The Hole Punch Fluke is one of my all-time favorite sex toys. In fact, if you told me I was being banished to a desert island and could only take 5 toys with me (you sadistic monster!), here’s what I’d bring, assuming said island had power outlets…
The Magic Wand Rechargeable, for pleasuring all kinds of genitals and massaging sore muscles (actually, maybe the Waterproof would be better for the desert island lifestyle…).
The Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble, because if I have to be marooned at sea then I might as well be able to fuck the shit out of my A-spot and come really hard.
The Njoy Pure Wand, because it’s a G-spot whisperer and reliably induces squirting, which would make it useful for tension relief while I’m stressed out of my mind, foraging to survive on an island. (Am I taking this question too literally?!)
…and finally, the almighty Hole Punch Fluke. Nothing else in my collection is quite like it.
I noticed recently that the Fluke is on clearance sale at SheVibe, currently marked down from $67 to $54 – so it felt like a good time to tell you about some of the many ways you can use this wonderful toy, since I want to tempt as many people as possible to add one to their collection! It really is that good. This deal won’t last, so I highly suggest picking one up while you can! Here are some things you can do with it…
1. Wear it vaginally during masturbation. I often joke that the Fluke is a great toy for lazy masturbators, which is true – once inserted, it presses firmly against my G-spot with zero effort on my part, so there’s no need to bother with thrusting. That being said, laziness isn’t the only reason someone might want a toy like this – folks with disabilities or chronic pain, like myself, might also find the Fluke useful. On a bad flare-up day, I hate having to decide between honoring my body’s limits and stroking the fuck outta my G-spot – and with the Fluke, I don’t have to choose. It significantly intensifies my solo orgasms without me having to do much of anything.
2. Wear it anally during masturbation. Yep, you can do that too! I don’t use my Fluke anally because its 2″ diameter exceeds my current anal ambitions, but its flared head is so perf for G-spot stimulation that I have to assume it’d hit the prostate equally well – or, less directly, the G-spot through the vaginal wall.
3. Wear it while receiving oral sex. Quite possibly my favorite usage! Coordinating oral sex with fingerbanging can be tricky for even the deftest casanovas, but when the Fluke is inserted, it handles the internal stimulation so my partner can focus fully on external stimulation. This makes it a lot easier for me to reach orgasm from oral, which can otherwise be elusive for me – and the orgasms are extra intense because the Fluke presses so firmly against my G-spot. Once in a while, it even makes me squirt, hands-free!
4. Wear it for a while as warm-up. Sometimes my partner will have me insert a plug like the Fluke, either vaginally or anally, an hour or so before sex. It’s not the most comfortable choice for long-term wear, so I wouldn’t recommend it for public play, especially if you’ll be walking around – but it can be fun to slip it in before watching some porn together or somesuch, and it may help relax your hole enough to make any subsequent penetration easier/comfier.
5. Wear it during a spanking or other sadomasochistic scene. Due to subspace and other factors, I’m not always consciously aware of how turned on I’m getting during a spanking unless someone points it out to me – and similarly, the Fluke’s presence makes me achingly aware of each time my cunt clenches in arousal, which helps build more arousal, like a horny feedback loop. Plus it probably looks hot from my partner’s perspective…
6. Wear it as part of a chastity or denial roleplay. While this isn’t necessarily my jam (at least not as a bottom/sub), I can see how it could be fun to use the Fluke as a sort of barricade to your vag or butt – preventing you from getting fucked there and/or denying someone else the ability to fuck you there. The toy itself is still plenty stimulating though, as we’ve discussed, so it’s not like you’re being denied that much – it’s more about the psychological experience of it. Actually, I bet some people could even come hands-free just from squeezing around the Fluke, if they really put their mind to it!
Well, I know what toy I’ll be using tonight… If I’ve piqued your interest, here’s the link to go get a Fluke of your own at a deliciously discounted price! I’ve recommended this fantastic toy to countless people over the years, and that’s no fluke. 😉
Yes, it’s that time again: time for me to sift through the dozens of sex toys I’ve been sent to review this year, and pick out my very favorites to highlight here.
I always have to make a lot of tricky decisions when putting this list together, and this year was no exception. But I think the 9 toys I settled on are genuinely great. Every single one of them is the kind of thing I’d recommend to a friend, the kind of thing I’ve kept in my rotation even after finishing my review. They’re that good.
Let’s start at the bottom of the list and work our way up…
I was assigned to review this for MEL Magazine and was excited to try out a new-to-me style of gag. I like ballgags well enough, but jaw pain often sets in after a few minutes of wearing one, so I don’t use them as often as I otherwise might, despite both my partner and I finding them hot.
The Bit gag by Unbound surpassed my expectations. Its main component is a silicone bar that you bite onto, and it’s comfortable on both my jaw and my teeth. I find it easier to breathe while using the Bit than while using traditional ballgags, too. I love the aesthetic of the blue velvet ribbon strap, which can be temporarily removed for easier cleaning. This is just a really thoughtfully-designed product and one that I’m glad to have in my collection.
It’s hard to make a wand vibe that’ll impress me. I reach for my Doxy Die Cast if I want a gorgeous wand that looks good in pictures, and my Magic Wand Rechargeable if I want a wand that feels good and gets me off; it’s rare that I use others.
But Dame sent me their Com wand and I love it. It’s got a curvy handle that feels more ergonomic for my achy hands, and has a genuinely wonderful, rumbly motor. My one major complaint about it is that the wand’s body shakes quite a bit when the toy is in use, which can get a bit uncomfortable for my hands – but it can make me come pretty reliably and sometimes pretty fast, so I’m willing to accept this fly in the ointment. Well done, Dame!
I will never be a gun nut, I’m not into (most) fantasies of peril or threat, and I find guns chilling to be around – and yet, I wanted this gun-shaped dildo from the moment I first saw it, years ago.
Colin, the artisan behind Hole Punch Toys, is a true artist (which, for him, extends beyond the realm of sex toys and into more traditional artistic mediums as well). There was a social media outcry when this toy was launched because people were angry about the mere depiction of a gun, as if depicting something is the same thing as condoning it, revering it. I actually think there’s something quite striking, on an erotic level and an artistic one, about the idea of taking a terrifying object – especially now, in the age of multiple mass shootings per week – and sliding it inside you. Whether that’s a feeling you want is up to you, but I think it’s absurd to decry an artist for making art about a poignant social issue in whatever medium they prefer, and Colin happens to be brilliant at making sex toys.
Anyway, I was lucky enough to finally get my hands on an Evolver this year because my very generous partner bought one for me, and it is truly stunning. It feels weighty and a bit scary in my hand, or when pointed at me – perfect for fear play scenes – and feels pretty good inside me too. And it’s certainly a conversation-starter!
I’ve been super impressed with every toy I’ve tried from Lovense, particularly with the reliability of their Bluetooth connectivity, which makes them highly valuable to me in my kinky long-distance marriage, whether we’re far apart or spending time physically together.
The Ferri is Lovense’s take on a panty vibe. I was frustrated with my previous panty vibe, the We-Vibe Moxie, because it would often lose connection mid-scene even when my partner was controlling it from right beside me. The Ferri has no such issues that I’ve encountered, and has (as Lovense toys generally do) a fabulously strong and rumbly motor. I still don’t think I could ever have an orgasm in a public-play scene, because I’m just too anxious for that and require too much concentration to get off, but it makes for an intriguing tease and feels better than any other panty vibe I’ve tried.
Pretty sure my partner heard about this one before I did, which is rare, since I’m the one who receives all the sex toy press releases in my inbox every day!
Two German brothers created this sex toy for penises, which consists of an actual, literal power tool – an “oscillating multi-tool,” to be exact – attached to a rubber loop that can be adjusted to fit loosely around a penis. The vibrations this toy produces are like none I’ve ever encountered: they are WILDLY strong (not to mention shockingly loud), which makes the Slubb an especially good addition to kinky play involving D/s, forced orgasms, overstimulation, etc.
I’ve even managed to successfully use the Slubb on my partner through their chastity cage a few times, which is super fun. Basically this is the penis-specific version of mega-strong wands like the Doxy Die Cast, and while it’s certainly not the kind of toy I’d use on a daily or even weekly basis, I’m glad we have it in our collection for those times when it’s exactly what we want.
The way that I rank toys in this list is by methodically looking at each item and thinking, “Do I like this better than the toy above it?” and moving it up a slot if so. I shuffle things around like this until I arrive at a list that feels true. I’m explaining this because I was surprised that the WaterSlyde ended up so high on this list, given what a simple invention it is, and yet it definitely deserves this #4 spot for how much pleasure and delight it’s given me.
This is literally just a piece of plastic (albeit a specially-shaped piece of plastic) that you can affix to your bath faucet with a provided ribbon, so as to divert the flow of water onto your clit (or, really, onto any body part you can comfortably position beneath its spout). I found it nostalgic to return to the masturbation method that had given me my very first orgasms back when I was a kid, and was impressed by the thoughtfulness that evidently went into this product’s design. If you love getting off in the tub, you probably need a WaterSlyde.
This one, the Exomoon, is unusually simple for Lovense: it’s a lipstick vibe, i.e. a bullet vibrator made to look vaguely like a tube of lipstick. This makes it somewhat discreet, and super easy to toss into a bag or suitcase for sexy travels, particularly since it has an actual lipstick-style “cap” which protects the tip of the vibe from dust and debris when it’s on.
I don’t tend to use this one with Lovense’s legendarily good Bluetooth functionality because I prefer to take control of my own handheld clitoral vibes for the most part – but its motor, shape, and design are so good that it’s earned a coveted spot in my top drawer and is often the vibe I bring with me when staying away from home overnight. Kudos, Lovense, on another well-engineered product.
I love when sex toy companies create genuine innovations, rather than just rehashing the same type of toy over and over again, and the SnailVibe is certainly innovative. It’s a dual-stimulation vibe that uses a unique spiraling motion to ensure that the clitoral arm stays in contact with your clit even as you thrust the toy in and out.
The insertable shaft of the toy is long and straight, so it’s better suited for A-spot aficionados than G-spot devotees. And you will go through a lot of lube when using this toy. But it’s one of my absolute faves of the year because it feels great, looks amusingly weird, and does something I’ve never seen another toy do in all my years as a sex toy critic.
Another dual-stimulation toy?! This is almost unheard of, because it’s really, really hard to get a dual-stim toy right. There are so many variables: motor, controls, arm placement, arm functions, ergonomics, thrustability, and so on. But the Unbound Clutch is absolutely worthy of my top spot (wink wink).
The internal arm thrusts in and out slightly, similar to the Stronic toys but even more pronounced in its purposeful jiggling. The clitoral arm is flexible, well-shaped for a broad range of clits, and has a thrillingly rumbly motor. The handle is easy to hold onto, even on days when I’m experiencing a lot of hand pain. All of these components come together to create a toy that can get me off easily, consistently, and intensely – and the whole journey toward that orgasm feels wonderful and unique as well. Congrats to Unbound for making such a terrific product!
Oh yeah, and here’s one more toy – a (dis)honorable mention, if you will:
I was originally going to choose this as my #1 favorite sex toy of the entire year (!!), but then literally as I was drafting this post, news broke that sex toy company Lora DiCarlo has “quietly ended operations” and has apparently been ghosting their distributors and neglecting to send out customer orders from months ago. Needless to say, this is incredibly unprofessional and not okay!
It’s not as if this is the first time this company has fucked up, either. As Lux Alptraum has reported, the company’s titular founder has repeatedly lied about (or at least misrepresented) the “microrobotic” technology used in their toys, the company’s connections to a prestigious university tech lab, and even her own educational and professional history. Weird stuff.
It’s a pity, because the Baci was probably my most-used toy of any that I received for review purposes this year. Its unique “thrum pad” sets it apart from other pressure-wave toys by providing some extra stimulation to the clitoral shaft and internal clit while the toy’s “mouth” is attending to the tip of the clit. It would have felt odd not to mention it. But I really hope the company fulfills or refunds all remaining orders from customers and distributors; it would be sad (not to mention unfair) if they just disappeared in a puff of proverbial smoke.
There have been scammers in the sex toy industry before and there are lots more to come, I’m sure. All we can really do is enjoy the good toys while they’re around, warn people away from the bad ones, point out companies’ problematic behavior when it happens, and do our best to live lives that are both aligned with our values and as pleasurable as they can be.
Anyway… What were your favorite sex toys this year?
One of the hazards of being a professional sex toy reviewer is that sometimes I’m so busy reviewing toys I have to review that I neglect to review the toys I actually bought with my own money. But quite often, they are excellent and deserve to be written about!
My friend Epiphora mentioned the Fluke by Hole Punch Toys in a recent blog post of hers, and it made me realize that I’ve never reviewed this toy on my blog, despite it possibly being one of my top-10 favorite toys of all time. So let’s rectify that, shall we?!
What is the Fluke?
The Hole Punch Fluke is a silicone plug that can be used either vaginally or anally. Like most plugs, it is designed to stay put once you insert it, comfortably, without requiring much (if any) readjustment. I personally have never used it anally because it’s a bit too large for my butt – its diameter is a hefty 2″ at the widest point – but I love it for vaginal use, as I’ll explain in more detail below.
That’s pretty much it. It doesn’t vibrate or do anything fancy, and it doesn’t need to; it’s just an exceptionally well-designed plug that fulfills a purpose in my sex toy collection that no other toy really does.
What makes this toy so great?
First and foremost, the Fluke is simply the best toy I’ve ever found for passive G-spot stimulation, by which I mean, G-spot stimulation that requires zero ongoing effort on my part. Because of its girth, its exaggerated coronal ridge, and the firmness of its silicone, it exerts pressure constantly against my G-spot while it’s inside me. This makes it excellent for lazy masturbators (i.e. me) as well as for people who have chronic pain or strength issues that make it difficult for them to thrust a dildo in and out (also me).
Because of how it passively provides stimulation, the Fluke pairs brilliantly with anything and everything that would benefit from added G-spot (or prostate) stimulation: clitoral or penile pleasure, making out, grinding/dry-humping, spanking, public play, forced orgasm play, performing or receiving oral sex, watching porn/reading erotica, and so on.
It makes my orgasms extra intense, because of its girth, firmness, and ability to target my G-spot so directly. I most often use this toy during phone-sex scenes that are focused predominantly on me receiving oral sex; I find that orgasms from clitoral stimulation alone are not always the most satisfying for me, but having a thick piece of G-spot-focused silicone inside me makes them much more intense.
Amazingly enough, I have found that the Fluke can make me squirt without me having to actually do anything. It is one of the only toys in existence that can do that, because of the intensity of G-spot stimulation that’s generally needed to produce squirting. Wow.
The Fluke is available in a few different colors, all gorgeous ombrés. Mine is a stunning teal/blue and it also comes in orange/yellow and pink/purple. I deeply appreciate sex toy companies that offer fun colorways, especially since it makes their toys potentially more accessible to folks who experience gender dysphoria.
Hole Punch Toys is owned and operated by an awesome human named Colin who makes unique, artisanal sex toys out of his art studio in Saint Paul, Minnesota. I really admire the boldness and artistry of his work, and hope to someday own the terrifying-yet-sexy gun dildo he makes! (Content note: it’s literally a dildo that looks like a gun.)
Does this toy have any flaws?
I think the girth of this toy is likeliest to cause issues for users if anything will. As I mentioned before, it has a 2″ diameter at its widest point, which is significantly larger than most penises and “beginner-friendly” dildos. I find it comfortable if I’m already plenty aroused when I insert it, and if I use lots of water-based lube, but if your orifice prefers petite penetration, this probably isn’t the toy for you.
The silicone is a little draggy so you do need a lot of lube.
I literally cannot think of anything else that I dislike about this toy. It is that good.
Final thoughts
The Hole Punch Fluke is my go-to toy when I want to feel filled up, and have my G-spot stimulated, with minimal effort. I have not found any other toy that does what it does quite so effectively. It also happens to be so cute and beautiful that even just seeing it on my nightstand improves my mood.
Supporting indie toymakers is a cause close to my heart – some others I love are Funkit Toys and Weal & Breech, FYI – and so I’m thrilled to be able to introduce my readers to this glorious toy!
This post was not sponsored, but I do get a little kickback (at no extra cost to you) when you buy through my affiliate links. As always, all opinions stated here are my genuine opinions.
April is always one of my favorite months of the year: the weather gets warmer, school ends, and I get to celebrate my birthday! Here’s some of what made me happy this April…
Sex toys
• When me and Bex get together, spanking inevitably happens. We’re both big fans of impact play – they like to receive, and I like both giving and receiving – so of course, we also share an appreciation for paddles, floggers, crops, whips, canes, and all manner of other impact play toys. In our big road trip across the midwest (more on that later), I bought a purple suede flogger at the Pleasure Chest in New York, a stone crop at Leather & Latte in Minneapolis, and a pervertable paddle-ball at a toy store in Cleveland. So many fun new things for people to hit me with!
• As you might have noticed, I am fond of blowjobs. Normally this doesn’t figure into my masturbation too much, but admittedly, a few of my orgasms this month were intensified by the presence of a Tantus Uncut #1 in my mouth. I like that it’s girthy but not jaw-achingly so, and that the texture of the silicone can feel amazingly real when it’s warm. Hnnnnggg.
• I had the opportunity to visit the Hole Punch Toys studio with some friends this month. It’s located in Minnesota, the homeland of Prince, who had just passed away – so Colin (the brains and brawn behind Hole Punch) had made us special commemorative Prince-themed butt plugs. (!!) They are purple and glittery, and they came in a cardboard storage tube emblazoned with the Prince symbol. So, so, so wonderful and unique.
Fantasy fodder
• I’ve been aching to do service-based submission lately. I want to bring some charming domly person their coffee made exactly the way they like it, help them schedule and fulfill their appointments, and give them a massage at the end of a long day. And then, you know, maybe suck their dick to relieve their stress. Like ya do.
• I’m going to write about this in more detail eventually, but: I recently went out for coffee with someone I’ve looked up to and had a crush on for LITERALLY TWELVE YEARS, and he kissed me. It was the kind of kiss that makes you all tingly and sends out residual ripples in your life. I don’t normally fantasize sexually about kisses – they’re usually so innocuous, or so much just a prelude to more explicit things – but damn, it was a good kiss. And it meant a lot to me.
• A recent hookup made me realize how little I fantasize about penis-in-vagina sex these days. It still feels good and I enjoy it, but I don’t get off on it psychologically the way that I sometimes have in the past. My fantasies nowadays are more focused on kink stuff and what Bex calls “queer sex”: sex involving primarily hands, mouths, and toys.
Sexcetera
• Late in the month, Bex, Taylor, Caitlin and I embarked on a weeklong trip across the northern U.S. We called our journey #HaveDildosWillTravel. I flew to New York on the 21st, we attended AltSex on the 22nd, and then we spent the next two days driving through Pennsylvania, Illinois, Wisconsin, and Minnesota. We stayed in Minneapolis for a few days before turning around and driving all the way back to Toronto. It was a raucous trip full of sex-positive sightseeing, best-friend bonding, and bad jokes. I feel so grateful to have excellent friends whose idea of a good time is in line with mine.
• Speaking of great friends… Early in the month, my closest pals finally convinced me that my burgeoning-but-floundering relationship needed to end. I broke up with my boyfriend and it was the least emotionally affecting breakup of my life, because the relationship had been doomed from the start. It made me realize that I don’t actually want or need to be in a romantic relationship right now, though I’d previously ached for one. Weeks later, on our road trip, I had my first-ever one-night stand, which further drove home the point that maybe fun and feelings-free sex is what I need at the moment.
• School ended for me this month, and my last project – the only thing standing between me and my journalism degree – was an audio series about kink and mental health. I spent most of March and April doing research, conducting interviews, and editing audio. (I’ll let you know where you can listen to it when it becomes available!) As such, a lot of my thinkiest thoughts lately have been about the power of kink in psychological coping and healing. Working on this project felt very “meta” because kinky encouragement helped me get through it: dom-y people in my life instructed me to work hard and gave me verbal and tangible rewards when I did, which kept me on-task during my psychologically tumultuous final stretch before the deadline. I’m proud to say I completed the project and got a great grade on it!
Femme stuff
• I turned 24 while we were on the road, and Bex bought me a gift so sweet and thoughtful that I burst into tears when I opened it: an Aslan Leather collar. I’ve stayed up many a late night staring at leather collars online this year, desperately wanting one for both kink reasons and femme reasons, and this one in particular really spoke to me. I originally thought it might be weird for me to buy myself a collar, given that I don’t currently have a dominant partner to “own” me – but then I became increasingly drawn to the idea of “owning” myself, of being my own dom. Bex giving me my dream collar felt like an acknowledgment from my best friend that I don’t need to wait for that perfect dominant partner to come along; I am a whole person now, capable of taking care of myself and being badass on my own, even though sometimes I feel submissive and small. ♥ ♥ ♥ (Plus, let’s face it: this collar is fucking gorgeous and fits my aesthetic perfectly.)
• I felt a lot of love for my Frye harness boots during our road trip. I’ve stomped all over Canada and the U.S.A. in them, and they’re hardy enough to handle it. I love how they add a little toughness to otherwise-girly looks; there is something so satisfying about pairing a flippy floral dress with chunky black leather boots.
• When I visit the States, I always like to check out the makeup selection in drugstores, because it’s a bit different from what we can get in Canada. I picked up a NYX liquid eyeliner in the shade “Crystal Pink,” and it is so deliciously on-brand for me. Intense pink glitter! Yessss!
What got your rocks off and your gears spinning this month, my loves?
7. 
Lora DiCarlo Baci (
