When I told my friend Bex I was going to review an ejaculating rabbit vibrator, he said, “I’ve heard all of those words, but never quite expected to hear them together in that order.” My thoughts exactly.
This was, pretty universally, the reaction of everyone I told about the V for Vibes Bia ejaculating rabbit vibrator. Friends wondered, as I was wondering: Aren’t “ejaculating” toys usually realistic dildos, since most people who are into the fantasy of seeing dicks come are into, well… seeing dicks come? What is the overlap, if any, between people who want a rabbit vibe and people who want a squirting toy?
One of the first things I noticed about the Bia was that it’s adorable as hell. It’s a bright blue, silicone, rechargeable rabbit vibe with a simple silhouette and a diameter of about 1.35″. It looks like the rabbit of my dreams – but how does it feel?
Like many rabbits, this one has two separate motors – the inside one that presses on your G-spot, and the outside one that tickles your clit with its li’l rabbit ears. There are 12 different vibration patterns you can scroll through with one button; the patterns are pre-selected and pretty chaotic, and the motors can’t be controlled independently. (I think all dual-stimulation vibes should allow you to control their two functions independently of each other, but I’m a snob, so your mileage may vary.)
Both motors are, unfortunately, quite buzzy. They have enough power to feel impactful, but start to cause some numbness pretty soon after I put ’em on/in my bits. That said, this is a rabbit that lends itself unusually well to thrusting, which is especially important for buzzy vibes. I find that the slight desensitization caused by this toy can be combated by thrusting it in and out slightly, since the motion and rhythm make up for the loss of some sensation.
There are only a few rabbit vibes I’ve found I could thrust with, the We-Vibe Nova being one of them. The Bia achieves its thrustability by having a firm-yet-flexible clitoral portion that stays put reasonably well on top of my clit while I move the rest of the toy in and out. This is the way I come most easily with this toy. If you prefer to hold your rabbit vibes static, I would recommend a rumblier one instead, like the aforementioned Nova. I’d also recommend one that will press more firmly against your internal spots while staying still; the Bia’s curve is quite gentle, so I only really get G-spot pleasure from it while I’m thrusting, which is fine with me but won’t be everyone’s preference.
The handle of the Bia also aids in said thrusting. It’s surprisingly ergonomic, curved downward to allow for an easy, steady grip while you manipulate the toy. As someone whose hands often hurt, I appreciate this feature!
But what about the ejaculation?! Well, you should know upfront that it doesn’t look how a flesh-and-blood cock looks when it comes. There is no rhythmic spurting, no Olympian long-distance spraying – so it’s probably not what you need if you’re interested in this toy for exhibitionistic or porn-making purposes. But I like it anyway.
You load the toy’s “cum chamber” by twisting off its base and pouring a liquid of your choice into the receptacle. Theoretically, you could use any liquid that’s thin enough to be squirted out of the toy (think hand-soap consistency or runnier), but my personal fave for this purpose is FuckWater’s hybrid lube. It’s mainly water-based, so it’s safe to use with a silicone toy, but contains just enough silicone lube to give it a slipperier feel and a more cum-like appearance. You don’t need to fill the entire chamber with lube in order for the squirting to work – and in fact, you shouldn’t, unless you know you’re gonna use a fuckton of lube, because you’ll just have to clean the excess out of the toy when you’re done, effectively wasting any you haven’t used.
The actual “ejaculation” happens when you press and hold the “raindrop” button on the toy. The way it works reminds me of one of those mechanized soap dispensers; it whirrs loudly, and slowly dispenses lube through its cum-hole for the duration of however long you press the button. Rather than looking like an actual ejaculation, it’s more like when someone has already come but their dick still drips a little residual semen afterward. Personally, I found the look of it hotter than I expected to, although the loud mechanical whirring kind of dampens the magic. So does the fact that you have to dissemble and rinse out the toy after every use and let it dry fully before reassembling it.
Besides the hotness factor, this squirting feature is potentially useful as a lube dispensation tactic. Should you notice that you’re drying out a bit while you’re using the toy, you can hold down the squirt button to pump a bit more lube into your body without needing to go through the whole rigamarole of removing the toy, re-lubing, and re-inserting. It’s pretty cool, and not something I’ve been able to do with any other toy before.
I wish the Bia rabbit vibrator had a far rumblier vibration quality and that its two motors could be controlled separately of one another, both features I think are reasonable to expect of a $100 vibrator. I also wish it was quieter and had more of a G-spot curve. But the squirting function is inventive and fun, the aesthetic of the toy is delightful, and I have had orgasms while thrusting it quickly in and out of me. When I first started using it, I didn’t understand why anyone would want a squirting rabbit vibe – but now, having used it a handful of times, I think I finally get it.
This post was sponsored, meaning that I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.
Of the three functions, the vibration is the least interesting to me, both because I already own a zillion vibrators and because these particular vibrations are pretty buzzy. But the other two functions, especially when used in tandem, are tantalizing. The light clitoral suction produced by pressure-wave technology is a very “treble-y” sensation, high-pitched and pinpointed sometimes to the point of being cloying, but here it is tempered by the comparative “bassiness” of that rumbling G-spot stimulator. The thrumming slows down quite a bit when inserted vaginally, as the motor works hard to fight against my restrictive flesh, but I can definitely still register it. When I use both functions in concert, both these crucial buttons get pushed so directly that a “whoa, I’m gonna come!” feeling creeps up faster than expected. I don’t even need to turn the vibrations on, and they’re so buzzy that I usually don’t.
I also noticed that I have a tendency to accidentally bump buttons when I try to thrust with this toy, because of where the control panel is placed. But I think it’s not really meant to be thrusted, so maybe this wouldn’t bother most users.
At first, I wasn’t sure which side of the vibe was meant to be inserted, but the instructions noted that the bigger side – the devil’s head – is the side that contains the motion sensor for the toy’s Kegel functionalities, so that’s the one that should be inserted. There are two “devil’s horns” on that side that are a little uncomfortable upon insertion, but once inside, I don’t find them especially noticeable. The smaller, external arm has some ridges on it that don’t do much for me in terms of stimulation, but seem to help the toy stay anchored in place better, even when I’m not wearing underwear.
While the toy can be controlled without the use of its app, I wouldn’t recommend using it that way. There’s only one button on the toy, and it can be used to cycle through various patterns and speeds, but it’s an annoying process and using the app is much easier and more intuitive. The app (which is available for both iOS and Android) offers multiple different ways of controlling the toy’s vibrations, including a “motion control” mode that makes the vibrations flare up when you shake your phone, a “touch mode” that responds to your fingers swiping/tapping your phone screen, and a series of fixed modes. You can also design custom vibration patterns and download patterns that other users have made.
The flagship feature of Monster Pub vibes, however, is their Kegel exercise system. The toy contains a sensor that can detect how much pressure your pelvic muscles exert on it, so when you load up a Kegel regimen on the app, you can see in real-time how strong your muscles are. The app leads you through a workout involving timed intervals of squeezing and releasing, complete with reminders to inhale and exhale – it’s actually kind of 
The Craybit rabbit comes in an elegant black cardboard gift box with the company logo lettered on it in silver script. Inside is a charging cable for this USB-rechargeable toy, and an instruction booklet which details the vibe’s 15 (!) modes. These are pretty unique as far as vibrator patterns go, because the Craybit is juggling three motors at once. Some of the modes are more basic – all three motors on a steady speed, or all three thumping in synchrony – but some are more complex: the clit vibe can thrum in hills and valleys while the internal motors pulse erratically, for example, or each motor can throb in turn, like they’re 
The clit stimulator is one of those classic two-pronged “bunny ears” situations. I actually like this one better than most others of its type, because the ears are made of solid, substantial silicone so they don’t flap around as much as these usually do, and it’s easier to get them to stay put on my clit. However, I know that’ll make it less appealing for people who find the flapping-around pleasurable.
