Girly Juice

I was sent these three toys recently while researching some pieces for the Insider about the best sex toys for couples and long-distance play. Here’s what I thought of each!

We-Vibe Tango X

I’ve long been loud about how much I love the original We-Vibe Tango. It has most of the qualities I’d ever want in a clitoral vibe: small, rumbly, powerful, firm, versatile, quiet, and waterproof. But it was missing a few key features – namely, it lacked a travel lock, had only one button you had to use to scroll through all 8 modes, and had a notoriously bad battery that was finicky as hell to charge and would tend to die completely after 1-3 years of use. Hence me owning several Tangos in my time.

The new Tango X has fixed all of those issues: We-Vibe added buttons for navigating between settings, provided a travel-lock option, and equipped the toy with a better battery that charges more easily. They also added an ergonomic silicone finger grip, something I hadn’t known I wanted but that makes the toy a lot easier for me to use on bad hand pain days.

The vibe is just as rumbly and strong as it ever was, albeit with more steady vibration settings to choose from so the jumps between settings don’t feel as abrupt as they used to. The addition of extra buttons, in particular, makes this toy much less annoying to use during partnered sex, because I don’t have to scroll through aaaaall the settings to get back to my fave, thus interrupting the action with some ill-timed vibration patterns. I’ve used the Tango X with my partner several times now and it is even more intuitive and well-suited to partnered-sex applications than it used to be, plus it remains a trusted choice for masturbation, whether I’m pairing it with a dildo or using the Tango X on its own.

I find it impressive that We-Vibe managed to keep the Tango X relatively affordable – $75 at time of writing – despite all these upgrades. (Canadians, that’s about $99 for us.) It remains an absolute staple in my toy collection, and because it has such rumbly and variable vibrations, I think it’d make a great gift for any vulva-possessing person in your life who has expressed wanting a clitoral vibrator but doesn’t quite know what to look for. Bravo, We-Vibe – bravo!

Satisfyer Curvy 3+

This ultra-sleek pressure-wave toy looks to me like something a grown-up Regina George might use. It’s cool, modern, and ergonomic as hell.

I was interested in the Curvy 3+ because Satisfyer gave me its predecessor, the Curvy 2+, back at ANME, and I loved it more than I expected to. The softly rounded edges of the “mouth” made it more comfortable around my clit than a lot of its pointier-edged counterparts, it had a broad range of settings and patterns, and its shape and matte silicone made it easy to hold onto, even when lube got involved. The “handle” end also vibrates and is insertable, incase you want to switch back and forth between clit stimulation and G-spot vibration – great if you’re travelling and don’t have access to other toys, I guess – but I didn’t end up using that feature much because, well, I own many, many dildos that feel better than the Curvy 2+’s handle.

That said, after trying the updated 3+ version, I actually prefer the earlier one! The 3+ has a flatter design that feels less sexy and more clinical in my hand somehow, and consequently its insertable end is also slimmer and less satisfying; it pokes my G-spot rather than filling me up. Most crucially, the “mouth” of the 3+ is smaller, shallower, and has less rounded-off edges, whereas the 2+ has a mouth that’s a good 0.1″ wider and 0.2″ deeper – which may not sound like much, but can make a big difference for a clitoral pressure-wave toy. I can fit a significant amount of my hooded clit into the Curvy 2+, but pretty much only the tip will comfortably fit into the 3+ and generally I have to pull back my hood a bit (yowch!) to even accomplish that much. The 2+’s mouth also has those gently rounded edges that make it much comfier to use, even when I’m pressing the toy firmly against my body.

Satisfyer’s app functionality is worth mentioning here, because it’s really fucking good. Like Lovense toys, Satisfyer toys connect quickly to their corresponding app and are super responsive when you’re controlling them that way. My partner and I have found my Satisfyer Curvy 2+ useful when we’re 500 miles apart but they want to “go down on me”; short of hiring a cunnilingually gifted sex worker and whispering instructions into their ear via audio call, the Satisfyer app is the closest my partner can get to performing oral on me when they can’t actually put their mouth on me.

While I’m sure some people will appreciate the aesthetic updates and functional differences of the Satisfyer Curvy 3+ versus its predecessors in the Curvy line, it’s the Curvy 2+ that has captured my heart (and my clit’s heart, if it had one), and that’s the one I’ll be reaching for more often in the future.

Lelo Smart Wand 2

Obligatory caveats about Lelo: ethically, they are… not great. They hired a domestic abuser as their spokesperson despite abuse survivors’ outcries against this, produced condoms that seem like a health hazard, sued We-Vibe in a vindictive act of patent-trolling, and released a sex toy excusively for male bankers (????), among other things.

While I do think their products have had a sharp decline in quality over the past decade or so, their Smart Wand line is a rare diamond in the rough, IMO – albeit with some problems of its own. I loved my original Smart Wand, although later it betrayed me by dying after only a year. No matter what I did to try to recharge and revive it, it was simply dead, dead, dead. I was just outside of Lelo’s 1-year warranty period so the best they would’ve done for me is provide me with a 50% discount code to buy another one, which – given how quickly the first one had perished – seemed risky and futile.

When I was at ANME in early 2020, I saw a new version of the Smart Wand on display which was bright turquoise (or “aqua,” according to Lelo). This exact shade is one of my favorite colors ever – in fact, I’m currently typing on a computer whose hard-shell case and keyboard cover are both the same color as my Smart Wand 2 – so I ached for it on those grounds alone. Later I asked Lelo for one, and it is just as glorious a hue as I remembered.

I’m not actually sure what’s different about the Smart Wand 2 versus the original Smart Wand; it’s been too long for me to remember and Lelo’s product copy is annoyingly unclear on this point. I do know that a lot of people reported mechanical issues with the original Smart Wand, most notably that sometimes the vibrations would jump around erratically, suddenly ramping up to a high setting or dropping to a low setting without users’ consent. This glitch was mostly reported as happening on the toy’s highest settings – and unfortunately, some reviewers say the Smart Wand 2 has the same issue.

I personally haven’t experienced this glitch, and didn’t experience it with the original Smart Wand, which suggests to me that maybe I use this vibe differently than the folks who noticed this problem. Pressure is often a culprit when vibes glitch out, but I’ve experimented with various amounts of pressure while using the Smart Wand 2 and still haven’t encountered that particular glitch (though I do notice that the vibe tends to get a bit weaker when you press it into your body, as often happens with vibrators). 🤷🏻‍♀️ Your mileage may vary, and purchase at your own risk!

I actually kind of love the Smart Wand 2, I’m somewhat ashamed to say. It’s gorgeous, smooth, and glamorous. Its handle has an ergonomic curved shape that I find useful when I massage my neck and shoulders with it. It’s reasonably quiet for a wand vibe, especially on the lower end of its intensity levels, and gets very strong and rumbly when you want it to. It’s also 100% waterproof, something that used to not matter as much to me in wand vibes but that matters enormously to me now that I live with chronic pain and thus do some of my best relaxin’ and wankin’ in the tub.

But despite all its glamour and strength, the Smart Wand 2 does have some problems. The buttons annoy me at least once every time I use it; Lelo has a bad habit of designing toys with buttons that somehow seem both oversensitive and undersensitive, sometimes requiring multiple presses to go to the next setting and sometimes skipping a few settings with just one press. I also find that the “+,” “–,” and “pattern” buttons are pretty indiscernible from one another when you’ve got your eyes closed or are using the toy in the dark, so I’ve accidentally started a vibration pattern many times when I meant to hit the “+” button instead, potentially ruining or losing my impending orgasm.

I’m also not especially fond of the rounded head. It works well for muscle massage, but one of the reasons I love my Magic Wand Rechargeable is that it has a more squarish shape so I can use its head’s edges/”corners” to produce a more focused, pinpointed sensation on my clit than the broad roundness the Smart Wand 2 allows for. However, if you like all-over vulva vibration, that won’t be an issue for you.

The Lelo Smart Wand 2 costs a whopping $199, and as stunning and seductive as it is, I don’t think it’s really worth that amount of money, especially when you can get a more dependable Magic Wand Rechargeable for just $130, or We-Vibe’s Wand (which is fully waterproof like the Smart Wand) for $170. The Smart Wand 2 reminds me of a beautiful but erratic socialite – and while that kind of person is fun to spend a night with once in a while, generally I’d rather come home to a reliable sweetheart like my Magic Wand.

 

Thanks to We-Vibe, Satisfyer, and Lelo for sending me these toys to try! Have you used any of these? What did you think?