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Review: BeYourLover Fatima multi-functional detachable toy

Kate Sloan
Please forgive me for all the dust/lint in these photos, I didn’t feel like spending a springtime afternoon hunched over Photoshop šŸ˜‚

I’ve never seen a toy like the BeYourLover Fatima before. And I’ve been in this business for 13 years (as of last week, in fact!), so that’sĀ really saying something.

In fact, this toy breaks the mold so completely that I need to change up my usual review format, too. This is aĀ multi-functional, detachable toy ā€“ it’s practically the Swiss army knife of sex toys! ā€“ so I’m going to write about each component of the toy individually, and then about how they all come together in a synergistic symphony. Let’s dive in…

 

One toy, two parts

Picture, if you will, a standard rabbit vibrator ā€“ except that the clitoral arm can beĀ detached from the internal arm, so that each component can be used separately if you so desire. That’s the BeYourLover Fatima.

In this case, the clitoral portion of the toy uses pressure-wave technology (Ć  la Womanizer/Satisfyer/Rose toys) rather than vibration. The internal/vaginal part of the toy (which is not anal-safe, FYI) vibrates and also thrusts. (That’s just an overview; more details to come in the sections below.)

Pros of the toy being made up of two detachable parts:

  • When you’re in the mood to, you can use either part of the toy on its own without needing to involve the other one. This is great if, for instance, you like to warm up with some clit stimulation before jumping straight to penetration.
  • That being said, although you can use the toy’s components separately, they are wirelessly connected to one another via Bluetooth, so the clitoral arm can essentially act as a remote control for the internal arm, which makes the toy overall easier to use.
  • Unlike most other dual-stimulation vibrators, this one will fit just about every vulva, regardless of the distance between clit and vaginal opening, because you can always detach the halves from each other.

Cons:

  • The way that the toy’s two parts can be ‘attached’ isn’t particularly secure; I don’t think there’s a magnet or anything else holding it in place, you just kinda jam the clitoral arm into its appointed hole as far as it’ll go and then hope it’ll stay. As you’d expect, it therefore dislodges a fair bit during use, especially when using the toy’s thrusting function ā€“ so I mostly ended up holding the clitoral portion in one hand, detached totally from the vaginal arm, which stayed inside me.
  • Naturally, when you’re holding the clitoral arm of the toy in one hand, you lose the ability to use the toy (as a whole) hands-free or one-handed, which sorta defeats the purpose of using a dual-stim toy in the first place.
  • Somewhat egregiously, you have to recharge each part of the toy on its own, as if they were two separate toys. I wish both could be charged at the same time while attached to one another instead.
  • When you turn off one component of the toy, the other component turns off too. You can turn it right back on again if you want to use it on its own, but it’s annoying that this happens at all.

Clit-warming technology

Quick-press the button featuring a thermometer icon on the toy’s clitoral arm and you’ll activate its self-heating function. Supposedly this heats up both the clitoral part and the internal part of the BeYourLover Fatima, although that wasn’t my experience.

Pros:

  • The clitoral heating function works quickly and pretty damn well. It never got too hot for my comfort (supposedly it reaches about 42Ā° Celsius), but felt warm enough to pair well with oral sex fantasies. It was a relaxing sensation, too, like my clit was at a spa!
  • The heating button flashes to let you know when the function is activated, and you can turn it off whenever you reach your desired heat level.

Cons:

  • I wasn’t able to get the vaginal arm to heat up, although it’s supposed to. Only the clitoral heating function worked for me.
  • There doesn’t seem to be an auto-shutoff for the heating function, so theoretically it could overheat if you leave it on for too long, although I didn’t experience that in my testing.

 

Thrusting is a must

The internal arm of the BeYourLover Fatima has a self-thrusting function. It’s only the tip of the toy (2 inches or so) that actually thrusts. There are 2 steady thrusting functions, followed by 5 patterns which are more irregular.

Pros:

  • This thrusting function is unusually quiet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely still audible, but it’s not gratingly loud and mechanical-sounding like many other thrusters.
  • The thrusting feels good and adds to my pleasure, albeit not quite as intensely as I was hoping, for reasons I’ll describe below.

Cons:

  • Two steady speeds isĀ really not enough, especially since the first one is alreadyĀ quite fast. My kingdom for even just one slower speed, so I don’t feel like I’mĀ starting a session with jackhammer-esque speedy pounding. (I’d get back on Tinder if that’s what I wanted!) After the two speeds is a handful of patterns, most of which have too much space between thrusts to be useful as anything more than a frustrating tease.
  • If you try to control the thrusting via the button on the vaginal arm (rather than via the button on the clitoral arm), you have to double-click it every time you want to turn the thrusting function onĀ or change to a different thrusting mode. I kept accidentally either single-clicking it (which engaged vibration instead) or long-pressing it (which turns the entire toy off).
  • I thought this toy was gonna hit my A-spot, but I think its shape and length aren’t quite right for that; it always feels like it’sĀ almost hitting the spot but not quite. Your mileage may vary, since your vag may vary!
  • As with many self-thrusting toys, this one tends to slip out of your vag gradually over time, so you gotta either hold it in place by hand or anchor it there with a pillow or similar between your legs.

…Oh yeah, and it vibrates

The internal arm, that is. I don’t really care about vaginal vibration that much ā€“ my internal erogenous zones prefer motion and pressure over vibration ā€“ but some people dig it.

Pros:

  • There are 3 steady speeds, which is better than 2. That’s probably the most generous thing I could say here. (There’s also 5 vibration patterns, and as established, I don’t tend to like patterns much.)

Cons:

  • My biggest problem with the BeYourLover Fatima as a whole: If you want to use the thrusting functionĀ and the clit-stimulating function at the same time, then you will be forced to also use the vibrating function. There is no way to turn it off, so far as I can tell, without also turning off one or both of the other functions. This is battery-inefficient for those of us who’d rather just feel the thrusting + clit stim, and is particularly frustrating because of my next point:
  • These buzzyish vibrations drown out the subtleties of most other sensations, including the Fatima’s thrusting and especially its delicate pressure-wave clit stim. When I turn up the intensity of the clit portion in hopes of being able to feel it, it turns up the internal vibration too, drowning out the clit stim even more. This is ultimately why the Fatima can’t get me off.
  • The button that controls the toy’s vaginal arm is placed on the very tip of its handle, so I frequently bump it by accident when trying to push the toy deeper, resulting in an unexpected setting change, or sometimes in the toy shutting off altogether. Needless to say, this is irritating and distracting.

 

This thing sucks… your clit

As mentioned, the detachable clitoral arm of the BeYourLover Fatima uses pressure-wave technology, stimulating your clit with rhythmic air-waves. It has 7 modes.

Pros:

  • These pressure waves feel really good! They have a low-pitched ‘rumbliness’ to them that I find much more satisfying than many other air-pulse toys at this price point, which stimulates my clitoral network in super enjoyable ways.
  • The ‘mouth’ of the toy is well-shaped and well-sized, for my clit at least, with a diameter of about 1″. It creates a soft, comfortable seal around my clit when properly lubed, and stimulates more of the clitoral shaft rather than just the tip.
  • All 7 of this clit stimulator’s settings are steady speeds ā€“ no patterns to be found here. Hurrah! The gradation from speed to speed is gentle, not jarring.
  • The buttons on the clit stimulator also control the toy’s vaginal arm, if it’s turned on. This is a much easier and more convenient way of cycling through thrusting speeds or vibration speeds without having to move your hand. The buttons are also easy to locate by feel.
  • I like the ergonomic S-shape of this clit stimulator; it’s easy to hold onto and move around as needed. It’s sort of like a sperm-shaped little Satisfyer Penguin.

Cons:

  • Whenever I tried to use the Fatima with its two parts attached to each other, it didn’t maintain suction on my clit very well, because the thrusting action often caused the seal to dislodge. This is a pretty crucial flaw in the toy’s execution. As stated, I tended to use the two components detached from one another instead, for this reason among others.

More than the sum of its parts?

Man, IĀ love when sex toy companies take a big swing, innovation-wise. I’ve never seen another sex toy company attempt anything quite like what BeYourLover has done with the Fatima. But did their gamble pay off?

Overall pros:

  • It is genuinely cool to have a toy that does so many things, and even does some of them well! With all the different configurations in which you could use this toy, it’s like having a few different toys in your arsenal for the price of one. That price, by the way, is currently $69.99, which I think is fair for what you get: a self-heating pressure-wave clit stimulator that acts as a remote control for a vibrating vaginal thruster.
  • The clitoral stimulation the Fatima offers is delightfully rumbly and pleasurable, with a nice variety of 7 speeds to choose from.
  • Being able to use one toy as a remote control for the other is really clever, and makes it so that using this toy feels like an integrated experience even when the parts are detached from one another.
  • It’s IPX7 waterproof! Yay!

Overall cons:

  • The toy’s vibration, which cannot be disengaged while other functions are engaged, drowns out a lot of the pleasure that those functions could otherwise provide. As a result, I was only able to get off with the Fatima if I either used the clit stimulator by itself (so I could actually feel it), or used the thrusting function by itself while using a different vibe on my clit.
  • It makes sense that this toy has a battery life of only about an hour, given its numerous power-hungry functions ā€“ but that’s aggravatingly short nonetheless, and one wonders if the toy would have a better battery life if its vibration function was separable from its other functions. It’s also annoying and inconvenient that each component of the toy has to be recharged separately.
  • The way the toy’s two components attach just isn’t secure enough, which results in mishaps like the clit stimulator losing suction or falling off altogether.

The Fatima is a thrillingly unique toy, and I’m sure it’ll make some folks very happy. But as for me, it mostly made me happy insofar as it’s a fascinatingly inventive design that could be an indicator of where sex toy technology is headed. šŸ‘€

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

How I Fell in Love With Cock & Ball Torture šŸ˜ˆ šŸ’œ

Kate Sloan

Helen: You can’t possibly know how you’ll respond to something until you try it.

Jessica: I happen to disagree. I happen to think, if you know yourself well, you can gauge how you’re going to react to something…

Helen:Ā You know how you’ll react to everything?

Jessica: Pretty much, yes.

[Helen suddenly kisses her; Jessica falls silent, shocked]

Helen: I guess you’re right. You seem to know yourself pretty well.

This dialogue from the movieĀ Kissing Jessica Stein sums up exactly why it took me so long to realize I liked doing cock & ball torture (a.k.a. CBT, not to be confused with cognitive-behavioral therapy). I thought I knew myself well enough to already know, more-or-less, which kinks could appeal to me and which simply couldn’t. But I was wrong about that.

 

My first CBT experience

My first few penis’ed partners had no interest in genital torture ā€“ and to be fair, neither did I ā€“ so it wasn’t until my mid-twenties that I encountered someone who wanted me to hurt his dick.

He brought it up during a late-night handjob. We hadn’t been dating for very long, and I was still trying to get a grasp on what worked for him, so to speak. I hadn’t been able to make him come yet, despite ample effort and interest; I had only occasionally laid beside him in bed while he got himself off instead.

Tonight I’d wanted to give it another go, but his dick still seemed unimpressed. So I floundered, technique-wise, trying anything I could think of, until… he put his hand on mine, to pause my stroking, and said, simply: “Pinch the skin as hard as you can.”

I remember thinking: As HARD as I CAN?!Ā Are you SURE?!

But lo and behold, when I picked a spot on his shaft and followed his instruction, within seconds he was coming all over my hands.

That relationship didn’t last long, for a whole host of reasons (some sexual, some less so), but it taught me some important lessons that I would take with me into the rest of my sex & dating life ā€“ including that dick pain could be a turn-on for some people, and that apparently I was one of those people.

 

Why I like CBT now

It’s been nearly a decade since that initial pinchy handjob that kicked everything off, and I’ve done a fair bit more CBT since then. I’m certainly no pro, like the ballbusting experts you’ll see on clip sites and at certain fetish parties (you know who you are!), but I do it semi-regularly and with relish. Here are a few reasons I like topping for CBT…

ā€¢ Hurting people who want to be hurt is hot! I wouldn’t enjoy slapping someone’s dick around unless they really, really wanted me to, because masochists’ desire for pain and positive responses to pain are what make the interaction sexy to me, for the most part. Someone begging you to hurt them, if you’re both into that, can be as hot as someone begging you to fuck them, and for the same reasons: it means they want you and they trust you. That’s high praise!

ā€¢Ā Penises are culturally weighty. Slapping someone’s cock is really different from slapping, say, their ass or their face. Not only does it feel very physically different because of the different concentrations of nerve endings involved; it also feels pretty different psychologicallyĀ for both the top and the bottom. People’s feelings about their own genitals may relate to their understandings of gender, power, desirability/attractiveness, and more, and all of that may come up during CBT play (which is part of why pre-negotiation and aftercare are so important!). Likewise, I know my own feelings about CBT as a top are influenced by cultural baggage I’ve absorbed about dicks; over the course of my life, I have felt afraid of them, fascinated by them, desirous of them, and often some combination thereof, so it’s an interesting experience psychologically to inflict consensual pain on one.

ā€¢Ā New routes to pleasure/orgasm are cool! Few things are sexier to me than seeing someone being overwhelmed by pleasure, especially unexpectedly intense pleasure ā€“ and even though I’ve made my partner comeĀ many times by slapping their cock at this point, I still find it astonishing every single time. Aside from that one experience with a previous partner that I described above, neither my spouse nor I had played with this kink to this extent before, so it feels intimate and sweet that we’ve found this new-to-us way to share pleasure through pain.

 

How about you, dear reader? Are you a CBT aficionado, or is it a bridge too far for your delicate, uh, sensibilities? šŸ˜‰

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Valm 8-inch realistic dual-density dildo

Kate Sloan

This might be the perfect realistic dildo.

So perfect, in fact, that I was FURIOUS when someone in my building STOLE THE PACKAGE containing my custom-made dong, before I was able to retrieve it from outside my door.

And so perfect, indeed, that when Valm sweetly offered to just mail me another one, I was so delighted that all my anger at the anonymous dildo thief dissipated in the wind. I hope theyā€™re enjoying my dildo, wherever they are. I know I am.

That gradient tho

Customization options

In terms of shape and size, Valmā€™s dildo options are simple and straightforward: thereā€™s a 6-inch version, an 8-inch one (which is the one I chose to review, because my vagina is Goldilocks, apparently), a 10-inch and a 12-inch. Size queens/kings/monarchs, take note!

Each size option is available in 3 different silicone formulations: single-density, dual-density, and triple-density. Multi-density silicone is often used to make dildos feel more realistic ā€“ it means that the toy has a firm silicone core, with one or two layers of softer silicone on top. This creates a more lifelike penis-esque feeling, and also allows a dildo to be firm enough to stroke internal erogenous zones while also being squishy enough to be super comfortable.

The more silicone densities a dildo has, the more realistic it tends to feel ā€“ but more densities also means a higher price, so keep that in mind when making a decision. For instance, the dildo Iā€™m reviewing is dual-density and costs $161, while the single-density and triple-density versions of the same size cost $117 and $191, respectively.

Most glorious of all is the color options. You can get Valm toys in a couple of different skin tones or various bright colors. Theyā€™re also able to do custom gradients. I thought long and hard (dick joke barely intended) about what I wanted, and eventually settled on a gradient: the dildo is neon orange fading into hot pink toward the base of the shaft. Words and photos cannot do justice to how eye-gougingly bright it is IRL. It is technicolor. It is camp. It is 1960s (like this Gala Darling outfit). I love it so much.

Things I like about this dildo

  • The colors. Have I mentioned the colors?! This thing is soooo bright!
  • The dual-density silicone does indeed feel really real. The head is especially squishy, which allows it to nudge up into my A-spot easily without bothering my cervix (unless Iā€™m especially zealous). Itā€™s firmer through the shaft, which is ideal, IMO, but still soft enough to give me that satisfying stress-ball-squish feeling when I come around it.
  • The size is great for me. While the dildo is 8ā€ in total, its insertable length is 7.25ā€, so it can reach my A-spot with ease. The diameter is 1.65ā€, which manages to feel both pleasantly filling and ultra-comfortable for me (when Iā€™m turned on enough, of course).
  • The coronal ridge, while not as pronounced as those Iā€™ve seen on some other dildos, juts out enough that it feels amazing each time it strokes over my A-spot. Once I get this dildo nestled as deep as I want it, I barely have to move it in and out at all to get some pretty intense A-spot stimulation.
  • With its balls and suction cup base, this dildo is anal-safe, strap-on compatible, and can be stuck to hard flat surfaces for hands-free use (like shower walls, kitchen floors, or glass coffee tables ā€“ hey, you do you). The chunky base works well as a handle when thrusting, even on days when my hands are sore.
  • The surface of the silicone is unusually glide-y (as opposed to draggy) when well-lubricated, so I can thrust it fast and hard without encountering much resistance ā€“ which some people might not like, if they enjoy a lot of friction against their vaginal or anal walls, but I like it because it means my hands and arms donā€™t get sore from thrusting this dildo.

Things IĀ donā€™t like about this dildo

  • Its shaft is quite straight, so if youā€™re looking for a G-spot-focused dildo, look elsewhere. As mentioned, I love this toy for A-spot stim, but thatā€™s not everyoneā€™s jam, and thatā€™s fine.
  • The hyper-realistic ridges and folds around the head of the dildo, which are meant to look like (and indeed do look like) the corresponding features on a human penis, are pronounced enough on this toy that they can be mildly annoying to clean. Get in there with an old toothbrush or a washcloth and you should be fine.
  • The price points of these dildos are somewhat high compared to other dual-density options Iā€™ve seen,Ā but they are made in the USA, which Iā€™m sure is part of the reason for that and which may justify the cost for some buyers.

Final thoughts

To me, the Valm dual-density 8-inch is the Platonic ideal of a realistic dildo. Gorgeous colors. Pleasurable shape. Not too big, not too small, but just right (for me, anyway!). Firm where it needs to be, and squishy where it needs to be. Versatile, chameleonic, a cock-of-all-trades.

Wherever my first one ended up, I hope its thief sees its simple brilliance and beauty as clearly as I do.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

5 Types of Chastity Cage (& Who They’re Perfect For!)

Kate Sloan

In the realm of love, sometimes you don’t know exactly what you need until you find it. A partner’s particular personality traits, habits, or hobbies may seem far-removed from anything you’d envisioned for your dream love ā€“ and yet, you adore those qualities anyway, and they broaden your ideas about compatibility and what it can entail.

In the same way, I didn’t have much interest in chastity play until I started actually doing it, as a top/”keyholder” for my locked sub ā€“ at which point it became clear that this kink overlaps with several of my own turn-ons in interesting ways. The hypersensitivity, extreme horniness, and premature ejaculation that can be brought on by chastity are hot to me, and I love feeling ultra-desired in a laser-focused way by my very worked-up partner when she’s been caged for several days. I also just love dicks, so it’s cool that I get to ‘own’ one of my favorite ones in the world šŸ˜‰

In the ~5 years that my partner and I have been playing with this kink, we’ve tried several different chastity cages, and have enjoyed different ones for different reasons. So I was excited to get to partner with CageChastity.com for a post about some of the different types of cage and who might enjoy them, especially since the website has such a wide and varied selection of interesting cages!

Without further ado, let’s contrast and compare some of my favorite styles of cages… A cage match, if you will…

All images in this post via CageChastity.com

Clear cages

Best for: Voyeurs & exhibitionists

When I was a feisty young slut who frequently went out on the town, my friends and I would sometimes wear dresses with a cut-out in the chest region, which we’d refer to as a “cleavage window.” I am reminded of this whenever I see a clear chastity cage like this one, because it could likewise be termed a boner window. You get a full view of what’s inside, which could be humiliating in a fun way for the wearer, and is exciting for visually-inclined tops. šŸ‘€

Spiked cages

Best for: Sadomasochists

Yep, some people fetishize penile pain, and may seek out chastity cages with spikes on the inside to help sate that craving. My friend Dick Wound famously was named that because of their fondness for spiked chastity cages! (My sympathies to those of you who are protectively clutching your junk in horror as you read this…)

As an occasionally-sadistic top, I like how a spiked cage presents the wearer with a predicament: the harder their cock gets, the more the spikes hurt ā€“ which, if they’re turned on by the pain, easily becomes a feedback loop of yelps and welts! (Of course, you should do your research on proper first aid/aftercare before you use any toy that might break skin.)

Tiny pink cages

Best for: Sissies, cucks, and anyone who finds them gender-affirming

Most of us are well aware “in real life” that color needn’t be tied to gender; men can and do wear pink, and women can and do wear blue! But through kink, we often play with archetypes and stereotypes, even ones we know are outright false, because of how they make us feel. So it’s no surprise that cramming your cock into a teensy powder-pink cage could make you feel some type of way, whether you’re trans or cis (or not sure yet).

If you want to push things even further, you could get a chastity cage made to look like a vulva. It’s so cute!

Flat cages

Best for: “Ghost penis” play & sounding enthusiasts

Speaking of gender affirmation, these ultra-small cages compress your cock to its tiniest possible size, basically preventing it from getting hard at all, or at least making it highly uncomfortable to do so. Masochists and transfeminine people alike might enjoy these cages for that reason.

Some such cages are “inverted,” meaning that they have a protrusion on the inside which is meant to be inserted into the urethra. This makes the cage even more difficult to escape from, and also stimulates the sexually sensitive inside of the urethra, although ā€“ as with all forms of sounding ā€“ you’ll want to do your research on health & safety precautions before using this type of product.

One of my personal favorite uses for flat cages is “ghost penis” play, wherein a dildo or other penile stand-in is affixed to the cage, so that the wearer can see ‘their dick’ being stroked/sucked/etc. but can’t actually feel it. It’s even possible to make someone come this way (and I have), because the brain is the biggest sexual organ, after all!

Gold cages

Best for:Ā King Midas roleplay fetishists?!

I kid, I kid… It is interesting, though, to see a chastity cage in an aesthetic so often associated with wealth and power, when usually a locked-up cock is a symbol of (consensual)Ā disempowerment, submission, even humiliation. It leads me to wonder: What would it look like to build a scene around the idea of a locked cock beingĀ revered, being powerful, perhaps denoting the wearer’s rock-solid willpower and self-control?

It’s tempting, in kink, to see things in clear and simple binaries: “doms are always tops” or “subs are always bottoms,” for example (both false!), or even more insidious ideas like “men are more naturally dominant” and “women are more naturally submissive” (blegh). A gold-finish chastity cage, like a pair of luxuriantly fur-lined handcuffs, invites us to rethink the simplistic scripts we can easily fall into, and to imagine new possibilities instead, and I think that’s beautiful.

 

Thanks to CageChastity.com for sponsoring this post! Feel free to check out their collection of Holy Trainers and other cages. As ever, all writing and opinions in this post are my own.

Review: Lovense Lush 4 wearable vibrator

Kate Sloan

If you ever peruse cam sites or amateur porn sites, you’ve probably seen the Lovense Lush around. It’s a favorite of many online sex workers, because of how well Lovense’s long-distance technology works: once this little pink vibe is inside you, you can connect it to the Lovense app and cede control of the toy to someone far away, whether that’s a friend, a partner, or a customer who’s paid for the privilege.

Lovense’s many other offerings are great too ā€“ I’ve reviewed several! ā€“ but the Lush seems to be their most popular. So, needless to say, I was intrigued when Lovense reached out and asked if I’d like to review the latest iteration of this bestselling toy, the Lush 4. It launched today, but I’ve been testing it for a couple weeks now. Let me give you the lowdown on how this cult-fave toy has been updated!

Lush 3 (left) and Lush 4 (right)

How does the Lush 4 compare to the Lush 3?

  • The Lush 4’s clitoral arm is shaped differently, having more of an arrowhead/diamond shape than the rounder one on the 3, and is also slightly larger, so it can cover more real estate.
  • The Lush 4 offers rapid charging: charge it for just 5 minutes and you’ll get 1 hour of play. (Charging for a full 50 minutes, however, gets you up to 6 hours of play.)
  • There is a stylish “decorative electroplated piece” on the outside of the Lush 4’s clitoral arm, which (optionally) lights up with different-colored LED lights depending on the vibration mode you’re on, to give both partners a visual indicator of what the vibrator is doing at any given time.
  • The Lush 4’sĀ neck is slightly thicker and floppierĀ than the one on the 3.
  • The Lush 4 is slightly more expensive ($129 currently) than the Lush 3 ($119).

Other than those differences, the two models are quite similar: they have the same motor, their internal/G-spot arm is identical, and they’re both waterproof and relatively quiet.

Lush 3 (left) and Lush 4 (right)

Things I like about the Lovense Lush 4

  • I’ve come to expect fantastic vibrations from Lovense toys, and the Lush 4 delivers. Its vibrations are satisfyingly rumbly, and the app gives you extremely precise control over the vibe’s wide range of available intensities. My G-spot feels massaged and stroked by these vibrations, not at all irritated like it sometimes does with weak or buzzy vibes.
  • Speaking of my G-spot, this toy hits it with aplomb, just as the previous Lush did. Its contoured shape narrows to a rounded protrusion which presses against that spot with ease. I do have to readjust it sometimes to keep it where I want it (more on that later), but when it’s properly situated, it’s extremely stimulating.
  • The Lush 4 is frequently marketed as a vibrator you can wear under your clothes for discreet public play, and unlike almost all other vibes of which this is true, the Lush 4 is actually well-suited to the task. It’s quiet, comfortable even when worn for a few hours at a time, stays put relatively well if you’re wearing close-fitting underwear, and maintains its Bluetooth connection with impressive consistency. One word of warning, though: disable the LED lights in the Lovense app before using it in public, lest your waitress ask you why the hell your underwear is glowing! (I’d imagine folks with photosensitive epilepsy would want to disable this function, too.)
  • I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about those LED lights, but they’re a cool addition. As the partner controlling the vibe but not wearing it, it can sometimes be tricky to tell what exactly is going on, especially if your partner isn’t very vocal ā€“ but the lights change as you alter the vibrations, giving you a visual indicator of what your partner might be feeling. It’s not the most intuitive or informative display, but it’s something. And you can turn it off in the settings of the app if you don’t like it.
  • As ever, I’m impressed by Lovense’s connectivity, its app, and the many things you can do therein. Over the course of just one testing session, for example, I was able to control the toy myself in the app, send a link to a long-distance sweetheart to control it, and even sync up the vibrations with music. (Lush Life might be a good choice, for self-evident reasons… or perhaps something bassy and rhythmic, like the Shower Song?)
  • While it still doesn’t provide as much clitoral stimulation as I want/need (more on that below), the Lush 4 at least provides more clit stim than its predecessor, because its external arm is shaped in such a way that more vibration is transmitted to my clit. Still not enough for me to get off from, though.
  • The rapid charging function is quite useful, especially for this type of vibe, where you might impulsively decide to grab it right before a dinner date (for instance) and would be disappointed to find it dead. Just plug it in for five minutes ā€“ while you do your makeup or brush your teeth, say ā€“ and it’ll have enough juice for an hour of use.
  • It’s waterproof! Hurrah!

Things IĀ don’t like about the Lovense Lush 4

  • As with the other Lushes that came before it, the Lush 4 offers very little in the way of clitoral stimulation. To be fair, it’s not really aiming for that; Lovense’s own website even suggests that you pair your Lush 4 with their Ferri panty vibe if you want clit stim. But since the majority of vulva-havers enjoy clit stim and need it to reach orgasm, and since the external arm of the Lush makes it a bit challenging to slot a clit vibe into that area too, I do always wish that the Lush directed more vibrations onto my clit and not just my G-spot, so that I could get off from it. As is, it’s a fun tease that I really enjoy, but that’s it.
  • It’s subtle, but I’m pretty sure the neck of the Lush 4 is slightly floppier/bendier than the neck of the Lush 3, which (for my particular anatomy, anyway) means that the 4 is a bit more prone to sliding around inside me and doesn’t always stay exactly on my G-spot, especially if I’m moving around a lot. I had to manually readjust it a bit more, which could be annoying if you’re using it in public/trying to be discreet.
Lush 3 (left) and Lush 4 (right)

Final thoughts

Q. Is the Lush 4 worth buying?

A. If you want a G-spot vibrator, yes! If you want a vibrator you can comfortably and discreetly wear for public play, yes! If you want a vibrator that can be controlled by a long-distance partner (or customer), yes!

Q. What about if I need/want clitoral stimulation?

A. Alas, you won’t get much of it from the Lush 4. If I want to reach orgasm with this toy, I have to nudge its external arm aside to make room for a separate clitoral vibe. The vibrations which transmit into the Lush’s clitoral arm just aren’t enough to get me off on their own. If you want something that’s similar but more clit-focused, I’d suggest the wonderful Ferri panty vibe or the We-Vibe-esque Dolce.

Q.Ā Should I upgrade to the Lush 4 if I already own a Lush 3?

A. Probably not, unless you think that the LED light display or rapid charging feature would make a big difference for you. Either one (or both) of those might make an upgrade worthwhile. Aside from that, I don’t think it’s changed enough that youĀ need to upgrade.

Q. Can I control your vibe?!

A. No, that privilege is only extended to a very, very lucky few. You know who you are. šŸ˜˜

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.