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Review: Sohimi Clitoral Sucking Vibrator

Kate Sloan

In preparing to write this review, I went and looked up the Sohimi Clitoral Sucking Vibrator on the company’s website, and was shocked – SHOCKED! – to see they’re only charging $36 for it. (Less, if you catch them on a sale day.) Why did this shock me? Well, this toy is rechargeable, made of body-safe silicone, and an innovative multi-tasker, the likes of which a company like Lelo could crank out and charge $180+ for, easy. Damn, Sohimi. I’m impressed.

As with many toys I get sent to review, I didn’t have much choice about which product from the company’s catalogue I would be sent, and I wouldn’t have necessarily picked this one if they’d let me choose. But that’s because I wouldn’t have understood, just from looking at it, what it actually does.

This incompletely-named “clitoral sucking vibrator” does three things, only two of which are mentioned in its moniker. It’s shaped like an uppercase “J,” with a vibrating shaft meant for vaginal penetration on one end and a clit-sucking pressure wave stimulator on the other. But in the middle is something really neat: a G-spot-targeting bump that, when activated, trembles quickly like a partner intensely come-hithering to make you squirt. Sohimi calls this a 3-in-1 toy and they are not fucking around when they say that.

Of the three functions, the vibration is the least interesting to me, both because I already own a zillion vibrators and because these particular vibrations are pretty buzzy. But the other two functions, especially when used in tandem, are tantalizing. The light clitoral suction produced by pressure-wave technology is a very “treble-y” sensation, high-pitched and pinpointed sometimes to the point of being cloying, but here it is tempered by the comparative “bassiness” of that rumbling G-spot stimulator. The thrumming slows down quite a bit when inserted vaginally, as the motor works hard to fight against my restrictive flesh, but I can definitely still register it. When I use both functions in concert, both these crucial buttons get pushed so directly that a “whoa, I’m gonna come!” feeling creeps up faster than expected. I don’t even need to turn the vibrations on, and they’re so buzzy that I usually don’t.

I love that each of the three functions can be controlled independently; it makes me feel like I’m constructing my own customized masterpiece at a salad bar. Each function has multiple speeds/patterns which you can cycle through by pressing its respective button. This is a quality I always miss in dual-stimulation (or triple-stimulation) toys when it’s not present. My clit and G-spot usually want different things at different moments, so it’s nice to have granular control over what setting each component is on at any given time.

I’m not totally on board with the clitoral suction aspect of this toy, because it doles out a sharper, stronger sensation than many similar toys, and my clit is a sensitive baby. Adding lube helps, but nonetheless, I find myself staying on the lowest speeds because the rest get way too intense way too quickly. If you’re not a fan of pressure wave stimulation, this toy isn’t gonna convert you, the way something more nuanced like a high-end Womanizer might.

The design of this toy is such that you basically have to insert the vaginal arm in order to use any part of it; the shaft doesn’t comfortably bend enough to allow you to use the clitoral portion on its own, should you want to. This definitely limits the usefulness of the toy, as does the fact that (characteristically of dual-stim toys) it has to fit your anatomy or it won’t work. I normally have issues lining up dual-stim toys so that both my G-spot and my clit are getting the amount of attention they want, with the correct angle/positioning for each, but this toy happens to fit my body well in that way. The shaft has some give, but not a ton.

I also noticed that I have a tendency to accidentally bump buttons when I try to thrust with this toy, because of where the control panel is placed. But I think it’s not really meant to be thrusted, so maybe this wouldn’t bother most users.

This is one of those toys I’d only grab when I was craving something very specific – in this case, intense clit stim paired with profound G-spot stim – but that’s actually a craving I have fairly often. The Sohimi Clitoral Sucking Vibrator does what it does quite well, with the exception of vibration, and it’s also probably one of the most luxe-looking vibes you could get at its price point. A decent, rechargeable triple-stimulation toy for $36 is nothing to sneeze at, and I’m glad I gave this one a shot!

 

This review was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Dame Arc

Kate Sloan

When I first started buying sex toys as a teen, I wanted a vibrator that could “do it all.” That was my holy grail. And who could blame me? With minimal (if any) income, and limited privacy and storage space since I was living at home, it made more sense to look for versatile toys that could multi-task or do double duty, rather than getting a different toy for each intended usage.

As I got older and learned more about sex toys, I began to see the appeal of toys more specialized in function. There are, for example, some clit stimulators so good that they don’t need to do anything else, and some dildos so inventively shaped that I don’t even care about their inability to vibrate. But there is still something intriguing about the idea of One Sex Toy to Rule Them All – one toy that you could throw in your bag for a getaway or a sex-date and know you had your bases covered.

The Dame Arc, I’m thrilled to tell you, is that type of toy.

I was duly excited when I saw a preview of the Arc at ANME earlier this year. Dame has really stepped up their game these past couple years; once considered a bit of a joke among my sex toy reviewer friends due to their ultra-buzzy, oddly-designed Eva, they later came out with new clit vibes, like my beloved Kip, which boasted robust motors, thoughtful shapes, and cute colors. The pleasure Dame had given to clits worldwide was pleasure that G-spots deserved too, so I was glad to see they were launching not only a G-spot toy, but a G-spot toy that looked really fucking good.

It is really fucking good. My pals at TheVibed sent me one to try, in a lovely ice-blue color (it also comes in a dusty rose), and as soon as I held it in my hands and turned it on, I knew I would like it. The silicone is smooth and soft, the curve is well thought-out, the controls are easy to understand, and the vibrations are – as I’ve come to expect from Dame – impressive.

Dame’s marketing for the Arc explicitly positions it as a toy you can use clitorally for warm-up before moving to penetration. It’s odd how rare it is for sex toy companies to specifically mention the clitoral useability of penetrative vibrators, given that most of the vibrator users I know are mostly using ’em on their clits. The Arc is designed to be comfortable and ergonomic whether you’re using it externally or internally, and as someone with intermittently tricky hands and wrists, I can confirm that this toy is easy for me to handle. The hard plastic panel around the charging connectors on the back of the vibe makes it easier to keep a firm grip on the toy even when it’s lubed up, and the shape of the handle makes sense in my hand.

There’s a seam running all the way around the middle of the toy – a fairly common flaw among vibrators – but Dame has leaned into it by discussing it as a feature rather than a bug. They call it a “beaked tip” ideal for pinpoint clitoral stimulation. I tend to like my clit stimulation a bit broader, but if you prefer the tiniest of touches on your clit, this seam/ridge can focus the toy’s powerful vibrations into a very small area so you can get the specificity you need.

Vaginally, the curve is just right for my body. Not as extreme as a Pure Wand but much more pleasurable than a straight shaft, this is a Goldilocks-level G-spot toy for me. It arcs effortlessly into my spot, but doesn’t press so hard as to cause discomfort, even in the early stages of arousal when that’s always a risk for me. It locks into place fairly well behind my pubic bone, making it easy for me to thrust or rock the toy to my heart’s content, or just leave it stationary while I do other stuff to my clit. This is also exactly the type of toy that makes it super easy for me to squirt.

The motor is, as advertised, excellent. It starts low and rumbly – perfect for warm-up, or a slow and lazy wank – and stays fairly rumbly as you turn up the power. There are 5 speeds, and you can also hold down the “up” and “down” buttons for a more gradual change. (I slightly wish there was an accompanying app, as with We-Vibe toys, so I could have even more fine-tuned control of the settings.) People who need a lot of power probably won’t find this toy strong enough, and for them I would recommend putting a G-spot attachment on a wand instead. The Arc also has 5 patterns, all fairly steady rhythms that work really well for my G-spot. Even leaving the toy perfectly still inside me can feel like motion when it’s set to one of the thrumming/pulsing/pounding patterns.

Since the Arc is also waterproof and pretty quiet, I think this would be a good option for someone who has to keep their solo sex life on the down-low at home, due to kids/nosy relatives/etc. Tell your fam you’re gonna need some time alone in the bath or shower, and you should be fine! It even comes with a cute cloth storage bag bearing the (totally non-explicit) Dame logo, so you can tuck it away when you’re not using it and it won’t draw attention.

The Arc costs a cool $115 – but seems pretty reasonable when you compare it to other G-spot vibrators of similar quality, like the We-Vibe Rave ($113), BMS Factory Swan Wand ($150), and Lelo Mona 2 ($169). Dame offers a 3-year warranty, and that certainly sweetens the deal.

Overall, I think the Dame Arc is a really fantastic vibrator, one that I wish I had been able to own when I was a teen. It’s simple and elegant, yet undeniably effective. If there’s a person in your life who has a vagina and has minimal (or no) sex toy experience, I think this would be a great gift for them, because it’s not overly intimidating but is still plenty great enough to get the job done. But this is also a lovely vibe for someone like me, who’s tried hundreds of toys and just wants something that works well. With the Arc, Dame has created an all-rounder and an instant classic. I can’t wait to see what they make next.

 

Thanks so much to my friends at TheVibed for sending me this product and sponsoring this review! As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Monster Pub Mister Devil 2

Kate Sloan

Gather round; I come bearing good news. A sex toy company actually made improvements that turned their okay toy into a great toy. HALLELUJAH, praise the vibrator lord!!

Nearly 3 years ago, I reviewed the Monster Pub Doctor Whale, a wearable, app-controlled dual-stimulation vibe designed not only to feel good but also to help you do daily Kegel workouts. While I thought the aesthetic of that little whale was cute, and the idea behind it was inventive, in practice it just… wasn’t that great. The whale’s tail, meant to please your clit while the whale’s body is inside your vagina, barely reached or stimulated my clit at all. Worse yet, the accompanying smartphone app was overly busy and sometimes incomprehensible, and the toy’s Bluetooth connectivity was incredibly patchy, such that it could rarely stay connected to my phone for the duration of a set of Kegel exercises, let alone a masturbation session.

I wrote at the time, “I think this line of toys has a lot of potential; the designers just need to fix the connectivity issues, tighten up the app, and maybe construct a more stimulating tail for this li’l whale.” And guess what? THEY ACTUALLY DID ALL OF THAT. Yessss!

The updated version Monster Pub sent me is called the Mister Devil – specifically, the “2 premium app track” version, which, per Monster Pub’s FAQ page, has extra features some of the other versions don’t, including dual motors, motion control, and “smart heating.” Cheaper and less decked-out iterations of the toy range in price from $50-80 – actually pretty reasonable for a silicone app-controllable vibrator – but the version I’m reviewing today is the priciest one, at $150.

At first, I wasn’t sure which side of the vibe was meant to be inserted, but the instructions noted that the bigger side – the devil’s head – is the side that contains the motion sensor for the toy’s Kegel functionalities, so that’s the one that should be inserted. There are two “devil’s horns” on that side that are a little uncomfortable upon insertion, but once inside, I don’t find them especially noticeable. The smaller, external arm has some ridges on it that don’t do much for me in terms of stimulation, but seem to help the toy stay anchored in place better, even when I’m not wearing underwear.

That clitoral arm is one of the most notable changes from the older Monster Pub vibe I tried. It’s substantial and firm enough to stay put against my clit, and plenty long enough to actually reach it (although, if the distance between your vagina and clit is on the shorter side, you may find that this arm overreaches your clit and potentially pokes you in the mons). It also has its own motor this time around, which should always be the case for toys like these, because vibration radiating from an internal motor to your clit is likely to be weak and muted. Clits deserve their own motors, dammit!

Speaking of motors… The ones in this toy are rumblier and stronger than I would have predicted for a toy of this size, especially one from a relatively little-known company. I can feel them throughout my clitoral network when the toy is in use. Sometimes they irritate my G-spot a little, but I’m not the biggest fan of G-spot vibration in general, so your mileage may vary. I particularly enjoy having my partner rhythmically press their fingers into my external G-spot while the toy is inside me, as this creates pleasant pulsing waves of sensation from the inside and the outside all at once.

While the toy can be controlled without the use of its app, I wouldn’t recommend using it that way. There’s only one button on the toy, and it can be used to cycle through various patterns and speeds, but it’s an annoying process and using the app is much easier and more intuitive. The app (which is available for both iOS and Android) offers multiple different ways of controlling the toy’s vibrations, including a “motion control” mode that makes the vibrations flare up when you shake your phone, a “touch mode” that responds to your fingers swiping/tapping your phone screen, and a series of fixed modes. You can also design custom vibration patterns and download patterns that other users have made.

The strength and speediness of the connectivity between the app and the toy is very impressive, especially considering that big companies like We-Vibe still often struggle with this. We had zero disconnection problems while testing this toy; my We-Vibe Sync, by comparison, tends to disconnect every few minutes – or even more, if there are obstructions like clothing or thighs in the way. The vibrations also seemed to respond in real-time to the motion-control settings. For these reasons, I think this would be a great toy for public play, if you’re into that. It needs minimal readjustment (either physical or technological) once it’s inside you and connected to the app, making it an ideal dinner date companion… when and if we’re able to go on dinner dates again in the future!

The app is confusing at times, I have to say, due to the language barrier. This was a problem the last time I tried one of these toys, too. My partner – an app developer – noted that the app’s tutorial was unclear and its overall layout is chaotic. The provided instructions don’t help much, either. But with experimentation and time, we were able to figure out how to do most of the things we wanted to do. (Still never found the fabled heating mode…)

The flagship feature of Monster Pub vibes, however, is their Kegel exercise system. The toy contains a sensor that can detect how much pressure your pelvic muscles exert on it, so when you load up a Kegel regimen on the app, you can see in real-time how strong your muscles are. The app leads you through a workout involving timed intervals of squeezing and releasing, complete with reminders to inhale and exhale – it’s actually kind of hypnokinky! You can even track your progress over time – the app generates a graph that shows you how much stronger you’ve become as you’ve done more workouts. It’s a super cool feature, and I would definitely recommend this toy over a set of plain ol’ Kegel balls (assuming it’s financially feasible for you) if you’re interested in increasing your PC muscles’ strength, whether for medical reasons or just pleasure-based ones.

Overall, I’m quite impressed by the Monster Pub Mister Devil, and think it’s a fantastic product for people who want a responsive Bluetooth-controllable vibe and/or a cool and fun new way to do Kegel exercises. The premium version is spendy, at $150; if you only want the vibration functions and no Kegel modes, you can get the $90 “Excited Biofeedback” version instead, but if the pelvic health stuff is what draws you to this toy, I don’t think you’re gonna find a better-designed Kegel exercise product than the one I got to try. It’s pleasurable, comfortable, high-tech, and actually helpful for those of us looking to optimize our PC muscles’ functioning. Way to go, Monster Pub!

 

This review was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Fun Factory Bouncer (+ a giveaway!)

Kate Sloan

The Fun Factory Bouncer is the type of toy that’s like catnip for seasoned sex toy reviewers like me, because… it actually does something markedly different than other toys in its category. And since the category in this case is “dildo,” that’s even more impressive. When overhauling a vibrator, you can tweak the material, motor strength and quality, motor location, control panel, and shape/size/design… but with dildos, your options for originality are much more limited.

So what did Fun Factory do? They took a fairly standard-looking silicone dildo and created 3 hollow spaces inside it, and in each of those spaces, they placed a weighted ball that rolls around as you move the toy – just like the kind you’d find if you cracked open a set of Kegel beads. Innnteresting!

The result is a dildo that looks unremarkable from the outside (albeit peppy and bright, as most Fun Factory designs do) but feels completely different in your hands – or your vagina or your ass – than any dildo you’ve ever felt before. Unlike Kegel balls, which tend to stay pretty stationary once inserted, a dildo is meant to be thrusted – so even if you’ve experienced this style of Kegel toy before, this dildo is likely to feel quite different. The weighted balls roll around in their little nooks with every thrust, creating a sensation that’s sort of like low-level motion-activated vibration. It also reminds me of that delicious feeling you get when a partner’s fucking you so hard that their balls slap against your vulva/butt/thighs – except in this case, that little extra “oomph” happens inside you instead. Neat!

The rumbling gets a bit muted when my vaginal muscles clamp down on the toy, and I have to admit I found this disappointing at first. The physics of it don’t even really make sense to me. But once I realized this was happening, it became almost like a fun sexual mindfulness game… If I noticed that the toy was feeling less impactful all of a sudden, it usually meant I was clenching my PC muscles, and could function as a nice reminder to relax, let go, and let the sensations wash over me instead of trying to eke out a speedy orgasm. (The late great masturbation expert Betty Dodson – rest in peace, you brilliant problematic fave – often recommended orgasming this way; she called it the “rock ‘n’ roll” method and insisted it produced bigger, better climaxes than most people’s go-to, the “tension” method. Something to think about!)

The Bouncer is well-designed for both solo play and partnered encounters, with its sturdy-but-squishy triangular base that you can grab between your fingers or gently punch with your fist (the internal balls roll around a lot more when you thrust hard and fast, so go wild!). There’s a strong suction cup on the bottom, though I think you’d barely reap the full benefits of the toy’s unique rumbles if you were bouncing up and down on this dildo while it was affixed to the floor or a wall. It can also easily be slipped into a harness for strap-on play, a notion that excited me and my partner from the jump.

While we both enjoyed the Bouncer a lot whether they were fucking me with it by hand or strapped into our RodeoH harness, my partner observed that in both situations, this dildo takes more energy, strength, and stamina to thrust for an entire session than a standard dildo would – at least, if you want to actually feel the signature rumbling it produces. Slower, more sensual thrusting tends to produce minimal – if any – ball-rolling inside the toy, so you really have to put some elbow grease into your thrusts if you want to experience the full range of sensations this toy has to offer. While this was perfectly doable in 10-to-20-minute bursts for my able-bodied partner, I think this might be a tricky toy for you to use to its full potential if you have chronic pain, muscle strength issues, fatigue, etc. This is the main reason I probably won’t reach for this toy very often during solo play, but will likely still hand to my partner once in a while for a thorough, resounding fuck.

It helps that the shape and size of this dildo are pretty perf for my body. It has 7″ of insertable length and a solid 1.57″ diameter – big enough to feel satisfyingly full but not so big as to require lots of warm-up. The gentle undulation of the shaft shape feels really good when thrusted in and out, swelling against my spots on every stroke. This dildo can target the G-spot and feels great that way, but that spot tends to crave a hard, fast pounding that’s difficult to achieve with a draggy silicone toy like this, even when it’s slathered in lots of lube – so I prefer to use it deeper, on my A-spot, where slower and more purposeful thrusts are appreciated. I do sometimes wish it were a little longer, particularly during strap-on play when it loses about an inch to the harness, but with careful angling, it can hit any spot inside me that a longer toy can.

I appreciate that Fun Factory knew this toy was already quirky AF inside and didn’t need to look quirky, too. They enclosed those show-stopping weighted balls inside a fairly basic, uncontroversial dildo that many people should be able to enjoy, which I think was the right call. As long as you can handle the size, this dildo will likely feel good-but-not-great in your vag or your butt (and yes, it is anal-safe!). Being mouth-fucked with it would also be an interesting sensation…

The Fun Factory Bouncer is a bit of a diva, in that it works best when you’re thrusting hard, relaxing your pelvic muscles, and maintaining rhythmic momentum – which is a lot to be aware of at once. But if you’re up for that amount of labor, by yourself or with a partner, I think this is a really fun and special toy that is truly unmatched on the current market. It has bounced, jiggled, rumbled, and rocked-‘n’-rolled its way right into my heart (and my vagina)!

 

Thanks to the good folks at SXY.co.uk for providing me with this toy and sponsoring this review! (As always, all writing and opinions are my own.) They have also offered up a Bouncer for one lucky reader in the UK or Ireland – here’s how to enter:

  1. Follow @sxy_uk on Instagram
  2. Follow me (@girly_juice) on Instagram
  3. Leave a comment on this Instagram post of mine answering the question “What would your dream dildo be like?” and tagging a friend

Please note that you must be 18+ and live in the UK or Ireland to win. I’ll pick a winner after one week. Good luck, babes!

5 Natural Ways to Reignite Your Libido

Kate Sloan

It’s been quite a week, to say the least. And quite a month. And quite a year.

While there has been an occasional piece of good news amongst the bad (Joe! Kamala! All the wonderful trans and BIPOC candidates who won senate seats! Steve Kornacki finally getting to pack up his map and go get some sleep!), obviously overall it has been a rough time to be a human. That’s part of why, in my sex educator communities, there has been so much discussion this year of how (or whether!) to try to reignite your libido in such tumultuous times.

This is a fairly new problem for me, and I know I’m lucky in that way. Traditionally my libido hasn’t ebbed, but has instead flowed, during times of high stress. If that’s your experience too, please know that there’s nothing wrong with it – it can be more difficult to navigate when you’re in a relationship with someone whose stress affects them in the opposite way, but it’s still fine!

It’s also 100% fine if you don’t want to revive your libido right now – either because there’s too much other stuff to do (our work is not over and there’s still a lot that can be done to support, for example, Democrats in the Georgia runoff elections), or because you just don’t have the energy at the moment (FAIR!), or because you just plain don’t feel sexy while fascism is flaring.

This post, however, is for people whose sexual desire has waned, and who want to do something about that. Sex and masturbation can be almost medicinal for me in stressful times, giving me much-needed bursts of happy neurotransmitters, affirmation of my desirability and desirousness, or even just helping me sleep. So here are some tips you can try if you’re missing sex – or just missing the sensation of wanting sex – and want to give your libido a gentle boost.

 

Try something new sexually. It doesn’t even really matter what it is. A magnificent new vibrator or clitoral sucker. A kink scene involving hot wax or E-stim. Even just a new position. Many sex and relationships experts point to the hit of happy chemicals your brain produces when you try a new and exciting thing, regardless of whether the thing itself ends up becoming a new fave of yours or not. This is a really easy way to put the spring back in your step sexually.

Not sure where to start? Take a BDSM quiz online (with a partner or alone), fill out a Yes/No/Maybe list, peruse sex toy reviews written by people you trust (hiii), or just ask your perviest friend what their latest sexual fascination is!

 

Seek out new sexual stimuli. I know it’s not always the most fun thing to scroll through porn sites or flip through erotica books when sex feels unappealing, but it’s gotta be better than sitting around feeling sad about your magically disappearing libido, right?

Set aside some time on a regular basis to explore new things in your sexual medium of choice, whether that be hardcore kinky porn, soft tender fanfiction, group sex erotica, or literally whatever. Maybe it’ll be unbelievably hot and get you all riled up; maybe it’ll just make you laugh or teach you more about human sexuality. Either way, it’ll give your brain and genitals something new to ponder. (Don’t forget to pay for your porn, please! Supporting sex workers is hot.)

 

Drugs ‘n’ supplements. (Big congrats to all the states that recently legalized weed, medicinal shrooms, etc.!) These are not an option for everyone, of course, whether it be due to their own personal views on drugs, or something more logistical like an incompatibility with crucial medications they’re already on. There’s also the question of how drugs may affect one’s ability to consent – which is why I suggest negotiating the components of an upcoming sexual encounter while still sober, deciding on safewords that are easy to say, and checking in regularly.

I’ve always found that smoking or vaping marijuana enhances my arousal and pleasure, in part because it reduces the volume of my depressed and anxious thoughts. Some of my friends have had similar experiences with shrooms, hashish, and various other trippy goodies. You could also look into natural libido supplements, such as HerSolution, which contains bloodflow-boosting niacin, orgasm-intensifying cayenne, and various other herbals, nutrients, and alleged aphrodisiacs. (Be sure to check with your doctor before adding anything new to your medication regimen, especially if you have preexisting conditions!)

 

Cultivate a new crush. I often return to this strategy when I’m depressed because I know how motivating and uplifting a juicy crush can be for me. Maybe you’re still fantasizing about the map guys from election week and want to go read some John King fanfiction. Maybe that person you follow on Twitter for their hilarious political jokes would be open to a flirty DM (tread carefully and respectfully!). Maybe you just want to re-watch a beloved old TV show and obsess over the will-they-won’t-they dynamic between your favorite characters.

However you choose to manifest it, I believe that (for those of us who are alloromantic, i.e. capable of experiencing romantic attraction) crushy energy can be heart-healing and world-widening. This is true even if (and perhaps especially if) nothing ever comes of the crush. Just like meditation is more about the bliss of the journey than it is about the one-time attainment of enlightenment, having a crush can be more about the invigorating almostness of it than it is about actually pursuing the person/people you have your eye on. And yeah, sometimes that can lead to an uptick in sexy feelings, too.

 

Make time and space for yourself to feel sexy. This one is so important, and unfortunately our overstuffed days under capitalism don’t often allow for it. But study after study has shown that stress inhibits sexual desire, and so in many cases your best bet in fighting libido troubles is to eliminate the stressors in your life that can be eliminated, whenever possible, and create little stress-free zones within your day/week/life.

This might mean rearranging your work week so that you have 3 hours open on a Tuesday night to read erotica in a hot bath by candlelight. It might mean asking your spouse to watch the kids for an evening so you can try out your new sex toy. It might mean addressing that lingering health issue that’s been making you feel super gross/ugly but that you haven’t had the time or energy to deal with. It might mean doing your hair and makeup, slipping into some lingerie, and taking some sensuous selfies so you can get some sweet sweet dopamine hits from your thirsty followers’ likes and retweets. It might mean clearing your schedule to watch a sexy ’90s thriller while munching popcorn with your sweetheart and then seeing where the night takes you.

The point is, you can’t expect yourself to just randomly feel sexy if all the circumstances of your life are conspiring to keep you focused on more pressing but less fun things. Sex may be “play” but it doesn’t have to be an afterthought if it’s important to you; you can choose to make it a priority, to treat it as an ironclad commitment on your calendar, to leave the proverbial door open so your desire can pay you a visit.

 

What has helped you most when you’ve had a prolonged dip in your sexual desire?

 

Thanks to HerSolution for sponsoring this post! As always, all writing and opinions are my own.