sextistics

It’s that time again, friends! Time for me to comb through my sex spreadsheet, crunch some numbers, and present you with a statistical portrait of my sex life this year. (Previously: 2020, 2019, 2018.)

Before we jump into those juicy juicy stats (!), I just wanted to say that I’ve very much appreciated your readership this year and that I hope you have a lovely New Year’s Eve, however you’re celebrating it, and a 2022 that’s as good as one can reasonably expect. ❤️

Overview

In 2021, I had partnered sex 154 times.
This works out to an average of 12.83 times per month, 2.96 times per week, and 0.42 times per day.
If you calculate the above based only on when me and my partner were physically together this year (which was 6.75 months out of 12), we had sex an average of 22.81 times per month, 4.39 times per week, and 0.76 times per day.
I had 139 orgasms from in-person partnered sex.
My partner had 118 orgasms from in-person partnered sex. That lower number is mostly due to time they spent in chastity.
An incomplete list, in alphabetical order, of kinks that were part of my sex life this year: biting, chastity, cock and ball torture, daddy dom/little girl roleplay, financial domination, forced orgasms, hypnosis, impact play, intoxication play, medical play, orgasm control, orgasm denial, roleplay, ruined orgasms, sadomasochism, scratching, sensory deprivation, sleepy sex, spanking, temperature play.

Compared to last year:

I had 23% less sex (which makes sense because my partner and I spent about 16% less time physically together this year than last year).
I had an orgasm 90.26% of the times I had sex, about the same as last year (90.5%).
My partner had an orgasm 76.62% of the times we had sex versus 89% last year – again, because of us doing chastity play.
I only had 1 sexual partner this year, versus last year when I did BJ porn with someone other than my spouse so I had 2.

Locations

I had sex in 4 different locations this year, same as last year.
Those included my place, my spouse’s place, a relative’s place, and the 6 Columbus hotel in New York City where we stayed for my birthday weekend.
I had a higher orgasm incidence rate at my own apartment (100%) than at Matt’s apartment (89.51%) but that’s mostly just because I had way more sex at Matt’s apartment (143 times versus 8 times) so there were way more chances for me to be too sleepy/tipsy/achy to get off.

Highs & lows

My most sexually active month was October (27 times), though all of the months we spent entirely together had a similar number (20-26).
My least sexually active months were, of course, the ones when I wasn’t with Matt and therefore had sex 0 times (May, June, July, and September).
The most times I had sex in one day was twice, which happened several times.
I didn’t have multiple orgasms during any sessions this year because my body seems to be increasingly incapable of doing so, but my partner had more than one orgasm in a session at least 3 times.

Sex toys

My most-used vibrators during partnered sex this year were the Eroscillator (123 times), Magic Wand Rechargeable (14 times), and We-Vibe Tango X (4 times).
My most-used dildos during partnered sex this year were the Vixen Creations Bandit (30 times), Njoy Eleven (21 times), and New York Toy Collective Carter (19 times).
My most-used kink toys during partnered sex were my Nidra Deep Rest blindfold (53 times), tweezers (5 times), and Glittertops custom paddle and London Tanners Domestic Discipline strap (tied at 3 times each).

Phone sex

In 2021, I had phone sex 71 times, versus 122 last year.
That means that while we were physically apart (which was 5.25 months out of 12), we had phone sex 13.52 times per month, 3.26 times per week, and 0.47 times per day.
I didn’t keep track of orgasm rates during phone sex this year because I couldn’t be bothered, but we both came the vast majority of times, Matt’s stints in chastity being the main exceptions.
Comparing our phone sex numbers to our IRL sex numbers, phone sex was 31.55% of my sex life this year, compared to 37.9% last year.
The total amount of sex sessions I had this year (IRL sex + phone sex) was 225.
That works out to 18.75 times per month, 4.33 times per week, and 0.62 times per day.

Some of the funniest/oddest things in the “Notes” field of my sex spreadsheet this year:

New year’s spanking
Pearl necklace findom
I cried HARD and a LOT
Strap-on handjob trance
Squirted all over their dick
Very good, lots of squirting
“Made” them come in 20 seconds
Punched me to show their love for me

And there you have it! Another year of nerdy stats. Did you track your sex life this year? What did you discover?

As odd as it may seem, keeping a sex spreadsheet again this year (going strong since 2015, baybee!) helped me make sense of the chaotic mess that was 2020. I may not have been able to fuck at my favorite hotels and sex clubs, but I could sure keep my data up-to-date and color-coded.

Here, as per tradition, is a post enumerating and analyzing some of the key stats from my 2020 sex spreadsheet. Strap in!

Overview

In 2020, I had partnered sex 200 times. (Wooo, nice round numbers!)
That works out to an average of 16.66 times per month, 3.84 times per week, and 0.55 times per day.
I had 181 orgasms from partnered sex (not counting phone sex, which has its own section below).
My partner had 178 orgasms during sex with me. (One of their goals, after we started playing with chastity kink, became to give me more orgasms during the year than they had themselves, and they succeeded.)
An incomplete list, in alphabetical order, of kinks that were part of my sex life this year: biting, bondage, chastity, choking, cock and ball torture, cuckolding, DD/lg, electrostimulation, face-slapping, financial domination, forced feminization, humiliation, hypnosis, intoxication, kicking, punching, rimming/analingus, roleplay, sadomasochism, scratching, sensory deprivation, sleepy sex, spanking, squirting, temperature play, trampling, wax play.

Compared to last year…

I had 1.96% less sex, i.e. almost exactly the same amount (204 vs. 200 times).
I had an orgasm 90.5% of the time when I had sex, as opposed to 85.3% last year. Improvements, yay!
My partner had an orgasm 89% of the times we had sex, as opposed to 103.4% last year, due to our forays into chastity play.
I had 2 partners (depending on whether you count a one-off blowjob porn shoot), same as last year when I also had 2.

Locations

I had sex in a total of 4 locations this year, as opposed to 9 last year. Obviously the pandemic had a lot to do with this!
These locations included my place, my spouse’s place, and two hotels: the Conrad, where we stayed on our wedding night, and the Wythe, where we stayed for our little “staycation” honeymoon.

Highs & lows

My most sexually active month was November (31 times). There were several months this year that we spent entirely together, but many of those were super stressful due to global news; I think by November our pandemic stress had mellowed slightly so we were fucking more often.
My least sexually active months were August and September, the only months this year when I didn’t see Matt at all.
The day on which I had the most sex was January 26th, at 3 times. It was the Sunday of one of Matt’s weekend visits to me in Toronto, so it made sense that we were trying to “cram it all in,” as it were.
I didn’t have any sessions containing multiple orgasms on my part this year, which is the first time that’s happened to me maybe ever? Orgasms are getting trickier for me as I get older!

Correlations

The sex acts most highly correlated with orgasm for me were being fucked with a dildo while using a vibrator (152 times) and receiving oral sex (18 times).
Less common ways I got off were using a vibrator while being fingerfucked (9 times) and being fucked with a dildo while receiving oral sex (2 times).

Sex toys

My most-used vibrators during partnered sex this year were the Eroscillator Top Deluxe (155 times), the Magic Wand Rechargeable (28), and the Hot Octopuss Amo (2). Notably, many of the times I used the MWR this year, I was using it on my partner and not myself. What can I say, I really love my Eroscillator.
My most-used dildos during partnered sex were the Njoy Eleven and Vixen Creations Bandit (tied at 32 times each), the Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble (18 times), and the Njoy Pure Wand, New York Toy Collective Carter, and Uberrime Night King (tied at 15 times each). My dildo usage was less diverse this year than some previous years because I spent large swathes of time in New York this year, where all I have access to is Matt’s collection and whatever I can fit into my suitcase.
My most-used kink toys with partners were a good old-fashioned blindfold (16 times), the Neon Wand and its Power Tripper attachment (5 times), and my custom purpleheart Weal & Breech mallet (3). My RodeoH harness also got more use than usual (3 times) because my partner used it to fuck me with a strap-on while locked up in chastity sometimes.
The “pervertibles” I used this year included a cucumber, tweezers, and a pair of cowboy boots.

Phone sex

In 2020, I had phone sex 122 times, versus 246 last year (i.e. about half as much). This is because Matt and I were physically together for 62.8% of the year (we extended visits for weeks/months at a time, both for pandemic reasons and because we were “practicing” cohabitating to make sure it would be a good idea to get married).
That works out to an average of 10.2 times per month, 2.3 times per week, or 0.33 times per day.
If you calculate the averages based only on when we were physically apart, we had phone sex 26.9 times per month, 6.3 times per week, or 0.9 times per day, which is much more in line with our usual (i.e. non-pandemic year) phone sex numbers.
I had 119 orgasms from phone sex, meaning I orgasmed 97.5% of the times we had phone sex. Matt, on the other hand, came only 85 times or 69.7% of the times we had phone sex, again due to periods of chastity.
Comparing our phone sex numbers to our IRL sex numbers, phone sex was only 37.9% of my sex life this year, versus 54.7% last year.
The total amount of sex sessions I had this year (IRL sex + phone sex) was 322.
That works out to an average of 26.83 per month, 6.19 per week, or 0.88 per day. Woof.