As odd as it may seem, keeping a sex spreadsheet again this year (going strong since 2015, baybee!) helped me make sense of the chaotic mess that was 2020. I may not have been able to fuck at my favorite hotels and sex clubs, but I could sure keep my data up-to-date and color-coded.
Here, as per tradition, is a post enumerating and analyzing some of the key stats from my 2020 sex spreadsheet. Strap in!
Overview
- In 2020, I had partnered sex 200 times. (Wooo, nice round numbers!)
- That works out to an average of 16.66 times per month, 3.84 times per week, and 0.55 times per day.
- I had 181 orgasms from partnered sex (not counting phone sex, which has its own section below).
- My partner had 178 orgasms during sex with me. (One of their goals, after we started playing with chastity kink, became to give me more orgasms during the year than they had themselves, and they succeeded.)
- An incomplete list, in alphabetical order, of kinks that were part of my sex life this year: biting, bondage, chastity, choking, cock and ball torture, cuckolding, DD/lg, electrostimulation, face-slapping, financial domination, forced feminization, humiliation, hypnosis, intoxication, kicking, punching, rimming/analingus, roleplay, sadomasochism, scratching, sensory deprivation, sleepy sex, spanking, squirting, temperature play, trampling, wax play.
Compared to last year…
- I had 1.96% less sex, i.e. almost exactly the same amount (204 vs. 200 times).
- I had an orgasm 90.5% of the time when I had sex, as opposed to 85.3% last year. Improvements, yay!
- My partner had an orgasm 89% of the times we had sex, as opposed to 103.4% last year, due to our forays into chastity play.
- I had 2 partners (depending on whether you count a one-off blowjob porn shoot), same as last year when I also had 2.
Locations
- I had sex in a total of 4 locations this year, as opposed to 9 last year. Obviously the pandemic had a lot to do with this!
- These locations included my place, my spouse’s place, and two hotels: the Conrad, where we stayed on our wedding night, and the Wythe, where we stayed for our little “staycation” honeymoon.
Highs & lows
- My most sexually active month was November (31 times). There were several months this year that we spent entirely together, but many of those were super stressful due to global news; I think by November our pandemic stress had mellowed slightly so we were fucking more often.
- My least sexually active months were August and September, the only months this year when I didn’t see Matt at all.
- The day on which I had the most sex was January 26th, at 3 times. It was the Sunday of one of Matt’s weekend visits to me in Toronto, so it made sense that we were trying to “cram it all in,” as it were.
- I didn’t have any sessions containing multiple orgasms on my part this year, which is the first time that’s happened to me maybe ever? Orgasms are getting trickier for me as I get older!
Correlations
- The sex acts most highly correlated with orgasm for me were being fucked with a dildo while using a vibrator (152 times) and receiving oral sex (18 times).
- Less common ways I got off were using a vibrator while being fingerfucked (9 times) and being fucked with a dildo while receiving oral sex (2 times).
Sex toys
- My most-used vibrators during partnered sex this year were the Eroscillator Top Deluxe (155 times), the Magic Wand Rechargeable (28), and the Hot Octopuss Amo (2). Notably, many of the times I used the MWR this year, I was using it on my partner and not myself. What can I say, I really love my Eroscillator.
- My most-used dildos during partnered sex were the Njoy Eleven and Vixen Creations Bandit (tied at 32 times each), the Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble (18 times), and the Njoy Pure Wand, New York Toy Collective Carter, and Uberrime Night King (tied at 15 times each). My dildo usage was less diverse this year than some previous years because I spent large swathes of time in New York this year, where all I have access to is Matt’s collection and whatever I can fit into my suitcase.
- My most-used kink toys with partners were a good old-fashioned blindfold (16 times), the Neon Wand and its Power Tripper attachment (5 times), and my custom purpleheart Weal & Breech mallet (3). My RodeoH harness also got more use than usual (3 times) because my partner used it to fuck me with a strap-on while locked up in chastity sometimes.
- The “pervertibles” I used this year included a cucumber, tweezers, and a pair of cowboy boots.
Phone sex
- In 2020, I had phone sex 122 times, versus 246 last year (i.e. about half as much). This is because Matt and I were physically together for 62.8% of the year (we extended visits for weeks/months at a time, both for pandemic reasons and because we were “practicing” cohabitating to make sure it would be a good idea to get married).
- That works out to an average of 10.2 times per month, 2.3 times per week, or 0.33 times per day.
- If you calculate the averages based only on when we were physically apart, we had phone sex 26.9 times per month, 6.3 times per week, or 0.9 times per day, which is much more in line with our usual (i.e. non-pandemic year) phone sex numbers.
- I had 119 orgasms from phone sex, meaning I orgasmed 97.5% of the times we had phone sex. Matt, on the other hand, came only 85 times or 69.7% of the times we had phone sex, again due to periods of chastity.
- Comparing our phone sex numbers to our IRL sex numbers, phone sex was only 37.9% of my sex life this year, versus 54.7% last year.
- The total amount of sex sessions I had this year (IRL sex + phone sex) was 322.
- That works out to an average of 26.83 per month, 6.19 per week, or 0.88 per day. Woof.
Did you keep a record of your sex life this year? Notice anything interesting?
Additional resources if you’re curious:
- My Glamour article on the hows and whys of keeping a sex spreadsheet
- Previous Sextistics posts from 2019, 2018, and 2017