dildo

What’s Changed Since I Started Reviewing Sex Toys?

Kate Sloan

I’ve been blogging about sex toys for over a month now. I started out writing about toys I already had, moved on to receiving free items to review, and now I’m blogging for Sex Toys Canada and reviewing for a few different sites. I’m surprised at how quickly this project has taken off for me, and how much fun I’ve had so far, even with only a month of work under my belt.

I’ve noticed myself changing already, though – for the better. Here are a few of the differences I’ve spotted in myself since I got started on this road of vibrator-touting.

1. I use lube now. I was always one of those girls who figured my natural lubrication would be enough. It was only when I started reading other reviewers’ work that I realized how many other people insist on always using lube when they masturbate. I’m now a staunch supporter of smearing my beloved Blossom Organics on any toy that’s going into me, and it has improved the experience more than I would’ve thought.

2. I actually like porn now. Prior to reading other sex blogs, I wasn’t terribly aware of the “alt porn” scene. I had no idea who James Deen, Danny Wylde, Belladonna, and Dylan Ryan were. I thought most porn was bound to be gross airbrushed shit, with fake-looking orgasms and tons of female degradation. But then I started watching stuff like Sexing the Transman XXX and Dylan and Danny Extra Credit, and I realized that porn can be real and extremely hot. Now I’m an avid alt porn consumer, and it has changed the way I experience solo sex.

3. I truly enjoy using toys. I used to sort of view sex toys as a means to an end – whatever made me come the fastest was a winner. But reviewing has forced me to step back and enjoy the journey as well, since that’s mainly what I’m reporting on when I write about a toy. I notice little details – textures, intensities, shapes – more than ever. It’s like an exercise in meditative masturbation.

4. I care about what I put into my orifices. I know that jelly toys are evil, so I haven’t used my jelly rabbit at all since I started reviewing, and I plan on replacing it with an elastomer version as soon as I can. I’m also very careful about keeping glycerin-laden lubes away from my junk… not to mention, I stay the fuck away from anal toys that don’t have a flared base.

5. I’m learning what I like. I already knew what I need from a partner; now I’m coming to understand what I need from a toy. I don’t enjoy internal vibrations. I can’t take more than seven inches before bumping into my cervix. I love the way glass feels inside me. My G-spot responds best to firm, rhythmic pressure. I need to rub vibrators against myself in order to get off. I don’t care if a toy is loud as long as it works. And I cherish being able to receive oral sex while a large, firm toy is buried inside me. Being sure of what I want is one of the best gifts I could give to myself, as it helps with every facet of my sexuality.

I’m looking forward to more adventures in the world of sex toy reviewing. For now, I’m just beginning my journey, and it’s been an outrageous amount of fun so far.

Review: Lelo Ella

Kate Sloan

Prior to buying Ella, my sex toy collection contained only one dildo. One. It’s rippled and made of glass, and while it’s not terribly exciting, I’ve never really wanted for more until recently.

It was Epiphora’s review that made me want Ella with a rabid, raging lust. ‘Piph tells a tale of G-spot glory, of her first non-clitoral orgasm, and ultimately of squirting. As someone who has only ever been able to come clitorally, and without waterworks, I knew I needed to try this toy.

Lelo’s packaging is, as always, a triumph. My all-white Ella came in a matching white slip-box, which contained Lelo’s signature thick black monogrammed cardboard box. I have five Lelos now (I know, I know, somebody stop me) and those boxes sure look gorgeous when they’re all stacked up. They’re like the sex toy equivalent of a set of elegant encyclopedias on the shelf.

My first impression, upon opening said box, was that the Ella is smaller than I expected. It’s made for G-spotting enthusiasts, not size queens – so if you crave fullness, this is not the toy for you.

Now, onto the good stuff… Jacking off with Ella is a joy. With a dollop of water-based lube (don’t use silicone on silicone!), even that awkward-looking G-spotting end slides right in. And once it’s in, it goes right for its goal: the G-spot. Depending on your anatomy, you may find that you need to push the toy in a little deeper or pull it out a little bit to help it find your spot – but mine can be found by Ella right away, like magic.

I like this toy a lot, but even as the G-spotting novice that I am, I can tell that it doesn’t do its job perfectly, although it does do it quite well. Ella’s made of 100% silicone – a blessing in terms of safety and hygiene, but not so great if you want something firm. The toy’s body is hard and practically unyielding, but the neck has some give to it, which makes it difficult to put a lot of pressure on the G-spot. It’s certainly easier to apply pressure with Ella than it was with my fingers, or my curveless glass dildo, but it’s not as easy as it would be with a completely rigid toy.

Still, there are other times when the silicone feels too hard. Ella hits my G-spot so nicely that it makes me want to thrust much faster, and when I do that, the toy’s pointy end sometimes jabs into my cervix, momentarily killing the mood. This is okay – I’ve learned to avoid thrusting Ella too deeply – but it does give the toy a learning curve and a risk of pain that some may not like.

But overall, the silicone formulation is pretty awesome. I’ve used the Ella several times while on my period, with it ending up covered in reddish-brownish stains, and all of the blood washed right off with soap and hot water. No stains. No discoloration. Nada. Bravo, Lelo!

So while Ella certainly does the trick, and can add some decent G-spot pressure to my clitoral orgasms, I don’t think it has the power to make me come all by itself. I’ll keep trying, but I think I’ll have to wait until I get my hands on a Pure Wand before I’ll be able to fairly judge my own orgasmic capacity.

Ask Girly Juice: Dos and Don’ts of Lube

Kate Sloan

I volunteer regularly at a sex and relationships hotline. Many of the questions we get are repeats; a lot of people same to have the same worries and inquiries. One thing I’ve been asked on multiple occasions is, “Is it okay to use [insert substance here] as lube?” Since it’s perplexing that so many people don’t know what are and are not suitable lubricant choices, I decided to compile my knowledge on the subject here.

Lube and vaginas:

If you’re planning on having vaginal sex, avoid lubes which contain sugar and/or glycerin. These ingredients can cause nasty yeast infections because of the way they interact with the naturally occurring bacteria in a vagina. You can use flavored lube while going down on your lady, as long as you make sure that it’s free of sugar and glycerin.

This also means that you shouldn’t use chocolate, peanut butter, or any other sweet food or drink in your sexytimes if a vagina will be involved. I know it sounds sexy to dribble chocolate sauce all over your lover’s vulva and lick it off, but she won’t think it’s so sexy when she wakes up a couple days later with a raging case of the yeastie beasties.

It’s also not a great idea to use non-natural oils as lube for vaginal sex, because that kind of oil can trap bacteria in the vagina and cause infections as well. Lightweight, natural oils like coconut and grapeseed are fine, but stay away from heavier options like mineral oil/petroleum jelly. Many silicone-based lubes feel and behave like oil, so they might be a better option if you like that oily consistency.

Lube and condoms:

Condoms cannot be used with oil-based lubes (petroleum jelly, coconut oil, what have you) because oil causes the latex to disintegrate. It can be fun to watch this happen, but you know what’s not fun? Realizing that you might have been exposed to an STI or sperm because the condom dissolved.

Lube and anuses:

Many people prefer to choose a thicker, longer-lasting lube for their anal sex needs, because anuses don’t self-lubricate and so you’ll want something that can last the entire length of the sex act.

Make sure never to use “numbing” products that claim to make anal sex easier, because if you (or your partner) can’t feel the pain, you won’t know if and when you’re seriously injuring yourself.

Lube and toys:

If you’re not sure what material your sex toys are made of, now would be a good time to check. Some silicone toys are incompatible with some silicone-based lubes – the toy may become permanently sticky or tacky in the place where the lube touched it. If you’re not sure, do a spot test on the base of the toy and wait a few minutes to see if anything disastrous happens. In any case, water-based lube is probably a better choice for you if you use silicone toys a lot.

If a toy is made of glass, stainless steel, wood, or plastic, however, then have no fear – just about any kind of lube should work on these toy materials. But again, if ever in doubt, do a spot test.

My lube recommendations:

Water-based: Blossom Organics, a Canadian-made, female-oriented, aloe-heavy lube that’s very soothing and has a realistic texture.

Silicone-based: Pjur Bodyglide, a sexy, smooth lube that is my go-to choice for handjobs especially.

Oil-based: unrefined coconut oil, available at your local health food store. Can conveniently double as a moisturizer, hair conditioner, even deodorant.

If you have a sex-related question for me, please don’t hesitate to ask!

My Sexual Wishlist

Kate Sloan

We all have those things that we’re a little embarrassed to have on our Amazon wishlists, incase mom and dad have a peek to see what to get us for our birthday. Here are a few of mine.

1. Jimmyjane Form 2 – Despite the fact that this toy has some mechanical issues, it’s also supposedly very strong and effective – and it’s Jimmyjane, so it’s luxurious as fuck. I’ve wanted this one pretty much since I discovered it existed.

2. Jimmyjane Iconic Rabbit – I almost got this one when I was shopping for rabbits about a month ago, but then I read some reviews which said that the toy broke quickly and didn’t live up to expectations, so I bought a highly lauded Cal Exotics rabbit instead. Very much regretting my decision now. I mean, Jimmyjane’s toys come with a warranty, so if it broke, it could have been replaced. Hmm.

3. Lelo Siri – Is this the perfect clitoral stimulator to use during intercourse? Quite possibly. Every time I pick up this toy to examine it at a sex shop, I’m struck by just how small, portable, and adorable it is. And strong! I can so imagine this nestling between my body and my boyfriend’s while we go at it – and more importantly, I can imagine it actually getting me off in that situation, unlike a lot of distracting, weak toys I’ve tried.

4. Eroscillator – I think the wiring in my brain has been permanently shaped by all the time I spent listening to Sex Is Fun when I was 14. And part of that manifests as a pressing lust for the Eroscillator. It doesn’t vibrate, it oscillates – which means no nerve desensitization, which means I wouldn’t have to keep turning up the power constantly, and I wouldn’t have to worry about having subpar sex the next day. This toy is ugly as shit but I want it, dammit.

5. Impressions Love Paddle – I am, admittedly, one of those vanilla people who thinks she’s super awesome for occasionally venturing into mild BDSM territory. Whatever, man; I know I’m not the kinkiest person in the world, and I’m okay with that. But I bet I’d be even more okay with it if I had a gorgeous paddle like this, with which to get the word “LOVE” emblazoned onto my ass by my handsome lover.

6. Njoy Pure Wand – Many, many women have told stories of this being the first toy to allow them to squirt. Personally, I’m a bit mystified by the sight of it, but I’m sure that if I gave it a shot, I would succumb to its stainless steel charms.

7. Don Wands cobalt Bent Graduate – I am a fan of glass dildos. My first one was made of glass, and you always remember your first. This one looks like it would leave me panting and sweating… and it’s bright cobalt blue. Swoon.

8. Liberator Wedge – I always used to think that sex furniture was largely a waste of money, especially these Liberator shapes that look like you could achieve the same effect with a stack of pillows. But the thing is, I don’t always have a stack of pillows on hand, nor do I always want to take the 30+ seconds it takes to arrange pillows into a neat little pile that won’t topple when I lay my ass on it. I think the Wedge would be a great investment. Especially in this color. (Can you tell I love royal blue?)