
The other day, I was on the phone with a far-away person I’m newly dating, and I whined, “How am I going to get through the next few months without fucking you?!” This person and I likely won’t be able to see each other IRL again until the new year, which is causing me great consternation, because frankly, I want them to tear me apart.
They laughed good-naturedly, like they understood exactly how I feel – and then they said, “Innovations like this will help,” while sharply buzzing the Lovense Lush Mini that was inside me at the time. I gasped when I felt their teasing touch from 2,500 miles away, just as I would if they had slid two fingers inside me while lying next to me in bed.
These ‘teledildonic’ technologies (as they’re called in the biz) still astonish me whenever I use them. I never could’ve dreamed, as a horny swoony young thing in the early days of the social internet, that someday even my most geographically distant crushes could fuck me senseless, without so much as setting foot in my country – and that it could actually feel intimate, romantic, and hot. The internet has certainly wrought many evils on the world, but I regard teledildonics as one of its more positive achievements, a massive step forward in the human ability to connect.
All this to say: long-distance sex toy company Lovense is having a Black Friday sale right now, and I am more than qualified to tell you which of their toys you should snap up, whether you plan on using them solo, with a nearby partner, or with someone who lives hundreds (if not thousands) of miles away from you.

Lush Mini G-spot vibrator (full review here) – $129
My current fave in the Lovense lineup, this one is comfy, quiet, and deliciously rumbly. My G-spot is very picky when it comes to vibration, but the deep resonance and wide range of these vibrations make it feel wonderful, even throughout lengthy sessions lasting up to 2 hours (!!). This toy is so well-shaped for G-spot stimulation that it can even make me squirt. Pretty amazing stuff.
Edge 2 vibrating butt plug – on sale for $89
This is one of my absolute faves to use on a partner – specifically, a prostate-possessing partner – because it has two different motors which you can control separately, one that massages the perineum and one that targets the prostate more directly. The angle of the plug is adjustable, so it’s a good pick whether you like a lot of prostate pressure or not much at all.
Domi 2 wand vibrator (full review here) – on sale for $89
It’s a known fact that I love wand vibrators, so of course I enjoy Lovense’s wand! It’s not as rumbly/powerful as some full-size wands I’ve tried, but its range of intensities is nonetheless impressive, and I enjoy its petite form factor, which makes it more accessible to me than those heftier wands. It’s even small enough to use during PIV sex in certain positions.

Ambi bullet vibrator – on sale for $35!!
Probably the best deal in this whole sale! The Ambi is Lovense’s answer to other rumbly bullets like my beloved Tango X. Its cool handle shape makes it easier to hold in various positions, and its shape gives you tons of sensation options, from broad to pinpoint pleasure. If you’ve been wanting to experience Lovense’s legendarily rumbly motors, $35 for an Ambi is probably the best deal you’re ever gonna get!
Flexer dual-stimulation wearable vibe – on sale for $89
Intrigued by the bestselling Lush, but prefer something with clitoral stimulation? The Flexer is for you! Its internal portion is shaped to curve right into your G-spot just like the Lush does, but it also has an external arm that delivers deep, rumbly clitoral vibrations. A must-have for fans of blended orgasms – plus it’s comfy when ‘worn’ out and about (especially with a good water-based lube, reapplied as needed) so it’s great for discreet public scenes.
Nora & Max 2 rabbit vibe + vibrating stroker bundle – on sale for $179
One of the coolest things about Lovense’s teledildonic toys is that some of them can ‘talk to’ each other, making long-distance sex feel even more like sex. For example, the faster you thrust the Nora rabbit vibe in and out of yourself, the more intensely your partner’s Max 2 stroker will vibrate… or, the faster you thrust in and out of your Max 2 stroker, the more intensely your partner’s Nora rabbit will vibrate. My wife and I have enjoyed using these toys both together and separately, and this Black Friday sale is a fantastic deal on the duo!
This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write fair and honest reviews of these products. As always, all writing and opinions are truthful and are my own.















