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Review: VVD Vkini vibrating bra

Kate Sloan
By the way, if you want to see more of my tits, here’s a photo set and a video in which they’re prominently featured. Or you could email me to commission some custom content!

How do you feel about your breasts, if you’ve got ’em?

I feel neutral-to-mildly-positive about mine, most days. I don’t feel insecure or self-conscious about them like I did when I was younger (thank fuck!), and I certainly don’t have any dysphoria about them like some of my trans and nonbinary friends have experienced – but I also don’t think about them much, and it doesn’t often occur to me to request breast/nipple stimulation during sex, even though it usually feels good when it does happen. They’re just… not a big part of my self-conception, sexually or otherwise, and never really have been.

Part of the reason for that, I’m sure, is that there aren’t very many breast-centric sex toys (relative to other types)! Maybe I’d be more “in touch with” my boobs, so to speak, if I’d reviewed tits-focused toys in equal proportion to all the clitoral and vaginal toys I’ve tried – but almost all of the breast-y products in my collection are nipple clamps, designed to provoke pain, not pleasure. Don’t get me wrong, I like nipple clamps – but I have to be in a pretty specific mood to want my tits to be tortured.

So you can see why I was intrigued when VVD, makers of the rideable vibrating “sex saddle” I reviewed last year, reached out to tell me they’d created a vibrating bra and wanted me to review it. It’s called the Vkini (cute name!). Let’s talk about it.

What is the VVD Vkini?

VVD describes the Vkini as a “wearable nipple stimulator.” Structurally, it’s similar to a very skimpy bikini top, with adjustable back and arm straps – but instead of breast cups, it’s got spring-like silicone spirals which hold your breasts in place, while the heart-shaped vibrators in the centre of each spiral stimulate your nipples.

While it can be controlled directly via the buttons on the two nipple vibrators, the Vkini also optionally pairs with an app called MetaXSire which allows you to control the toy from nearby or afar. (More on that later.)

Included with the bra itself is two pairs of magnetic attachments, one shaped like little flowers and one shaped like little mouths, complete with tiny silicone tongue. These serve to vary the sensations you can get from the toy.

Attachments

Things I like about the VVD Vkini:

  • First of all, shout-out to VVD for this concept. I genuinely think it’s cool and unique. As I mentioned above, a lot of the breast-focused sex toys on the market are pain-based – think nipple clamps, “tit-tuggers,” and bondage bras – so it’s refreshing to see an entirely pleasure-based product in this category. I think it’s clever the way the spiral-shaped cup holds each tit in place so that the vibrator more-or-less stays put on each nipple.
  • The aesthetic of this product is very up my alley, as a lovecore fanatic! It reminds me of those LoveLife vibrators from back in the day, which I once found too girly-looking but have since come around on, because our world is so full of hatred and division that symbols of love seem more important and subversive than ever. The spirals embedded in this toy’s design also lend it a certain hypnokinky aesthetic; I think it would be particularly adored by those whose hypnosis kink crosses over into ‘bimbo’ play, like my pal Sleepingirl. (Actually… Sleepingirl, if you’re reading this and want me to send you this toy once I’m done with my review, let me know – it should belong to someone like you! 😂)
  • If you control the toy’s vibrations via its buttons, you can flip through 5 speeds and 5 patterns, which is a decent amount of variety. And unlike with most genital vibrators, I found myself actually enjoying the vibration patterns this toy has, because their rhythmic variation feels more like the type of nipple stimulation I like (having them stroked or licked) than standard vibration does. I also like that each nipple vibe can be controlled independently, as this allows for more variety of sensation.
  • If you want even more variation in the vibration intensity, you can download the MetaXSire app on your phone and control it that way. It has many of the functions I’ve come to expect from vibrator apps these days: long-distance control, syncing to music/sound, motion-sensor control, and the ability to try other people’s custom-designed vibration patterns and create some of your own. (Like many other vibrator apps, this one seems to borrow heavily from Lovense’s app in terms of design and functionality, and I don’t love when companies copy other companies, although I have to admit that Lovense has a damn good app so I understand why so many people crib from them.)
  • VVD claims proudly that the Vkini is “crafted for women of all shapes and sizes” (no love for nonbinary people…?!) but then also says it will only comfortably fit “small to medium chest sizes (A-C cups, some D cups).” That being said, my current bra size is approximately 30DD, and the Vkini fit me just fine after adjusting the straps, albeit with a bit of cup-runneth-over. My wife has much smaller breasts (an A cup or thereabouts) and it fit her too – and looked super cute, I might add! However, VVD is right that the Vkini isn’t entirely suitable for people with larger breasts than a D cup, as Sydney Screams describes in their review. Even if your boobs are small, having a wide chest may make it difficult to wear this product, because the length of the short strap between the two cups is barely adjustable.
  • The Vkini is IPX6 water-resistant, so you can use it in the shower (or in the rain… or in a waterfall… hey, I don’t know your life!) but you shouldn’t submerge it in a tub, pool, etc. Normally I prefer my sex toys to be fully waterproof so I can jerk off in the bath if I want to, but it matters less to me for a breast-focused toy because my boobs are usually above the waterline anyway.
  • I appreciate that this toy is priced at $50 (that’s cheaper than many actual bras!), and I think that’s a decent price for what you get: the vibrating bra itself, two sets of attachments, and a storage bag for the whole kit and caboodle.
  • Speaking of the attachments – while I have my issues with them (see below), I like that they’re easy and quick to magnetically attach and detach, and I haven’t had any issues with them falling off or moving around during use.

Things I don’t like about the VVD Vkini:

  • Unfortunately, the vibrations are pretty buzzy, i.e. high-pitched/surface-level, as opposed to deep/rumbly. This doesn’t bother me as much for nipple stim as it does for clit stim, since at least I can still get off if my nipples go numb (by stimulating my clit, as I normally would) – but it does make it hard for me to use this toy for more than 5-10 minutes at a time, after which the buzzy vibrations feel annoying, itchy, and desensitizing to my skin. (I will say, however, that these vibrations are rumblier than those of Lovense’s vibrating nipple clamps, which are so troublingly buzzy that they sometimes felt almost like heart palpitations to me – scary!)
  • On a similar note: the vibrations seem to be focused in the outer-facing part of the bra, not the part that actually touches your nipples. When I tried out the Vkini’s magnetic attachments, I found that very little of the vibration was conducted into them; the sensation was significantly dulled compared to using the toy without attachments. As a result, I wasn’t able to notice much of a difference in sensation when using an attachment vs. not using one, aside from the reduction in vibration strength.
  • It’s mildly annoying that each of the toy’s two motors has to be turned on and off individually and charged individually – although the toy does come with a double-pronged charger to make this more convenient, and many of the modes in the MetaXSire app allow you to control both vibes at once, after you’ve turned them both on.
  • Speaking of the MetaXSire app – it has a bunch of weird A.I.-porn functionalities built into it, which you have to pay extra for, in the form of “X-Coins” which can then be spent on things like A.I. image generation and text generation. There’s even a feature where you can clone your own voice (😬) and have it say whatever dirty talk you type in. Weirder still, there’s a bank of pre-existing A.I. voices that can talk dirty to you, including celebrity voices such as Matthew McConaughey, Lady Gaga, Anthony Hopkins, Demi Lovato, and… “King Trumpy,” a.k.a. the authoritarian sex-pest currently in the White House (YIKES!!). All of this feels unnecessary and off-putting, for reasons that myself and various anti-A.I. thinkers have previously articulated.
  • While the wearability and Bluetooth-controllability of the Vkini might lead you to believe it’d be a good toy for surreptitious public play, I think it would be EXTREMELY obvious under pretty much any kind of clothing. I’d wear it to a fetish party, maybe, but certainly not to the bank or the grocery store, etc.!

Final thoughts

If you’ve been looking for an easy, hands-free way to experience nipple vibration, I think the VVD Vkini would be an awesome choice for you, provided your boobs are within the A–D cup range. It’s a super inventive (not to mention cute-as-fuck!) product for targeted nipple stimulation.

Personally, I’d prefer if the vibrations were quite a bit rumblier, and transmitted better into my actual nipples instead of just buzzing dully on the surface of my skin. But this is the type of toy that’s probably best as a deliciously torturous tease, rather than a grand finale, so maybe it’s okay that it doesn’t entirely satisfy 😉 I especially think a toy like the Vkini would be fun for people who like long-distance teasing, since you can control the vibrations from afar using the app. Just imagine trying to carry on a normal conversation with someone while they intermittently surprise you with little buzzes, Hysterical Literature-style!

If you’re considering picking up a Vkini of your own, you can use my discount code GIRLY at checkout to get $5 off, which brings the price down to $45. That’s less than you’d spend on a new bra at Victoria’s Secret, and those don’t even vibrate. 😂

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

5 reasons why YOU (not an A.I.!) should write your own online dating messages

Kate Sloan
Photo by mb

Sometimes people are surprised to hear I’ve been writing about sex and relationships for over a decade, as though there can’t possibly be that much to say on those subjects (this blog’s 1.4-million total word count would beg to differ!). What I always tell them is that sexuality and romance are endlessly fascinating – not only because they contain infinite variations, but because technological and cultural progression constantly pushes them to evolve. Sometimes these evolutions are slow, and sometimes they’re rather sudden – such as, for example, the way language models like ChatGPT are affecting dating online.

I won’t go too deep into the common criticisms of this type of A.I., since you’ve probably heard them already: the creative theft, the ecological impacts, and so on and so forth. All of that stuff is important and has been written about at length by people who know more about it than I – but another thing that troubles me about A.I., personally, is the way it might affect our relationships.

It already is affecting them, in fact. I know several people (myself included) who’ve been surprised and hurt when a friend or partner sent a text that seemed to be ChatGPT-generated, as if personal connection is something that can be delegated to a digital assistant. Similarly, several news outlets have reported on the phenomenon of people using A.I. for online dating – either to help them craft their profile, or (worse, in my opinion) to write messages for them.

I very much understand the impulse, as a socially anxious person myself – but today I want to make the case for why you absolutely should not do this, even if you really want to.  You’ll be shortchanging your potential partners, but most of all, you’ll be shortchanging yourself. Here’s why:

1. A.I.-generated messages are bad. Like, embarrassingly bad.

Seriously. And they’re easy to spot, especially by people who’ve used these LLMs and are familiar with their cadence. Do you really want someone’s first impression of you to be “this person is intellectually lazy, socially unskilled, and totally disinterested in authentic human connection”?

I promise, even if you think you’re a bad writer, you’ll be ahead of the curve if you just write a specific compliment about the person’s profile followed by an open-ended and interesting question their profile inspired in you. And it’ll sound like you, not like a soulless collage of stolen excerpts. On that note…

2. You (not the A.I.) need to figure out what interests you about the person you’re messaging.

Sometimes people ask me, “What should I say in a first online dating message?” After telling them about Girl on the Net’s ‘compliment + question + connect’ formula, I’ll usually add: What caught your eye about the person’s profile? What made you swipe right (or whatever’s the equivalent on your app/site of choice)? Surely it’s something a little more specific and interesting than just “They looked hot in their photo.” Ponder the answer(s) to that question and you’ll have some good starting points for initial messages.

Sure, you could screenshot someone’s profile and feed it into an A.I. to generate a list of potential questions and talking points – but then you’re messaging them about what the robot finds notable. By contrast, the things that you find notable about someone’s profile are hugely useful clues – they can help you come up with conversation topics, sure, but more importantly, they help you assess whether this is someone you want to go out with/could be attracted to/might be compatible with. When you entrust that discernment task to a robot, you’re robbing yourself of the opportunity to get more in touch with your desires and to connect authentically with people who could fulfill them.

3. You only get better at socializing by doing more of it.

As I mentioned, I’m socially anxious myself – so I sympathize with folks who find it soothing to navigate social interactions with ChatGPT, I really do… but the thing about taking the easy way out is, you never learn to take the harder route, and so that route remains unfamiliar and foreboding. That can be a massive bummer when that route happens to lead to somewhere cool – like deep, fulfilling intimacy with another human being. Dating is a numbers game, and it ends up being a social-skills training ground for all kinds of people, not just socially anxious ones – so try not to feel bad about being unskilled at it; we all have to start somewhere.

Further, not to sound like an alarmist luddite, but some burgeoning science has shown that ChatGPT usage may make you more intellectually lazy and unengaged over time… which doesn’t bode well for its effects on relationships, an area where mental disengagement can be very noticeable, hurtful, and destructive. (Ever tried to tell a vulnerable personal story to a partner or close friend who was very obviously not listening? It fucking sucks!!)

4. When you meet IRL, your A.I. messages will be soooo obvious in retrospect.

Seriously, no one talks the way ChatGPT writes – and if they did, they’d sound strange! – so your date will probably realize pretty quickly that the texts you exchanged were a sham, which (again) is mighty embarrassing for you, and makes it hard for the other person to feel that their connection with you is genuine.

You’re putting them in an awkward position, too, since they might have their suspicions about A.I. involvement but likely don’t want to sound accusatory or insane by bringing it up. However, they’ll probably wonder about it distractingly for the entire duration of the date, which brings me to my fifth and final point…

5. You can’t outsource intimacy and vulnerability.

This is really the big one, huh?

When I say ‘intimacy,’ I mean the emotional kind (I don’t use it as a euphemism for sex). This type of intimacy is impossible to build without some measure of mutual vulnerability. And if all (or even some) of your messages are written by ChatGPT, you are sidestepping vulnerability, and you are therefore sidestepping intimacy itself.

I can’t let someone in unless I feel that they are letting me in, too. I can’t trust someone with my softness, my heart, or my body if they hold me at arm’s length emotionally. And if ChatGPT is writing their texts for them, well, they might as well show up to a date wearing a printed jpeg of someone else’s face pasted over their own – it’d be just as connective, just as sexy, and would get them just as laid.

 

What do you think about all this, dear readers? Feel free to sound off in the comments…

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Sohimi Viele dual-stimulation vibrator

Kate Sloan

Imagine, if you will, going to bed with a cute person, who kisses you deeply, grinds against you slowly, and – whips out a deck of cards and starts doing magic tricks.

“Pick a card, any card,” they patter away, brandishing the spread deck at you – as they kiss their way down your body, toward your junk.

Now, surely this is some people’s fantasy… and seeing as I married an erstwhile magician myself, I might even sometimes count myself among those people… but the point still stands: attempting to multi-task in bed is not always the wisest move. It can very well lead to confusion, disappointment, and accidentally getting jizz all over your pricey trick cards from the local magic shop.

All this to say: I admire the ambition behind Sohimi’s Viele dual-stimulation toy, which licks and sucks and vibrates and flaps – but I think the toy would’ve been better if it’d had fewer tricks up its sleeve. Let me tell you about it.

Things I like about the Sohimi Viele:

  • I’ve tried a lot of oral sex simulators over the years, and this one is pretty closely aligned with my own cunnilingual preferences – rare! The Viele’s “mouth” is quite top-heavy, with a thick upper lip that moves up and down in a not-quite-sucking motion (it’s more like kissing, since there’s never enough of a seal formed for it to generate suction). This works well for me; when receiving head I tend to favor a soft sucking technique over direct licking, because the tip of my clit is too damn sensitive for that – and the design and motion of the Viele’s mouth make it one of the closest things I’ve found to that sensation in a sex toy. Don’t forget to apply water-based lube generously to any oral-esque sex toy before using it! (Incidentally, Sohimi might be the best online sex toy shop for cunnilingus enthusiasts – they have more “suck vibrators” and licking toys than you can shake a clit at, many of which I have reviewed here before!)
  • While each function of the toy has 5-7 presets, you can vary their settings much more precisely by connecting your toy to the Joyhub app via Bluetooth. This was easy and quick to set up on my iPhone. Navigate to “DIY” mode and you’ll be able to individually control each of the toy’s functions using a slider. The app also lets you invite a far-away partner to control your toy, and to sync up your toy with games or videos. I’m glad to see more toy companies offering Bluetooth-controllability via app, especially toys at a lower price point like this one ($39!), especially since long-distance play has soared in popularity these last few years.
  • The low price is worth its own bullet point, because it’s rare to find a rechargeable dual-stim (or triple-stim) vibe as inexpensive as this. There’s a reason for that, though, as the next section will illustrate…

Things I don’t like about the Sohimi Viele:

  • Like many other mechanical mouths I have tried, the Viele’s mouth slows down significantly when it encounters any pressure – and I do tend to want to apply pressure with it, because it applies almost none on its own: it’s more like gentle kissing than sucking. As such, it’s an enjoyable tease at best, and when I do manage to come from it, the orgasms are underwhelming and unsatisfying.
  • The movement of the mouth is also inexorably paired with buzzyish vibration. It’s not terrible, but it dims my clitoral sensitivity over the course of a session, which – again – makes for some mediocre orgasms.
  • The shaft of the toy contains a hollow cut-out, in which there is a long noodle-shaped piece of silicone that flaps back and forth at high speeds when the “flapping” function is engaged. At low-to-medium settings, this feels a bit like some G-spot vibrators I have enjoyed, albeit much weaker… but the sensation is so subtle that it’s immediately drowned out when I turn on any of the toy’s other functions. It also seems to slow down significantly with pressure, like, y’know, my vag muscles squeezing as I become aroused…
  • I also find that the flapping function sometimes produces a queefy, trapped-air feeling in my vag when used at high speeds, which is not a turn-on for me, to say the least… and the hollow cut-out in the toy is difficult to clean.
  • The shaft also vibrates, but the vibration is so buzzy and “blah” that I rarely used it, since it generally just made my vag feel a bit tingly/itchy and then slightly numb, as tends to happen with buzzy vibration.
  • This is quite a loud toy, especially when all three functions (mouth + flapping + vibration) are engaged at once. It can definitely be heard through a closed door.
  • There’s no good way to use the toy’s “mouth” on its own, as “foreplay” for using the toy penetratively. This annoys me on principle.
  • It’s not waterproof – and even if it were, I’d probably never use it in the bath anyway because the very presence of water would probably provide enough resistance to slow the toy down substantially.

Final thoughts

It’s rare that a sex toy feels like a downgrade from jerking off by hand, like in olden times – but the Sohimi Viele falls into that category for me, unfortunately! Its mechanics are too weak to stand up to pressure, and so the orgasms it produces are weak, too.

I wrote in my testing notes, “Sure, I came, but at what cost?” – which, to be fair, is also probably what I’d say if that magician got me off and then pulled a Queen of Hearts out of my cunt and said “Is this your card?!” Sadly, with the Viele, I’m just not feelin’ the magic.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Lovense Domi 2 mini wand vibrator

Kate Sloan

What is the Lovense Domi 2?

While best known for their wearable toys, like the Lush 4 G-spot vibe and Edge 2 vibrating butt plug, Lovense has expanded their range massively to include just about every major category of toy – so, of course, they had to make a wand, and that wand is the Domi.

The Domi is a petite wand, comparable in size to the Magic Wand Mini. It’s rechargeable and lasts up to 6 hours on a charge. Like Lovense’s other toys, this one can be controlled remotely (by you or by someone else) via the Lovense app. The Domi currently retails for $119.

Things I like about the Lovense Domi 2:

  • This is an impressively strong little wand! And it’s pretty damn rumbly for the lowest third(-ish) of its power range, after which it starts to get progressively buzzier. In my experience, a lot of wand users like some buzziness with their rumbliness, though, especially on the higher end. Personally, I prefer rumbly, so I try to stay within the lower range of intensities when using this toy so I don’t get overstimulated or numbed out from the buzziness – but I like that it offers such a wide range in terms of not only vibration strength but also vibration timbre.
  • The Lovense app opens up basically infinite possibilities for customizing your experience with this toy (and most other Lovense toys, too): You can control the vibration speed with greater precision than via the toy’s own buttons, create your own vibration patterns or try other people’s creations, sync the vibrations up to music or sound, etc. There are lots of more minor settings you can change too – like I was able to turn off the blinking red light on the toy’s control panel, which I constantly mistook for a low-battery warning, by unchecking “enable LED” in the Domi’s settings. Yay!
  • I think this wand’s size and shape will work well for a huge range of users. I find it easy to hold and maneuver around, even with my achy hands/arms – especially because of the thoughtful finger indentations on the sides of the handle. The wand’s smallish head allows it to target a clit or the head of a dick with ease. The Domi is also way more travel-friendly than a full-size wand, making it suitable for long-distance couples in more ways than one.
  • I like the Domi’s buttons a lot. They’re simple, but well-executed: the “up” button is slightly bigger and more raised than the “down” button, so once you’re accustomed to them, you can find them easily without even looking at the control panel. Kudos.
  • Could be a pro or a con, depending on your preferences: The Domi’s neck is very flexible, so you can press the wand’s head decently hard against your body without fear of snapping the neck. If you like applying a lot of pressure against your bits, however, you might find the flexible neck annoying because it doesn’t allow for that.
  • It’s absolutely wild for a wand to have a battery life of 5-6 hours like this one does! (For reference, the Magic Wand Mini runs for 2 and a half hours on a full charge; the rechargeable Doxy Die Cast 3R mini wand runs for only an hour.)

Things I don’t like about the Lovense Domi 2:

  • Lovense makes a couple of optional attachments for the Domi: the “Male” attachment, which is made to stimulate the penis and prostate, and the “Female” attachment, which is made for clitoral and G-spot stimulation. While these attachments are cool and add a lot of functionality to the toy, I wish they were named something less cissexist, since trans and nonbinary people exist and it’s 2025. I also wish they were included with the wand itself, rather than costing an additional $18–25 each, since the wand alone is already a bit pricier at $119 than some other wands of comparable size and quality (for instance, Lovehoney’s rechargeable mini wand goes for $60, Doxy’s goes for $70, and the Magic Wand Mini is $100).
  • I’m so used to controlling wand vibes via their own buttons that it feels unnatural and unnecessary most of the time to connect the Domi to my phone and operate it via the Lovense app… but, if you control it solely via its buttons, you only get 3 steady vibration speeds to choose from, with big jumps in intensity between each, and then it goes into vibration patterns. I find this irritating; 6-8 different steady speeds is the minimum I’d hope for. I don’t want to have to pull out my phone every time I jerk off, especially since touchscreens are hard to operate with lubey hands.
  • This is a fairly loud vibe (as is common for wands), and the sound can be somewhat shrill and annoying. It’s not terrible but I definitely prefer to drown it out with some white noise on the stereo when I use this toy.
  • This wand isn’t fully waterproof, only IPX6 water-resistant, meaning it’s fine to wash it in the sink or use it in the shower but you shouldn’t submerge it. As an occasional bathtub masturbator, I find this a tad bit disappointing.

Final thoughts

Lovense is one of the most reliable companies making sex toys right now, if you ask me. I’ve loved many of their previous products, due primarily to their fantastic motors and excellent Bluetooth functionality – and the Domi 2 is no exception.

For myself personally, I tend to reach for wands that are easier to control via their own built-in buttons, so it’s not ideal for me that the Domi requires you to connect it to your phone to access its full range of settings. I also wish it were waterproof and quieter.

But overall I think the Domi 2 is a really solid option for anyone seeking a mini wand that boasts significant power, especially if you have a long-distance sexual connection in your life (or would like to, at some point). It’s not often that I have occasion to recommend a long-distance-compatible wand vibe, but this is the one to get, if you’re looking to get one!

 

This post was sponsored, meaning Lovense paid me to write a fair and honest review of this product (which I already owned!). As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Wildolo Nut & Bolt No.1 realistic dildo

Kate Sloan

Have you ever met somebody so cool and sexy that you felt like, “I don’t even know if I could handle having sex with this person, but I sure want to try!”?

Yeah, that was me with the Wildolo Nut & Bolt No.1 dildo. And it worked out pretty damn well for me. Let’s talk about it.

With hand for scale

What is the Wildolo Nut & Bolt No.1?

Apparently Wildolo is a subsidiary of Hismith, makers of the bestselling Hismith sex machine – huh, small world! While perhaps best known for their fantasy dildos, Wildolo also makes more humanoid options – including the Nut & Bolt No.1, which they asked me to review.

It’s a silicone dildo that looks super realistic, aside from its uncommon dimensions (and the preternatural shininess of its dick skin). Described by Wildolo as “short, thick, and ruthless,” this dildo has an insertable length of 3.94″, and a diameter that tops out somewhere around 2.1″. (Wish I could be more exact, but I am in the midst of an international move and I already packed my tape measure 😂 Sex toy reviewer problems…) It’s relatively unusual to see a dildo this short and thick on the market. I enjoyed pairing it with fantasies about a giant who is considered to have a small penis amongst his own people, but whose dick is comically massive by human standards, and how that might affect him psychologically if we fucked. (Yes, my brain is strange. What of it?)

In addition to its impressive measurements, the Nut & Bolt No.1 also boasts a few other cool features: it has a sturdy suction-cup base (which also makes it anal-safe and harness-compatible), it vibrates, and its vibrations can be controlled remotely via the Wildolo app.

Things I like about the Wildolo Nut & Bolt No.1:

  • Damn, that’s a thick dick! I was worried about my ability to handle it, initially, because I’ve been so stressed/busy for the last couple of months that I’ve barely taken my pants off to masturbate, let alone used any penetrative toys… but with enough warm-up and wetness, I actually found this dildo not only comfortable, but immensely pleasurable. Its glossy silicone surface glides well when enough water-based lube is applied, its tip is slightly tapered for easier insertion, and it stretches me out gradually as I gently push it in. I’m nowhere near as much of a size queen as I was in my mid-twenties, but the girthiness of this dildo really hits the spot (so to speak) when I’m craving that sensation of being stretched and filled.
  • Speaking of “hitting the spot,” I was surprised that this Wildolo vibrating dildo manages to stimulate both my G-spot and my A-spot at once. It makes sense that it’s G-spotty: it’s got a pronounced coronal ridge that slides back and forth over that spot with every thrust, and its sizeable girth pretty much forces that ridge against your spot. (I assume it would stimulate a prostate similarly well.) But somehow, its upturned tip, though quite thick, can nudge at the periphery of my A-spot too, creating an all-around super-stimulating and satisfying sensation for me. There was even one quick-pulsing vibration pattern that reminded me of a partner rhythmically fingering my A-spot!
  • Because of its intense girth and G-spottiness, this dildo can make me squirt with very little effort on my part. In fact it pretty much guarantees that I will squirt when I come, even if I barely move the dildo at all during the lead-up. Neat!
  • I really like the balance Wildolo struck between hardness and softness with this silicone formulation. It feels realistically erection-like: squishy enough to bend with my body and remain comfortable throughout each thrust, but firm enough to be able to pound away when I need that. I also love that the silicone’s surface is glossy, because it makes for a smoother glide and means that my hands and arms don’t get as tired out when I thrust with this toy.
  • Downloading and installing the Wildolo app on my phone + connecting it to the toy took under a minute, total. The app itself, while a bit confusing and overstuffed with features (as sex toy apps often are), was also easy enough to pick up. I can control my own toy via the app, or invite a long-distance partner to do so. You get a lot of control over vibration intensity, can create your own patterns and try out other people’s creations, etc.
  • The suction-cup base is a nice touch. It allows you to use this toy hands-free if you want to, and also makes it anal-safe and harness-compatible. This is the kind of toy that makes me wish I had more mobility in my knees/hips so I could sit down on top of it and ride it, since that seems like the optimal way to use a dildo like this, ideally suction-cupped to a tile floor (or a big heavy hardcover book, if you’re in bed!).
  • The vibrations are pretty quiet, even at high speeds, as they’re significantly muted by the thick silicone (plus your own flesh, when in use). I don’t think this toy could be heard through a closed door. Gotta love a discreet dick!
  • I think $70 is a very fair price for this toy, given that some other realistic silicone dildos will run you 100+ and they often don’t even vibrate.

Things I don’t like about the Wildolo Nut & Bolt No.1:

  • The vibration is, like… fine. It’s buzzy/high-pitched and not particularly strong, and there’s only 3 speeds followed by 7 patterns (although you can customize speeds/patterns much more precisely using the Wildolo app). I’m not the biggest fan of internal vibration anyway, but if you are, I think you’d probably prefer a toy with a rumblier/lower-pitched motor than this one.

Final thoughts

Call me a basic bitch if you must, but I like cock – and the Wildolo Nut & Bolt No.1 is a well-made, realistic silicone cock that stimulates my internal erogenous zones with aplomb, and leaves me dizzily breathless in a puddle of my own squirt. Is it perfect? No. But real cocks aren’t, either, and I can still come all over them.

On a personal note, this was the last review I had to get done before moving from Toronto to New York. (As I write this, I am surrounded by packed boxes and other detritus.) Initially I was annoyed with myself for procrastinating such that I needed to pause in the middle of packing to give this toy one final test and then write my review. But time and time again, I found myself feeling grateful that it was this toy, and not some shitty, annoying disappointment. This dildo actually felt worth fucking, even during such a chaotic week – and it even relieved some of my stress. Shout-out to Wildolo – I’m gonna go pack this toy, because it’s coming with me to New York for sure.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write an honest and fair review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.