blowjob

Interview: Sophie Delancey from The Art of Blowjob

Kate Sloan

Sophie Delancey is one of the awesomest babes I know. As VP of The Art of Blowjob and The Art of Cunnilingus, she makes (and sometimes performs in!) ridiculously hot oral sex porn. She’s also one of the founders and hosts of Tell Me Something Good here in Toronto, and she does burlesque. What a hard-workin’ fox!

I’ve been wanting to profile some of the wonderful sex-positive folks I know, and Sophie’s the first person I’m interviewing for this series. I hope you feel inspired by her hustle and hotness – I know I do!

Girly Juice: What’s your official title?

Sophie Delancey: I’m the Vice President of our group of websites, and I’m specifically functioning as the sex educator for TheArtofBlowjob.com’s new educational series.

GJ: What does your day-to-day work entail?

SD: What doesn’t it entail? I take care of all of our PR, social media, any writing for the sites/blogs/other sources, handle our business-to-business work, direct/edit/perform from time to time, research/write/record the educational updates, spearhead new projects and generally serve as the voice and first line of contact for the sites.

GJ: What makes Art of Blowjob/Art of Cunnilingus notably different from all the other oral sex porn that’s out there?

SD: We just try to focus on the sensuality and simple beauty of the act. Our filming, editing and shooting experience is all about just gently accentuating what’s so awesome about taking your time to focus on oral sex instead of rushing through it like more goal-oriented sexual scripts. Orgasms are awesome, so are other sex acts, but sometimes the joy is really the ride. We want to do one thing and do it well!

GJ: What is it about oral sex in particular that you find so intriguing?

SD: I love both giving and receiving, putting that together or separating the two. I have a huge oral fixation and I love getting up close and personal with my partner’s body and taking it all in. It’s like sensory overload. I love being overwhelmed. Giving oral sex means enjoying the pleasure of giving pleasure in and of itself, devoting yourself to exactly what makes your partner feel amazing, honing your skills and really devoting yourself to the experience. Receiving means being present in your body, losing the shame that a lot of us have around our genitals, giving yourself over to the experience, finding out what works for you, being a bit selfish and just getting in touch with your sensual self.

GJ: What’s the best part of your job?

SD: I’m loving the educational series on The Art of Blowjob, which is also forthcoming on The Art of Cunnilingus in the next month or so. Breaking down every little tip, technique, piece of advice, trick, communication stumbling block… It’s amazing how much there is to oral sex. I have always loved the times I’ve gotten to give advice/sex education, so this is definitely my strong point.

GJ: And what’s the worst part of your job?

SD: Probably when people make all of the sexist assumptions that people make about women who work in porn… Luckily I’ve got so much support in my life for what I do that it makes it a lot easier to shrug it off.

GJ: What would be your advice for someone who wants to do similar work to what you’re doing?

SD: Diversify! Get a whole bunch of skills. If you want to work in porn, you should probably know how to direct, edit, write, update social media, dabble with web/graphic design, talk a good game about sexuality and have new, interesting ideas. It sounds overwhelming, but jobs in porn (and the arts, politics, non-profits… All the weirder industries!) rely on versatility and people who are really passionate/motivated.

Thanks so much to Sophie Delancey for giving us a glimpse into her work life and sex life! Make sure to check out her fine work at The Art of Blowjob and The Art of Cunnilingus.

Blowjob-Friendly Lipsticks For Every Budget

Kate Sloan

You might not know how much I love makeup, because you never get to see my face on this blog. But I really, really do. I take great pleasure in femmifying my face each morning. It makes me feel awake, alert, foxy as fuck, and ready to face the day.

But makeup can be a problem in certain sexual contexts, particularly if, like me, you don’t tend to date people who also wear makeup. Femmes tend to understand and accept each other’s painted-face proclivities; dudes and butches, not as much. In fact, some of them get pissed if you dare to leave a lipstick mark on their face, collar, or dick.

Additionally, it ain’t cute to come up from a blowjob with red/pink/purple smeared all over your cheeks and chin. That’s a time when you should be basking in your sexual mastery, not frantically checking yourself out in the mirror when your partner starts laughing hysterically at your Picasso-lookin’ mug. (Not that this has happened to me, or anything…)

Incase you’re wondering, here’s the procedure I used to rigorously test these lipsticks for your oral sex usage: I applied each product normally (no fancy tricks to extend their wear-time), waited a couple minutes for the product to dry/set, snapped a “before” picture, spent about 5 minutes enthusiastically fellating my Tantus Mark O2 (it’s a fairly average size and shape for a dick; I had no real ones at my disposal!), and then took an “after” photo. In between lipsticks, I wiped the previous product off my mouth (and the dildo) with a makeup removal wipe before applying the next one.

All of these products claim to be long-wearing. Let’s see how they actually perform, shall we?

NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream in “San Paulo” ($6 at drugstores), the cheapest product of the bunch, is a matte liquid lipstick that claims to be “surprisingly durable.” It’s usually pretty comfortable on the lips, but I do find it can get a bit drying after many hours of wear.

On the face: Happily, this didn’t smear outside of my lip area, but it did fade a little in the middle. Still definitely impressive, though.

On the dick: I found a leeeetle bit of pink on the underside of the dildo where it came into rough repeated contact with the inner part of my lower lip. It was hardly enough to be noticeable, however.

Overall: 8 out of 10. This product performs very commendably for its price point.

Maybelline SuperStay 14HR lipstick in “Enduring Ruby” ($9 at drugstores) is a traditional (i.e. non-liquid) lipstick formula that claims to last for 14 hours. It smells like cherries (mmm), applies smoothly, and wears very comfortably.

On the face: This stuff pretty much stayed put on my lips. The color was maybe a little faded, but it faded uniformly, not just in the middle – and there was no smearing or flaking.

On the dick: There was quiiiite a bit of red on the cock when I got done with it, especially around the head area.

Overall: 6 out of 10. I look fierce in this lipstick and it doesn’t move around once it’s on, but I’m not sure any future partners of mine would be cool with getting their dick so thoroughly rouged.

Stila Stay All Day liquid lipstick in “Beso” ($29 at Sephora) paradoxically claims to “stay all day” but also says it’s only meant to last up to 6 hours. (I dunno about you, but my days are typically longer than 6 hours!) It smells like vanilla cake batter, and is mostly comfortable but can feel drying after a couple of hours. When you first apply it, it’s a liquid, but then it dries to a matte finish (I find the drying process works best if I keep my mouth open while it dries, so my lips don’t touch).

On the face: The color didn’t fade or move, but the friction against my lips caused the product to look a bit dry and flaky by the time I was done. That might not matter to you if you’re just going to curl up next to your sweetie after the BJ, but if you’re going out right after, I’d recommend fixing it because the dryness is not a cute look and it feels weird on the lips.

On the dick: There was a small amount of red on both the head and the shaft of the cock.

Overall: 6.5 out of 10. This product performs okay, but for $29, I expect greatness. I also docked it half a point for being incredibly difficult to remove with a makeup wipe; I prefer to keep my lip irritation to a minimum, thanks!

Sephora Collection cream lip stain in “01 Always Red” ($16 at Sephora) is described as an “intense color that stays put.” It’s often considered a dupe for the Stila lipstick above, but I actually like the formula better than the Stila one; it applies more smoothly, dries more quickly, and feels like nothing on my lips.

On the face: It stayed exactly as I applied it: perfectly crisp and saturated. No smearing or fading whatsoever.

On the dick: There were a few flakes of red on the dildo, particularly around the sides of the shaft where the corners of my mouth rubbed. It was pretty clean for the most part though.

Overall: 9 out of 10! I’ve worn this lipstick on many a late-night adventure, often involving lots of drinks and/or greasy food, and it’s always performed great; I’m glad to see its magnificence transfers to blowjobs as well. And at only $16, it’s a steal compared to its high-end equivalents.

Make Up For Ever Aqua Rouge waterproof liquid lip color in “16 Fuchsia” ($29 at Sephora) is a liquid lipstick that claims to give “a waterproof, smudge-proof result that will not transfer or fade.” It’s double-ended: first you apply the lip color, then you apply the clear gloss on top to lock it in. (You can also just apply the lip color and skip the gloss, but I find it feels very drying this way.)

On the face: My lips were perhaps slightly less glossy after the BJ than they were when I started, but the difference was negligible. The lip color stayed perfectly in place.

On the dick: I could find no evidence whatsoever of pink on the dick. A small amount of the clear gloss may have transferred, but not to the point of making the dildo feel greasy. Plus the gloss doesn’t have any scent or taste so it won’t irritate whoever owns the dick you’re blowing.

Overall: 9.5 out of 10! I deducted half a point because the lip color takes what seems like forever to dry completely (about 3 minutes) and I have to leave my mouth hanging open that whole time for it to dry properly – and also because I don’t like the added annoyance of the two-step color/gloss process, even though it’s proven to aid longevity. But all things considered, Aqua Rouge is the best option of any of these products if you want your lipstick to really stay put during a blowjob.

And one bonus product pick: Lipcote is a lipstick sealer. It’s a clear, thin product you apply over any (blotted/non-glossy) lipstick to make it last longer. I wasn’t able to find it here in North America and ordered it from the UK for about $7.25. For the purposes of this post, I applied it over a lipstick that’s not meant to be long-wearing: Rimmel Kate Moss lipstick in shade “107.”

On the face: Everything basically stayed intact. There was a small amount of fading on the very inner edges of my lips.

On the dick: A fair bit of lipstick flaked off onto the sides and underside of the dildo.

Overall: 7 out of 10. Lipcote performs well but I hate how long it takes to dry, how sticky/tacky it makes my lips feel, and the fact that it gives my lips a stinging/burning sensation when I apply it. Not worth the trouble, if you ask me!

What’s your favorite long-wearing lipstick? Have you ever given oral sex while wearing it?

Let’s Talk About Terminology: Oral Sex For Ladies

Kate Sloan

(Blogger note: sorry for the dearth of sex toy reviews recently! I am waiting on a bunch of toy shipments at the moment. Don’t worry your pretty little head – I’ll be back to talking about dildos and vibrators on the regs in no time!)

There are so many ways in which misogyny manifests itself in our culture – ugh, so very many! – and language is definitely one of those. In fact, that’s one of the main reasons I decided to start this feature: to dissect sexist language conventions.

You can observe this shit in the different terms for oral sex performed on a man and on a woman. The gents have cool nouns like “blowjob,” “hummer,” and “brain.” They have great verb phrases like “sucking cock” and “giving head.” And there are specific terms for individual BJ techniques like “deepthroating” and “teabagging.” (By the way, if any of those look unfamiliar to you, get yo’ ass to Urban Dictionary, stat!)

What do we ladies have? Well, there’s the über-clinical “cunnilingus,” which is a fabulous word but not always practical in casual, heat-of-the-moment situations. There’s “eating pussy,” “eating out,” and “going down,” which are fine but sort of standard and boring (plus I really don’t like the word “eating” being used in sex terms unless there is actual eating involved). There are goofy slang terms that no one takes seriously, like “eating a box lunch” or “dining at the Y.” And as for non-clinical nouns, there isn’t a good one. “Tongue job” is the closest I’ve found, and I think it can be kind of hot in the right context, but mostly it’s still the sort of thing that elicits laughter rather than dirty thoughts.

So how do we remedy this slang situation? I propose a two-part plan…

First, reclaim non-gendered slang. I love the phrase “getting head” (or giving it) as a gender-neutral term for oral sex. There’s no reason why it ought to be gendered; oral sex, after all, involves somebody’s head and somebody’s genitals, regardless of whether those genitals are a penis or a vulva (or something in between!). Some people use “giving face” as the female equivalent of “giving head,” but whatever, bro. I don’t see why a distinction is necessary.

Second, make up your own slang terms and spread ‘em around. That’s what I try to do with “tongue job.” I’d love to hear your ideas for pussy-munchin’ vocabulary. In fact, I’d love to see the whole sex blogosphere agree on a few terms for cunnilingus and start propagating the hell out of them!

Photo credit: I can’t figure out who did the modifying, but it’s an altered version of this image from Comically Vintage!

Tittyfucking for Small-Breasted Ladies: A Primer

Kate Sloan

I have small tits. No pity, please – I’m okay with it. I used to resent the way they failed to match up with my wide hips, rendering my figure imbalanced and pear-shaped – but I’ve grown to love my itty bitties.

There are, however, a few drawbacks to having smaller bazungas. You get fewer honks in the street (arguably not such a huge loss). You can never dress up as Joan Holloway for Hallowe’en. And, perhaps most importantly, you can’t be properly tittyfucked.

Or can you?

Having just wrapped up a tittyfucking session with my man, it struck me that I should write out a few tips for any minuscule-busted women who still want some penis-to-chest action.

1. Warm him up first. As any even remotely sexually experimental person knows, more arousal = more sensitivity. Try getting him riled up without touching his penis at all – make out with him, kiss his neck, play with his nipples, nibble his thighs… Whatever gets your man going, do it until he’s writhing and moaning for more.

2. Use lube. I would still use lube for this activity even if I had huge tits, because, well, chests don’t self-lubricate. As a general rule, lube improves any sexual activity – so if you have trouble with a particular act, throw some lube into the mix and see if it doesn’t help.

3. Hold your boobs together. Again, I’m sure this is something big-breasted women have to do as well, but it’s especially important if you’re less well-endowed. Gather ‘em up in your hands and use the heels of your palms to push them together around his cock.

4. Use your hands, too. If you’re using your palms to handle your breasts, as I just recommended, then your fingers are free to settle on top of his dick and do some stimulatin’. For example, my man likes pressure right at the base of his cock, so I can administer that with some of my fingers while using the rest to rub and stroke while he pumps away. It provides a little something extra that he loves.

5. Use your verbal and visual talents. Give him something to look at (a sexy gaze, a genuine smile) and something to listen to (dirty talk, moans, what have you). A very basic, but highly effective piece of pillow talk might be something like, “I can’t wait for you to come all over me.”

6. Have a backup plan. Let’s be real here: in our world of circumcised cocks and death grip syndrome, not every guy is going to be sensitive enough to reach orgasm from fucking a pair of teensy tits. It’s no biggie (pun intended!) – just make sure you know what to do next if your plan isn’t working out. You could jerk him off into your mouth, suck him off, or even push him back on the bed and climb on top for some cowgirl action. Whatever it is, don’t feel bad – just because something doesn’t induce an orgasm doesn’t mean it didn’t feel amazing.

Getting Over Penis Terror: A Triumphant Tale

Kate Sloan

Once upon a time, I was a little queer girl who had never touched a penis.

Admittedly, I had never touched anyone else’s pussy either. But I’d previously been in a sexual relationship with another girl for a year and a half, and I’d been skilfully managing my own pussy for almost two decades, so there was no intimidation there.

Single but desperately ready to mingle, it dawned on me that a huge part of my issue was my fear of penises. It dominated the shadowy back room of my brain, threatening to burst through and cause major anxiety. I’d think about a cute guy, fantasize about kissing him, maybe contemplate his tongue on my clit, but as soon as his dick became part of my visualization, I felt sick and confused.

Not to get all hippie-dippy on you, but I am certain that the universe sensed my penile apprehension, and that that’s why my romantic life was such a disaster during that time. I longed for my (safe, reliable, non-terrifying) female ex, and wrote her pathetic love songs, which freaked her the fuck out. I dated a guy who was entirely wrong for me and ended up dumping me so he could fuck four other girls at a party. I spent all my time wishing for a boyfriend while unconvincingly sidestepping what I knew was the real issue.

Men wrote to me on OkCupid, men of two different varieties: those who propositioned me for casual sex, and those who seemed genuinely sweet and interested in dating me. The former, I ignored, or occasionally wrote rude replies to; the latter category of men, however, were more difficult. I strung them along, convincing both them and myself that we would eventually meet, even just for coffee, but as soon as that possibility became real, I panicked and ended all contact. All because of that looming, impending penis that gnawed at my composure.

That didn’t change when I first started going out with Jeremy*, but I did like him more than I’d liked anyone in a long while. We went on cute dates to tea shops and bookstores, and while I giggled and gallivanted with him, I secretly dreaded the moment his pants would inevitably come off.

I let him touch me – over the shirt, under the bra, over the skirt, under the panties. I let him do all sorts of nice things to me, all of which he (thank god) loved doing. Sometimes I would be overcome with guilt that I hadn’t reciprocated his sensual touch yet, and I would burst into tears while lying with my head on his chest. He’d hold me and tell me it was okay, I could go as slow as I wanted, and he’d be willing to wait forever for me. But I didn’t want him to have to wait forever.

It was a combination of attraction, mild cajoling, and plain courage that finally got me to touch his penis for the first time. He said, “You don’t even have to do anything to it. You can just put your hand on it.” So I did.

It wasn’t so bad. Soft and sensitive, just like my girly bits. Lightning didn’t strike me dead; I didn’t faint from terror. It was just… fine.

After a couple minutes of gentle, idle touching, I withdrew my hand and he let me watch him jerk off. I snuggled up to him and cast my gaze on the way his hand worked his foreskin up and over the head of his cock, again and again, alternately concealing and revealing that moist, pink surface. That night, I wrote in my journal, It was actually kind of gorgeous.

*Name changed to protect the cocks and egos of the innocent.