best of

12 Days of Girly Juice: 1 Fantastic Toy Company

Kate Sloan

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2015 was the year of the Fucking Sculpture.

Though the company only really pinged on my radar this past year, they’ve been around for a good while. They crashed onto the scene in late 2012, instantly impressing bloggers with their dazzling toys and ballsy name. “These people just cut to the chase,” Epiphora wrote. “They called their company Fucking Sculptures.”

When I first looked at their designs, I agreed that the toys were beautiful – but none of them seemed like a particularly good fit for my anatomy. At the time, I was into bulbous G-spotting heads and drastic curves, ideally without a lot of texture. The ridges, bloops and gentle slopes in Fucking Sculpture’s designs were a treat to look at, but didn’t seem like they’d agree with my vagina.

Fast-forward a couple years, and a chain of events brought Fucking Sculptures to the forefront of my awareness again. I heard Aerie extol the bliss their G-Spoon gave them, including how it creates “mind-blowing A-spot orgasms.” Then I got to speak to the company’s co-founder, Maria, for the radio show I guest-hosted over the summer, and her passion for glass dildos made me even more curious about her products.

Maria was kind enough to send me a G-Spoon and I immediately fell in love with it. Not only is it a stunningly gorgeous piece of art, but it also hits my A-spot better than any other toy I’ve ever used. Friends and sex partners have half-jokingly accused me of being “addicted” to it. Sometimes I call it the “G-Swoon,” for obvious reasons. It is just a perfect chunk of glass.

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In the months since then, I’ve amassed two more Fucking Sculptures toys: the Double Trouble and the Pussywillow. (Reviews to come, eventually.) I wanted these so much that I actually paid for them with real money, which sex toy reviewers rarely do. They’re expensive, but they are worth it. And, you know, they’re not really that expensive, for what they are. Plenty of “luxury” toys are around the same price range or higher and aren’t hand-sculpted in the attentive and exquisite way that Fucking Sculptures are.

I’ve used my Fucking Sculptures with partners, in front of friends, and on camera. They always get oohs and aahs when I pull them out. Friends marvel at their beautiful colors and shapes; partners remark on how weighty they feel in the hand, and how much I writhe and wail when the glass makes contact with a perfect spot inside me. These toys are more than toys – they are pieces of art, conversation starters, prized possessions and treasured trophies.

As of right now, I think I own all the Fucking Sculptures creations I need… but who knows? As 2016 progresses, I might develop a craving for even more.

 

Which company made your favorite toys in 2015?

12 Days of Girly Juice: 9 Best New Sex Toys

Kate Sloan

Yes, it’s that time, folks… Time to reflect back on 2015 and choose the toys that most tickled my fancy and improved my life. If you’ve been following along closely, you can probably guess most of these in advance. Oh wellz – here they are!

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9. The Womanizer has a terrible name, costs a prohibitive amount of money, and is 100% the ugliest sex toy I’ve ever seen. But (she admitted with a sigh of resignation), it also produces a sensation that is certifiably unique and quite often orgasmic. So, while it needs a massive branding overhaul, it still snuck into this list because when I want it, I need it. (Available at SheVibe and Sex Toys Canada.)

8. Is it cheating if I put a toy on this list that I’ve only used one time? My one-of-a-kind, handmade Seaside Steamroller is too humongous for my vagina on all but the limberest of days, but it’s so beautiful that it works well as a display piece nonetheless.

7. I’ve wanted a Liberator Throe since this blog first launched; I’m so glad I finally got one. It keeps me from soaking through to my mattress on the rare occasions that I squirt, and it’s also surprisingly classy and discreet-looking when draped across my bed. Just as long as nobody sits on it and notices the crinkly texture, that is. (Available at SheVibe.)

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6. The Tantus Uncut #1 was my favorite realistic dildo of 2015. Pleasantly girthy, adorably realistic, and comfortably squishy – Tantus totally hit the mark with this one. As a sex toy reviewer, sometimes I get blasé about cocks, but this one was worth getting excited over. (Available at Tantus, SheVibe, Peepshow Toys and Sex Toys Canada.)

5. The Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble is incredible. My A-spot and G-spot are obsessed. Designed in a collaboration between porn maven Courtney Trouble and artisanal glass dildo geniuses Fucking Sculptures, it truly is “where art meets sex, then fucks itself.”

4. “Don’t call it a comeback…” Everyone’s favorite wand vibrator, ye olde Hitachi, got revamped and relaunched this year as the Magic Wand Rechargeable. It’s one of the most reliable vibrators I’ve ever owned. Maybe that sounds boring, but it’s not. It gets me off, easily, quickly, consistently, and often through my pajama pants. And that’s quite a feat. (Available at SheVibe, Peepshow Toys and Sex Toys Canada.)

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3. My G-spot kinda spasms in delight at the very thought of the NobEssence Seduction. It hits my spot so perfectly, so completely, so intensely that I often come in a couple minutes or less. It’s also freaking gorgeous and feels like a luxury item. Mmm, NobEssence. (Available at SheVibe.)

2. My acquisition of the Njoy Eleven was like a romance in a teen movie. People told me to stay away. I tried to resist, but then I gave in. Then I fell deeply, swiftly in love. And it was a love like no other. How can this toy hit my G-spot and A-spot simultaneously?! How can it leave me feeling as sated and breathless as if I’d just been fucked by a 6’2″ muscly dom dude in a leather jacket?! How can an object so perfect possibly exist in the real world?! (Available at SheVibe, Peepshow Toys and Sex Toys Canada.)

1. Bury me with my Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon in my vagina. If I’ve gotta die, I might as well get stellar A-spot stimulation from here to eternity. Seriously, this toy hits my deep spot better than any other I’ve ever owned, and it does it all while being stunningly beautiful. I will never stop fawning over the G-Spoon. It is my love, my everything, my addiction, my obsession. Blah, blah, blah, just buy one already! (Available at SheVibe.)

 

As you can see, it’s been a pretty good year for sex toys! What were some of your favorites in 2015?

12 Days of Girly Juice: 11 Favorite Blog Posts

Kate Sloan

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The ladies of The Blogcademy say you don’t really find your “voice” as a blogger ’til you’ve written about 500 posts. I crossed the threshold of 400 this year, so I’m not quite there… Nonetheless, I’m still pretty proud of most of what I wrote in 2015! Here are 11 highlights of the year from my blog…

In February, I wrote about how to bring more romantic energy into your life. This is a topic I feel passionately about – not nearly enough of us go through our day-to-day lives with hearts in our eyes and sparks in our hearts! This was also a prophetic post, because the later part of 2015 involved lots ‘n’ lots of romantic energy for me. Yay!

I loved interviewing poli sci professor/pro-level squirter Shannon Bell for a magazine article, so I wrote about her for this blog as well. I’d like to do more stuff like this in 2016: interviewing, profiling and highlighting people who do interesting work in the field of sex.

I wrote a fair bit about blogging and writing in 2015, and one of my favorite posts on that topic was about creating good content. I thought a lot this year about what kind of content I want my blog to include (mainly: fewer product reviews and more meaty, helpful, feel-good stuff!) so I was glad to be able to write about that. I also ended up leading a session on generating post ideas at a bloggers’ retreat, because according to Bex, I am the “queen of productivity.” Aww.

One of my favorite things is educating folks about little-known erogenous zones. I’ve known about my external G-spot for quite a while but finally decided to write about it in April. I’ve heard from several readers since then who’ve tried stimulating theirs, often with nifty results. Yay, pleasure!

It felt strange to write about how to date when you have anxiety, considering that I barely manage to keep my anxiety in check in most romantic situations. But mental health is a hugely important topic to me, and I wanted to contribute my limited knowledge and experiences to the field, just incase they might help someone.

Tina Horn is one of my sex-positive idols, so getting to interview her was a definite high point of my year. We talked about journalism ethics, kink exploration, and the time she sold horny goat weed lube to Jay-Z and Beyoncé. Amazing.

The award for “blog post that made me cry the most while I was writing and editing it” goes to 10 Reasons Why Sex-Positive Friendship is Important. I made some profound and lasting friendships with other bloggers and sex-positive weirdos this year, and it felt crucial that I write about them.

I’m not sure that any Twitter creeps actually read my post on how to reply to women on Twitter without disgracing your entire gender, but it was still fun to write. And I know that several of my blogger babes forward this link to disrespectful douchebags on the reg, so I think it’s served its purpose.

A Body Pride workshop made me ponder the 3 questions you can ask someone if you wanna fall in love with them a little. I still think these are great first-date questions.

It was fun to write about penis terror and blowjob anxiety. I like communicating bigger life lessons through sex stories from my actual life. And it’s powerful to take something that feels embarrassing and shameful and reframe it as a triumph – because, fuck yeah, I triumphed!

Just recently, I wrote about fatness, insecurity and desirability, and the reaction to it blew me away. Y’all supported me, cheered me on, empathized, and many of you directly shared my struggles and concerns. Writing and publicizing this post reminded me how important it is to write about what’s authentically bugging you: it’s cathartic, and it’s likely to help others who are going through the same stuff.

 

Fellow blogger pals: what were your favorite things you wrote this year?

The Best and Worst Sex Toys of 2014

Kate Sloan

Having strong feelings about sex toys is kind of in my job description. I’ve been doing it all year long.

Normally I would write a wrap-up covering only toys that I reviewed this year, like I did for 2013. But I actually didn’t review as many toys this year, and most of the ones I did review, I didn’t like.

So, in lieu of doing a standard best-and-worst-of-the-year list, I’m just going to tell you what I loved and hated most this year, regardless of when I reviewed it or when it came out. Some classics are classic for a reason, y’know?

The best of the best

Best new vibrator: Pickings were slim this year as far as good new vibrators go. My favorite one I personally tried was the Revel Body SOL, though it still has its issues (like making me feel alternately overstimulated and understimulated until, finally, I somehow have an orgasm).

Best old vibrator: My ol’ faithful, the Eroscillator, still sits on my nightstand at all times (except when I’m using it, of course) and is the toy I reach for when I want to get off quickly and easily. Honorable mentions go to the always-satisfying, hella-rumbly We-Vibe Salsa and Tango, though I still hate their finicky charger (surely someone wants to gift me the new version for Christmas?!).

Best new dildo: The Tantus Slow Drive came out on top. I was pleasantly surprised by its G-spotting abilities and I liked that it comes in two different length options. The short purple one holds a place of honor on my desk at the moment.

Best old dildo: The Fleshjack Boys line has been out for years but I only recently fell in love with the magnificent monster of a cock that is the Brent Everett dildo. My review is coming soon; hold tight!

Best anal toy: I had neutral-to-negative feelings about every single anal toy I tried this year. (Dramatic, disappointed sigh.) So this award goes to my Njoy Pure Plug because a) it’s still terrific and b) it cured my constipation in June (in conjunction with some lube with possible laxative qualities).

Best harness: I’m not sure I’ve ever felt sexier than I do while wearing my Aslan Jaguar. Here’s hoping I’ll actually have occasion to use it in 2015!

The worst of the worst

Most painful toy: Oh god. My innards cringe at the memory. This title is jointly awarded to the Lelo Ida, which I compared to having a sharp rock in your vagina, and the Pipedream Metal Worx Luv Plug, which just did not get along with my buttcheeks in the slightest.

Worst marketing: I raged over the nauseatingly gendered marketing of Pink and Gun Oil lubes, and the fact that the “male” version is literally the exact same product but is cheaper. I also went “WTF” along with the whole sex blogosphere when Lelo launched the Pino; here’s Epiphora taking it to task.

Worst sex toy innovation: I love you, Tantus, but the Plunge paddle-dildo hybrid confused me and just did not work.

What sex products did you hate and love this year?

The Best and Worst Toys of 2013

Kate Sloan

It’s that time, folks! Here are my favorite and least favorite toys I reviewed this year (some of which actually launched this year, some of which didn’t)…

Best G-spot dildo: Without a doubt, the Jopen Key Comet Wand. This silicone/glass hybrid launched early in the year and knocked the socks off most sex toy reviewers who tried it, myself included. It produces shockingly intense G-spot sensations and looks gorgeous all the while. (Available at Sex Toys Canada and Early to Bed.)

Best glass dildo: The SSA Glass Royal Adventure. Glass toys can be hit-or-miss, because a shitty design can make for a very uncomfortable or even painful toy – but the Royal Adventure suffers from none of these issues. Its corkscrew-like texture massages my vaginal walls and its slightly bulging head feels lovely on my G-spot. (Sadly no longer available; these are similar: Icicles no. 5, Mr. Swirly, Pink Swirled Delight.)

Best realistic dildo: The VixSkin Maverick. I finally got around to trying this one after worrying for months about whether or not my vagina would be able to accommodate it, and I surprised myself with my vaginal proficiency! The Maverick is an ultra-satisfying monster of a dildo, with a G-spot-pleasing mega-sized coronal ridge. It wears well in a harness, too! (Available at Lovehoney.)

Best vibrator: The Lelo Mona 2. I haven’t reviewed this one yet, but it was, without a doubt, the best vibrator of the year. Strong, rumbly, rechargeable, waterproof, quiet, versatile, elegant, and ergonomic. If you can only afford one vibrator, get this one. (Available at SheVibe, Sex Toys Canada, and Lovehoney.)

Best sex toy innovation: The Fun Factory Stronic Eins. There are no other toys on the market that pulsate like the Stronic line, though I’m sure there will be by this time next year, given the success of these toys. The Stronic Eins is the ultimate in lazy masturbation and is a dream come true for folks who fantasize about PIV sex. And it comes in an obnoxiously bright pink hue. (Available at Sex Toys Canada, Early to Bed and Lovehoney.)

Best kink implement: The Tantus silicone paddles. My favorite is the Wham Bam but you’ll get a rollicking good time out of any one of them. (Available at Tantus, Peepshow and Lovehoney.)

Worst dildo: Indubitably the Joyful Pleasures Joyful Plant. I requested it knowing I wouldn’t like it, and naturally, I didn’t. I mean, it’s shaped like a tiny eggplant. At least now I have a cool story to tell when people ask me about the weirdest toy I’ve ever reviewed. (No longer available)

Worst vibrator: It was a bad year for vibrators. Very few high-end (i.e. body-safe and rechargeable or electric) vibes launched, and those that did were mostly shitty. But the ones I hated most out of all the vibes I reviewed this year were the Leaf Spirit and Fun Factory LayaSpot. They were too weak to get me off, and I didn’t like their color schemes much either. (Leaf Spirit available at Sex Toys Canada. Fun Factory LayaSpot available at Sex Toys Canada and Lovehoney.)

Worst butt toy: The Something Forbidden plug. Literally one of the worst toys I have ever reviewed, in terms of safety and design. My butt still fears it. (Available at SheVibe and Lovehoney.)

Worst sex toy innovation: Another one I haven’t reviewed yet – the Lelo Ida. You’ll have to wait for my full review to come out, but for now, just know that I literally screamed in pain the first time I used it. (Available at SheVibe.)

Worst kink implement: The Sportsheets Doggie-Style Strap. I’m sure it would be useful for some folks, but my boyfriend and I got no benefit out of it whatsoever. I might try to work it into a future outfit as a pink cummerbund. (Available at SheVibe.)

Aaaand that’s a wrap! I’m going to take a little blogging break until the new year, methinks – and then I’ll be back with more sex toy reviews and sexual musings in 2014!

What were your favorite (and least favorite) toys of the year? What do you hope to see next year?