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Reviews: Fun Factory Stronic Real + Stronic G

Kate Sloan
The Stronic Real (purple) and Stronic G (blue).

It’s very rare, as a sex toy reviewer, to be able to say that any product is truly unique. The sex toy industry has been around for long enough now that hardly any products bring anything genuinely new to the table – most of them are just improvements on (or attempts to improve) toys that already exist. While that’s a noble goal, sometimes I find myself thirsting for invention rather than just innovation.

Fun Factory really did reinvent the wheel a few years back when they launched their Stronic line of products. These toys actually thrust back and forth using technology I haven’t seen elsewhere. You can get Stronic-style movement in a whole bunch of different shapes now, which is great news because it means more people can enjoy this seemingly magical thrusting!

Recently I was lucky enough to be sent two new(ish) Stronic toys, and I’m gonna review them for you today. They’re both rechargeable, waterproof, made of silicone and plastic, and not anal-safe (due to the lack of a flared base), and both have a wide variety of speeds and patterns, but other than that, they’re pretty different, as you’ll see…

The Stronic Real (sent to me by the lovely folks at Betty’s Toy Box) is, as its name suggests, Fun Factory’s take on a “realistically” shaped toy. But this company isn’t exactly known for realism, so this toy moreso gestures at the idea of a penis than actually depicts one. I don’t mind that – dicks’ coronal ridge and thrusting action are two of my favorite qualities of theirs, and both of those are present here.

The thing you need to know right away about the Stronic Real is that it seems to be the best choice from the Stronic line for those of us who enjoy A-spot stimulation. It’s long enough to hit the spot in question, and has the exact shape that works best for me when I’m trying to reach my A-spot while satisfying the rest of my vagina too: a thick shaft and a tapered tip with a slight upward curve. If I ease the Stronic Real into my vag as far as it’ll go (using lots of lube, because Fun Factory silicone is draaaaggy), and brace the base of it with my hand or a pillow so it doesn’t slip out as it thrusts, it can stay pretty focused on my A-spot so I can pay attention to whatever I’m doing to my clit. (Probably using the Eroscillator on it, let’s be real.)

The Stronic G, by contrast, doesn’t usually even need to be braced against something – because it locks onto my G-spot and basically stays there. This phenomenon sets it apart from other toys in the Stronic line, to a significant enough extent that I could see turning to this one when the chronic pain in my hands is flaring up and I can’t (or don’t want to) hold a penetrative toy.

I’m not known for my squirting the way some other bloggers are, but boy howdy, this toy sure makes me squirt a lot. In my inaugural Stronic G session with my partner, I soaked through their bedsheets so thoroughly that we decided to belatedly put down a towel – which I then promptly soaked through, too. The thrusting feels a lot like a skilled partner fingerbanging you at the high rate of speed that many people find causes squirting. I find that it’s more of a constant trickle, unlike the bigger, more theatrical expulsions prompted by something heftier like the Pure Wand. If you’ve been curious about learning to squirt, the Stronic G might be a revelation for you – but on the flipside, if you find G-spot stimulation overwhelming or unpleasant, you will likely hate this toy. It is a G-spot-focused jackhammer and is, as Epiphora would say, not for the faint of vagina.

Neither the Real nor the G can hit my internal spots with the amount of force, accuracy, and frankly, slowness that I tend to prefer when partners use their fingers on those spots. It’s sort of like the difference between tickling and massage. I can definitely have orgasms with the faster, more surface-level stimulation provided by the Stronic toys – and I have, many times – but they have a different, more frenetic and less profound quality than orgasms I have when my spots are being stimulated more methodically and firmly. (This is why, as I get closer to orgasm, I sometimes ask my partner to switch from fucking me with the Stronic G to using something with more chutzpah, like the Eleven, to finish me off.) However, for toys that are more-or-less hands-free, they do an excellent job replicating the sensation of being fingerbanged. If you like getting fucked fast – or if you tend to thrust your dildos in and out on the quicker side of the spectrum – you’ll likely enjoy these.

Do I think you need both the Stronic Real and the Stronic G in your collection? Certainly not. The latter is best for hardcore G-spot stimulation enthusiasts, while the former is likelier to satisfy those who like A-spot stimulation and/or general vaginal fullness. But I am, admittedly, quite glad to own both. They’re both very damn good at their core competencies – and when you’re craving a Stronic, nothing else will do.

 

Thank you so much to Betty’s Toy Box and Fun Factory, respectively, for sending me these products to try!

The Most Exciting New Sex Toys I Saw at ANME

Kate Sloan

Last weekend in Burbank, California, I attended my first ANME Founders, a tradeshow where sex toy manufacturers hobnob with retailers and media-makers while showing off their latest flashy toys. It was an exhausting trip – me and Bex were there drumming up interest for a forthcoming publishing project we’re working on – but the toys excited me nonetheless. Here are my faves that I saw…

California Exotics has a new line of bullets coming out called Glam. They are shiny and pretty, but – as anyone who’s read (or written) a lot of sex toy reviews could tell you – that doesn’t always mean a product is good-quality or can make you come.

However, when I picked up this bullet and turned it on, I said, “Whoa!” It was way rumblier than I was expecting. It also comes in a gorgeous turquoisey-blue. I’ll be impatiently refreshing the CalEx website until they release this little beaut.

Likewise, Dame has also released a new bullet. It’s called the Zee, and it is bright blue, USB-rechargeable, and decently rumbly (it’s comparable to their Kip clitoral vibrator which I reviewed recently). It’s cool to see this company expanding their catalogue so colorfully, and putting effort into making sure their motors are great.

I was heartened to see that many companies are now offering vibes that are easy to grip between your fingers, like the Blush Novelties Noje B6. As someone with a chronic pain disorder that often manifests as soreness, stiffness, and/or weakness in my hands, I appreciate having options that don’t require me to (literally) white-knuckle my way through hand pain in order to get off.

The folks at Clone-a-Willy have created a vulva-focused version of their flagship product: you can cast a mold of your bits and attach them to a Fleshlight-esque sleeve. A lot of people ask me whether there’ll ever be something similar for the inside of the vagina, but the folks at Clone-a-Willy told me that would be invasive and scientifically difficult – I would imagine because of the way the vag flattens in on itself when not “in use.” But this product is a perfectly serviceable substitute, and frankly I think my partner, for one, would be plenty happy owning a fuckable facsimile of my bits!

In a stroke of true genius, a company called CellMate has introduced an app-controllable chastity device. It’s ideal for people who like to do solo chastity play as well as folks who prefer to do it with a partner acting as their “keyholder.”

I suspect this product is also geared toward pro dommes (including those who only interact with clients online), since a sales rep told me one person can control up to 50 devices from their app at a time! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I love the ingenuity of kinksters.

Finally: maybe this is old news – I wouldn’t know, because I barely follow Lelo anymore, now that they’ve fucked up so many times that I kinda feel gross even using their toys – but Lelo now makes a beauteous turquoise version of their large Smart Wand. I loved mine when I owned one, but the battery completely died after less than two years. If they’ve updated this toy’s inner workings so the battery lasts longer and the toy doesn’t have weird mechanical defects, that could be intriguing… if not for the fact that they still haven’t answered for their various past missteps. SIGH.

What upcoming sex toys are you excited about?

12 Days of Girly Juice 2019: 1 Fantastic Toy Company

Kate Sloan

I don’t have that many “favorite sex toy companies” anymore. I used to like Lelo, but they’ve fucked up so many times that I feel weird even using their toys anymore, let alone promoting them. I used to adore Tantus, too, but they have also fucked up and haven’t made anything I’ve been excited about in a while anyway. The Eroscillator is my favorite toy ever, but the company itself is sort of cryptic and aloof, and even I acknowledge that their flagship toy is drastically overpriced. There aren’t many companies left in this biz about which I’m willing to wholeheartedly say, “They are good people who make good products and I 100% recommend them.”

With that in mind, however, I gotta say that my 2019 sex toy company of the year is Uberrime. (It’s apparently pronounced “ooh-burr-REE-may,” incase you were wondering.)

When I first ventured into sex toy reviewing, I was struck by the beauty of many toys, especially handmade ones. Artfully sculpted silicone and eye-catching colors made my heart sing. Now, nearly 8 years into this wacky journey, I’m more blasé about toys – but Uberrime’s products activate that long-dormant excitement in me again. There’s something straight-up delightful about a glow-in-the-dark tentacle dildo or a purple dragon dildo with golden balls. Uberrime’s whole aesthetic, IMO, is childlike playfulness meets design ingenuity, and I love it.

Because let’s not forget: these dildos aren’t just beautiful, they also feel great. The adorable Jellyfish dildo is so satisfyingly textured that it made it into my “best sex toys of the year” list. My true love of the Uberrime universe, however, is the Night King, a lengthy, A-spot-stroking behemoth that I still use at least once a week, more than a year after acquiring it. There’s nothing else in my collection quite like it. Its silicone has just enough squish to make it comfortable when it’s pounding hard and deep inside me, but enough firmness and length to satisfy that deeply-buried erogenous zone.

My partner and I like the Night King so much, in fact, that we’ve recently taken to using it during strap-on sex: my beau slips into a RodeoH briefs harness, tugs the Night King through the hole, and suddenly has this magnificent alien dick with which to fuck me. Its extra-long stature and wide base make it truly ideal for strap-on sex. Just a hot tip from me to you!

So what’s next on my Uberrime wishlist? The dual-density Bella is a stunner and would probably work well for pegging. I’m entranced by the Dr. Manhattan, which boasts measurements similar to the Night King’s but without all that intense texture (because, let’s face it, my vag just isn’t always up to the task). My friend Epiphora adores the Splendid, so much that the company even made a limited-edition version in her favorite color. All of these look fantastic and I’m excited to see what Uberrime comes up with next!

What was your favorite sex toy company of the year?

Aaand that’s a wrap on blog posts here for 2019! I’ll be back on January 1st (or thereabouts, depending on… New Year’s hangovers) with my annual Sextistics post. Here’s a brief credits sequence so I can thank the people who helped make Girly Juice dot net run smoothly in 2019:

  • mb, my supportive angel, first reader, and de facto official photographer
  • All the wonderful clients who commissioned sponsored posts and placed ads here this year (wanna become one of them in 2020? you know what to do!)
  • All the companies and makers who sent me cool products to review here
  • My affiliates, especially SheVibe
  • Josh Clarke, assistant extraordinaire 😉
  • The tech support people at Hostgator, Namecheap, and Simplecast
  • My blogger friends (check ’em out in my sidebar)
  • My newsletter subscribers, Patreon supporters, and other people who financially make my work possible
  • …and most crucially, you, my lovely readers!

Happy holidays and have a good 2020, babes! 💋

12 Days of Girly Juice 2019: 8 Brilliant Books

Kate Sloan

This instalment of 12 Days of Girly Juice used to highlight my favorite things I tweeted all year, but you know what? I’d rather talk about books. (However, if you were wondering, my favorite tweets of the year were definitely this one and this one.)

I read 40+ books this year and loved lots of them, so this is hard – but here are my 8 top picks!

You Know You Want This by Kristen Roupenian

From the author of the viral story “Cat Person” came this tour de force, a collection of short stories about the complexity of consent. Within these pages are several tricky fictional situations centering around sexual sadism, relational autonomy, erotic humiliation, and more. Several times while reading this book, I had to put it down and ponder: What do I think this character should have done, ethically? What decision would I have made in this situation? This book is so timely, what with the concept of consent being debated and dissected all over the place due to the #MeToo movement, and I think these stories are useful thought exercises for those of us concerned with parsing what consent and non-consent really mean, and what their limitations might be.

The Collected Schizophrenias by Esmé Weijun Wang

When I first read Esmé’s essay “Perdition Days” years ago, I thought it was one of the most striking things I’d ever read. It chronicles her time living with Cotard’s delusion, a belief that (in her case) one is dead, and that the people in one’s life are merely purgatory’s facsimiles of their living counterparts. Esmé painted an incredibly affecting picture of what this delusion felt like from the inside, and how it impacted those around her. She went on to write The Collected Schizophrenias, a collection of essays (including “Perdition Days”) which discuss her life with chronic mental and physical illness, and the various dilemmas and struggles therewith. I found myself crying on the subway while reading Esmé weigh the decision to have kids or stay childless; I marveled at her reporting on chronic lime disease and the way its sufferers are frequently dismissed and disbelieved; I revelled in the bravery it must have taken for her to write about these things, and the artfulness with which she has done so. This book has stuck with me in ways I can’t even articulate, and I’m so glad it exists.

High Heel by Summer Brennan

You won’t read a more thorough history of the high heel than this – but this book is so much more than that. It discusses the iconic shoe in relation to politics, gender, sexuality, pain, music, film, fashion, and more. I notice people’s shoes a lot more now than I did before reading this book – and I’m more intentional about my own choices in that regard, too. I like Summer’s nuanced conclusion that high heels aren’t necessarily oppressive and evil like many feminists argue – they can instead be a freely chosen expression of identity that many people find affirming and uplifting.

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O’Connell

I saw this book retweeted onto my Twitter timeline and my interest was immediately piqued. A gorgeously illustrated story about queer high-school heartbreak? Yes please! I cried multiple times while reading this immensely beautiful graphic novel, because the feelings of rejection, insecurity, unworthiness, and ultimately resilience were so familiar to me, from both my queer relationships and my “straight” ones. The pleasure of reading this book was equal parts emotional, intellectual, aesthetic, and tactile – a rare thing!

Building Open Relationships by Dr. Liz Powell

If you read only one book on non-monogamy, make it this one. Dr. Liz lays out all the common pitfalls of this relationship style and how to deal with them. Their book is written with compassion and vulnerability, and is full of useful stories from Liz’s own dating life that illustrate the principles they teach. I feel much more equipped to handle non-monogamy after reading this book, and I’ve recommended it to countless people. It’s just that good.

Night Film by Marisha Pessl

I love a good murder-mystery, and that’s exactly what this novel is. An investigative journalist sets his sights on figuring out why and how the daughter of a prominent horror movie director died. In the process, he picks up a couple of sidekicks, wanders through revered movie sets, chats with a drug-addled movie star, breaks into abandoned buildings, swans around Manhattan penthouses, sneaks onto an estate in a canoe, and basically just gets up to some good old-fashioned hijinks. Marisha Pessl is a gifted (and often hilarious) writer, and I was captivated by this story from beginning to end.

Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino

This book got a lot of attention around its launch, and for good reason. Tolentino’s painstakingly constructed essays dive into precarious topics like the wedding industrial complex, the absurdity of reality TV, activewear as capitalist fetishwear, and more. Every piece in this book is incisive, witty, evocative, and meticulously researched. Reading it probably made me smarter, and definitely made me feel smarter.

The Wagers by Sean Michaels

I’m biased because Sean is my cousin, but this novel is really extraordinary. It’s primarily about luck – what does it mean to be lucky, and how can one become moreso? – but is also about love, and family, and fame, and privilege, and the grocery business. I love a twisty plot, and this one frequently made me shout “OH SHIT” while reading in cafés or on the subway (whoops). I fell in love with the characters of this strange novel, and couldn’t wait to find out what would happen to them next.

What were your favorite books you read this year?

12 Days of Girly Juice 2019: 9 Best New Sex Toys

Kate Sloan

Ah, sex toys. What would I ever do without them? (Answer: have unsatisfying orgasms and a worse relationship with my body, probably.)

I like to reflect at year’s end on my favorite newly-acquired sex toys of the year. Whether you’re reading this looking for gift recommendations (for a loved one or yourself!) or just out of curiosity, I hope you’ll find something of interest here!

 

9. Zumio S (available at SheVibe)

This teensy oscillating vibe is an updated version of the previous Zumio, and this time around, it’s designed to be more suitable for folks with ultra-sensitive clits. The whole Zumio line is more intense and pinpoint than I tend to prefer, so they’re never gonna be nightstand staples for me, but I like this one for forced orgasm play or when I’m in the mood to overwhelm myself with sensation.

 

8. We-Vibe Moxie (available at SheVibe and the Smitten Kitten)

We-Vibe’s one of the few companies I would trust to make a decent panty vibe, considering how often toys in that genre tend to be total garbage. The Moxie is, by contrast, a treasure: strong, rumbly, well-designed, and cute as hell. I wish the Bluetooth functionality was a little more reliable, but for my money, if you need a discreet vibe to wear in your underwear for public play or just to liven up a visit to the grocery store, this is the best one you’ll find.

 

7. Honour Steel Dragon Claw (available from Honour)

I requested this on a whim and it’s gotten more use than I ever expected it to. Dubbed “the weird scratchy thing” in my household, this elegant, ergonomic metal claw is great for sensation play, and the hefty handle can even be used for impact. It’s rare these days for me to encounter a type of toy I’ve never tried before, so this was a refreshing product to get my kinky little hands on.

 

6. Uberrime Jellyfish (available at SheVibe)

My vagina’s not a texture fiend, unlike those of some of my sex toy reviewer friends, so I wasn’t expecting to love this veiny, ridgy dildo. However, Uberrime did a brilliant thing by making this toy in a gorgeously soft and pliable silicone, which makes the extreme texture much easier for me to handle. Despite its obvious unreality, when I squeeze on this dildo, it feels weirdly… cock-like? #DildoMagic!

 

5. Bodywand Midnight (available at SheVibe)

I’m verrrry skeptical of new wand vibrators – hell, new vibrators in general – because so many of them are atrocious or just boring. Bodywand’s been making good stuff for ages, though (along with a fair amount of so-so stuff), so I figured this all-black electric wand of theirs would be worth a shot, and it was! I love the precise control offered by the dial, and the just-rumbly-enough vibrations topped off with some satisfying buzz.

 

4. KinkLab vampire gloves (available at Spectrum Boutique)

(Content note for this one: blood!) Okay, these are technically my partner’s, not mine. (We do intend to eventually combine our sex toy collections, however, if you know what I’m sayin’.) But they have come into contact with my blood, which – as risk-aware blood-play aficionados know – means that they now must be reserved only for use with me, for hygiene reasons. Vampire gloves are leather gloves with little metal spikes pointing out of the fingers and thumb; you can use them for scratchy sensation play, extra-intense impact play, and various other activities. These ones are well-constructed and super sexy, and I’ve enjoyed every scene we’ve done with them.

 

3. Dame Kip (available at SheVibe)

I love a cute, travel-friendly vibe! This one hasn’t quite edged out my other long-time faves, like the Tango, but I like it very much – it has a good motor and its design is well thought-out. The sunny yellow color makes me smile, too!

 

2. Vixen Creations Bandit (available at SheVibe)

Realistic dildos can seem a bit boring when contrasted with all the neon-colored dongs and ridged dragon dicks on the market, but sometimes classics are classics for a reason. This one has gotten a ton of use for me, mostly because it’s long enough to hit my A-spot and squishy enough not to ram my cervix into oblivion. Good job, Vixen.

 

1. Weal & Breech purpleheart mallet (commission your own from Weal & Breech)

This was an anniversary gift from my partner, custom-made for us by the utter geniuses at Weal & Breech, and it’s hands-down my favorite impact toy I’ve ever owned. It’s the thuddiest thing ever, feels and looks elegant as hell, and totally intrigues every kinky friend of mine who sees it. It’s a treasured possession, the kind of thing I would save in a fire alongside my computer and old journals. Get your hands on one if you love thuddy impact!

 

What were your favorite sex toys of the year?