Weal & Breech

12 Days of Girly Juice 2019: 9 Best New Sex Toys

Kate Sloan

Ah, sex toys. What would I ever do without them? (Answer: have unsatisfying orgasms and a worse relationship with my body, probably.)

I like to reflect at year’s end on my favorite newly-acquired sex toys of the year. Whether you’re reading this looking for gift recommendations (for a loved one or yourself!) or just out of curiosity, I hope you’ll find something of interest here!

 

9. Zumio S (available at SheVibe)

This teensy oscillating vibe is an updated version of the previous Zumio, and this time around, it’s designed to be more suitable for folks with ultra-sensitive clits. The whole Zumio line is more intense and pinpoint than I tend to prefer, so they’re never gonna be nightstand staples for me, but I like this one for forced orgasm play or when I’m in the mood to overwhelm myself with sensation.

 

8. We-Vibe Moxie (available at SheVibe and the Smitten Kitten)

We-Vibe’s one of the few companies I would trust to make a decent panty vibe, considering how often toys in that genre tend to be total garbage. The Moxie is, by contrast, a treasure: strong, rumbly, well-designed, and cute as hell. I wish the Bluetooth functionality was a little more reliable, but for my money, if you need a discreet vibe to wear in your underwear for public play or just to liven up a visit to the grocery store, this is the best one you’ll find.

 

7. Honour Steel Dragon Claw (available from Honour)

I requested this on a whim and it’s gotten more use than I ever expected it to. Dubbed “the weird scratchy thing” in my household, this elegant, ergonomic metal claw is great for sensation play, and the hefty handle can even be used for impact. It’s rare these days for me to encounter a type of toy I’ve never tried before, so this was a refreshing product to get my kinky little hands on.

 

6. Uberrime Jellyfish (available at SheVibe)

My vagina’s not a texture fiend, unlike those of some of my sex toy reviewer friends, so I wasn’t expecting to love this veiny, ridgy dildo. However, Uberrime did a brilliant thing by making this toy in a gorgeously soft and pliable silicone, which makes the extreme texture much easier for me to handle. Despite its obvious unreality, when I squeeze on this dildo, it feels weirdly… cock-like? #DildoMagic!

 

5. Bodywand Midnight (available at SheVibe)

I’m verrrry skeptical of new wand vibrators – hell, new vibrators in general – because so many of them are atrocious or just boring. Bodywand’s been making good stuff for ages, though (along with a fair amount of so-so stuff), so I figured this all-black electric wand of theirs would be worth a shot, and it was! I love the precise control offered by the dial, and the just-rumbly-enough vibrations topped off with some satisfying buzz.

 

4. KinkLab vampire gloves (available at Spectrum Boutique)

(Content note for this one: blood!) Okay, these are technically my partner’s, not mine. (We do intend to eventually combine our sex toy collections, however, if you know what I’m sayin’.) But they have come into contact with my blood, which – as risk-aware blood-play aficionados know – means that they now must be reserved only for use with me, for hygiene reasons. Vampire gloves are leather gloves with little metal spikes pointing out of the fingers and thumb; you can use them for scratchy sensation play, extra-intense impact play, and various other activities. These ones are well-constructed and super sexy, and I’ve enjoyed every scene we’ve done with them.

 

3. Dame Kip (available at SheVibe)

I love a cute, travel-friendly vibe! This one hasn’t quite edged out my other long-time faves, like the Tango, but I like it very much – it has a good motor and its design is well thought-out. The sunny yellow color makes me smile, too!

 

2. Vixen Creations Bandit (available at SheVibe)

Realistic dildos can seem a bit boring when contrasted with all the neon-colored dongs and ridged dragon dicks on the market, but sometimes classics are classics for a reason. This one has gotten a ton of use for me, mostly because it’s long enough to hit my A-spot and squishy enough not to ram my cervix into oblivion. Good job, Vixen.

 

1. Weal & Breech purpleheart mallet (commission your own from Weal & Breech)

This was an anniversary gift from my partner, custom-made for us by the utter geniuses at Weal & Breech, and it’s hands-down my favorite impact toy I’ve ever owned. It’s the thuddiest thing ever, feels and looks elegant as hell, and totally intrigues every kinky friend of mine who sees it. It’s a treasured possession, the kind of thing I would save in a fire alongside my computer and old journals. Get your hands on one if you love thuddy impact!

 

What were your favorite sex toys of the year?

12 Days of Girly Juice 2018: 1 Fantastic Toy Company

Kate Sloan

Every December, I choose and highlight one company whose products tangibly improved my year, and that I think all my readers need to know about. Usually it’s a tricky decision, but the astute among you could probably already guess what company I chose, because I’ve been harping on about them all year long: Weal & Breech and L’Amour-Propre.

“But Kate!” you might be saying. “That’s two companies!” Yes, technically. But they’re run by the same duo, Josh and Tal, both excellent humans who make kinky trinkets here in my hometown of Toronto. And frankly, I couldn’t pick just one!

L’Amour-Propre deals primarily in acrylic pins and suede collars, each of which I have several of. My first item from them was a turquoise suede collar, bought basically as a fashion accessory late last year. However, as my relationship with my then-new partner developed, more and more products by this delightful little company became important in the story of our ~looove~. My darlin’ bought me a “Pun Slut” pin, for example, because he understands my soul. And when we decided we both wanted him to collar me, this royal blue suede collar was the only option we ever seriously considered. I still vividly remember the way he stared at me in the NoMad dining room as we discussed our collaring plans – like he couldn’t wait to wrap that suede around my neck and own me.

That collar was beautiful and served us well. But we were even more thrilled when, a few months later, we inquired about a custom upgrade because the suede wasn’t quite holding up to the sweaty wear-and-tear we’d put it through. Tal sought out a gorgeous blue leather at our request, and made a new collar for me that has thus far proved much hardier. We greatly appreciated Tal’s willingness to make our dream collar a reality.

Another fave kinky accessory of mine comes from L’Amour-Propre too: a heart-shaped lock we had engraved with the word “Daddy’s.” I wear mine on a chain around my neck to occasions where my regular collar might look out of place or not quite fancy enough. I adore it.

As a side note: Tal also does custom-engraved pins, which are ideal if you’re going to an event and want to clearly telegraph your name, Twitter handle, pronouns, or any other crucial information. And their new leather bookmarks are a kinky bookworm’s dream.

Weal & Breech, meanwhile, makes impact toys more gorgeous than any I have ever seen. I’ve collected several of their products over the two years they’ve been in business: a sturdy and stingy paddle, a sensually smooth truncheon, and a terrifying pair of nipple clamps. All of mine are made of purpleheart wood, because I enjoy the matchy-ness of that, and because it’s visually stunning.

Most recently, though, my partner reached out to W&B’s founder Josh to inquire about an anniversary gift for me. The company had recently Instagrammed prototypes of a hefty new mallet they had in the works, and both my BF and I had drooled over ’em and wanted one real bad. My partner asked if Josh could make one for me, and Josh – who I think of as the Ollivander of impact toys – knew, of course, that it should be made of purpleheart to match my other pieces. The final, perfect touch is a wrist strap made of the same blue leather as my collar – another thing my partner didn’t even have to request. Josh and Tal are sweetheart-geniuses. My mallet is unimaginably beautiful, and easily the thuddiest impact toy I own. Swoooon!

What was your favorite sex toy company of the year?

12 Days of Girly Juice 2018: 9 Best New Sex Toys

Kate Sloan

Today is one of the most exciting instalments of 12 Days of Girly Juice: I’m picking my top 9 favorite sex toys I acquired within the past year! These toys stood out from the slush pile, and are worth hyping up. Let’s start from the bottom of the list…

9. Liberator Axis. I already have plenty of Liberator products so I wasn’t expecting this one to change my life too much, but it turns out I don’t have anything quite like it. For something that seems so simple – it’s essentially a slanted piece of firm foam you can stick your Magic Wand into – it has many exciting uses. From spanking to doggie-style sex to jerking off with my head buried in a pillow, I’ve enjoyed each and every way I’ve used this neat little accessory. (Available at SheVibe, Peepshow, and the Smitten Kitten.)

8. Kronic Sensations turquoise and pink flogger. I hemmed and hawed over whether to get this when I saw it at Kink, because… how many impact toys does a girl actually need?! But after both a friend and my boyfriend said “You have to get that,” I succumbed, and I’m glad I did. It’s made of thick, heavy suede in my two favorite colors, it looks great hanging in my room, and it provides a reliably thuddy thwack that satisfies me as both a top and a bottom. Ya nailed it, Kronic Sensations geniuses. (Similar floggers available via the maker.)

7. Funkit Toys NoFrillDo B. I bought this late last year; I remember that I trekked home after the exhausting New York trip where I first met my Sir, and my new NoFrillDo was waiting for me when I arrived. I took a bath with it, and shortly thereafter, it became the first toy I ever used while sexting with my Sir – so it holds a special place in my heart! But beyond sentimental value, this is a sturdy silicone workhouse of a dildo that strokes my G-spot with precision and is girthy enough to feel really good when my vag clenches around it. (Available at SheVibe, Peepshow, and direct from Funkit Toys.)

6. We-Vibe Anniversary Collection. I only received this recently but it’s already one of my fave acquisitions of the year. It contains sparkly purple versions of what I think are We-Vibe’s two best vibrators – the Tango and the Sync – packaged in a travel-friendly carrying case that doubles as the toys’ charger. These vibes have thrillingly rumbly motors and look and feel beautiful in use. Thanks, We-Vibe! (Available at SheVibe and Peepshow.)

5. Viktoria Torments leather-wrapped baton. I bought this at a tradeshow late last year and it’s become one of my favorite impact toys. It’s possibly the thuddiest implement I own, and – uncharacteristically for this type of toy, in my experience – it also bruises nicely. If you ever want a stingy sensation at a moment’s notice, you can also flip the toy around and hit someone with the smooth wooden handle. What a dream! (Available at Kink.)

4. Neon Wand. I figured, before I tried electrostimulation, that I’d either love it or hate it; the reality is somewhere in between. Judged purely on its immediate physical sensations, it’s not my favorite type of pain – but it undeniably takes me down into subspace more quickly and effectively than lots of other sadomasochistic activities. Perhaps because I don’t fully understand it and thus am always slightly scared of it, it brings me into a helpless headspace with alarming efficiency. My sadistic boyfriend loves this, of course. (Available at SheVibe and Come As You Are.)

3. Doxy #3. As with many Doxy products, this one has some mechanical problems, which I outlined in my review and which have actually led to many shops ceasing to stock this wand. But I’ve basically learned to work around these issues, as one does with a beloved cardigan that’s missing a button or a TV that only works when its antenna is contorted just so. This miniature wand vibe’s travel-friendly stature and thrumming motor have made it a favorite companion when I travel to see my boyfriend. It’s also one of the first gifts he ever got me – an impromptu Christmas gift, a mere 12 days after we met – so I love it for that reason, too. Thanks, Sir. (Available at SheVibe.)

2. Uberrime Night King. My pals at Peepshow Toys sent this to me and I love it way more than I was expecting it to. It’s long enough to target my A-spot astonishingly well, and the shape is dick-like enough to allow me to fantasize about cocks but still has all that unique texture to keep things interesting. My Sir says I make good noises when I use this toy! Review to come in the new year… (Available at Peepshow.)

1. Weal & Breech purpleheart truncheon. Whoops, my #1 sex toy of the year is an impact toy; guess I’m kinky! I bought this at the Playground Conference in February, at my Sir’s behest, and it became a near-instant fave. The hefty wood feels thuddy, but the smooth finish gives it some sting, too. It’s easy to swing, and looks sexy as hell. I’m so looking forward to seeing what Weal & Breech come up with next – and hopefully trying one of their butt-punching mallets! (Similar products available at Come As You Are and from Weal & Breech directly.)

What toys did you love most this year?

Mini Reviews: We-Vibe Pivot, Icicles #69, & Weal & Breech Nipple Clamps

Kate Sloan

Oops, I let my toy review pile overflow again. Here’s a few mini ones squished together!

We-Vibe Pivot (available at SheVibe)

I am always looking for a vibrating cock ring that will actually get me off, which I realize is sort of a pipe dream. There are people more sensitive than I, so I’m led to believe, who are havin’ orgasms left and right with these things – but I’ve never gotten off that way. Not ever. Not even once, in my entire sexual career.

But the beautiful and rechargeable We-Vibe Pivot comes the closest of any I’ve tried, which sounds like faint praise but is actually pretty significant. We-Vibe is known for (among other things) their rumbly motors, and since the problem with most vibrating cock rings is their laughably buzzy vibrations, this one is a step in the right direction.

I also like that the motor is housed in a broad, slightly jutting, squarish shape at the top of the ring, allowing it to make contact with my clit more consistently during PIV sex. Like most toys of this sort, this one basically requires small, deep thrusts if you want to keep the vibrating part on the receptive partner’s clit, but fortunately for me, that’s how I like to be fucked anyway. My inability (so far) to reach orgasm with this toy is not the fault of the toy, but more related to my own anxieties about “taking too long” to come during PIV sex, and the relative rarity of PIV in my sex life compared to other acts which get me off much more reliably.

I’ve tried this ring with two different penis-wielding partners and both reported it was comfortable if perhaps a little tight (keeping in mind that restrictiveness is part of the point of cock rings). If you’re of above-average girth, you might need the assistance of lube to get this ring onto your junk. The silicone has some stretch but is firmer than I’d generally expect from a cock ring, so keep that in mind.

If you’ve always liked the idea of vibrating cock rings but hated them in practice, the We-Vibe Pivot is the one I’d recommend. It’s quite a bit pricier than your typical watch-battery, jelly-rubber cock ring, but it’ll also last you longer and quite possibly actually feel good instead of numbing your genitals.

Icicles No. 69 (available at Betty’s Toy Box)

I requested this because it looked like a potentially great A-spot toy – and at a decent price point, no less!

However, it sort of misses the mark on that front. The bigger end can sort of slide up into my A-spot if I angle it just right, but then the small amount of toy left for me to use as a “handle” is awkwardly short and curves away from me, so I can’t easily thrust hard and fast the way I prefer.

The smaller end, meanwhile, is too sharply curved to be a good A-spotter – though it does hit my G-spot with aplomb. I’m not into narrow, pinpointed G-spot stimulation – I prefer mine bigger and broader – but if you like the sensation of one or two fingers stroking your G-spot, you might like the roughly equivalent-sized small end of this dildo too.

The other reason this dildo won’t become a bedside staple of mine? All that texture on the shaft. I don’t mind the sensation of it, but it doesn’t really add to my experience, and it’s also a nightmare to clean.

If you want an A-spotty dildo for under $50, I think the Icicles No. 5, Ruse D Thang (used upside-down), and Blue Wave look like good contenders. I wanted to like the Icicles No. 69 but it’s just not quite what I wanted it to be.

Weal & Breech nipple clamps (available at Come As You Are)

I had my eye on these for a long time, and then when W&B came out with some in purpleheart wood, I knew I had to snap them up. They’re quite unlike any other nipple clamps I’ve ever seen: they’re made of two slats of wood which screw together with brass fittings. They open up pretty wide, so you can fit nipples big and small into them, as well as potentially a clit or even the head of a cock. (Be careful!)

The inner surfaces of the wood are cross-hatched, which helps them stay in place once they’re on. I’ve had slippage issues with lots of other clamps, but not with these.

It takes a while to get them on and off, because you have to unscrew the fittings, position your nipple between the wood slats, and then screw the fittings closed again. I love this element of anticipation when doing sadomasochistic scenes, but if you like your nipple pain quick ‘n’ dirty, you’d probably prefer regular ol’ alligator-style nipple clamps.

When using these, I have to be careful not to pinch my skin between the brass and the wood, because that hurts, and not in the fun way. That’s usually as easy as gently prying my flesh away from the brass screw while I’m putting the clamps on.

One thing I miss from other clamps, that these lack, is a string or chain connecting the two. It can be fun to tug on the connector between two clamps during a scene, for a random jolt of pain. However, if you wanted, you could attach your own string or chain to these; they just don’t come with one.

I notice that I have to re-tighten these clamps every few minutes to maintain the high levels of pain I want from them, and I’m not sure if that’s because the clamps are slowly loosening or my pain tolerance is just increasing over time. Either way, it’s not a huge deal. I tell partners about this issue before letting them use these clamps on me for the first time, and they usually remember to readjust every few minutes – especially if they’re sadistic and like seeing my grimace of pain when they do this!

Overall, I love these clamps. They’re unusual, beautiful, and extremely painful. All the best qualities for nipple clamps to have!

Thanks to SheVibe and Betty’s Toy Box for sending me the first two toys. I bought the clamps myself.

Monthly Faves: Dildorks, Dresses, and Daddy

Kate Sloan

Wow, I got up to a lot of kinky shit this past month. Here were some of my favorite things in February…

Sex toys

• My partner is really into fucking me with the Njoy Eleven lately – or, more often, making me fuck myself with it while he instructs me on speed, strength, and depth over the phone. Nothing else in my collection feels quite like this toy. It’s really an astonishing piece of steel.

• Loving the purpleheart truncheon I picked up from Weal & Breech at the Playground Conference. It’s lovely and thuddy, the craftsmanship is beautiful, and I adore the included black leather wrist strap. This company’s wares are so classy and gorgeous, not to mention painful in the best way.

• I told a story at Tell Me Something Good about hypnokink (more on that next week!) and when I was selected to win a prize at the end of the night, someone suggested I choose the Ruse Hypnotize, for obvious reasons. I’ve used it a few times since then and it’s pretty good for its price point: a nice-quality silicone dildo of a satisfying shape and size, that can hit my A-spot and makes for pretty blowjobs on camera. (“Can confirm,” my boyf says.)

Fantasy fodder

• Ageplay is a new thing to my boyfriend, but he’s enjoying being my Daddy. We’ve done a few phone-sex scenes involving me being little and him teaching me a thing or two about my sexual anatomy, or his. Fuuuck, it’s so hot.

• We’ve also been talking a fair bit about bootblacking, one of those interesting kinks that came out of nowhere for me and that I can’t quite explain. I remember telling him on our first date that I liked his shiny shoes, and since then I’ve increasingly wanted to kneel in front of him, put my face/lips/tongue all over his shoes, shine ’em up, and so on. Maybe we’ll experiment with this in March when he comes to visit me.

• I’ve mentioned to my partner a couple times that I have long-time fantasies about Victorian “hysteria” treatments: having orgasms coolly administered to me by a medical professional for my own good. We did some intense in-character sexting about that this month (ain’t it nice when two improv geeks date?!) and he also mentioned wanting to strap me down and use my Zumio to extract an orgasm from me. Um, yes please.

Sexcetera

• It was neat to get to try the new Cowgirl vibrator at the Museum of Sex this month. Aside from concerns about its unnecessarily gendered name and marketing (which we discussed in-depth in a recent Dildorks episode), I enjoyed giving it a shot. My partner picked up the control panel and said “May I?” and I basically melted onto the floor. The Cowgirl is rumblier than the Sybian (at least, it’s rumblier than my 2.5-year-old memory of the Sybian) and I found it more comfortable to sit on. I think I’ll get to try it again soon at Suz’s blog relaunch party (which you should come to!).

• The Playground Conference fucking ruled. Some highlights of my time there: speaking on the opening plenary with a bunch of brilliant babes; my Sir ordering pizza and a cookie to my hotel room all the way from New York when I was too overwhelmed to figure out food for myself; Kevin Patterson shouting us out in his keynote; learning about turning fantasies into realities; recording a live Dildorks episode; spanking a couple of beauties with a bible and various other implements; seeing (and livetweeting) Bex teaching blowjobs; introverty dinners with clever cuties. So much love to the conference’s organizer Samantha Fraser, who is a total badass and deserves all the applause!

Femme stuff

• In discussing how to maintain our close but long-distance connection during the potentially distancing chaos that is a sex conference, I asked my Sir, “Would it make you feel good to choose my outfits for Playground?” He’s previously enjoyed this so I thought he’d like to do it some more, and I was right. I sent him photos of all the dresses I wanted to wear + my tentative schedule for the con, and he chose which dresses I should wear on which days. It was a cute way for me to feel connected to him even as I was hustlin’ and bustlin’ around a busy conference 500 miles from him.

• Hippo Campus is my favorite band, and their merch makes me happy. I own three of their T-shirts now, because I’m a nerd, and they’re all I want to wear on lazy, loungey days. This one, a Christmas gift from my little brother, is my fave: so soft, so snazzy!

• I have a new tattooooo! Probably gonna blog about it eventually, I’d imagine. I went back to Laura Blaney, who did my thigh tattoos; she’s fantastic. It’s colorful and punchy and lovely and I’m excited for it to heal completely so I can show it off!

Little things

Solo theatre dates, front-row centre. Drinking a “Hot Dad Bramble” with my daddy. Slow-dancing to Warm Glow. Compersion. Starburst as aftercare candy. Valentine’s flowers. Getting tied up by a sweet, funny boy who was intermittently singing me showtunes. Wearing my collar to public appearances because Sir said so. Talking to Erin at the Bed Post Podcast about hypnokink, DD/lg, etc. Seeing improv shows with friends. Exciting coffee meetings about new projects. The “Pun Slut” pin my Sir bought me (so perfect). Fancy pens. Sir listening to my radio show and live-texting me his reactions for me to read during the commercial breaks. Getting my hair done and feeling like a queen. Maple cookies. Staying hydrated. Late-night giggly phone sex.