly not being in the cards for you financially, maybe the Handy would be a good substitute.

So what is this toy? It’s a somewhat clunky, Fleshlight-shaped mechanical cylinder attached to a fabric band which you can wrap around an included masturbation sleeve (of unknown material, though probably some kind of thermoplastic rubber/elastomer, and definitely porous – ergo, don’t share it with anyone you’re not fluid-bonded with). The band moves the sleeve up and down over the penis once it’s inserted, and you can use the 4 buttons on the Handy to control the speed of each stroke as well as the length of the stroke.

Setup is slightly annoying, as you have to keep adjusting the tightness of the band with its Velcro strap depending on how hard your dick is and how much pressure it’s craving at any given moment. But if you’re already pretty hard and aroused by the time you start using it, that might be less of an issue. Lube is also an ongoing consideration, as with just about any penile masturbation toy; the company recommends water-based only, and you may need to reapply during use, especially if your session runs long.

What I love about this toy, as a “handjob top,” is how much control it gives me. When I use my hands on a partner’s cock, I’m not just altering the speed, I’m also altering the length and location of my strokes – so I’m glad to have a toy that can approximate that, however clunkily compared to the nuance of skilled hands. The “left and right” buttons on the control unit are for speed, and the “up and down” buttons control the stroke length; everything is close together, so I barely have to move my hand or expend any muscle energy when I’m using this toy.

One small complaint is that it’s difficult to know exactly what to do during a partner’s orgasm. When using my hand, normally I would either hold still while maintaining pressure, or slow down and lengthen my stroke quite a bit for the duration of the orgasm; when post-orgasmic hypersensitivity hits, it’s easy to remove your hand quickly, but it’s trickier to do that with the Handy. You can hit a bunch of buttons to swiftly slow the toy down, but removing it from the dick in a rush is likelier to cause more discomfort than just leaving it in place would. However, this’ll only be a minor issue for most people, and some might even like it if they enjoy an overload of sensation.

Cleaning is also an annoyance, but that’s true for pretty much every stroker/masturbator. Resist the temptation to fall asleep in a post-orgasmic haze, and make sure to rinse the cum and lube out of the stroker within a few minutes after using it, or you’re in for a gunky, moldy surprise later on.

If this were a standard review, I would touch on the video synchronization and smartphone-control features of the Handy, and I’m sure that they would help folks whose hand pain is even more severe than mine. But for my purposes, I prefer to get as close to hands-on as I comfortably can, so physically holding the toy works better for me.

Overall, if you have pain/mobility/strength issues in your hands and would still love to be able to give handjobs (or jerk yourself off), I think the Handy is a worthy investment. The band-and-sleeve system makes it so that you could theoretically swap out the provided stroker for a different one, if there’s another texture or size you prefer. You can therefore get more variety of sensation out of this toy than many other comparable ones, especially considering the flexibility of the controls scheme. $169 is a bit steep for some people’s budgets, sure, but I’ve never seen a toy of this type and caliber sold for any less – so when fellow sore-handed people ask me how they can keep on strokin’ dicks, now I know to recommend the Handy.

 

Full disclosure: Handy didn’t pay me for this review, but they did send me the product to try (thanks!) and I do get a small kickback if you buy through my affiliate link. Want more sex toy recommendations for folks with chronic pain? I wrote this article recently for Xtra on that very subject!

Mini Reviews: BeOne, Carter, & Star Delight

Kate Sloan

Time for some short reviews to catch up on my sex toy queue! Here are some toys I’ve been testing recently…

The Fun Factory Be-One caught my attention immediately when I spotted it at ANME, because 1) a new Fun Factory toy! yay! and 2) it looked like it might work well for someone with chronic pain in their hands, like me. So I asked Fun Factory to send me one, and blessedly, they did. It’s a rechargeable vibrator designed such that you can grip it between two fingers without the need for a lot of muscle strength or flexibility. The silicone-covered tip of the toy curves downward, so it can make good contact with my clit even on days when my fingers or wrists aren’t cooperating.

That ease of use on bad pain days is, for me, the major selling point of this toy – but there are others, too. It’s waterproof. It’s small enough to fit between bodies easily during penetrative sex. It’s made of non-porous and hypoallergenic silicone and plastic. It comes with a cute, hard plastic storage case, shaped somewhat like a computer mouse, which (especially paired with the toy’s travel lock function) makes me feel much more confident it won’t thrum to life in my suitcase, if and when we’re ever allowed to fly again. Its one button, which you can use to cycle through the toy’s four steady speeds and one “flirty” pattern mode, protrudes and lights up so it’s easy to both see and feel in the heat of the moment (you would not believe how many vibrators get this very important thing wrong).

Crucially, the Be-One has two motors (TWO!) packed into its tiny body, so it’s more powerful than you would expect for a vibe of this size. The dual motor situation also makes the Be-One’s vibrations feel rumblier than Fun Factory’s previous clit vibe offerings; it’s almost like the vibrations are bouncing back and forth from one motor to another at a very high speed. This is no Tango, but I’d pick it over something buzzier like the Lelo Mia or Jimmyjane Form 2 any day. My picky clit can orgasm fairly easily with the Be-One, albeit with a bit of grinding/rubbing/circling added to the mix.

Fun Factory says that with the Be-One, “once it’s in place, you really don’t have to think about it anymore,” and unfortunately that isn’t really true because of where the control button is situated. It’s on top of the toy, a spot I can’t reach when the vibe is positioned between my fingers as advertised. When I want to change the vibration speed, I have to either pause what I’m doing to hit the button with my other hand, or reposition the toy in my hand so I can reach the button – which sort of negates the comfort of its design. However, this is a pretty minor issue (for my particular body, anyway), and overall I think Fun Factory did great with the Be-One. It’s a cute and compact vibrator with two lovely motors, and I think it’ll make a lot of people happy.

The New York Toy Collective Carter was an anniversary gift from my very thoughtful partner. Mine is turquoise and pink, because I love those colors, but it’s also available in various skin tones, a gorgeous teal, and some other shades.

I became interested in this dildo when I read my friend Epiphora’s review of it, in which she says that she squirts every time she uses the Carter. I mean… sounds pretty good to me! Sinclair Sexsmith once called the Carter their “desert-island dildo,” and they know their shit when it comes to strap-ons. I was also curious about this toy because, while the Godemiche Ambit has been my go-to pegging dildo for years, occasionally my partner wants something bigger. With its chunky 2″ diameter and comfortable dual-density silicone, the Carter certainly fits the bill.

However, so far I haven’t used the Carter for pegging purposes, because, y’know, butts are fickle and you can’t rush this stuff. I have, however, gotten fucked with it numerous times, and it’s lovely. Its 7.5″ insertable length allows it to reach my A-spot, and its pronounced coronal ridge can also stroke my G-spot with every thrust. That said, if you’re looking for a dildo to target a specific spot, I don’t think this is the right one; it’s more of a blunt instrument, best for days when you really just wanna be filled up and fucked, rather than having particular internal spots satisfied with the exacting precision of something like a Pure Wand or a Seduction. The Carter, like many New York Toy Collective dildos, has a flexible core that allows you to bend the dildo into a curve that suits you, but I’ve found this feature more useful for visual purposes (e.g. posing for strap-on selfies) than for actual fucking, because my vag tends to straighten out the dildo in short order.

This isn’t the sort of dildo that leaves me breathless or weeping after an orgasm, like the Eleven or Double Trouble can. But it’s squishy enough to be comfortable for longer fucks (assuming you keep the lube flowin’), and it looks fantastic in a strap-on. New York Toy Collective is a fabulous, queer-owned company that makes gorgeous dicks and gender affirmation products; I’m happy to support them in any way I can, especially since doing so involves telling you that you absolutely deserve a stunning and satisfying dildo like the Carter.

I bought myself a Crystal Delights Star Delight dildo in late 2018 and have somehow never gotten around to reviewing it at length here. It’s gotta be one of the prettiest dildos in my collection: clear glass, with an aqua-colored gem set into the base. It can be easy to lose yourself in the quasi-hypnotic act of examining it from all angles.

This, I feel, is a good dildo for a lazy masturbator like me. The bumpy texture all along the shaft ensures you get plenty of stimulation with minimal movement and effort. The girth – 1.4″ at its widest – is slim enough that you may not need to warm up before inserting it, especially if you pair it with a good lube (and being made of glass, it pairs well with any type of lube). I can rest the heel of my hand against the base of the Star Delight and gently rock it against my A-spot without needing to think about it or work too hard. The base is unobtrusive enough that I can easily use a vibe with this dildo, and the firmness of the glass makes orgasms with it extra intense.

That low-profile base is also one of the reasons the Star Delight works so well for me during oral sex. It’s become a favorite for my partner to insert while they’re going down on me, because it allows them to stroke my A-spot with the delicious firmness I like, while also attending to my clit. Very few dildos can actually pull this off – most feel awkward for the giver, the receiver, or both – so I’m thrilled to have found one that works reliably well for this purpose. As my partner noted in an earlier blog post, the texture of the dildo is not only stimulating for me but also helps keep the toy anchored in place during oral sex, so they can focus more fully on what their mouth is doing.

My only issue with the Star Delight – aside from the $100+ price tag, about which I can only say, wait for a sale if you can – is that the bumps make it a bit tricky to clean. I usually have to scrub around each bump individually with an old toothbrush or somesuch. But overall this dildo is versatile, useful, and pleasurable – practically everything I want a dildo to be.

Review: Clone-a-Willy

Kate Sloan

I take great pains to document my sex life, whether on my blog (as you can plainly see) or in my journals or even in texts to friends. It feels like an act of archiving experiences, cataloguing them, so that in some sense I can hold onto them forever. It makes sense, then, that I would also want to somehow replicate – and thereby keep – my favorite dicks I have known.

This impulse evidently must be pretty common, because the Clone-a-Willy has been one of the most-discussed sex toys in the entire industry for as long as I can remember. Made by the geniuses at Empire Labs (whom I was privileged to meet at an industry tradeshow recently), this kit contains everything you need to first make a mold of a particular dick, and then pour silicone into the mold to create a body-safe, fuck-ready copy of said dick. What an incredible gift Empire Labs has given to the world.

I’ve been wanting to try a Clone-a-Willy since the moment I first heard of the product, and was delighted when my pals at Mindful offered to send me a kit. My partner and I decided on the hot pink version – the toy also comes in various skin tones and glow-in-the-dark shades – because, in their words, “I already have a flesh-toned version of my cock. I don’t need another one.” I love that the company makes the toy in so many colors; it’s a seemingly small thing but it makes the whole process feel more fun and whimsical, while also potentially making the product more inviting to non-binary and gender-nonconforming users, or people who just like colorful cocks.

The kit includes the following components: a package of algae-based molding powder, two tubs of liquid silicone, a plastic tube to assemble the whole thing in, a single-speed vibrator, a thermometer for measuring water temperature, a wooden tongue-depressor-esque stick to help with dispensing the silicone, and appropriately detailed instructions. You, in turn, will need the following items of your own for the dick-cloning process: a measuring cup, a large mixing bowl, scissors, a timer, a disposable container (like the kind of thing takeout soup might come in), a mixing spoon, and a 4″x4″ square of cardboard.

The instructions are fairly easy to grasp once you’ve read through them a few times, but you do need to read them thoroughly. Much like cooking certain complicated dishes, the Clone-a-Willy process progresses fairly quickly once it gets started, so it’s best to do your “mise en place” beforehand as best as you can.

You can read the instructions online if you’re curious, but to summarize… You’ll first need to get your dick (or your partner’s dick) hard and cut the plastic tube so it’s only half an inch longer than the penis you’re seeking to clone. (The provided tube is 11 inches long by 2.5 inches wide, so it should fit all but the most record-breakingly enormous dicks.) Then, in your mixing bowl, you’ll stir the molding powder into a specified quantity of 90-degree water (hence the thermometer in the kit) for precisely 45 seconds and pour it into the tube. At this point, the dick-owner must shove their erect-as-possible penis into the tube while the molding mixture starts to solidify, which takes only about two minutes.

This is the most stressful part of the process, because it requires you to maintain an erection while your dick is swimming around in a tube full of lukewarm whitish liquid – not necessarily the sexiest situation. My partner and I dealt with this by setting up a hypnotic trigger beforehand which would give them an extra jolt of boner-boosting arousal whenever I said the word “hard.” I also helped out during these crucial two minutes by kissing them, touching their non-genital erogenous zones, etc. Keep that dick hard at all costs, and definitely don’t miss your window of time – this stuff solidifies fast!

Once your mold is more-or-less firm, you can remove your dick from the tube. The instructions recommend letting the mold harden for an additional 4-8 hours before moving onto the next step, in which you mix together your two jars of silicone, slowly pour them into the mold, and top it all off with your vibrator wedged through a piece of cardboard to keep it properly positioned in the toy. Then you let the whole thing sit for 24 hours or more, at which point your fully-formed silicone dick is ready for extraction (and enjoyment).

Let me make a case for why the Clone-a-Willy is the perfect vibrator kit to try in the age of coronavirus. First off, if self-isolation or quarantining has dictated that you can’t see your partner face-to-face or genitals-to-genitals for a while, it might be nice to send them a fuckable effigy of your bits to help them feel closer to you. (Empire Labs also makes an equivalent version for vulvas now!) On the other hand, if you and your partner are holed up together – as was my situation – Clone-a-Willy is like a sexy science experiment you can do together. It’s a bonding experience, a collaborative process, and could even be incorporated into a kink scene if you’re so inclined.

It’s also worth noting that, at about $50-60 depending on where you are, the Clone-a-Willy kit is cheaper than a lot of realistic silicone dildos out there. It does require more work on your part than just picking up a couples’ vibe at the store, obviously, but I think it’s well worth its reasonable price tag, especially for the quality of the dildo you end up with.

Once we extracted the finished dildo from the mold (after waiting the full recommended 24 hours, very impatiently), I was struck by just how lifelike it is. It didn’t capture the full length of the dick being replicated, nor did it have the beautiful color gradient of peach-to-pink-to-purplish that I adore on the aforementioned dick, since it’s just pink silicone – but every bump, ridge, vein, and curve was preserved. Both my partner and I looked upon it in awe and agreed that it looked immensely, even somewhat creepily, close to their actual dick. Uncanny valley ahoy!

Of course, we pretty much immediately started boning, and soon they fucked me with their silicone cock. It’s unmistakably firmer and more battering-ram-esque than an actual flesh-and-blood dick, but sometimes that’s preferable! It’s also a little bit difficult to hold if you’re fucking someone with it – the dial base of the vibrator isn’t anywhere near as grippable as a typical chunky dildo base the likes of which would fit into a strap-on harness – but we managed to make it work. It was cool being able to combine their cock with things it normally can’t easily be paired with, like the Magic Wand Rechargeable or their mouth.

As for the vibrator embedded in the toy, it’s nothing to write home about: it’s only got one speed, and requires just one AA battery, so it’s not exactly a powerhouse. That said, you could probably replace it with a different, equivalently-sized vibe if you were so inclined, or just take it out once the dildo is set. I’m not much for internal vibration anyway.

Overall I’m really glad to own a gorgeous copy of my partner’s magnificent dick. I’m also impressed at how well the folks at Empire Labs have managed to create a dildo-making process that even a layman (or laywoman or layenby) can figure out. The Clone-a-Willy is a unique product and could be a lovely gift, whether you present your partner with a ready-made duplicate of your genitals, or the full unused kit, ready to be busted out on a particularly ambitious date night.

 

This post was sponsored by the good folks at JustMindful, who also provided the toy for me to review. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.